1. Self-acceptance + compassion (we are trying our best & neutrality) 2. Self-trust what benefits you (saying no to something harmful & have balance) 3. Get out of your comfort zone (building self-trust and do baby steps) 4. We have our own back (*Nobody is thinking about you more than you're thinking about you) *Book Recommendation in the video: Courage to be Disliked
I think its an under-discussed topic, but essential for establishing the ground works of showing ourselves we're worthy of the commitments we make to ourselves. 🙌
this helped me alot especially with dealing with external validation. I've been doing some inner child healing exercises and found out this is a felling that the child in me is so familiar with. the child in me wants to be liked and accepted by everyone but this is something i truly wanna overcome and show myself the love i deserve, show myself that I got my bavk and all the validation i need i only important as it comes from me.
I have felt very similar things. It’s very empowering to step into the adult role and become the loving parental figure to our inner child parts. 💖💖 wish you all the very best.
We all have a need, from an inner child perspective and even still as adults-as humans-to feel a sense of connection, belong, acceptance, and validation. There's also nothing wrong with wanting that from other people either, it's natural. The issues only arise when we fail to *first* give ourselves internal validation, regardless of what we do or don't receive externally. If that self-validation isn't present, no matter how much outward praise we may receive, it'll never seem like it's enough. 🕊
Love what you make and stand by it, and enjoy the process. Know what your integrity means; know your limits; know your ‘no’s and ‘yes’es. Allow others their own tasks. ❤pure gold! Thank you.
My problem is from a young age I was shown and taught that your appearance (mainly weight) dictates your “worth,” and all through life this has been validated over and over again. I am now 40 and trying to heal all of my past trauma, but I feel like I’m overthinking it. When I try to tell my inner critic nice things, it just fires back.
All of us are exposed from such a young age these ideas of conventional beauty standards, etc. from media and pop culture. Each of us are on our own path as we return to wholeness. It's not an easy road to walk, but that doesn't mean we give up and stop trying. Keep taming that inner critic-we each have one, you're not alone 🙏
Three things; 1 weight does correlate with health. 2 you can achieve your weight goals. 3 you should reach your ideal weight for yourself. Because you love yourself, because you can accomplish anything you put your mind to, and because you love to challenge yourself and achieve your goals.
Without self worth, it’s easy to feel lost, constantly looking for validation, or bending to fit others' expectations, leaving us feeling drained and disconnected from our true selves.
All solid points, though point #1 really stands out-particularly your personal example of owning and accepting about yourself what could be deemed a "negative" trait of arrogance at times. Honestly it takes so much self-awareness and strength to be able to admit these things about ourselves, and we all have a shadow side, and even along the path of personal development-even as role models-we are human, first and foremost. There will be moments we 'slip' and don't act as our best selves. Growth is an ever-continuing journey and we're always refining. Respect!
the ending of this video made me sob. i really needed to hear this and i'm just beginning my journey of building up my self-worth. not only for me to function properly and love myself the way i should, but also for my relationship. thank you
i love how you absolutely break everything down and say why we might feel the way we do, and give us step on step with what we need to do next. this is a video i truly resonated with ill definitely be implementing some of the baby steps you mentioned. thank you! you are an angel
Thank you for this! ❤ Grounded in reality, simple to follow. Just a few takeaways for future reference: • Practice self-acceptance and compassion, process the bad/ugly things that may be true about you and allow it to at least be neutral (may take time) • Build self-trust by choosing things that are good for you (strike a balance-not black and white, avoid shaming) • How you are perceived is NOT your task
Dia this video just popped up on my feed and I am so glad i clicked on it. It made me very emotional as you brought up things i have felt and struggled with in my life. Childhood trauma seems to be the root cause of a lot emotional and psychological issues we face as adults. For me it was strict and abusive parenting and bullying by school mates that triggered my low sense of worth and esteem. I never felt the love, safety and security i needed as a child to be myself and develop a healthy sense of self which i think would have made me more resilient to adversity in life. As a child i was always scared and worried of saying or doing the wrong thing so as not to upset my parents and face their wrath (screaming, verbal and physical abuse). The constant feeling of anxiety, shame and inadequecy followed me everywhere and progressively got worse as i came into adulthood and experienced major adversity in my professional life. I developed poor coping habits and things just snowballed from there. I am on a healing and spiritual journey now, sober, building self-awareness and learning how to be more accepting of my past and of who i am. I still have crippling anxiety but i at least now dont feel the need to seek approval or validation from others. Thank you for your insightful video, it was fantastic.
"All we can do is operate from the latest updated version of ourselves " I love this❤❤ I'm still stuck on the last year version of myself who was hurting, and I made mistakes which I am trying to forgive myself for.
