Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ก.ย. 2024
- Autistic reporter Michael Falk reports it is bad that four U.S. soldiers died but it is good that nearly two dozen Taliban soldiers died. (Aired 10/18/11)
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If you kill your enemy Ryan, you can stack crates in prison Michael
Killing two birds with one stone.
Stacking two crates with one murder
@@johnperic6860 Ah, you must be the Robert Falk of rumor
@@macaroon_nuggets8008 Why should he do that?
@@InfamousMax Killing two birds with one stone is an idiom in English.
If everyone joins the Taliban nobody will be sad when anyone dies... how tempting.
Stanislav Veliky
Staaaaan! Even 3 years ago you can make me laugh
krazykittymatt how about 5 years?
Yay I want to be happy :D
You're definitely on a watchlist now.
@@notdoneyet1361 me?
I fucking cried out loud when he hit us with the "here's how to join the Taliban"
I laugh my ass off when he say teliben instead of taaleebaan 😂 funny amerikan accent
I knew it was going there and I wasn't disappointed
Haven’t you ever wondered why they ended up winning?
@@IsaiahRichards692The US let them.
@@SiGa-i1r The US occupation was the greatest recruitment ad that the Taliban could ever hope for
His logic is undeniable.
Legionario Cruel he has ass burgers
You're telling me that theirs a disease called ass burgers?
MrBrown BearMan Asperger’s syndrome is a mild form of autism.
@@BuMMasUmmA he wants to know about ass burgers
Yeah you guys have ass burgers which means that you guys are being asses
Whoever thought up Michael Falk, autistic reporter deserves SOME kind of award. Brilliant.
So funny
The actor deserves mad credit.
Eric Logan John Cariani is his name
He’s like Borat but better. We need more of him, possibly a movie!
apparently the dude writing him AND the actor are both autistic which to me, an autistic person, automatically makes it better lol
Holy shit. I speak those languages and Falk's accent and pronunciation is absolutely on point. What a fucking incredible actor. Who is this person? That's incredible to me. They didn't even bullshit the subtitles like some of these sorts of parodies do to save money on translating; that is what they were actually saying. Just wow. I'm more impressed by the Onion than I've been in a long time.
Is that Pashto or Dari?
@@unsrescyldas9745 pashto
@@grify I heard "Khoda" which means God and I thought of Persian.
It’s John Cariani! He’s been on broadway!!
I will take your word for it lol.
"Were the taliban happy when the taliban died?" I love how there's no sarcasm.
Yes actually. Lol.
-Not what he asked.-
*UPDATE:* This reply is rescinded following the clarification by Mr "@Tim".
Btw they don't represent Islam, but Muslim soldiers like death as their enemy likes life this is why they are strong
@@abdullahalharthi2429 if they represented islam they would be much worse.
@@MouldMadeMind Are you okay? Do you really think over 1 billion people including myself are crazy as hell madmen just looking to commit terrorism? Before you criticize Islam, at least look into what it says.
we need to rise up against ryan for stealing his yogurts and making fun of the way he talks >:(
I second this
I agree
yogurt jehad
Yes
The first 5 times i watched this i seriously thought he was saying "he steals my odors" as in.. ehh.. his brother smells similarly to himself..
Now i'm wiser, thanks, lol :D
"So if you kill your enemies it is not sad. What if I killed my enemy Ryan at my job, it would not be sad? " - made an excellent point
"They put a bag on my head to take me to the safe-house, which made me stop thinking."
honestly, my favourite part #sensorybeings
Thats a underatted line
WOW DUDE. YOU WATCHED THE SAME VIDEO AS ME?
@@Magst3r1 This is the 200th comment I have personally counted that has said something similar. Congratulations, you get nothing.
@@Magst3r1 stfu
“Only soldiers can kill without getting into trouble.” Best line ever!
Well...
-- unless you are sly!
@@nonsequitor you're wrong on that... but it's statistically highly likely, that your mind is poisoned on the issue making you unwilling to revise silly prejudices...
@@PyrrhoVonHyperborea cops can literally kill someone and reporters will rush to find photos of that person smoking weed
@@thomas-cr4vy people who claim, unironically, that policemen can kill w/o getting into any trouble, are literally retarded.
