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Shuler King - Don’t Have Kids Until You’re Ready
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2022
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My brother is 42 with no children. He said he is not responsible enough and too selfish to have kids. Appreciate his honesty!
I'm the same, same age and everything. Just don't really want them. I'm the first born of a lot of children and I've seen the chaos, and I'm not for it?, so they can blame and shame 4ever. It's not going to work on me.
And, that's an adult action! More males need to do the same. Most of them do.
People got to know what kind of person they are because you going to need a lot of patience and love for a child.
I'm 35yo female and that's exactly my reason. I wanna travel travel travel and don't want the responsibility of 'chirren'.
@@mr.blademonktravels1880 Oh Lort, you speak absolute facts!!! 💯 I love that phrase "So they can blame and shame 4ever." 👏👏👏👏👏
As a teacher, the last thing we need are more parents that are not ready to have children.
I second this. I teach SPED.
Amen 🙏🏽 I teach pre k❤
@@larrypuckett4793 I am WITH you brother Larry! The "school to prison pipeline" saying needs to be revised. School, in general, has little to nothing to do with a child going to prison.
My brother is an educator and says the same thing. Facts ❤
35 year old Certified Auntie 🙋🏻♀️
No regrets, no stress, no drama!
Me too hun
Me too❣️❣️❣️
Me too. Well 42 but 🥰
asmrmajestic3827 I'm 45 with none I'm fine and happy! I have 11 nieces & nephews though when they got on my nerves I could give them back.
@@marywilliams3520 ,exactly.
When you are single you can eat a bowl of cereal if you don't feel like cooking. When you have kids you've got to make sure that they have a balanced meal.
Facts
Having my first baby now at 32 and couldn't be happier that I waited until I was financially, mentally and spiritually secure.
Amen! My goal! I'm glad there r ppl that still agree with me. Even my parents don't understand why I hold out and I'm like yall being unstable mentally and spiritually Is the reason my life has been so difficult and why I choose to WAIT until I'm aligned and mature enough to sacrifice for the baby. I'm using all the time I have. And if I run out there's test tube babies... or adoption. I'm not bout to traumatize my kids like I was.
💯🎯
❤️
YOU my friend are goals, frfr. I’m 26 & have been married over a year & my husband & I discussed that we want a house first before we have children. If that doesn’t happen until we’re 30? Fine!!! Whose timeline am I on?!?!
Same for me M T
Taking care of a child is a job itself.😂😂
I have heard the stories.
Tryna tell ya. I’m a uncle of two. It’s a pretty chill gig😊
Say that AGAIN, Robert!!📣📢
And you don't get paid for it...
Man bro... smh
I got married 34. Had my 1st baby last year when I hit 18 years in the Army at the age of 36. Now I'm retiring and can stay home with my baby instead of deploying around the world and going to the field all the time. I wanted to wait because it meant alot for both my husband and I to be present.....
Congratulations 🎉❤
Congratulations and Thank you for your service 😊✌️🫶🖖🇨🇦
You are so right Shuler when you said, "the best situation for a child to be born in is wedlock." I totally agree with you even though I was not married when I had my two children. Children need both parents present and in the same home if possible. I worked two jobs as a single mother. It was so hard! Please listen to this man!!! If you are not ready, "don't do it!"
Thank you, Mr. King. I'm 47, divorced for 19 years, never remarried (don't want to), and about to retire from the military. No kids and proud. I want to go home to peace and quiet. I want to be that old Auntie sitting in her clean, nice quiet house.
I mean honestly u can have all that with children. I'm 33 married with 3 children. Yes they can be a hand full but at the end of the day. Once me and my wife handle all our business all day get the kids to bed. The house is clean and it's jis me and her relaxed and laid up. Talking about our day or how crazy them children are. Yes I understand where u coming from but it's not all running wild and dirty houses.
Alright Wise One!!😂🤣
th-cam.com/video/dpHHhrkM9fQ/w-d-xo.html
@@privatenineNaturalWoman Old wise one 🤣🤣🤣
Amen. I am 44, married, no kids....don't want any.
Our people just keep showing how dumb and morally bankrupt we're becoming. This is so embarrassing.
💯💯💯💯 word
Don't let these few loud and wrong people convince you that they represent all of us. Controversial statements will ALWAYS be louder and overshadow what's actually going on.
