Things you can do to accelerate your healing journey
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT. - บันเทิง
Nobody on a TH-cam channel has ever made more sense and knew my story than Dr.Ramani.
🙏
Same.. Dr. Ramani saved my life.
Absolute truth!! 🙌🏻💯🥰🙏🏻
So true
Yes. Dr. Ramani describes narcissism well. What a narcissist does to destroy the spirit of their spouse, their child, what the damage does to all the family members.
It depends on the narcissist. The outright vicious ones are easier to emotionally cut off than the "good cop bad cop" type who can be very nice and supportive at times then suddenly twist it back on you.
That is an awful way to treat you .
Yes I completely concur with you God bless you💚💟💛 its not always possible to follow view videos whole time💚💟💛God bless you...One thing I do struggle with is complete no contact... I can do lesser contact but can't do complete no contact because if I do I face the consequences of being blackmailed by the narcissistic person...I'm then accused of grey rocking + gaslighting them for having boundaries,+ trying to help the narc see things from others perspectives leads the narc to accuse me of invalidating them😭I just can't win no matter what + if i went complete no contact they would inform people with power,that I'm cold,uncaring + hostile,which would ultimately have dire destructive impactfulness on my Family's+I's lives,so I'm lost as to what I should do😭💚
Absolutely 🎉 yes !
@@bestm333
That is the brutal part of the abuse. It really is a cruel way to treat people who just want to live and not play mind games. It is a miracle I held on as long as I did. I remember the first time someone actually saw through my "pillar of the community" parents and believed me, I cried. Someone actually saw what I was seeing!
@@crazy4color869 yes its completely horrendous isn't it I just can't comprehend how the eviler ones sleep + have no conscience in concerns to the upset they cause + the hurt...Smearing our nmes etc
I'm delighted someone could see through what you went through God bless you Well done tremendously much so for holding on You're tower of strength motivation inspiration to others Please remember this forevermore💚💟💛
Peaceful, joyful, calm, love, all feelings I miss when I’m around narcissistic people. They suck it right out of the entire room.
This was my favorite video of yours. Very helpful. And thankfully I feel I’m headed in the right direction.
Same! Thank you for this video. They literally drain the energy out of the room and out of you.
No contact. Self-reflection. Meditation/mindfulness. Journaling. Listening to inspirational music or reading inspirational books. Getting a massage. Hot baths and scented candles.
Love these ideas Thank you for simplifying immensely appreciated because its not always possible to follow view videos whole time💚💟💛God bless you...One thing I do struggle with is complete no contact... I can do lesser contact but can't do complete no contact because if I do I face the consequences of being blackmailed by the narcissistic person...I'm then accused of grey rocking + gaslighting them for having boundaries,+ trying to help the narc see things from others perspectives leads the narc to accuse me of invalidating them😭I just can't win no matter what + if i went complete no contact they would inform people with power,that I'm cold,uncaring + hostile,which would ultimately have dire destructive impactfulness on my Family's+I's lives,so I'm lost as to what I should do😭💚
@@bestm333 look for ways such that the narc cannot destroy you n your family. Can you move? Can you report blackmail? change jobs? etc
But more immediately, something i've learned is to stop caring about other's opinion of me.
Im getting ALOT of pressure from my nan to resume contact with my mum and i know my mum has gone all victim mode, full of tears, pretend confusion, im the bad guy etc to her. And my nan has bought it hook line n sinker :(
I enjoy talking to my nan for the most part, but i am half-prepared that she may withdraw from me, may turn against me completely. If that happens, at age 41 i will have no blood family left. Only contact with 3 people in real life (FWB, ex partner o my mum's and current partner, both of whom see and experienced her narc abuse), a best-friend who lives abroad. This is due in part to having MECFS whereby socialising was off the table, one of my bigger triggers for symptoms, so i lost contact with my old friends (probably for the good, many were toxic n i have fear id end up going back to 'old kim' with the ones who wernt regardless XD)
So as someone who is truly socially isolated, it is MUCH better to be alone than with the toxic people. You can always find other healthier people in the future to replace them.
Let the narc accuse you, in a way they are correct about grey rock to protect yourself and what they think doesnt matter, there is nothing you can do except avoid them which will stop their abuse. Stop trying to help the narc understand others, it gives them your attention n thus supply.
Those people with power n blackmail is where my concern for you lies.
It sounds as if you need an experienced therapist to help you navigate the journey to freedom, because it sounds as if the consequences are more than mine (losing all my family and a life-changing inheritance)
@@bestm333Self protect at all costs. It isn't easy but how bad so you want to be hurt repeatedly? Takes time to adjust but you will be happier.
