@@rhiannonb.61 You are so right. I lived in a commune some years back and they were all evil narcissists. When we had our monthly meetings everyone was supposed to say something about what was going on in their life but I refused to share any information about myself but just said why? So you can use it against me at some later date?
I’ve noticed this, careful what I say it’ll be used against me or even copied. Example I’m not perfect I said then later he did something mean on purpose and said I’m not perfect
I have learned to hide all my family history and most of my friends. Never say what foods I like or hate. So much hidden. I always pause before I speak or answer any question. What a life!!!!!!!
OMG! One time I said to my ex..."Why don't you just put me through the wall I'd heal quicker" to which he responded....."Do you think I'm stupid enough to leave marks?"
@@sheilagibson510I said sometimes I think you hate me and would end me and he said, “ I’d never risk going to jail “ He rolls his eyes over things that truly matter to me.
And how can you live with that. I am now 51 and been in recovery so long - since age 42 I was able to finally separate emotionally from my egg donor. But when I got sober in 1999, she no longer could use me for her supply, so she began to suck the blood from my firstborn. he is now 30 - I ache for him and for me
@@FRED-OCSOthis is what I’m dealing with too (false allegations) while also (of course) being accused of making false allegations about him that are definitely true (that I am not planning to use to get him in trouble anyway, but still true. Thing is, his aren’t. They’re blatant lies.🙄) Good luck to you! 🍀
@@acaciajessamine To you as well. In my case, she's made two already that were proven false. But apparently there's no legal penalty for them making false allegations. No risk for them so they continue. Until that changes the cycle continues. Stay strong.
To the last one I would add the "smirk" they have when you are torn apart and looking for them to care. They want to let you know they don't care and enjoy watching your pain.
I have noticed the smirk only when they are getting enjoyment out of their treatment. My mom can't hide that smart, although she tries. I think she believes no one sees that smirk.But we do, and we know exactly what is in that devious mind.
My mother used to praise my sibs to make me feel bad about myself, but if I praise them she gets all negative about them. Always manipulating. It would be sad if so much harm hadn’t been so joyfully undertaken.
I learnt after many years (slow learner) not to tell him of my achiements or joyful experiences as he'd somehow ruin my happy mood.What he did enjoy hearing about were my failures or disasters.
For me, I was able to leave physically, but I became what I hated - all children become their parents - I became my egg donor - I was not able to forgive her until age 42 - it finally gave me freedom
One time I suddenly found out an old friend had died. I came home and sat down in shock and cried. My husband came through and asked what was wrong. I told him. He said, "Oh well." and walked off into the kitchen whistling cheerily! It wasn't even a habit of his to whistle so it was totally deliberate to sadden me further, which it did. What he didn't realise was that it was another nail in the coffin and would one day help me rather than hurt me.
@@RS54321 Yes ...one day I stopped hoping and it was liberating! He did one of his explosions where I had once again needed to call the police. They said to me that time "you keep letting him come back so we will really have to stop treating your calls as a priority." That really helped me evaluate my situation. I couldn't keep doing it. He wasn't going to stop. It was going to be for the rest of my life if I let it, and be even more terrifying without the police helping me. The police had told him that without my agreement he couldn't come back. So I didn't agree ever again. My optimism had been hurting me and I put it in a better place. I used it for myself instead. He still phones sometimes, or visits without coming in the house. I am friendly but I told him he can't hurt me anymore because I have no hope left, and I have given up caring about being loved and loving someone. He said, "thanks a lot!" Haha ..he was offended because I told him he couldn't hurt me anymore! He actually can hurt me by making me sell the house but because I still talk to him if he phones etc he sees me as useful so isn't forcing me to sell. I paid the mortgage all along but the law would let him have at least some money and that would make me lose my home. He threatened it one day and I said if he made me sell I would move so far away he would never see me again! Since I am the only stable person he can talk to (his parents being the most nasty narcs ever!) he doesn't risk losing that listening ear. He's with someone else...on and off. I advise him on how to treat her, knowing he won't manage it for long. But there is no pain in me even for this, not even denial. I am free and my nerves are so much calmer.❤️
Same thing my father did when my mom's sister ( my aunt ) suddenly passed away..and when we gave him the news , he literally started whistling and singing songs after a few minutes.
The Black eyes, this is a thing with Narcissists!! My ex husband looked at me this way when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and again when he signed divorce paperwork. All I can say, it was truly pure evil starring at me. I knew for the first time in my life I had escaped my slow death not staying with the Narcissist husband.
I seen the black eyes in my ex a few times , the 2nd time he was choking me they turned black , I will never forget the devil I seen , I could feel the evil all around me …
I look back at old photos and see the sheer contempt and black eyes when I was behind the camera and our kids were not watching. There are 100's of them.
My narcissist father had black eyes and were caught several times in photos. When he died and finally had his eyes closed it was a huge relief for me and my sister. The evil was finally gone.
My mother was my narcissist growing up. She wasn't shy about how much she hated me. And then I married...another one! I won't go into details here about how many times I thought I was going to die with each of them, but I will say I divorced my husband and fled. Despite his threats to hunt me down and kill me I never heard from him again-I wasn't worth it to him, thankfully. But Mom. I stayed in my daughter relationship by first, never talking about any problem or decision I had to make with her. I always presented the conclusion so that I wouldn't get mixed up in doing what she wanted me to do instead of following my own reasoning. Second, I curbed her martyrdom by turning a blind eye to her "sick" voice, her criticism of me, her lack of caring and attempts to reign me in. I just pretended I didn't notice. These things helped a lot. But both of these individuals had a profound effect on me all my life. At age 72, I still have to tell myself, "you are good enough".
My mom is a Narc too and married and stayed with one for 19 years. I almost committed suicide and made up my mind left and never looked back. I’m 50 now suffering many medical conditions and lots of healing and therapy. Thank for sharing your story.
@@MarnexyzYes I had the same, a narcissistic mother, and feel the same way as you. I was unaware of narcissism so kept trying, trying. What a waste of life. I am 68yo. I was 50 before I became aware of this disorder. To anyone involved with one, get away as soon as you can. There is no other way.
The dark black eyes. My mom was a narcissist and had a personality disorder. She died in my birthday last November 2023. Best present I ever received. My freedom. I got out of prison. I’m 75 and suffered for 60 years thinking it was all me until about 2 years ago. I’m still in recovery. I was never enough.
One thing I notice, is they often dont seem happy to see you, or either seem unhappy/grumpy or emotionless when they see you, even if youre supposedly a friend. Like they often wont smile/greet you etc. They also more to remind you of their superior position. Not true of all narcs but true of the ones i know.
Yep! I came home from a trip one time, and my landlady never said 'welcome back' or 'how was your trip?' Just this dead expression coupled with her talking only about herself while she continued to mop her floor. She dominates every single conversation and doesn't really listen to others. She only asks me questions to gather info or to sound like a loving person, not to have any deeper connection with me (which is funny b/c when I moved in, she told me I was like family and that they're so happy to have me here--this is not at all how they've acted or how I feel.) She seemed mad that my friend had come to pick me up early one morning for surgery and came to their front door rather than my back door, making a passive-aggressive comment about it. When I said my friend was taking me to get surgery, she defensively replied, 'I didn't know you were getting surgery,' making it about her. I replied 'Yes, I told you about it last month.' She even said she'd write it down then so she could pray for me. She completely forgot (probably b/c it wasn't important to her) and then replied 'I didn't know' again. I've learned to share as little as possible and get my emotional needs met by my family, friends, and God.
@@pavementpounder7502 if I don't say good morning, no good morning, if I don't hug, we'll go months without a hug, no lip action (kiss), hardly any compliments, if he compliments, and I say thank you (politeness), he respond "why you say, the world doesn't revolve around you." In 14 years, NEVER, EVER smiled when he see me. During dating, he flowered me with gifts, trips, affection, sweet text, phone calls, etc. But as it got closer to the wedding, the real demon appeared. Lesson: I should have RAN LIKE I WAS ON 🔥.
@mentalhealthmattersthemost got so anxious before our wedding I canceled it. Now I realize why but I’m still here stupidly. feeling like I have to greet him joyfully or he’ll pout all day. Even when it’s me coming home, I have to say hello first wtf
@RS54321 that sounds about eight. Sorry you had to deal with that. I had a boss who was similar. Never seemed the least bit friendly, bad tempered, critical, unfair, always liked to emphasised her authority.
I was 18 years old, on my knees, sobbing, begging my mother to have some compassion and listen to what I had to say. I was in love, in college, and wanted to move in with my grandmother. I had never in the history of ever begged before, but I was desperately trying to find hope in our relationship; a relationship that was quickly dissolving as I reached adulthood and sought independence. That was the moment I realized she didn't love me... She looked at me with nothing behind her eyes, laughed like a villain, and said "crocodile tears." She seemed to enjoy seeing my shocked reaction. Her head tipped up in a prideful snear. There was pleasure on her face as I felt the worst pain of my life. Then she walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her. That was the day I decided to walk away and let go of the false idea I held that my mother was my friend. Something was terribly wrong with her and I refused to subject myself to her abuse. It's been 20 years since we last spoke, and it's not long enough.
I got it when he got his lover pregnant,I said, oh so you made the same mistake twice,well done! The pregnancy was meant to hurt me but I know he loves nobody but himself, I knew my baby was a mistake and now this baby with a really horrible woman that can help with dv and stalking,was just what this narc deserved. The sarcastic laugh was the result of my own psychopathic response. What was he expecting? Tears.. fxk him
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporees I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I had a boyfriend who said, regarding my appearance : "I think you do the best you can with what you've got to work with." Our relationship ended soon after....thank goodness!
Although he meant that to be cruel, that statement is true for everyone! We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got! The intention behind what he was saying indicates he sees people from a purely superficial, functional perspective, like they’re either useful to him or not.
My narcissistic husband hurt me so bad emotionally one day, that i had meltdown in front of him, and he just looked at me totally emotionless, like he had no idea why i was hurt. I didn't get a hug, an apology, and he never acknowledged what he had done. He just had a blank look on his face and was totally emotionally unavailable. 😢 You never know what is going on inside a narcissist's mind. They cant be trusted. Are they plotting against you? It took me 2 months with no contact to figure out he was a predator and at some point after we had been married a few months, i became the enemy and a target. Im done with the passive aggressive, manipulative behavior.
I was on the bathroom floor having a miscarriage and got “that look” before he walked out the house and left me there, alone with a two year old. Thankfully, I am no longer with him but getting out was hard, he’d isolated me and took my bank card. I was only allowed out to work. He even took note of my car miles to make sure I’d not been anywhere but work. I could go on but I won’t. I’ll never forget that look though.
Danish, you're the best! I'm so sorry that your childhood was so painful. The more and the sooner we learn about personality disorders, the happier and saner we'll be. There are a lot of fish in the sea. Figure people out before you trust them. Don't rush into love and sex. Your happiness and well-being are at stake.
My narc ex used to have a blank facial expression whenever I told her anything. No reaction. No emotion. No verbal response to me. Then, when we would be around other people, she was super expressive with her face and voice for every word someone else said.
@@c.g.bspendersashtray3037 I would ask about her day. i would share a funny story that happened a my job. I would ask general questions about topics she was interested in. One word responses or non responses every time. I later learned this shift in behavior began around the time she started cheating. I guess she didn't want to use up any of her emotional energy on me.
I seen the devil in my moms eyes. Cold and calculated. She had no pupils. Scared the hell out of me. I told her, "You're pure evil. She just kind of grinned. I got the heck away from her.
My husband's sister was the one with this behavior, and I have to say that the ugliest look she had had was a look of "sin"/ like a wicked smile, that she would use when she assumed an association with sex. This was so weird that I will probably never forget it. I almost thought I saw satan there.
Uff... Narcissistic abuse is one of the most destructive and dangerous forms of abuse in humankind. May God protect us from these evils and give us the strength to heal.