"I'm still not the best at this, but I'm definitely making progress." "the people who genuinely matter and love you will love you through your imperfections." Love this. tbh its not easy, but just recently started getting better at the self compassion point. I wish i could imprint and stick this video to my brain. LOL
2:15 I love this analogy and where you go with it for the next 30ish seconds. I moved around every year, different places in 6 different cities, until I was 7 years old. And, now, well-done RV-life has been a reoccurring desire. Thank you for making sense of it. And many other things are clicking over here too! Thank you ❤
Wow thanks so much for this video I really needed it. 💗 one of the ways I’ve been building self trust is follow through. I kept saying I’d create a TH-cam channel… for YEARS and I just started posting on it and now I’m creating a schedule to create more. It’s something I do for myself. I found it easy to follow through on other peoples tasks than my own😅that’s changed now 🎉
You have come such a long way Dia, I will have to watch this every day to remind myself. I will listen to your podcasts also. 🤲 I can really sense you are feeling what you say and your approach to bringing the key points to be understood through practical methods really helps trigger those feelings inside also. You are a fantastic teacher. 🍏 For me to to feel more of a sense of achievement and confidence and not always be the helper as you mentioned would also be a breakthrough for me. I sense its real courage, strength, and purpose when one is not doing what is expected of you but following your heart, in the face of judgment and criticism. Thanks for your love and dedication to yourself and others.. 💚💥
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful comment! 🙏🏼 It’s words like yours that encourage me to continue to squash my own imposter syndrome, so the gratitude goes both ways. 🩵
this focus on self worth is so important! and building our own inner home! i have struggled sometimes with focusing too much on how to please others or get someone else to make me feel safe in their “home”. has anyone experienced and overcome that - and how did you do it?
Thank you for this video, it's so timely and it just really resonated with me. I appreciate how you've provided real life applicable practices in a way that's easy to understand 🙂
I’m Asian too so I didn’t have the most western orientated childhood I wanted, recently I went through a dramatic change, I’m not sure what happen specifically, maybe it was the slightly difficult talk I had with my sister and I ask her to change but she still didn’t wanted to change, maybe it was when I went to a bridge and learned to gradually get over my fear of heights. Not sure what the specific reason is but I finally feel less stuck, I have never felt this good and never had an extremely high sense of self worth, my body language is very confident and my mindset has changed to place myself first.I think I also am kinder which I didn’t imagine I would be since it wasn’t taught to me as a child. I had also felt I had lots of potential but never fully got to realize it because of my family, I feel a little closer to my ideal self. Right now I do seiza sitting, meditation, practicing with my voice, will try to learn much about gestures, trying to type better, focusing on some appearance stuff, learning to touch type.
People feel insecure about rating their appearance and I don’t feel that way anymore, I think there an objective rating(and I think it’s important to have an objective rating)but I think there should also be a separate rating because on your self worth. I can objectively rate myself a 0/10 and be fine with it since I’m more than a number on a scale and people are too.
It's hard to respect yourself when you feel like a Ioser. My boss doesn't believe in me. She was once upset I had signed up for a one-person shift, because she didn't think I could manage alone. She was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that, I don't know how much clearer I can get for you to listen" and she told me I need someone there to give me instructions and guide me. Sure, I'm a slow learner and have messed up at work before, but the automatic assumption that I'm heIpIess, while our newer workers are allowed to work alone, it just bothers me. And I just found out that my sister defended me from a classmate who called me the r word. He said I was just a guy with disabIities (I have learning difficulties and ASD). And he ridicuIed the fact that I still live at home at 28 and went to a small charter school instead of his and my sister's public high school.
You shouldn’t feel like a loser, it just sounds like you don’t have enough people in your life who acknowledge your strengths. Developing a firm self concept can help with this. Having disabilities does not mean you cannot work alone, and your boss missed an opportunity to reaffirm confidence in someone that could have been a dedicated employee.
Listen I do understand you all you need to do is ask yourself not what Ather people tell you your boss could never know your power so you ask yourself can I do the shift alone if it was a yes then you need to chow her that you can and if it's not then change the company you can't stay in a place we're it deasnt help you to feel enough and confident as if it's a no then that's okay you learn and then you will get to be better than before@@johnrainsman6650
I really hate it when people say shit like "Trauma is not your fault but it is your responsibility" I know. We all know. Why do you have to say that? It comes across so insensitive to the struggle we all get put through, something we never asked for or deserved. And if we didn't know it was our job to fix it we wouldn't be here. It's not a 'victim mentality' we were victims, period. It feels isolating, like people see you as something that's affecting and hurting everyone else and until you learn to deal with yourself you need to stay away from others when what you want is support. You should be allowed to want the support you didn't get as a child, to not be told you're some kind of burden who only hurts people because you didn't heal fast enough. If someone is looking at these kinds of videos they already know something is wrong and are making efforts to fix it, I don't think they need to be told the ship has sailed, that their moment's past and now they need to suck it up and do the work. It feels invalidating, like we're the problem we were told we were as children. And it's so damaging when what you need is help and other people tell you "nope. that's your problem, your responsibility to fix it." Maybe that's not what you meant but to me at least that's exactly how it came across. Like all the suffering is boxed into some cliché phrase. It makes it hard to seek help because you're just being a burden again. People need help. It's not a solo journey and you're making it sound like one.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I actually feel a lot of empathy for everything you’ve written, and it’s the reason why I kept diving into literature, and teachers, and anything to help me ease the pain of what the past has created in me in present day. Perhaps in adulthood, someone or a community could come along and unconditionally love all the pain away, and we could be whole again. Grasping that thing which we lacked but have been longing for our whole lives. It has not been my own personal experience. I believe this can be a way to heal. And it is a huge part of it. Our connection to what’s outside of us, those we heal with together. However, the desire to be that unconditional love to another can also create another victim in this reality. Someone can be told a million times that they’re loved and they’re safe, but unless somehow they themselves find the compassion and forgiveness and love within, they may never come to believe it or feel it. And this leaves the rescuer, however well intended they are, out in the cold. I wish you all the very best. 🩵
Outstanding video! I just stumbled upon this. You are an extremely poised and articulate speaker. Great thoughts you are sharing based on direct experience and self-reflection. You are fantastic! Bless you! Stay strong and carry on!!!