Scented anything will make your body retard healing... very physically detrimental 👎
My kinda Joy❤️
No contact is the only way to begin to completely heal from these reptiles.
Totally agree - it’s taken me a long time to get to No Contact but I’m almost there and finally now healing.
@@peaceruntrue...but they try to ,appeal ,you with their toxic presence!
Not sure
I had an identity crisis when I went no contact, but sometimes that’s what it takes. Forgiving doesn’t mean letting them continue to abuse.
@@leefossett5777 very well said.
It’s so hard to heal when it’s your own mother who doesn’t really care about you. 😢
Mother and Grandmother, here.☝🏾😢
Honey, I feel your pain. My mother has developed days of true kindness here and there. I just can't fall for her reeling me back in. That is the brutal part- getting you to trust them so they can slam you again.
She used to just be critical and verbally brutal to me most of the time. Now there are periods of nice with her. If I get sick or have a bad day, she will usually destroy me emotionally. Once in a great while she will support me but only to turn again.
BTW, I care about you. You don't deserve to be disregarded and disrespected.
Mine never did. She saw a doctor and told him and he told her love will come. She told him I know it won't. Guess what? It never did and she lied about it. I would have been better to have known the truth. Less crazy dissonance. No doubt in my mind anymore with help from our good Dr. Ramani. It's OK . Neither of us asked for me to be.
@@gregpendrey6711one time when I was a teen, my heart was breaking I begged my mother for comfort. She sat next to me on the couch and stared ahead while I cried my heart out. I asked of she could just love me for a moment.
Her rely in a flat voice was, "I have no love for you."
Now many years later when she hangs up the phone she tosses out "love ya" making sure I say it back, but it is hollow.
I spent my birthday alone. The narcissist called but I didn't answer I didn't want to hear anything negative that day.😊
I spent my 60 bday with my family,the narc in my life got dressed up & took his 94 yr old mother out to eat! No card,no flowers,no recognition. 😢
Narcissist are the most evil,cold hearted people I've ever met
Before I went no contact I used to save the dreaded phone calls for days when I was already in a bad mood because of course he only has contempt, mockery, criticism, or at best indifference to offer. Narcs love to wreck your day, spoil the moment, and feel powerful when they can see how they’ve triggered you. Good for you for not picking up!
I totally understand & ABSOLUTELY MOST 🎉❤ DEFINITELY BIG Time agree 👍💯👍😊😂🎉❤ with U on this!!! I did I did something just like that on a different significant day, (Father's Day actually), & also NOT responding to the vulnerable narcissist's 😢😮"bread crumbing"/"love bombing" texts AND even "bread crumbed" them 😅😊🎉❤🎉❤(HaHa) by sending them an "out of the blue" text asking for "clarification" on their NO LONGER" effective gaslighting Love Luv LOVE bombing hovering ruminating texts🎉❤🎉😊🎉🎉🎉!!!! OMG U Guys, seriously, No joke, it felt Soo so friggin good 👍😊👍🎉❤🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😅😂🎉to KNOW, REALLY KNOW that "I" REALLY REALLY had FINALLY gotten this stuff & he wasn't having an emotionally negative effect & NOR "power" over me anymore, & I REALLY knew , like REALLY REALLY knew for sure he NEVER EVER would again; OMFG FELT Soo so VERY VERY AMAZINGLY GREAT 👍😊👍😊🎉🎉🎉!!!
😢 I'm feeling ya & I'm REALLY truly sorry they did that to you and made U, who I'm REALLY sure, IS & DESERVES to be BOTH Celebrated AND Acknowledged not just bc it's your birthday 🎉🎂🎉🎂❤❤, but also bc U just being the Wonderfully amazing person I'm SURE YOU are & ALWAYS HAVE BEEN as an awesome person, an awesome person in their life & REALLY maybe 🤔🧐 even MORE importantly DESPITE them having been in Your life & having done ALL the truly awful horrible things I'm sure THEY did to U!?!?! I REALLY want U to know that I get U & see & feel U! Sending YOU MUCH love 💕❤️🤗👍😊 😘 Luv LOVE & BIG BIG HUGS & validation on YOUR SPECIAL DAY! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 (Hope you'll see & read this & receive it in the way I intend! 🤗🎂💕❤️😻🙏🙏🎉👍😘👍🤗
Listening to the music you love, but they hated, at full volume.
Eating the foods you like without criticism (and self criticism).
Having an everyday polite conversation to random strangers at the store, without being terrorized your going to get a lifetime of abuse.
Taking hours to shop, or wander, or drive around, even with no purpose in mind, just because you can.