From my own experience completely agree. It's a form of mental cruelty and physical. An absolute nightmare for these that sadly experience it. Bless you all
He would look through me. And there were times I swear his eyes went black. One night he looked me in the eyes when I was emotional, and stared at me with COMPLETE lack of expression for FIVE full minutes without saying a word. I didn't know then... but I know now and am healing out of the relationship.
I personally think there is a spiritual (demonic) component to narcissism. The mannerisms and actions are the same almost across the board-once you know they're a narc, their playbook is obvious.
The pitch black eyes describe my ex perfectly. He is a covert narc. When he decided to be done with me, I remember most of these body language things happening. It was bone chilling.
Dang you outlined everything so accurately! I was so angry when my ex mocked me when I shared my emotions. He would especially make the last 2 expressions. But he would also roll his eyes a lot and sigh out of nowhere often. It’s like he wanted me to feel bad for him 24/7 and put my own needs aside. He neglected me, and nothing I did was enough. Each time he did this, I called him out on it, and he would say I’m imagining things. I was frustrated and upset, but as the abuse escalated, I knew things were out of my control. I left him, and he started begging and pleading for me to stay. When I said we were done, he stared at me with those predator eyes and I was very scared. Covert narcs are such dangerous people. STAY AWAY.
I just clicked on this video because of the title. Look for the facial expression they have when they think no one is looking. Especially when they were putting on an act and realized they are no longer the center of attention.
Yes! I was going through a box of old pics and the ones that were taken nonchalantly (like not posing for) you can see them in the background with certain facial expressions.
He has sighed deeply, but he also likes to make sure he has his phone in hand, and "accidentally" allows a video to start playing loudly, or he tries to busy himself with things that aren't important.
My father does this all the time when I’m reading. Or worse - he’ll start talking to me and when I try to get back to reading he’ll sigh loudly and shake his head, like I’m the biggest disappointment in the world.
That's what woke me up ! Photographs also can capture it. Like sneering , snarling ,loathing hateful look on their faces in a brief moment if you catch it. God Bless !🙏
Sociopaths have that smirk. A lot. My brother is a Narcissistic Malignant Sociopath. Every picture I have of him since childhood, he is smirking. Every.. single… one. He was cruel, and put me and my other sibling in danger many times. Stole from us, lied about us, you name it. Now he has stage 4 liver cancer and I’m supposed to give a shit.
@@wheresmycoffee8998 ... its a tough one for you to be in with a brother like that being a sociopath all his life and now in his death bed...I will personally be very careful and stay alert that such a personality cannot harm me anymore. I know from my own life that these kind of people will never change, even they are close to going over. Be good to yourself my friend and dont let toxic, cheating and evil people affect your life or come close to your life. Your brothers pathetic smoke show and dark energy will soon be over
The dead stare. You are talking about the exact things I've been observing and pondering. I agree with what you are saying. I've been with my partner 25 long, suffering years and it's become unbearable. No soul, no empathy. He also stares at me when I pour my heart out and I get creeped out every single time! He also does the pity party and he says he's a victim of me and my lack of appreciation of him. He's so tiresome and dull. I want to add that I am truly sorry you had a mom like that. My mom was emotionally absent, but she wasn't cruel she was just immature and young. Your mom indirectly helped to shape you into a wonderfully insightful Doctor that helps others! There are so many of us out here! Thank you for your work. I appreciate it so much.
They are the most insecure people you'll ever meet! Try to tear you down for being happy or excited about something, or for what you're wearing, to try and get you to be insecure like they are. It's constant, daily and soooo draining
My demon father never has any authentic facial expression except anger. He's creepy as hell when he smiles. He makes it a point to smile from ear to ear. And he changes his resting narc face to a full smile in 0 seconds. Used to creep me out and just add to all the other creepiness. My mother send me pics today although I've asked her not to send me the demons pics. His face is just pure evil. My mother send me pics because my maternal uncle and his wife are visiting them. I remembered one childhood memory about when the same uncle and aunt were visiting. My uncle, aunt and cousins were sleeping in one room and my brother and me had to sleep in the parents room. The demon was lying on his bed and I was walking past. My little brother was lying beside him and said something to me. My demon father JUMPED out of his bed and slapped me so hard that my nose started bleeding. Before he slapped me, he repeated some words that my aunt had said earlier during the day. The demon was angry that my maternal uncle and his wife were having a nice time and vent it out on me. And just imagine. The demon was lying on his bed, thinking and sulking. Then he jumped out of bed and started violently hitting me and made my nose bleed. I still remember how my nose burned, my mother rushed to the room. I rushed to the bathroom. And I still remember how I took my pillow and blanket amd went QUITELY to sleep somewhere else. That was because I did not want my uncle and his family to know what was going on. I felt ashamed. Just imagine all the things going on here: 1. The demon becoming violent and make me bleed 2. My brother completely traumatized because he thought its probably his fault that he talked to me and made the demon jump out of his bed 3. My mother rushing to the room and as always just witnessing the demons demonic behaviour and NOT doing anything 4. Me rushing to safety and at the same time not wanting anyone to know what had happened out of shame 5. The demon showing his demonicness. The demon was thinking about something my aunt had said and repeated those words to me before hitting me so hard that my nose started bleeding. Just imagine this demonic behaviour. The demon just jumped out of bed, out of his thoughts and vented out his demonic frustration on me. Hell is real. These people will definitely go to hell and BURN there. And BTW, I have been sending my comments to my mother on whatsapp. There are usually very detailled memories. She just writes back "Lies. All lies". People can act all good and nice, they will definitely go to hell for harming little, innocent and defenseless children.
I feel pity for you I have been going through the same thing traumatise thru my life first with by parents and siblings and then my narc husband and my children my eldest boy and my grandson and my daughter my father was the same traumatising me with physically abuse my mother's jealousy and power control they have no shame or goodness in them they a trusted evil minds
May you find peace through seeking God. Be so in your peace that you don’t want hell for those that harmed you. Be still in that peace that when that day comes you’ll not even want to witness God’s wrath upon those people…that day will come. I know because I too grew up being abused by my entire family to the point I believed the names they called me. I was beat into submission. I lost my voice until they treated my children the same way. My children gave me the strength to stand up and cut ties with my family. God gave me peace. May you seek God and allow God to dwell within you.
@@FullCircleMomentsNetwork Thank you for reminding me. True peace is when your memory loses its emotions. Its just there as an information. I know because I have been there in the space of true peace. Wish you peace as well 🙏🏻❤️
Not mine! She wanted to be the center of attention all the time. The fake personality with others, the fake smile, the fake happy mood. As soon as others were gone or not looking, it all faded away even for just a sec or two and she was a complete witch! Wild! Still recovering from all that.
The narc that was here used to do these facial expressions, but it didn't matter to me. He can bring his facial expressions with him in his grave. I know what he is up to. It doesn't scare me. My sanity and health are important to me. Go to hell, I will say.
Was married for 35 years to a pychopathic Narcassist. When I began working with adults with disabilities- mostly behavioral, I couldn't understand why some of them really set me off feeling very upset, creepied out and so on. One day one of them lay on the floor cackling loud and crazy. I suddenly was struck with the realization, my (now exhusband) would do this at times. There was an extrememly fine line between him and them. They had been court ordered into care. He would watch tv and movies studying the facial , body, vocal, etc attempting to put on their skin. In 35 years he NEVER cried. Our kids realized how off he was especially when he'd try and fain his love for them and rant, compete, demean over and over. This man sat in the courtroom under oath and lied again and again. When I confronted him from the witness stand he was stone cold and had his attorney file frivilous motions after the divorce determined to detroy me. I have no words for those wanting to know how to make a relationship better with a narcisist except - GET OUT
@@deborahgeller2764 they are demon possed, it's the same types of demons. There's no medication or therapy to fix them those evil monsters need to be casted out like the scriptures says. Amazing huh
True, I've experienced all those from them! Those are their typical facial expressions they usually show with their obnoxious behaviour. Narcissists use them to humiliate, invalidate and intimidate their victims to control and secure their supply.
I'm very familiar with all 7 facial expressions, and all observed in my father, who is now in his 90s. His behaviour has become out of control and even inappropriate and bizarre in his efforts to seek attention and glorification for his exaggerated and constantly reiterated life experiences and achievements. I feel physically sick in his company.
Im so sorry for where you are right now😳 I shared my similar situation with someone and it was helpful for me to be told 'soon you will be free'. That felt like truth
Narcissists seem to feel grandiose, or "the victim", lust but not love , jealous, greedy, insecure, apathetic, superior etc , but they don't feel remorse, regret, empathise, have the capacity for insight or reflection into their actions. Another of my sisters likes to look down her nose like she's SO superior
You are so very accurate with that description. I was domestic partner to a multimillionaire narcissist for 16 very difficult years. You seem to know a genuine narcissist like I do, like the back of your hand. I thank the Lord for all the strengths and obedience to Him, that I was indestructible by that man, time and time again, and today, left without even a scar upon my face. Thank you, Lord. For everything.
Fake doesn't begin to tell the story. If you are in one of these relationships, do yourself a favor, leave and don't ever go back. If you need your belongings, take someone with you, even better have a police officer escort you. Speak only to the officer. Be strong. Do not back down. TRY NOT TO BECOME EMOTIONAL. Do not cry. They will view you as weak. It's a tough position to be in but you can do it. Speak to the Narc only through another individual ... Police is best. Be STRONG AND ASSERTIVE.
)Wow! #2 DEAD STARE. I called it the lizard face, lol. Fits perfectly...I even have pictures of that expression!!! )And no matter WHAT I enjoyed, he mocked me and tried to make me quit whatever it was. Towards "the end", I finally just did whatever it was and ignored his ridicule. 19 years later
This was my narc ex's go to face and also emoji: 🙄 This face is more expressive than 1000 words. It's the face of never satisfied and constant complainer.
When I was younger I was attacked by what I’ve come to believe was a sociopath and one of the facial expressions I noticed about her was the need for constant eye contact. If I wasn’t looking at her every second she would put her face in my face. I use that as a red flag to this day.
When I was young I couldn’t understand it either. My mother would fix her eyes on me, even when she was eating. It made me uncomfortable but I couldn’t articulate why. She really couldn’t stand me even though I was the easier child and didn’t fight with her like my older sister did. I left home at 18 with a suitcase full of clothes and found that there was so much more to life than I was allowed to know at home. I found good people who had happy and healthy families. I thank God I got out young and had a career that helped me heal.
I've seen the cold, dead eyes in my narcissistic sister. Many times. I ignore it. I've had her hatred towards me all my life. She's my sister - not a partner, spouse, etc - so I didn't feel the emotions like that, of course. But I feel sick to my stomach. I don't like her and feel that very deeply.
I was trying to help my narcissistic husband when we got a flat tire on his truck in the mountains. The truck kept falling off the jack and I was scared he would get his hands trapped. He told me to watch the jack if it moved to tell him while he tried to put on the spare tire. Once again, the jack fell off, but this time hit the top of my foot very hard. While I was crying in pain, he says that he doesn't have any sympathy for me, because I should have not been so close to the jack. I told him I was scared for him and that's why I was so close. My foot was bruised and painful. He never showed me any sympathy until my sister in law was empathetic to me and told me to elevate it and ice it. I guess he didn't want to appear uncaring to his sister. I could write a book about his narcissistic ways. I'm so happy I divorced that nightmare.
So glad you got out! My situation doesnt sound as bad, but I’m working on it. Praying not another year goes by. 🙏 As a mechanic, i have to say (for anyone else that may read) that jacks should never be used to support a vehicle long term for that very reason. Jack stands make things safer. Of course, sometimes you only have a jack.. i can only assume he didn’t even properly lift the vehicle for it to constantly fall off. When a car is lifted, always give it the ‘shake/wiggle test’ before getting under/working around it!