@@nonsequitor last time I checked most police officers who kill when it's not necessary to defend themselves or others are fired and jailed
As an Autistic person, This is the kind of representation my people needs
I'm also autistic, and I couldn't agree more.😂
autistic+1
same
hahahaha
Oh my god everyone is autistic nowadays. I thought it was only on reddit.
The best detail in this skit is how the first detail Michael associates with his brother after where he lives is that he's good at Jenga. This explains Michael's obsession with stacking in the prison skit
Good catch!
Omg there’s Onion lore
I believed it was cuz he liked things arranged neatly in stacks
That’s actually a common trait autistic children exhibit
@@chonchjohnch that's the point, i didn't find any correlation because of this thing
The algorithm has a sick sense of humour
TELL ME ABOUT IT. IT'S LIKE WE ARE ALL IN A COSMIC COMEDY SKIT
Haha it’s not like this is something that happened like yesterday or anything lol!
@@RandomPerson13 algorithms, yes, alright, it makes sense. But tbh my concerns lay mainly on the Onion's premonitions that have been rung true again and again.
@@samahita-vca They make satire based off events happening at the time. This is just history repeating itself for the gazzilionth time.
People act like the algorithm doesn't just recommend popular videos based on what's being searched up rn. Lot of vids on Afghanistan is being made rn. That's why the algorithm recommended this
The tragic thing about this is the reporter is actually making a lot of good, empathetic points about the dehumanisation of soldiers in war, and the greater irony is that the only reason these points aren’t being taken more seriously by those around him is because of their prejudices about intelligence of the neurologically divergent. They assume he’s just dumb and doesn’t understand, when in reality he understands everything perfectly well.
Exactly. Well put!
very true
You do realize this is The Onion right?
@@uvu1282 Just because it’s the Onion doesn’t mean it can’t make a good point. Here, it’s using satire to make that really good point.
@@KubratKoz Hey, I’ve got a better idea! How about you piss off and spend your time doing something more worthwhile than openly insulting groups of people just because they think different. Trust me, you’ve got no idea how bad you look, it’s embarrassingly childish. Oh, and liking your own comments isn’t a good look either
The moment the cogs in his brain start turning when he's finding out that Talibans are always happy is top tier comedy.
They aren't happy in Kabul, though. Should have stayed in the countryside.
@@richardarriaga6271 cause Americans for sure stay in their countryside…
@@ferst262 Invasion happened after WTC attacks. If Al Queda and its enablers in the Taliban left US alone, nothing would have happened. Taliban would have had free reign the entire first two decades of 21st century.
@@ferst262Yeah but for them it was fun to go to war with America as the big bad aggressor. Now that they have control, they actually have to start doing mundane life-to-life shit in order to function as a people.
Of course, that can always be solved by going to war with Iran.
@SanctusPaulus-ic5gl you didn’t *have* to, you wanted to, and you still murder civilians for oil, not for pride… if you hadn’t been so dumb, no one would have hijacked your planes, yet you don’t improve your school system.
Kudos to the cultural accuracy by using pashto
Aren't the taliban from Afghanistan??
@@mirza6399 yes, and the majority of the Tabilan are Pashtuns, the largest ethnic group in Afghanistan, who speak pashto
That was some beautiful Pashto... his pronunciation is amazing.
@@guerillarice1129 there are many different groups that live in aghganistan. pashtuns are the largest.
@@tamacat920 thats.. what I said
I love how he speaks their language perfectly.
Savant taliban!
Chances are he became invested in their culture.....then did the autistic thing of studying for months on end
It's harder for me to tell cuz I don't speak Pashto but I love how he tries to keep the awkward speech pattern going when speaking it, also he seems way more relaxed during that interview probably cuz he had a bag over his head before so he wasn't over-stimmed the whole ride.
I speak pashto, he isn't that bad actually.
I didn't know pashto was a language until now...
The more you know 👍
@@Bee-tj8gc Did you know about the Pashtun people?