Facts. I work with several households and the ones that seem the most comfortable and confident are the ones who waited to have kids and had kids when they were more prepared. I also work with families where the parents are in their 20s and 30s and the kids are in their damn teens.
It's sad and painful to watch just how clueless some of us are and don't know enough to shut up.
OMG so dumb!! I've never heard anything so stupid
The fact that there are grown adults out here that will get offended when you tell them that you don't want kids is absolutely pathetic.
I made up my mind that when I turned 25, married or not, I was gonna have a baby. I had finished college (the 1st time) paid off my lil shotgun house, I was ready-just looking for a donor! Went to my best friends house one day, she was raising 2 on her own, one severely disabled & her son & his friends kept running in & out of the house/slamming the front door. She kept hollering STOP RUNNING IN AND OUT! I got home & said "Oh hell no!" I'm 63 now & all of the kids I've ever had have 4 legs. I shout with joy so much that I have 2 be careful when I'm in public so I don't end up getting taken in for a psych-eval.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣
I can relate!!
Like Shuler said having kids is like jumping out of a plane, there ain't no turning back.😂😂
The problem is a lot people don’t think like a lot people think it’s like jumping off the porch
This man wants his $hit together before he has chirens and he's absolutely 💯. I approve!!!
So do I.
th-cam.com/video/dpHHhrkM9fQ/w-d-xo.html
Facts, I feel him lol
Chirens!!!🤣🤣🤣
Exactly
Preach, Shuler! My husband and I were both 38 when we had our first son, and we were ready financially and emotionally. I can't express how happy we are that we waited!
Exactly! I remember at one of my old jobs I had a young woman question why I didn’t have children and tried to create excuses for me for why I didn’t have kids. I told her, “no I’m just not ready”. I was 22 at the time. I’m 29 now and still no kids. I’m a black man btw
That's the insulting part. People especially co workers, should mind their own business.
@@danabenson4125 agreed!
I agree with you Shuler 💯. I believe in marriage before kids. This world is turned upside down...
💯!
I agree with this 100 %!
Ditto. My spouse and I were 38 and 31 when we married. Neither one of us had children. Both of us were educated and financially stable when we met. We had our first child after being married for two years. We have no regrets.
That's why there's so much abortion. Everyone is sexually active before marriage. Many will not agree but it is a fact.
I feel like if I don't wish to spend my time with you as a married spouse...then why would I want to have your baby?
If I don't want you in my life like that, why would I then have a kid with you?
Her "logic" makes no sense!
As a 38 y.o. black woman with no kids & no desire to have them everybody and my mom be mad at me. It's insane.
I am also a 38 year old childfree black woman and love it! Luckily I have four younger sisters who are popping those kids out like hotcakes so there is no pressure.
👏🏾 good for you!! You made the best decision for you. That’s commendable. Barely any good men out here to have them with anyways.
@@saramatthews7159 team auntie 🥳. You ladies are the models I wish I had heard about when I was younger. I love my kids, I just shouldn’t have had any.
You did what was best for YOU. I love to hear it
@@saramatthews7159 Same, my siblings are NOT playing when it comes to baby making. Lol.
I appreciate his responsibility,it’s a sign of maturity 🙏🏽
This message needs to be on rotation. I'm happy to see there are so many people in the comments that are supportive of this message!
💯on everything, Shuler. I could say a whole lot about this, but all I’m gonna say is…
1) Everybody don’t need children
2) Everybody don’t need a platform
DIG!
Agreed to the fullest
Amen 👍🏽
💯
Facts 🙌🏾
My husband and I got married at 40 and 32, respectively. We JUST had our first baby at 37 and 45. He didn't have kids when I met him, and, to be honest... if he had, we probably would not have gone out. And it was the same from his perspective. Raising kids is rough enough without the added pressure of ALONE.
We both have 2 degrees and good jobs and it is STILL tough being parents. What's helpful though, is being stable and gainfully employed. Our baby girl is already way ahead of where we started out as kids.
🎉congrats! Love it.
👍🏾
Congrats! Thanks for having the foresight and self control to do right for your children.
Happy for you ❤❤
💯
I have three sons. My 39 year old is married with two children. My 35 year old is married with two children. My youngest son is 31 years old, single and "UNCLE of the year!"
