why i don't want kids
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ค. 2024
- a chat on the child free movement
there's definitely a child free movement happening & i wanted to give my take as a woman who personally does not want kids. i've always felt kind of weird for feeling this way tbh, so i'm mainly making this vid so others don't feel alone who feel this way & to speak to why i think so many ppl in this generation don't want kids anymore. just a warning that this video may trigger anyone with kids or who wants kids, but these are all just my personal opinions on our society & how things work. everybody should always do what's best for them & i still think children/parenthood is a beautiful thing!
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Certain people should NOT be allowed to have kids - completely agree
TOTALLY!
@@umamire 👍
💯
Definitely!
Most people actually in my opinion
I don’t think it’s selfish to be childless and I don’t think it’s selfish to desire children either. I think we are coming to a point where a lot of people are becoming more conscious of their choices and what they truly want in life instead of just what society tells us to want and that’s a beautiful thing. I always felt a calling to be a mother not because I “should want them” but bc I genuinely enjoy children sooo much. I want to spend my time with children, playing with them, teaching them, exploring the world with them. Not everyone feels that way but that’s why I think the key here is just being aware of what it is you do want. 💚
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤❤❤❤
💯
Such a beautiful response & perspective! Thank you for sharing 🫶🏾
We prefer to use 'childfree' rather than 'childless' - it denotes choice.
@@BethVonBlack🎯! came here to say "child _free_ " 😊
I’m reading the title like, “do we even need to explain at this point?”
The why seems pretty obvious to me 🤣! This world does not value children. It’s a wonder any of us survived.
This.
It's the strangest thing that people get hated for wanting to live their own life
Alot of men say something wrong with a chick that don't have kids I've also heard men said the women p is trash if they don't have its interesting how men view a women with no kid makes you kind of feel worthless
@@ForeverDrunkckoigirl we do not care what these men think
“I don’t think a lot of men deserve to have their genes passed on” LOL thats a true statement if I’ve ever heard one
As a mother i definitely wish i had this mindset prior
😨wow
Same. No shame.
Smartest take ever. Gen x was the last generation that could (barely) afford a home so that changes everything. I’m a mom but I didn’t want kids, it was an oops baby. I love my kid but looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so careless and wish I was childless. It’s hard, thankless, wildly expensive, keeps you a slave to the system, rakes your mental health over the coals and sucks your body and life away. U r a smart woman and many women are doing this, go 4B movement!
Thank you for your honesty. If more mothers were honest, there may be fewer mothers out there regretting their decision to have children and actually making informed decisions that change your entire life forever.
Solidarity! I have 2 kids and love them very much and at the same time parenthood (especially motherhood) is nearly impossible these days for many reasons, here are a few. Most mothers aren't as well connected to "the village" it takes to raise a child these days and it's very hard to do it alone or mostly alone. I'm saying this as someone with a solid support system, even still many heavy decisions and responsibilities still tend to fall on the mothers' shoulders. Words literally can't express how difficult it is to survive pregnancy, labor, delivery, postpartum, and safely raising healthy, happy kids in a healthy, happy environment when we can barely afford to be healthy or happy ourselves in today's society and on top of that the world is crazy.
I'm a 30-year-old millennial who has been a mom for over 7 years now and I'm so proud of the younger women who are removing the taboo from ACTUALLY considering all the many cons of having kids and becoming a parent. Like I said (I feel like you always have to put this disclaimer because the world is still so used to women just sucking it up and never talking about how horrid motherhood can be) I love my kids very much and I'm very grateful for them but motherhood is hard. Because many people don't take time for intense self-reflection in their teens and 20s, and birth control methods fail all the time, it's easy to build up resentment towards our younger selves for not waiting until we were 10000% sure! So if you're considering being a parent but you're teetering on the side of not becoming one, THAT'S OK! LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION! Many moms will not tell what it's really like and leave you to find out on your own. Your relationship with your partner will change, your body will change, your mind may change (PPD anyone?), your child may be born with a serious disability that you have to deal with for decades. People don't want to talk about this but these are things to deeply consider before having kids.
babe humanity is horrible there no need to extrapolate.
😂😂
@@LynetteAdkins happy u liked my pov. Being alive is already exhausting and being alive under this system is ten times worse.
This is literally the safest the world has ever been. The media has you roped in their doomsday cycle
@@zack7438 Noone cares about if this is the safest it has ever been. It still sucks. And I was not alive during those other times so I could not care less. I care about what is happening NOW.
