@@Martcaptyou make a great point. With the advent of Trumpism, and over the top far left craziness, we see how many of our fellow citizens are crazy and not too bright. The people in the middle are busy trying to hold this crap together.
But they don’t share mutual goals? One side just wants to exist, while the other side wants total control and to steal land and homes without repercussions. Painting them as two sides of the same coin inhumane in itself. The fact one side has the power to cut off food/water/energy whenever they feel like it should make the imbalanced situation quite clear, but do correct me if I’m wrong about this please
@@tobsmonster2 you're definitely right about the power imbalance but it's also true that the ones in power on both sides want to completely eradicate everyone on the other. The international community, including Israel led to the conditions that the civilians in the region are now suffering for
@@tobsmonster2 apparently the people who "just wanted to exist" just treated a concert for peace in the middle of the desert as a shooting gallery cum hostage hunting grounds, raped and killed a bunch of innocent tourist who attended said concert (which, again, was held in hope for peace), and then still proceeded to murder children and grandmas just because they're Israeli citizens. one of them even took the time to record a video of the grandma's dead body before posting it on her facebook account. truly the act of people who just wanted to exist
Oh my freaking god. Onion videos are literally a time capsule used to be recommended for all the right reasons... 10 years into the future every single time.
Andoni: Netanyahu is “Satan YAh u” that is to say “Satan God (Yah) U” He is the “man of lawlessness” mentioned in 2 Thessalonians 2. He is the “son of perdition”. And as soon as he finishes building the “third temple” and sacrificing “red cows” to “conjure” Dajjal(SATAN), he will receive all of the Powers of Dajjal and declare himself to be GOD. 2 Thessalonians 2:1 - 17 1Now concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered together to Him, we ask you, brothers,2not to be easily disconcerted or alarmed by any spirit or message or letter seeming to be from us, alleging that the Day of the Lord has already come. 3Let no one deceive you in any way, for it will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness-the son of destruction-is revealed. 4He will oppose and exalt himself above every so-called god or object of worship. So he will seat himself in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God. 5Do you not remember that I told you these things while I was still with you?6And you know what is now restraining him, so that he may be revealed at the proper time. 7For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work, but the one who now restrains it will continue until he is taken out of the way. 8And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will slay with the breath of His mouth and annihilate by the majesty of His arrival. 9The coming of the lawless one will be accompanied by the working of Satan, with every kind of power, sign, and false wonder, 10and with every wicked deception directed against those who are perishing, because they refused the love of the truth that would have saved them.11For this reason God will send them a powerful delusion so that they believe the lie, 12in order that judgment may come upon all who have disbelieved the truth and delighted in wickedness.
le unbiased le unbiased MOAR LIKE *UNBASED*!!!!!! FUCK UNBIASED REPORTING I WANT FULL TILT DEMAGOUGRY AT ALL TIMES ON MY NEWS MEDIA WHOS WITH ME?????????
@granudisimo right. Not to make this ugly but it was disgusting how the media span a narrative a few days back that babies were getting b□□headed. Later to be revealed it was a lie
I'm with Israel, 1000%. When you celebrate things like Pulse, Charlie Hebdo, Bataclan, and 9/11, I have no sympathy. No tears for terror. The sad part? I used to be Pro-Palestine. Until Pulse. I forgave everything else until I realize just how much they consider me less than. The muslim world, including Palestine, celebrated the slaying of people like me. So honestly? I do not care. Israel existing didn't make them homophobic. They did that all on their own. And you know what's funny? No muslims ever refute this unless it's to state that they do, in fact, think I am not a person. Kinda weird, isn't it? 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
@DDRWakaLaka I definitely understand you. It was the same event that gave me enough courage to stop living in the closet. I'm now curious though...what is the other side's position on us?
@@cam4636 Or during 700-900Ce when the islamists started the first genocide against the house of israel because they wanted to upgrade from their mud hits to the homes of the people in the city of jerusalem, or again in 1000-1300Ce when Europe got in on the genocide of the jews for a bit. Then again in the 1930s when europe remembered how the liked genociding jews. Almost like this could have all been avoided if a certain religion didn't exist, you know the one... calls for the death and dismemberment of ALL non believers starting with the jews. Gee I wonder if they ever attacked athiests, agnostics, christians, ect... naw they prolly have no vision of world conquest or anything like that. Oh well, I guess their lgbt program is pretty cool. I mean what gay kid doesn't want to fly?
If i pick Israel, i'm an islamophope and a zionist. If i pick Palestine, i'm a neonazi and an antisemite. So I have to ask myself the question...why not both?
dahulius It's like picking a sports team to root for in a low league in a sport you don't care about. You want the game to be over already, so it's more entertaining to pick one, root for the losing team, fall asleep, and never find out who won, not that it would matter at all in the grand scheme of things.
UN engineering something that actually works is credit they don't deserve lol. Last time they tried it was police action in Korea to stop Chinese from making a puppet state with russia-born Kim emperor at the helm.
it’s a liberal argument ommitting key facts. Like this is euro-colonial project started by the british. Or the power imbalance between Israel, the nation-state with a military funded by the US, versus Palestineans, a ragtag group of refugees in camps. Or Israel’s consistent slaughter and kidnapping of random palestineans every months for decades. It’s a liberal take on the conflict that bothsides everything to cover for Israel
The UN was just a victory lap for the victorious Allied powers, of which the British were one. The real players were the US, UK, France, Russia and China. On other geopolitical issues Russia and China counterbalance the NATO countries but on the Israel Palestine issue they don’t really offer any real pushback aside from rhetoric
"So forget about the ingrained hate and blodlust and just be you: Palestinians and Israelis. You are doing a great job and we couldn't be prouder of both of you!"
