The Onion's Future News From The Year 2137

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 9K

  • @dannya1854
    @dannya1854 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16039

    This was the peak of The Onion's funding and it shows.

    • @WeeWeeJumbo
      @WeeWeeJumbo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +856

      Exactly. This is precious because we will never see anything like it again

    • @Jamesgames62522
      @Jamesgames62522 3 ปีที่แล้ว +176

      7-11 was the peak of its shows

    • @ericcloud1023
      @ericcloud1023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +385

      @@Jamesgames62522 yes..... The onion doesn't upload "news report" videos anymore. Idk about their homepage though, but on YT it's just podcasts. Also the shit-ton of green-screen editing, graphic work, and animation is unsurpassed by any of their other work

    • @googleuser9383
      @googleuser9383 3 ปีที่แล้ว +123

      It's a guess,
      but I assume that the PC culture ruined ad revenue for the Onion.

    • @KayOScode
      @KayOScode 3 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      @@googleuser9383 their later videos near the end of the glory days clearly had a left leaning. Watch their vids from 2014 to 2015 and thats where it started to go downhill unfortunately

  • @ericdavis4758
    @ericdavis4758 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36533

    If you blink you miss 40 hours of editing

    • @sruijc5250
      @sruijc5250 5 ปีที่แล้ว +930

      LMAOOO for real

    • @joehaddad6276
      @joehaddad6276 5 ปีที่แล้ว +169

      Eric Davis im the 1000th like

    • @MobyTheLion
      @MobyTheLion 5 ปีที่แล้ว +182

      Unless I pause it

    • @AmericanIdiot7659
      @AmericanIdiot7659 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Unoriginal but true.

    • @strebicux6174
      @strebicux6174 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @Obama don’t care so he's a dipshit?

  • @Astrosisphere
    @Astrosisphere 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10582

    I like how they use "fucking" as a serious but unexplained adjective and "love you" as a formal goodbye and "How's it hanging?" "How - it is hanging." as an exchange of greetings.

    • @paultrigger3798
      @paultrigger3798 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1033

      "How it do" - "What it is" and ending an conversation with 'Okay'. This video is so absurd yet some is still very plausible, that's brilliant writing.

    • @upyoursdotcom
      @upyoursdotcom 3 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      I agree. Sustinance to you.

    • @Grgrqr
      @Grgrqr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +217

      You remember that horrible word changing in “after earth?” This is like that but actually good.

    • @buddyguy4723
      @buddyguy4723 3 ปีที่แล้ว +237

      'They chilled it out in the free speech square'

    • @rikrob5172
      @rikrob5172 3 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      In Idiocracy, that's how they said good guy. I thought it was to show we were emotionally devolved that 'i love you' was the catch all to express anything positive.

  • @cupofjoe.88
    @cupofjoe.88 ปีที่แล้ว +13566

    The Middle East being reduced to one Israeli and one Palestinian still fighting over the rubble hitting hard rn

    • @bb_arcadia5752
      @bb_arcadia5752 ปีที่แล้ว +551

      Ah ah it's the "multi-cultural battlezone" remember?

    • @faedrenn
      @faedrenn ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Fr

    • @gapho5198
      @gapho5198 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      We can only hope ON fulfills their Divine Mandate, and this video becomes gospel.

    • @warframehunter7298
      @warframehunter7298 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      Honestly got a chuckle out of me for how well this aged😂

    • @albertsaffron7582
      @albertsaffron7582 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      I just wish cat meat wasn’t taxed so fucking high, I don’t have credits enough for before ionisation time! I’m standing here, love you all.
      #letsnotsee2138

  • @thecyuber558
    @thecyuber558 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8614

    "if the law is passed, it will raise the amount of laws in Indiana to 6"
    lmfao wtf

    • @revolver265
      @revolver265 4 ปีที่แล้ว +231

      Grimlands*

    • @OtherM112594
      @OtherM112594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +226

      Libertarian dream

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      @@OtherM112594 more like anarchists

    • @OtherM112594
      @OtherM112594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@bobobsen Those are synonymous

    • @jb-sq2lm
      @jb-sq2lm 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@OtherM112594 i read that as anon while skimmin
      also sseth should review this considering he touch all pol map in review-his

  • @marcelldavis4809
    @marcelldavis4809 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5517

    I love how the entire video looks like a Command & Conquer cutscene

    • @wolfieinu
      @wolfieinu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Good welcome, citizen

    • @vovin8132
      @vovin8132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      We fight for Kane!

    • @AaaBbb-kw5em
      @AaaBbb-kw5em 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Haha yeah

    • @andersforsgren3806
      @andersforsgren3806 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I have a strong hunch they seen it as a gamer - or took a look for reference. =)

    • @cvnic
      @cvnic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Soos!

  • @xXMapleVodkaXx
    @xXMapleVodkaXx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5633

    I love when they show the 2137 world map all the places are called things like "Toppled Skyscraper City" and "Fertile Woman Zone" and then China is just called China

    • @picklesandnori
      @picklesandnori ปีที่แล้ว +1

      fucked up enough as is

    • @lordcabbage4931
      @lordcabbage4931 ปีที่แล้ว

      China is going to call itself china even if there isn't a single chinese person in it so yeah that fits

    • @kepipek6598
      @kepipek6598 ปีที่แล้ว +778

      Can't forget about Gay Texas

    • @gunsmokegaloreyt6840
      @gunsmokegaloreyt6840 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s accurate as fuck 🤣 China is as dystopian as it gets right now

    • @TheEsperandus
      @TheEsperandus ปีที่แล้ว +188

      @@kepipek6598 Vermonty

  • @hankglidden1463
    @hankglidden1463 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +188

    This is where the onions budget peaked and it shows. Such a shame they don't make videos like this anymore, absolute genius really.

    • @GaussTheWarframe
      @GaussTheWarframe 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      This video was god tier

    • @Hulksmashhulkregret
      @Hulksmashhulkregret หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It could probably be done now with AI video making apps for a small fraction of the time and cost, and the AIness adds it’s own charm

    • @hankglidden1463
      @hankglidden1463 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      @Hulksmashhulkregret What are you on about AI photos still look bad, AI videos are absolutely horrid and will be for many years to come until the technology develops by a huge amount.

    • @Aresydatch
      @Aresydatch 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@HulksmashhulkregretThis shows that you have no appreciation for the craft nor do you have any experience with AI
      It's all horrid

  • @SingingSpock
    @SingingSpock 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12424

    The sheer amount of world building that went into this 10 minute satire video is astounding, not to mention the production and editing work

    • @SentientAnomaly
      @SentientAnomaly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      True reality.

    • @lofineet5093
      @lofineet5093 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @Sinned Gnillubnot I thought that said "and already know our fart" 💀

    • @jingbot1071
      @jingbot1071 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Laura Mclennan Laura, please, books won't hurt you.
      Read some of them. Shit, any of them.

    • @jingbot1071
      @jingbot1071 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Laura Mclennan I can tell.