Wearing whatever you like, disregarding how you look.
Laying around all day in pjs, watching what you like, without being made fun of.
Embracing your challenges and everyday problems, without having to take on their drama as well.
Being emotional in any way you are feeling.
Going to places you love, and spending as much time as you want, doing what you like.
Breaking out any childhood toys you may have, or replacing the ones you used to love.
Rewatching old cartoons, tv shows, and films that you loved.
Buy a jar of bubbles and go run across a park with a soapy wand.
Volunteer to work with animals, the elderly, or kids.
Thank you for sharing this. This spoke to me. I'm in the process of going no contact from the narcissistic family members in my life. The rumination, guilt and grief I'm already feeling is hard. Just reading what you wrote, I envisioned myself doing these small but rewarding thing's, and it made me feel happy. You reminded me that I can have a life outside the narcissist, that the small thing's do matter. Thank you so much, I appreciate you. ❤❤❤
Same as SamuelB❤
Can't wait
All very good suggestions. Thanks 👍
Thank you for breaking it down so well,I'm going to use this as my guide to getting my life bk❤
Thank you for this! I'm proud of the work I've done on healing. And they don't need to know anything about it. It's not about them and therefore, they don't care. Living well IS the best revenge.
Remember it DOES get better and you can change. They can't, and they are miserable human beings.
100% true!
So needed to hear this 🤗🤗. Thank you 🙏🏼.
This is such a process. I never realized how “conditioned” I was till I started listening to your videos. Thank you.
Same. I had learned over the past twenty-seven years in a marriage to a narcissist that me being/acting happy is a big no-no. Since I found Dr. Ramani, I have been defying him and doing things I want to do. I often have to do it on the sly, but I am experiencing joy again. It feels wonderful! ❤
@@annjohnson8437 Exactly. You have to make a conscious effort to do things on your own and not mention it to him.
I agree
Me too. I didn’t realize how much I was shrinking myself and how I’d become a shell of my normal self just to avoid any of his bad behavior. So glad to have gotten away and trying to rediscover myself again
@@annjohnson8437 oh yes, I know that feeling all too well! I wasn’t ever allowed to be happy if I were I’d have hell to pay!! One time when we lived in Florida I worked at Supercuts and one of my coworker friends and I along with my husband went to a place called Mercado in Orlando to listen to a band and have a nice evening.. so my friend and I were clapping and watching the band my husband didn’t like it that he was being ignored. Why wasn’t he having fun listening to the band he wasn’t being ignored we were just enjoying ourselves. He took his foot and stomped on the top of mine really hard he had boots on and told me to stop acting like that!! 😡
Walking in the park and talking to birds has become a luxury
35:00 You don't need the narcissist the way the narcissist needs you. You are reason enough to heal! They really are just one other person, not the whole world they strive to be to someone else.
My ex would lose his temper and get aggressive if I dared to laugh and smile if he wasn't having a good day. I stopped laughing and smiling around him but kept on laughing and smiling in private. I'm glad I refused to fully stop being joyful for him. It's great since the breakup as I can be happy without checking to make sure he doesn't find out I am happy without his permission! Hugs to all survivors of narcissistic abuse.
Hugs🤗
Yes! Big 🤗 hugs!!!
This xmas I 'rescued a hurt'. I had been sad about the fact that my Narc Mom did not celebrate me even when I was the All City Doubles Champion while in High School. I saw a Sweater with a Tennis Racquet on it and it brought the memory back how it wasn't celebrated. I decided to order the sweater and chose the gift option and wrote in the card "All City Champ, I am sooo proud of you. Way to go". When it came I was so excited, read the card, put it on my fridge tried on my sweater....it fit and is so cute and I feel so good about it. Now I can look back with pride on my feat. I really feel like I time traveled and gave that champ the fanfare she deserves!
Love this so much! Bravo for being a tennis champ AND winning at self-love!👏
🎾🏆🌿😃🌿🏆❤
Congratulations 🎊 Be proud of You!! Let your light shine brightly always ❤ don't let others dim it...ever.
This is an intriguing idea. I might try this with my next birthday. Thank you for sharing. ❤
@@FuzzyValentine-n3h Hey Fuzzy, Happy Birthday 🎂 in advance! It was very helpful for me, as now when I think of my tennis days I think about my sweater, it certainly put some distance/a barrier between me and what Narc mom did (failed to do). I guess it's like filling a vacuum or void with what we want there! ❤
You rock!❤
“Yo, you didn’t mess me up!!!”