"Taking up rollerblading, building a ship in a bottle, negotiating a ceasefire built on 1967 borders - all of these are wonderful ways to keep yourself active and healthy" Onion gives best self-help advice
@@theturbotickler rollerblading?!? Uncultured swine!! You’ve obviously never built any ships in any bottles before….my ring finger cramped up from one I did back in 2017….it’s never been the same since…I still haven’t given up on my passion though.
Careful with so-called documentaries... They can be very biased depending on who made them. I recommmend a 16 minute video by ReallyGraceful called "What Christians Aren't Taught About Zionism"
how is it good though, they portray it as if its 2 equal sides meanwhile one stole and still steals the land of the other and is oppressing them for decades
It gets it wrong on Israel’s goals, as we know Israel can achieve those goals militarily. It hasn’t, therefore we can know that those are not Israel’s goals. Whereas the same is not true for Palestine/HAMAS, which does not have the capability to wipe out Israel, although ideology wise would if they could.
@@janhenrik4170 Palestine steals land too just look at the current map, both of them are invading eachother. Now, the only reason I support Israel is because another Muslim state won't do the world any good.
except that Israel has made attempts towards peace. Theyve given land to Palestinians, and have offered a two state solution which has been rejected by the Palestinians.
@@tc98826your misinformation is laughable. They knew about the Hamas attacks. Do you really believe two of the most morally bankrupt, bankrolled intelligence agencies (cia and mossad) wouldn’t know about the hamas attack? They have been wanting it for years. They needed an excuse to flatten Gaza and continue their genocide.
@@tc98826even people in the IDF are suspicious. You’re a gullible cucklord if you believe Israel ever had any intention of not killing every Palestinian they could get their hands on. That’s why they gave them 24 hours to leave and at the same time bombed the exit.
no it's not... israel has literally been occupying, terrorizing, and killing palestinian for 70+ years. palestinian's can't even have official citizenship. please do some reading. this is not about religion. @@omppusolttu5799
Its perfect except I think it fails to say that the palestins existed before israel and that israel only came to be through the support of the west and it for some reason equates both sides civilians with their corresponding leadership. I think its pretty unfair that refugees claimed and conquered a country they took refuge in.
@@Xeadrielthat’d be way to provocative and one sided a message to keep the satire video neutral. You’d just get hate filled comment sections about both sides claiming their true rights to land instead of a comedy, you can go to any other proper biased news site for that.
Every time, every fucking time without fail. Old videos get belched up because the subject is relevant again and people are like "omggg this was so ahead of their time!!!" no, dude, this shit was as relevant back then as it is right now.
@@firewhite wdym? U realise Palestinians democratically elected Hamas, a party whose aim is Jewish extermination. Does that sound like a people who want a two state solution? And that Israel has given land to Palestinians (Gaza), with free water and electricity, and foreign governments have given them billions, and all has been used to buy weapons to attack Israel?
Agreed. At first I was happy to see their new tiktok series because it brings them back into the limelight.... but the comedy in those just doesn't hit the same and forcing the short-form content is frustrating.
"lived in Israel" and "learning both sides and opinions". That doesn't make sense does it. It won't until you see the burnt faces of dead Palestinian children.
@@Dimmary yeah being thrown out of your home and being subjected to imprisonment and lack of freedom of movement by foreigners is a stupid cause to fight.
Though thoroughly amused by the endless carnage, i am concerned about the unhealthy levels of interest our politicians are taking in it... don't they know you aren't supposed to pick a side?
Protester19 I agree. They should remain as a neutral spectator and just watch the neverending bloodshead. If they pick a side the effort of UN just goes to waste.
Protester19 'our' as in American politicians? and the USA hasn't kept out of the business of other countries since WW2. Vietnam, Korea, Iraq, etc, all that crap had nothing to do with the USA and we waste the lives of our military for virtually nothing but for some reason we call that nothing 'freedom'. I respect those with a strong love of our country and who want to represent it via the military but this country goes to war on a whim constantly. The last time America's freedom was in jeopardy was during WW2, ever since then it's about $. I guess the silver lining is we always have experienced and combat trained soldiers since we're constantly at war. I hear a lot of people complaining about how we treat our war vets, well, most of those vets shouldn't even have ever seen war.
Foxden How can you call Samsung nothing? As we all know Samsung would never have happened under North Korea. Now we can enjoy the functionality of our Samsung S6, while controlling our Samsung refrigerator from our office and making sure the dryness of our linens without actually going to our Samsung Washer Dryer combo?
***** Haven't you been paying attention? After the allies won the war. The UN wanted a longer term amusement. And the video clearly states that won't be possible if politicians keep picking sides.
+Eddy Weddy at least it provides lots and lots of amusement for the rest of the world. The lizard people and fish people did a great job in orchestrating this conflict for the snake people, bird men and pig men to place bets on. And as a pig man I placed my bets on the wrong side. I will lose half of my planets on this... my wife is not amused... then again she is a lizard, she is never amused by me. 😧
@@mojewjewjew4420 The international political landscape is quite frozen in some aspects anyways, which is why the Onion's satire somehow keeps ringing true - simply because of the fact that no one (at least no one in power or no cohesive force significant enough to enact change) wants to change this stupid status quo.
@@Moptop2 yeah i know. But it is built on hate and mindless attachment to vengence and victory. Neither hamas nor the israeli government give a monkeys about the people, just winning.
I mean, Israel literally gave Palestine up some of its land at the UN’s request, because it wanted this to end and to live side by side with Palestine. Really, it’s Palestine keeping this going.