    • @jingbot1071
      @jingbot1071 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Laura Mclennan Oh my god, you were serious. Yeah, I'm sure the facebook posts you read are better than the sum of historical human knowledge.
      Enjoy the effects of inbreeding, I guess. By the way, what you describe is called the 'dunning-kruger effect'. Not that I expect you to know that.
      ..also, double post? lol triggered.

  • @MarioAndreschak
    @MarioAndreschak 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4167

    "Orange, how is it hanging?"
    "How it is hanging."
    Pure gold

    • @tubbycustard8866
      @tubbycustard8866 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      i dont get that one

    • @monadolifesaver5613
      @monadolifesaver5613 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

      @@tubbycustard8866 the questioning of how the thing is hanging is responded to by just saying the extremely simplified version of the answer, that beimg how it is hanging.

    • @monadolifesaver5613
      @monadolifesaver5613 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      @@tubbycustard8866 also, I know how it can be sometimes when we can't keep up eith human ignorance, but remember you'll always have the rest of us, my fellow red-eyed reptilion bro.

    • @tubbycustard8866
      @tubbycustard8866 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @@monadolifesaver5613 thank you brother
      long live gazorpazorp

    • @phoenixchase9271
      @phoenixchase9271 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Tubby Custard
      Don’t forget gazorpozorpfield!

  • @bellcurve0
    @bellcurve0 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3946

    She shot quite the news load, full sustenance to her.

  • @simbachvazo6530
    @simbachvazo6530 ปีที่แล้ว +2361

    "If he aims to fuck up my tent, I will go over there and fuck up his tent!"
    Ah, war never changes.

    • @addewasurendra
      @addewasurendra 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Fallout!😊

    • @singlelifeformorganis
      @singlelifeformorganis 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      🍿🍿

    • @jr2904
      @jr2904 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      War... War never changes

    • @gae_wead_dad_6914
      @gae_wead_dad_6914 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      The dude was just building his tents while the Palestinian attacked
      It's not like he doesn't have enough room for himself!
      Or... maybe he doesn't, and that was the last non radiocative non flooded useful scrap filled zone.
      Eh, whatever

    • @psychomantis2485
      @psychomantis2485 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      This could also be an allegory for nuclear war.

  • @PeterTeal77
    @PeterTeal77 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2776

    “I hate to see children in the mideast suffer as a result of war. Good they are all dead” oof

    • @jillvalentinefan77
      @jillvalentinefan77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      To quote futurama's own Zapp Branigan, "How many men did we lose ?
      All of them.
      Well at least they won't have too mourn each other.

    • @obijuanquenobi1911
      @obijuanquenobi1911 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jillvalentinefan77 Hey Saddam, could you imagine being hanged in the holy days of Islam? That would be crazy...

    • @kyosokutai
      @kyosokutai 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@obijuanquenobi1911 They were more into lapidation or decapitations.

    • @deeznuts8659
      @deeznuts8659 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lol

    • @leogama3422
      @leogama3422 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      It's almost the complete reality now.

  • @JesusMeza3
    @JesusMeza3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5626

    This video would be amazing if it came out today but it's more amazing that it came out 5 years ago

    • @versamax6307
      @versamax6307 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      yup.....fuck i'm late...

    • @purplelemondoesstuff3044
      @purplelemondoesstuff3044 6 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      It's easy to predict the future, just answer nothing will change.

    • @Sam-eu9go
      @Sam-eu9go 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      All the same awful shit was happening 5 years ago too.

    • @clonerstive
      @clonerstive 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What the fuuuuuu-???

    • @elias_xp95
      @elias_xp95 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Holy shit.

  • @BushBumperBaker
    @BushBumperBaker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17867

    I wish I could be alive to see all the "This is creepily accurate" comments from people watching this in 2137.

    • @janglur
      @janglur 4 ปีที่แล้ว +873

      It's now 2020 and it's creepily accurate.

    • @odbodd123
      @odbodd123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +457

      You wish you could be alive? But it seems that if you were alive in 2137 then you would want to be dead.

    • @alexiswilliamsinc
      @alexiswilliamsinc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +166

      Red You beat me to it.
      They made this so we don’t have to waste our wishes...

    • @goodpie2772
      @goodpie2772 4 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      I'm not sure you're have to wait as long as 2021

    • @yerlocalpeanutdealer795
      @yerlocalpeanutdealer795 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@goodpie2772 agreed

  • @jeremytheoneofdestiny8691
    @jeremytheoneofdestiny8691 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +262

    It’s absolutely insane how high the Onion’s budget used to be

    • @vullord666
      @vullord666 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Hey now they're getting there again hopefully

  • @0Clewi0
    @0Clewi0 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2091

    I can't believe this video, why would they want to reland Florida?

    • @gnaskar
      @gnaskar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +173

      To contain the gators. And the floridamen.

    • @misanthropicservitorofmars2116
      @misanthropicservitorofmars2116 5 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      It’s become a hot bed of mutant gator invasions and swamp bandits.

    • @DMS_Knighted_Drifter
      @DMS_Knighted_Drifter 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Because they still haven't learned to prepare for their annual hurricane

    • @fordhoffmann477
      @fordhoffmann477 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      0Clewi0 because they want the world to end

    • @jbkesselman
      @jbkesselman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Disney World

  • @GamingPenis
    @GamingPenis 6 ปีที่แล้ว +921

    "Thank you Vitamin I love you"
    This segment is a masterpiece

  • @ThatOneGuy0006
    @ThatOneGuy0006 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1913

    Every frame is so dense, each joke adds another layer of complexity to this fallen world. This is genuinely one of the most impressive comedy vids on the website!

    • @Melody_Raventress
      @Melody_Raventress ปีที่แล้ว +12

      "It's so dense. Every single frame has so many things going on..." only, y'know in a good way.

    • @kylejohnson423
      @kylejohnson423 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      It's also kinda overwhelming. It can be interpreted as if the current news media pace just kept increasing.

    • @Old-Skull.
      @Old-Skull. ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i had to watch it at reduced speed... twice !

    • @FreejackVesa
      @FreejackVesa ปีที่แล้ว +29

      It's a borderline experimental film

    • @MatthewTheWanderer
      @MatthewTheWanderer ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Another layer, huh? Maybe that's why it's called "The Onion"!?

  • @soyjoyy
    @soyjoyy 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +206

    I absolutely love the random fast-paced visuals. Like the attention span of humans became so short, that it's the only way to make people watch.

    • @GaussTheWarframe
      @GaussTheWarframe 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      Fitting seeing how short form content has cooked our brains

    • @chocokeeki
      @chocokeeki 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      This is depressingly accurate to how people consume online content now. I'd say this video is slow-paced compared to the current state of short-form internet videos on social media.

    • @vibue2415
      @vibue2415 หลายเดือนก่อน

      even this vid. gives me headache..