I'm 31 with 3 kids. Not married, just became single so it wasn't my ideal situation I wanted to be in. I love my children to death and wouldn't trade them in for the world, but I'm with what you said if I could've done it over I would've waited. Found that right person, got married, and doing it right. So I am going to do whatever I can to make sure my kids know it's better for them to wait to become parents. It definitely helps to wait. I may be ready in some ways to be a mother but I am not where I want to be in life. So I completely applaud that man for waiting.
Vasectomies are cheaper than child support. And unlike a kid, it's completely reversible.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Best comment... hands down!! 😄
I hate when people get mad at you not having or not wanting a kid.
They’re mad at themselves…
Not wanting kids is difficult from not being ready to have a kid.
I know. I'm 55 and never wanted children. A personal choice.
After reading y'all comments i'am glad I'am not the only one without kids at my age at 37. I still wouldn't mind being a father someday but first I got to get myself together.
You are speaking the absolute truth!!!! Please wait!!! Don’t rush into having kids before marriage. I’m so proud of my son for not having kids at the age of 29. He’s enjoying and living life to fullest!
I commend this brotha. I'm 35 with no kids and some people just make you feel like something is wrong. If more people thought like him, we'd be so much better as a community. I don't want to repeat the same mistake my parents and grandparents made
u sound like te one foe me baby girl,im 35 too with no kids on purpose.but i dont really get questioned very often about it yet.....lol
Well I'm 35 with kids but hey nothing wrong with being without them. Enjoy it hehe
I’m in my 40’s no kids and people have even go so far as to ask me can i get pregnant? Why don’t i have any then? And people would tell me thats stupid that i said i wanted to be married. Plus i said i wanted someone responsible people would say thats crazy you can have a baby. Well i just got married now not sure if we will have kids we are both ok with how our lives are he has no kids either. But i always thought it was crazy people have kids with anybody and then complain later about how sorry they are as a parent smh.
@@Candice144 facts, not often i hear this from a black female these days
Amen!! I’m in the same boat as you! ❤
Why not 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 for the man for being responsible? First we put them down for having kids and not being married; now we condemn the men who make smart decisions; and Shuler right; ain't no laying down after children; diapers, lost weekends by yourself, homework, soccer practice, basketball practice, football practice/games, parent/teacher conference, plays, it's NON-STOP, think twice
Actually, the black community doesn't shame men for having kids out of wedlock; we shame women.
@@sparklesp9304 I don't know what people you know; but the black community is starting to recognize; it takes 2 to make a baby; I think it's shameful that men like Nick Cannon and a WHOLE lot of these so-called rappers spitting out kids like they buying gold jewelry and the kids are ornaments; what happens if 2-3 children in the hospital at the same time; or important events come up: plays, tournaments, graduation: how do you decide where you're going to be? It's sickening; but as women we do need to care more about 4-5 baby daddies; because the men sure don't; that's been obvious forever; nothing wrong with having morals and being classy; having a baby don't guarantee a man; recognize
@@sparklesp9304 The Black community doesn’t shame anyone for anything, including single mothers. We are told to celebrate all types of bad decisions. Otherwise we’re called judgemental or haters.
Right ✅️ you ain't speaking nothing but the truth. Red flag? She's the red flag.
@@sparklesp9304 and that's what has led to her mindset.
As a single mom of twin sons (now 24 y.o.), I wholeheartedly agree with this message. Wait until your ready and even if you decide not to have children, that's fine! I love my sons to the ends of the universe, but I'd be lying if I said it was easy or was a good choice at 22. Kids are not a flex and aren't for everyone.
Talk Dat sis! 💯
FACTS.....WORD!!!
I totally appreciate you for teaching this to our young people. They need to hear it. They need to understand from someone with experience what it is. Having a baby is no joke, having children is no joke. Having to keep schedules and keep us with all the activities that the children are in. It takes TWO!! It takes a strong man and woman to get the work done together!! Not her by herself or him by himself!! Children need stability, love, mental health and care. Not people who want to play house!! I stand with you Shuler!! 100%
In my 40 and have no children. I’m happy with it. I need that nap after work 😂
I'm right there with you. I'll be 40 in January, never married so didn't have children, I was an Aunt at the age of 10, I changed diapers for my neices and nephew, saw how hard my sister struggled at 16 with a new born, I opted out LONG ago, and I'm happy with my damn dog 👍😂😂😂😂
AMEN sisters!!! I'm 61 and don't have any children. Never married and ain't a damn thing wrong with me. I'm happy with my nieces and nephews. I'm stable in life physically, spiritually, socially, emotionally and financially and still waiting on more blessings from God.❤️👍🏾
@@barbarawilliams5130 I spoil them and return to sender. I’ve been called selfish too many times to count for not having my own. 🤷♀️
@@k.murphy It’s not for all of us, some people stay in denial and give in to pressure. I bet that dog is living the life 😁😁. I have one too, I created a spoiled diva
Exactly 👍👍
We need more men like him. Period. My husband was 32 years old before we had our first child, after 4 years of marriage. Our oldest is 28 and we are still together.