@@L333gok What a stupid analysis. As a reminder, Israel was a creation of the West after WWII (1948) and Israel started colonizing Palestine during that same year. They have no right to Palestinian land, the only sensible solution would be the dissolution of the already-illegal Israeli state and to give the land back to the Palestinians who, by all accounts, have lived in the Levant for over 1,300 years. Source: Any history book, google
@@L333gokThat land was arguably stolen from Palestine not long before that, but I'm no expert. It seems to be very complicated conflict after reading through the whole history on Wikipedia.
The sheer production quality of these FREE videos from 8 years ago leaves me saddened that they haven't really produced anything to this level in many years. But I am glad I did know they existed.
Be careful about using "its" and "it's" interchangeably. "It's" makes it seem like you just realized, from the conversation, that the Onion makes satire, instead of what you actually meant to say.
@@OLBastholmOh those pesky little misplaced commas! I used to warn my students that they were one of the things that enrich lawyers by changing intended meanings in contracts.
Well I guess a majority of Israelis and Jews wouldn't agree (and maybe call us anti-semitic (Palestinians are semites, too, btw.)). Cynic me, having watched 40 plus years of absolutely useless violence in that region agrees, laughs, but is also very sad.
"Israelis and Palestinian leaders see the same solution to the problem" Me: See! So sit down and make peace with one another. "Build a nation over the corpses of the enemy" Me: Oh- ...
This is a lie, Palestinians don’t think this. All they want is freedom. Israel has imposed a blockade of all water, food and electricity. They have dropped over 6000 bombs on Gaza within the past few days. They ordered 1million people from north Gaza to evacuate and bombed them when they did.
@@barryallen871 If so, hopefully no 🇮🇱 either. I hope the world sees them for who they really are this time. Skepticism has gone up significantly due to years of being lied to by MSM.
that is completely correct. most israelies and palestinians just want to live in peace. small group escalate the conflicts, hamas uses his religious ideology to shoot missiles at civillians, and religious jews settle in west bank areas, which have a large arab population. both sides are to blame. only when we will get over our history we wiil be able to make peace
Lmao love it! This is why the Onion is legendary, this video is just as relevant today as it was almost a decade ago. Sad part is, it is probably going to be relevant for the rest of the 21st century as well.
the more you know about the relevant negotiations, the more you realize how brilliant the setup in the "What solutions are favored by each side?" segment beginning at 1:07 is
@@JeanPaulBeaubier I agree.* But nor do the majority of Israelis.** That being said Hamas the group with the most political and military control within philistine has repeatedly made clear that they don't recognize Israel's existence and In their charter of 1988 clames explicitly their goal to destroy Israel. I think it is reasonable to assume that the onion failed to make the distinction between the Palestinian people and Hamas In the interest of brevity and to preserve the satire. *I think It is hard to know the true feelings of Palestinians due to lack of good pulling of functioning democracy. I take my stance hear more from befit of the doubt **as evidenced by the high disapproval of both Netanyahu and the military's invasion.
@@JeanPaulBeaubier The UN stepped in and offered a 50/50 land split and palestine attacked over it, palestine's not trying either and the video is accurate
This is where I get my up-to-date information on the Israeli Palestinian conflict
this video aged so well
I saw this in my recommended, and was like, “here we go again”
I love it when something happens and TH-cam starts to recommend the relevant Onion video
What's sad and funny at the same time? This is still a video that they could have released today and it would be JUST as fitting.
@@FelixUmbra which one is that
The fact that 9 years later I can barely tell if this was made yesterday.
Might as well. Today it's harder to satirize anything because everything is just... (hand waves)
@@Martcaptyou make a great point. With the advent of Trumpism, and over the top far left craziness, we see how many of our fellow citizens are crazy and not too bright. The people in the middle are busy trying to hold this crap together.
I found out it wasn't a recent post through your comment 😂
Nine, nineteen and eventually it will be ninety nine years.
The conflict is nearing its end, and so is The onion
That part about the two sides both sharing "mutual goals" was pure brilliance
The same goal but different gods!
But they don’t share mutual goals?
One side just wants to exist, while the other side wants total control and to steal land and homes without repercussions. Painting them as two sides of the same coin inhumane in itself.
The fact one side has the power to cut off food/water/energy whenever they feel like it should make the imbalanced situation quite clear, but do correct me if I’m wrong about this please
@@tobsmonster2 you're definitely right about the power imbalance but it's also true that the ones in power on both sides want to completely eradicate everyone on the other. The international community, including Israel led to the conditions that the civilians in the region are now suffering for
@@tobsmonster2 apparently the people who "just wanted to exist" just treated a concert for peace in the middle of the desert as a shooting gallery cum hostage hunting grounds, raped and killed a bunch of innocent tourist who attended said concert (which, again, was held in hope for peace), and then still proceeded to murder children and grandmas just because they're Israeli citizens. one of them even took the time to record a video of the grandma's dead body before posting it on her facebook account. truly the act of people who just wanted to exist
@@tobsmonster2 zionists and hams both think like mustache man. if hams had the power make no mistake they would do the very same thing
The Onion: The best source of current news from 8 years ago.
Holy shit your so right and in a funny way too rofl
lol
They even told you about their ability to tell news from the future mane. They weren’t joking.
This is still 100% accurate, and will always be.
Yet they won't release the JFK files.
I was two and a half minutes into this before I realised it was made eight years ago. It’s comforting to know some things in life are timeless.
Yeah, but life itself is not timeless.
I watched it all. Good thing I looked at the comments to realize this is actually 8 years old.
same haha@@thechoephix
Because the onion died. Big ripperonis onion, we’ll always miss you
@@jamesarnette1394if we remember the people then we can truly say that they are immortal
Oh my freaking god. Onion videos are literally a time capsule used to be recommended for all the right reasons... 10 years into the future every single time.
have you seen the video they released after obama was elected? their coverage of the firey ball of rage that the republicans nominated was spot on.