    • @patrickwright8552
      @patrickwright8552 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@chocokeekithe barely readable captions on everything like we can't hear but are all 1960s speed readers, just flashing light to give a dopamime hit

    • @smittyvanjagermanjenson182
      @smittyvanjagermanjenson182 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Tik tok being this but nothing but stupid crap instead of news is alarming

  • @dontdothngs
    @dontdothngs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5215

    i feel like i watched a whole movie condensed to 10 minutes

    • @moistnugget4147
      @moistnugget4147 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      this is how movies should be

    • @inaminute1826
      @inaminute1826 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@snarkylive facts!!!😂☠️

    • @jedinutcracker
      @jedinutcracker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      watch idiocracy, this is basically it summarized in 10 minutes

    • @dixonpinfold2582
      @dixonpinfold2582 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You kind of did.

    • @Jakepearl13
      @Jakepearl13 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This video feels like idiocracy mixed with children of men

  • @jmanners
    @jmanners ปีที่แล้ว +4944

    "You don't need a bunch of empty promises! You all need to die!"
    I like a politician who just tells it like it is

    • @evanr9583
      @evanr9583 ปีที่แล้ว +203

      Too bad that was just another empty promise.

    • @urphakeandgey6308
      @urphakeandgey6308 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +44

      I always wanted to run for office and campaign on doing absolutely nothing in office. Why? Because me doing nothing would usually be better than the other guy doing anything.

    • @anarchy_79
      @anarchy_79 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      We know who we're all thinking of.

    • @nekemli2622
      @nekemli2622 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@evanr9583 well then

    • @nekemli2622
      @nekemli2622 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@evanr9583well then

  • @axenledgie1423
    @axenledgie1423 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6653

    This is literally the most impressive worldbuilding I have ever seen

    • @macadamia4569
      @macadamia4569 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Yeah

    • @liamseyepatch8152
      @liamseyepatch8152 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yeah

    • @danivuk2036
      @danivuk2036 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      For true!!

    • @Zeuts85
      @Zeuts85 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Haven't seen much world-building, eh? (Not that I'm knocking this, but c'mon... Go read Neuromancer or something.)

    • @sams7068
      @sams7068 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      @@Zeuts85 It's probably exaggeration! Though I know it's hard to tell on the internet. It is very impressive for a 10 minute comedy youtube video.

  • @DiabolicalDrone
    @DiabolicalDrone ปีที่แล้ว +887

    Glad to see they almost have that whole Israel - Palestine thing worked out in the future. I was getting worried there for a minute.

    • @areurdytoparty
      @areurdytoparty ปีที่แล้ว +70

      I had to come back to this video just to watch the Gaza scrap segment. Lmfao.

  • @saxoman1
    @saxoman1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2339

    On an Onion News binge and MAN these people are geniuses.
    I didn't laugh much during this because I was so enthralled and pulled into the world they built.
    The language they use (relandification), the topics they cover, the cgi and all the animation on the screen. Its so much, yet at the same time seems so effortless.
    They are, like, the Charlie Parker of satire, just amazing!

    • @raymondamoody8976
      @raymondamoody8976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Same it was so good I want more like this they did a really great job with this

    • @zidanelionheart
      @zidanelionheart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Seriously this was one of the best comedic satires I've ever seen, they are so clever.

    • @fourlightsorchestra
      @fourlightsorchestra 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Same. Also on an onion binge and was blown away by this. Very little laughter, just totally impressed. You blink and you’ll miss hours worth of incredible work.

    • @anxiousearth680
      @anxiousearth680 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah, lots of world building in this one.

    • @ADekuKid
      @ADekuKid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Bird was the perfect reference there.

  • @harmonicpsyche8313
    @harmonicpsyche8313 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5000

    The linguistics work done to produce this video is genuinely impressive.

    • @testfire3000
      @testfire3000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +412

      There is so much amazing work that went into this video that I spotted new things on each re-watch, because some of it is so rapid-fire and other is simply very clever text in the background.

    • @Tiago-
      @Tiago- 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      It truly is.

    • @simon6071
      @simon6071 5 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      @HarmonicPsyche You seem to have a high skill level in linguistics.Would you please translate the language of a female voice in the background from 9:11 to 9:18 into English for me? Could a cunning linguist be responsible for producing that sound clip to make this Onion video addictive to us?

    • @guilhemane
      @guilhemane 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@simon6071 that's a woman cumming lmao

    • @CaptWesStarwind
      @CaptWesStarwind 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Foreals

  • @gtfgoogleface
    @gtfgoogleface 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +216

    procter and gamble being a state is the funniest shit for some reason

    • @theberserker_of_falconia
      @theberserker_of_falconia 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Jews

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      ​@@theberserker_of_falconia Jew*
      Theres just one remember

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@theberserker_of_falconia Be antisemitic if you want; but stay factsexual. I love you.

  • @ferrocentric
    @ferrocentric 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5608

    No-one is gonna talk about how Wyoming voted to no longer exist?

    • @dhv2852
      @dhv2852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +778

      They were lucky, the rest of the world needs to wait for the Omega Particle accelerator

    • @unfortunatelyiamsane
      @unfortunatelyiamsane 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      i’m crying

    • @neilkurowski4991
      @neilkurowski4991 4 ปีที่แล้ว +133

      It never did. Wake up sheeple

    • @seiban8455
      @seiban8455 4 ปีที่แล้ว +154

      When they nuked themselves, the entire population died in seconds. Think about that, a whole ten people dead like that.

    • @Iberian_XAVO
      @Iberian_XAVO 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      What's Whyoming?

  • @almostnessie6773
    @almostnessie6773 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11149

    “Burger King burger zone”
    “Gay Texas”
    “Unaffiliated Russian republics”
    “Europe-land amusement park”
    “Fertile woman zone”

  • @feeler6670
    @feeler6670 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1529

    Damn 2130s kids... their generation have no idea how easy they have it...

    • @NiteckterX
      @NiteckterX 3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      I know right. They'll be dead before they chance their fucking selves into adulting. The omega-12 project if finished in time will keep the children not eaten by beetles or mutants from getting to adulting. Lucky fucks.

    • @6ftcheeseburger384
      @6ftcheeseburger384 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      I back In my day, we had to walk to 7/11 uphill both ways.

    • @samuelgunter
      @samuelgunter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      My kid in 2040: **generic excuse**
      Me, now a parent: i went to school during a pandemic >:(

    • @sahave5042
      @sahave5042 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@6ftcheeseburger384 Asian dad

  • @givecamichips
    @givecamichips 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1011

    One of the best implications of this is that mistakenly telling coworkers and acquaintances "I love you" became such a common thing that it was accepted as a farwell phrase

    • @qfcbv
      @qfcbv 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      wait can you give me a timestamp please i missed that part

    • @givecamichips
      @givecamichips 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      @@qfcbv 5:30

    • @qfcbv
      @qfcbv 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@givecamichips thanks!

    • @ToniToniToniToni
      @ToniToniToniToni 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      awww thats so cute

    • @RetiredAccount3737
      @RetiredAccount3737 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +54

      "Welcome to Costco, I love you"

  • @Релёкс84
    @Релёкс84 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1232

    Health status:
    61% dead
    ...
    62% dead
    It's like every pixel is filled with the perfect amount of satire

    • @Big_Sloppa
      @Big_Sloppa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      Health Status: No Large Holes
      That's just state of our medical checks

  • @MinecraftVideoHunter
    @MinecraftVideoHunter 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5416

    "90% of victims provoked the beetles by accidentally looking at them."