What does y'all being still together have to do with anything
@@scorpiocara6798Thats EVERYTHING and that you dont know that speaks volumes about YOUR GHETTO, TRIFLING mentality….🤦🏾♀️
@@sherryda2018bb where's your comment at that you deleted post it back 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Thought so, sound like a pile of hot shit
ikr
@@scorpiocara6798 Kids are stressors when you aren't ready.
Being a parent and raising a child is a journey in itself....a long long journey .
I think some people forget that babies/kids grow up. You’re actually raising an adult from day one. Definitely wait until you’re ready.
Keep telling the truth! Too many grandmothers raising grandchildren that their immature children were not ready to nurture.😢
& they shouldn't even have to do that. Hell some of those grandkids become bad as hell JUST BECAUSE their PARENTS abandoned them. It's truly a thankless job cause those kids are still pining for their parents' affection & could gad about a gma or pawpaw's sacrifices [raising them].
Im a product of that. Very true
Sadly, I see it everyday. Parents are right there and grandparents having to still take care of their grown selves, too. If you couldn't properly take care of yourself, then you definitely shouldn't had kids.
It’s like some people sit down and say to themselves what’s the stupidest thing I can say on camera.
Thats the 98% of tiktok, Twitter, and Instagram.
😂😂😂
And then they actually DO IT! 😳. So sad.
😁😁
I'm 47-year-old married woman with no kids. My husband and I talked and agreed not to have kids before we got married. Happily married for 21 years.
Damn I know yal got all kinds of extra money to spend😂. Your ass probably on a trip rn
And even if you and your husband decide not to have any, you'll still be just fine. Especially in this day and age. I'm 58, and my husband and I of 37 years made a conscious decision very early on in our marriage that we would probably only have one, and that's exactly what we did. Our son is now 33, married for 8 years and just gave us a beautiful gran-daughter. I couldn't be more happier, but even with her, it's a lot. We get to spend time with her once a month, and by the time that tiny, busy chic goes home, we're BEAT!...lol, so young people, listen to Shuler. He is telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Thanks, Unc we appreciate the word. Our community needs to hear whats real instead of following what they think is just "cool."
You know it's serious when Shuler make a 10 minute video about this.
Yes but he was raised by a great man. He was in the newspapers and all about all he'd done for his community and family. He loved him dearly until his last breath so I think he takes raising and having children to heart❤❤❤❤❤and his mom was a teacher. He was raised by 2 upright responsible and loving people❤
Michael Jackson said “ don’t have the baby if u can’t feed the baby “💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💯
PREACH…you AND MJ👏🏽😂❣️
You wanna be startin somethin
I knew from a young age...VERY YOUNG, that CHILDREN ARE NOT FOR ME. I've done almost everything to make sure I don't have them.I was a handful growing up. I'm a firm believer that your children are a replica of you.
PLUS I love the fact I can get up and go without packing a "diaper bag",
“You not coming home and laying down!” 😂😂 Shuler preaching!! I’m so glad I am waiting for the right time despite the heavy judgement from peers/family at 31! 🎉💜🙌🏽
I'm 38 and just had my first child.....I waited until I finished school, had a great job, bought a house and met a man who was worth having a child with. Ain't no accidents around here!!
For the simple fact people say the want kids instead of a family says it all about the world nowadays.
You ain't lying.
I want a family 💯 but men don't want to commit these days unless you are a hoe so what other options are there?. Both my parents are still together, raised me right but I am unable to find a good man with morals and standards like mine. All I met are the liars, cheaters, emotionally unavailable ones and I'll be damed if I chose one of them to have children with
💯
🗣🗣
My youngest son is 30 years old, dosen't have any kids, dosen't want any. Now if this guy on this podcast would have said he had 10 kids and not married she would have doged him out. I think he shows great maturity not wanting to make babies all over the place he said "he was being responsible". I applaud you.