@@zack7438safe for who?
I’m 24 turning 25 and my boyfriend and I have came to an agreement that neither of us want kids. Growing up with parents that honestly had no business having kids and couldn’t even afford us has led me to feel this way. I have no desire to be a parent. I have so much childhood trauma etc. because two mentally ill people who barely knew each other decided to keep a child they couldn’t afford. My adulthood is my time to heal and be selfish, if I want to sleep in all day on my day off then I can do that, if I get home from work and decide im gonna have sleep for dinner because I’m tired then I can do that because i don’t have another human being depending on me to survive.
I was sterilised at the age of 31 and it was the best decision I've ever made. I've never had the urge to be pregnant, to be a mother or be around children. I'm not maternal at all and because of that, I would be a terrible mother - no child deserves to be born to parents who aren't 100% passionate about raising a family imo. So, in a nutshell, that's why I'm blissfully childfree (and married to a happily childfree man!) at 38 with no regrets.
Who in their right mind would ever think of having kids in this modern dating scene?
Exactly everytime I say this people watch me like I'm heartless 😑
I`ve known since very early that I don`t want kids, I`m now almost 39 and I`m still 100% sure I don`t want any even though my ex-partners always tried to convince me to have them and I`m so happy I always listened to myself and didn`t get pressured into a responsibility like that. It might seem really selfish but I don`t want the obligation of raising a child, I rather focus on myself and heal all my traumas without passing them on to another being...
same. like i just don’t want the responsibility of taking care of someone else indefinitely & finally recognizing that that is OKAY!!😫
I'm 31 & my boyfriend is 37. He wants two kids, and honestly I'm not ready for children. We've been together a little over 6 years but I often think if I should break things off due to not seeing eye to eye on that subject. We've had our own issues and I think that plays a big part too.. regardless I'd hate to be the one to stop him from becoming a parent if that is something he truly wants. For me personally I don't see myself having kids even by 35, the "break off point." It is refreshing to see another woman not regretting her decision to be child free tho!
The whole "mini me" always made me cringe! I thought how self observed are you that you need "another you"? Kids come through us and are not us or really from us. This whole thing about wanting a do-over with our kids is so problematic. I've been guilty of that too as a parent. They say its selfish no to have kids but def selfish to have them for those to reasons I mentioned. Being as young as you are and understanding that you dont want kids whether its for selfish reasons or well thought out ones is so admirable. We can now decide with all the information at hand wether we want to have kids or not. Some past generations didn't have that and its a privilege to make a fully informed decision that's right for you. We should all support that,
That mini me thing is so ridiculous. So many parents are trying to live through their kids. How about if you're still alive...uh.. live YOUR life. Great comment.
Man give a seed but a woman is a portal of what God decide to give life (certain lessons for this soul )depending of what the actual soul deserve in this reincarnation !
The way most poeple are still having to live with roommates in thiers 20s and early 30s is crazy. With what money are poeple supposed to raise families? Some poeple are taking longer to have kids, myself included.
I would love to adopt. I wanna be a mom bringing a child to this world doesn’t excite me as much.
There’s a lot of kids in the world who needs parents. So I’ll just be a mom to one of them.
Yes this would be more plausible for me
Same.. I have no desire to experience pregnancy. The thought of someone growing and moving and kicking inside me digusts me. Adopting ??yess 100%.growing up with loving parents, seeing other people growing up with toxic parents is shocking, and to kids who don't have parents, I'd love to parent them with love
Good for you!
Wish more people had this mindset 👍🏼👏
If I want children I think I will just adopt…. I really don’t want to bring my own offspring here because the world is slowly getting worse, but I can assist kids that are already here, love them and support them..
I love the idea of adoption ❤❤❤
Exactly ❤
I’m 35 and I have no desire to have kids for all the reasons you mentioned in your video. Life is just too crazy to bring someone into this world that did not ask to be here then they have no choice but to live it. I think that is more selfish than actually saying I don’t want kids.
Absolutely! Im 35 man and so many times blamed my self for this but i swear God protected me with this mindset when i found the book Sri Ishopanishad- the ancient truths and there i found this “The worst that can happen here on earth is to fall back into the cycle of life and death among 8,400,000 species “
Lol, even if you do change your mind, you don't owe anyone an apology, and you don't have to take back everything you've said. It's valid in this moment, and if you change your mind, guess what? New moment. New decisions. Still valid. Thank you so much for posting this video. I'm someone who went from wanting an entire brood of kids, to having and only wanting ONE. I love that child SO FUCKING MUCH, but I will not bring another into this world.
