Emma Skovgård Oh my god, finally, somebody actually doesn’t treat politics like a sport. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone not care who the candidate was as long as they were a democrat/republican.
The Onion is unironically that trope of "the person who is writing a book and realizes whatever they write comes true". It's literally hundreds of things at this point. Please, spare us, Onion overlords. Write us a nice chapter.
Just remember, somewhere in America, some underpaid line cook in a mall food court made the world's most perfect cinnamon roll, too beautiful for this world. And that's enough to get me through the bad times
@@wolight that underpaid cook has made that beautiful cinnamon roll, too beautiful for this world, and you can't eat it. That, in itself is enough to keep me miserable.
No, that’s not quite it. It’s just that we’re following a path that satirists have found very easy to predict, simply due to the fact that we HAVEN’T BOTHERED TO FIX A SINGLE PRESSING PROBLEM SINCE THE FRIGGIN BUSH ADMINISTRATION!!!
@@nicholassixbury7999 "... one would like to be funny and historically correct, of course, but because it is difficult to combine them, it is better to be funny than right." - Niccolo Machiavelli
Hillary Clinton was hated for years before she ran for president. Which is why it’s so surprising people voted for her in the primary, thinking she had a major chance at winning. Doubly surprising was that she still actually won the popular vote.
@@vidblogger12 Most people just wanted Trump away from the presidency, evident by how we voted Biden in, he's nowhere remotely close to as internationally despised as the Clintons.
@@vidblogger12 i know "it was rigged mannn" is a meme or w/e, but the party has no obligation to make the primaries democratic, and have a lot of tricks up their sleeve which they've been running for decades. in keeping with the theme of "republicans blatantly doing the things democrats subtly do", for 2020 the republicans cancelled primaries completely, while the democrats just flooded the field with a million indistinguishable candidates, bought their endorsement for biden at the last minute to consolidate their wealthier voters, and sabotaged the voting system for their poorer ones, with the fairly obvious goal of preventing a sanders win
@Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in fact, I don't think you're allowed to challenge the incumbent of your own party under most conditions. Don't quote me on that though
It's almost like they knew all the way back in 2012 that she was _not_ going to give up after '08, and the enthusiasm for her running was far stronger in the "against" camp. Basically, it was one time when the politicians were _too_ transparent. But yes, **surprised_pikachu_face.jpg**
Chona Castillo this was made in 2012, and Hilary ending up actually running in 2016 against trump, who the sphere of pure rage represents in the jokes.
@AsrielKekker not once in the history of humanity has someone changed someone else's mind by telling them to shut up. I'm my opinion, the best way to convince someone of something is to show them the marits of your argument. Unfortunately, trump has none.
To all those who compare this piece of satire to Donald Trump, just stop. No way a moderate like the Sphere of Pure Rage would fit in the Republican Party.
I really think you're not being open minded enough here. This could be a new direction for the Republican party. I really think that the base has been waiting for a candidate like sphere of rage for awhile now and simply hasn't seen a candidate that really exemplifies the core sentiments of the party like this.
Libya is in ruins, and slaves are openly sold. Trump has a lot to answer for wait what? Oh it was Hillz then it must´ve been for the greater good and not because Gaddafi wanted to create a gold-based new currency for oil trade. Got it. Thanks, CNN.
It's impossible to know if it's the worst decision. We only have the decision we made. However, even Bernie said creating a no-fly zone over Syria would start WW3 and that's what Hillary wanted. So by voting for Trump, I stopped World War 3. You're welcome. I'm a registered Democrat and the left has lost my vote.
@@evilsharkey8954 it's the only way they see to beat globalists, by aligning with corruption influences on the Democratic process. These influences seek to return to imperialistic economies enforcing a lower cost of living in affected places so the imperialist can enforce a high valuation of their fiat currency. People like Trump and Putin are seeking global financial control. Control what's indispensable and you rule the world. Worse global economy is worth the cost to them.
"110 year old black woman never thought she'd be so indifferent about re-electing a black president" "Orb against wasteful spending. Favors human extinction" I just... what even is life anymore?
It's all in the same timeline. The Democrats were beginning to say this kind of overblown rhetoric about Republicans in 2008, and the media loves to exaggerate it. The Onion takes it to the absurd extreme, and 2020 is the absurd extreme. The feedback loop of exaggerated rhetoric has reached criticality.
And it's a reference to an actual 106-year-old black woman who cast her final presidential vote for Obama in 2008 who Obama talked about in his Grant Park victory speech
"If the Republicans want this thing they are going to have to find a way to trap it, communicate with it, steer it in the right direction." oh my. I thought for sure this was a satire of Trump until I saw the comments.
@@DevanK-rg3td Or the fact she's an ancient out of touch neoliberal that voted for the Iraq war with a homophobic track record, but we can go with the woman thing. Biden is basically just a mirrored version of Hillary but we can replace homophobia with racial injustice. These are D tier picks. We need to stop throwing with these shit-tier candidates.
Mr Haaris at the very end, they said early dem 2016 front runners included Joe Biden, Martin O’Malley, and the magical art of empty promises. Granted Joe Biden was VP at the time predicting he’d be a candidate in the near future is a slam dunk
@@52flyingbicycles Additionally, Biden had previously campaigned for presidency twice, so him attempting a third "times the charm" run wouldn't have been too hard to predict. The orb and cloud on the other hand...
@@waldoman7 I meant Trump lol, he is still very responsible for the deaths of many elder citizens and COVID handling mishaps, but the Cuomo thing fits in well too ig
@@mattsunshine9252 yeah areas of covid management were probably his weakest moment as a president in terms of action/non-action, (or maybe the weak response to the capitol riots was) but while our case numbers were quite high our death per case rate was extremely low, and he had that vaccine developed right on the schedule that he'd promised and been mocked or even called a liar for. So, I mean, we all know he's a piece of shit, but measured by actual results he's a better than average president even at his worst. Of course he can't beat Biden, who had case numbers plummeting the day after his inauguration by bravely allowing them to change testing standards to require double positive tests, and asking some people to not even come in for testing.