Also sometimes Brian Huskey (Regular Size Rudy from Bob's Burgers) is in them
They're not a time capsule, things just don't change
@@brettvogel8418Now there are GoPros with atrocities
No you dipsh*t American, the conflict has been the same for decades. Just you who learned about it this week.
”Global leaders worked tirelessly to engineer a conflict so intractable that it could last indefinitely” I see no lies here
Never thought i'd consider The Onion as a legitimate news source, but...reality has become a clownshow.
It's funny because it's true 😢
Watch 'Twilights Last Gleaming' with Burt Lancaster for some perspective.
Sadly I feel like alot of the onions jokes hide better news in them then our news channels would ever be willing to talk about its kinda funny tho
Andoni:
Netanyahu is “Satan YAh u” that is to say “Satan God (Yah) U”
He is the “man of lawlessness” mentioned in 2 Thessalonians 2. He is the “son of perdition”.
And as soon as he finishes building the “third temple” and sacrificing “red cows” to “conjure” Dajjal(SATAN), he will receive all of the Powers of Dajjal and declare himself to be GOD.
2 Thessalonians 2:1 - 17
1Now concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered together to Him, we ask you, brothers,2not to be easily disconcerted or alarmed by any spirit or message or letter seeming to be from us, alleging that the Day of the Lord has already come. 3Let no one deceive you in any way, for it will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness-the son of destruction-is revealed. 4He will oppose and exalt himself above every so-called god or object of worship. So he will seat himself in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God.
5Do you not remember that I told you these things while I was still with you?6And you know what is now restraining him, so that he may be revealed at the proper time. 7For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work, but the one who now restrains it will continue until he is taken out of the way. 8And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will slay with the breath of His mouth and annihilate by the majesty of His arrival.
9The coming of the lawless one will be accompanied by the working of Satan, with every kind of power, sign, and false wonder, 10and with every wicked deception directed against those who are perishing, because they refused the love of the truth that would have saved them.11For this reason God will send them a powerful delusion so that they believe the lie, 12in order that judgment may come upon all who have disbelieved the truth and delighted in wickedness.
It was really nice seeing you all again, see you in another few years!
k
😂😂😂
Its wild when the Onion is now one of the most unbiased news sources there is
What strange times we live in. I guess it's not boring?
>implying it hasn't always been
Me when I'm a moron
@@Sam-sj5hw 🤓🤓🤓
le unbiased le unbiased MOAR LIKE *UNBASED*!!!!!! FUCK UNBIASED REPORTING I WANT FULL TILT DEMAGOUGRY AT ALL TIMES ON MY NEWS MEDIA WHOS WITH ME?????????
Was just about to watch a 2 hour documentary on the conflict but this is far more digestable. Thanks for the neutral reporting!
Not just more digestible, but also informative than 80% of mainstream media sources on the conflict.
@granudisimo right. Not to make this ugly but it was disgusting how the media span a narrative a few days back that babies were getting b□□headed. Later to be revealed it was a lie
Indeed. Straight to the point.
I'm with Israel, 1000%.
When you celebrate things like Pulse, Charlie Hebdo, Bataclan, and 9/11, I have no sympathy. No tears for terror.
The sad part? I used to be Pro-Palestine. Until Pulse. I forgave everything else until I realize just how much they consider me less than. The muslim world, including Palestine, celebrated the slaying of people like me.
So honestly? I do not care.
Israel existing didn't make them homophobic. They did that all on their own.
And you know what's funny? No muslims ever refute this unless it's to state that they do, in fact, think I am not a person. Kinda weird, isn't it? 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
@DDRWakaLaka I definitely understand you.
It was the same event that gave me enough courage to stop living in the closet.
I'm now curious though...what is the other side's position on us?
I know that this video is satirical, and makes no factual statements whatsoever, but I find this video to be biased against whatever side I support.
So it's biased against Israel?
@@mrm2542 careful..
As Lenin said useful idiots
as voltare said "to find out who rules over you, merely ask who you cannot criticize"
fluoride Good4You Transgendered people??
This aged EXCEPTIONALLY well.
It's been going on for 75 years
They never change.
This conflict has been the same for decades, only now has it reached global attention.
@@rsync9490 And people are noticing.
Israelis and Palestinians, we are proud of both of you ☪️✡️
The TH-cam algorithm has an interesting sense of humor.
Fr lmfao
Maybe AI is more honest than we are.
Lol its spot on
I was wondering why this came to my feed.
Until I watched it.
In this case, IA reaches a new level : sense of desperation
This is the calmest comment section about Israel/Palestine I've come across this week.
Please don’t tell the flag emoji people about this video 😩
@@TofuTeo Save Porn
@@TofuTeo kuslims?
@@TofuTeo🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
🇪🇭
This could’ve been made at any point in the last decade. Truly timeless fun
*last century
@@Escap1st7 *after 1948
@@xCorvus7x *After 1967
Like so many Onion videos.
Truly visionary
@@cam4636 Or during 700-900Ce when the islamists started the first genocide against the house of israel because they wanted to upgrade from their mud hits to the homes of the people in the city of jerusalem, or again in 1000-1300Ce when Europe got in on the genocide of the jews for a bit. Then again in the 1930s when europe remembered how the liked genociding jews.
Almost like this could have all been avoided if a certain religion didn't exist, you know the one... calls for the death and dismemberment of ALL non believers starting with the jews. Gee I wonder if they ever attacked athiests, agnostics, christians, ect... naw they prolly have no vision of world conquest or anything like that. Oh well, I guess their lgbt program is pretty cool. I mean what gay kid doesn't want to fly?
I love how the onion avoids controversy by reporting on things 8 years before they happen
It's been happening for 75 years, wdym before they happened?
This has been going on for decades? What do you mean?
America has always been at war with Eurasia what are you talking about?