Interesting insights, I have also come to similar conclusions through a lot self-reflection and reading. It's crazy how we're put on this planet with a mind that constantly tells us we're not good enough and then everyone just has to constantly deal with this inner critic for 70-80 years without going insane.
ha yes, it is a delicate balance to have enough self-awareness to be humbled by our own natural imperfections, yet also enough courage to try and get out of our own way.
Lots of wisdom! I'm currently reading "The Self Esteem Workbook" and there are lots of overlaps. GREAT book that's shifted my perception and is helping me overcome social anxiety and achieve things.
Happy to see you again, Dia!💐 I missed your pretty face a lot 😚 And thank you for sharing your thoughts on self-worth. It's a very important topic as many people lack a fair share of self-worth. Without it a happy and satisfying life is practically impossible so you hopefully contribute to the well-being of many people! Waiting for your next video now ... 😎😊
First of all, I loved the video 10/10, you gain a new follower.❤❤ Second, it makes me remember about a situation that happened to me a weeks ago and which still not sure if I'm in the wrong or not. I got out with this boy a few times (only as a friend) and I was comfortable with him but in the last time when he knew I was single, he changed, he make more jokes and was super close to me physically and I started to feel really uncomfortable with him. My actitude to him of course changed, and he told me a few times I can tell him everything but I trully don't feel safe around him anymore and Idk if I'm being cruel for not telling him but I want to trust my instincts, maybe he was just being friendly? Idk I'm still struggling to set boundaries with him because I feel like a bad person.
excellent video very well presented yestreday i put on red and pink in the morning and last night i found you. i went through all day forgiveness to all those who invalidated me
Would you believe I was just thinking about what you were up to just a few days ago. Now I'll get back to the video. 👍 ....... Definite words of wisdom and a very professional presentation. 🥀🌼🥀 Thank You ☮
Thanks for the video. Good stuff. In the last part though, how something is received is based on how something is presented. So it is within our control, which means it can be our responsibility. Of course, there is no need to force something but it is a skill that can be learned and improved upon
Wow I got hella emotional during this video... Thanks for putting this kind of content out there. Somehow, I viewed it as like my big sis having a talk with me... again, thanks so much.
Okay so I want to say something Me and my friends have group chat but I'm the one who is most active . I text a lot while they all left me on seen. But the next moment I'll see them talking n texting. If I leave the chat then they say I'm putting on a show. I started conversation most of the time despite my heavy busy days. But they also say they happy to have me but there words and actions aren't same. What should I do??
First, *Thank You, Dia❣* I didn't intend to comment, but I gained some timely insights here that are greatly beneficial/helpful to me. Second- and TBH this is what prompted me to comment, I searched my public library db online for the book you suggested, and the numbers are as followed: Book - 2024; All copies in use; Holds: 3 on 1 copy Book - 2018; All copies in use; Holds: 43 on 15 copies eBook - 2018; All copies in use; Holds: *226* on 11 copies *Downloadable Audiobook* - 2018; All copies in use; Holds: *353* on 20 copies *POPULAR BOOK‼* 😅 At least the newest edition has fewer holds, hopefully it is the same as earlier editions (or added info to the earlier, _unchanged)._ Fortunately, am in no rush; I'm sure I will be reading it in/by Autumn, perfect in time for my bday.
Omgosh! I didn’t think they’d be so popular! 😅 happy reading, whenever you’re able to get your hands on them, would love to hear your thoughts after. 🫶
UPDATE: Thank you to all the people that left thoughtful and considerate comments. I am in a much better place now, but sadly I won't be reading and replying to the comments here as it's not my video I am not the content creator and while I can see it has prompted many of you to comment, it's just my opinion and my comment still stands. I have been called conventionally beautiful my whole life too, but beauty does not make you immune to trauma, struggle or indeed illness and ultimately death. We are all on a journey. I am on mine. I think what I've learned from some of these comments is that I am going at my own pace, so please respect that and leave me alone now, I am not interested in anymore comments from people, those who left the best ones I read them and took heed. Original Comment Below It’s so easy for beautiful people to talk about this garbage. I have been in therapy for years. Have done yoga, meditation, journaling, shadow work, Pilates, self talk and I am no closer to self worth. The world receives you based on who you are and what social class you belong to. I committed every day to self talk, doing somatic dance, trying to self parent. No closer. Nothing. You also have to make a living, eat, socialise and all of that undoes all the efforts. It’s hard. I’m exhausted. Ready to go.