I hope it becomes normalized to NOT ask people about their plans for children. Honestly, it's nunya, unless that person feels like talking about it.
I’m a 32 year old woman, I for one am glad these conversations are being had, it gave me the courage to get off the fence and realize it really is a choice, and a VERY hard route to go down especially how the world is now. I’m stable with a career and can’t imagine parenting another soul when I barely be wanting to be here myself low key 😒😅jk but not really. It has been weird admitting it to close friends and family because they still hold out the expectation you will change your mind.
I never wanted kids.
But after getting pregnant and realizing too late for termination, I had to come to terms with it. I’m still battling with the idea of bringing a child into this corrupt world. Kids are not just an item on your shopping list; they require unconditional love and care.
I will do my best to be the best mother I can and provide an amazing life for my child. It’s not about me anymore. It is the ultimate sacrifice.
Kudos to those who are able to stick to the decision of straight up just not reproducing. Don’t feel ashamed or pressured by society. ❤
Hey, I became pregnant not on purpose too and learning to be a mom and enjoy life can be a tough road to navigate. Keep moving forward. If you get to the point where you feel like you've lost that spark/joy of life It's very difficult but you can get it back again. Sending you love!
❤❤❤God bless you
I’ll be 26 this year and my mom always asks me if I want kids but she forgets that she raised me in a broken home, I watched her experience DV in multiple relationships, my father was never present, she was always chasing behind men, wasn’t the best mother and is the reason why I struggle with so many mental illnesses. Why would I have a child? lol.
Glad you made it out 🎉
I relate very much!
@@victoriasvibesss 🫂
I refuse to bring children into the world to suffer. The status quo is awful. Why would I subject my babies to this terrible place?
Lynette, I've been watching your content for a couple of years and it's beautiful to see how you've evolved. This is my favorite video you've released to date. It was thoughtful, clear and intelligent. It made sense. I salute your generation because many of you are writing your own stories in the chapters of this book we call life. You're not walking in the footsteps of your parents path. You're finding your own.
I'm a middle child in Generation X so many of my age group mindlessly had kids and made the baby mama and baby daddy population larger. A whole lot of single parent homes. I don't believe it was designed to just have one parent. A child needs that balance. Most people having sex aren't thinking of their kids'best interest or future. I think many people who are having kids are more selfish than ones who decide they don't want to have kids.
I was a married stepdad once and I briefly conformed to this illusion of a family that I thought was expected of me. Was that what I really wanted or was I just copying and pasting what I saw others do? We romanticize marriage and kids. It ain't for everyone. There are 8 billion humans on earth. We'll be ok with some skipping having kids. I don't have any kids and I've finally accepted that it's ok. I'm ok with it and that's all that matters.
Peace.
P.o.p.
This was eloquently said. I am still waiting to have my child/children. I didn't want to put them through struggle and try to grow up along with my kids.
I was adopted, so I definitely think I’d go that route- but don’t feel it morally ethical to produce more children into this hellscape of a society
Here are my reasons for not having children: (1) There are too many things that compete and undermine parenting; (2) This is not the world I want to raise children; (3) I enjoy my money, peace and freedoms; (4) Although they may not say it, most men do not want children; and (5) Being a parent is lifetime job and responsibility. Its a job that never ends. Let that sink in. I can't imagine have anyone demanding my attention and pulling on my energy everyday and all day. Having children or getting married is never going to happen. I have zero interest.👌
“I have zero interest” is a word 👏🏼
I congrats all women/men that do not want children. Live your life and stand in your power 💪🏾 i have children, i am NOT offended......more power to you ❤
Amen.
Agreed.
Today's day and age you can't even afford to live, let alone take care of kids...
📍🔨
I think theres a difference between wanting kids and wanting to be a parent. A lot of people “want kids” but they dont truly want to be a parent. If you dont wholeheartedly want to be a parent and are fit to be one then you shouldnt have kids!
You should only have children when you’re financially able, at least 25yrs old, matured mentally and you honestly plan to stay with the mom/dad. Children are not a replacement for your boredom &/or your lack of self purpose.
