"basically the only way the relationship works is if we quit ourselves and become what they want us to become " Wow! That's exactly what happened with me. I'm now trying to find myself again.
Narcissist or not,if the person is a detriment to your mental health,just leave!!it might be hard but not impossible!! eventually you will realise that it was for the best!
My narcissist ex is a substance abuse counselor. The reality is this person is more of an addict than the people they treat. Usually the underlying issues are the same but their drug of choice is “supply” With this position they garner unlimited adoration and validation with a never ending revolving door.
Mine is about to become a Forensic Psychologist. She is also a porn, sex and was (possibly still is) a Meth addict. It’s frightening that they work themselves into those positions
@@ymmij388 no doubt they are high functioning and intelligent but lack introspection. I asked my nex “doesn’t anything you have learned help our situation?” the answer was “it’s not my personal life” i felt awful and hopeless at that point
I disagree. There is something within the target that the narcissist is attracted to whether it be physical beauty, talents (singing, acting, successful business person), or a brokenness (broken from death, abandonment, illness, an emotional vulnerability) - it doesn’t matter what trauma the targeted person has experienced, even if sexually or physically abused as a child, it’s the genuine kindness and a light from within that attracts the narcissist. Sadly, the malignant covert narcissist is the chameleon who moves throughout the family, church, school, business or community manipulating people and situations to gain power through gaslighting and coercive control. It’s ALL about winning for the narcissist…..at ANY cost.
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
I am a Narcissistic magnet for both men and women... I'm exhausted...just ended a friendship with a 'covert narcissist' ; she tried to convince me that she was 'an empath', there was something, maybe her temper tantrums and threatened suicides. Thanks to the doc for the enlightenment... it's been climbing out of quicksand for over a decade....🎉
Do you ever get curious about what it is about You that makes you (in your words) "a narcissistic magnet for both men and women"? .. But even more-so, WHY you feel compelled to let them into your heart / house / bed / life? I would think it's easier to change something in yourself so that you can 'resist them' rather than to try to change all the narcissistic men and women out there.
I seem to keep getting people who turn mean (often from jealousy),& I have to drop them. As a result, I'm focussed on learning to have a positive and lovely daily routine, so even if I have no friends at all, I can live well, with goals. I think about what can i change in me, why do I do it etc, but I also simply think there are a lot of horrid people out there marauding around looking for people to latch on to, because other people got fed up with them. And because I moved to a new city (known for being unfriendly), & I'm an individual with my own style & ideas (instead of faking what I like & think to fit in with the crowd). I also have health limitations that slow me down.
@@elipotter369 love, Love, LOVE your approach, Eli!!! Kudos to You for turning *inwards* to see what can be done differently versus turning *outwards* to blaming and shaming and others. "Get curious WHY. YOU'RE. ATTRACTED. to these kinds of people" guys .. don't just stop at "oh, *they're* attracted to me" .. but that doesn't mean you have to let them (accept them into) your life, your home, your bed, your head .. !!!!
37:00 "...the only way to heal from narcissist abuse is to not focus on the narcissist..." Thank you Dr Ramani for that because with all this focus on the narcissist I was wondering how this works. So the goal is to educate ourselves first so that we know what we're dealing with in order to heal.
I ended a 14 yr relationship finally realizing what was going. And this week cut off my parents realizing it started with them!! The enmeshment and narc mom and narc dad. Its rocked my foundation to realize exactly what my mom has been doing to me. I've been diagnosed with over 7 autoimmune diseases since childhood. I feel lighter since I finally took back my power and just to finally know what hell has been happeing. The confusion was the worst.
Same with me. Minus the "7 autoimmune diseases." I'm 52 and had a come-to-Jesus moment when my narcissistic father was diagnosed with cancer last year. I realized NONE of my biological family gave a duck about me. 52 years. I've been propping up everyone else. :( To the detriment of my own finances and my own little family. This year, I went no-contact with ALL of my mother's side of the family (99% of my dad's side is already dead). It's been eye-opening. I also yeeted a bunch of narcissistic friends who'd been leeching off me for DECADES. It's been ten months, and life is still difficult, but oh so much more peaceful. You're right about the confusion.... it's been decades of gaslighting. It will take time to re-frame all the lies. :( Every day I am no-contact, I realize some other truth that was kept from me. :( Eye-opening. Life-altering. No-contact has been survival for me.
I have so much gratitude to Dr Ramani for giving me back my sanity. I remember those early days listening to her glossary videos with the definition of each term I.e. gaslighting. Had no idea what any of it meant while I was codependent and enmeshed with my mother as a starting point, and then repeating the same pattern in other relationships too. It was draining, confusing, hurtful and extremely disempowering. To feel shame and unworthiness is a cruel experience and we all deserve better, including the abusers - but for those surviving it, please know that it is not your job to fix anybody or to tolerate their dysfunctional behaviour, however you can wish them well from a distance. Dr Ramani, thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏 ❤
I will not even wish them well. If they cross my mind, I abruptly change my focus to what I am grateful for or my next step in reaching one of my goals.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
We do not attract them, they are attracted to us. It's not like we on purposely intentionally create the energy that draws them to us. Because we do not draw them to us. There are enough narcissists that we cross paths with them regularly and they are attracted to certain types of people. All the responsibility is on them.
I think of it as they initially are drawn to kind people as a potential source of supply and then envy turns them into competing with you - since they can’t compete with an authentic warm person that you are - they then set about destroying your reputation and relationships (a capable, kind, popular person) so they can feel better about themselves by convincing everyone you know you are abusing and they are the victim.
I learned the hard way Tocic Transactional Narcissists are prevalent kn Religious communities as well. Although I remain forEver a Deeply Spiritual Seeker, and empathic always wanting to fix, help, or rescue, after an eye opening bucket of ice water in the face shocker with very toxic predatory individuals in various Religious settings, I am currently a Loner , always reading and researching . I spend a LOT of time in Nature, excellent cup of coffee, enjoying sunrises , and occasional sunsets, loving to throw seed to birds, rabbits, squirells, and chipmunk squirealls, maybe enjoying a really good book, I tend to Steer Clear of humans at this point. I most likely Will steer completely clear of most humans for a Really Long time . I noticed I tend to want to believe the beautiful sounding, often engaging promises of toxic people and the narcissists in my life so until I figure this Out, best to Step Carefully !