@@waldoman7 maybe we measure by different standards, but I think the enormous corporate tax cuts and obliteration of Somalia were among his weakest points, but as far as COVID goes the little success we did have was due to local regulations and not federal help, as Trump and, in fairness, the rest of Washington simply bickered over who did what and who was the bad guy while our population and middle-lower class economy sputtered. Trump also missed out on a major opportunity to encourage lockdowns and tougher measures to combat the spread by failing to even push for a federal “wage-recovery” program to give people an incentive to stay home and follow guidelines, but instead decided to gaslight and call preventive measures communist or some other buzz word until he could convince people of how evil his oppositions was. Once again, to be fair, most of Congress didn’t push for such a program either, but as the figurehead and leader of the US he bears a responsibility to be the leading manager and cool head in a crisis such as the pandemic. Sadly, he took an adversarial approach to try to offset his mistake of acting too late by making COVID all the fault of his electoral challengers. Again, we likely measure by a different standards, but I don’t think Trump is anywhere near your above-average president. And I won’t defend Biden, I think he’s garbage too so I’ll definitely give you that.
@@mattsunshine9252 ok imma be straight, I wasn't prepared for a discussion with a being capable of higher primate level thought. This is TH-cam, throw some poop already.
"During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years." 👀👀👀
@@maxking3148 i love how you say that like its an insult rather than you just stating a fact... you really hurt biden supporters feelings when you... call them a biden supporter?
@@maxking3148 Imagine voting for the man that have 200 000+ deaths on his doorstep? It would be like still being with the pharaoh after his people died`of sicknesses.....the fck is wrong with you
You can quote me all you want, doesn't change the fact that it isn't cool to like Trump lol. Being a leftist is what "fitting in" is nowadays. Keep acting like it's your choice, though, friendo.
@@Barrobroadcastmaster It’s a magical ark to people who are in his voter base, because regardless of how damaging the policies might wind up being, to his voters they seem like good ideas, putting political biases aside Biden as many of us predicted hasn’t fulfilled a single campaign promise and again as many of us predicted is using his time in office to create further distant in the wealth gap between the top 1% and the rest of us, all the while he’s lining his pocket as he sells the American people up the river…
@@downstream0114 There is no savior besides ourselves. We have to get ourselves out of this. It is unlikely, but our only hope is for leftism to prevail.
@@NepetaLeijon and the many times they were photographed together and the times they talked about knowing each other and the appearances of trump in Epsteins flight lands logs
"Mitt Romney just didn't get me fired up enough to vote... but that sphere of anger _really_ speaks to me. Usually through my television, or in my nightmares. ...It's got me buildin' this _hive..."_
Interestingly, the Orb ended up picking Dark Ominous Cloud of Homophobia rather than Dark Ominous Cloud of Racism as its running mate. The former has been around for less time, but maybe has more appeal?
I'm getting these early reports from local polls that indicate Ominous Cloud of Homophobia reportedly helped to actively decrease democratic voter turnout. I say The Orb of Rage made a spectacular decision by picking this candidate as running mate.
Turns out the dark ominous cloud of racism was selected as attorney general for a time, while the Noxious Fumes of Homophobia was nominated for VP instead.
@@jmasters7515 kek, have you ever been on the site? It's basically a shitshow of everyone constantly disagreeing and mocking each other for their political opinions
It also stood faithful to its expressed desire to destroy human life by racing towards climate disaster and failing to protect more than 200.000 Americans from Covid death.
@@davidwright7193 y would i have a psychiatrist? I'm a perfectly sane human being unlike Joe Biden. Im guessin you havent seen all the video evidence, and the statistical impossibilities. cnn dont show u that. th-cam.com/video/WGRnhBmHYN0/w-d-xo.html what have u got to say to that huh?
@@benedictringer296 you need a psychiatrist because of the delusions you are suffering from. These include but are not limited to the belief that something untoward happened during this election.
@@RB-mm7ce well you can't deny he's orange. Look at his Twitter and tell me him raging about election fraud is not screaming on the internet. Feeds off of conservative's fear that the centrist biden is a communist and the anger towards him from the left.
I remember when this came out. I thought it was way too silly and over the top for the Onion. Didn't think it was funny or clever at all. I stand corrected.
The satire is a mockery of supporters of the losing political party, turn on your TV and let me know what politics you think the people burning down buildings and destroying deer statues have. Satire is a mirror of reality, not a screen for you to project onto.
So the question is: Is the Onion merely prophetic, or do they actually write the future. Are they merely powerless observers doomed to knowledge they can't properly share. Or are they Gods that decide the fate of humanity for their own satirical purposes?
I'll answer it in the most plausible way I can: Time has a sick sense of humor and likes fucking up history whenever it could. The more ridiculous something is, the higher chances of it happening. The funnier it is, the higher the chances of it happening. So in the end, watching a lot of idiots screech after being smug for 8 years is the canon timeline it chose because it's an old tried and tested joke of Humbleness. Best part? The ones being punished haven't learned anything so it keeps getting worse for them. And time and time again, as long as their arrogance blind them from reality, they'll always end up predictably the joke of this currently timeline in reality.
Woah what!??? He wants to buy something that has been attempted to be bought by the US multiple times throughout history because of it's immense strategic and economic value???????? What a stupid thing for him to want!
Ino did you know it's not 1803 and cant be buying random pieces of land without consequences, what happened to Puerto Rico and Hawaii? one of them is going to shit and the other one doesnt like Americans coming to their island. America needs to take care of it's people before getting in more debt.