I cracked up at the beginning of your video, because that was definitely my driving force years ago. Thanks to people like you, I am so grateful to have come out of that state of being, to now feeling, thinking and actions of - sorry buddy you no longer get any of my energy at all
The best I ever feel is when I am close to my dogs and other animals. They don’t have the capacity for the evil that narcissists do. Animals and nature is healing to me.
Yes indeed!
My dogs and cats were the only souls that truly worried and cared about me, it certainly was not my so-called friends and family who literally treated me like I was weak and then let me know how much stronger they were than me. My friends and family did not understand and they were judgmental, critical, and really ignorant and heartless about what I went through. I’m still looking for a true friend. I have not found that. I always stand alone, and as bad as the breaking of my spirit and the years of crying and physically getting very sick from it was, I would not change it because I learned a lot. I got stronger. I do carry the toll it took on my health and I am not as affectionate, and loving as I once was. It killed my innocence. It killed my faith in humanity. But I stood up and fought for myself.
I Have same with plants and gardening… But I understand that next step is trusting people - strengthening the skills of healthy, deep meaningful relationships: not necessarily with romantic partners, but with kids, soul sisters, people of any ages who are capable of meaningful and not abusive relationships. Need to cultivate that…
Your knowledge is making me feel so self-empowered. I am finding joy again in the little things with every new day that passes. That makes me so happy. I forgot how much I truly enjoy life. I feel like I am gulping in lungfuls of fresh air and nourishing my soul that has been begging for attention and care. ❤❤❤
Your comment is so beautiful! I praying you are filled with joy!
You are describing glimmers. Little joys you experience in the randomness of life.
I have been feeling more joy and thriving again. Not being so exhausted anymore. Enjoying my plants, spring, my new neighbours. I feel like I'm living more now instead of surviving 🙏💖🌟💚🌷🐦🦋💯❤️
Codependency requires a lot of work to change our perception and our focus and to forgive ourselves and simply accept what other people do for their choice and move on make our best life
You’ve turned stories of tragedies into stories of transcendence - for us all. Thank you Dr. Ramani! ❤️🙋🏻♀️
Always remember that you get to change and heal. You get to have love and compassion in your life. You get to have peace in your home. You get to have gratitude in the knowledge that you now see things as they really are, instead of how you wish and want them to be. Your "mother" is stuck with her strange way of looking at the world, and her strange way of "loving" orhers FOREVER. Be at peace.
It does suck to hear many of the expressions you’ve said. The backhanded compliments, the admonishments about being selfish if I wasn’t agreeing and propping them up and having the rug pulled out from under me when I shared things about myself. Not being seen or worth listening to had me shutting down and building a wall around me. I still feel some grief, anger and sadness about the pathetic ways I looked for approval from others for far too long as an adult.
Dr Ramani,
Truly, what I’ve learned about narcissism in the past few weeks has been life changing for me. I left a 43 year marriage last year and so wish I’d had this information long ago- It has been quite a journey. The things I have learned lately just stop me in my tracks because I felt so alone. The confusion, deception, gaslighting, etc. have been my life for so long and it took an incident last year to make me realize I was not safe and could not continue. I feel so much better after just a year, like I’m getting me back! Along with all the craziness, my ex husband was seriously addicted to prescription medication and I always felt like I had to take care of him. I realize now that I’ve lived many years in a toxic and hopeless marriage. My three children were very supportive of my decision to leave and honestly if it weren’t for the support of family and friends, I’d still be married but very much alone. I could go on, but just want to thank you for your work and for others. It has helped me more than you’ll ever know. Thank you-❤
Thanks. My goal is independence, authenticity, & individuation. Camus said, "My very existence is an act of rebellion." Don't settle. Break the cycle. Rebel. We got this. Let's go!
😢❤😂F----, yeeeah!
YES! Thanks for this great comment!😃❤💪
Mhmmmm God sent post!
Thank you for this. Negative self talk was ingrained in me. I'm guilty of referring to myself in every negative way you mentioned. Learning to love yourself is a difficult beautiful journey. ❤
Here are some effective tips for healing from narcissistic abuse:
1. Seek professional help: It's important to seek therapy or counseling from a professional who is experienced in treating narcissistic abuse. They can provide you with the support and tools you need to heal from the trauma.
2. Set boundaries: Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial in protecting yourself from further abuse. It's important to learn how to assert yourself and say no to things that are not in your best interest.
3. Practice self-care: Engage in self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as meditation, exercise, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is essential for healing.
4. Educate yourself: Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse and the tactics used by narcissists. Understanding the dynamics of abuse can help you make sense of your experiences and empower you to move forward.