I love the understanding of the communal narcissist. I know someone like that, always available for a charity event and seems so giving but behind close doors as a relative she is self-centered, mean and cold. The cognitive empathy is the part that confused me for the longest as to what I was dealing with.
Reminds me of 2 Timothy 3:1-5 .Explains why there is an epidemic of this personality style. Thankfully it's the last days of the world as we know it. Very soon all wickedness will be permanently removed ( and the bad memories!). Psalms 37:10,11,29 ❤❤
"Why do you love this person?" Uhh..., well..., I uhh..., you know, it's uhh..., etc. (me talking to my therapist) Free yourself from unhealthy relationships, it takes time and is painful and you'll make mistakes, but we all do, so don't punish yourself, keep up the good work, we need people like you!
I remember my malignant narcissistic ex on our first date was sitting and talking to me and kept saying, "You are gorgeous." At the time, I simply took this as a nice compliment, but later in the relationship, I realized that was the only reason he wanted to be with me.
They're using the word narcissism and it could certainly change. It was everywhere in the 1980s and it was celebrated. Now it's become so poisonous Nobody can idolize it anymore and it has spread everywhere. The worse instances are when these people are working as police teachers, mental health workers or in positions of power
Well, I married a narcissist before these conversations started. Our relationship was toxic and painful and I got out because of those reasons. But I had no idea he was a narcissist at the time. When I finally realized it, I wished I had known all the things that I now know. I wouldn't have felt so depressed and so useless and so unloveable. He made me feel that way, and I had no idea why. It took a long time to com back to myself, and learning about narcissism helped me a great deal in my recovery.
The irony about attracting them is, if you truly wanna weed out the ones that you feel are putting on a show, then you can always talk about this subject. Once they know you know, and they start to recognize some of the characteristics that you’re mentioning to them in themselves, they know that they can’t fool you, and then they will leave you alone leaving room for someone that will appreciate you. Now, sometimes they will shake in on their head like they understand you and you see it in them, and they refused to recognize it. That’s when you have to put up your own boundary and say to yourself that it is OK to say no. My core values are transparency, integrity, consistency, self-awareness, and accountability. If somebody doesn’t have these instilled in their core values, they very well could fit the narcissistic mold. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for saving all of our lives.
@ consciously they know, but they use their unconscious mindset to make decisions. It’s like the child inside of them makes the decision while the adult is sleeping. Eventually the adult will wake up and realize what the child is doing, but the narcissist has to hit rock bottom hard and loose all of their enablers for this to happen. Once this happens they have to self reflect and become more self aware and accountable. Then they will begin to exercise integrity and eventually become consistent and eventually more transparent.
@@revolutionunderground some may be unconscious about it for sure. Once they hit their rock bottom and self reflect they either figure it out and keep going through the same behavior pattern (because they have enablers and it’s comfortable to them) or if they are finally tired of it they work on themselves to see different perspectives and really asses their core values and work ethically to make conscious decisions to improve their actions and behavior patterns. A lot of them improve themselves, but then when they get hurt, they revert back to their old behavior patterns because they feel like they’re doing it for nothing but what they don’t realize is the Karma effect only attracts that negative energy right back into their life. If they instead reduce engagement with that situation and move on without the anger and bitterness, because they know that person is going to be doing the same thing over and over again then they will leave room to meet somebody that thinks the way that they now think. it’s a very long process it could take up to 5 or 6 years to completely understand everything throughly. You know that you figured it out once you’re not even attracted to what you once were attracted it. Some need confirmation they need to know that the person is an insecure type. Once they know that someone is insecure then the person working on themselves can consider that as a casual person not an exclusive person and it is truly a blessing not to waste time, energy, and emotions on someone who is not on your same level.
I know I'm Trauma-Bonded. I have been backwards and forwards with my Narcissist for 6Yrs, and I've had enough. I'm facing my truth as I can't live like this anymore. I came to the painful decision to block him last night and keep him blocked. NO MRE I keep saying to myself. I'm going to do the best I can to recover and heal. I know it'll take time but I know one day I'll get there. 🍒
Dr. Romani it was great to hear you say in the beginning they choose you because your attractive. This makes sense. This statement alone gave me so much self confidence
I find people get very confused between emotion and a conscience. Psycopaths are not emotionless, but they do lack a conscience 'the complex of ethical and moral principles that controls or inhibits the actions or thoughts of an individual.' Psychopaths feel emotions, as do narcissists. Some narcissists have a lack of empathy and some moral deficiencies, but do not fulfill the complete criteria for psychopathy. Always good to hear Dr Ramani's explanations.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
I like that part where she talks about like they’re two different type of people that might be in the same group I seen my husband help people at a restaurant pulling out chairs or carrying a baby chair whatever and then he’ll sit down and quietly talk about them behind their back right after he has helped them. I think one good way to find out who is the narcissist is by having someone that’s sincerely authentic be the leader in a room and see who tries to compete with them or to win them over because they like to win over that person so that they can find out the dirt on that person to put them downway that you can find out about a narcissist is find out what their life is on a social scale. Very rarely that I’ve ever heard make parties and like people over and help a lot on a consistent basis. I feel like they use their time more selfishly.
I profiled my ex and he checked 95% of the points of being a narcissist. Unfortunately I didn’t know this when we were married and I was reading up on on psychopaths and sociopaths but he didn’t fit the profile. Once I by chance saw a video on NPD, it was boom. That’s what I’m dealing with. Thanks God .il not crazy.
What Dr.Ramani describes is exactly what happened to me at work and uni. Incompetent and unprofessional people use those tactics to confuse people around them. Usually, they have flying monkeys, the same kind of narcissists. It’s just unbelievable. How can some people live with such a manipulative and corrupt mind?