I distance myself as much as I can from people who deliberately hurt me and I don’t let them turn me into a monster like them. It feels wonderful to be free of them, instead of wrangling with them. If i have to keep dealing with a malicious person, as I get older, I strive not to take it personally. Some people will always have bad characters.
The last one. I saw in my husbands eyes as pure hatred. At that juncture he almost seemed possessed by an evil energy. I certainly kept vigilance. Within 24 hrs he became violent. I was lucky Truly was protected by higher beings and was able to get away from him forever
The weird facial expression I noticed in several narcs is when they say something demeaning or try to callout a flaw and there eyes focus in, there lips are like quivering along with their body as if they are excitedly hoping, wishing and waiting for a negative reaction. It’s hilarious. I just stare back stoically.
I was living with my best friend and her husb for the past 5 yrs. I was married to an NPD for 16 yrs. Got free. Then fell for another one ten yrs later. Got dumped after 7 yrs when he decided to leave me for a man. Got homeless as I was disabled and not working. Got my disability got my life back. Rescued a dog from the SPCA. Had a good life! Then my twin flame died suddenly leaving a disabled adult son. He begged me to come live with him. Aft a year, dummy me went. Turns out it was a trap and he was NPD!! I had to beg a ride from Tn up here to Michigan to live at my best friends house. SSI chopped my benefit to where I can't live on my own! Now, five yrs in, my dearest friend died suddenly in my arms the morning of March 3. Now I am stuck living with the man she spoiled and did not know til 2 weeks before death that he is a Damon NPD! He has hurt me emotionally to unspeakable pain. Now my copd is killing me. I am recovering from hospitalization with pneumonia. This asshole has not spoken to me since I got home and turned the AC back on! He tries to control everything including my breathing. I am in the midst of arranging Dr visits and oxygen deliveries,. But I will get it together. Hoping to upgrade my disability and move out. But right now I just struggle to take my next breath. No family or friends or transportation. Screwed up right? I am 63 yrs old and ashamed I let my good heart stick me in this situation. I truly should have known better. Good luck to you hon, God bless!
As a person who looks away while truly cares about what you are saying and wants to validate your feelings, I appreciate that you mention that neurodivergent people might show interest differently. On the other hand, I do not think we roll our eyes at anything. If something was outrageously unfair or wrong, we will probably verbally point it out or leave the room because we cannot communicate and that is a lost battle. So that might help.
I have seen every single one of these facial expressions. I now have boundaries and only visit my mother once a week. Her poor sister is now her caregiver. That wasn't my choice. I know her sister did not realize what she was because they hadn't been around each other for the last sixty years. I told my aunt what she would be dealing with and how my mother was our whole life. My mother had her convinced that I was a troublemaker. My aunt believed I was the source of moms problems. My brothers went against my judgment and allowed her to move in with my aunt. I understood why. We are all exhausted from dealing with her our entire lives. Now my aunt calls me daily. She is now the target for my moms venom. Everyone else in her life has dropped off due to her behavior. My aunt now understands what we were dealing with. I feel so bad that she now is the target. When I visit 1 time a week, mom finally realizes she can't get to me. She still tries. I grey rock and divert. I watch all those facial expressions going toward my aunt. But I will never allow her to mentally bring me down ever again
I had been on an international trip for 2 weeks. When I got home he got up to let me in the house and then went back to bed. No hugs nothing. He also liked to leave the room when I was talking.
@@ursulamargrit wow they all do the same things. Never before in my life did someone do that to me, the ultimate in disdain. I spent 8 years trying to get through to my guy before I left. And in the7 years I've been gone, he's still the same. I hope you find peace.
Oh my God ...I am a widow now and you have just explained my husband of 20 yrs. He died of cancer in 2014, before he died he changed all legal aspects of our marriage and put it in the hands of his nephew.. I have been seriously effected by a narcissist who took full advantage of me right to the very end ...I am a fool for taking care of him the way I did !! It makes me feel nauseous.. when I think of all he did ...for no reason ?? I'm 70 yrs old and my life should be so much better ...but instead his small family has reaped the benefits of the man I knew for 24 years ?? Obviously there is a long story that goes with 24 yrs. and how it all happened ? But in the end I feel like our 20 years of marriage meant nothing to him...I meant nothing to him... The NARCISSIST BETRAYED me beyond measure !!!! I actually have violent nightmares now and I never did before his death... Not being able to have a conversation with him... to ask why he would do the awful things he did behind my back.. all while I was taking care of him ...all while knowing he was going to die soon ??? It eats me alive inside ...I'm not hurt anymore... I'M JUST ANGRY !!!! My anger comes out when I sleep .... My heart goes out to anyone who's lives have been forever effected ( Infected ) by a NARCISSISTIC MONSTER !!! If you are in this type of relationship,this type of - partnership - " GET OUT " if you can ? "GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN" !! 💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜 Many Blessings, Stand Strong, Don't Believe Most Of What They Say, You're Good Enough, Remember Who You Were Before You Met Them, You Matter Too !!! 🤗💜💕
Dear Dorothy, I am so sorry for all you have endured and the anger you feel now. I want you to know that even though your husband betrayed you, life will still support you. You put goodness into the world. It will come back to you, likely not from where you would expect, but just stay open to the possibilities of goodness coming your way. Forgive yourself for staying. You lived according to your standard, not his. It might have been better to leave but you stayed and honored the vows you made. That is honorable in its own right. I’m not saying that you should stay in an abusive relationship, only that you upheld the promises you made and can take comfort that you did not increase his suffering although you could have. In other words, you did not sink to his level. You are a woman of merit. 💖
I am so sorry what you have gone through! I can understand to some degree! One can look back and thank the Lord you didn’t go crazy! But God!!! I have found the Lord my Saviour to be my friend, my helper and in reality He has become my everything! He goes before in ways I cannot explain! I know He is the perfect judge so as His child I am learning to leave justice with Him!!
I'm so truly happy for you. My son is getting married tomorrow. I couldn't call him out on his lies with my response prior to the wedding because he scares me that much. Next week I need to face it with whatever courage I can muster.
I ended relationship with my sister because of her endless drama and her uncontrollable behavior! I suggested we go into counseling together to address issues but she declined. Been 2 yrs. of calmness and normalcy now without her issues. My sister recently suggested through her daughter, that we just forgive one another, not bring up situations from past and resume our relationship! Again, I told her if she was willing to go to counseling with me and work out conflicts, I would consider it! She refuses to seek counseling for herself…sad! I will NOT engage in or enable a “Narcissist! I remain drama free and pray for my sister daily. I do miss her but will NEVER subject myself again to anyone trying to control my environment. Watch out people, set boundaries and never allow anyone to rob you of your joy! You DO matter! ❤
I did the same with my sister. She shunned me for a whole year and then sent flowers and acted like nothing happened. I cried for the whole year and then came to know that she is one of these sick people. Earlier in our relationship she would demand that we go to therapy together. I went twice, with two different therapists; each time during the first meeting, it became uncomfortable for her and she stopped the session and cancelled any further visits. She couldn't manipulate the therapists, so she bailed. I am so much more at peace now that I told her definitively, "No relationship building; just civil protocol if we happen to meet." I pray for her and her family also.
My sister got upset at boundaries i put in place for my kid. Sister threw a fit and blocked me on social media, for a second time! I just had to laugh. After the first time, she spouted the typical ‘forgive and move on,’ and she doesnt want to talk about the past. I wasnt bothered by it, had an ‘ok, whatever’ attitude and we got back to talking.. This time i’m done with her. She used my mom to still try gifting things or saying hi to my kid. I constantly have to remind my mom that sis lost the privilege to even speak to my kid, since my sister doesnt think she has to respect said child. Of course my mom is abusive and a bit manipulative as well, having narcissistic traits. Lots of toxicity in my family, which lead me to choose shitty relationships. 😒 it’s definitely peaceful to avoid all the drama!
Number 7 sent chills down my spine. Pitch black soulless eyes staring at me and an evil laughter; signing divorce papers.. now I can’t sleep and going down the TH-cam rabbit hole in the name of self care!
Yes. I am 56. I have had to go " no contact with my narcissistic mother and brother". Breaks my heart, but I know they will never change. I'm still messed up. I've done so much therapy and worked so hard on myself. But it seems the PTSD never goes away. I just understand it better now. I keep to myself. Don't socialize really. I like my own company. 😊
Thank God you did that! I left physically in 1999 but it was not until 8 years ago that I was able to forgive and to leave emotionally. I am finally free.
It took me 70 years to figure out my sister was a narc. The hardest part for me was the grief in giving up the hope that we could ever have a normal, loving, sisterly relationship. In retrospect, I beat myself up for having been so naive for so long. I just kept thinking that if I was "a little nicer" to her, that she would change. My mother died never knowing exactly what the problem was with my sister, so, although it took me so long, at least I am at peace now, having given up the false hope of any type of reciprocal relationship with her, thanks to the internet and all the great psychologists who have exposed these vampires of humans.
@@elizabethblane201 hi Elizabeth 😁👋 my adult daughter's have been drawn into it all now. I'm gutted. My mother has been in their ears all these years. She now has them convinced that I'm the narcissist because I refuse to have contact. It hurts a lot. But I know the truth so I'm hanging on to that. And life goes on. Much love from Christchurch NewZealand 😁🌸💗
Indeed. I had a housemate who would "borrow" my clothes without permission and I told her, "I don't mind if you borrow something, just ask first." Nope. When I was away for work, I came back home and put on a dress that suddenly wouldn't zip up *after* I'd lost weight. I couldn't figure it out until I inspected the dress, turned it inside out, looked at the seams and found that she'd altered the dress to fit her! I couldn't believe it. I blew up at her and what did she do? Smirked and did the silent treatment. Later, I went away for work for 3 months and I'd bought a pair of shoes which I HID under a pile of fabric before I left. They were new and still in the box. She offered to pick me up from the airport and when I got off the plane, she was *wearing* the shoes. She said, "oh look at these cool shoes I found." I told her, "yes, I hid them from you because I didn't even get a chance to wear them yet." I was clueless also to what others could see. A friend told me, "why do you hang out with her? She's always copying you." It didn't even occur to me until she pointed it out.
3:31 we victims roll our eyes in exasperation as the last spoken thing we thought might work again hit their brick wall, it's the way the eyes throw up hands, desperately. Narcs do it in hopes of silencing us early on.
My narc gave me a nasty look at the farmers market out of no where. It felt like rotten feces. That's was when I left the bedroom and in 14 days i will have my FREEDOM back
My egg donor would do this at court, at my son's concert, at my other sons events -always behind the scenes. For decades I used to react b/c I had anger.
Thank you for acknowledging that neurodivergent people may be avoiding looking at your eyes, too, and they aren’t narcissists. Thanks for that. It was refreshing. :)
I have experienced the cold stare a lot. As a child it really scared me. It seemed like she was planning something nefarious. Also, the head shaking; like she’s saying no, you have not healed. You never will heal. I’ve seen to that.
Wow I can't believe I found this channel, it's like a support group of people who have been through all the things my mind couldn't even begin to describe. Incredible content, I hope to learn how to deal with my narcissistic mother.
Never get involved with a man who didn't have his mother (through death or just not a healthy relationship). Those men who didnt have their mother will abuse & mistreat you. Dont say i didnt warn yall
That part! And if they didn't have there dad, a healthy dad. If they were hurt by an ex really bad... all that u healed trauma will definitely be taken out on you.
I think this is absolutely true! He has no respect for me, does not know how to value me as his wife or mother of our children, I’m second and third to everything and every other person in his life. His mother died when he was 22. His father never showed the mother respect either. The more and more I listen to these traits I can’t even believe I didn’t know this is what he is. It’s a very sobering moment. 😢
So true.......... You shoud get to know about MY toxic family. Father mother brother sister .......the list goes on. And on and on. Now living in another city to avoid the cocktail of toxicity.