@@Sephaos no, America has been at war with Eastasia
They joked about 9/11 not even a week after it happened
Sarcasm cuts through the propaganda like a razor blade.
Satire, my fren.
@@goofballbiscuits3647same thing dummy
@@goofballbiscuits36477 years late, my fren.
I'm just a random person who came to sneak in this comment section. Please ignore me, my fren.
@@mixedtv7083i ate leftovers tonight, just thought of letting you know mixedtv7083
Be sure to ask me anything tomorrow
This video is now relevant again, and continues to remain very accurate despite being made 8 years ago
Oh my gosh! I totally thought it was new!
@@llamalinguist3250 dude how
Bro had no history class@@exoZelia
It's still accurate after 8 years because nothing has changed between them since it started
It typically takes about a decade for reality to catch up with the Onion, but this one has been up-to-date for well over half a century now.
If i pick Israel, i'm an islamophope and a zionist. If i pick Palestine, i'm a neonazi and an antisemite. So I have to ask myself the question...why not both?
as in: nuke them both and be done with it?
dahulius It's like picking a sports team to root for in a low league in a sport you don't care about. You want the game to be over already, so it's more entertaining to pick one, root for the losing team, fall asleep, and never find out who won, not that it would matter at all in the grand scheme of things.
Zandonus Why not Zoidberg?
Zandonus
you must be an Israeli settler then(zionazi islamophobe that hates secular and/or moderate jews:)
+hejustleft Yep, the Palestinians need to stop fighting it and just let it happen.
Israel seems like an allegory for rape, tbh.
Hilarious. My one quibble is that they gave credit for engineering an endless conflict to the UN when that prize truly belongs to the British.
UN engineering something that actually works is credit they don't deserve lol. Last time they tried it was police action in Korea to stop Chinese from making a puppet state with russia-born Kim emperor at the helm.
hear, hear!
Another endless conflict waged by the british was india and pakistan
it’s a liberal argument ommitting key facts. Like this is euro-colonial project started by the british. Or the power imbalance between Israel, the nation-state with a military funded by the US, versus Palestineans, a ragtag group of refugees in camps. Or Israel’s consistent slaughter and kidnapping of random palestineans every months for decades. It’s a liberal take on the conflict that bothsides everything to cover for Israel
The UN was just a victory lap for the victorious Allied powers, of which the British were one. The real players were the US, UK, France, Russia and China. On other geopolitical issues Russia and China counterbalance the NATO countries but on the Israel Palestine issue they don’t really offer any real pushback aside from rhetoric
"So forget about the ingrained hate and blodlust and just be you: Palestinians and Israelis. You are doing a great job and we couldn't be prouder of both of you!"
If Keith David from Community was negotiating with the two.
@@marsneedstowelsWere it so easy
could not be prouder of them ❤❤❤
Thanks, I also saw the video
Ong😂
"Taking up rollerblading, building a ship in a bottle, negotiating a ceasefire built on 1967 borders - all of these are wonderful ways to keep yourself active and healthy"
Onion gives best self-help advice
One is not so healthy. You could injure yourself!
@@davidl.e5203 yeah i almost twisted my ankle rollerblading
@@theturbotickler rollerblading?!? Uncultured swine!! You’ve obviously never built any ships in any bottles before….my ring finger cramped up from one I did back in 2017….it’s never been the same since…I still haven’t given up on my passion though.
@@theturboticklerlies!
That's just Zionist/Islamist propaganda.
Yeesh, that sounds scary! Should probably stick my ceasefires.
No matter what’s in the news, there’s a decade old onion video about it doing a better job at explaining it that any documentary.
Careful with so-called documentaries... They can be very biased depending on who made them. I recommmend a 16 minute video by ReallyGraceful called "What Christians Aren't Taught About Zionism"
how is it good though, they portray it as if its 2 equal sides meanwhile one stole and still steals the land of the other and is oppressing them for decades
@@janhenrik4170yeah yeah
It gets it wrong on Israel’s goals, as we know Israel can achieve those goals militarily. It hasn’t, therefore we can know that those are not Israel’s goals. Whereas the same is not true for Palestine/HAMAS, which does not have the capability to wipe out Israel, although ideology wise would if they could.
@@janhenrik4170 Palestine steals land too just look at the current map, both of them are invading eachother. Now, the only reason I support Israel is because another Muslim state won't do the world any good.
This aged like fine wine. Probably was water 15min before.
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
8 years later, this is still the best summary of the conflict out on the internet.
And It will remain so for all eternity.
except that Israel has made attempts towards peace. Theyve given land to Palestinians, and have offered a two state solution which has been rejected by the Palestinians.
@@tc98826your misinformation is laughable. They knew about the Hamas attacks. Do you really believe two of the most morally bankrupt, bankrolled intelligence agencies (cia and mossad) wouldn’t know about the hamas attack? They have been wanting it for years. They needed an excuse to flatten Gaza and continue their genocide.
@@tc98826even people in the IDF are suspicious. You’re a gullible cucklord if you believe Israel ever had any intention of not killing every Palestinian they could get their hands on. That’s why they gave them 24 hours to leave and at the same time bombed the exit.
@@tc98826 how generous of them 😐 you might've forgotten the settlements in West Bank and the complete blockade of Gaza, though
For a satirical news outlet, this maybe the most accurate depiction of the current situation in Israel and Palestine
This is satire right
@@cooperlloyd2494 Yeah it is, but the whole "both sides have a mutual goal" is actually pretty accurate.
no it's not... israel has literally been occupying, terrorizing, and killing palestinian for 70+ years. palestinian's can't even have official citizenship. please do some reading. this is not about religion. @@omppusolttu5799
@@cooperlloyd2494dawg
@@cooperlloyd2494satire requires the core of truth.