Definitely. I found her channel on yt, it was the darkest time of my life, and she had the answers to all my questions and she could give me back my self assurance.
True genius is being able to break down a very complicated subject so that most anyone can understand and then ACT on what they’ve learned. Thank you Dr. Ramani
Narcissists don't choose us, WE chose them. Because we are broken inside and this sick dynamic seems so familiar to us and feels like home. A non-traumatised person will never accept this dynamic and won't be attracted to a narcissistic dynamic.
I escaped by going to Cole’s to get something for dinner and with my sister waiting round the corner I took off. Still traumatised but so happy, a do believe god was helping me.✝️
Yep. No reciprocity, unless it’s a transaction. Took me a while to realize, there were alot of ‘normal’ things that should have been there, that were missing. So I started to check that, by comparing to him to my ‘normal’ friends. Stark difference.
Yes everything is a transactional relationship. Took me a long time to accept all that he did during the love bombing stage wasn't out of kindness but done to gain trust and control. It still hurts knowing that it wasn't real.
Yes ma'am thats is true. The reason I stayed and allowed it was because I had a self image problem. Didn't think i was good enough or worth appropriate treatment.
At the 3:09 , Let's also not forget that to the outside world and extended family members, they hold a steady "balanced" personality around them to further gaslight you (the extended folks will unintentionally gaslight you) that they are decent people and something must be up with you, you are the problem therefore is what they may conclude!!
Dr. Ramani put it all in to perspective and found so much understanding into my life from childhood and in my 30 yr marriage. So grateful for her passionate, thoughtful, true knowledgeable hard work. Saved my life personally.
My experience with several N's in my life has been that their _mask_ seems to fall away at three months or so, just like clockwork. Narcs can't maintain the facade much longer than that. Also, a great point Dr. Ramani made was how does the narcissist _show up_ on _your_ best days??
Excellent vid, everything I learn about this really helps. Decades of feeling like the crazy one, so grateful to dr r, dr c and Jerry wise, helping people feel sane and supported ✌✊
Thank you for educating people about narcissism. I have spoken to two different people who have mentioned a narcissist mother in law and a narcissist wife. I think more narcissists are being exposed.
The Communal Narcissist is the information that has now let me be able to sleep at night. It just nice to be able to have someone as smart as this woman put a name to the idiotic man I was dating ! Goodluck everyone, Your doing great, Lets keep learning.
sometimes the angry person in the room is a beaten down spouse or victim of a covert or malignant narcissist? i am 40 years with one & im an empath soft type or was now im so angry & trapped .. these people destry you & not every one has means to leave thank you dr ramani i watch you all the time & you have helped me to cope bless you 😊
The great Dr. Ramani. By God what a scientist and human! A gift to Humanity indeed. What a gift her tremendously impactful work, the millions of people finding finally relief and sanity - because of a great brave spirit of a great human heart. So much love and gratitude.
They literally scan the room - and pick out potential prey - then they groom you - work on you - love bomb you and cleverly blast into complete oblivion what your first instinctual feelings may been.
And actually, I wasn’t at first attracted - they spotted my low self esteem - that’s like gold dust to them - and low self esteem is very easy prey - we succumb to that initial love bombing - then we work hard to keep up the pleasing - trying to make their gaslighting OK - making excuses for ghosting - cos we are grateful for their shitty breadcrumbs - until we are empty, finished - and have to suffer more watching them being so very sweet and kind and generous to everyone else out there! Horrible- and then we have to recover - I do not see much evidence of their collapse - no ! It’s victims that collapse!
My Narcopath is a Professor. I am a disabled veteran. I was just convicted for Domestic Violence and I never did anything , except trying to get away..
Veterans are the first to know corruption when they see it. What I hate is when they build this narrative that veteran's support wars veterans support corrupt police veterans support corrupt people in positions of power. I served for freedom and constitutional rights for everyone.
I appreciate so much Doc Ramani, I bought her last book and is great. However I suggest to listen and maybe interview Doc Peter Salerno too. He is very skilled and well formed on narcissism and cluster B personalities, he gives even a different perspective on some aspects like supposed shame of narcs, fragile ego and so on, based on scientific studies that really worth to listen.
Could you provide details on what he said about shaming and narcissism, and identify the video or book source? Also, could you kindly share the link or reference?
They don't have shame or guilt. They are not insecure deep down. They believe they are better than everyone else. If they are caught doing something bad, they are angry that they were embarrassed, but they are not sorry, do not have guilt, and are never ashamed. Those were new points other therapists aren't saying. The narc I know fits this understanding completely.
The embarrassment is not shame, it's more of being in a rage because they were caught and they feel like "how dare you put a chink in my public image! No one is supposed to know I do this when no one is watching!"
My only child, my precious daughter, is in a relationship with a narcissist. I have been trying to rescue her from this, but to no avail. She wants to get out, but he is so controlling, she can't. She books a flight home, and he forces her to cancel it. I feel so helpless. It is driving me crazy! What can I do??😢
@@LDRevisDoes she work? YOU can book the ticket and send it to her job. It may take her having to be transparent with her direct supervisor, to ensure it gets to her. But, it'll be worth it so she can get out safely.
Finally a podcost host that asks GOOD questions that follow the train of thought of the guest! So many popular but trashh hosts just blurt out random questions.
Can you do a video about aggressive and demeaning behavior in a professional environment? There are lots of videos on passive aggressive but what to do with someone that’s blatantly aggressive and insulting? Only privately when no one is around.
The management in my apartment building is like that, except that they don't care if others see them. At least, other tenants. They don't want anyone from the community to see it.
Is there any help for the narcissist? What drives this behavior? I am a grandmother who is seeing these signs in my grandson. I'm heartbroken. Is there any help or hope. He is intelligent, gifted and wise beyond years. All I hear is the negative.
lmao!!!! wow Dr. Ramani, Guess how I knew my body told me to run before I knew what "Narcissism" was? I didn't feel comfortable going number 2 with him in the house LMAO! It took me about 4 months, and I STILL turn on the water and turn on a video while I go HAHAHA!!!