    • @yellowchino3883
      @yellowchino3883 6 ปีที่แล้ว +154

      was that a pre-cursor to modern day feminazis?

    • @Deranfan
      @Deranfan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +300

      @@yellowchino3883 More like modern day reactionary gamer bros.

    • @fulcrum2951
      @fulcrum2951 5 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      "Reactionary gamers" have become the things they sought to destroy

    • @Arkain89
      @Arkain89 5 ปีที่แล้ว +206

      @@yellowchino3883 living confirmation that only 14 years old use "feminazis" unironically

    • @yellowchino3883
      @yellowchino3883 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      -xX666Archain666Xx- I Approved by China 1927-1949 yep I still regret putting that comment

  • @michaelpointner7507
    @michaelpointner7507 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3434

    Great details. "I love you" as a casual greeting to imply the word love lost it's meaning. Also the fact that you can buy a senate seat is a logical conclusion today's plutocracy.

    • @Stinky_Steven
      @Stinky_Steven 5 ปีที่แล้ว +212

      I think that might be a reference to the line in idiocracy, “Welcome to Costco, I love you.” Both that movie and this skit have the same themes as well.

    • @mr.thundersucklefuzzcanyon3386
      @mr.thundersucklefuzzcanyon3386 5 ปีที่แล้ว +301

      And the suble use of "fucking" for emphasis in a formal setting

    • @llVIU
      @llVIU 5 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      that's why this is a real comedy video, real writing, good writing unlike the bullshit worthless slapstick humor, mindless eyecandy in movies that holywood directors make... just throw a bunch of money, make CGI, throw in a popular celebrity, destroy a bunch of stuff, add sex and drugs, gun fights, car chases... idiotic.
      A few seconds of dialogue in this video have a lot of depth. Makes you think.

    • @arandomperson8407
      @arandomperson8407 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      The Governor of Illinois tried to sell one in 09

    • @missviolence101
      @missviolence101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +149

      I like how their names and positive adjectives had to do with food, implying how highly valued it is. Orange, Vitamin, Zesty, "real spicy," etc.

  • @americossack3870
    @americossack3870 ปีที่แล้ว +656

    I like the detail of the word “fuck” becoming part of formal news speak, presumably losing its strength as a swear word

    • @dabbingraccoons6416
      @dabbingraccoons6416 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +66

      Makes sense considering how much we use it. In the future it will probably not even be considered vulgar and a new word will take its place

    • @MattExzy
      @MattExzy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

      Come to Australia... it's already here. We're so 'advanced'.

    • @Mic_Glow
      @Mic_Glow 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Meaning of words changes all the time... today's swearwords were regular (or even "fancy" science nomenclature) 100 or 200 years ago. Or a word in different language, badly adopted and mistranslated.

    • @meyers0781
      @meyers0781 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      An activist introducing the ridiculous word "Enshitification" ( "greed based online platform service decay") and then more people use that word unironically.

    • @JSK010
      @JSK010 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@dabbingraccoons6416 Yeah probably something like "damn" or "darn" now

  • @eldacar351
    @eldacar351 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2775

    This was one of the Onion's best video pieces ever. They got such a distinct feeling about what a dystopian future is like with such detail. The modified "future english" was particularly amazing. I wish they would do more segments like this.

    • @1ksweatyrikers455
      @1ksweatyrikers455 10 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      Agreed. This is one of the funniest things I've seen Onion do.

    • @effortless35
      @effortless35 10 ปีที่แล้ว +206

      "I wish they would do more segments like this."
      Fuck chance of that.

    • @christinemarotta9707
      @christinemarotta9707 9 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I agree Ari, I think this is what the world it's coming to!

    • @Combobaracker
      @Combobaracker 7 ปีที่แล้ว +127

      "Fuck chance of them making more segments? Love you."

    • @user98xp
      @user98xp 7 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Aaron Chan the "fuck chance of" part really made me chuckle.

  • @madnap7972
    @madnap7972 4 ปีที่แล้ว +833

    "citizens are expressing their frust-rage" that's my favorite part about this

    • @neonmajora8454
      @neonmajora8454 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Madnap I like "thank you for the news, I love you".

    • @googleprofiel6814
      @googleprofiel6814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@neonmajora8454 I love you

    • @theultimatehuman
      @theultimatehuman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      It's frustrageous

    • @Klm49
      @Klm49 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Agreed! I plan to integrate frust-rage into conversations whenever possible!

    • @MattWeser
      @MattWeser 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Very Newspeak of them. Lots of clever language usage here, Orwell would be proud (and horrified).

  • @iwillbeginagain
    @iwillbeginagain 5 ปีที่แล้ว +930

    "I've shot my news load"
    What a great finish

    • @f.i.r.e.5119
      @f.i.r.e.5119 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Hahahahahahahahahaha...
      I get it.

    • @pet3590
      @pet3590 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Clap speed: Slow

    • @bath_foam4576
      @bath_foam4576 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      i'd say it was the real climax of the video

  • @oppenz3723
    @oppenz3723 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    If The Onion is doing this sketch now, the year wouldn't even get past 2050.

  • @BrendanMcGinley
    @BrendanMcGinley 9 ปีที่แล้ว +663

    The fact that the camera absolutely will not stop moving while animations crawl...such a perfect little critical jab at news now.

  • @marsensound
    @marsensound ปีที่แล้ว +1988

    "Think 'Stop' to halt download" is a terrifying sentence said with such complete nonchalance

    • @djn48
      @djn48 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +231

      Yes indeed. It's right up there with "If I could remove my obedience chip..."

    • @25lighters91
      @25lighters91 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Neuralink and Apple OneVision

    • @SlimeBlueMS
      @SlimeBlueMS 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +69

      Sustenance to you

    • @DogBearCat
      @DogBearCat 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +104

      “Remain motionless to be informed”

    • @frozencatcake
      @frozencatcake 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Now im scared​@@djn48

  • @PresidentialWinner
    @PresidentialWinner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +417

    A woman journalist who says "I've shot my news load" Is a a journalist i can trust.

  • @gogogogogirl
    @gogogogogirl ปีที่แล้ว +151

    Ah... to be in the writer's room that day. Certified platinum humor.

    • @jelletimmermans3916
      @jelletimmermans3916 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Seeeriously, these people deserve all the awards

  • @powerrangerblue8566
    @powerrangerblue8566 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1353

    "Are we not as good as the lizard people of Arazoni?"

  • @simonevogel7990
    @simonevogel7990 5 ปีที่แล้ว +580

    "Every word I have said here is true -- more news was not possible."
    - Zesty Lewis, News Giver

    • @balkan_thoughts-zt7pr
      @balkan_thoughts-zt7pr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I remember that line but is it still in the video?

    • @Raptor810Blue
      @Raptor810Blue 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@balkan_thoughts-zt7prThey got rid of it in 2022.