Only thing that's wrong is that they called it young. It also seems to have a firmer grasp on the English language. Finally, its running mate was the horrible lurking fog of racism, the real version chose the horrible lurking fog of homophobia.
It was funny when this was sort-of prophetic, but it's just getting more accurate over time. This even predicted the mass resignations. "It will do better than I ever could. Nowhere to run. Leave me to my end, I am worthless."
not to mention the “it owns us” could also be seen as describing how almost all republican politicians fell in line after trump got elected, to the point where those who spoke out against him got cancelled by the GOP (adam kinzinger & liz cheney, anyone?)
@@Jamie-zl6mw usa commie never seen the true meaning of taxes. Im from Canada and have shitty services hope you love losing 50% of your incoming for shit nothing
Yes, I've watched so many videos from the Onion, get recommended them all the time for years, and yet I have never seen this before today. and it's perfect
Hannibus 42 nah, trump was the embodiment of hatred for the democratic party and the establishment, its why he won. Hillary is what fueled that flame, along with bernie and all the democrat goons
So prophetic. Dear time travelers seeing this after 2020, please note: This was SUPPOSED to be a joke. All of the Onion articles are supposed to be jokes. The horrible, horrible future that came afterwards was just a coincidence.
It was practically prescient how The Onion managed to predict the 2016 GOP candidate being a ball (tRump's shape) of hate (also describes tRump's view of minorities, women, and 'others').
@@xaiano794 bruh, the Democrats screamed Russia for 4 years even after the Muller report confirmed no wrong doing, they went after Michael Flynn to get him fired, this definitely describes the Democrats
@@Cemtexify You seem to be lacking in facts, the Mueller report resulted in 7 jail sentences of Trump's team, flynn pleaded guilty and the DOJ under barr has only declined to prosecute flynn, they haven't 'found him innocent'
![[안방1열 직캠4K] 베이비몬스터 치키타 'DRIP' (BABYMONSTER CHIQUITA FanCam) @SBS Inkigayo 241110](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tnlxo79cAqY/mqdefault.jpg)
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.15 (2/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qbHbshrA1f0/mqdefault.jpg)
i would just like to note to future historians that this was, at the time, intended as a joke.
No it wasn't, it was clairvoyance utilizing humor to enlighten the masses
it was a prophecy*
The Onion writes reality into existence.
It was the messiah
Touched by Homer Simpson, lord of predictions.
The Onion doesnt do new videos because the writers got promoted. They now write for reality itself.
That worryingly explain a lots of things.
"Truth is stranger than fiction"-Mark Twain
Hired by a god with a sick sense of humour?
They were burned at a cross because they made their stories come to life through dark magic
Nice try, Mr. Truman.
This video aged like fine wine.
Oh my! They got it so right back in 2012!
More like hemlock...
How?
Sam Shaw The GOP elected one of the most incompetent presidents in our history because we had the audacity to elect a black man.
Emma Skovgård Oh my god, finally, somebody actually doesn’t treat politics like a sport. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone not care who the candidate was as long as they were a democrat/republican.
The Onion is unironically that trope of "the person who is writing a book and realizes whatever they write comes true". It's literally hundreds of things at this point.
Please, spare us, Onion overlords. Write us a nice chapter.
But cynicism is so much fun!
Just remember, somewhere in America, some underpaid line cook in a mall food court made the world's most perfect cinnamon roll, too beautiful for this world. And that's enough to get me through the bad times
@@wolight that underpaid cook has made that beautiful cinnamon roll, too beautiful for this world, and you can't eat it. That, in itself is enough to keep me miserable.
No, that’s not quite it. It’s just that we’re following a path that satirists have found very easy to predict, simply due to the fact that we HAVEN’T BOTHERED TO FIX A SINGLE PRESSING PROBLEM SINCE THE FRIGGIN BUSH ADMINISTRATION!!!
Apollo cursed them with the gift of prophecy
The only thing they got wrong was saying that the sphere is "young"
They mean it's brain age
And that it would announce its run no earlier than christmas 2015.
@@vacuousbard6410 Minumum age to be the president - 35 years. Funny joke you got there
Compared to a mountain, a tree is considered young.
He’s “young” in politics
"History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as an Onion article, then as tragedy again." - Karl Marx
"Not every quote you read on the internet is true" -Abraham Lincolnn
@@nicholassixbury7999 "... one would like to be funny and historically correct, of course, but because it is difficult to combine them, it is better to be funny than right." - Niccolo Machiavelli
@@blufie-films "To be like the sun you first have to burn like it."
-Adolf Hitler
@@jonathanrodriguez5577 "Oh hey guys, what did I miss?" -John F Kennedy
@@stargarden2577 Joe mama - Martin Luther King Jr.
"Hillary Clinton announces she has 'not rules out' 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size." This was made in 2012?
Hillary Clinton was hated for years before she ran for president.
Which is why it’s so surprising people voted for her in the primary, thinking she had a major chance at winning. Doubly surprising was that she still actually won the popular vote.
@@vidblogger12 Most people just wanted Trump away from the presidency, evident by how we voted Biden in, he's nowhere remotely close to as internationally despised as the Clintons.
@@OpusTheLeftie Well yeah the media covered for Clinton as much as they could. Same with Biden.
@@vidblogger12 i know "it was rigged mannn" is a meme or w/e, but the party has no obligation to make the primaries democratic, and have a lot of tricks up their sleeve which they've been running for decades.
in keeping with the theme of "republicans blatantly doing the things democrats subtly do", for 2020 the republicans cancelled primaries completely, while the democrats just flooded the field with a million indistinguishable candidates, bought their endorsement for biden at the last minute to consolidate their wealthier voters, and sabotaged the voting system for their poorer ones, with the fairly obvious goal of preventing a sanders win
@Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in fact, I don't think you're allowed to challenge the incumbent of your own party under most conditions. Don't quote me on that though
"Hillary Clinton announces she has "not ruled out" 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size."