If I knew about Narcissism my life would have been different. If I knew about Narcissism my children would have been saved. If I knew about the Evilness Narcissism my pets would still be alive. If I knew about Narcissism I would have beenable to help many innocent people, pets. If I knew about Narcissism I would have at least been prepared for it. Thank you Dr. D. RAMANI
Dr Ramani, i cant thank you enough for helping me understand what Narcicism and Narcicist are and decide to leave my r/ship bfeore i die mentally, emotionally and spiritually and ...Thank so much
Dr. Rameni, thanm you so much for being here - i mean on planet Earth. An amazing human being!!!! Very interesting to listen. I never get tired. Blessings to you! ❤
Sadistic behavior is the most obvious sign of a narcissist. They will punish you. Their favorite games are push-and-pull. Passive aggressive behaviour. Withholding intimacy and wasting time. They expect you to chase them. Forgive them, and move on. Pray for them. The devil has nested in their hearts and minds. Don’t hold grudges. That is how you overcome the devil's plot against your soul. Love is the cure. ❤. God loves you because you are a beautiful soul. They chose you because the devil is jealous of you.
My mother and father were both narcissistic. Maybe that's why they couldn't stay together. I thought my mom drove him away, but I think they were like magnets that repel each other.
No empathy belittles flips everything back at me. He is always the victim. 4 years arguing flips back at me emotionally I learned to control my emotions it makes him bad. Empath vs narcissistic spiritual war. No spiritual connection for them cause they think they know everything and we can’t fix them. Cause they don’t see problem with self so we can’t help people that don’t want help. Married to one for 24 years working on way out. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the inf, I just left one, I feel so feel, no more games from him, no more silence from him, would lie on top of lies and try to shut me up, it was scary and terrible. He did use me, I did give him so much of my help.
I hear the same things repeatedly being said about narcissism. I am not a psychiatrist nor trained in the field of the mind. I am human and I live in this world. In my life experiences I have been placed in a spectator position and more times than not an unknowable innocent participant in soical psychopathic narratives. Now it seems to me that it has come to this narrative at least from my world view. The Super Structure of any society is the core relationship and reflection of the way members of that society interact as a norm with very specific narrow moral codes based on the acceptance of a picked specific personality trait that reflects the ideal submission of group identity and enforcement of that submission. Slaver in the United States is a prime example of this.
She absolutely saved my life and SANITY , I will never be able to put into words my gratitude for her channel
Well done you 👍👍👍🕊🕊🕊
❤❤❤😫😫you and her are so great!!😊
Me too. She's a God send...LOVE💖💖💖
Same. I love her. So grateful
HER PLATFORM IS BUILT ON VIOLATION, EXPLOITAITON, STALKING, LIES, AND ENSLAVEMENT.
"basically the only way the relationship works is if we quit ourselves and become what they want us to become " Wow! That's exactly what happened with me. I'm now trying to find myself again.
Bless you, at least you are aware , me too . may grace guide us
Narcissist or not,if the person is a detriment to your mental health,just leave!!it might be hard but not impossible!! eventually you will realise that it was for the best!
Great advice, I found that the best solution also.
My narcissist ex is a substance abuse counselor. The reality is this person is more of an addict than the people they treat. Usually the underlying issues are the same but their drug of choice is “supply” With this position they garner unlimited adoration and validation with a never ending revolving door.
That's insane.Thanks for sharing, but it makes sense.
AA is a narcissistic playground 😢 they prey on codependents for supply😮
Mine is about to become a Forensic Psychologist. She is also a porn, sex and was (possibly still is) a Meth addict.
It’s frightening that they work themselves into those positions
@ymmij388 WOW 😳
@@ymmij388 no doubt they are high functioning and intelligent but lack introspection. I asked my nex “doesn’t anything you have learned help our situation?” the answer was “it’s not my personal life” i felt awful and hopeless at that point
Dr. Ramani is a Gift to Humanity❤
Are u sure🤔
She really is. She made me know I wasn't crazy and I'm forever thankful
💯 she truly is. Her finding is a Revelation to us. Let’s stop the Carnage. Narcissistic has done enough damage
LOVE💖💖💖
RAMANI IS DESTROYING HUMANITY, MORON
I don’t think we attract them, they come hunting for us!!!
This!
Exactly
I disagree. There is something within the target that the narcissist is attracted to whether it be physical beauty, talents (singing, acting, successful business person), or a brokenness (broken from death, abandonment, illness, an emotional vulnerability) - it doesn’t matter what trauma the targeted person has experienced, even if sexually or physically abused as a child, it’s the genuine kindness and a light from within that attracts the narcissist. Sadly, the malignant covert narcissist is the chameleon who moves throughout the family, church, school, business or community manipulating people and situations to gain power through gaslighting and coercive control. It’s ALL about winning for the narcissist…..at ANY cost.
True, In 1 Peter 5:8 we are warned, “Be alert and sober minded. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
I agree! Predators are seeking victims. Victims don't seek predators.
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it.
They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves.
When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.
Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
I am a Narcissistic magnet for both men and women... I'm exhausted...just ended a friendship with a 'covert narcissist' ; she tried to convince me that she was 'an empath', there was something, maybe her temper tantrums and threatened suicides. Thanks to the doc for the enlightenment... it's been climbing out of quicksand for over a decade....🎉
Perhaps you should not look at the external world but examine your internal reality
Extreme melanchily like threatened suicides ARE the definition of being an empath
Do you ever get curious about what it is about You that makes you (in your words) "a narcissistic magnet for both men and women"? .. But even more-so, WHY you feel compelled to let them into your heart / house / bed / life? I would think it's easier to change something in yourself so that you can 'resist them' rather than to try to change all the narcissistic men and women out there.
I seem to keep getting people who turn mean (often from jealousy),& I have to drop them.
As a result, I'm focussed on learning to have a positive and lovely daily routine, so even if I have no friends at all, I can live well, with goals.
I think about what can i change in me, why do I do it etc, but I also simply think there are a lot of horrid people out there marauding around looking for people to latch on to, because other people got fed up with them.