Thank you for sharing, this is the exact same way I felt in my 20s and still feel this way in my 40s. I’ve repeatedly had this conversation with my partner and her family and my family over and over word for word to what you just said in this video. Then one day she decides she wants kids and eventually I cave in. Still feel the same way but I love my kids unconditionally. I wish I stood on business another 20 yrs but I don’t regret it either, it’s weird now. 😆
I totally agree with you and I'm childfree as well. Some people love making this cliche statement, "Who's going to take care of you when you are old?". That's a very selfish reason to have kids. I just look at them and feel so sorry for their thought process. It's enough responsibility of taking care of myself, adding a kid would be too much. 😊
Absolutely hate this comment as well. It’s the main thing that comes out when I express my pov of not wanting children. Agreed so selfish!
@Chardelle I just had my Aunt tell me this during the holidays.
I agree, but at the same time, what is the answer to that question?
@@victoriasvibesss I’ve been thinking about this comment a lot.. all day actually lol. And the truth is.. there is a high risk there will be no one to look after me and I will die alone but there r an infinite number of possibilities that could answer this question. I may not even grow to be old 🤷🏾♀️what if I adopt along the way, what if I find a partner who also doesn’t want kids and we grow old together 🤷🏾♀️ so many things can happen.
@victoriasvibesss Honestly, I don't expect anyone to be obligated to take care of me. You are born alone and you'll die alone. No one will come with you when you leave this earth. Live your best life while alive.
Nick canon got enough kids to keep the world populated we’re good 😂
And Future and Fetty Wap
@@tyralee2286NBA YOUNG BOY 😂
Let's not forget about the Kardashians 😂😂
i feel similarly and i completly agree with men wanting kids more because they barely help lol, and i am absolutely terrified at the idea if being a single mom if my relationship doesn't end up working out I'd rather be able to just cut my losses and leave tbh
I think that it takes a lot of personal responsibility and selflessness to raise a child. Some people don't want to make that sacrifice and it's OK. i have one child and don't want anymore bc i would resent making the sacrifice needed for a newborn. I see the beauty in being a mom and i also see the beauty in being independent❤️🙏🏾❤ love that you are talking about this
Let’s not forget the biggest selfish reason of all when people list why they want kids… you’ll need someone to take care of you when you get old.
At Just 22 Years Old, I'm Tired Of Being Told I'll Change My Mind Once I Meet The Right Person And That I'm Too Young To Know What I Really Want, Me Not Wanting Kids Has Nothing To Do With My Age! 🙄🙄🙄🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I'm 34 and enjoy my childfree life 😊 I've been with my partner for 10 years and we never wanted them. Society needs to accept DINK couples.
A lot of your points are valid. I already have kids so there's no going back and I'll be working till I'm dead in this economy.
The US does not provide enough for support for parents and children alike. I highly recommend reading The Nordic Theory of Everything; it's so eye opening to read about the way other countries support those who wish to start a family.
This video held so many valuable insights. I’ve been feeling this way for the last few years & I 1000% agree with every point you made
Another reason why I just love you; you're not afraid to speak your mind on controversial topics. As someone who is the EDLEST DAUGHTER I've always had to be taking care of my younger siblings & having all the responsibilities fall back on me. I still do until this day.. Moving back home right before the pandemic & still being here has made me realize I need to be in my OWN energy for a WHILE once I can finally afford to move back out. I don't like to label myself as an empath but I tend to soak in energy around me; when you're in a certain environment for so long you just wanna detox from it all when you get the chance to finally do so -at least that is where I am at. A selfish reason to not have a kid, but when you spend your whole life taking on too much responsibilities of others with minimal help and are always relied on you just wanna focus on you & do the things that make you happy ✌🏻💖 I can be old and still find ways to entertain myself with new hobbies as silly as that sounds haha. Maybe one day I will consider adopting because I too rather focus on positively impacting + helping people who already exist 🙏🏻
well said! we're around the same age and im just starting to grapple with this question. working with children and seeing parents around their kids has also been a game changer for me. there are so many children already in this world that need love
Too many kids come into this world with a “job” and it’s so unfair and selfish on so many levels.
I agree!! Motherhood is hard and you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!! Most men in this world don’t deserve to continue their lineage 😂 no shade! I think there is a lot of healing that truly needs to be done!!! I have 2 and im married and I don’t think I want anymore. Sadly the way this world is turning out I don’t want to bring more kids into this ghetto mess 😅because it’s giving hoodrat vibes lol our government does not care about us and have shown us for years but I think everyone is just now catching on! Me included. I truly worry sometimes about the life my children will have when they’re adults because the life we have now is FAR from it! We were all lied to! Thank you for your transparency on this topic because it is a tough one and as a parent I back everything you said!