This line really got me. That is downright disturbing.
It's almost like they knew all the way back in 2012 that she was _not_ going to give up after '08, and the enthusiasm for her running was far stronger in the "against" camp.
Basically, it was one time when the politicians were _too_ transparent. But yes, **surprised_pikachu_face.jpg**
2:27 Hillary Clinton announces she has "not ruled out" 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size.
The prophecy...
Dear gosh
I live under a rock guys. Can you please explain?
Chona Castillo this was made in 2012, and Hilary ending up actually running in 2016 against trump, who the sphere of pure rage represents in the jokes.
@@chonacastillo4777 this video was made FOUR YEARS before Donald Trump was elected president
@Spoon Fed correct.
Jesus Christ, watching this in 2020 is a trip and a half
Last half of the second trip got COVID-19
Ikr
@AsrielKekker no u
@AsrielKekker not once in the history of humanity has someone changed someone else's mind by telling them to shut up.
I'm my opinion, the best way to convince someone of something is to show them the marits of your argument. Unfortunately, trump has none.
The first time I read your comment I thought you said Jesus himself was watching this in 2020 and getting tips from it.
The youtube algorithm has a sense of humor.
I see that a wild oz has appeared in the comments
I think it just had a crack overdose
Indeed
All bless the algorithm
Thank you Oz. Very cool.
The reason they stopped making these is because they became too powerful.
Every article they Made Made every other article more likely to become real.
Its good they Stopper producing this series or we would all be destroyed
They become prophecies
I'm not laughing anymore.
You're doing it wrong, then.
Red Asylum amen
Red Asylum your not the only one. hasn't been funny for a while now.
I am, lol
Red Asylum --- Not even the states and I'm not laughing anymore either.
I bow before you, oh multi-layered prophet of satire
Shrek?
@@abdicolestudios8899 Cake?
“Prophets of satire” accurate
They accept unblighted livestock, Virgin blood, firstborn children, and MasterCard.
Layers through time
To all those who compare this piece of satire to Donald Trump, just stop.
No way a moderate like the Sphere of Pure Rage would fit in the Republican Party.
I really think you're not being open minded enough here. This could be a new direction for the Republican party. I really think that the base has been waiting for a candidate like sphere of rage for awhile now and simply hasn't seen a candidate that really exemplifies the core sentiments of the party like this.
@@werewolf4358 Sphere of Rage 2020. Make america burn again!
I love all of you
Trump doesn't seem all that angry to me. So I don't really get this joke.
@@theuncalledfor except for this dumbass
"It feeds off fear and terror, it's no wonder conservatives are raving about it"
Honestly all political parties feed off of fear and terror.
@@andrewjennings7306 its especially true for GOP tho, since many of them are dreaming of WW3 with china. I'm not even making this shit up.
@@andrewjennings7306 sorry but that sounds like a really stupid take
No, it's a fact. Partisan politics were a mistake and Washington was a prophet for fearing their effects on the US.
@@backpackpepelon3867That aged pretty bad didn't it?
This aged really well, it’s even orange
Aged like cheddar
They even predicted Bernie Sanders at the end: "Joe Biden, Martin O'Malley, and the magical arc of empty promises"
Hillary Clinton announces she has 'not ruled out' 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size.
Yeah holy shit. Nailed it
@@CRClark1138 since when was bernie a magical arc of empty promises?
"Hillary Clinton announces she has not ruled out 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size." Hahahahahaah!
I laughed so hard at that by line...
Libya is in ruins, and slaves are openly sold. Trump has a lot to answer for wait what? Oh it was Hillz then it must´ve been for the greater good and not because Gaddafi wanted to create a gold-based new currency for oil trade. Got it. Thanks, CNN.
Marc Tradler
Sir, this is a McDonalds.
@@xMOSEScb There´s far better toilets than those at a McDonalds but if you have to take that dump well just do it.
Hahaha She did run! And she LOST to Donald Trump!! Hahahahah!
HOW. HOW DID THEY KNOW.
They took an offhand glance at human history and realized that we will always, ALWAYS make the worst possible decision in any given situation.
It's impossible to know if it's the worst decision. We only have the decision we made. However, even Bernie said creating a no-fly zone over Syria would start WW3 and that's what Hillary wanted. So by voting for Trump, I stopped World War 3. You're welcome. I'm a registered Democrat and the left has lost my vote.
>I stopped World War 3
I didn't know they had wifi in the nut house.
333rd like
@@Milkbutter
I can't take you seriously with that profile picture.
Wow, I can’t believe they basically predicted Trump
*waves back from 2019*
The onion really is prophetic.
Ow
Sad but truly funny
Real life is an Onion video now
It’s like the article they wrote when Dubya was elected.
Bush: “Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over.”
@@evilsharkey8954 it's the only way they see to beat globalists, by aligning with corruption influences on the Democratic process. These influences seek to return to imperialistic economies enforcing a lower cost of living in affected places so the imperialist can enforce a high valuation of their fiat currency. People like Trump and Putin are seeking global financial control. Control what's indispensable and you rule the world. Worse global economy is worth the cost to them.
"110 year old black woman never thought she'd be so indifferent about re-electing a black president"
"Orb against wasteful spending. Favors human extinction"
I just... what even is life anymore?
The god(s) and Angel's are real and have a sense of humor?
It's even more true now after the pandemic. Lol.
Black hole against wastful spending
black shadow you're manic lol
@@ALotOfCancer imagine being in that mental state lol sad
2012: Haha Funny!
2020: Onion time travelers have been mocking us....
There's an election Evey 4 years no one predicted anything
@@mrtuvok5578 he was not talking about when the election will happen
@@chhayvoreakrotn952 you know nouthing politics dou
Y e s
It's all in the same timeline. The Democrats were beginning to say this kind of overblown rhetoric about Republicans in 2008, and the media loves to exaggerate it. The Onion takes it to the absurd extreme, and 2020 is the absurd extreme.