And because I moved to a new city (known for being unfriendly), & I'm an individual with my own style & ideas (instead of faking what I like & think to fit in with the crowd). I also have health limitations that slow me down.
@@elipotter369 love, Love, LOVE your approach, Eli!!! Kudos to You for turning *inwards* to see what can be done differently versus turning *outwards* to blaming and shaming and others. "Get curious WHY. YOU'RE. ATTRACTED. to these kinds of people" guys .. don't just stop at "oh, *they're* attracted to me" .. but that doesn't mean you have to let them (accept them into) your life, your home, your bed, your head .. !!!!
37:00 "...the only way to heal from narcissist abuse is to not focus on the narcissist..." Thank you Dr Ramani for that because with all this focus on the narcissist I was wondering how this works. So the goal is to educate ourselves first so that we know what we're dealing with in order to heal.
I ended a 14 yr relationship finally realizing what was going. And this week cut off my parents realizing it started with them!! The enmeshment and narc mom and narc dad. Its rocked my foundation to realize exactly what my mom has been doing to me. I've been diagnosed with over 7 autoimmune diseases since childhood. I feel lighter since I finally took back my power and just to finally know what hell has been happeing. The confusion was the worst.
Same with me. Minus the "7 autoimmune diseases." I'm 52 and had a come-to-Jesus moment when my narcissistic father was diagnosed with cancer last year. I realized NONE of my biological family gave a duck about me. 52 years. I've been propping up everyone else. :( To the detriment of my own finances and my own little family. This year, I went no-contact with ALL of my mother's side of the family (99% of my dad's side is already dead). It's been eye-opening. I also yeeted a bunch of narcissistic friends who'd been leeching off me for DECADES. It's been ten months, and life is still difficult, but oh so much more peaceful. You're right about the confusion.... it's been decades of gaslighting. It will take time to re-frame all the lies. :( Every day I am no-contact, I realize some other truth that was kept from me. :( Eye-opening. Life-altering. No-contact has been survival for me.
Maybe limit the time with parents instead of cuting them off.
They probably did the best they could to raise you ?
I hear you and i'm with you.The confusion was the worst, but not the veil is lifted?It's all about taking care of ourselves.
@@orianam9835 When we can handle it, we'll unblock them.
@@orianam9835I hate that assumption that people did the best, you know don’t even don’t even try! Let her go no contact if that’s what s/he needs to
Dr. Ramani Literally Saved my SANITY more than once ..!
I have so much gratitude to Dr Ramani for giving me back my sanity. I remember those early days listening to her glossary videos with the definition of each term I.e. gaslighting. Had no idea what any of it meant while I was codependent and enmeshed with my mother as a starting point, and then repeating the same pattern in other relationships too. It was draining, confusing, hurtful and extremely disempowering. To feel shame and unworthiness is a cruel experience and we all deserve better, including the abusers - but for those surviving it, please know that it is not your job to fix anybody or to tolerate their dysfunctional behaviour, however you can wish them well from a distance. Dr Ramani, thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏 ❤
Well done.
I started to listen to dr. Ramani 5 years ago.
She also helped me . But I still love the man I have left
I will not even wish them well. If they cross my mind, I abruptly change my focus to what I am grateful for or my next step in reaching one of my goals.
Yesssss
1:14 definition
2:07 shame
6:11 how to spot them
7:19 relationship
10:00 what they want
11:00 supply
12:53 communal
14:43 empathy
16:51 trauma bonded
19:58 schema
22:29 healthy models
23:29 authentic
26:18 sick of talking about it
27:32 discovery
31:18 Ramani being called one
33:42 being bothered
37:07 transformation
37:33 healing
41:57 entrappanuer narc
45:37 resources
43:26
Thank you for this time stamps, much appreciated xxx 👍
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
The out there grandiose and their opposite the sullen silent joy sucker is so true. Two extremes but ultimately the same pathology.
JOY SUCKER......GREAT TERM!
SULLEN SILENT JOY SUCKER! SO APT!
I'm thankful that dr tells us WHY do we attrack narcissists.
Because we need boundaries straight away.
We do not attract them, they are attracted to us. It's not like we on purposely intentionally create the energy that draws them to us. Because we do not draw them to us. There are enough narcissists that we cross paths with them regularly and they are attracted to certain types of people. All the responsibility is on them.
I think of it as they initially are drawn to kind people as a potential source of supply and then envy turns them into competing with you - since they can’t compete with an authentic warm person that you are - they then set about destroying your reputation and relationships (a capable, kind, popular person) so they can feel better about themselves by convincing everyone you know you are abusing and they are the victim.
Predators are on the prowl to find victims. The victims are not putting out a wavelength to find a predator.
That's blaming the victim.
@@susanmercurio1060 100%
@@LaniBananiYeah that’s been my experience. They’re always trying to be what their targets are.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani light bulb moment , a nassisit is a constant job of feeding and stocking the fire
I learned the hard way Tocic Transactional Narcissists are prevalent kn Religious communities as well. Although I remain forEver a Deeply Spiritual Seeker, and empathic always wanting to fix, help, or rescue, after an eye opening bucket of ice water in the face shocker with very toxic predatory individuals in various Religious settings, I am currently a Loner , always reading and researching . I spend a LOT of time in Nature, excellent cup of coffee, enjoying sunrises , and occasional sunsets, loving to throw seed to birds, rabbits, squirells, and chipmunk squirealls, maybe enjoying a really good book, I tend to Steer Clear of humans at this point. I most likely Will steer completely clear of most humans for a Really Long time . I noticed I tend to want to believe the beautiful sounding, often engaging promises of toxic people and the narcissists in my life so until I figure this Out, best to Step Carefully !
I love the understanding of the communal narcissist. I know someone like that, always available for a charity event and seems so giving but behind close doors as a relative she is self-centered, mean and cold. The cognitive empathy is the part that confused me for the longest as to what I was dealing with.
"How they show up on your bad days"- thank you Dr. Ramani- I have two narcissistic parents!
Married for 36 years to a narc and hearing this helps to get away.