Also, he isn't particularly nervous about meeting the Taliban guy because he doesn't perceive him as a threat, or at least not any more than the US soldiers. He just sees him as another person to interview/report on (which he really is)
I'm autistic, and I really enjoy Michael! I was a bit skeptical at first, since so much autistic representation is done so poorly (especially in comedy), but he's pretty accurate! I often find myself confused by someone using indirect or unclear language, asking similar questions he does, and getting similar reactions. Obviously not all autistic people behave to the extent he does, but that's not really something that can be avoided in this case
@@capncake8837 I know a Pashtun guy.
He says that they are buddhists but were forced to convert to pislam by the sword 1400 years ago.
The actors playing the sergeant and the commander are underrated. They did a great job playing it straight.
Lol yup “Are you sad when the Taliban die?” “Uhhh.... no”
@@-fluffybunnies Underrated in terms of no one leaves YT comments about them.
@@-fluffybunnies it's a way to say you like something but in a way that you can say "oh I just mean it's _not bad_" if it so happens somebody disagrees with you
@@-fluffybunnies it almost comprehensively does make it underrated.
@@-fluffybunnies Are you Michael Falk?
Strangely the Onion got the ratio of Afghan to American deaths correct in the bombing the Kabul Airport, nearly 10 years after this video. I'm beginning to wonder if I should take those video with the Cthulhu tentacles coming out of the ground more seriously.
Were those the actual numbers?
@@leafsalami7583 The ratio
they werent predicting the future, they were just pointing at the present circumstances of their present day. the fact that its the same just means that nothing has changed
The only comedy series that owns the rights to predicting the future is The Simpsons.
@@BeardLADIf you had to create 266 hours of TV you could probably call a few shots as well. Trump had talked about running for office well before he ever actually tried in 2016. Maybe the work of a talented team should be indistinguishable from magic.
"only soldiers can kill people without getting in trouble" killed me
I laughed when he asked again if that soldier will kill Ryan.
Are the Onion soldiers? Otherwise they will get into trouble for this!
@zee first of all, accidental killings are not homicides, they're manslaughter. Second of all, the term homicide was never used. The term murder was never used. There are situations when people other than soldiers can kill and get away with it. There are situations where soldiers can kill and not get away with it. The joke is funny because the statement in the video is an oversimplification.
@zee touche, my understanding of the definition was wrong. You win.
And death penalty executioner
I would actually like to see this kind of reporting. Also impressed by Mr Falk's linguistic abilities.
That’s why he gets paid the big bucks
@@manicabawse2867 yep the big bucks.....9 years ago when the onion was still a channel that uploaded
@@ayderla789 What’s “Onion”?
@@guyincognito5663 the onion...
@@ayderla789 No, what’s onion ads?
As an autistic adult, I mean it sincerely when I say this is one of the best portrayals of an autistic adult out there in media.
"Are you going to kill Ryan?"
"...No."
You have to draw the line somewhere, and stealing Michael's yogurt is way over that said line. Stack their bodies next to those missing hikers.
Yeah, but you can make really big stacks of yogurt cups. You cannot really stack more than ten bodies on top of each other without additional supports. It makes for a worse stacking experience. Hence killing those bad men, while being a really great thing in itself and absolutely worth accomplishing, it will never replace the lost yogurt.
Their fortune telling is, per usual, astounding
I think this is brilliant. Michael's inability to understand the emotional content in news and confuse it with factual content which the news is supposed to deliver makes his character perfectly satirical. By 'misunderstanding' he shows the bullshit for what it is. Similar to the woman hit by a stray bullet story.
How are you doing? You wrote this 9 years ago!
@@MildlyHighDutchGuy so i'm not the only one here 9 years later
@@augustefrater662 not really
@@augustefrater662 the algorithm has spoken.
@@augustefrater662 mhh
Omg. I never noticed his "yes, no" check list of whether certain types of people dying makes people sad or not. He's working so hard to understand bless his heart.
Four soldiers
Mother
Brother
Neighbor
Taliban
Reporters
Fathers
Brothers
Bus Drivers
Enemies
Barack Obama
Ryan From Work
Police Officers
Teachers.