I thought The Onion was supposed to make satire, this is just actual history
I thought so too, I was confused.
Sometimes reality is more funny than satire
Its perfect except I think it fails to say that the palestins existed before israel and that israel only came to be through the support of the west and it for some reason equates both sides civilians with their corresponding leadership. I think its pretty unfair that refugees claimed and conquered a country they took refuge in.
@@Xeadrielthat’d be way to provocative and one sided a message to keep the satire video neutral.
You’d just get hate filled comment sections about both sides claiming their true rights to land instead of a comedy, you can go to any other proper biased news site for that.
@@Xeadriel You're under an Onion video my guy
Finally, a news source we could trust
"Could"? What's holding you back, the logo?
Rising sea levels will have the last laugh.
+Belal DarkneSS if see levels don't get you then the extreme heat, famine, lack of drinkable water and disease will get you, ha. Try again.
not really, the israel territory is hundreds of meters above sea level
Same we need to focus on climate change instead of things that don't actually matter it's the end of the world I'm sure of it
@Belal DarkneSS "Fuck you," says Mother Nature, as every single mountain simultaneously turns into an active super-volcano.
Palestine is a hilly region you losers will be the first to fall
Give it another 10 years and this video will still be just as accurate.
Try a hundred
This depends on if Israeli government goes through with their plan of annihilating Gaza entirely.
@@Wofulrumble4893 It will still apply to the West Bank then. Israel has no goal to stop its expansion on Palestinian land.
I think this is the final straw, Israel looks like theyre going all out now till Gaza is destroyed
Gotta reach the 100 years of war milestone!
"Blood must be shed if we are to have an enjoyable time. There is no alternative".
So true.
🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
This video is always up to date. 50 year ago, 50 year into the future, you can always watch this one for an update on the situation.
🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
The Onion is way ahead of his time in providing up to date information.
They report on things that will happen in the future
@@sir_dragonfly7287 i thought it was things that will happen in the _past_ ...
What's happening now is nothing new. It's just the size of the initial attack that was bigger
It's been like this for 75 years. Y'all just didn't care.
Every time, every fucking time without fail. Old videos get belched up because the subject is relevant again and people are like "omggg this was so ahead of their time!!!" no, dude, this shit was as relevant back then as it is right now.
Dibs on this video still being accurate in 25 years
@@markmcelroy1872 I literally came here to say this verbatim, shit
Just 22 years to go
21 years left!
Still going strong!
20 more years to go.
Yet another example of when comedians do a better job of journalism than journalists.
not really. Israel has repeatedly offered a two state state solution but Palestinians rejected it.
@@tc98826good old propaganda eh
@@firewhite wdym? U realise Palestinians democratically elected Hamas, a party whose aim is Jewish extermination. Does that sound like a people who want a two state solution? And that Israel has given land to Palestinians (Gaza), with free water and electricity, and foreign governments have given them billions, and all has been used to buy weapons to attack Israel?
Most comedy seems to be telling the straight-up truth when everyone else is pretending it ISN'T true.
@@tc98826 True. They want it ALL. What a Mess.
The Onion used to be top tier satire. It needs to come back
Crazy how reality seems more satire than the onion
You need to see their latest post exposing the ridiculous lies or the Zionist state its priceless
Satire is dead unfortunately
They haven't gone anywhere. That amicus brief alone cements them as legends but they have another banger at least once every month or two.
Agreed. At first I was happy to see their new tiktok series because it brings them back into the limelight.... but the comedy in those just doesn't hit the same and forcing the short-form content is frustrating.
We have reached peak absurdity when the Onion gives the only accurate fair and balanced synopsis of the Israeli- Palestinian conflict.
And this video is 8 years old.
Fe
no cap
thats typically the role of satire
@@nnme576no shit sherlock
As someone who lived in Israel for a year learning both sides and opinions, this is the only accurate video out there
Thats what makes it so amusing... lol
you came from europe settling a house who's original settlers were forcibly displaced yet you have the balls to act like you care about peace
@@mahmoudshawkat3500 wrong video dipshit this is the onion
"lived in Israel" and "learning both sides and opinions". That doesn't make sense does it. It won't until you see the burnt faces of dead Palestinian children.
@@fahimshehzad2113 it’s an onion video get a life
At last, a concise and comprehensible explanation of why this conflict continues to flare up as the decades go by.
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
Wait... this is supposed to be a parody news network. This is probably the most accurate description of the issue I've ever seen.
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙
Oddly, satire is probably the best lense through which to observe this conflict
Continuing stupidity at its finest.
The only way to unite both parties on how stupid this war is.
If I don't laugh I will cry.
How very apt.
@@Dimmary yeah being thrown out of your home and being subjected to imprisonment and lack of freedom of movement by foreigners is a stupid cause to fight.
I like that this video was suddenly suggested again.. I guess the algorithm picked it up because of the events of last days
Yes, this is perhaps the most impressive AI I've seen.
Why is it that comedians always gets it right?
SWOgottaGO They don't mask the truth with political correctness
SWOgottaGO Not all comedians.
+SWOgottaGO Its not hard, they don't say the solution to the problem, they just talk about the obvious lies and stupidity, with sarcasm.
David Dančuk Seeing the problem is the first step.
tomlxyz True, but most stay there. (I'm not saying anything against The Onion, I absolutely love their videos)
The satire is a good reflection of how much the Overton window has shifted
The first few seconds I thought the Onion was doing a legitimate segment O.O
GreenOnionBrother They did. That is as truthful as it gets.
Nothing they said was wrong... kinda
JohnPavilonis i tried to disagree with your comment but i cant... i tried... sorry
GreenOnionBrother It did.