5. Surround yourself with support: Seek out a strong support network of friends and family who can offer you love, understanding, and empathy. It's important to have people in your corner who believe and support you as you navigate the healing process.
It's important to prioritize your healing journey because narcissistic abuse can have long-lasting effects on your mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and low self-esteem. By prioritizing your healing journey, you are taking the necessary steps to reclaim your power, restore your sense of self-worth, and move forward to a healthier and happier life. Your healing journey can also help you break the cycle of abuse and establish healthier relationships in the future.
same, this channel helps with catching sometimes whereas before it could go on and on for months without a single other person picking up on it - you perfect masking so that only you know the internal punishments your handing out keeping up the narcissists' work for them without realizing it
I enjoy nature and I experienced beautiful nature situations that is not easy to explain to common people. Must of the people around me don't care about nature situations and few of them don't like nature. But thanks God for all beautiful things and nature that we can enjoy everyday. Thank you so much Dr Ramani, blessings 🙏
Nature feels sacred !😊
My best healing moments have happened while taking quiet time in nature.
Nature nourishes, nature heals, nature gives back you to You.
Me too
Yes Dr. Ramani. I had someone ask me “was it that bad?” And yes I’m feeling a little better being where I am at. Thank you!💙
I ran into my ex-narc at a wedding and was terrified before hand as how I would handle it. I did find. He was full of questions and when the opportunity appearred, I got up moved away. It had been 20 to 25 years & he has not changed. I had! Your words have been a blessing to me. I am so strong now. Thank you for giving me the strength to do my life I now have.
Happy Birthday Dr.Ramani! In case you have not heard enough: we love you so so so much .
Get on with life as best you can- because we never know when those joyful moments will happen. Recently I got new tires (and I was SO grateful to be able to buy them), and needed to drive 25 miles before taking them back to retighten the lug nuts. I randomly drove to a body of water just out of town, where the light and reflections were particularly perfect at that moment. It was such a beautiful sight, I pulled into a muddy parking lot next to the lake in order to take it in. I was alone and completely transported. I drove back to the tire store completely uplifted in the hoy of nature. The feeling stayed with me for days. What an unexpected gift! 🙏
Joy not hoy! Lol!
Doc - I recently turned the corner. I stood firm on my boundaries. my sister tried to break my no contact with my mom and I was really proud to say I stood firm for myself and no one else. Im really proud of the work I'm doing to heal my inner child, she feels a bit better . Thank you
Thank you so much for doing what you do. You saved me. JOY ok
It is about finding joy in he little things.Happiness .😊😊
A beautiful piece . I found joy in your. Words. ❤
Here's the thing: A month ago, I found out that both of my parents are narcissists, and I'm currently in a grieving process from a friend I loved so much, who happens to be a narcissist, and who decided to discard me and go no contact. So now I'm trying to understand how to heal from the hurts of these important people in my life 💔
❤
😢
Hey Doc, life is a school and you are Aceing it 💖🙌..
If they broke it off with you, that was your God saving you. Do with that what you will.
It has been difficult to laugh, the last few years.
I really got on the path to healing when my son was born. My husband wasn't on board. He completely checked out, lived in the house and ate the food, but didn't pay a cent. I had been handling the household, baby, and returned to work. When I became happy again, when I was able to make it work, the abuse amped up. He was willing to step outside of the covert cover and be blatantly demeaning; speaking to me like a dog, for example. If you are in a relationship with a sense of resentment, be careful with your joy. Keep it close. Obviously do a test, but if you're here, you probably know how they'll respond. If I had not shown him that I was doing okay while he was in my house, I might have been able to dodge the bankruptcy that came with divorce.
Dr Ramani - Narc was a lesson in my life , you have been a blessing - thank you !!!
Thank you so much for this.
Thinking back, 8 years ago when I started with my awesome, now retired therapist, she definitely tackled my negative self talk. It blew me away, how cruel I was to myself. How many of the phrases were just me repeating what had been flung at me in anger so many years ago. Painful and transformative. I love your channel.