I’m truly sorry you are feeling this way right now. My own healing journey has been very slow and incremental(more than a decade), and I’m still working through plenty of things. And more times than you can imagine, I’ve felt exhausted at the effort it takes to simply exist. This is not an individual condition but a human one. I know words may mean very little, but truly, you’re not alone in feeling this. And even though I don’t know your particular unique story, I hear you and I feel your pain. I hope someday you’re delighted by your own courage and resilience to keep going, and know that sometimes, that’s more than enough.🩵
This sounds like you’re projecting your insecurities onto her. Get back to doing the work and learn to trust yourself. You decide your own worth and don’t settle for society’s expectations.
@@sonny1redvwof course I am. Bec the video is very triggering. Didn’t you read all the internal work I’ve been doing??? Think before you speak. All this self righteousness is the reason why people can’t speak their mind and be vulnerable. At least I am honest and in touch with my feelings. We all project from time to time. You are not perfect. You’re just a human and a random commenter on the internet like me. People love shaming others into silence or submission. Maybe work on that? At least the creator was kind and thoughtful with an empathetic response.
I think you take a soft approach. This is who I am right now, who I am sometimes, but maybe not always. There may be a day when I no longer fit the previous versions of myself, or parts of myself. When that day comes, I can claim those versions too. Willing to shed and embrace iterations as they meet us. 💗 I remind myself that whoever I become, all those versions are also me, authentically. We’re always in a state of change and flux, you get to decide what to hold onto and what to let go of by way of experiencing and living into the new versions.
@ You are amazing! Thank you. I’m listening through your videos on the daily. I’ve never had someone say the exact things I’m thinking with practical help. Thank you so much! You’re a blessing! Keep creating! 🙏 🫶🏼
Hey Dia , very good video . I can do better editing in your videos which can help you to get more engagement in your videos . Pls lmk what do you think ?
1. Self-acceptance + compassion (we are trying our best & neutrality)
2. Self-trust what benefits you (saying no to something harmful & have balance)
3. Get out of your comfort zone (building self-trust and do baby steps)
4. We have our own back (*Nobody is thinking about you more than you're thinking about you)
*Book Recommendation in the video: Courage to be Disliked
Thank you
Thanks for the bullet points! I've come across that book a few times and it's on my list 🙌
self trust is SO important for real
I think its an under-discussed topic, but essential for establishing the ground works of showing ourselves we're worthy of the commitments we make to ourselves. 🙌
The most ☝
7:16 self trust is hard to cultivate but a gem once achieved
this helped me alot especially with dealing with external validation. I've been doing some inner child healing exercises and found out this is a felling that the child in me is so familiar with. the child in me wants to be liked and accepted by everyone but this is something i truly wanna overcome and show myself the love i deserve, show myself that I got my bavk and all the validation i need i only important as it comes from me.
I have felt very similar things. It’s very empowering to step into the adult role and become the loving parental figure to our inner child parts. 💖💖 wish you all the very best.
We all have a need, from an inner child perspective and even still as adults-as humans-to feel a sense of connection, belong, acceptance, and validation. There's also nothing wrong with wanting that from other people either, it's natural. The issues only arise when we fail to *first* give ourselves internal validation, regardless of what we do or don't receive externally. If that self-validation isn't present, no matter how much outward praise we may receive, it'll never seem like it's enough. 🕊
“How you’re perceived is not your task.” -Dia Jin. ❤Ty, that’s going on the wall!
Love what you make and stand by it, and enjoy the process. Know what your integrity means; know your limits; know your ‘no’s and ‘yes’es. Allow others their own tasks. ❤pure gold! Thank you.
I’m glad you resonated with the video! Highly recommend “the courage to be disliked” book if you liked that quote😊🫶
*"Let the world feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it." - John Eldredge*
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself❤
I truely think god sent this video to me. This is the first video the properly breaks down all the concepts in a easy compassionate way. I'm grateful.
I’m so happy to hear that 🥹🫶
Synchronicity at its finest 💫
My problem is from a young age I was shown and taught that your appearance (mainly weight) dictates your “worth,” and all through life this has been validated over and over again. I am now 40 and trying to heal all of my past trauma, but I feel like I’m overthinking it. When I try to tell my inner critic nice things, it just fires back.
All of us are exposed from such a young age these ideas of conventional beauty standards, etc. from media and pop culture. Each of us are on our own path as we return to wholeness. It's not an easy road to walk, but that doesn't mean we give up and stop trying. Keep taming that inner critic-we each have one, you're not alone 🙏
Same ❤ dont worry we will achieve all the things we want.
@@shilpa99 Keep persevering 🌸
Three things; 1 weight does correlate with health. 2 you can achieve your weight goals. 3 you should reach your ideal weight for yourself. Because you love yourself, because you can accomplish anything you put your mind to, and because you love to challenge yourself and achieve your goals.
