Psychology Skill of the Week I Messages

Psychology Skill of the Week - 'I Messages'
Welcome to another instalment of Psychology Skill of the Week - 'I Messages', with school Psychologist, Dr Carla Humphrys.
There are three parts to an 'I Message'
1. I feel (angry, hurt, confused, lonely, worried, uncomfortable, etc)
2. When
3. I want
For example - "I FEEL worried WHEN you don't tell me you will be late. I WANT you to please call or send me a message so that I know you are ok".
"I statements" are helpful because they come across as less blaming. This means that the person you are talking to will be less likely to jump on the defensive straight away, and instead hear what you are actually trying to communicate.
Speaking from your own perspective through using an "I statement" helps the other person understand where you are coming from as well as the impact their behaviour is having on you.
It is also clear and concise, and there is no "off track" information that can distract from the message.
A reminder that when using 'I Messages' we still need to be respectful and polite. Saying "I feel upset when you act so stupid" is still not the correct way to communicate an 'I Message'.
* While these videos are related to psychological themes, the content does not constitute therapy and it is not a substitute for professional mental health help or medical care. Please seek assistance from a qualified mental health or medical professional to obtain advice or psychological treatment that is tailored to your specific needs. *