It is so giving hoodrat vibes 😂I’m financially stable and trust me money doesn’t make it feel less ghetto. The whole culture is on life support with it’s sad self 🫣
When you mentioned about not every man deserves having a kid - I clapped my hands 🙌 💯 this!!!
Love this video and I feel the same way! A lot of people need to ask themselves “do I even deserve children? Would I be a good parent? Have I worked through my traumas and issues so I don’t cause the same pain to my children?”
Smartest take ever. Gen x was the last generation that could (barely) afford a home so that changes everything. I’m a mom but I didn’t want kids, it was an oops baby. I love my kid but looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so careless and wish I was childless. It’s hard, thankless, wildly expensive, keeps you a slave to the system, rakes your mental health over the coals and sucks your body and life away. U r a smart woman and many women are doing this, go 4B movement!
i used to feel the same exact way and sometimes do. we should be working towards making a better future. loving a child is a motivation for a lot of people. im happy people are thinking logically about stuff like this especially women.
I took a course in college called "Nationalism, Bodies and Borders" that articulated a lot of these points for me very early in forming my adult opinions. Abortion has always been a political tool. By the state outlawing such practices, it ensures human capital for future endeavors (war, labor, and extraction via taxes). We see it today with the protests and vowing not to have kids and the US overturning Roe V. Wade. It's such a potent and controversial issue due to the patriarchy demanding control and domination in a domain it has no right to be.
On another note, I am an environmentalist and even went so far as to study Earth Sciences in college. Overpopulation is a myth for the Western/Global North to shift blame. I agree that consumption is the issue. In my eyes, having children is having hope for the future. However, I respect both sides of the argument. It really is up to individual choice. If we come from consciousness rather than programming, I bet you're right and a lot less people would've had kids before going within and doing the inner work.
Great discussion starter as always!!
9:46 It's not fun, I worked extremely hard as a single mother and thought once my daughter got of age I would be finally able to breath, but that didn't happen, as soon as I finished raising my daughter, this skyrocketing inflation to 10th power happened, and I'm still no closer to freedom...
As someone that has kids and wanted kids ever since I can remember, don’t do it unless you have a very hands on billionaire husband, multiple Nannie’s, and a very very good therapist. Nothing anyone can say can truly explain how hard it is to be a parent. And there’s nothing anyone can say to explain the things that happen to your mental and body (so much happens that no one can or will prepare you for) while and after pregnancy. It’s not for the weak at all by any means and even the “strong” will be VERY much tested. On a brighter note, I feel like having kids made me realize my worth as a woman, I feel like I’m a goddess here on earth all of the sudden and move from that space which is nothing like how I was before. Think of it like this, they’re as high maintenance as they are squishy, perfect, sweet smelling, and cute. They kind of have to be that cute so we take their shit, and let me tell you it’s a LOT of shit (you’re a slave to your child) 😂. I support anyone who doesn’t want kids bc it’s SOOOOOO much they’re right to feel the way they do, I have two so look at it as I had one for you on your behalf Lynette 😂
People with no kids have SO much peace and have no idea. There’s days where I’m balling my eyes out bc when you’re a mom there’s no peace, EVER. Never ever ever.
Thank you for this video. I haven't finished watching it yet, but you are on point with what you are saying. I'm a 55 year old woman ~ single, never married, no children. I worked in U.S. healthcare for 20 years as an occupational therapist with very sick children in hospitals and with children in the school system who have disabilities. I think in order to have children in the U.S., you need a solid partner who is going to be there with you through thick and thin because life can bring ups and downs. I find a lot of people are good with the ups but not so good with the downs. I also think multiple children can cause a strain on the marriage precisely for the reasons you state - it's expensive, the economy is volatile, etc. I definitely think it's possible to have children but the Mom and Dad need to be in child's life. I worked in the New York City school system in the Bronx. Each year, there would only be a handful of children on my caseload where the Father was in the picture. It was sad to see the effect on the children. With that said, I do know there are great parents and great families in the U.S., but the odds seem stacked against them.
I think this is a super valid! IMO everyone’s feelings on children and family is deeply rooted in their own perception of self, their world view, and personal history. I think it’s dope that you were vulnerable and shared your perspective, I can definitely relate.