Great advice. It's these kind of frank discussions that will impact our community for the better. Good job, Shuler.
"You can jump with or without the parachute, but you can't get back on the plane" truest words ever said beautifully 👌🏾 I love you Shuler, not only are you funny, you are full of wisdom and I'm here for it 😁😂👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I remember a few women question me on why I don't have any children. At the time, I wasn't ready either, but most importantly I didn't want just any woman to have my children. These ladies made every excuse to tell a man (ie: you gay, you scare of coochie, you got a small one, you lame in bed, ect). But when I asked them why they don't have children, they all had the same response "I can't find a good man to have them with"....except for one, she already had kids and didn't want anymore, but was looking for a "father-figure" for her kids. 😮💨
Anyway, long story short and many years later, I held on to my values, found a great woman who is now my wife, and we have 3 children. No need to rush having babies with just anyone.
I bet you those are some beautiful babies!🥰
@@mamakarin8592 They are and thank you 😊 🙏🏾
Amen ! Respect to you ❤
People should not ask anyone why they don’t have children. It’s none of their of business.
@@karynmitchell2509 For real. Plus it doesn't make any sense.
If people don't want children, it's their business. Not all of us will make good parents anyway. Respect people's lives🙏🏽🙏🏽
Laugh when it's FUNNY....this is SERIOUS!!!
GOOD, SOLID ADVICE.
I'm 37, married, with no kids and we're both fine with that. We're both still selfish kids ourselves with him being 42 going on 10. And we're happy 😊
Finally! Someone said it... I'm 30 and my fiance and I don't want kids and people try to convince us otherwise...but I think we'll be perfectly happy❤️
Married since 1994 AND WE ARE GOOOOOD-T😆 We started our adulthood in Southern California and 4 years in we looked at the weekly daycare prices…we just kept taking ourselves to Knott’s Berry Farm, Disneyland, and everywhere else👍🏽👏🏽
@@bossychick1234567890 I don't know you, but yet I have respect for you because you know what you want and you're not letting anyone convince you to do what they want you to do.
I never had the desire to have children, but for years I wanted to be married. But now, I've been by myself for soooo long, I no longer desire to be married. And there's always someone trying to convince me that I should get married. I just ignore them and live my life and not their lives!!!
When I tell you I had that exact convo with my therapist. I can't have kids. I still act like one my dayum self. Lol.
@Unknown Unknown Thank You so much for saying that!🤗 I sometimes feel so alone on this debate.
Husband and I were married for about 13 years had our only child at 38 and 39. She's 21 now. We enjoyed raising her, because we took our time enjoying ourselves.
That's y'all perspective. I on the other hand would not enjoy raising kids off into my 40s and 50s late 30s basically 40.
No thank you
That's how it should be! I'm sure y'all were able to prioritize her & her needs better by going that route too. Besides parenting is a lifetime job, it don't just stop at 18.
@rayaee Thank God for people with common sense like you. 👍 Parenting is never done. Ever. Its a lifetime commitment with different twists and turns. People don't get their shit mostly together until 25+ anyway.
Exactly 💯 I'm 21 as well no kids until I'm in my 30s to 40s. I'm pretty much a kid myself. 🤣Thank God people like you exist.
That's awesome ❣️❣️❣️
💯 I’m with you Shuler.
36 No kids!No drama!Living my best life!..Shout out to my momma for the values & standards she instilled in me at a young age.Her words "Bring a baby in my home & see what happens"😂
She said it so confidently, too! Like it made sense! 🤦🏽♀️
Right! These days people only understand having a child. Nothing about raising, caring, feeding and educating the child.
I know as if he should already have children. She is not going to support the child, raise the child, spend quality time and provide anything. She is just talking. smh
That part😅🤣....like she just made a real profound PSA statement that was all the way true...smh. It's the misinformed degeneracy for me.
Kids are a LOT. I don’t understand anyone who chooses this life without a spouse and other support systems in place. Kudos to this brother for taking it seriously.
Proud of you Shuler! You are being a good steward with your platform! Proud of you!👏🏾💙
I’m proud of him as well! It takes courage to tell the truth!! And we all know sometime the Truth hurts!!
This is probably one of the realest videos you’ve ever done and I love it!! I’m 40 years old now but a few years ago I saw in a chat where someone said if a man is 35 and over, has never been married, and doesn’t have children that’s a red flag. I was flabbergasted lol. Here I was going through life trying to make best decisions for my unborn children by making sure they are born into the most stable environment I could solidify and I was being deemed a threat by the opposite sex! Lol WTW!