@@YoungSheley I hear you...I've wanted to hide from them for years...I'm too old to uproot, I'm stuck here...all I can do...is stop associating with her and there goes our son...a rock and a hard spot. She would like it if she never saw us again...this is the second son I've gone through this with...the other one got so broken over what she did, she even bragged that she was glad she ruined my son. evil abounds!
A strangely shivering/trembling upper lip especially while they are sucking supply from the victim and/or a fluttering eye lid and/or a twitching corner of their mouth. These expessions I have come across a hunded times when dealing with a narcissist. They get so excited while sucking energy out of their victims that they can hardly control their facial expressions. My mother used to make a very weird looking sucking motion with her mouth whenever she was humiliating or beating me as a kid.
Thank you, I’m autistic and ADHD. Often mistaken for this. People truly need to do their homework on this subject. Too many labels being thrown around.
"Narcissist" is one of them. People who have trouble regulating their own emotions or who have BPD tend to label everyone who are close to them (mother, siblings, boyfriend, husband) as narcissistic, as people with BPD are extremely needy and have to be the center of the attention, they won't tolerate people who are closer to them to give attention to anything or anyone but them. Your boyfriend, husband, or mother aren't only there to praise you or telling you that what you do is fantastic and that they love you 200 times a day. NPD is a spectrum, and everyone is narcissistic to a certain degree, but very few have it to the point of being a disorder. BPD is far more common.
My adult Son has ADHD , and the ex Nerc believes he has ADHD there is a difference my son has triats of a Nerc but they genuinely at times don't know why they do things , my Son is getting better and he knows his actions is all about him,🙏🏾 but the ex Nerc knows full well know of their intention I want to justify their actions . Gas lighting ect
This is true, I do the eye roll thing when I have been told the same thing 30x and they could quit talking and I'll finish the next 10 minutes of their monologue. I too am AU and I just recently discovered the blank face helps me when ppl are trying to control me. I put it on and they start explaining themselves in a panic. Usually when they should have never been saying those things in the first place. Puts them on their heels. It has set me free in ways I never imagined. It points out how ridiculous they are being. Then I ask what do you mean? And it gets even better. I hate that I have resorted to dishonest exchanges. It now occurs to me that folks have been dealing with me or handling me to get what they want for years and I have rushed in to meet expectations and needs that were never my responsibility.
My narc husband hangs his head when I state my opinion about something if it is contrary to his opinion. He will sometimes add a fake laugh, and often talks under his breath so I will ask him what he said.
You nailed it! That fake laugh and the 'not paying attention' irk me the most. It's sad that so many people don't see the narc for who they are, but I guess you have to go thru narc abuse to finally see it, and then run! I love your accent, btw!
the cold dead eyes with no sclera showing? YESSS !!! very scary- I prayed ( “ I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, our Lord and savior “ - silently)… and he went away! Any strong faith based prayer will work - depends on your background…
I grew up the same as you Danish. My mother too was a narcissist, but I didn't know this until I was much older and was seeing a psychologist. On the very first visit she went through my history, and naturally, that included my mother. Toward the end of the session, she said, "You know what, it sounds like your mother was a narcissist." I sat there in shock. Suddenly, my whole life made sense. What I think is even sadder, I was adopted, and anything I did or said that she didn't like, she'd say: Well, I tried to raise you properly, but I guess you have too many of your mother's genes." My psychologist gave me an article describing the narcissist mothers, what they do, what they say and why they say it, but best of all, it explains how it affects daughters. I think there was 35 points, and my mother ticked about 28 of them. I showed it to my husband, and all he could say was: "That's child abuse." I guess that sums up narcissistic parents.
Ad an adoptive mother, I know that there is nothing worse for your child than putting down her or his biological parents. How tragic! She should have been found out during the pre-adoption process and been rejected as an adoptive parent.
Somewhere in Dorian Gray it says something about a cold cruel turn of the lip. Like the stars go out of their eyes and they enjoy seeing you hurt. That’s exactly what I’ve seen too and I’ll never forget the sight.
Your videos are scarily accurate my friend. You are so clued up on this topic! These last two videos I've watched are so spot on the mark they're uncanny. Mine does the pitiful victim smile and the snake eyes stare. The eyes only Jaws the shark would have before killing you. He is always the victim. Acrually starves himself and eats very little to create a campaign against me so he is seen as the weaker spouse. My mother who died last September also had the dead souless eyes at times. You're very correct in what you tell us..all of these things are true.
Brother and his wife are masters of all those facial expressions. I dealt with it by walking away in every way from them. Ignore and don't engage is the way to achieve peace with yourself. You will never achieve peace from a narcissistic person. Hard lesson learned and I continue to apply what I've learned with everyone I meet. Once I decide to walk away, I'm done and there's no second chances for those kinds of people because they can't be reasonable so I'm not going to waste my life. I will focus on positive things and people who value me.
I was married to a narcissist for 25 years, and didn't know what a narcissist was! But I experienced all of these expressions. I learned what conversations were allowed and not allowed, and walked on egg shells until I finally had to leave.
A pathological narcissist allows only conversations about them, all other topics are eyes-rolled or interrupted in the middle by walking away, or switching to smartphone or another activity that breaks the conversation. If your partner was milder than that then he might be less pathological.
Mine would literally shut his eyes when I would speak, simultaneously talking over me hurling insults. Nothing is ever resolved, your emotions and needs are “Excuses” I wouldn’t even get the hoover love bombing, he would love bomb himself in front of me whilst devaluing me, because I was lucky to have him and need him, according to him. I have to admit I adopted the eye roll. The constant word salad whilst preaching his so called superior word become so tedious I couldn’t hide my contempt for it. Every area of your life will suffer if you let them in.. Just RUN! They bring the absolute worse out in you because you are constantly in fight or flight at the constant disregard and insults. Hardest relationship of my life. He didn’t break me though.
Our little old man narcissist make the most unbelievable faces as he paces up n down the street in front of neighbors houses with a metal pipe, really crazy eyes😊
My supervisor at work is like this. I have seen him bug his eyes out and grimace his mouth. Sometimes he makes deep frown faces. Ugly faces like the demon is coming out.
@@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht I'm better off finding another job. She was a kill-joy in that office. Now I just need to recover from some mean parting words she had for me.
This is so true. Seen that blank stare many times, the smirk also. The expression where they think they are a God. The expression where they are busy plotting things in their mind. They are pure evil
As I became more learned on the subject of narcissistic behaviors, I developed good levels of confidence and conviction. I started exposing him on every weird and toxic expression he would make. He would become so mortified that he would run away and hide like a worm in a crevice.
@@naji465 true, especially when you call that thing out, they call you drama filled and run, talking about they need their space. Me: ain't nobody in your space. Lol
You must become bent on their destruction to outdo them and make them fear you and stay put. You can threaten to cause tremendous issues to their cronies. Thats something that they will freeze them.
I love that you included the side note about autism, looking AT you is probably out of obligation to be polite, so they may be focused on appropriate eye contact, body language, how to respond, but when looking away it can free up space to fully listen and process what you're saying.
They hate everything that you like, and like everything that you hate.
Sounds like the woke left
True words!
True story
That is so true!!!
Yep. They even hate the shows you watch. 😂
“They’re listening only to prey on you later.” Wow. Great insight.
Exactly. They aren't listening to your thoughts, they're logging them so they can use them against you later.
@@rhiannonb.61 You are so right. I lived in a commune some years back and they were all evil narcissists. When we had our monthly meetings everyone was supposed to say something about what was going on in their life but I refused to share any information about myself but just said why? So you can use it against me at some later date?
this is true!
I’ve noticed this, careful what I say it’ll be used against me or even copied. Example I’m not perfect I said then later he did something mean on purpose and said I’m not perfect
I have learned to hide all my family history and most of my friends. Never say what foods I like or hate. So much hidden. I always pause before I speak or answer any question.
What a life!!!!!!!
“ Because they hit you without hitting you , death by thousand cuts.”
That Hit home 😮💔
OMG! One time I said to my ex..."Why don't you just put me through the wall I'd heal quicker" to which he responded....."Do you think I'm stupid enough to leave marks?"
@@sheilagibson510I said sometimes I think you hate me and would end me and he said, “ I’d never risk going to jail “
He rolls his eyes over things that truly matter to me.
@@sheilagibson510😮 there it is
And how can you live with that. I am now 51 and been in recovery so long - since age 42 I was able to finally separate emotionally from my egg donor. But when I got sober in 1999, she no longer could use me for her supply, so she began to suck the blood from my firstborn. he is now 30 - I ache for him and for me
mine hit too but the emotional abuse was way worse.
The smirk when they can’t hide their enjoyment of your misfortune. Or if they think they have you at a disadvantage.
I noticed that. They take delight in your suffering.
How do you defend false allegations
Very demonic. Narcissist are demon possessed. Their hatred isn't natural for any human.
@@FRED-OCSOthis is what I’m dealing with too (false allegations) while also (of course) being accused of making false allegations about him that are definitely true (that I am not planning to use to get him in trouble anyway, but still true. Thing is, his aren’t. They’re blatant lies.🙄) Good luck to you! 🍀
@@acaciajessamine To you as well.
In my case, she's made two already that were proven false. But apparently there's no legal penalty for them making false allegations. No risk for them so they continue. Until that changes the cycle continues.
Stay strong.
To the last one I would add the "smirk" they have when you are torn apart and looking for them to care. They want to let you know they don't care and enjoy watching your pain.
Yup! Definitely that
I’m a witness! ✋
Yes. And when it’s coming from your own mother, it’s truly chilling and devastating.
All gratitude to God for getting me through. ❤
I have noticed the smirk only when they are getting enjoyment out of their treatment. My mom can't hide that smart, although she tries. I think she believes no one sees that smirk.But we do, and we know exactly what is in that devious mind.
they are truly devils. it’s sick.
Empathy is a weakness to narcissists; if you express empathy they think you are naive.
Then you develop hella trust issues and get extreme panic EVERYTIME you show any signs of vulnerability bc the narcs used it to sabotage you. So fun 🥲
Or you really scare them because it means you know.....
@@rv3165 Ironically, my narc thinks he's an empath. It drives me nuts because of how malicious he can be.
True
Oh they know in farrrr from blind or dumb
True! They hate your happiness and enjoy your suffering. Tell them about your success or praise someone else and see what happens.
My mother used to praise my sibs to make me feel bad about myself, but if I praise them she gets all negative about them. Always manipulating. It would be sad if so much harm hadn’t been so joyfully undertaken.
Gosh. I remember my ex, who always walked slowly and lethargic. Then i became very sick and she had a bounce to her step. Ill never forget.
I learnt after many years (slow learner) not to tell him of my achiements or joyful experiences as he'd somehow ruin my happy mood.What he did enjoy hearing about were my failures or disasters.
@@ele2051 so true
Exactly !! My ex & my youngest daughter.
I thank God I'm away from all the hatred
Amen me too
Amen #2!
For me, I was able to leave physically, but I became what I hated - all children become their parents - I became my egg donor - I was not able to forgive her until age 42 - it finally gave me freedom
One time I suddenly found out an old friend had died. I came home and sat down in shock and cried. My husband came through and asked what was wrong. I told him. He said, "Oh well." and walked off into the kitchen whistling cheerily! It wasn't even a habit of his to whistle so it was totally deliberate to sadden me further, which it did. What he didn't realise was that it was another nail in the coffin and would one day help me rather than hurt me.
That is psychotic behaviour. I hope you are free from that relationship.
@@RS54321 Yes ...one day I stopped hoping and it was liberating! He did one of his explosions where I had once again needed to call the police. They said to me that time "you keep letting him come back so we will really have to stop treating your calls as a priority." That really helped me evaluate my situation. I couldn't keep doing it. He wasn't going to stop. It was going to be for the rest of my life if I let it, and be even more terrifying without the police helping me.