I swear this is exactly how I feel and being a social worker has scarred me as well. I just believe that children don't ask to be here so if you aren't going to do right by them stop having them or don't 🤷🏽♀️
I have a gorgeous baby girl and currently pregnant with a baby boy, I feel beyond blessed but I can fully understand where you’re coming from. I’ve never had so much anxiety in my whole entire life, luckily I’m not struggling financially but yes absolutely something in our brain as women definitely change. I always wonder because my husband seem to be living his life as it was before but for me inside myself I’m always thinking about the little ones and that alone amongst million other things mothers think about can take a mental toll.
So I'm a decade older than you and a mom of 1. I was always childfree and never saw myself as a mom. I had a lot of trauma from my family, so I decided I'd just keep pets and reparent myself. Then, when I met my current partner, I kind of got swept up in the honeymoon period and got pregnant. I don't regret having my son, but I wish I had chosen a better partner to parent with. The Universe probably wanted me to heal my inner child by being a mom. I agree with everything you said and my belief is that only the people that want to have kids and are able to provide a stable life for the child should have kids. Also, we're in the age of Aquarius, so there will be less people having kids in general.
I’m 28. I didn’t want Kids since I was 16. Great video
Shocking to see a black man saying he doesn't want kids....🍾❤
Come to Jamaica ❤
Reguardless of what any triggers viewers may experience, theres nothing wrong with saying what you’re saying. I had my daughter at 19 after a surprise pregnancy. I really love and appreciate you for being brave and having the self love to share your opinion in raw form. It came across very honest and unfiltered yet still respectful yet standing in your power of your voice and perspective and wisdom. Your voice in this video hits different, it is grounding and balanced and clear. Thank you for owning your expression and I love the makeup by the way your skin looks amazing. I listen to many many conscious youtubers and vloggers and I find this topic definitely unique and original. Thank you Lynette 💕🫶🏼
for the longest time I've known I never wanted to have kids. im not great with kids, I have no clue how to interact with them, let alone raise them. that reason has driven me to remain childfree even in my 30s. recently, I made a new discovery that reinforces my desire to be childfree, and that it's scary to have someone need me in a way that I can't provide - to guide them through life. life is already hard as an individual, and im still figuring it out.
whether out of lacking the maturity or selfishness, the idea of a child needing me their whole lives really is not something I want to experience. so far, im happy with my decision in not becoming a parent. I do admire and respect those who take on that responsibility just as much as I respect those who know it's not for them.
appreciated hearing this discussion.
I share a lot of the same beliefs. I have a dog 🐶 and he adds A HUGE amount of responsibility to my life 😅 can’t go back after bringing a kid into the world. Life will never be the same in a beautiful way but frightening at the same time.
I’m turning 38 and was a fence sitter until 2 years ago. The child free life has given me so much peace. 10/10 recommend it to any adult 😂 this world is so scary atm.
Wow! You hit almost every reason why I'm child free! You are spot on and very wise to have this insight. Thank you for sharing your thoughts💓
Girl I swear you read my mind. Ive been through a journey of wanting to freeze my eggs, preparing, consultation due to my PCOS but lately I’ve been considering why exactly I want kids. In this political and environmental climate it makes me think if it’s just selfish to bring them to the world.
Also whenever I have a bad day I just picture myself how I’d deal with it if I had kids 😂 and yeah nah
thats the things with kids, when you mentioned the point about having people over with an unorganized setting, the beauty of having kids is going through those times or challenges that giver you a deeper appreciation of the good times. You will never be ready or prepared, you have to be strapped in for the journey.
Even if you change your stance in the future, there’s no need to apologize. You’re sharing what you feel at this time and it’s valid right now even if it’s different for you later on. I absolutely love your content! Thank you for sharing💜💜💜
Im turning 33 in august and I realized as a child that having kids made no sense because of the system that we’re in. Im a bit black and white and a “perfectionist”so I find it difficult to rationalize bringing another human (who I know will love more than myself) into this reality because it just isn’t good enough! I an pretty positive minded but theres so much fucked up behaviors, experiences, and what ifs that its not worth the experience imo. And yes I would have to stay at my 9-5 forever and in the ratrace instead of taking more risks in my one life.
This took courage to post! Proud of you :)
I’m part of the older group that you mentioned. Personally I think I think if you want kids you have them if you don’t then don’t. It becomes a big deal when people make it a big deal. There isn’t a perfect world. It wasn’t years ago and it not now.
Great topic! I'm 33 with no kids and happy about it.