    • @dyawr
      @dyawr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yep, still there 5:45

    • @balkan_thoughts-zt7pr
      @balkan_thoughts-zt7pr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Raptor810Blue Oh Dude, you got me so bad! I actually believed you. Such an Onionist you are!

    • @balkan_thoughts-zt7pr
      @balkan_thoughts-zt7pr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@dyawr Thank you! I fell for Raptor's lie/joke and lost hope. Somehow I watched it 3 times and didn't catch it.

  • @christianethic
    @christianethic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4052

    You could make an entire Netflix series of this. Even if it was just episodic television broadcasts format. I'd watch the shit out of that.

    • @AConquerorsVendetta
      @AConquerorsVendetta 2 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      Right? This was pure madness, it was glorious

    • @skeetrix5577
      @skeetrix5577 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I watch it like every month usually whenever I hear Israel or Palestine bullshit it always reminds me to watch this I hope they don't take it down until after I die whenever that is

    • @kensukefan47
      @kensukefan47 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Why Netflix?

    • @gunsmokegaloreyt6840
      @gunsmokegaloreyt6840 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@skeetrix5577 No thats selfish they shouldn’t remove it in 8 months! This should be watchable for all forever!

    • @skeetrix5577
      @skeetrix5577 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@gunsmokegaloreyt6840 haha well I hardly doubt they are gonna take me into consideration whenever they decide to keep it or finally retire it but fingers crossed lol

  • @UnnDunn
    @UnnDunn 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    I can’t believe I missed this masterpiece until now. The world building, the presentation, the writing, it’s all so perfect.

  • @code8825
    @code8825 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4934

    Honestly, one of the best parts of this is how in the future “fucking” isn’t considered vulgar and they just say it super casually, it’s great.

    • @fduranthesee
      @fduranthesee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +355

      this isn't the fucking future, it's casual in the present

    • @xeonespydonum4995
      @xeonespydonum4995 5 ปีที่แล้ว +371

      I was more interested in how flippant "love" was thrown around. Just as casual as "have a good one."

    • @joshe9409
      @joshe9409 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      i think that’s just the theme song

    • @EthanBradburyVlogs
      @EthanBradburyVlogs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @DeiLux77 not on formal news channels

    • @joshe9409
      @joshe9409 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      shit i meant « the onion being theonion » idk how that happened

  • @gengarzilla1685
    @gengarzilla1685 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7049

    "A new poll finds people wish dinosaurs were still extinct"
    What the hell did you guys do?!

    • @worldofdoom995
      @worldofdoom995 3 ปีที่แล้ว +253

      Jurassic park gone wrong?

    • @WillowLiv
      @WillowLiv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +679

      If you look closely, when they talk about the worst goverment projects, there is one called Dino Resurrexxxion

    • @JesseGolo
      @JesseGolo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      They didn't stop to ask if they should.

    • @YataTheFifteenth
      @YataTheFifteenth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +164

      @@WillowLiv I don't like the implication. Not one bit.

    • @covenawhite4855
      @covenawhite4855 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Cloning extinct species gone wrong.

  • @garrettwidner6915
    @garrettwidner6915 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2491

    This is easily the funniest, best executed, and most original piece of satire in existence. It's a crime that this didn't get more recognition.

    • @dukemorran1
      @dukemorran1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      sustanance to you! Fulltruth!

    • @joncoda365
      @joncoda365 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Absolutely. This was amazing!

    • @jacobschweiger5897
      @jacobschweiger5897 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      nah, id say that title belongs to jim haggerdy porkin across america by the onion.

    • @roninpatriot8264
      @roninpatriot8264 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This is just a blatant rip off of idiocracy

    • @likira111
      @likira111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wait what was the beetle stuff supposed to represent? traditional terroism or shootings (also terroism)? because when he mentioned them not covering the other stuff he seemed to have a point?

  • @kelownatechkid
    @kelownatechkid หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    This is easily among the greatest videos produced in the internet era.

  • @annonimus6883
    @annonimus6883 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1940

    "90% of beetle victims provoked the attacks by accidentally looking at 'em"

    • @RobertDecker417
      @RobertDecker417 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Holy shit, it played as I read this.
      I know what the others mean now

    • @Deadass271
      @Deadass271 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@RobertDecker417 same, wow that’s lucky

    • @gaodacheese4691
      @gaodacheese4691 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Deadass271 I don't get your point

    • @calypsom5797
      @calypsom5797 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Honestly sound like they were asking for it, like if they didnt want to be attacked they shouldve just said no

    • @rhettwilkerson1828
      @rhettwilkerson1828 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@RobertDecker417 same

  • @BillyPalmerMusic
    @BillyPalmerMusic 10 ปีที่แล้ว +8132

    Well that looked like a hell of a lot of work went into it

  • @ryanhong9291
    @ryanhong9291 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5948

    There’s more world building here then every dystopian novel combined

    • @2Ws2Ls
      @2Ws2Ls 4 ปีที่แล้ว +494

      gay texas adds more than the three divergent books

    • @johnmartinez7440
      @johnmartinez7440 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @Thecooljack Hi First one was alright, I more or less gave up after that

    • @ididntmeantoshootthatvietn5012
      @ididntmeantoshootthatvietn5012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      This could be a movie ngl, i mean how can something like Mississipi fire happened??

    • @kazeryu4834
      @kazeryu4834 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Someone more talented than me needs to write a fanfic story in this universe

    • @garlonschuman1014
      @garlonschuman1014 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I think you meant to say every YA dystopian novel combined

  • @ericlinville564
    @ericlinville564 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    This is the single greatest piece of content the onion has ever produced. And it's by a mile.

    • @thomasharris9059
      @thomasharris9059 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      It’s a masterpiece. The jokes per second ratio is unreal.

    • @Redwolf6056
      @Redwolf6056 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@thomasharris9059 Took me half an hour to watch this 10 minute video from all the pausing to read everything. So many blink and you miss it jokes

  • @aristogan
    @aristogan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4157

    This is one of the most underrated pieces of satire in human history.

    • @jansalomin
      @jansalomin 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      satire?

    • @t6amygdala
      @t6amygdala 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jansalomin I was about to say that 😭

    • @c.e.oofcrabgang2887
      @c.e.oofcrabgang2887 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      0:31 he really just called Oklahoma 'Gay Texas' and now I feel sad

    • @t6amygdala
      @t6amygdala 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@c.e.oofcrabgang2887 you are just gay texas, but like in a bad way cus I like men

    • @yokothespacewhale
      @yokothespacewhale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      As well as in human future!

  • @ethankaufmanmusic8644
    @ethankaufmanmusic8644 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1590

    "Widespread support among the Israeli."

    • @Freezo90967
      @Freezo90967 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      widespread? it's 100% support. I think this news source is fake news...

    • @gordistador
      @gordistador 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@Freezo90967 No, its only around 87% of the Israeli supports this.

    • @fannin8583
      @fannin8583 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean the onion is just fake news sooo....

    • @skin_lizard
      @skin_lizard 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@fannin8583 No duh, it's a joke.

    • @redking36
      @redking36 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oskari Peurala
      I don’t think you understood the joke. There was 1 Israeli left in the entire world.