The police had told him that without my agreement he couldn't come back. So I didn't agree ever again. My optimism had been hurting me and I put it in a better place. I used it for myself instead. He still phones sometimes, or visits without coming in the house. I am friendly but I told him he can't hurt me anymore because I have no hope left, and I have given up caring about being loved and loving someone. He said, "thanks a lot!"
Haha ..he was offended because I told him he couldn't hurt me anymore!
He actually can hurt me by making me sell the house but because I still talk to him if he phones etc he sees me as useful so isn't forcing me to sell. I paid the mortgage all along but the law would let him have at least some money and that would make me lose my home. He threatened it one day and I said if he made me sell I would move so far away he would never see me again!
Since I am the only stable person he can talk to (his parents being the most nasty narcs ever!) he doesn't risk losing that listening ear.
He's with someone else...on and off. I advise him on how to treat her, knowing he won't manage it for long. But there is no pain in me even for this, not even denial. I am free and my nerves are so much calmer.❤️
I love your attitude. Congratulations on your growth, awareness and freedom.
Same thing my father did when my mom's sister ( my aunt ) suddenly passed away..and when we gave him the news , he literally started whistling and singing songs after a few minutes.
@@RS54321 It is not psychotic it is sadistic. They mean to hurt you. They get excited when they make you cry or angry.
The Black eyes, this is a thing with Narcissists!! My ex husband looked at me this way when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and again when he signed divorce paperwork. All I can say, it was truly pure evil starring at me. I knew for the first time in my life I had escaped my slow death not staying with the Narcissist husband.
I seen the black eyes in my ex a few times , the 2nd time he was choking me they turned black , I will never forget the devil I seen , I could feel the evil all around me …
I look back at old photos and see the sheer contempt and black eyes when I was behind the camera and our kids were not watching. There are 100's of them.
My narcissist father had black eyes and were caught several times in photos.
When he died and finally had his eyes closed it was a huge relief for me and my sister.
The evil was finally gone.
Sounds like Markle ... black eyes.
Congrats for getting yourself out of that misery.
INVALIDATION is the name of the game. The LACK OF CARE is obvious in every single word, action, and expression.
My mother was my narcissist growing up. She wasn't shy about how much she hated me. And then I married...another one! I won't go into details here about how many times I thought I was going to die with each of them, but I will say I divorced my husband and fled. Despite his threats to hunt me down and kill me I never heard from him again-I wasn't worth it to him, thankfully. But Mom. I stayed in my daughter relationship by first, never talking about any problem or decision I had to make with her. I always presented the conclusion so that I wouldn't get mixed up in doing what she wanted me to do instead of following my own reasoning. Second, I curbed her martyrdom by turning a blind eye to her "sick" voice, her criticism of me, her lack of caring and attempts to reign me in. I just pretended I didn't notice. These things helped a lot. But both of these individuals had a profound effect on me all my life. At age 72, I still have to tell myself, "you are good enough".
My mom is a Narc too and married and stayed with one for 19 years. I almost committed suicide and made up my mind left and never looked back. I’m 50 now suffering many medical conditions and lots of healing and therapy. Thank for sharing your story.
So sorry for what you endured. I did too.
@@MarnexyzYes I had the same, a narcissistic mother, and feel the same way as you. I was unaware of narcissism so kept trying, trying. What a waste of life. I am 68yo. I was 50 before I became aware of this disorder. To anyone involved with one, get away as soon as you can. There is no other way.
Oh yeah, the "sick voice". I know it well.
The dark black eyes. My mom was a narcissist and had a personality disorder. She died in my birthday last November 2023. Best present I ever received. My freedom. I got out of prison. I’m 75 and suffered for 60 years thinking it was all me until about 2 years ago. I’m still in recovery. I was never enough.
One thing I notice, is they often dont seem happy to see you, or either seem unhappy/grumpy or emotionless when they see you, even if youre supposedly a friend. Like they often wont smile/greet you etc. They also more to remind you of their superior position. Not true of all narcs but true of the ones i know.
I’ve noticed this, too. They also will greet you in a way that sounds happy, but with no smile.
Yep! I came home from a trip one time, and my landlady never said 'welcome back' or 'how was your trip?' Just this dead expression coupled with her talking only about herself while she continued to mop her floor. She dominates every single conversation and doesn't really listen to others.
She only asks me questions to gather info or to sound like a loving person, not to have any deeper connection with me (which is funny b/c when I moved in, she told me I was like family and that they're so happy to have me here--this is not at all how they've acted or how I feel.)
She seemed mad that my friend had come to pick me up early one morning for surgery and came to their front door rather than my back door, making a passive-aggressive comment about it. When I said my friend was taking me to get surgery, she defensively replied, 'I didn't know you were getting surgery,' making it about her. I replied 'Yes, I told you about it last month.' She even said she'd write it down then so she could pray for me. She completely forgot (probably b/c it wasn't important to her) and then replied 'I didn't know' again.
I've learned to share as little as possible and get my emotional needs met by my family, friends, and God.
@@pavementpounder7502 if I don't say good morning, no good morning, if I don't hug, we'll go months without a hug, no lip action (kiss), hardly any compliments, if he compliments, and I say thank you (politeness), he respond "why you say, the world doesn't revolve around you." In 14 years, NEVER, EVER smiled when he see me. During dating, he flowered me with gifts, trips, affection, sweet text, phone calls, etc. But as it got closer to the wedding, the real demon appeared.
Lesson: I should have RAN LIKE I WAS ON 🔥.
@mentalhealthmattersthemost
got so anxious before our wedding I canceled it. Now I realize why but I’m still here stupidly. feeling like I have to greet him joyfully or he’ll pout all day. Even when it’s me coming home, I have to say hello first wtf
@RS54321 that sounds about eight. Sorry you had to deal with that. I had a boss who was similar. Never seemed the least bit friendly, bad tempered, critical, unfair, always liked to emphasised her authority.
I was 18 years old, on my knees, sobbing, begging my mother to have some compassion and listen to what I had to say. I was in love, in college, and wanted to move in with my grandmother. I had never in the history of ever begged before, but I was desperately trying to find hope in our relationship; a relationship that was quickly dissolving as I reached adulthood and sought independence. That was the moment I realized she didn't love me... She looked at me with nothing behind her eyes, laughed like a villain, and said "crocodile tears." She seemed to enjoy seeing my shocked reaction. Her head tipped up in a prideful snear. There was pleasure on her face as I felt the worst pain of my life. Then she walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her. That was the day I decided to walk away and let go of the false idea I held that my mother was my friend. Something was terribly wrong with her and I refused to subject myself to her abuse. It's been 20 years since we last spoke, and it's not long enough.
It seems as though she relished your suffering. So sorry.
Omg! The fake laugh! I've always noticed it and it freaking drives me insane.
😂😂 I hear ya!
Kamala
Oh yeah that evil fake laugh
The laugh that ends abruptly always gives me the creeps.
I got it when he got his lover pregnant,I said, oh so you made the same mistake twice,well done! The pregnancy was meant to hurt me but I know he loves nobody but himself, I knew my baby was a mistake and now this baby with a really horrible woman that can help with dv and stalking,was just what this narc deserved. The sarcastic laugh was the result of my own psychopathic response. What was he expecting? Tears.. fxk him
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporees I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once.
Breathe. You're strong. You got this Take it day by
day.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporees
I had a boyfriend who said, regarding my appearance : "I think you do the best you can with what you've got to work with." Our relationship ended soon after....thank goodness!
Oh wow !!! How rude I’m so sorry and happy you ended that
Although he meant that to be cruel, that statement is true for everyone! We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got! The intention behind what he was saying indicates he sees people from a purely superficial, functional perspective, like they’re either useful to him or not.
My narcissistic husband hurt me so bad emotionally one day, that i had meltdown in front of him, and he just looked at me totally emotionless, like he had no idea why i was hurt. I didn't get a hug, an apology, and he never acknowledged what he had done. He just had a blank look on his face and was totally emotionally unavailable. 😢 You never know what is going on inside a narcissist's mind. They cant be trusted. Are they plotting against you? It took me 2 months with no contact to figure out he was a predator and at some point after we had been married a few months, i became the enemy and a target. Im done with the passive aggressive, manipulative behavior.
❤ wow almost verbatim… this same thing happened to me . “ I hope you got away from him.
Yes...after sacrificing Everything to help through the hard times..suddenly you become the chief enemy!! Totally HATED
I was on the bathroom floor having a miscarriage and got “that look” before he walked out the house and left me there, alone with a two year old.
Thankfully, I am no longer with him but getting out was hard, he’d isolated me and took my bank card. I was only allowed out to work. He even took note of my car miles to make sure I’d not been anywhere but work. I could go on but I won’t.
I’ll never forget that look though.
@@ZenIbizaGTD I’m so sorry you went through that horrible experience. So glad you got away!
They are emotionless,never give you emotional support.
Danish, you're the best! I'm so sorry that your childhood was so painful. The more and the sooner we learn about personality disorders, the happier and saner we'll be. There are a lot of fish in the sea. Figure people out before you trust them. Don't rush into love and sex. Your happiness and well-being are at stake.
THIS!!! 👍👋
My narc ex used to have a blank facial expression whenever I told her anything. No reaction. No emotion. No verbal response to me. Then, when we would be around other people, she was super expressive with her face and voice for every word someone else said.
My ex did that too
I tried to do that to keep my mother from getting enraged at me for my “attitude”.
I thought my narc was Autistic
What were you telling her?
@@c.g.bspendersashtray3037 I would ask about her day. i would share a funny story that happened a my job. I would ask general questions about topics she was interested in. One word responses or non responses every time. I later learned this shift in behavior began around the time she started cheating. I guess she didn't want to use up any of her emotional energy on me.
I seen the devil in my moms eyes. Cold and calculated. She had no pupils. Scared the hell out of me. I told her, "You're pure evil. She just kind of grinned. I got the heck away from her.
Scary...
That feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach, I’d feel that when I was not anywhere near to home. 😢
Girl, same! It’s weird!!! I literally got away and never came back.
My husband's sister was the one with this behavior, and I have to say that the ugliest look she had had was a look of "sin"/ like a wicked smile, that she would use when she assumed an association with sex. This was so weird that I will probably never forget it. I almost thought I saw satan there.
My husband's sister was like that.
Uff... Narcissistic abuse is one of the most destructive and dangerous forms of abuse in humankind.
May God protect us from these evils and give us the strength to heal.
am dealing with this pray for me 😊
Jezebel spirit is very similar to the narcissistic personality.
YES, plus if there is slapping violent , trying to choke you like if they WANT TO SEE YOU IN PAIN, the narcissist enjoys watching you hurt
Amen!
From my own experience completely agree. It's a form of mental cruelty and physical. An absolute nightmare for these that sadly experience it. Bless you all
He would look through me. And there were times I swear his eyes went black. One night he looked me in the eyes when I was emotional, and stared at me with COMPLETE lack of expression for FIVE full minutes without saying a word. I didn't know then... but I know now and am healing out of the relationship.
😳😳😳
I personally think there is a spiritual (demonic) component to narcissism. The mannerisms and actions are the same almost across the board-once you know they're a narc, their playbook is obvious.
It's a demon,I grew up with it daily
@@brandywilleford9157 may your healing be steady
Sounds like his pupils dilated.
The pitch black eyes describe my ex perfectly. He is a covert narc. When he decided to be done with me, I remember most of these body language things happening. It was bone chilling.
My ex girlfriend had that dead eye/ black eye look one time. Ill never forget it. It was TERRIFYING
I had the same thing in my marriage.
@@puremaledark8305 Demons?
Dang you outlined everything so accurately! I was so angry when my ex mocked me when I shared my emotions. He would especially make the last 2 expressions. But he would also roll his eyes a lot and sigh out of nowhere often. It’s like he wanted me to feel bad for him 24/7 and put my own needs aside. He neglected me, and nothing I did was enough. Each time he did this, I called him out on it, and he would say I’m imagining things. I was frustrated and upset, but as the abuse escalated, I knew things were out of my control. I left him, and he started begging and pleading for me to stay. When I said we were done, he stared at me with those predator eyes and I was very scared. Covert narcs are such dangerous people. STAY AWAY.