Good list
he’s such a sweetheart
I only just noticed Ryan was on his list
I'm still waiting to learn if it's sad when teachers die
It’s funny that teachers for him is indecisive
Unironically better reporter than most
"Join the Taliban and be happy all the time." So many lols.
how are you doing 9 years later
@@asgarihanif I bet he doesn't say "so many lols" anymore, but I hope he's still rofling somewhere
@@sauercrowder god bless our soldier, so many lols sent out
@@asgarihanif lmao
@@hugogonzalez1749 thats not a lol
As an autistic, I find shitty impressions of autistics offensive, this is brilliant!
Stormwern much better than big bang theory
@@OverzealousDuck think Skull Zone was talking about TBBT not these videos
Xladimir Xtriminovich I mean Sheldon was pretty accurate it’s just offensive how the show plays it like all four of them being creepy assholes is okay. Which has nothing to do with autism, just clarifying my problem with Big Bang Theory
I am Autistic too and I missed the part where it said Autistic reporter. I still knew he was Autistic.
@@edpankov big bang theory is better than catholic
This reminds me of how in English class (in the UK) one of the poems we had to memorize for GCSE english was about an american soldier opening fire the moment they saw some unarmed looters (I believe the detail of whether they were even looters was left vague), and seeing their wrangled corpses with zero respect piled in the back of a truck. The poem basically goes on about how upset he was for being in this country and killing civilians who had resorted to desperate measures to survive from a war his country created, and ptsd and such.
As sad as that all is, that what all these films, news articles and poems go over. Its basically soldiers saying “i felt bad when i was murdering your family”, they get a couple awards from it, and nobody tries to see what it was like for the people living in those countries. Imagine a documentary about the Holocaust, but it focused on how someone working at the concentration camp didnt feel too happy about it, but never goes over the victims of the Holocaust or their perspective.
Lmao I remember that, iirc the poet was a British soldier in Iraq and it seemed to be a real experience
Can still remember how he described punching holes in the looters
*memoriSe
@@notgadotLiterally nobody asked. MemoriZe is the American way. Cry harder.
I mean if Germany beats Russia we would probably read plenty about the holocaust from Germans, about how sad it was, that it had to be done, and Germany only won because it was done. And they would probably remind us how the Jews had attacked first. The victors will often soften their crimes as terrible but necessary, and obfuscate the truth as much as possible...this is why you can't find a reliable death toll from Iraq, Afghanistan, ISIS, Syria which was all a direct cause of American intervention. But I bet you can find the number killed in 9/11 in less than 5 seconds.
"Art is derived from….. the author's experiences!?!!!?"
Lol
IT
DOES
*NOT*
*_MAKE_*
*_S E N S E_*
I see you learned some markup..
@@xl000 Michael Falk's reporting makes sense to me.
TalentLacking why is editor larry here??? what a weird place to find you
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!
Suddenly David Byrne naming that documentary "Stop Making Sense" makes a lot of... well...
As a Pashtun, I approve the Pashto language with Talib commander. As always Gold standard video by Onion.
Is Michael Falk's Pashto correct?
@@frankthetank2550 exactly to the point in his own accent. He is genius. I wish he has more videos. Also Omar AL farouq the Alqueda spokesman 😁.
@@zh350 Good! Michael Falk is my favorite Onion reporter. I hope that he has more videos in the future.
damn im impressed
@@frankthetank2550 Michael Falk is my favorite -Onion- reporter.
As an Afghan, this is the only time I enjoyed when Americans talked about my country, and the reporter was so accurate with local language
But can you stack the soldiers
The first detail michael recalls about his brother is that he's good at jenga, explaining michael's obsession with stacking
@@selfloathinggameing i think the stacking thing doesn't souce from jenga but he remembers jenga because of the stacking thing
"only soldiers can kill, without getting in trouble."
Police officers walk into the room.
South america walks into the room
You know, there's this thing called Geneeva convention. But if you're an IDF soldier, you wouldn't be worried about it.
@Aweof Sophia999 lmao
@@hukama6911 Name me one Nation that has never broken the Geneva Convention, besides Switzerland.
This came to my mind when I saw an article talking about how 4 hostages were brought back from Gaza in an operation that killed 200 Gazans.