  • @Emmanuel-jz5td
    @Emmanuel-jz5td 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1831

    "How it do, Vitamin?"
    "What it is, ST."
    Perfection.

    • @camlind12
      @camlind12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Zesty

    • @hazzmando
      @hazzmando 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

      I love how they end the conversation:
      "Thank you, Vitamin. I love you."
      "Love you."

    • @gaodacheese4691
      @gaodacheese4691 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      don't get it

    • @RubberDougie44
      @RubberDougie44 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@gaodacheese4691 STD, vitamin D

    • @gaodacheese4691
      @gaodacheese4691 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RubberDougie44 oh okay thanks for explaining 😂

  • @someasiandude4797
    @someasiandude4797 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    This 10 minute video got more world building than 99% of movies

  • @JeremyGalloway
    @JeremyGalloway 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3066

    I feel horrible for their CGI person when they pitched this one 😂

    • @sylph8005
      @sylph8005 4 ปีที่แล้ว +346

      I mean, I bet this is the peak of that person's carrer

    • @stonedgamerguy818
      @stonedgamerguy818 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Honest lmao

    • @snarfymcsnarfface2323
      @snarfymcsnarfface2323 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sylph I mean this would be mine

    • @lazydonkey3617
      @lazydonkey3617 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Why would they have to cgi this it’s real

    • @user-bq5nw6cq5d
      @user-bq5nw6cq5d 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      the people who worked on this all died from exhaustion, this was leaked 2 years ago.

  • @DagothUrWelcomesYou
    @DagothUrWelcomesYou 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6329

    Wow, when a 10 minute comedy skit from TheOnion has a better plot than most sci-fi movies today

    • @hustler3of4culture3
      @hustler3of4culture3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      There should be a movie. And some books and a TV show.
      Thank you for standing there.

    • @sillygoose635
      @sillygoose635 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      no it doesn't

    • @sillygoose635
      @sillygoose635 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Tsinat Gebreselassie no they don't

    • @sillygoose635
      @sillygoose635 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @Tsinat Gebreselassie Except i have also researched filmmaking, entertainment, and me, and i tend to know somewhat more then you, thanks for your petty response.
      Thank you, next.

    • @braydenharris2983
      @braydenharris2983 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Tsinat Gebreselassie no, being overly confident in fight and or argument/debate is a good way to lose early. Even though it’s worked quite well for Conor mcgregor. Your replies came off as assholish, so yes. Please do fuck off.

  • @leandrotami
    @leandrotami 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3384

    I hope this will be preserved somehow so that people in the future can watch it and have a laugh about how optimistic we were

    • @lordmeow
      @lordmeow 3 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      Lol, you guys really were optimistic

    • @jmmh1313
      @jmmh1313 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Welcome to the Internet.

    • @PJBloop
      @PJBloop 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      @@jmmh1313 Take a look around. Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.

    • @gaminganimators7000
      @gaminganimators7000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@PJBloop we've got mountains of content.

    • @pookypoo1169
      @pookypoo1169 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😂

  • @AstroRamiEmad
    @AstroRamiEmad ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Watching this in 2137 and this can't be more accurate

    • @robertnicholls9917
      @robertnicholls9917 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey there future guy. Gaza is being genocided right now, how did both the Israelis and Palestinians eliminate each other?

  • @rouissiachraf
    @rouissiachraf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2820

    Dystopian satire should be a more popular type of humor

  • @fin_jan
    @fin_jan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +319

    "Remain motionless to be informed"
    Oh, so true.

  • @uss_04
    @uss_04 5 ปีที่แล้ว +787

    Dear Onion. Its 2019. We need you back.

    • @galliumgames3962
      @galliumgames3962 5 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      Dear Onion. Its 2020. We need you back.

    • @JoeMama-dk6xr
      @JoeMama-dk6xr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@galliumgames3962 Dear Onion, It's 2020. WW3 starting soon and the future is coming true.

    • @RealityLiesBeneathTheVeil
      @RealityLiesBeneathTheVeil 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Joe Mama no, just more fear porn (no not THAT porn -> NOT coincidentally Also owned by the Small Hats), from the mainstream media. What's real anymore? What can you believe coming from pathological liars with a agenda? Not a Damn thing, that's what. I assume nothing that I haven't seen, touched, or sensed or that didn't come from someone first hand that I trust. They're so full of shit its sick. And people still buy into this binary "Left/Right" paradigm nonsense and continue to consent by participating. I'll be writing in a "No confidence" vote for any "elections" that go beyond Sheriff. I don't expect many people to be able to understand what I'm talking about as most have proven to be so mentally entrenched in this Beast system that I don't even usually bother trying to peel their eyelids back to reboot their brains. This isn't a shot at you, per se, but rather a general statement.

    • @JoeMama-dk6xr
      @JoeMama-dk6xr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@RealityLiesBeneathTheVeil bitch im a shitposter so whoosh maybe?
      Also funny that u said porn but not mean porn, i look up porn of the most degenerate stuff on google so lol
      Also u said Joe Mama lol
      Also its the onion which is loterally satirical fake news

    • @ADeeSHUPA
      @ADeeSHUPA 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      US uP

  • @realnamenonumber
    @realnamenonumber หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    looks like we are still on track

    • @shawndavis7249
      @shawndavis7249 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Still on track? We're going faster than ever!

    • @Hulksmashhulkregret
      @Hulksmashhulkregret หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah, all that stuff about eating cats and dogs in mid 2024 brought us closer to 2137

  • @LeslieDuggerLAANELeslieDugger
    @LeslieDuggerLAANELeslieDugger 5 ปีที่แล้ว +306

    The best part is the subtle change of certain words.

  • @Dr.Froggo
    @Dr.Froggo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1339

    I am convinced that The Onion just gets news from alternate realities.

    • @evarivera4137
      @evarivera4137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Probably not far from the truth.

    • @potatoes5829
      @potatoes5829 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Nah, its probably this reality

    • @jonathantheslow
      @jonathantheslow 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Half of the time, they do get it from the future.

    • @landrylongacre6391
      @landrylongacre6391 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@potatoes5829 this is most certainly the future, I can easily see the Palestine Israel situation of just two guys remaining happening

    • @alastorcorvus
      @alastorcorvus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This is our version of Interdimentional Cable

  • @PanzerMan332
    @PanzerMan332 6 ปีที่แล้ว +546

    "Lil' Congress"

  • @adamlach6572
    @adamlach6572 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    as polish, i chuckled a bit because of the date

  • @GariSullivan
    @GariSullivan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    05:53 "Think stop to halt download". The scariest sentence in the entire video.

  • @frocco7125
    @frocco7125 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1404

    This is like Mad Max + Idiocracy + Wall-E

    • @fluffysheap
      @fluffysheap 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      + Max Headroom

    • @nicholsjoshua15
      @nicholsjoshua15 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Mad Max, Borderlands, and Idiocracy all rolled up on one.

    • @marjechevarez790
      @marjechevarez790 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Hoàng Nguyên Nostradamus had it predicted first

    • @randomesque1475
      @randomesque1475 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      i was thinking the same thing!!