🕊❤️
A friend recently shared a way to deal with others who aren’t self aware and are difficult and challenging, or just plain assholes. Seeing them as being badly programmed helps to have some degree of compassion for them and not take what they say or how they behave personally. So very hard to do though if still in contact with those kinds of people. Setting healthy and firm boundaries are key … and a learning process. You truly are a gift to us.😊
Oh my goodness, THANK YOU DR RAMANI!!!! Your video breaks me into tears, convicts my heart, mind and soul. How true, but very challenging to go through to heal. I am in the process of divorcing my 38 1/2 years of marriage to a narcissistic husband. I have met obstacles after obstacle to get an attorney and to get the process of serving my husband w/papers. I am absolutely burned out and exhausted, trying to keep going even though I feel every door closing in on me. Attorneys are overloaded, court system bogged down, UGH! One day at a time - not giving up on “getting out” beginning a NEW LIFE free of abuse and continued journey to healing the parts of me that died long ago . . .I catch myself laughing from time to time and being surprised to “catch myself” laughing again, like REALLY laughing, and giving myself internally an “that a girl” applause for feeling ALIVE again. Words are insufficient to express my immense gratitude for the GOOD work you are doing! God bless you abundantly, Dr. Ramani. Prayers for healing for all those souls out there in the world struggling to heal from these toxic relationships.
Blessings❤️
Your videos have validated my experience. Thank you!
I've heard that one from friends who don't understand -- "You seem to be doing OK." Wow, just because my soul has been crushed and I still have the self discipline keep my shit together long enough to hold a polite conversation with you, I must really be just fine! Thanks for filling me in!
After I start feeling happy again, I question myself if this state was so easy how come I was stuck in sad state for so many years. Then I start to feel may be I could have achieved this state while I was in the relationship. Then I contact them,then things go wrong, then I realize, 'yes, that's why!!'
😅😅😅❤
Dr Ramini you are a lifeline to all of us who have survived narcissistic abuse! We love you!!
This was very insightful!!
Powerful
Thank you 🦋
Still finding it hard to enjoy small things. Each time I do it’s a concious effort and I speak it out aloud. I barely believe in the simple joys I lived for prior to meeting the Narc. Feel as if they stole my soul and am left with their harsh contempt and degrading view of me. Yes it’s a trauma wound. I’m still watching these videos to stop myself going back to them 3years on and to keep the joy I felt at being with them/falling for them at the beginning.
It's been 3yrs for me too and I still videos. In the beginning they saved my life,don't know how I found DE Ramoni nut Thank God I did
So true- negative self talk is so reflexive. So is the voice of the narc parent that we hear in our mind even after we're grown up. Identifying it is so important.
grateful thankyou
1. you are awesome mam , i m grateful for this video with tears in my eys that i m allowing myself to feel joy ,
2. while hearing about narcessism healing , I am feeling that I am being healed so Is so instead of suffering I Can Have a mindset of that I am being healed as
feeling joy as a defense mechanism
3. ,listening a song which i loved ,4. going back in mind nd seeing good things also were there in narc relationship
5. ,celebrate urself like ur birthdays small things about u
6. reflect how did i grow from narcessistic relationship
7. what good i get from that
change ur tradgy to stories
8. saying things r alwys going to be this bad -to- right now things r not going well ,will change our perspective
9.change negative self talk habit ,
10. now u r doing the work they did to you ,u go to phsychotgerpy , listening narcessistic healing talks
but u r thinking healing is about them thay u r going to show them healed
so
stop making healing about them
make it about your aspiration
make it about you
💖Your video came up automatically after a key word search 2 years ago. I immediately felt an out of body experience because I finally had words for what was happening. My therapist, caseworker, and little sister helped me escape. Thank you so much 💖💖
Exactly what I needed to hear today. YOU are a Joy that I can savor, Dr. Ramani!
I love you Doctor Ramani. Thank you for these videos, your advice, everything. Hearing your voice calms me for a lot of reasons. You add a lot of new perspectives, viewpoints, while also understanding and seeing all the things we think others won't get or understand. It's extremely satisfying to know that someone gets it and is helping rather than saying get over it. That was so long ago. Move forward. Im a very strong and resliant main in all regards, but my last narcissist really broke me in so many ways that nothing interests me anymore. You have done so much to help. And I have made it a routine. That I usually go on a hike with my dog in nature away from everybody. And it's calm and beautiful and I love seeing the joy. My dog gets from running around. And I only put one earbud in my ear. And on that earbud, I'm listening to your videos. So it's like triple healing for me plus exercise, and I've been doing that for the last year. . it's funny because I have definitely caught myself laughing. And then in the moment worrying, I'm gonna get yelled at for laughing. Or I used to get worried that I'm going to get punished for laughing and being happy later on and eventually through time. You know, it went from laughing and then looking around. It's like okay, where's my punishment for actually being happy to now. I'm actually starting to feel happy without worrying about something bad happening After the fact. Thank you. I hope one day I can meet you and join some of your classes this year too. Thank you
Happy birthday Dr Ramani. Your work, your efforts, and your videos have been so valuable to me and I truly appreciate it.