10:48 am Everything you said is so true Thank you for Sharing!
He really did - I am amazed!
0:09
Hi
I just clicked on this video because of the title. Look for the facial expression they have when they think no one is looking. Especially when they were putting on an act and realized they are no longer the center of attention.
Yes! I was going through a box of old pics and the ones that were taken nonchalantly (like not posing for) you can see them in the background with certain facial expressions.
He has sighed deeply, but he also likes to make sure he has his phone in hand, and "accidentally" allows a video to start playing loudly, or he tries to busy himself with things that aren't important.
Yep me too
My father does this all the time when I’m reading. Or worse - he’ll start talking to me and when I try to get back to reading he’ll sigh loudly and shake his head, like I’m the biggest disappointment in the world.
So passive-aggressive.
Sounds like mine!
Yes!
So glad you mentioned the loud fake laugh followed by an instant straight face. So creepy!
That's what woke me up ! Photographs also can capture it. Like sneering , snarling ,loathing hateful look on their faces in a brief moment if you catch it. God Bless !🙏
That just happened with me and it was a wakeup call.
I know all the faces you descreibe...the worst face for me is the narcs self-satisfied but evil and cunning smirk
Yes
LIKE THE GRINCH SMILE
Sociopaths have that smirk. A lot. My brother is a Narcissistic Malignant Sociopath. Every picture I have of him since childhood, he is smirking. Every.. single… one. He was cruel, and put me and my other sibling in danger many times. Stole from us, lied about us, you name it. Now he has stage 4 liver cancer and I’m supposed to give a shit.
@@wheresmycoffee8998 ... its a tough one for you to be in with a brother like that being a sociopath all his life and now in his death bed...I will personally be very careful and stay alert that such a personality cannot harm me anymore. I know from my own life that these kind of people will never change, even they are close to going over. Be good to yourself my friend and dont let toxic, cheating and evil people affect your life or come close to your life. Your brothers pathetic smoke show and dark energy will soon be over
@@wheresmycoffee8998 Be bigger than him....and care.
The dead stare. You are talking about the exact things I've been observing and pondering. I agree with what you are saying. I've been with my partner 25 long, suffering years and it's become unbearable. No soul, no empathy. He also stares at me when I pour my heart out and I get creeped out every single time! He also does the pity party and he says he's a victim of me and my lack of appreciation of him. He's so tiresome and dull. I want to add that I am truly sorry you had a mom like that. My mom was emotionally absent, but she wasn't cruel she was just immature and young. Your mom indirectly helped to shape you into a wonderfully insightful Doctor that helps others! There are so many of us out here! Thank you for your work. I appreciate it so much.
They are the most insecure people you'll ever meet! Try to tear you down for being happy or excited about something, or for what you're wearing, to try and get you to be insecure like they are. It's constant, daily and soooo draining
I felt the stare when I ate or was watching something
I was so uncomfortable
My demon father never has any authentic facial expression except anger. He's creepy as hell when he smiles. He makes it a point to smile from ear to ear. And he changes his resting narc face to a full smile in 0 seconds. Used to creep me out and just add to all the other creepiness.
My mother send me pics today although I've asked her not to send me the demons pics. His face is just pure evil.
My mother send me pics because my maternal uncle and his wife are visiting them.
I remembered one childhood memory about when the same uncle and aunt were visiting. My uncle, aunt and cousins were sleeping in one room and my brother and me had to sleep in the parents room. The demon was lying on his bed and I was walking past. My little brother was lying beside him and said something to me.
My demon father JUMPED out of his bed and slapped me so hard that my nose started bleeding.
Before he slapped me, he repeated some words that my aunt had said earlier during the day. The demon was angry that my maternal uncle and his wife were having a nice time and vent it out on me.
And just imagine. The demon was lying on his bed, thinking and sulking. Then he jumped out of bed and started violently hitting me and made my nose bleed. I still remember how my nose burned, my mother rushed to the room. I rushed to the bathroom.
And I still remember how I took my pillow and blanket amd went QUITELY to sleep somewhere else. That was because I did not want my uncle and his family to know what was going on. I felt ashamed.
Just imagine all the things going on here:
1. The demon becoming violent and make me bleed
2. My brother completely traumatized because he thought its probably his fault that he talked to me and made the demon jump out of his bed
3. My mother rushing to the room and as always just witnessing the demons demonic behaviour and NOT doing anything
4. Me rushing to safety and at the same time not wanting anyone to know what had happened out of shame
5. The demon showing his demonicness. The demon was thinking about something my aunt had said and repeated those words to me before hitting me so hard that my nose started bleeding. Just imagine this demonic behaviour. The demon just jumped out of bed, out of his thoughts and vented out his demonic frustration on me.
Hell is real. These people will definitely go to hell and BURN there.
And BTW, I have been sending my comments to my mother on whatsapp. There are usually very detailled memories. She just writes back "Lies. All lies".
People can act all good and nice, they will definitely go to hell for harming little, innocent and defenseless children.
I feel pity for you I have been going through the same thing traumatise thru my life first with by parents and siblings and then my narc husband and my children my eldest boy and my grandson and my daughter my father was the same traumatising me with physically abuse my mother's jealousy and power control they have no shame or goodness in them they a trusted evil minds
May you find peace through seeking God.
Be so in your peace that you don’t want hell for those that harmed you. Be still in that peace that when that day comes you’ll not even want to witness God’s wrath upon those people…that day will come.
I know because I too grew up being abused by my entire family to the point I believed the names they called me. I was beat into submission. I lost my voice until they treated my children the same way. My children gave me the strength to stand up and cut ties with my family. God gave me peace.
May you seek God and allow God to dwell within you.
@@carmengoodnews5938 Wish you peace and recovery 🙏🏻❤️
@@FullCircleMomentsNetwork Thank you for reminding me. True peace is when your memory loses its emotions. Its just there as an information.
I know because I have been there in the space of true peace. Wish you peace as well 🙏🏻❤️
I am sorry that you experienced this. 😢 you actually get it, those people are demon possed. I always say that those are demon possed people.
I think that is why my Narc mom never wanted pictures taken of herself. Sometimes it catches her mid weird expression.
Mine too, lol!!!!😂
A hidden trait of narcissists: never wanting to be photographed despite wanting adoration.
Interesting. My mom takes awkward pictures too and is rarely in them.
Ooh, I feel like we need a support group chat, haha.
You described my dad. He also likes to record awkward situations.
Not mine! She wanted to be the center of attention all the time. The fake personality with others, the fake smile, the fake happy mood. As soon as others were gone or not looking, it all faded away even for just a sec or two and she was a complete witch! Wild! Still recovering from all that.
The narc that was here used to do these facial expressions, but it didn't matter to me. He can bring his facial expressions with him in his grave. I know what he is up to. It doesn't scare me. My sanity and health are important to me. Go to hell, I will say.
They are exhausting to deal with. One reason is that you keep fighting the urge to slap them for being so rude.
Was married for 35 years to a pychopathic Narcassist. When I began working with adults with disabilities- mostly behavioral, I couldn't understand why some of them really set me off feeling very upset, creepied out and so on. One day one of them lay on the floor cackling loud and crazy. I suddenly was struck with the realization, my (now exhusband) would do this at times. There was an extrememly fine line between him and them. They had been court ordered into care. He would watch tv and movies studying the facial , body, vocal, etc attempting to put on their skin. In 35 years he NEVER cried.
Our kids realized how off he was especially when he'd try and fain his love for them and rant, compete, demean over and over.
This man sat in the courtroom under oath and lied again and again. When I confronted him from the witness stand he was stone cold and had his attorney file frivilous motions after the divorce determined to detroy me. I have no words for those wanting to know how to make a relationship better with a narcisist except - GET OUT
@@deborahgeller2764 they are demon possed, it's the same types of demons. There's no medication or therapy to fix them those evil monsters need to be casted out like the scriptures says. Amazing huh
I’m so sorry you had to live through that. Rear view mirror time , I hope for you.
Too bad you had kids with him instead of a decent man.
How did you know my life? I'm so very glad you got away! My kids and I also got away, thank God.
True, I've experienced all those from them! Those are their typical facial expressions they usually show with their obnoxious behaviour. Narcissists use them to humiliate, invalidate and intimidate their victims to control and secure their supply.
I called them shark eyes. But yea, i saw them and it scared the heck out of me. Its like i watched their soul leave their body
Shark eyes...that's what I call them too...cold....no love...predatory
@@winjoe100 Me three! Definitely shark eyes!
To me, they look like snakes eyes. Bone chilling.
I also call them shark eyes. "they're having fish tonight!" 🦈 Sharks are pretty narcy 😅
Absolutely spot on, Danish! Narcissists expose themselves by their own actions. Thank you 🙏🏻💜
I'm very familiar with all 7 facial expressions, and all observed in my father, who is now in his 90s. His behaviour has become out of control and even inappropriate and bizarre in his efforts to seek attention and glorification for his exaggerated and constantly reiterated life experiences and achievements. I feel physically sick in his company.
Im so sorry for where you are right now😳 I shared my similar situation with someone and it was helpful for me to be told 'soon you will be free'. That felt like truth
"Marriage counseling" with a narcissist is only an opportunity for the narcissist to find out more ways to hurt you.
Narcissists seem to feel grandiose, or "the victim", lust but not love , jealous, greedy, insecure, apathetic, superior etc , but they don't feel remorse, regret, empathise, have the capacity for insight or reflection into their actions. Another of my sisters likes to look down her nose like she's SO superior
You are so very accurate with that description. I was domestic partner to a multimillionaire narcissist for 16 very difficult years. You seem to know a genuine narcissist like I do, like the back of your hand. I thank the Lord for all the strengths and obedience to Him, that I was indestructible by that man, time and time again, and today, left without even a scar upon my face. Thank you, Lord. For everything.
Yes, no genuine remorse or regret. If any apology is ever offered, its purpose is to manipulate.
The fakest people ever
Fake doesn't begin to tell the story. If you are in one of these relationships, do yourself a favor, leave and don't ever go back. If you need your belongings, take someone with you, even better have a police officer escort you. Speak only to the officer. Be strong. Do not back down. TRY NOT TO BECOME EMOTIONAL. Do not cry. They will view you as weak. It's a tough position to be in but you can do it. Speak to the Narc only through another individual ... Police is best. Be STRONG AND ASSERTIVE.
You can do it! Then go out and live your best life. NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN. NOT EVEN ONCE.
)Wow! #2 DEAD STARE. I called it the lizard face, lol. Fits perfectly...I even have pictures of that expression!!!
)And no matter WHAT I enjoyed, he mocked me and tried to make me quit whatever it was. Towards "the end", I finally just did whatever it was and ignored his ridicule. 19 years later
My siblings and I called it “the look”. We still do.
This was my narc ex's go to face and also emoji: 🙄 This face is more expressive than 1000 words. It's the face of never satisfied and constant complainer.
Funny how they can't conquer empathy but can conquer everything else...
When I was younger I was attacked by what I’ve come to believe was a sociopath and one of the facial expressions I noticed about her was the need for constant eye contact. If I wasn’t looking at her every second she would put her face in my face. I use that as a red flag to this day.
😳😳😳
Yikes!!
When I was young I couldn’t understand it either. My mother would fix her eyes on me, even when she was eating. It made me uncomfortable but I couldn’t articulate why. She really couldn’t stand me even though I was the easier child and didn’t fight with her like my older sister did. I left home at 18 with a suitcase full of clothes and found that there was so much more to life than I was allowed to know at home. I found good people who had happy and healthy families. I thank God I got out young and had a career that helped me heal.
I've seen the cold, dead eyes in my narcissistic sister. Many times. I ignore it. I've had her hatred towards me all my life. She's my sister - not a partner, spouse, etc - so I didn't feel the emotions like that, of course. But I feel sick to my stomach. I don't like her and feel that very deeply.