    • @theapexsurvivor9538
      @theapexsurvivor9538 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      666th like

  • @Sevenandalso7
    @Sevenandalso7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4944

    Gender:
    “Humale”

    • @camcam_burger
      @camcam_burger 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      @Sébastien Levesque they already specify their species whenever they specify their gender tho

    • @Waitwhat469
      @Waitwhat469 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      @@camcam_burger two competing standards, so they decided on both

    • @mimtembo
      @mimtembo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      me

    • @Sevenandalso7
      @Sevenandalso7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      John Thomas bruh. You realize that I was joking right?

    • @camcam_burger
      @camcam_burger 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @John Thomas seems counterproductive to equate millennials with contradictory identities, and with diversity as a whole

  • @Korvilon
    @Korvilon 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    11 years later and this is still the News.

  • @Swoost
    @Swoost 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2426

    “Are we not as good as the lizard people of Arizony?” I felt that mayn

    • @sovietunion7643
      @sovietunion7643 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      this comment feels like it is from the future and im a bit scared

    • @thewildcardperson
      @thewildcardperson 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Mekronid keep fighting the emporoer protects

    • @davewolf8869
      @davewolf8869 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      No. You are not.

    • @thesynthpub6511
      @thesynthpub6511 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      HM

    • @kimgkomg
      @kimgkomg 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      No

  • @Fredfredbug4
    @Fredfredbug4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2095

    The President being basically just a WWE Wrestler is too close to home.

    • @Meaty_Aberration
      @Meaty_Aberration 2 ปีที่แล้ว +118

      Watch the movie "Idiocracy"

    • @Red1Revival
      @Red1Revival 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      reminds me of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks

    • @Big_Sloppa
      @Big_Sloppa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      At least he can speak coherently

    • @herlandercarvalho
      @herlandercarvalho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      You are aware that there are people pushing for Dwayne Johnson to run for POTUS, right? This will happen, sooner or later.

    • @traytonburnett5218
      @traytonburnett5218 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Looks like John fetterman

  • @Dalton_Boardman2000
    @Dalton_Boardman2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1390

    Plot twist. The Onion actually is broadcasting from the future but they're still being ironic and satirical.

    • @Chris_no_father_figure
      @Chris_no_father_figure 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      OMG this comment is so underrated!😱
      This changes everything, it makes the world building so much more logical too!

    • @politicallyambiguous8424
      @politicallyambiguous8424 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Still means the future is something to be very concerned about.

    • @RichoRosai
      @RichoRosai 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      You're commenting all wrong. You're not supposed to say anything interesting or clever, you're supposed to say "I love how [rephrasing of the video's premise stupidly]". Or at least a lame, transient internet meme.

    • @iwbmo
      @iwbmo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Plot twist. The onion could have done the current news back then and it could have been considered satirical.

    • @SuperParaNatural
      @SuperParaNatural 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I hope

  • @mnmlst1
    @mnmlst1 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I fear the future knowing how often Onion jokes becomes reality.

  • @dkwroot
    @dkwroot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1144

    This is completely ridiculous, I mean ... this is way too optimistic of a future.

    • @hughjass2024
      @hughjass2024 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      lol. How could it possibly be any worse?

    • @2muchwit
      @2muchwit 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @@hughjass2024 the mutant Beetles start breeding with the humans

    • @bendjaminspocke7817
      @bendjaminspocke7817 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@hughjass2024 No world ender. All people suffer, unless they are important. So much suffering.

    • @fica1137
      @fica1137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      this is too pesimistic, it won't take that for president Wilson to build the collider

    • @edwardicus4
      @edwardicus4 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Truer words could not be broadcasted, dkwtoot. I just got off the social hive mind with a time-traveler from the actual fucking future and he said that things are litteralisticly 1057% worse.
      Love you.

  • @NoizyInSeattle
    @NoizyInSeattle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +758

    "A new poll finds most people wish dinosaurs were still extinct!"

    • @brandonm1708
      @brandonm1708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      I would do love to get more insight on this world. The Onion really did well with the worldbuilding in this sketch, I love it

    • @phalamy9180
      @phalamy9180 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Useless idiots never even learned Dino Riding.
      Lmao

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well the DinoResureXXXion Project on number 2 of most mismanaged projects is probably responsible for that. They were successful despite the mismanagement; it seems 😅

    • @free_instructions2259
      @free_instructions2259 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@EinFelsbrocken I mean mismanagement doesn't necessarily mean failure, so very likely they did succeed and fucked up Afterwards

  • @dhollsynthmusic
    @dhollsynthmusic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +457

    it's so dense, every single frame has so many things going on.

    • @Klm49
      @Klm49 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Right! There are movies with less care taken in world building and visual interest than this short clip!

    • @Passonator11
      @Passonator11 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The president is the key to all of this.
      ..If we get the president working...

    • @johnr797
      @johnr797 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Passonator11 because he's a violenter president than we've ever had before

    • @shihonage
      @shihonage 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I saw it and I clapped!

    • @shan4680
      @shan4680 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Klm49 Subtle Red Letter Media reference. As is I saw it and I clapped!

  • @dddddd7315
    @dddddd7315 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    This aged well.

    • @MySerpentine
      @MySerpentine 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Far too well, really

    • @Dadcandoit007Kevin
      @Dadcandoit007Kevin 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      To true man, those giant beetles are becoming a real pain, lost my two sons to a beetle

    • @Mal0Imperzia
      @Mal0Imperzia 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dadcandoit007Kevin dude just type in ⬆️➡️⬆️➡️ to solve your problems

    • @ironhell813
      @ironhell813 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      True reality.

    • @Hulksmashhulkregret
      @Hulksmashhulkregret หลายเดือนก่อน

      Eerily well! As of late 2024, we’ve already seen “they’re eating cats and dogs” become a thing

  • @flashgordon6510
    @flashgordon6510 4 ปีที่แล้ว +408

    I can't believe "frustrage" isn't part of our daily discourse right now!

    • @omfglongbeach
      @omfglongbeach 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Give it ~50 years.

    • @adh0c468
      @adh0c468 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Fuck chance of that. It’s facing much delays.

    • @Deadass271
      @Deadass271 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@adh0c468 might as well throw selves into beetle

    • @justsomeguywithtattoos6267
      @justsomeguywithtattoos6267 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What time?

    • @augustday9483
      @augustday9483 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is frustrageous!

  • @juanjuri6127
    @juanjuri6127 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2831

    the onion: [an hour's worth of fast-paced jokes crammed into a 10 minute segment]
    me: hehe vermonty

    • @SEmme-ov6yy
      @SEmme-ov6yy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Juan Juri and arizony

    • @aceplay4448
      @aceplay4448 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Haha lil congress

    • @SERGE_Tech
      @SERGE_Tech 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      serious watched this for an hour paused and read all text laughed and red tons of comments.