The feedback loop of exaggerated rhetoric has reached criticality.
1:44 “110 year old black woman never thought she would be indifferent re-rlecting a black man”
That is fucking stellar
And it's a reference to an actual 106-year-old black woman who cast her final presidential vote for Obama in 2008 who Obama talked about in his Grant Park victory speech
"If the Republicans want this thing they are going to have to find a way to trap it, communicate with it, steer it in the right direction." oh my. I thought for sure this was a satire of Trump until I saw the comments.
The comments or the date? though the virgin sacrifice seems too much on point
@@0Clewi0 I saw the comments and figured out the date from that.
Yet another future prediction by the Onion
Prophetic
It's just a satire of politics
“Hillary Clinton announces she has “not ruled out” 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size.”
2:27 for reference
No matter what happens, Hillary will never be president and that truly warms my heart in these dark times.
@Zach yup, the only reason to dislike hillary = is woman
@@DevanK-rg3td Or the fact she's an ancient out of touch neoliberal that voted for the Iraq war with a homophobic track record, but we can go with the woman thing. Biden is basically just a mirrored version of Hillary but we can replace homophobia with racial injustice.
These are D tier picks. We need to stop throwing with these shit-tier candidates.
@@jubbin4849 ok
LOL. Hillary Clinton announces she has "not ruled out" 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size.
thatsnotagoodidea Must be all those Big Macs
you mean, the Magical Ark of Empty Promises.
thatsnotagoodidea you posted this in 2017 you idiot?!? She had already announced her run lmao wtf
The racew was already over
matthew sivier It was a quote from the video
Isn't anyone going to talk about the "dark ominous cloud of racism"?
Didn't you get the memo? We pretend it doesn't exist
And it is “experienced in the party
This was a literal prophecy
I mean some of it escaped idk man, but we don't talk about it lest the Illuminati on hire kidnap us and feed us to it.
Historically, no we are not
@@MatthewMurraycogswoth It's a pity this is buried under another comment because that's the funniest comment I've read in a long tome.
forget simpsons predicting stuff. just look at onion. it even got Joe biden as the dem nominee
Gator Pack55 oh my god
where did it mention Biden?
Mr Haaris at the very end, they said early dem 2016 front runners included Joe Biden, Martin O’Malley, and the magical art of empty promises.
Granted Joe Biden was VP at the time predicting he’d be a candidate in the near future is a slam dunk
@@52flyingbicycles ahh yeah. When I heard it the first time, that part must of skipped me.
Thanks
@@52flyingbicycles Additionally, Biden had previously campaigned for presidency twice, so him attempting a third "times the charm" run wouldn't have been too hard to predict.
The orb and cloud on the other hand...
White Hot Sphere of Rage's motto:
"Why choose the lesser evil?"
Diablo: "I am the prime evil!"
Bezzdor then can I be the secondary evil?
bloodstone ore idk, nobody wants a secondary tier of evil. I mean look at Prime rib, everyone wants that.
Darth Mortus stolen from cthulu smh
@@comedyman4896 Though actually this thing is a Lovecraftian entity too: Cthugha the Burning One.
It’s 2020 and this isn’t funny anymore. It’s a historical documentary.
Its amazing. Also highlights the horseshoe law, in 2020 Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage is basically twitter's collective consciousness.
You're right, it's not funny is hilarious
Try reading: _Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over_
Not true Biden is running for president and his VP is Kamala. Not to mention they're supported by the left.
@@seankrkovich2869 what do you mean “is running”... he won. The election is over
2024. So grows the orb.
“Sphere leads nursing home victims into field, explodes them.”
Holy shit whoever wrote this script needs to give me lottery numbers right now.
The sphere is trump, not Cuomo
@@waldoman7 I meant Trump lol, he is still very responsible for the deaths of many elder citizens and COVID handling mishaps, but the Cuomo thing fits in well too ig
@@mattsunshine9252 yeah areas of covid management were probably his weakest moment as a president in terms of action/non-action, (or maybe the weak response to the capitol riots was) but while our case numbers were quite high our death per case rate was extremely low, and he had that vaccine developed right on the schedule that he'd promised and been mocked or even called a liar for. So, I mean, we all know he's a piece of shit, but measured by actual results he's a better than average president even at his worst.
Of course he can't beat Biden, who had case numbers plummeting the day after his inauguration by bravely allowing them to change testing standards to require double positive tests, and asking some people to not even come in for testing.
@@waldoman7 maybe we measure by different standards, but I think the enormous corporate tax cuts and obliteration of Somalia were among his weakest points, but as far as COVID goes the little success we did have was due to local regulations and not federal help, as Trump and, in fairness, the rest of Washington simply bickered over who did what and who was the bad guy while our population and middle-lower class economy sputtered. Trump also missed out on a major opportunity to encourage lockdowns and tougher measures to combat the spread by failing to even push for a federal “wage-recovery” program to give people an incentive to stay home and follow guidelines, but instead decided to gaslight and call preventive measures communist or some other buzz word until he could convince people of how evil his oppositions was. Once again, to be fair, most of Congress didn’t push for such a program either, but as the figurehead and leader of the US he bears a responsibility to be the leading manager and cool head in a crisis such as the pandemic. Sadly, he took an adversarial approach to try to offset his mistake of acting too late by making COVID all the fault of his electoral challengers.
Again, we likely measure by a different standards, but I don’t think Trump is anywhere near your above-average president. And I won’t defend Biden, I think he’s garbage too so I’ll definitely give you that.
@@mattsunshine9252 ok imma be straight, I wasn't prepared for a discussion with a being capable of higher primate level thought. This is TH-cam, throw some poop already.
This is horribly prophetic, but not as mind-shattering as „Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over“ from January 2001.