I really enjoyed this video. I have been back and forth on this topic mentally for the last year. Plus the dating scene and my friend's experiences as parents or dealing with their partners really makes me feel happy to be single. There is a lot of joy I am sure. But the burden of not having to consider another person and the peace as a single person -- that is a lot to sacrifice.
Love your perspective on deciding not to have kids. Who you decide to have children with is a HUGE life decision and more people should be cognizant of this. I’m thinking about this too against how much my life and identity would change with kids involved. Great video, thanks for sharing 💕
I’m 35 and I’ve ALWAYS felt this way. It never changed! I thought it would too.
I haven’t even watched the video yet but I liked it already. I’m a millennial in her 30s and I also am leaning towards being childfree. I’ve never felt maternal and I think it was more so societal pressure but I’m glad people are actually having this conversation ❤
I’m getting tubes tied aft my 21st birthday and you know what I’m okay with no kids for life
Take it from someone a lot older, your life view will change a lot in your adulthood.
You may never want children which is fine but don't be in such a rush to make a permanent decision.
Also be careful of online people validating your worldview with likes as they don't have any long-term investment in your life.
Don't be too cynical on the future.
@@akbeatz5021 How patronising to tell someone that they don't know themselves. I knew who I was at 15, 18, 21, 25 and 35. Some of us JUST KNOW.
@@BethVonBlack First off I never said she didn't know herself, you're reaching there.
Second - I didn't say her viewpoint was wrong, I simply cautioned against making a permanent decision on something that MIGHT change.
Third - You might have known but I have actually spoken to several women who made that choice young and regretted it.
So tell me the downside of not making a permanent decision at 21?
Not sure why this triggered you. She isn't you, you don't know how she made this decision or if she has a support system in her life. You shouldn't be this irresponsible online.
@@akbeatz5021 The overuse of the word triggered in society is extremely triggering. Everyone who uses it thinks they’ve automatically won the argument. You are definitely patronizing. You spoke to several women who regret not having children. What is several? What were there reasons for the regret?
I’m in my late 50’s. I love that these young women are decentering men, deciding not to have children and choosing peaceful lives.
@@PeaceforLisa Where did you get decentering men from the OP post? That's revealing of your personal views and explains your pushback.
Why does it matter how many people? Does that change the possibility of changing your mind as you get older?
What's so patronising about considering that growth happens a lot in your adulthood?
I'm really trying to understand what specifically I have mentioned that's patronising.
It's arrogant of you to think all life is figured out by the time you're 21 and that you might not regret big life choices.
I'm 39 and I'm childfree by choice the reasons why I'm childfree because kids are so expensive and they're a big expense and I don't want to experience how painful childbirth is
100% agree. How could I look my child in the eye and tell them they can’t live a full and happy life???
The only thing I would consider is fostering, because they’re… already here? Does that make sense? If I could bring a little happiness into a child’s life then I would!
Thank you so much for posting this - you're the realest TH-camr! I've personally felt this way for years, even having been in long-term relationships, and it's easy to feel alone when you're the minority. I agree with all of your arguments/reasons as they're right in line with how I view the idea of having kids. I think just as people choose to have them, it's equally as valid to be on the other side of things. It's so refreshing to have heard your perspective and the others in this comment section.
I’m a mom with 3 kids. Today I’m working from home today to take care of a sick child. My husband is also working from home. She was screaming and banging in the wall for help. He didn’t even leave his work room even though she’s right next door. I have not got much work done because I have to take her temp, give her meds and check on her and make her meals.
. She’s a teen who has been sick a lot this year. She had a hospitalization and surgery earlier this year. I’m so tired. I’ve been counting down the days years until she goes to college and I’m free. I love my kids.
I have expensive hobbies, a job,a youtube channel, bills to pay, 2 dogs to take care of,a car to maintain and a bf yeah I'm good thank God my bf doesn't want kids neither so yeah we real good over here 😂😂🎉
Loved this video ! I wish as a society we explored this topic more . I don’t think you would owe anyone an apology if you changed your mind to have children. You’re allowed to grow and change with the information that you have available to you at the age you learn it . I definitely will not have children until I feel like I have established myself not only financially but continue to learn more about myself before I learn to take care of another human and will continue to do unapologetically. If the day comes where I decide to partake on that journey, I’ll welcome it .
I find it so funny when some people call people who don’t want to have children selfish . Like you’ve beautifully explained we can argue selfishness on both sides . I think it’s beautiful also if someone wants to start a family . I also think it’s beautiful if someone wants to create a child free life for themselves filled with the luxuries they did not have as a child due to the same parents that had them for the wrong reasons .