Just leave... they are energy vampires ..i left, after 26 years
I made it 30 years before walking away. It's not easy but you'll heal and find happiness in being alone. 30+ years with narc is worse than prison.
24 yrs and these are really great support videos and finding others who been in one just as long
Reminds me of 2 Timothy 3:1-5 .Explains why there is an epidemic of this personality style. Thankfully it's the last days of the world as we know it. Very soon all wickedness will be permanently removed ( and the bad memories!). Psalms 37:10,11,29 ❤❤
It's so accurate.
Hey Sis❤
LOVE💖💖💖
You must be a Witness. Soon all these unhappy situations will be gone for sure. In Gods new world we will be able to trust everyone.
That is the truth. They are lovers of themselves.
"Why do you love this person?" Uhh..., well..., I uhh..., you know, it's uhh..., etc. (me talking to my therapist) Free yourself from unhealthy relationships, it takes time and is painful and you'll make mistakes, but we all do, so don't punish yourself, keep up the good work, we need people like you!
I remember my malignant narcissistic ex on our first date was sitting and talking to me and kept saying, "You are gorgeous." At the time, I simply took this as a nice compliment, but later in the relationship, I realized that was the only reason he wanted to be with me.
What does it matter if it's narcissism or not
If it's unhealthy it's time to think about finding a way forward & choose healing 🙏
Well said
They're using the word narcissism and it could certainly change. It was everywhere in the 1980s and it was celebrated. Now it's become so poisonous Nobody can idolize it anymore and it has spread everywhere. The worse instances are when these people are working as police teachers, mental health workers or in positions of power
Well, I married a narcissist before these conversations started. Our relationship was toxic and painful and I got out because of those reasons. But I had no idea he was a narcissist at the time. When I finally realized it, I wished I had known all the things that I now know. I wouldn't have felt so depressed and so useless and so unloveable. He made me feel that way, and I had no idea why. It took a long time to com back to myself, and learning about narcissism helped me a great deal in my recovery.
The irony about attracting them is, if you truly wanna weed out the ones that you feel are putting on a show, then you can always talk about this subject.
Once they know you know, and they start to recognize some of the characteristics that you’re mentioning to them in themselves, they know that they can’t fool you, and then they will leave you alone leaving room for someone that will appreciate you.
Now, sometimes they will shake in on their head like they understand you and you see it in them, and they refused to recognize it. That’s when you have to put up your own boundary and say to yourself that it is OK to say no.
My core values are transparency, integrity, consistency, self-awareness, and accountability. If somebody doesn’t have these instilled in their core values, they very well could fit the narcissistic mold.
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for saving all of our lives.
Maybe many people have these patterns without realizing it
@ consciously they know, but they use their unconscious mindset to make decisions.
It’s like the child inside of them makes the decision while the adult is sleeping.
Eventually the adult will wake up and realize what the child is doing, but the narcissist has to hit rock bottom hard and loose all of their enablers for this to happen.
Once this happens they have to self reflect and become more self aware and accountable. Then they will begin to exercise integrity and eventually become consistent and eventually more transparent.
@@revolutionunderground some may be unconscious about it for sure. Once they hit their rock bottom and self reflect they either figure it out and keep going through the same behavior pattern (because they have enablers and it’s comfortable to them) or if they are finally tired of it they work on themselves to see different perspectives and really asses their core values and work ethically to make conscious decisions to improve their actions and behavior patterns.
A lot of them improve themselves, but then when they get hurt, they revert back to their old behavior patterns because they feel like they’re doing it for nothing but what they don’t realize is the Karma effect only attracts that negative energy right back into their life. If they instead reduce engagement with that situation and move on without the anger and bitterness, because they know that person is going to be doing the same thing over and over again then they will leave room to meet somebody that thinks the way that they now think. it’s a very long process it could take up to 5 or 6 years to completely understand everything throughly.
You know that you figured it out once you’re not even attracted to what you once were attracted it.
Some need confirmation they need to know that the person is an insecure type. Once they know that someone is insecure then the person working on themselves can consider that as a casual person not an exclusive person and it is truly a blessing not to waste time, energy, and emotions on someone who is not on your same level.
I know I'm Trauma-Bonded. I have been backwards and forwards with my Narcissist for 6Yrs, and I've had enough. I'm facing my truth as I can't live like this anymore. I came to the painful decision to block him last night and keep him blocked. NO MRE I keep saying to myself. I'm going to do the best I can to recover and heal. I know it'll take time but I know one day I'll get there. 🍒
Dr. Romani it was great to hear you say in the beginning they choose you because your attractive. This makes sense. This statement alone gave me so much self confidence
I find people get very confused between emotion and a conscience. Psycopaths are not emotionless, but they do lack a conscience 'the complex of ethical and moral principles that controls or inhibits the actions or thoughts of an individual.' Psychopaths feel emotions, as do narcissists. Some narcissists have a lack of empathy and some moral deficiencies, but do not fulfill the complete criteria for psychopathy. Always good to hear Dr Ramani's explanations.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Never beg someone to stay in your life! If they want to go, open the door!
I like that part where she talks about like they’re two different type of people that might be in the same group I seen my husband help people at a restaurant pulling out chairs or carrying a baby chair whatever and then he’ll sit down and quietly talk about them behind their back right after he has helped them. I think one good way to find out who is the narcissist is by having someone that’s sincerely authentic be the leader in a room and see who tries to compete with them or to win them over because they like to win over that person so that they can find out the dirt on that person to put them downway that you can find out about a narcissist is find out what their life is on a social scale. Very rarely that I’ve ever heard make parties and like people over and help a lot on a consistent basis. I feel like they use their time more selfishly.
I profiled my ex and he checked 95% of the points of being a narcissist. Unfortunately I didn’t know this when we were married and I was reading up on on psychopaths and sociopaths but he didn’t fit the profile. Once I by chance saw a video on NPD, it was boom. That’s what I’m dealing with. Thanks God .il not crazy.
Yes the crazy word is the narcissist favorite word. Glad you see it 💕
@@SherryTomlinson-r2yThat!