Do you have a link to where I can find that one?
@@Sara3346 politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882/amp
@@Sara3346 politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882
"During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years."
👀👀👀
@@ebolapie it‘s so accurate that I wonder if they wrote it after the fact
This video was made in 2012?!?!?!??!?!?! The ball is even ORANGE.
"Magical ark of empty promises" they predicted Bernie, too.
It's their fucking wormhole satellite
and white
"Wait fire is orange, Trump has orange skin, therefore this is predicting trump."
@@Barrobroadcastmaster that's clearly Hilllary
"It just repeated f****s with a deafening pitch for hours and hours" Omfg I'm dying
🚫🏳🌈
WTF onion, you're supposed to be satire, not predicting the future.
Have you ever heard of Cromniomancy?
enlighten us
Cromniomancy is the practice of predicting the future with onions.
Omg
any one of us oh no
This was a joke, it wasn’t supposed to be a prophecy
Shut up Biden supporter
@@maxking3148 i love how you say that like its an insult rather than you just stating a fact... you really hurt biden supporters feelings when you... call them a biden supporter?
Reality tends to imitate fiction.
@@maxking3148 Imagine voting for the man that have 200 000+ deaths on his doorstep? It would be like still being with the pharaoh after his people died`of sicknesses.....the fck is wrong with you
@@maxking3148 imagine loosing the election.
It's like Trump, but with a more reasonable domestic policy.
>Implying you know anything about his domestic policy
Brank Burk doesn't that imply they you also do to?
"bahaha. oh boy, i hope everyone likes me now that i think blumpf is dum xpppp" Lefties are so simple nowadays.
You can quote me all you want, doesn't change the fact that it isn't cool to like Trump lol. Being a leftist is what "fitting in" is nowadays. Keep acting like it's your choice, though, friendo.
Mildly Amusing Channel does he have a domestic policy at all?
Honestly “the magical ark of empty promises” is just as prolific in 2022 as “the white hot sphere and looming cloud of racism” was in 2016
Looming cloud of racism and sphere of anger have returned
@@vyros.3234 it never left, that’s why it’s looming
More like Confused, Feely Ark of Bad Ideas.
@@Barrobroadcastmaster It’s a magical ark to people who are in his voter base, because regardless of how damaging the policies might wind up being, to his voters they seem like good ideas, putting political biases aside Biden as many of us predicted hasn’t fulfilled a single campaign promise and again as many of us predicted is using his time in office to create further distant in the wealth gap between the top 1% and the rest of us, all the while he’s lining his pocket as he sells the American people up the river…
@@ajjennings7511 Desperation is quite a stinky scent and it's all over the Joetato.
This is so prophetic it’s actually disturbing.
Try reading: _Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over_
@@downstream0114 Don't ever recommend it again. Just read it and it's caused me to fall into temp despair
@@SnakeTheHat It creeps me out.
@@downstream0114 man that is grim, Clinton predicting the national debt could be paid off by 2012...
@@downstream0114 There is no savior besides ourselves. We have to get ourselves out of this. It is unlikely, but our only hope is for leftism to prevail.
“Some conservative leaders have already begun offering sacrifices of virgins and livestock”
Pictured: Conservative leaders and livestock
Honestly, the way I interpreted that line is the Onion somehow also predicting Trumps ties with Jeffrey Epstein.
@@MrARCN7 well that information was never a very well kept secret
@@MrARCN7 There are no ties between him outside of them both having been billionaires in manhattan lol
that is the joke
@@NepetaLeijon and the many times they were photographed together and the times they talked about knowing each other and the appearances of trump in Epsteins flight lands logs
Onion predicts the future by understanding that we humans never really bother to fix or solve anything
Damn... u right... 😞😔
Im lookin at you human person...
I think you americans
"Mitt Romney just didn't get me fired up enough to vote... but that sphere of anger _really_ speaks to me. Usually through my television, or in my nightmares. ...It's got me buildin' this _hive..."_
2:30 "and the magical art of empty promises."
I don't like just how true that statement is
She clesrly says "magical ark", and thats the only thing I'm disagreeing with.
No no no, she definitely says arc
No it arck
Like rack and clock.
@@FullFlameAlchemist11 Video's 100% spot on as far as I can tell.
We gotta stop voting for the ark lol
1:12 Everyone gangsta till 4chan itself physically manifests as the next presidential candidate
@Donald Trump They'd fight for votes against reddit.
Nah, the physical manifestation of 4chan would be Adolf Hitler wearing The God-Emperor of Mankind's armor.
Righhhtt
@@suckonfatman6027 gr8 b8 m8
Suckon Fatman that sounds dangerous does he have the God emperors powers to
Not only was this prophetic, it counts TWICE.
"Romney now free to get back into modeling for stock photos of golfers."
I AM UNABLE TO CAN BREATHE PLEASE HELP-
At 0:26
It's godlike
They’re literally too powerful.
Interestingly, the Orb ended up picking Dark Ominous Cloud of Homophobia rather than Dark Ominous Cloud of Racism as its running mate. The former has been around for less time, but maybe has more appeal?
I'm getting these early reports from local polls that indicate Ominous Cloud of Homophobia reportedly helped to actively decrease democratic voter turnout. I say The Orb of Rage made a spectacular decision by picking this candidate as running mate.
Turns out the dark ominous cloud of racism was selected as attorney general for a time, while the Noxious Fumes of Homophobia was nominated for VP instead.
@@utubrGaming Report's just in, the Dark Ominous Cloud of Racism WAS the Orb!
The Dark Ominous Cloud of racism because Senate leader instead.
This just in: No one is sure what the Dark Ominous Cloud of Racism is doing now.
At this point the writers of onion would be scared of writing satire.
Underrated comment
Because it might get mistaken for some of the actual nope going on right now.
@@Attaxalotl actually I was trying to imply that what they write ends up happening...