I have a "big" birthday coming up soon and I've been contemplating my life. I sometimes think about going back into my shell of the past, when I knew nothing about narcissism, and I could pretend everything was "normal". It doesn't take long for me to come to my senses and realize, for all the pain and anguish I've endured, I'm so much better off knowing about narcissism.
My gift to myself is not seeing myself as a victim, but as a stronger, better, more knowledgeable person. I've gained much more than I've lost.
Thank you Dr. Ramini for all you do, you'll never realize how much good you've done for me. ❤
Thank you DR ! I wish i knew this 10 years a go.the healing process would be easier but anyway i am really proud of my self for making some brave decisions that time .❤
So true, even the beautiful things also look ugly and scary when we are in narcissistic relationships. Music and spirituality are supposed to be healing and beautiful. I have seen them being used in so toxic way, that I started to hate them. People use spirituality as something to boast about, "I am spiritual, I believe in god,I am so great" then they do all wrong things. It makes us lose interest in spirituality.
3:01 For me, it is useful to focalize ourselves on our fears because They Stop the healing.
Reclaiming joy! That’s where I am now. Ready! Set! Go!
I’ve spent the last year learning all I can about narcissistic abuse. Painfully I’ve grieved and allowed all the feelings. After a lifetime of trying to fix and understand myself, not realizing my upbringing was the root of the metastasis that gaslighting and neglect caused in my whole insides. Radical acceptance! Better late than never.
I agree, finding those personal moments of joy is what helped me get thru childhood with my narc mother and the marriage with my narc ex. It is something very special to me that help me ground.
Art and being in nature are amongst other things are on top of my list.
Love the idea of a joy journal! Thank you Dr. Ramani.👍🏻♥️
Dr Rumania cannot thank you enough, you’ve showed me a healing path…. Bless you
I've heard the small moments, the little bits of joy you find in life called "glimmers". Enjoy the glimmers.
Thank you so very much for all of your work! You have been instrumental in my healing from this horrible narcissistic marriage.
Dr. Ramani. Happy birthday. A big Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You Saved My Life! Your knowledge and your kind advice opened my eyes. God bless you for all you do to help those of us when everyone else blamed us. You are awesome!
This is where I love you completely
Your videos have helped me understand myself more deeply and what I’ve been through. Recovery and healing is hard work and beautiful at the same time. I want to live my remaining days authentically, with interdependence and joy with my healthy tribe and with myself. Thanks so much for your efforts and work.
Very vulnerable topic♀️ Well done Dr. Ramani.🕯️🩷
🌟 Hope your 💜✨55th✨💜 was Splendid!🌟
🩷🥂💖🎁🩷🎂☕🍰🩷💛💜💜💛🩷
✨Thank you for mountains of your work shared with us, healing the world one day at a time 💜✨
Your knowledge and understanding is literally saving my psychological health. Thank you Dr. Ramani ❤ 🙏🏼
🎉Dr Ramani, you deserve all the happiness, joy, and love! You have helped so many with all you do! So appreciate you dear one! Happy and Blessed Birthday to you!🎉💖
Thank YOU, Dr Ramini 🌹
Omg. Thank you Dr. Ramani. It's a long way to go for me. But I'm so deeply touched by these words.
You are my hero!
I listened to this one twice! I really appreciate that you do what you do. It's like you know exactly what is in my head. You have no idea how much you have saved and validated me.❤
Hi dr Ramani. Could you please do another video on neglectful narcissists - there is so little content about this online and this kind of narcissist is soooo confusing and difficult to understand. Thank you ❤
I am married to a neglectful narcissist, and I agree I would like to have much more content on this to help me understand, and perhaps give me the strength to leave so I can heal
Happy Birthday to you Dear Dr Ramani! You have made a huge difference in our lives. Enjoy your special day! Many blessings to you and your loved ones!
Hope is absolutely necessary for recovering from the damages to our character brought on by the negative feedback we received from Monsters (the word I have chosen to remind me that narcissistic people cannot be redeemed through love).
I have to hope that my ex husband will be arrested for what he has done to our daughter who is now 21 and so damaged from his abuse that she still lives with him. I reported the abuse to the FBI when she told me, now I can only pray 🙏
Everything you say, everything you talk about…Thank you. You validate what I have experienced and felt and am recovering from. You get it. Thank you. Thank you. Seriously. Thank you. I don’t think I can say that enough. Thank you.
Thank you so much Dr Ramani❤
I’m so glad I watched this today. The gloomy days without sun are really getting to me. This is a keeper for sure. Went to see the musical The Book of Mormon on Friday. My friend and I haven’t laughed so hard since we could remember. Highly recommended unless you are someone without a sense of humour around religion.