What Dr.Ramani describes is exactly what happened to me at work and uni. Incompetent and unprofessional people use those tactics to confuse people around them. Usually, they have flying monkeys, the same kind of narcissists. It’s just unbelievable. How can some people live with such a manipulative and corrupt mind?
Definitely. I found her channel on yt, it was the darkest time of my life, and she had the answers to all my questions and she could give me back my self assurance.
True genius is being able to break down a very complicated subject so that most anyone can understand and then ACT on what they’ve learned. Thank you Dr. Ramani
Narcissists don't choose us, WE chose them. Because we are broken inside and this sick dynamic seems so familiar to us and feels like home. A non-traumatised person will never accept this dynamic and won't be attracted to a narcissistic dynamic.
I escaped by going to Cole’s to get something for dinner and with my sister waiting round the corner I took off. Still traumatised but so happy, a do believe god was helping me.✝️
God bless you love❤
Yep. No reciprocity, unless it’s a transaction. Took me a while to realize, there were alot of ‘normal’ things that should have been there, that were missing. So I started to check that, by comparing to him to my ‘normal’ friends. Stark difference.
Yes everything is a transactional relationship. Took me a long time to accept all that he did during the love bombing stage wasn't out of kindness but done to gain trust and control. It still hurts knowing that it wasn't real.
❤ She is my go-to whenever I have to see or speak to my narcissistic mother.
Dr. Ramani is amazing, and Joe, you bring out the BEST explanations in her. Fantastic and inspiring interview!
Thank you!
Whoa~ I feel this. I have been feeling my energy being siphoned lately. Literally 😱
Yes ma'am thats is true. The reason I stayed and allowed it was because I had a self image problem. Didn't think i was good enough or worth appropriate treatment.
I know one for 15 years and I have never seen this narcissist shed a tear!
I seldom shed tears. I really wish I could cry more easily but it's hard. I think I've conditioned myself to laugh it off or vent angrily.
Dr Ramani explains narcs so well.
At the 3:09 , Let's also not forget that to the outside world and extended family members, they hold a steady "balanced" personality around them to further gaslight you (the extended folks will unintentionally gaslight you) that they are decent people and something must be up with you, you are the problem therefore is what they may conclude!!
I love Dr. Ramani.She saved my life. I wanted to unlive. The friends. that I had enabled him.
I can unequivocally state that she saved my life.
I always enjoy listening to Dr. Ramani. So much to understand. ❤
Dr. Ramani put it all in to perspective and found so much understanding into my life from childhood and in my 30 yr marriage.
So grateful for her passionate, thoughtful, true knowledgeable hard work. Saved my life personally.
Thanks so much. I'm so sick of trying to explain these behaviors to therapist. Please please keep getting your information out there 🙏
Thank u dr Ramani, i admire your clear understanding on this topic more every day.
My experience with several N's in my life has been that their _mask_ seems to fall away at three months or so, just like clockwork. Narcs can't maintain the facade much longer than that. Also, a great point Dr. Ramani made was how does the narcissist _show up_ on _your_ best days??
or worst,
Wow. Three months is something I noticed too. Maximum. I wondered if that was common.
I’ve said this for years! It’s totally three months. Bizarre isn’t it!
Every passing moment is an opportunity to turn things around. I love this❤
I am currently in a narcissistic marriage and she is helping me to navigate through it by watching her videos.
Would love a copy of your book
Excellent vid, everything I learn about this really helps. Decades of feeling like the crazy one, so grateful to dr r, dr c and Jerry wise, helping people feel sane and supported ✌✊
💖
Thank you for educating people about narcissism. I have spoken to two different people who have mentioned a narcissist mother in law and a narcissist wife. I think more narcissists are being exposed.
The Communal Narcissist is the information that has now let me be able to sleep at night. It just nice to be able to have someone as smart as this woman put a name to the idiotic man I was dating ! Goodluck everyone, Your doing great, Lets keep learning.
Dr. Ramani is a God’s messenger, a helper sent to help people.
Thank you so much.
sometimes the angry person in the room is a beaten down spouse or victim of a covert or malignant narcissist? i am 40 years with one &
im an empath soft type or was now im so angry & trapped .. these people destry you & not every one has means to leave
thank you dr ramani i watch you all the time &
you have helped me to cope bless you 😊
Very true
Gorgeous interview!!!! And I love the good vibes between the two of you🥰😘
She’s so spot on
The great Dr. Ramani. By God what a scientist and human! A gift to Humanity indeed. What a gift her tremendously impactful work, the millions of people finding finally relief and sanity - because of a great brave spirit of a great human heart. So much love and gratitude.
Thanks!
They literally scan the room - and pick out potential prey - then they groom you - work on you - love bomb you and cleverly blast into complete oblivion what your first instinctual feelings may been.
And actually, I wasn’t at first attracted - they spotted my low self esteem - that’s like gold dust to them - and low self esteem is very easy prey - we succumb to that initial love bombing - then we work hard to keep up the pleasing - trying to make their gaslighting OK - making excuses for ghosting - cos we are grateful for their shitty breadcrumbs - until we are empty, finished - and have to suffer more watching them being so very sweet and kind and generous to everyone else out there!
Horrible- and then we have to recover - I do not see much evidence of their collapse - no ! It’s victims that collapse!
Brilliant, and thank you. Learning so much about narcissism and how to deal with them.
Just a note::STAY AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE
My Narcopath is a Professor. I am a disabled veteran. I was just convicted for Domestic Violence and I never did anything , except trying to get away..
Update:
My Narcopath just got arrested for 5 felonies.. Arrested on a college campus.
So sorry for all your difficulties and trauma. Hoping for your healing 😢😮😅
Veterans are the first to know corruption when they see it. What I hate is when they build this narrative that veteran's support wars veterans support corrupt police veterans support corrupt people in positions of power. I served for freedom and constitutional rights for everyone.
I appreciate so much Doc Ramani, I bought her last book and is great. However I suggest to listen and maybe interview Doc Peter Salerno too. He is very skilled and well formed on narcissism and cluster B personalities, he gives even a different perspective on some aspects like supposed shame of narcs, fragile ego and so on, based on scientific studies that really worth to listen.