GreenOnionBrother they did
Though thoroughly amused by the endless carnage, i am concerned about the unhealthy levels of interest our politicians are taking in it... don't they know you aren't supposed to pick a side?
Protester19 I agree. They should remain as a neutral spectator and just watch the neverending bloodshead. If they pick a side the effort of UN just goes to waste.
Protester19 'our' as in American politicians?
and the USA hasn't kept out of the business of other countries since WW2. Vietnam, Korea, Iraq, etc, all that crap had nothing to do with the USA and we waste the lives of our military for virtually nothing but for some reason we call that nothing 'freedom'. I respect those with a strong love of our country and who want to represent it via the military but this country goes to war on a whim constantly. The last time America's freedom was in jeopardy was during WW2, ever since then it's about $.
I guess the silver lining is we always have experienced and combat trained soldiers since we're constantly at war. I hear a lot of people complaining about how we treat our war vets, well, most of those vets shouldn't even have ever seen war.
Foxden How can you call Samsung nothing? As we all know Samsung would never have happened under North Korea. Now we can enjoy the functionality of our Samsung S6, while controlling our Samsung refrigerator from our office and making sure the dryness of our linens without actually going to our Samsung Washer Dryer combo?
***** Haven't you been paying attention? After the allies won the war. The UN wanted a longer term amusement. And the video clearly states that won't be possible if politicians keep picking sides.
+Eddy Weddy
at least it provides lots and lots of amusement for the rest of the world.
The lizard people and fish people did a great job in orchestrating this conflict for the snake people, bird men and pig men to place bets on. And as a pig man I placed my bets on the wrong side.
I will lose half of my planets on this... my wife is not amused... then again she is a lizard, she is never amused by me. 😧
i thought the onion was supposed to be fake, this is exactly what's happening.
Literally
Satire has been the only reliable news source since many years.
this is genuinely the closest thing you can get to honest news atp
🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙
LOL anyone else read the whole paper at 0:46? That's just awesome :)
I laughed so hard...
The onion never fails to give me a good chuckle and I honestly appreciate that nowadays
Thank you🤣🤣
Blood must be shed if we are to have a good time. The Canadians solved this problem with hockey
Thanks for your quick and up-to-date casting of this horrible tragedy
🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
I thought this was a new video they made and then I saw it was 8 years old. Its amazing how nothing has changed
Its not amazing, it was a frozen conflict and no one wanted to end it.
@@mojewjewjew4420 The international political landscape is quite frozen in some aspects anyways, which is why the Onion's satire somehow keeps ringing true - simply because of the fact that no one (at least no one in power or no cohesive force significant enough to enact change) wants to change this stupid status quo.
@@theblackvoid That's because people in power generally have the same motivations of maintaining power.
@@theblackvoid thats what I said but in more words, why you feel you have to repeat my words?
After this war ends in another 5-10 years this comment section will be flooded saying the onion was ahead of its time
🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙
I got this recommendation now, how fitting
Yeah very fitting
I got this recommendation now, how fitting... Still
TH-cam in recommending this to me now has a very twisted sense of humour
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙 🤙
This is actually the most balanced review i have seen of the situation.
The issue is, balance is proported for comedy, but it doesn't make it more accurate.
f**k off to US News and World Report then where the agenda run free@@Melionyo
It unironically makes it the best piece on the conflict for accuracy
It's not a balanced situation though. Can't "both sides" a situation when there's a clear perpetrator with power
@@Moptop2 yeah i know. But it is built on hate and mindless attachment to vengence and victory. Neither hamas nor the israeli government give a monkeys about the people, just winning.
The fact this hasent aged a day is chilling
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
Sadly, this is the most accurate portrayal of Israel vs Palestine I have ever seen.
Saw a chilling interview. Isreali woman in illegal house in Palestine: "We don't have any problems with them. If we see one we shoot them."
I mean, Israel literally gave Palestine up some of its land at the UN’s request, because it wanted this to end and to live side by side with Palestine. Really, it’s Palestine keeping this going.
@@L333gok What a stupid analysis. As a reminder, Israel was a creation of the West after WWII (1948) and Israel started colonizing Palestine during that same year. They have no right to Palestinian land, the only sensible solution would be the dissolution of the already-illegal Israeli state and to give the land back to the Palestinians who, by all accounts, have lived in the Levant for over 1,300 years. Source: Any history book, google
@@L333gokThat land was arguably stolen from Palestine not long before that, but I'm no expert. It seems to be very complicated conflict after reading through the whole history on Wikipedia.
@@Kumpelkefer Conquest ≠ stealing
This video is the best explanation I have ever seen being given for this topic. Well done.
The sheer production quality of these FREE videos from 8 years ago leaves me saddened that they haven't really produced anything to this level in many years. But I am glad I did know they existed.
Yeah, their stuff today is pretty bad. You can tell they had some really good people there back then.
Thank TH-cam for recommending this to me, 9 years, aged perfectly
Right on time. The onion is always 8 years ahead of schedule.
More like 60+ years behind if you want to be accurate. Read a book sometime bro.
@@barryallen871 “dude what the heck why isn’t the onion giving me 100% accurate, up to date information? Journalism really IS dead, huh?”
I love it when something happens and TH-cam starts to recommend the relevant Onion video
I just talked to my college professor about the Onion and it's satire. Especially how it predicted future events. I then open my phone and find this.
Be careful about using "its" and "it's" interchangeably. "It's" makes it seem like you just realized, from the conversation, that the Onion makes satire, instead of what you actually meant to say.
Wait 'til you see Idiocracy.... Camacho 2024!
Well, it's wn event that has been ongoing for the better part of a century
@@OLBastholmOh those pesky little misplaced commas! I used to warn my students that they were one of the things that enrich lawyers by changing intended meanings in contracts.