Yes! Living well is paramount but not as revenge! Joy for the sake of it!
I was involved in a narcissistic relationship for 10 years. My ex husband used my chronic condition (Multiple sclerosis) against me until I was nearly diagnosed with second progressive Multiple sclerosis. I lost all my friends, and my family cut me off. It's been two years since I left him, but I'm still battling to heal.
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It took me a good 2/ 2&1/2yrs to get out of my depression. A bad trauma bond
Thank you Dr Ramani im celebrating my 50th milestone birthday this year and i didn't want to celebrate, i will give it some thought now.
I can definitely relate to not wanting to watch certain movies, visit certain places and something I've learned through therapy is to not entirely close myself off but to park it for a moment especially while im focussing on my healing. I am learning healthier flexibility ❤
Same here and really stumped on what to do (if anything).
Thank you you helped me open my eyes to crazy world that I used to think was my fault was just opposite and now I’m understanding the pain from the past and the pain of now and why and the mess that goes on ❤
I always wanted to get in a great relationship to show my ex that I can. It hasn’t happened and that’s ok, other things make me happy and I never see my ex anyway.
Dearrrrrr Dr Ramani, thank YOU❤ for this healing program!!! Very well explained!!!! and I MYSELF am surviving and fully agree with your advice which I myself have been doing for the last 10 years. Through your youtube sesións, I realize nowww that how I react now with my narcist partner is correct( I did it all on my own( not really realizing it was NARCISSiSM)which makes ME😊😊😊 and proud of myself!!!!
Thank YOU for doing your very best to help others through these sesions❤. CL 😘 😘 😘 🍀 🍀 💙💚❤️
Working on laughing again smiling again without feeling guilty( couldnt laugh and smile during the marriage, he was always doing something sneaky lying cheating just being hateful period especially if i said something he didn't like or called him out on his lies) its tough but im gettinf there. Thank God i got myself out that marriage!!! 30 years 3 years out!!!! Thank you Dr Ramani!!! And yes i gift myself!!!!
Thanks to you Dr. Ramani and the support on this channel, I'm really starting to feel stronger and more educated about the effects narcissistic abuse has on a person, mind, body and soul.
That’s good ; Healing is about flexibility”
You are God sent, an angel of life. I don't have the words to thank you. May God bless you whatever you wish for.
Just ended it with a narcissist
He didn't give a crap when he did eff me up, your right he will not give a crap when I do meet my goals. He's never supported my goals a day in my life, especially if it wasn't a big money maker, school was out of the question, things that didn't bring in money was stupid, volunteering was stupid, being a mentor was pointless, when I was running my own business he wanted to take it over cause he could do it better...... Crazy!!! He actually put me through so much confusion and exhaustion I had to let that business go.
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Reading your book Its Not You and watching your videos has and still is helping me with my healing journey Thank you so much, for years i felt so misunderstood, was told im "Difficult" i felt i was fo blame so much, i have had so many Aha moments reading your book, through tears streaming down my face learning what radical acceptance means!!
I saved one purpose and that wasthe supply that whay she picked on me. I was the supply and what happened after that discard. By her blocking she did not block the sunlight
I absolutely love you! Thank you Dr.Ramani for all you share freely. The accessibility of this therapeutic information along the many places of this journey has been valuable beyond words. I will keep listening and keep healing. Again, heartfelt thank you!
Such a beautiful picture to drop some leaves into the ocean and let things go! As in my area there is no ocean, I will have to go with dropping the leaves into a river. Or: making soap bubbles, like the little ones, and watch them fly away!
but what they do is so life-draining....
Dr. Ramani,
Thank you again! Your wise words have helped me go forward towards God's purpose for me.
For years, I have read about "negative self talk".
Never did I realize how I survived and felt "ok" when I was by myself.
It must be about me! NOT about them!
God bless you ❤️ 🙏 for your dedication to me and others like me.
THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OR SEE YOU (ME).
THEY WILL TAKE, TAKE TAKE.
Yeah, no. I don't had if sees me healing or not. I have to live for me, his form of arrested development I lived under him was 22yrs. I owe it to myself to move on and prosper. People will always minimize what they've never lived in or under in regards to any form of abuse. Narc abuse is so hard to see full scope for others, don't take an L anymore once you walk away. Only accept W for yourself and give yourself the best. You set the bar and you control the bar. That's where I am now. It's not been easy, but it has been necessary for getting outta survival mode into living in a happily mental and emotional mode. The only breadcrumbs I eat now are on my toast.
Thank you 💞
It's new that I can enjoy a good smel in the wind, watching the cat play, enjoy colors, walking.... That's begining alife 😊