Could you provide details on what he said about shaming and narcissism, and identify the video or book source? Also, could you kindly share the link or reference?
They don't have shame or guilt. They are not insecure deep down. They believe they are better than everyone else. If they are caught doing something bad, they are angry that they were embarrassed, but they are not sorry, do not have guilt, and are never ashamed.
Those were new points other therapists aren't saying. The narc I know fits this understanding completely.
The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism: Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Perspective of Gene - Environment Interactions
The embarrassment is not shame, it's more of being in a rage because they were caught and they feel like "how dare you put a chink in my public image! No one is supposed to know I do this when no one is watching!"
@@maureenb690they don't care enough to feel guilt either, awful people.
Wow! Dr. Ramani,
Your expertise in this area is invaluable ❤. 😊
Thank you
Great to see this interaction.
Dr. Ramani, thanks for helping me learn from being pulled into their thinking, as in the backwoods of our minds. 😮 Your generosity is beautiful.
My only child, my precious daughter, is in a relationship with a narcissist. I have been trying to rescue her from this, but to no avail. She wants to get out, but he is so controlling, she can't. She books a flight home, and he forces her to cancel it. I feel so helpless. It is driving me crazy! What can I do??😢
@@LDRevisDoes she work? YOU can book the ticket and send it to her job. It may take her having to be transparent with her direct supervisor, to ensure it gets to her. But, it'll be worth it so she can get out safely.
Dr Ramani is a blessing, I watch her speak about my life and every word she speaks is true!
Finally a podcost host that asks GOOD questions that follow the train of thought of the guest! So many popular but trashh hosts just blurt out random questions.
Thank you!
Dr. Ramini is awesome
This is absolutely brilliant! Thank you so much for this!
She's Got ghe "walking on eggshells " right . Narcissistic folk are walking around like ticking time bombs . God help humanity
Her wisdom is doing a service for so many people
Thank you ❤
Always love listening to Dr Ramani, thank you for sharing🙏🏼❣️
Excellent interview! ❤
Exactly. I can never explain why I exactly love them
Can you do a video about aggressive and demeaning behavior in a professional environment? There are lots of videos on passive aggressive but what to do with someone that’s blatantly aggressive and insulting? Only privately when no one is around.
The management in my apartment building is like that, except that they don't care if others see them. At least, other tenants. They don't want anyone from the community to see it.
Is there any help for the narcissist? What drives this behavior? I am a grandmother who is seeing these signs in my grandson. I'm heartbroken. Is there any help or hope. He is intelligent, gifted and wise beyond years. All I hear is the negative.
😢
I also think it's very important to learn about and understand the concept"Trauma bonded relationship ". Again, very thought-provoking!!!
Thank you!
lmao!!!! wow Dr. Ramani, Guess how I knew my body told me to run before I knew what "Narcissism" was? I didn't feel comfortable going number 2 with him in the house LMAO! It took me about 4 months, and I STILL turn on the water and turn on a video while I go HAHAHA!!!
What was your thinking about that made it so impossible to feel comfortable?Ex: Afraid of what might happen if you weren’t focused on him?
Thank You so much Dr. Ramani for your book it's such a Blessing
If I knew about Narcissism my life would have been different. If I knew about Narcissism my children would have been saved. If I knew about the Evilness Narcissism my pets would still be alive. If I knew about Narcissism I would have beenable to help many innocent people, pets. If I knew about Narcissism I would have at least been prepared for it. Thank you Dr. D. RAMANI
❤
Need to learn more on communal in recovery settings xx
Dr Ramani, i cant thank you enough for helping me understand what Narcicism and Narcicist are and decide to leave my r/ship bfeore i die mentally, emotionally and spiritually and ...Thank so much
Amazing interview,thank you both!! Articulate, insightful, helpful!
Joyful blessings 👍😊🙏
You are welcome and thank you, glad it was helpful!
"Because you are attractive"
Absolutely, it just wasn't talked about back then and it is so beautiful that you are having such wonderful conversations now ❤
Dr. Rameni, thanm you so much for being here - i mean on planet Earth. An amazing human being!!!!
Very interesting to listen. I never get tired. Blessings to you! ❤
Sadistic behavior is the most obvious sign of a narcissist. They will punish you. Their favorite games are push-and-pull. Passive aggressive behaviour. Withholding intimacy and wasting time. They expect you to chase them. Forgive them, and move on. Pray for them. The devil has nested in their hearts and minds. Don’t hold grudges. That is how you overcome the devil's plot against your soul. Love is the cure. ❤. God loves you because you are a beautiful soul. They chose you because the devil is jealous of you.
My mother and father were both narcissistic. Maybe that's why they couldn't stay together. I thought my mom drove him away, but I think they were like magnets that repel each other.
I learned something new -- the concept of communal narcissism!! Very though-provoking!
No empathy belittles flips everything back at me. He is always the victim. 4 years arguing flips back at me emotionally I learned to control my emotions it makes him bad. Empath vs narcissistic spiritual war. No spiritual connection for them cause they think they know everything and we can’t fix them. Cause they don’t see problem with self so we can’t help people that don’t want help. Married to one for 24 years working on way out. Thanks for sharing.
The personality style distinction is so helpful and may have saved my life.
Thank you for the inf, I just left one, I feel so feel, no more games from him, no more silence from him, would lie on top of lies and try to shut me up, it was scary and terrible. He did use me, I did give him so much of my help.
I hear the same things repeatedly being said about narcissism.
I am not a psychiatrist nor trained in the field of the mind.
I am human and I live in this world.
In my life experiences I have been placed in a spectator position and more times than not an unknowable innocent participant in soical psychopathic narratives.
Now it seems to me that it has come to this narrative at least from my world view.
The Super Structure of any society is the core relationship and reflection of the way members of that society interact as a norm with very specific narrow moral codes based on the acceptance of a picked specific personality trait that reflects the ideal submission of group identity and enforcement of that submission.
Slaver in the United States is a prime example of this.