@@davidbouvier8895*apostrophe, not comma
Finally a recommended video from 8 years ago makes perfect sense.. unlike how it usually goes.
Dear god. Onion just gets more accurate every day. Help us all.
and they're doing it from eight years ago.
This problem is just another outcropping of the exact same problem that has been going on for nearly a century.
how is ti accurate if they portray 2 qual sides, they actually couldve done a good job but theyre American after all
Thank god someone has up to date and unbiased information on this developing situation
The algorithm knows all.
It’s very impressive that they managed to make a funny video out of a topic that people get so angry about
Only the stupidest get angry
That's because it's funny to us only.
The problem is that you have to be more than mildly retarded to actually see this in such a childish reductionist way as to find it funny.
Well I guess a majority of Israelis and Jews wouldn't agree (and maybe call us anti-semitic (Palestinians are semites, too, btw.)). Cynic me, having watched 40 plus years of absolutely useless violence in that region agrees, laughs, but is also very sad.
getting angry over tyranny and oppression, yea so silly
You know why we're here
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙
Can't believe this is still relevant in 2073.
Hi, i am from 2094, and to people of 2021, a brutal clash and bombing between this to eternal enemies will start again in 2021. B careful
off by 40 years but close enough!
TH-cam recommending this now is wild
people are saying this aged incredibly, but theres a clear both-sidesism issue that conflicts with the current narrative of what is happening today.
Used this in a school presentation. Glad to know the teacher enjoyed the humor. I didn't see it coming.
🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙
for a piss-take, this is suprisingly accurate
This is the onion, they are a trusted news source and won't stand for your slander.
"Israelis and Palestinian leaders see the same solution to the problem"
Me: See! So sit down and make peace with one another.
"Build a nation over the corpses of the enemy"
Me: Oh- ...
Not really true. Israel has consistently been supporting two state solution while arabs insist on killing them all.
This is a lie, Palestinians don’t think this. All they want is freedom. Israel has imposed a blockade of all water, food and electricity. They have dropped over 6000 bombs on Gaza within the past few days. They ordered 1million people from north Gaza to evacuate and bombed them when they did.
🤙 🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙
When an 8 year old video pops up in your suggestions, you know it's both timeless and immediately relevant.
Couldn't have explained the Middle East Conflict better if you actually explained the Middle East Conflict. Perfectly done....
The algorithm has a weird sense of humor.
Cant wait to watch this video 8 years from now while still being very accurate and relevant.
Nope, there will be no Palestine by then.
@@barryallen871 If so, hopefully no 🇮🇱 either.
I hope the world sees them for who they really are this time. Skepticism has gone up significantly due to years of being lied to by MSM.
@@daviddavidson2357 A zero-state solution might be the worst possible take. Nature abhors a vacuum, and human nature is no different.
@@daviddavidson2357ah, the no-state solution
@@sigmascrub Well, they do have WMDs
That they stole from the US
Best assessment of the conflict I've seen yet.
TH-cam algorithm is cooking.
They both just want the same thing ... what an optimistic way to look at it
that is completely correct. most israelies and palestinians just want to live in peace. small group escalate the conflicts, hamas uses his religious ideology to shoot missiles at civillians, and religious jews settle in west bank areas, which have a large arab population. both sides are to blame. only when we will get over our history we wiil be able to make peace
Getting recommended this video right now is just…pure onion.
It almost feels like the onion is inherently prophetic in nature
Perfect time for this video to pop up in my recommendations )))
Lmao love it! This is why the Onion is legendary, this video is just as relevant today as it was almost a decade ago. Sad part is, it is probably going to be relevant for the rest of the 21st century as well.
YT algorithm really coming in clutch with these Onion reccomendations
Onion videos getting some traction near a decade later! I'm betting that this will come up for everyone again in another eight years.
It's no coincidence I got this recommended now
TH-cam algorithm wild💀
Aged like fine wine!
I can’t tell if this aged well or horribly…
Thanks TH-cam, and thanks the Onion and your writers and editors for the jokes
Jewtube pushed the sodomite and satanic New World Order agenda.
Ah I wonder why this is back in my recommended again
The algorithm recommend this video for you, didn't it?
Oh God, this video was 8y ago??
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the more you know about the relevant negotiations, the more you realize how brilliant the setup in the "What solutions are favored by each side?" segment beginning at 1:07 is
Yeah but Palestinians don't want total annihilation of the other side. They just want to be free. So that part of the satire was kind of bullshit
@@JeanPaulBeaubier I agree.* But nor do the majority of Israelis.** That being said Hamas the group with the most political and military control within philistine has repeatedly made clear that they don't recognize Israel's existence and In their charter of 1988 clames explicitly their goal to destroy Israel. I think it is reasonable to assume that the onion failed to make the distinction between the Palestinian people and Hamas In the interest of brevity and to preserve the satire.
*I think It is hard to know the true feelings of Palestinians due to lack of good pulling of functioning democracy. I take my stance hear more from befit of the doubt
**as evidenced by the high disapproval of both Netanyahu and the military's invasion.
@@JeanPaulBeaubierbut then they refuse a two state solution
@@JeanPaulBeaubierhuh? Not sure which Hamas charter you’re reading…Is there a made for TV version?
@@JeanPaulBeaubier The UN stepped in and offered a 50/50 land split and palestine attacked over it, palestine's not trying either and the video is accurate
The funniest thing is 10 years from now we'll probably be recommended this again.
Isn't it sad instead?
@@blackmantis3130 Yeah...
@@blackmantis3130 it's sad and funny at the same time, you mean.
@@esense9602 no
Insane it's still showing Nentenyahu in power
Also him checking out the IOF soldier's boobs at 2:36 is funny.
Onion from 8 years ago giving us more information than all other media outlets put together. On a serious note, I hope peace returns soon.