Without self worth, it’s easy to feel lost, constantly looking for validation, or bending to fit others' expectations, leaving us feeling drained and disconnected from our true selves.
All solid points, though point #1 really stands out-particularly your personal example of owning and accepting about yourself what could be deemed a "negative" trait of arrogance at times. Honestly it takes so much self-awareness and strength to be able to admit these things about ourselves, and we all have a shadow side, and even along the path of personal development-even as role models-we are human, first and foremost. There will be moments we 'slip' and don't act as our best selves. Growth is an ever-continuing journey and we're always refining. Respect!
the ending of this video made me sob. i really needed to hear this and i'm just beginning my journey of building up my self-worth. not only for me to function properly and love myself the way i should, but also for my relationship. thank you
i love how you absolutely break everything down and say why we might feel the way we do, and give us step on step with what we need to do next. this is a video i truly resonated with ill definitely be implementing some of the baby steps you mentioned. thank you! you are an angel
Thank you for this! ❤ Grounded in reality, simple to follow.
Just a few takeaways for future reference:
• Practice self-acceptance and compassion, process the bad/ugly things that may be true about you and allow it to at least be neutral (may take time)
• Build self-trust by choosing things that are good for you (strike a balance-not black and white, avoid shaming)
• How you are perceived is NOT your task
There's certainly a lot of grey, not just black & white. 🩶
Dia this video just popped up on my feed and I am so glad i clicked on it. It made me very emotional as you brought up things i have felt and struggled with in my life. Childhood trauma seems to be the root cause of a lot emotional and psychological issues we face as adults. For me it was strict and abusive parenting and bullying by school mates that triggered my low sense of worth and esteem. I never felt the love, safety and security i needed as a child to be myself and develop a healthy sense of self which i think would have made me more resilient to adversity in life. As a child i was always scared and worried of saying or doing the wrong thing so as not to upset my parents and face their wrath (screaming, verbal and physical abuse). The constant feeling of anxiety, shame and inadequecy followed me everywhere and progressively got worse as i came into adulthood and experienced major adversity in my professional life. I developed poor coping habits and things just snowballed from there. I am on a healing and spiritual journey now, sober, building self-awareness and learning how to be more accepting of my past and of who i am. I still have crippling anxiety but i at least now dont feel the need to seek approval or validation from others. Thank you for your insightful video, it was fantastic.
I could’ve wrote this man. Feel for you and wish you all the best.
@@ashdeen You too brother. Nice to hear someone out there can relate. Godspeed.
"All we can do is operate from the latest updated version of ourselves " I love this❤❤ I'm still stuck on the last year version of myself who was hurting, and I made mistakes which I am trying to forgive myself for.
Such a beautiful message 😍 and beautiful person ❤️👑
A lot of beauty all around 🌸
literally not even halfway through the video and im already subscribing. Such beautiful words spoken, got a new fan here hehe !
aww thank you so much! ❤
It was well articulated 🫶
Thank you for touching on all the points I’ve been needing to hear today! 💛
"I'm still not the best at this, but I'm definitely making progress."
"the people who genuinely matter and love you will love you through your imperfections."
Love this. tbh its not easy, but just recently started getting better at the self compassion point. I wish i could imprint and stick this video to my brain. LOL
I’m someone that came from a very loving household and still grapple with low self worth
Thank you so much for this inspiring video. My self worth is getting better and better by day. ✨
I love hearing that! 🩵
One day at a time 💐
2:15 I love this analogy and where you go with it for the next 30ish seconds. I moved around every year, different places in 6 different cities, until I was 7 years old. And, now, well-done RV-life has been a reoccurring desire. Thank you for making sense of it. And many other things are clicking over here too! Thank you ❤
out of topic, but the way you talk is very satisfying
Really appreciate how the concepts are framed in context...with examples. And thanks for the book recommendation! 😊
What you told me about concepts and contexts will most certainly be in my mind as I create more videos😊 thank you!!
Wow thanks so much for this video I really needed it. 💗 one of the ways I’ve been building self trust is follow through. I kept saying I’d create a TH-cam channel… for YEARS and I just started posting on it and now I’m creating a schedule to create more. It’s something I do for myself. I found it easy to follow through on other peoples tasks than my own😅that’s changed now 🎉
You have come such a long way Dia,
I will have to watch this every day to remind myself. I will listen to your podcasts also. 🤲
I can really sense you are feeling what you say and your approach to bringing the key points to be understood through practical methods really helps trigger those feelings inside also. You are a fantastic teacher. 🍏
For me to to feel more of a sense of achievement and confidence and not always be the helper as you mentioned would also be a breakthrough for me.
I sense its real courage, strength, and purpose when one is not doing what is expected of you but following your heart, in the face of judgment and criticism.