@@AdityaPrasad007 That too.
wow. this is very... prophetic.
This was made as a joke..... now we're worrying about Shrieking White-Hot Sphere of Pure Rage's second term.
Welp
"Second term secured, Obama shows Americans cool sword he's had for a while."
Sounds like a /pol/ singularity.
Oh god.
Ah yes the true political geniuses who all have the exact same political opinions
@@jmasters7515 imagine actually believing this
@@jmasters7515 kek, have you ever been on the site? It's basically a shitshow of everyone constantly disagreeing and mocking each other for their political opinions
Isn't /pol/ a reflection of politics? Like, all politics?
Update: sphere of pure rage unconcerned with fancy new SARS-like virus, calls it "about time".
Update: Specifically, it stated it was "overdue."
To be fair the the 2016 winner was round and orange like that sphere
In retrospect, this might be the greatest Onion video ever.
The sphere is now exploding with fury after failing to win a second term.
It also stood faithful to its expressed desire to destroy human life by racing towards climate disaster and failing to protect more than 200.000 Americans from Covid death.
More like getting the election stolen from him, while the courts do nothing, and the msm and dems r in on it. Tbh if i were him, i'd be mad too.
@@benedictringer296 does your psychiatrist know you are able to post on TH-cam?
@@davidwright7193 y would i have a psychiatrist? I'm a perfectly sane human being unlike Joe Biden. Im guessin you havent seen all the video evidence, and the statistical impossibilities. cnn dont show u that.
th-cam.com/video/WGRnhBmHYN0/w-d-xo.html
what have u got to say to that huh?
@@benedictringer296 you need a psychiatrist because of the delusions you are suffering from. These include but are not limited to the belief that something untoward happened during this election.
New Headline: “Supporters surprised at how angry and destructive the shrieking ball of rage is”
Supporters: "A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one."
Update on the ongoing shrieking ball scandal: ball hasn’t paid taxes since 294 BC. Lawyers pending?
"supporters lament that they thought the sphere would only attack those that they didn't like"
No better metaphor for what became the GOP under Trump, an ever growing orb of irrational rage. 😡
Donald Trump:
* Orange
* Screaming
* Feeds off fear and terror
Pick one?
@@RB-mm7ce unfortunately all of them
@@christianjunegregorio3053 well, that is simply not true
@@RB-mm7ce well you can't deny he's orange. Look at his Twitter and tell me him raging about election fraud is not screaming on the internet. Feeds off of conservative's fear that the centrist biden is a communist and the anger towards him from the left.
@Deathtrooper204 Yeah, Trump trying to steal and election, did you see all the mail in vote that were stolen and filled out for Trump lol.
I remember when this came out. I thought it was way too silly and over the top for the Onion. Didn't think it was funny or clever at all.
I stand corrected.
That's true,it's a good joke
The Onion: Shrieking White-Hot Sphere GOP Front-Runner for 2016
Reality: Shrieking Orange-Hot Sphere GOP Front-Runner for 2016
In fairness it is actually more orange than white in the pictures they showed.
It's actually accurate: Trumps is white outside of the fake tan.
@@ArthurWolf Correction he is white inside the fake tan.
@@EnterSailor Correction: He's white and orange at the same time both inside and outside his fake tan
The satire is a mockery of supporters of the losing political party, turn on your TV and let me know what politics you think the people burning down buildings and destroying deer statues have.
Satire is a mirror of reality, not a screen for you to project onto.
Not only did it succeed in 2016, but 2024 too ;(
:3
It both sad yet hilarious how perfectly this skit describes Trump. They even got the color right.
even the racism
Except the "young" part, for the rest. Just sublime.
@@Th3Arbiter666 "feeds off fear and terror" tbh. that's been every president.
And all the Trumpism and Qanon-shit following afterwards. "It got me building a hive".
@@Th3Arbiter666 the ball is orange, they describe it as white hot.
Just found this again, I remember it being really funny.
It isn't funny any more.
E I G H T Y E A R S
They even predicted Mike Pence.
Eighty? That's FAR too many ears for any living being.
It's still hilarious.
TheForgettableMan no it's extra funny now cause our president is like that tbh and he's doing a great job
it's trump oh my god. How did you guys predict this?
No, it's the anti-Trump protesters.
Literally saying "no u" does not constitute a valid arguement
well, it's either that or they use the "whoever smelt it dealt it" argument
Trump would be more a petulant ball of bullshit
They said "white-hot," not "orange-hot"
Oh this aged like fine wine.
So the question is: Is the Onion merely prophetic, or do they actually write the future. Are they merely powerless observers doomed to knowledge they can't properly share. Or are they Gods that decide the fate of humanity for their own satirical purposes?
I'll answer it in the most plausible way I can: Time has a sick sense of humor and likes fucking up history whenever it could. The more ridiculous something is, the higher chances of it happening. The funnier it is, the higher the chances of it happening. So in the end, watching a lot of idiots screech after being smug for 8 years is the canon timeline it chose because it's an old tried and tested joke of Humbleness.
Best part? The ones being punished haven't learned anything so it keeps getting worse for them.
And time and time again, as long as their arrogance blind them from reality, they'll always end up predictably the joke of this currently timeline in reality.
I think the answer is yes
They have a sense of "let's fuck with these pathetic humans" about them, so I'd say they create the future, they are gods and us their amusement
@@ShadowLynx777 Like and subscribe to appease the gods?
@@StaryExtra you got lickspittle hanging there, bootlicker
Since you guys are so prophetic can you "joke" about solving climate change so it can actually happen
-novideo-
They don't cause these things to happen, they just predict them.
Climate change IS happening.
@@spongeintheshoe r/woooosh
@@z-form2559 He said he wanted _solving_ climate change to actually happen.
"Romney now free to get back into modeling for stock photos of golfers." -Still Ahead sub line.