Life isn’t linear and as women I think we’ve earned the privilege of choice and for those who don’t like the idea or think it’s a selfish one, it really says more about them than the child free women .
lol that’s my 2 cents . Again really loved this video Lynette and thank you for sharing 🫶🏾
I absolutely 💯 agree with all of this 😅 I’m so here for the childfree movement 😊I wanna be those old people just sitting at cafes, walking doing hobbies and spending the last hits of time together on this earth with people we chose. It’s so beautiful
This sounds nice 😊
I’ve been in love before but I’m not having a child. I feel you!
I definitely respect your thoughts on the subject. Keep it going, queen
That part 😭🤣 I didn’t aks to be her , you interrupting my sipping on clouds and floating through the galaxies 🌌
the world is ridiculously wicked it’s selfless and smart and good to not have a kid here
I feel as though change is inevitable regardless of who is involved. Im a new mom and Im enjoying the journey although i never imagined the process, growing up I always saw myself as a mom like visions of the future. I believe that everyone is meant for some. I am grateful we can all be confident and unwavering in our paths
7:32 All the things my parents were able to have, that I couldn't even dream to have...
I can’t afford kids
Way things are now, who can?
The overall problem with having kids today is not having support.
Millennials are struggling with high prices, no support from their parents because they’re still working or off living retired life because they worked all their life or really just have no care in uplifting/helping the next generation.
AND when you do to have kids it’s hard! It’s hard when you raise your kid at a standard of a higher conscious level that requires no extreme amounts of screen time, breastfeeding, no junk food daily red40 diet, homeschooling and trying your best to tune into their emotions. This is how I am raising my kids and it’s hard as hell and I WFH. especially with very little support since my husband works outside the house and hardly any grandparent support.
Honestly, being a parent is the most important job we will ever have in our life, but society sets us up to fail at it. Then they wonder why there’s so much mental illness and jail rates. Women need to be able to raise their children aka our next generation more comfortably.
Also, I agree that if you are having kids for the wrong reasons (thinking you have to because society says so, thinking it will keep a man) then don’t. Our kids need more than to be thrown into daycare for hours, then public school and fed crap and taught crap all day. That’s not heading our New Earth in the right direction.
I believe when you dont have children, you miss out on your own personal development as a being. I believe children expose sides to us we would never known about until they’re present.
Okay then go have some kids. Tf?
I have never wanted kids, since I was young I knew I didn’t want to be a mom. But a lot of people find that hard to understand. I had a coworker who tried to come up with reasons as to why I didn’t want kids. “Yeah dating these days sucks doesn’t it?” “The economy is pretty bad right now, I get it”. No. I wouldn’t have kids even if I was a billionaire and had several nannies. My decision has nothing to do with the economy or money or my romantic life. I am just not interested. It’s as simple as that.
On the topic of getting older and being alone. As a millennial, I have felt alone much of the time anyway due to everyone being glued to cell phones so much. Being alone and being with my pet cat has actually felt more peaceful to me than being around my peers.
hitting all the points. i'm unsure about kids but definitely consider all these points when i debate it in my head
This is sooo depressing but its so real. Im 31 and feel almost in poverty with bills and im single and make good money. So yeah idk how ppl with kids are doing it.
Saw the title and the first thing I thought of were your neighbors 😭
stoppp😭 i was so scared they could hear me recording this
I have kids, two... I am not offended by any of what you said. But you must accept that there will never be a point where we all have the same perspective (which is a good thing). I am glad that in 2024, as women, we even have the liberty to choose whether we have or not have children. I like the example you make about inviting someone to your house and wanting it look great... And statistics actually show that people in poorer societies tend to have more children. I just wonder why that is. Great conversation 🙂
Some say lack of access to birth control, sex education and resources. But I think humans are more complex than that. Maybe some just love children and think that their love is enough. 🤷🏽♀️
Still haven’t even watched the video yet but yay love to see one of my favs on the same page as me…..my thing is why are people not open to adopting when there’s so many kids that need housing and a loving family…people will go through IVF before adopting it blows my mind
Heavy on the I didn't ask to be here haha! I live in the uk and I agree with alot of what you've said, it's a scary thought to raise a whole person during this time sadly
Finally i hear what I've been trying to say in a clear concise way!! Yes a child is a blessing but i do not want to romanticize struggling!! Love your viewpoints on this topic Lynette ❤