He joined the Taliban, stole a train, overrun Ryan and stacked him over the hikers bodies, so he got into prison and stack crates now. That's why we don't hear from Michael anymore. He finally made his dream come true. I'm happy for him.
The outro made me laugh. " I do not like it here, I am Micheal Faulk."
I know it's almost 10 years too late, but Michael Falk really needs his own show, or at least a series of webisodes. When I watched this I was still furiously reeling from a dispute with PayPal, but now they can just have my money and incur all the exorbitant fees that they want from my bank.
not sure what paypal has to do with this (genuinely) but he does have a series!!! look up "Michael falk" and there are 5 episodes with him
Dont give up on whats right bro
Maybe PayPal would bankroll his web series
If only The Onion continued doing segments like this today. So much shit they have to work with right now XD
They can't be funny any more. They're progressive democrats now. In fact, even making fun of autists isn't allowed.
@@Rozmic so much potential just swoosh gone just like that.
@@Rozmic That's not progressive, that's performative.
@@Rozmic Have you read any recent Onion articles, or are you just stupid?
Let me guess, you're one of those snowflake conservatives who can't handle a joke...
Now they do nottheonion and report on the truly stupid shit that's actually happening, life has become satire.
IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
So much can change in 11 years. The Onion used to be gold.
The body language is perfect lmao
Haha he moves and talk like Dr.Shaun Murphy from the Series "The Good Doctor"
@@obamalastname34 you make me irrationally angry
@@obamalastname34this aged well
the level of acting talent in these onion videos baffles me.
Some of the acting deserve some type of award. You can stream this on Netflix even though it's not current. I don't know why this stuff isn't syndicated on a major platform.
@@robertnicholls9917 because you need a kernel of truth to be funny . And the media entertainment industry is all out of truth
This is not just a sketch. This character is serious comedy-drama material. The actor plays it wonderfully.
When that one guy said "only soldiers can kill without getting in trouble" I thought the reporter was going to ask to join the army.
"Now I am like a brother, and I can kill... but I am sad"
I'm autistic and I find this series great :D
He's got a lot of good points
Ok I will give you the highest honor you could receive:
A SHORT BUS THAT SMELLS LIKE SHIT
@@guyguy7714 relying to a year old comment he doesn't give a fuck about with that? u funny
its replying
same
What does being autistic have to do with enjoying a series. We're the same people. tf
This aged like fine wine
I’m really impressed by Michael, the way how he speaks Pashtun.
But he is rude to me.
He steals my yogurts.
He makes fun of the way I talk.
Sounds like three strikes to me.
* goes to join some army *
holy fuck the algorithm has a dark timing sometimes
Yessir
Only God is Holy. "f*ck" is not Holy.
Outstanding report, FAIR and BALANCED news
1:42 "They put a bag on my head to take me to the safe house which made me stop thinking" hahaha, this guy is the best!
The people at The Onion aren't psychics... It's just our media is actually this pathetic.
That, and the Onion are actually psychics
Thanks youtube, 9 years too late and while we’re pulling out of Afghanistan. Almost like they wanted to remind you how much of a pointless war this was
We all knew that but the pullout was a fucking disaster.
@@halogeek6 The Taliban coming back to control was one of the few positive things about it I agree.
@@Planet.Xplor3r thats not what i said at all. But you keep towing the line for your ethnocratic theological overlords. Im sure your god isnt just a made up means of cobtrolling the populace lik3 every other religion out. No no no! Out of all the contradictory religions yours is the only true one.
Damn, imagine not being able to understand that people have different perspectives than you. That's gotta suck.
@@kadevanschindel5218 what? they just stated their opinion on the war??
I love this man with my whole heart he makes it so easy to understand things
the algorithm is absolutely ruthless
Michael Falk does have a point. If you are going to be sad about deaths, you should be consistent.
*Therefore we should all join the Taliban so that we can be happy about dying together*
Because death is God’s will
And if you steal someone's yogurt and make fun of the way they speak US marines should be dispatched to deal with you
But they’re taliban soldiers
@@pluspens2134 But you're a white guy whose country has killed over 1 million civillians in a few years compared to the Taliban actually getting support from their people.