Thanks for your love and dedication to yourself and others.. 💚💥
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful comment! 🙏🏼 It’s words like yours that encourage me to continue to squash my own imposter syndrome, so the gratitude goes both ways. 🩵
@@DiaJin 🌻🌞💚💚💞
"The head thinks, but the heart knows." Keep following it 〰
🎉love the last practice. I started shifting into this mindset about a month ago. It feels soooooo great!
this focus on self worth is so important! and building our own inner home! i have struggled sometimes with focusing too much on how to please others or get someone else to make me feel safe in their “home”. has anyone experienced and overcome that - and how did you do it?
You are Smart and universally beautiful
you're sooo adorable god! i LOVE THE WAY YOU TALK , thank you
so much for these great words
Thank you for this video, it's so timely and it just really resonated with me. I appreciate how you've provided real life applicable practices in a way that's easy to understand 🙂
I’m Asian too so I didn’t have the most western orientated childhood I wanted, recently I went through a dramatic change, I’m not sure what happen specifically, maybe it was the slightly difficult talk I had with my sister and I ask her to change but she still didn’t wanted to change, maybe it was when I went to a bridge and learned to gradually get over my fear of heights. Not sure what the specific reason is but I finally feel less stuck, I have never felt this good and never had an extremely high sense of self worth, my body language is very confident and my mindset has changed to place myself first.I think I also am kinder which I didn’t imagine I would be since it wasn’t taught to me as a child.
I had also felt I had lots of potential but never fully got to realize it because of my family, I feel a little closer to my ideal self. Right now I do seiza sitting, meditation, practicing with my voice, will try to learn much about gestures, trying to type better, focusing on some appearance stuff, learning to touch type.
People feel insecure about rating their appearance and I don’t feel that way anymore, I think there an objective rating(and I think it’s important to have an objective rating)but I think there should also be a separate rating because on your self worth. I can objectively rate myself a 0/10 and be fine with it since I’m more than a number on a scale and people are too.
Welcome back stranger its been a loooooooooong time. Hope to see you return more often with videos about the outdoor community travels.
Thank you! Travel is definitely not out of the equation 😊
It's hard to respect yourself when you feel like a Ioser. My boss doesn't believe in me. She was once upset I had signed up for a one-person shift, because she didn't think I could manage alone. She was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that, I don't know how much clearer I can get for you to listen" and she told me I need someone there to give me instructions and guide me. Sure, I'm a slow learner and have messed up at work before, but the automatic assumption that I'm heIpIess, while our newer workers are allowed to work alone, it just bothers me. And I just found out that my sister defended me from a classmate who called me the r word. He said I was just a guy with disabIities (I have learning difficulties and ASD). And he ridicuIed the fact that I still live at home at 28 and went to a small charter school instead of his and my sister's public high school.
I’m sorry to hear this. Keep your head up. I hope things get better for you.
maybe u do need assistance? how is ur self awareness
@@episode40 Well, what do you mean by assistance? In life? To restore my pride and confidence?
You shouldn’t feel like a loser, it just sounds like you don’t have enough people in your life who acknowledge your strengths. Developing a firm self concept can help with this. Having disabilities does not mean you cannot work alone, and your boss missed an opportunity to reaffirm confidence in someone that could have been a dedicated employee.
Listen I do understand you all you need to do is ask yourself not what Ather people tell you your boss could never know your power so you ask yourself can I do the shift alone if it was a yes then you need to chow her that you can and if it's not then change the company you can't stay in a place we're it deasnt help you to feel enough and confident as if it's a no then that's okay you learn and then you will get to be better than before@@johnrainsman6650
I really hate it when people say shit like "Trauma is not your fault but it is your responsibility" I know. We all know. Why do you have to say that? It comes across so insensitive to the struggle we all get put through, something we never asked for or deserved. And if we didn't know it was our job to fix it we wouldn't be here. It's not a 'victim mentality' we were victims, period.
It feels isolating, like people see you as something that's affecting and hurting everyone else and until you learn to deal with yourself you need to stay away from others when what you want is support. You should be allowed to want the support you didn't get as a child, to not be told you're some kind of burden who only hurts people because you didn't heal fast enough.
If someone is looking at these kinds of videos they already know something is wrong and are making efforts to fix it, I don't think they need to be told the ship has sailed, that their moment's past and now they need to suck it up and do the work. It feels invalidating, like we're the problem we were told we were as children. And it's so damaging when what you need is help and other people tell you "nope. that's your problem, your responsibility to fix it."
Maybe that's not what you meant but to me at least that's exactly how it came across. Like all the suffering is boxed into some cliché phrase. It makes it hard to seek help because you're just being a burden again. People need help. It's not a solo journey and you're making it sound like one.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I actually feel a lot of empathy for everything you’ve written, and it’s the reason why I kept diving into literature, and teachers, and anything to help me ease the pain of what the past has created in me in present day.
Perhaps in adulthood, someone or a community could come along and unconditionally love all the pain away, and we could be whole again. Grasping that thing which we lacked but have been longing for our whole lives.
It has not been my own personal experience. I believe this can be a way to heal. And it is a huge part of it. Our connection to what’s outside of us, those we heal with together.