I applaud any man who has the discipline to know what he wants or doesn't want as it pertains to children. My brother is 50 and knew when he was a teenager that he didn't want to have children, and he doesn't have a single one. And there is NOTHING wrong with him.
I'm 45 merchant sailor never married no kids... that's a choice.. for people if they.. want kids ..many blessings to those to who do
Mine did the same thing, and he is 59......He was able to have them, but like me , it's too much happening in this world. I didn't want to bring a child into this world without it having reliable parents who BOTH went into it wanting the child, and being financially, mentally prepared to commit to an 18+ years long comittment.
I’m 41 and no children. Finishing grad school in a few weeks. Doing other things until God bless me with a child. All women do not have to have children nor want children. I know married couples who do not want children. I know men my age and older who do not have children. We all don’t want the same things. I have eight wonderful nephews and one niece. ❤
Amen and Amen 🙏 🙌 I turned 41 this year. I'm child free and celebrated my 20 year anniversary as a nurse this past October. Shuler said it just right!! Yesterday I came home from work tired as a dog. I literally slept for 10 hours! I couldn't sleep like that if I had a child!! Noway and no how!!
@@indiajones750 congrats on your longevity in nursing. Wishing you many more anniversaries.
Do you know how many people are looking for other childfree people??? Damn near hard to find!!! Very proud of him for not just replicating himself for the hell of it!!!
When I was 23 a family friend introduced me to her co-worker. We hung out for awhile but nothing ever became of it. When asked why I was not interested, I explained that I enjoyed my freedom.
I'm 40 single female with no kids And don't want any !!! Everything you said is the truth !!!
Age won't mentor your kids but your readiness and maturity.
No lie.
Very true. . .
You can say that again.👏👏
100 percent, right. Our people need to accept this. It is wisdom, personified.
I’m 44 married 19 yrs and we have our only child, which is 4 yrs old. I had her when I was forty , and my hsband was 44. There isn’t any other baby mothers, or fathers. I respect his honesty . I grew up in the projects, chased my drug dealers, older men etc. I did not want to be no one statistic. Graduated and have two degrees, and overseas now in Japan. Something is going on with her as a person.
Bringing a child(ren) into the world that you can't provide for financially, emotionally and be a physical presence in their lives is "CHILD ABUSE"!!
Exactly
Agreed!!!!
I agree 😢I experienced this it was traumatizing
That title says it all. I'm telling you. Ten seconds of pleasure can mean a lifetime of worry and responsibility.
'You wanna jump with or without the parachute?" Brilliant!
Shuler you are so right! I had a child at 28, and struggled to raise him the entire time. On top of that, he had a disability, that I had to manage on my own. I tell every young person, don't even have sex unless you're married. If you just have to do it, protect yourself, because single parenting is rough. I don't wish it on my worst enemy. Then, raising kids is one thing, but great successful kids is a whole lot of work. In the words of daddy Joe, "Don't do it!"
I had a son at (25) and no more kids. I'm now (53) and enjoying my granddaughter like she's mine but can always send her back home when I get tired...Kids are a MAJOR responsibility.💯😉
I’m 36 yo, unmarried, I work hard and travel often. I’m a great aunt and am in no rush to have children. And when I do, I want to have them with a man who doesn’t have any either. Even more specifically, with my HUSBAND!
th-cam.com/video/dpHHhrkM9fQ/w-d-xo.html
Exactly!! Keep that mentality!!! 👏
I'm 51 never married, no kids To this day people ask, wonder, give side eyes looks when I say I'm not getting married, especially in my family. Their feeling would be hurt if I told them, they were the reason I dont want kids or marriage, since they weren't good examples of either.
I agree 💯!!!!! I was that teen parent and like he said, my boys are THEEEE ABSOLUTE BEST things to EVER happen to my life BUT if I had to do it all over again I would've waited until I was more stable in life. Thankfully I had a wonderful village and my boys are now successful young men but because they saw my struggles as a single mother they all say they're not going to have children before marriage and I couldn't be more proud of them for that.
as a daycare worker i can confirm this, taking care of kids is a huge responsibility 👌🏽
I’m 32 and started feeling depressed about being unmarried without kids as a woman then I had to ask myself if I’m chasing it because that is what’s deemed “normal” or do I actually want it…. Once I realized that I enjoy being free and “selfish” right now I snapped out of it, by the Grace of God it’ll happen at its appointed time.