See how racism is complete bullshit yet?
He was speaking pashto not Arabic. Not everyone in the middle East is an Arab
Saul Murillo in Afghanistan they speak pashtun! Afghanistan is not middle East it is central asia
obviously..
@@innvisibowl Apparently yes
@@edpankov iraq and saudi are part of west asia and egypt is a part of north africa yet people would refer to the region as the middle east. its more of a political term than anything especially when people refer to the middle east as the islamic countries in north africa and some parts of asia
Saul Murillo
Not all Arabs speak the same language.
We need autistic reporter Michael Falk to report on Gaza and Israel please
i will never understand how war is a logical next step to anything
Like... stacking things in prison?
... stacking bodies?
... contemplating ways to make Ryan stop taking your yoghurts or make fun of the way you talk?
... or for a lack of living space in the east?
War is an art to perfect. real art, not that trash you'd in museums designed to make you lazy and thoughtless, in the sweat of the battlefield and under the gust of the artillery, there men die and are reborn anew.
@@unsrescyldas9745 choke on the fattest dong
I mean he is not wrong
This is the worst time TH-cam would Reccomend something
For does who don’t know the language the guy speak perfect Pashto. He probably went to learn the language to make this two minutes video. Extra respect ✊ for his effort
TH-cam just has a habit of recommending videos at the right time, doesn't it?
Man this aged like wine!
TH-cam recommendations has a cruel sense of humor
Yikes
9 years latter, his sacrifice was in vain
LMAO!! WTF, Hilarious "He eats my yogurts and makes fun of the way I talk" LOL
I ran into a dude at the gym from high school and he reminded me of this guy... He disturbed me with his brutal honesty. I told him that I'd been "laying low", and he wanted me to elaborate on this. "Laying low from what?" It got me thinking and actually motivated me. Here was this kid that I had taken for autistic and actually, he was so smart and bizarre that he just didn't fit in with anybody else. Well yeah, he is autistic, but this is the most mysterious type of intelligence...
How did it go with him?
TH-cam had no chill recommending this one
I'm sad there aren't more Michael Faulk videos than the hand full that exist here...
You should join the Taleban! Then you would understand that the scarcity of Falk's videos is the will of Allah and will be joyful instead of sad!
Weird that the algorithm would recommend this NOW
When the title said Afghanis, I thought they were talking about Afghani civilians. So I thought this was going to be a story about how news organizations will often talk about the tragic death of a few American soldiers stationed in a foreign country like Afghanistan, then also mention in a sentence or two how a couple dozen civilians in said foreign country also died, kind of glossing over it. However, it was something very different. But I am not disappointed. It is always great to see a video with Michael Falk.
This aged well
This man really learned Pashto/Dari (don't speak either so can't tell the difference) for a single interview, what a lad
This aged...well it certainly aged
Good thing I checked the upload date before commenting
It’s hilarious but it basically explains how murder is murder
Can't imagine why this would come up in my feed now.
This age well, like a fine wine.
I love how he suddenly speaks fluent Pashto out of nowhere
This hits different now.
Aged like fine wine.
Aged like a landmine
According to this guy: How to fight depression:
_J O I N...T H E...T A L I B A N_
I'm just amazed that you figure out how to make TH-cam show font that big.. damn 😆
oh Onion you did it again
Good timing for my recommendations
man this video became so relevant
Ikr
You guys wanna convert to Taliban? I'm comin with Michael.
This sure aged well.
This aged like a fine wine.
The timing of the algorithm is really amazing
I’m autistic and this is comedy genius - him being a language savant but then telling us to join the Taliban was brilliant
You should watch his report on prison 😂
This raises important questions! We should probably show this at schools to generate discussion!
It's actually a very clever philosophical skit.
I hope all these writers, producers and actors are living well because a lot of their Onion work were masterpieces.
Aged well
Wdym? This war has literally been happening for decades, It endings doesn't change much for the joke
Still not missing 9 years later
As soon as he was going to meet the Taliban, i couldn't stop laughing ... I knew he was going to get brain frigged