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Shuler King - Peace Comes In Different Ways
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2022
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Back when my wife was my gf, she moved in with me. I would work, and she assumed the position of the homemaker. I never needed anybody to do that, but with that said, that level of cooperation makes life exponentially easier. And it is also worth mentioning that the traditional dynamic shows that both parties are contributing to the relationship in some way.
All things being relative, my aim as the patriarch is to make sure my wife at least has a choice. And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she always has a choice. Because of that, she reciprocates in a way that compliments my contribution to our relationship.12 years and 1 kid later, life is still peaceful. And we didn't have to be "rich" to achieve it. Love and cooperation will get you everywhere.
Well said!
Amen.
💯
Exactly! Some ppl make things look too hard. A relationship is better when two ppl work to make it better
💯
Me and my late wife🙏 shared all the house work. It takes a team to achieve peace in the household. These grown chillren lazy as hell!
Are you married 🥰
@@gwendolynpatrick6539 they lazy, because you don't teach them to be responsible 😂🤣
@@gwendolynpatrick6539 widowed
Truth be told. Marriage is a two way street! Its 50-50 not 80-20! Realtalk! Teamwork makes the dream work!
@@terrytaylor1928 strive for 100/100 . Then you are both giving your best.
My parents have been together for 40yrs+ and my father helped out doing all sorts! Mom did most of cooking and she worked long hours just like dad did so they took turns..till this day they still do it...sometimes they call each other to make sure the other one doesn't cook because they bought something nice! Marriage is about working together and being united! 🥂🥰
Marriage is a partnership working together to make life easier and spending our lives together for a happy future down the road. "GOLDEN YEARS"🥰😍🤩
No one said the man can't help....if you don't work then what are we saying 😂😂😂😂😂
Sho'nuff!
Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Shuler King talks with a lot sense and wisdom. I wish him the best with his career and his podcast.
My Husband hired someone to clean our home but I cook. It is a lifesaver. We are an older couple and reevaluated our needs. We have more time to do things together and with family. I'm reserving my energy and helping sustain someone's business.
I thank you and your husband for all that you do. You’re appreciated and loved to the MAX❤
Yep! There is nothing wrong with hired help. The black community tends to look at things like that from only one perspective and not look at the whole picture.
Exactly! ❤️
Absolutely. I ran a business, and I hired a cleaning crew. Best decision ever! It freed up my time to spend with my family, community, and church activities.
Same with my parents. 40 years married they have a maid to clean and my dad pays for a lawn crew. No woman want to stay cleaning everyday in their 50s . Once they became empty nesters, they didn't have the kids in the house to help keep clean.
“Marriage is a responsibility” is some of the truest words that have ever been spoken 👏🏽🙌🏽
Shuler bucking them eyes 👀 is killing me!! 😂
❤
Yep!
Your right, some women are just nasty. Some just don't clean up. I told my son if that house is nasty that body is just as nasty.
@@jewelwhite2832 I'm still trying to understand why some of you are attacking at women for this video. A Black man made a statement about what he wants to do for his queen out of love and isn't afraid to say it out loud. So because you're a fan of Shulerking who's telling you he doesn't make that kinda money want be doing this for his wife. You decide to join in with something negative verses hearing a man who cares what his woman has to go through. Damn, talk about speaking against yourself as a woman. 🤔🤔🤔🤦🏽🤷🏽You go girl oh I'm sorry STRONG BLACK WOMAN.💯
They don't call it marriage, they call it RESPONSIBILITY 💯😫😭🤣
Lol that’s what it really should be called foreal foreal. I don’t wanna marry you, I want to have a responsibility with you! PeriodT!
@@chazieo That Part 😫🤣
@@chazieoi mean fr!!!"
Shuler I have never heard anyone speak this plainly and true regarding marriage and relationships I was all in Take a bow Shuler job well done 💯💯💯💯💯🙏
❤
"Gas is $17,000 on teaspoon."
*😆 That Line Got Me.*
😄😄😄
Same here. Lol!
Yup! 🤣🤣🤣
😂🤣😂🤣🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
😳🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂bro, nobody WANTS to do domestic chores. NOBODY. You do it because it needs to be done, not bc you WANT to do it. So, if someone can afford to outsource it, please believe they will.
💯😂
BM typically can't afford the luxuries that this man is talking about. Don't get mad at him, just level up.
AMEN!!! 👍💪
@KP Most ppl can't afford those luxuries that man is talking about, and never will. Level up my ass😆
@@chrissimao14 Level Up sir. Even if most people can't afford it, it doesn't mean you can't progress to it. And certainly don't hate on the women that have men who can afford it or prioritize those luxuries in their budget for their woman's peace. If you can't be about that life, don't talk against it and those benefiting from it. Level Up.😆
You better preach Shuler!!! My husband n I share duties. The only thing my husband don't do is cook but its okay because I got it. I don't expect him 2 do EVERYTHING n vice versa. We flow well together. "To whom much is given, much is expected"... Amen
I love this man's wisdom! He has this old school spirit and mind that makes him so mature
I'm a married man. I wash my own clothes, I cook, I clean. My momma always taught me to do for self !!!!!!
Amen to that..not just for your husband-but foremost for yourself
As long as you do it for the kids too!
@@sparklesp9304 I won't even dignify this silly statement w/a reply
This is key!
U trippin bruhh u sound like u wear the skirt in ur relationship
Peace is whatever works for yalls household.