I agree. Then all those kevin Samuel vids came out adding doubt into my mind as if i was doing something wrong. I have 12 niece and nephews and i have 2 of them with me all the time to help their PARENTS out lol. We all good. Some of us blk women just dnt want kids. And that's ok.
Amen, and amen.
that's on period, it's such a trend to operate outside of God's will but there is nothing better than HIS grace, peace and protection
@@lyrikalremedy2387 It sure is !!! 🎄
43 and free!
Amen Brother Wisdom at it’s finest
Shuler!! Thank you so much for your realness in this situation (and period). I was raised by a single mother and I suffered from it. We need to stop trying to normalize single parent households in our community. That sh:t is HARDT. PERIOD. And kids are better off with both parents in the home. That’s just the truth.
I don’t have kids..42. I just couldn’t see me raising a child in this world and I’m still trying to figure this thing called life MY DAM SELF🤷🏽♀️
I applaud those that do💖💖
Great advice Shuler King! We need more voices in the black community with courage to speak up again toxic mindsets and to give sound advice to young people.
This video needs to go VIRAL!! He spitting straight facts!! 🗣
Yes!!!!!...straight facts!
Just had this conversation with an older sister today. Her son is 40 and knows he's not ready for children. I said it's good he is aware because it would only hurt the child if he had one.
100% Real talk. That plane analogy just put things into perspective. Makes you laugh and think twice at the same time.
For real they know they are not ready, what's wrong with that???
Some of these children were dropped on their heads too many times.
You’re 💯 right! We need to reframe the conversation to why are so many of our people having children they can’t afford to raise OR if you’re not mentally or mature enough to have them. Most of these kids run around like untrained pets.
@mzchocolatedoll, exactly! What also gets me is that with all the struggle, depression, etc. they’ve experienced growing up, why then bring another child into the world that will experience the same or worse…and so the cycle repeats.
Yes, say it like you meant to say it WILD ASS LIL ANIMALS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO HOMETRAINING....I MEAN NONE! If you are young, foolish, immature, broke, uneducated and most importantly unwilling to listen or learn YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS THINKING ABOUT HAVING KIDS! Matter of fact don't even get a dog if you have display any of the aforementioned attributes. You are just making your life harder & ruining the kids life in the process
Yes Exactly 💯
@@dres3280 👏👏👏 Amen! It becomes a cycle in our communities.
I am 60 years old. Married. Never had kids. No regrets!! No debts!! Love my kid free life!!!
I do not want kids until I am married. To meet a guy with no kids is something I find refreshing. I want to bring kids into the world the right way and when I am ready. It is called being responsible.
I'm in my 40's and don't have a child because I'm not married yet. It's so much work! I have so much freedom and can go anywhere I want because I'm not worried about feeding another mouth!
First comes love, then comes marriage
Then comes baby and a baby carriage!
Well said. I agree 100%. Our young people need to learn and listen for real life lessons it will save your future. Well done Mr. Shuler King.
Thank you Shuler!! Unfortunately I had some bad ass advice when I was young from a “friend”. Family was no better, they told me at 15 I would have a baby. I waited a few yrs 🤦🏾♀️ but still wish I knew better and seen better. As a single mom, I can say that anyone man or woman who does NOT want to have kids and takes the actions to prevent it is smarter than most that don’t. Including me
I'm 48 with no kids, been married once(never again), and am very happy being the auntie. Kids are a job and deserve love and attention, this man saying he's too selfish and there is nothing wrong with waiting.
People seriously don't know that having kids is a responsibility. Plus, I grew up with the notion of being married FIRST before having children... 🙏🏾
Exactly 💯
Thank you, Shuler, for speaking truth.
Agreed Shuler, I was a single parent and it was hard as hell! But God saw me through!!! You said that right…. It’s a poison that has been forced since slavery… stay WOKE!!!
This guy is adult enough to know that having children is a big responsibility - it ain't for the faint at heart. I applaud him for his honesty.
I'm 39 served in the Air Force divorced and have no kids. God made my life this way and I feel blessed
Thank you for speaking the truth.
Shuler you are absolutely right with this message. I was raised by a single mother until my stepfather came along around jr. high. So I definitely know the struggles of raising a child with only one parent. I hope this message reaches millions of views. It was funny but REAL.