I have the same problem with my brother. I can't count how many birthdays of mine were ruined by him.
Pay more attention to your own needs and wants.
I have a brother like that…😢
My sister is a covert narc, finally learned the option of no contact at 59. I don’t miss her at all.
@@CynthiaSteele-o2gMe too
@@MarnexyzDon’t do it. He can find other options. You will be miserable and he doesn’t deserve your care.
I was trying to help my narcissistic husband when we got a flat tire on his truck in the mountains. The truck kept falling off the jack and I was scared he would get his hands trapped. He told me to watch the jack if it moved to tell him while he tried to put on the spare tire. Once again, the jack fell off, but this time hit the top of my foot very hard. While I was crying in pain, he says that he doesn't have any sympathy for me, because I should have not been so close to the jack. I told him I was scared for him and that's why I was so close. My foot was bruised and painful. He never showed me any sympathy until my sister in law was empathetic to me and told me to elevate it and ice it. I guess he didn't want to appear uncaring to his sister. I could write a book about his narcissistic ways. I'm so happy I divorced that nightmare.
So glad you got out! My situation doesnt sound as bad, but I’m working on it. Praying not another year goes by. 🙏
As a mechanic, i have to say (for anyone else that may read) that jacks should never be used to support a vehicle long term for that very reason. Jack stands make things safer. Of course, sometimes you only have a jack.. i can only assume he didn’t even properly lift the vehicle for it to constantly fall off. When a car is lifted, always give it the ‘shake/wiggle test’ before getting under/working around it!
I distance myself as much as I can from people who deliberately hurt me and I don’t let them turn me into a monster like them. It feels wonderful to be free of them, instead of wrangling with them. If i have to keep dealing with a malicious person, as I get older, I strive not to take it personally. Some people will always have bad characters.
Wise words
The last one. I saw in my husbands eyes as pure hatred. At that juncture he almost seemed possessed by an evil energy. I certainly kept vigilance. Within 24 hrs he became violent. I was lucky Truly was protected by higher beings and was able to get away from him forever
So happy for you!!❤
❤
The weird facial expression I noticed in several narcs is when they say something demeaning or try to callout a flaw and there eyes focus in, there lips are like quivering along with their body as if they are excitedly hoping, wishing and waiting for a negative reaction. It’s hilarious. I just stare back stoically.
Stoicism and its practice saved me! God first of course ❤
That and the weird smile while saying hurtful things is like a giant billboard saying “broken”
I'm living with a narcissistic now. He is way more obvious than just the facial expressions. I can't leave yet.
I was living with my best friend and her husb for the past 5 yrs. I was married to an NPD for 16 yrs. Got free. Then fell for another one ten yrs later. Got dumped after 7 yrs when he decided to leave me for a man. Got homeless as I was disabled and not working. Got my disability got my life back. Rescued a dog from the SPCA. Had a good life! Then my twin flame died suddenly leaving a disabled adult son. He begged me to come live with him. Aft a year, dummy me went. Turns out it was a trap and he was NPD!! I had to beg a ride from Tn up here to Michigan to live at my best friends house. SSI chopped my benefit to where I can't live on my own! Now, five yrs in, my dearest friend died suddenly in my arms the morning of March 3. Now I am stuck living with the man she spoiled and did not know til 2 weeks before death that he is a Damon NPD! He has hurt me emotionally to unspeakable pain. Now my copd is killing me. I am recovering from hospitalization with pneumonia. This asshole has not spoken to me since I got home and turned the AC back on! He tries to control everything including my breathing. I am in the midst of arranging Dr visits and oxygen deliveries,. But I will get it together. Hoping to upgrade my disability and move out. But right now I just struggle to take my next breath. No family or friends or transportation. Screwed up right? I am 63 yrs old and ashamed I let my good heart stick me in this situation. I truly should have known better. Good luck to you hon, God bless!
As a person who looks away while truly cares about what you are saying and wants to validate your feelings, I appreciate that you mention that neurodivergent people might show interest differently. On the other hand, I do not think we roll our eyes at anything. If something was outrageously unfair or wrong, we will probably verbally point it out or leave the room because we cannot communicate and that is a lost battle. So that might help.
I have seen every single one of these facial expressions. I now have boundaries and only visit my mother once a week. Her poor sister is now her caregiver. That wasn't my choice. I know her sister did not realize what she was because they hadn't been around each other for the last sixty years. I told my aunt what she would be dealing with and how my mother was our whole life. My mother had her convinced that I was a troublemaker. My aunt believed I was the source of moms problems. My brothers went against my judgment and allowed her to move in with my aunt. I understood why. We are all exhausted from dealing with her our entire lives. Now my aunt calls me daily. She is now the target for my moms venom. Everyone else in her life has dropped off due to her behavior. My aunt now understands what we were dealing with. I feel so bad that she now is the target. When I visit 1 time a week, mom finally realizes she can't get to me. She still tries. I grey rock and divert. I watch all those facial expressions going toward my aunt. But I will never allow her to mentally bring me down ever again
❤
The narcissists in my life talk over me. They don't wait until I am done to roll their eyes.
Yes.. Like your not even talking. I never get to finish a sentence..
I got the death stare after he hit me and knocked me off my feet. Thank you for explaining those meanings.
Gurl, drop the mrs
I had been on an international trip for 2 weeks. When I got home he got up to let me in the house and then went back to bed. No hugs nothing. He also liked to leave the room when I was talking.
jealousy
Yes! My husband constantly leaves the room while I am talking - he is obviously not interested in what I am saying, it drives me crazy!
@@ursulamargrit wow they all do the same things. Never before in my life did someone do that to me, the ultimate in disdain. I spent 8 years trying to get through to my guy before I left. And in the7 years I've been gone, he's still the same. I hope you find peace.
Yes they also get mad and hang up on you mid sentence, usually Nad. Ultimate power trip.
Oh my God ...I am a widow now and you have just explained my husband of 20 yrs.
He died of cancer in 2014, before he died he changed all legal aspects of our marriage and put it in the hands of his nephew..
I have been seriously effected by a narcissist who took full advantage of me right to the very end ...I am a fool for taking care of him the way I did !!
It makes me feel nauseous.. when I think of all he did ...for no reason ??
I'm 70 yrs old and my life should be so much better ...but instead his small family has reaped the benefits of the man I knew for 24 years ??
Obviously there is a long story that goes with 24 yrs. and how it all happened ?
But in the end I feel like our 20 years of marriage meant nothing to him...I meant nothing to him...
The NARCISSIST BETRAYED me beyond measure !!!!
I actually have violent nightmares now and I never did before his death...
Not being able to have a conversation with him... to ask why he would do the awful things he did behind my back.. all while I was taking care of him ...all while knowing he was going to die soon ???
It eats me alive inside ...I'm not hurt anymore... I'M JUST ANGRY !!!!
My anger comes out when I sleep ....
My heart goes out to anyone who's lives have been forever effected ( Infected ) by a NARCISSISTIC MONSTER !!!
If you are in this type of relationship,this type of - partnership - " GET OUT " if you can ? "GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN" !!
💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜
Many Blessings, Stand Strong, Don't Believe Most Of What They Say, You're Good Enough, Remember Who You Were Before You Met Them, You Matter Too !!! 🤗💜💕
Dear Dorothy, I am so sorry for all you have endured and the anger you feel now. I want you to know that even though your husband betrayed you, life will still support you. You put goodness into the world. It will come back to you, likely not from where you would expect, but just stay open to the possibilities of goodness coming your way. Forgive yourself for staying. You lived according to your standard, not his. It might have been better to leave but you stayed and honored the vows you made. That is honorable in its own right. I’m not saying that you should stay in an abusive relationship, only that you upheld the promises you made and can take comfort that you did not increase his suffering although you could have. In other words, you did not sink to his level. You are a woman of merit. 💖
Whatever or whoever has hurt us will continue to hurt us until we let it go! God will bring justice! We let go and then we are free!!
Please say that you were legally married and that you talked to a lawyer about what happened? So sad.
I am so sorry what you have gone through! I can understand to some degree! One can look back and thank the Lord you didn’t go crazy! But God!!! I have found the Lord my Saviour to be my friend, my helper and in reality He has become my everything! He goes before in ways I cannot explain! I know He is the perfect judge so as His child I am learning to leave justice with Him!!
I'm so truly happy for you. My son is getting married tomorrow. I couldn't call him out on his lies with my response prior to the wedding because he scares me that much. Next week I need to face it with whatever courage I can muster.
That dead stare, yes. It's so intense and weird.
Yes it is,it's veryyyy creepy
You mean the blank stare!
Their eyes also get big and dilate to black when they rage. It horrifying and a sign to run for your life.
@@awomanperiod.9507 yes I clearly saw that with my own eyes and I damn sure ran and ran fastttttt.
I ended relationship with my sister because of her endless drama and her uncontrollable behavior! I suggested we go into counseling together to address issues but she declined. Been 2 yrs. of calmness and normalcy now without her issues. My sister recently suggested through her daughter, that we just forgive one another, not bring up situations from past and resume our relationship! Again, I told her if she was willing to go to counseling with me and work out conflicts, I would consider it! She refuses to seek counseling for herself…sad! I will NOT engage in or enable a “Narcissist! I remain drama free and pray for my sister daily. I do miss her but will NEVER subject myself again to anyone trying to control my environment. Watch out people, set boundaries and never allow anyone to rob you of your joy! You DO matter! ❤
I did the same with my sister. She shunned me for a whole year and then sent flowers and acted like nothing happened. I cried for the whole year and then came to know that she is one of these sick people. Earlier in our relationship she would demand that we go to therapy together. I went twice, with two different therapists; each time during the first meeting, it became uncomfortable for her and she stopped the session and cancelled any further visits. She couldn't manipulate the therapists, so she bailed. I am so much more at peace now that I told her definitively, "No relationship building; just civil protocol if we happen to meet." I pray for her and her family also.
My sister got upset at boundaries i put in place for my kid. Sister threw a fit and blocked me on social media, for a second time! I just had to laugh. After the first time, she spouted the typical ‘forgive and move on,’ and she doesnt want to talk about the past. I wasnt bothered by it, had an ‘ok, whatever’ attitude and we got back to talking..
This time i’m done with her. She used my mom to still try gifting things or saying hi to my kid. I constantly have to remind my mom that sis lost the privilege to even speak to my kid, since my sister doesnt think she has to respect said child. Of course my mom is abusive and a bit manipulative as well, having narcissistic traits. Lots of toxicity in my family, which lead me to choose shitty relationships. 😒 it’s definitely peaceful to avoid all the drama!
Number 7 sent chills down my spine. Pitch black soulless eyes staring at me and an evil laughter; signing divorce papers.. now I can’t sleep and going down the TH-cam rabbit hole in the name of self care!
Knowledge is power. The more you know and understand the better your odds are of not involving yourself with another one. Congrats on the divorce.
No, the laughter may not sound evil at all. It is just binary, on/off without natural transitions
Everyday felt like little darts hitting my heart
Yes. I am 56. I have had to go " no contact with my narcissistic mother and brother". Breaks my heart, but I know they will never change. I'm still messed up. I've done so much therapy and worked so hard on myself. But it seems the PTSD never goes away. I just understand it better now. I keep to myself. Don't socialize really. I like my own company. 😊
Maybe you are just an introvert, like me. There is nothing wrong in finding pleasure in solitude, if that is what really makes you happy.
Thank God you did that! I left physically in 1999 but it was not until 8 years ago that I was able to forgive and to leave emotionally. I am finally free.
I love you.....