However, the desire to be that unconditional love to another can also create another victim in this reality. Someone can be told a million times that they’re loved and they’re safe, but unless somehow they themselves find the compassion and forgiveness and love within, they may never come to believe it or feel it. And this leaves the rescuer, however well intended they are, out in the cold.
I wish you all the very best. 🩵
oh my gosh! i’m so glad someone said this! you put exactly what i’ve been thinking into words.
Always insightful. Your presence is missed on TH-cam. Hope to see more in the near future. 😊
I’m holding myself to it! Appreciate the encouragement as always 💖
Outstanding video! I just stumbled upon this. You are an extremely poised and articulate speaker.
Great thoughts you are sharing based on direct experience and self-reflection.
You are fantastic! Bless you! Stay strong and carry on!!!
Interesting insights, I have also come to similar conclusions through a lot self-reflection and reading.
It's crazy how we're put on this planet with a mind that constantly tells us we're not good enough and then everyone just has to constantly deal with this inner critic for 70-80 years without going insane.
ha yes, it is a delicate balance to have enough self-awareness to be humbled by our own natural imperfections, yet also enough courage to try and get out of our own way.
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Thank you! You’re beautiful 💝
Love this!! These are practical practices that make sense. It wasn’t like those basic how to gain confidence videos.
Lots of wisdom! I'm currently reading "The Self Esteem Workbook" and there are lots of overlaps. GREAT book that's shifted my perception and is helping me overcome social anxiety and achieve things.
Happy to see you again, Dia!💐 I missed your pretty face a lot 😚 And thank you for sharing your thoughts on self-worth. It's a very important topic as many people lack a fair share of self-worth. Without it a happy and satisfying life is practically impossible so you hopefully contribute to the well-being of many people!
Waiting for your next video now ... 😎😊
First of all, I loved the video 10/10, you gain a new follower.❤❤
Second, it makes me remember about a situation that happened to me a weeks ago and which still not sure if I'm in the wrong or not.
I got out with this boy a few times (only as a friend) and I was comfortable with him but in the last time when he knew I was single, he changed, he make more jokes and was super close to me physically and I started to feel really uncomfortable with him. My actitude to him of course changed, and he told me a few times I can tell him everything but I trully don't feel safe around him anymore and Idk if I'm being cruel for not telling him but I want to trust my instincts, maybe he was just being friendly? Idk I'm still struggling to set boundaries with him because I feel like a bad person.
excellent video very well presented yestreday i put on red and pink in the morning and last night i found you. i went through all day forgiveness to all those who invalidated me
it was soothing listening to this, very helpful
Would you believe I was just thinking about what you were up to just a few days ago. Now I'll get back to the video. 👍 ....... Definite words of wisdom and a very professional presentation. 🥀🌼🥀 Thank You ☮
Ah so glad to “see” a familiar face! Thank you for thinking of me and I hope you’ve been well! 🩵🩵
That book is soo goodddddd, loved it
dayummmm thats so profound knowledge in simpler words
Thank you for this video !
Thank you for watching :)
Very informative 👏 ❤
Thanks for the video. Good stuff.
In the last part though, how something is received is based on how something is presented. So it is within our control, which means it can be our responsibility. Of course, there is no need to force something but it is a skill that can be learned and improved upon
❤ Thank you!!! So good, wise Mindsets and steps to cultivate self worth without the need to achieve society’s measurement of success and worth
Very well explained. Thank you
This was lovely. Thank you.
Wow I got hella emotional during this video... Thanks for putting this kind of content out there. Somehow, I viewed it as like my big sis having a talk with me... again, thanks so much.
Okay so I want to say something
Me and my friends have group chat but I'm the one who is most active . I text a lot while they all left me on seen. But the next moment I'll see them talking n texting. If I leave the chat then they say I'm putting on a show.
I started conversation most of the time despite my heavy busy days. But they also say they happy to have me but there words and actions aren't same.
What should I do??
First, *Thank You, Dia❣* I didn't intend to comment, but I gained some timely insights here that are greatly beneficial/helpful to me.
Second- and TBH this is what prompted me to comment, I searched my public library db online for the book you suggested, and the numbers are as followed:
Book - 2024; All copies in use; Holds: 3 on 1 copy
Book - 2018; All copies in use; Holds: 43 on 15 copies
eBook - 2018; All copies in use; Holds: *226* on 11 copies
*Downloadable Audiobook* - 2018; All copies in use; Holds: *353* on 20 copies
*POPULAR BOOK‼* 😅
At least the newest edition has fewer holds, hopefully it is the same as earlier editions (or added info to the earlier, _unchanged)._ Fortunately, am in no rush; I'm sure I will be reading it in/by Autumn, perfect in time for my bday.
Omgosh! I didn’t think they’d be so popular! 😅 happy reading, whenever you’re able to get your hands on them, would love to hear your thoughts after. 🫶
This helped me a lot thanks.
Absolutely spot on, another great video. Peace
Thank you! ❤
Really love your content! Wishing you so much growth ❤ Thank you!
aw I really appreciate that, thank you! 💖
Well said!!