    • @kohlcooke8789
      @kohlcooke8789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Me: haha gay Texas

    • @homemadeduck1022
      @homemadeduck1022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lol I did the same thing

  • @logannasty3240
    @logannasty3240 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1182

    “Every word I said here was true more news is not possible”

  • @imnotgivingmynametoamachine683
    @imnotgivingmynametoamachine683 6 ปีที่แล้ว +623

    I really miss the ONN. I'll bet it was super expensive to produce but damn was it good.

    • @hatefulgaming1800
      @hatefulgaming1800 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Elmira Communist Party Official Nigga you dumb or stupid?

    • @leomignonneau1765
      @leomignonneau1765 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Elmira Communist Party Official ???????

    • @Luis-vy9bm
      @Luis-vy9bm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Elmira Communist Party Official Your'e actually a waste.

    • @totallynotzokix11_mc21
      @totallynotzokix11_mc21 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Elmira Communist Party Official You don't have any fucking idea what r/wooosh is, do you?

    • @Hawk-q9d
      @Hawk-q9d 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @name2
      "Dad, what's that thing in the sky?"
      *woooooooossshhh*
      "That's an airplane, Timmy."
      "Cool. I like airpla-"
      "Wait. Oh shit!! That's the woooosh missle!!! Some kid r/wooooshed us in a TH-cam comment section!! AHHHHHHH!!"
      "Ahhhh!!!"
      *woooOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHhhh*
      Whole fucking universe explodes.
      The end.

  • @jelletimmermans3916
    @jelletimmermans3916 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    This is actually incredibly well made. So detailed, well thought out and hilarious

  • @OrangeC7
    @OrangeC7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5200

    The way they extrapolated how the English language might shift over the next 117 years was so subtly genius

  • @carmenishere
    @carmenishere 5 ปีที่แล้ว +815

    Amazingly clever/ fast paced jokes + world building through it all.. wish this was an actual show 😩

    • @coreyparis303
      @coreyparis303 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Right. It's fucking brilliant.

    • @existextinct
      @existextinct 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Or a game

    • @nicktrice4921
      @nicktrice4921 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It almost practically is.

    • @Krystalmyth
      @Krystalmyth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Would be incredible getting this once a week.

  • @metagoat
    @metagoat ปีที่แล้ว +402

    I like how "frustrageous" is a word in the future.

  • @carlosvalerochavez3045
    @carlosvalerochavez3045 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    TH-cam have just recomended this to me, and I thank it

  • @DuePancho
    @DuePancho 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2819

    So this is what a person from 100 years ago would feel is he saw 10 mins of current CNN/Fox news

    • @genericwhitekidthesecond4330
      @genericwhitekidthesecond4330 4 ปีที่แล้ว +176

      I mean not really. The news a hundred years ago was just as fucking wild.

    • @KipTM
      @KipTM 4 ปีที่แล้ว +185

      I mean 100 years ago we were in WWI and had the spanish flu pandemic to worry about which was 20x worse than covid

    • @ToyokaX
      @ToyokaX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

      To be fair, I think you're right. They wouldn't be as bombarded with news back then as they are today. You can virtually know what's happening in every single country in the world in 10 minutes now. Back then, you would barely know what's happening the next state over unless you had a radio turned on and tuned into the right channel at the tight time.

    • @theevildrummingsithlord1492
      @theevildrummingsithlord1492 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@genericwhitekidthesecond4330 How wild was it back then?

    • @IcyScythe
      @IcyScythe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I'd say 200 years ago more like.

  • @olliezoop
    @olliezoop 3 ปีที่แล้ว +681

    I love the Onion, but this truly puts every other single piece of media they've ever made to shame. Truly incredible.

    • @TALCOLMINTHEMIDDLE
      @TALCOLMINTHEMIDDLE 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Sex House is pretty incredible, but if you're going to single out any 10 minutes of content, this is definitely it

    • @willfakaroni5808
      @willfakaroni5808 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think our dumb century is better

  • @xfirexrainx6668
    @xfirexrainx6668 4 ปีที่แล้ว +495

    They forgot to talk about *fast and furious 183*

    • @balintkristof8442
      @balintkristof8442 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      They also forgot CAll of Duty 216

    • @kneelandsubscribe9786
      @kneelandsubscribe9786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Hm... they're falling behind. That kid said he'd make 600 sequels.

    • @nekozombie
      @nekozombie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@kneelandsubscribe9786 they never deliver

    • @inaki5989
      @inaki5989 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dont forget about FIFA 137

    • @loganricherson
      @loganricherson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They also forgot the first trailer for Elderscrolls 6

  • @jaanzi4347
    @jaanzi4347 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    Me: So Onion, what kind of dystopia is humanity going to have to endure? Cyberpunk? Mad Max? Idiocrazy?
    Onion: Yes.

    • @Triniidadii_Productions
      @Triniidadii_Productions ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Literally

    • @RandomGal_
      @RandomGal_ 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Even the world of Elysium is better off than The Onion’s future

  • @ag9496
    @ag9496 8 ปีที่แล้ว +506

    I would pay money to see a full-length film of this. Or any new Onion movie, in fact.

  • @drkpaladin777
    @drkpaladin777 ปีที่แล้ว +980

    Please do a kickstarter for another one of these. It’s been over 10 years, my body is ready. Sustenance to you.

    • @vehicles_n_stuff
      @vehicles_n_stuff ปีที่แล้ว +95

      I second that. It’s frustrageous that they’ve gone so long without an update on the Omega 12 particle accelerator

    • @awfulusername1465
      @awfulusername1465 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@vehicles_n_stuffMaybe they finally got it working

    • @Klm49
      @Klm49 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      And sustenance to you as well!

    • @CatOnACell
      @CatOnACell 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      full conveyance, however no news is good news on the Omega 12 as it suggests the building went along smoothly after the helotanium came in. real frustrage is that this eye-stream is more true-real now than when it was born. sustenence to you.

    • @EatLeadClankers
      @EatLeadClankers 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Sustenance to you!

  • @HarshRajAlwaysfree
    @HarshRajAlwaysfree 5 ปีที่แล้ว +743

    Damn the budget
    They really went all out

    • @SCtester
      @SCtester 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      For real, they must have had an insane amount of funding for this. Funny to compare that to today's Onion content.

    • @samuraijackoff5354
      @samuraijackoff5354 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Its almost like they got it from the future

    • @brandonobaza8610
      @brandonobaza8610 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Okay...
      I DAMN THEE, BUDGET!

    • @sorrychangedmyusername3594
      @sorrychangedmyusername3594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Only Onion will get bankrupt just for one video.

    • @hypsin0
      @hypsin0 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Leandro Aude They just brought the money back from the future. With the inflation, it was probably quite cheap by those standards.

  • @WindiChilliwack
    @WindiChilliwack ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Man i love the late 2000's sci fi aesthetics.

    • @GaussTheWarframe
      @GaussTheWarframe 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      2000s sci fi ui aesthetics are absolutely beautiful

    • @WindiChilliwack
      @WindiChilliwack 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@GaussTheWarframe Truly!

    • @user-wb8iu1hl6i
      @user-wb8iu1hl6i 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@WindiChilliwack I was also struck by how much denser and more substantial that dark frutiger aero style UI looks compared to the current obsession with boring minimalism