It took me 70 years to figure out my sister was a narc. The hardest part for me was the grief in giving up the hope that we could ever have a normal, loving, sisterly relationship. In retrospect, I beat myself up for having been so naive for so long. I just kept thinking that if I was "a little nicer" to her, that she would change. My mother died never knowing exactly what the problem was with my sister, so, although it took me so long, at least I am at peace now, having given up the false hope of any type of reciprocal relationship with her, thanks to the internet and all the great psychologists who have exposed these vampires of humans.
@@elizabethblane201 hi Elizabeth 😁👋 my adult daughter's have been drawn into it all now. I'm gutted. My mother has been in their ears all these years. She now has them convinced that I'm the narcissist because I refuse to have contact. It hurts a lot. But I know the truth so I'm hanging on to that. And life goes on. Much love from Christchurch NewZealand 😁🌸💗
Have you made a video about your stuff going missing?
I use to buy nice clothes and then they would disappear
Indeed. I had a housemate who would "borrow" my clothes without permission and I told her, "I don't mind if you borrow something, just ask first." Nope. When I was away for work, I came back home and put on a dress that suddenly wouldn't zip up *after* I'd lost weight. I couldn't figure it out until I inspected the dress, turned it inside out, looked at the seams and found that she'd altered the dress to fit her! I couldn't believe it. I blew up at her and what did she do? Smirked and did the silent treatment.
Later, I went away for work for 3 months and I'd bought a pair of shoes which I HID under a pile of fabric before I left. They were new and still in the box. She offered to pick me up from the airport and when I got off the plane, she was *wearing* the shoes. She said, "oh look at these cool shoes I found." I told her, "yes, I hid them from you because I didn't even get a chance to wear them yet."
I was clueless also to what others could see. A friend told me, "why do you hang out with her? She's always copying you." It didn't even occur to me until she pointed it out.
Or they “accidentally” break things that mean something to you.
3:31 we victims roll our eyes in exasperation as the last spoken thing we thought might work again hit their brick wall, it's the way the eyes throw up hands, desperately. Narcs do it in hopes of silencing us early on.
I have a Narcissist boss and I have to take gravol regularly or I would vomit but only with that one Jerk.
YES!
He had a certain smirk I saw a few times. It was a weird smile thing. I realized after awhile it was him mocking me.
I hope you stop seeing him immediately!!!! I would!!
My brother can't stand looking at me.. He is pure evil..
My narc gave me a nasty look at the farmers market out of no where. It felt like rotten feces. That's was when I left the bedroom and in 14 days i will have my FREEDOM back
My egg donor would do this at court, at my son's concert, at my other sons events -always behind the scenes. For decades I used to react b/c I had anger.
Thank you for being so honest and open.
Another us the death stare when youve really pissed them off, like they despise your very soul. Also common to BPD.
Thank you for acknowledging that neurodivergent people may be avoiding looking at your eyes, too, and they aren’t narcissists. Thanks for that. It was refreshing. :)
I have experienced the cold stare a lot. As a child it really scared me. It seemed like she was planning something nefarious. Also, the head shaking; like she’s saying no, you have not healed. You never will heal. I’ve seen to that.
When they are around others they are so completely different
Wow I can't believe I found this channel, it's like a support group of people who have been through all the things my mind couldn't even begin to describe. Incredible content, I hope to learn how to deal with my narcissistic mother.
Never get involved with a man who didn't have his mother (through death or just not a healthy relationship). Those men who didnt have their mother will abuse & mistreat you. Dont say i didnt warn yall
That part! And if they didn't have there dad, a healthy dad. If they were hurt by an ex really bad... all that u healed trauma will definitely be taken out on you.
Yes. Run in the opposite direction as quickly as you can.
Not true for all
I think this is absolutely true! He has no respect for me, does not know how to value me as his wife or mother of our children, I’m second and third to everything and every other person in his life. His mother died when he was 22. His father never showed the mother respect either. The more and more I listen to these traits I can’t even believe I didn’t know this is what he is. It’s a very sobering moment. 😢
@@SvenjaIpsen absolutely, however we're talking about those that are & those that do.
How many children are being subjected to the pain and confusion pf this ? Thank you for turning your frustration into healing for yourself and others.
So true.......... You shoud get to know about MY toxic family. Father mother brother sister .......the list goes on. And on and on. Now living in another city to avoid the cocktail of toxicity.
I bet they have money...and you don't?
@@strawberrytart321 a better job a better home and free from all the bullshit drama
@@YoungSheley I hear you...I've wanted to hide from them for years...I'm too old to uproot, I'm stuck here...all I can do...is stop associating with her and there goes our son...a rock and a hard spot. She would like it if she never saw us again...this is the second son I've gone through this with...the other one got so broken over what she did, she even bragged that she was glad she ruined my son. evil abounds!
A strangely shivering/trembling upper lip especially while they are sucking supply from the victim and/or a fluttering eye lid and/or a twitching corner of their mouth. These expessions I have come across a hunded times when dealing with a narcissist. They get so excited while sucking energy out of their victims that they can hardly control their facial expressions. My mother used to make a very weird looking sucking motion with her mouth whenever she was humiliating or beating me as a kid.
I am so sorry💚
Clear indication of a vampire if some sort.
Thank you, I’m autistic and ADHD. Often mistaken for this. People truly need to do their homework on this subject.
Too many labels being thrown around.
Yes. but people can see your heart or intentions by your actions or how you treat others. I roll my eyes a lot to be funny and get people to laugh.
"Narcissist" is one of them. People who have trouble regulating their own emotions or who have BPD tend to label everyone who are close to them (mother, siblings, boyfriend, husband) as narcissistic, as people with BPD are extremely needy and have to be the center of the attention, they won't tolerate people who are closer to them to give attention to anything or anyone but them. Your boyfriend, husband, or mother aren't only there to praise you or telling you that what you do is fantastic and that they love you 200 times a day. NPD is a spectrum, and everyone is narcissistic to a certain degree, but very few have it to the point of being a disorder. BPD is far more common.
My adult Son has ADHD , and the ex Nerc believes he has ADHD there is a difference my son has triats of a Nerc but they genuinely at times don't know why they do things , my Son is getting better and he knows his actions is all about him,🙏🏾 but the ex Nerc knows full well know of their intention I want to justify their actions . Gas lighting ect
This is true, I do the eye roll thing when I have been told the same thing 30x and they could quit talking and I'll finish the next 10 minutes of their monologue. I too am AU and I just recently discovered the blank face helps me when ppl are trying to control me. I put it on and they start explaining themselves in a panic. Usually when they should have never been saying those things in the first place. Puts them on their heels. It has set me free in ways I never imagined. It points out how ridiculous they are being. Then I ask what do you mean? And it gets even better. I hate that I have resorted to dishonest exchanges. It now occurs to me that folks have been dealing with me or handling me to get what they want for years and I have rushed in to meet expectations and needs that were never my responsibility.
A narcissists laughter is like barred teeth in my experience
So true!
My narc husband hangs his head when I state my opinion about something if it is contrary to his opinion. He will sometimes add a fake laugh, and often talks under his breath so I will ask him what he said.
You nailed it! That fake laugh and the 'not paying attention' irk me the most. It's sad that so many people don't see the narc for who they are, but I guess you have to go thru narc abuse to finally see it, and then run!
I love your accent, btw!
the cold dead eyes with no sclera showing? YESSS !!! very scary- I prayed ( “ I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, our Lord and savior “ - silently)… and he went away! Any strong faith based prayer will work - depends on your background…
I grew up the same as you Danish. My mother too was a narcissist, but I didn't know this until I was much older and was seeing a psychologist. On the very first visit she went through my history, and naturally, that included my mother. Toward the end of the session, she said, "You know what, it sounds like your mother was a narcissist." I sat there in shock. Suddenly, my whole life made sense. What I think is even sadder, I was adopted, and anything I did or said that she didn't like, she'd say: Well, I tried to raise you properly, but I guess you have too many of your mother's genes." My psychologist gave me an article describing the narcissist mothers, what they do, what they say and why they say it, but best of all, it explains how it affects daughters. I think there was 35 points, and my mother ticked about 28 of them. I showed it to my husband, and all he could say was: "That's child abuse." I guess that sums up narcissistic parents.
Ad an adoptive mother, I know that there is nothing worse for your child than putting down her or his biological parents. How tragic! She should have been found out during the pre-adoption process and been rejected as an adoptive parent.
I would love to see that list!
Somewhere in Dorian Gray it says something about a cold cruel turn of the lip. Like the stars go out of their eyes and they enjoy seeing you hurt. That’s exactly what I’ve seen too and I’ll never forget the sight.
Your videos are scarily accurate my friend. You are so clued up on this topic! These last two videos I've watched are so spot on the mark they're uncanny. Mine does the pitiful victim smile and the snake eyes stare. The eyes only Jaws the shark would have before killing you. He is always the victim. Acrually starves himself and eats very little to create a campaign against me so he is seen as the weaker spouse.
My mother who died last September also had the dead souless eyes at times. You're very correct in what you tell us..all of these things are true.
Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
Brother and his wife are masters of all those facial expressions. I dealt with it by walking away in every way from them. Ignore and don't engage is the way to achieve peace with yourself. You will never achieve peace from a narcissistic person. Hard lesson learned and I continue to apply what I've learned with everyone I meet. Once I decide to walk away, I'm done and there's no second chances for those kinds of people because they can't be reasonable so I'm not going to waste my life. I will focus on positive things and people who value me.
I was married to a narcissist for 25 years, and didn't know what a narcissist was! But I experienced all of these expressions. I learned what conversations were allowed and not allowed, and walked on egg shells until I finally had to leave.
A pathological narcissist allows only conversations about them, all other topics are eyes-rolled or interrupted in the middle by walking away, or switching to smartphone or another activity that breaks the conversation.
If your partner was milder than that then he might be less pathological.
Mine would literally shut his eyes when I would speak, simultaneously talking over me hurling insults. Nothing is ever resolved, your emotions and needs are “Excuses” I wouldn’t even get the hoover love bombing, he would love bomb himself in front of me whilst devaluing me, because I was lucky to have him and need him, according to him. I have to admit I adopted the eye roll. The constant word salad whilst preaching his so called superior word become so tedious I couldn’t hide my contempt for it. Every area of your life will suffer if you let them in.. Just RUN! They bring the absolute worse out in you because you are constantly in fight or flight at the constant disregard and insults. Hardest relationship of my life. He didn’t break me though.
Our little old man narcissist make the most unbelievable faces as he paces up n down the street in front of neighbors houses with a metal pipe, really crazy eyes😊
My supervisor at work is like this. I have seen him bug his eyes out and grimace his mouth. Sometimes he makes deep frown faces. Ugly faces like the demon is coming out.
Each & every word is true!! What an observation, so flawless, perfect & evident! 👍🏻🙏🏻
I love them when they give me that cold dead stare. I stare right back without even blinking with a smile.
I did this to my boss. It's probably why she forced me to resign.
@@kirstenfalcone5856 hell yeah Kirsten you hit her with the reverse death stare and she got intimidated. 😂😂😂😂
@@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht I'm better off finding another job. She was a kill-joy in that office. Now I just need to recover from some mean parting words she had for me.
This is so true. Seen that blank stare many times, the smirk also. The expression where they think they are a God. The expression where they are busy plotting things in their mind. They are pure evil
As I became more learned on the subject of narcissistic behaviors, I developed good levels of confidence and conviction. I started exposing him on every weird and toxic expression he would make. He would become so mortified that he would run away and hide like a worm in a crevice.
Oh, that's fantastic - way to go! 😀
@@naji465 true, especially when you call that thing out, they call you drama filled and run, talking about they need their space.
Me: ain't nobody in your space. Lol
You must become bent on their destruction to outdo them and make them fear you and stay put. You can threaten to cause tremendous issues to their cronies. Thats something that they will freeze them.
You can't do this to your manager at work. Because it creates more trouble for you.
I love that you included the side note about autism, looking AT you is probably out of obligation to be polite, so they may be focused on appropriate eye contact, body language, how to respond, but when looking away it can free up space to fully listen and process what you're saying.