Nice one, Onion News. :D
Looks like the ball of rage won last night
They tried to warn us.
The fact that this was made 8 years ago in 2012 just boggles my mind
We're living in a punchline
Flying Skyward 2020 has been putting the punch in punchline 😞
Update: The shrieking whit-hot sphere of pure rage now wants to buy Greenland.
Woah what!??? He wants to buy something that has been attempted to be bought by the US multiple times throughout history because of it's immense strategic and economic value???????? What a stupid thing for him to want!
?
Did you know: Thomas Jefferson purchased Louisiana from France in 1803?
Ino did you know it's not 1803 and cant be buying random pieces of land without consequences, what happened to Puerto Rico and Hawaii? one of them is going to shit and the other one doesnt like Americans coming to their island. America needs to take care of it's people before getting in more debt.
@@divineengine547 He wanted to buy a fucking country, from Demnmark, which cant even legally sell it.
Another incredible prediction that people seem to miss 2:30 is that Martin O'Malley actually DID run in 2016
It’s surreal how accurate this was. Shrieking? Check. Orange? Check. Ball-like? Check.
Only thing that's wrong is that they called it young. It also seems to have a firmer grasp on the English language. Finally, its running mate was the horrible lurking fog of racism, the real version chose the horrible lurking fog of homophobia.
Veladus. I always forget, that was his nickname in Indiana.
Don't forget the ticker at the bottom.
Hilary client announces she has "not ruled out" 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size.
Fuck off you twats, TRUMP 2020
@@PwnZombie knew I'd find a triggered snowflake here
We thought this was a joke in 2012 and then 2016 happened, followed up with a crazy first week of 2021
That is gospel truth. Trump is the backlash by the hateful racist 40%.
Giant orange and his running man 'dark ominous cloud of racism'.
My god. 😲 😂
i mean it’s not wrong
It was funny when this was sort-of prophetic, but it's just getting more accurate over time. This even predicted the mass resignations.
"It will do better than I ever could. Nowhere to run. Leave me to my end, I am worthless."
not to mention the “it owns us” could also be seen as describing how almost all republican politicians fell in line after trump got elected, to the point where those who spoke out against him got cancelled by the GOP (adam kinzinger & liz cheney, anyone?)
Fuck, it's even orange...
1:57 I love the casual "so grows the orb" thrown in there
Absolutely sickened at the accuracy of this video.
Well done.
I cannot believe how fucking accurate this is.
So grows the orb.
Hillary Clinton announces she has "not ruled out" 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size.
Get out and vote!
BERNIE 2020!!!
pokemon go to the polls
@@Jamie-zl6mw usa commie never seen the true meaning of taxes. Im from Canada and have shitty services hope you love losing 50% of your incoming for shit nothing
dark samus Never going to happen. Giant ball of rage 2020
"Senator Richard Burr has resigned his seat in the Senate."
If only.
Casimir Paul ironic given what’s recently happened with him.
But they did predict that the GOP would bow to the Orb
Well well well, guess who's back.
This suddenly appeared. I'm confused
Yes, I've watched so many videos from the Onion, get recommended them all the time for years, and yet I have never seen this before today. and it's perfect
Don't be, this is a prophetic work of art
Cringe.
@@Samuel-oh3hm no u
It was always there ... waiting ... watching.
Oh dear god the onion predicted trump
And the democratic race there at the end.
And fucking Pence
Haha blormp destroyed epic style
Its orange too!
So, here we are - it's 2016, and the Onion turns out to be 100% accurate once more
+Paul Zuk
Amazingly, the Orb and cloud merged to become the republican nominee.
Paul Zuk
Yep, only it turns out the orb of rage waz a democratic; and thankfully she lost!
Hannibus 42 nah, trump was the embodiment of hatred for the democratic party and the establishment, its why he won.
Hillary is what fueled that flame, along with bernie and all the democrat goons
Maybe eventually the democrats will think twice about angering anyone with two neurons to rub together.
@@hannibustoogfyrre6074 no, she was the arc of empty promises
How true...except the sphere is more orange than red.
"Kamala just didn't get me fired up enough to vote. But that Sphere of Anger really speaks to me"
So prophetic.
Dear time travelers seeing this after 2020, please note: This was SUPPOSED to be a joke. All of the Onion articles are supposed to be jokes. The horrible, horrible future that came afterwards was just a coincidence.
If it keeps happening, we can't keep calling it coincidence.
They appear to be predicting the future, but are really just taking logical premises to their logical conclusions.
It is destiny, not conincidence.
It was practically prescient how The Onion managed to predict the 2016 GOP candidate being a ball (tRump's shape) of hate (also describes tRump's view of minorities, women, and 'others').
Or it was all a simulation with clues leading to what was prophecized
For the record, that front runner looks strikingly similar to an Orange Cheeseball.
Here from the future. We met the sphere. He already had one term.
I'm from your future. I have .... news
Onion; makes an article that is highly fictitious.
Reality; bet.
"It's like poetry, it rhymes."
"Orb against wasteful spending. Favors human extinction"
This just gets more and more accurate as the trump presidency drags on.
Watching as the votes come in, think we’re headed for civil war... again, so accurate
Exactly. The orb switched sides to being a Democrat after the Trump victory but it’s about to switch sides again
@@FireRayquaza24 lol you're so fragile, what a little snowflake you are.
@@xaiano794 bruh, the Democrats screamed Russia for 4 years even after the Muller report confirmed no wrong doing, they went after Michael Flynn to get him fired, this definitely describes the Democrats
@@Cemtexify You seem to be lacking in facts, the Mueller report resulted in 7 jail sentences of Trump's team, flynn pleaded guilty and the DOJ under barr has only declined to prosecute flynn, they haven't 'found him innocent'
And the sphere coalesced into a human form, put on a wig and became Trump