Hollyyyyy you're back and haven't changed one bit. Great to see you doing well and wishing you all the best.
Ahh thank you! Wishing you all the best too 😊❤
Holidays are extremely difficult when you want to lock yourself away, but don't want to miss talking with siblings, whom you rarely speak to....
I read that book! the mention of it got me to subscribe lol as well as your "we can begin again" philosophy
The book definitely gave me a light-bulb moment, the language was not convoluted and maybe that’s why it worked so well. So glad to have you here! 🩵😊
Stop my name is Dia too it’s so cool so see a name twin! Subscribed!!😂
Loved this video - thank you for the book reccs! ❤
Of course! 💖
Beautifully thought out and spoken💗
i freaking needed this!!!!
love this!
Love your videos .. really making a difference ❤🙏
Thank you for your kind words! 🩵
Beautiful! ❤
Such a wonderful wise video, thanks!!
Excellent video thank you
Gratitude and thank you ❤❤❤❤❤
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Thank you so much I needed this
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Well said. Thank you!❤
Thanks for watching 😊❤
you’re mesmerizing
UPDATE: Thank you to all the people that left thoughtful and considerate comments. I am in a much better place now, but sadly I won't be reading and replying to the comments here as it's not my video I am not the content creator and while I can see it has prompted many of you to comment, it's just my opinion and my comment still stands. I have been called conventionally beautiful my whole life too, but beauty does not make you immune to trauma, struggle or indeed illness and ultimately death. We are all on a journey. I am on mine. I think what I've learned from some of these comments is that I am going at my own pace, so please respect that and leave me alone now, I am not interested in anymore comments from people, those who left the best ones I read them and took heed.
Original Comment Below
It’s so easy for beautiful people to talk about this garbage. I have been in therapy for years. Have done yoga, meditation, journaling, shadow work, Pilates, self talk and I am no closer to self worth. The world receives you based on who you are and what social class you belong to. I committed every day to self talk, doing somatic dance, trying to self parent. No closer. Nothing. You also have to make a living, eat, socialise and all of that undoes all the efforts. It’s hard. I’m exhausted. Ready to go.
I’m truly sorry you are feeling this way right now. My own healing journey has been very slow and incremental(more than a decade), and I’m still working through plenty of things. And more times than you can imagine, I’ve felt exhausted at the effort it takes to simply exist. This is not an individual condition but a human one. I know words may mean very little, but truly, you’re not alone in feeling this. And even though I don’t know your particular unique story, I hear you and I feel your pain. I hope someday you’re delighted by your own courage and resilience to keep going, and know that sometimes, that’s more than enough.🩵
You are probably missing the knowledge of your purpose of being born as a human being.
@@darshanagupta9741you are so tone deaf it’s unreal. Did you READ my comment?
This sounds like you’re projecting your insecurities onto her.
Get back to doing the work and learn to trust yourself. You decide your own worth and don’t settle for society’s expectations.
@@sonny1redvwof course I am. Bec the video is very triggering. Didn’t you read all the internal work I’ve been doing??? Think before you speak. All this self righteousness is the reason why people can’t speak their mind and be vulnerable. At least I am honest and in touch with my feelings. We all project from time to time. You are not perfect. You’re just a human and a random commenter on the internet like me. People love shaming others into silence or submission. Maybe work on that? At least the creator was kind and thoughtful with an empathetic response.
My best wishes to you thanks for all your effortlessly jobs for the next generation
You are wise 🎉
If our self worth is not tied to our body or any external factors , what it should be tied to then ?
Sometimes the youtube algo works just right.
Very rare to see beauty and brain at the same time. Well done.
Thank you🥰
yeeeahhh Dia!!!!!
Thanks for the hype!! 🤪💖
How do you accept your traits but not let it define you?
I think you take a soft approach. This is who I am right now, who I am sometimes, but maybe not always. There may be a day when I no longer fit the previous versions of myself, or parts of myself. When that day comes, I can claim those versions too. Willing to shed and embrace iterations as they meet us. 💗 I remind myself that whoever I become, all those versions are also me, authentically. We’re always in a state of change and flux, you get to decide what to hold onto and what to let go of by way of experiencing and living into the new versions.
@ You are amazing! Thank you. I’m listening through your videos on the daily. I’ve never had someone say the exact things I’m thinking with practical help. Thank you so much! You’re a blessing! Keep creating! 🙏 🫶🏼
Sooooooooo Sweeti!!!!!!!!!!
Tanks ❤
How can survive todays timed ?
are you related to mc jin?
Pointed.
But why would I want to do all that work just to improve the life of my least favorite person?
My family told me that I'm not mature
Conceive, believe, achieve.😂
Hey Dia , very good video . I can do better editing in your videos which can help you to get more engagement in your videos . Pls lmk what do you think ?
Hi there, not sure if you’re the one who reached out via email. Please send me an email: contact@herewithdia.com
@@DiaJin Sure , Appreciate it , thankyou !
Have you ever considered becoming a movie star or a model ??
So cute
❤
The lady is gorgeous.