🎯
I agree. My husband works really hard, and I can do all of the domestic work better than professionals, but he rather pay for help so we can spend his limited time together.
Every year I give myself a Christmas gift. In 2009, in my 40s, I gave myself Merry Maids, $120, once or twice per month (I can't remember which), 2 hours each visit. I chose for them to do all floors (vacuum, mop) and total cleaning of both bathrooms. It was glorious. It was a small order but it was glorious to ME! I loved it. I'm trying to get back to that financially and I will.
Coming from some one that has been married for 24 years at the beginning of our marriage we had a problem because he came from a household that his mother did everything and he felt he was not supposed to split the chores and things it took years for us to finally get it together and work together
As a wife, if the woman is also working 40+ hours a week, either she needs to learn to meal prep (aka eating left overs) or both husband and wife need to split the chores and cooking. Most men cannot afford to be the breadwinner but men need to realize that wives are not maids. Especially if kids come into the picture. Hiring help sometimes isn’t a bad thing if and when you can afford it. But yes, it’s a two way street and both partners need to do their part and men need to understand that women cannot carry the load of home while also having to work and do most of the child rearing. It’s exhausting. Help her help you!
I don't think you realize how unfair that kind of sounds because you work 40 hours a week you have to split cooking and cleaning because if I say a man working 40 hours a week and someone breaks into your house then you should be able to go downstairs and see what's going on not him
@@trublacking8572 Damn how often do he hear a sound???? Everyday. Must be exhausting. Wife ask can you help me some I'm also tired after work and children, he says I did help when I went downstairs last month when I heard a sound. 🙄🤣😂
@@trublacking8572 Um, sir. How many times is that going to happen and how much effort does that man expend in the rare likelihood that that will EVER happen? As a man, it's YOUR biblical responsibility to take care of your wife, meaning doing WHATEVER is required to make sure that she's not exhausted and at her best. I don't know what kind of word salad that was, but you KNOW better as what you typed didn't even make sense. A man's FIRST responsibility is to care for his wife and ensure that she is not worse off for being with him, meaning you are to do WHATEVER it takes to make sure she's not worn out, and exhausted.
@@trublacking8572 All I can do is pray for you, because your mind is all messed up if you think what you said makes a lick of sense
@@trublacking8572 y’all love this stupid male protection analogy. It’s such a base low level talking point. Which man really is going to dispute his role of protecting or try to make that mutable in order to attempt to prove a point. It’s such a nonsense “defense” it’s laughable. This is why women need to stay single, cuz weak minded men like this are rampant out here
I have 5 kids I cook and clean...if he was to hire someone to just take 1 of those tasks away from me . I would definitely be more upbeat and happier
Shuler wants you to struggle.
That’s my line of thinking too! I totally agree @lora beck.
When you only had 0-2 kids do you think you needed someone to take one of those tasks from you?
@@yasmeen7875 how so?
I'm sure you would but marriage is about duty and family... not what makes us happy. He shouldn't work more and pay for you to do less in your house to be happier. That's like saying you should clean other people's or get a part-time job doing anything so he can work less and be happier. I'm sure he would be happier if he worked less and got to spend more time at home...
LOVE THIS!! Choir sing. Somebody pass the plate. Brother you said and and we ALL needed to hear this!!!!! God Bless you!
I have to say that this young man is right. We hired cleaners to come every two weeks and my wife has been on cloud nine. Things have changed and women in the workplace is common, as we all know. We can’t expect women to work 40+ hours a week, raise the kids, cook, clean, and everything else. It’s not fair. Shout to the young king.
A husband should help his wife with the children and around the house.
Thank you for loving your wife abs family like this . Just beautiful 💯💙
No she raise the kids until grade school, that's her only job... she doesn't work during that period
When you realize Shuler is anointed to push back darkness on the earth. Tell it Shuler... God bless you & your family!
So True
Word of the day...RESPONSIBILITY!!
As a wife who is a homemaker...I hate cooking and I'd love to have a chef at least to teach me more lol but I love cleaning my house. Even after a really tough day my husband and our family thrive in a clean, cozy 🏡❤️
That means the world to me.
Spoken like a TRUE adult MAN❣️💯
😂😂😂
Shuler you have me rolling when you said gas is $17k a teaspoon. I spit my red bull out laughing so hard. 😂😂😂 All jokes aside you said a mighty word with this video. 💯💯💯
Please continue to spit that Red Bull out. It’s not good for you. Take L-Carnitine instead. Read about it.
Please stop drinking red bull...it's the worse energy drink. Stay away from high fructose, aspartame and sucralose in all products. Stevia based foods are much better. It's a natural sugar from the Stevia plant. I drink Zevia energy drinks...not judging just helping.
I lmao'd myself while driving. 🤣🤣
That took me CLEAN OUT! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 He tells NO LIES!!
I used to love cooking and cleaning for my late husband. I still cook and clean of course, but cooking just ain’t the same now that he’s gone. I cook to stay alive now. I cooked for him with love.
The only thing I have to say is, if a man that I'm with doing what ever he can do to make me happy I want to do what ever I can do to make him happy back!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
It’s not a man’s job to make you happy.
Cap
@@themusai550😑😑😑...., I know good and damn well that I shouldn't respond to you but I'm going to respond anyway, I don't know if you need glasses are a pair of new ones are you might be bitter are you just can't comprehend, theres nowhere in my comment that say that "it's a man job to make a woman happy" this is my last time responding to you, smh 🤦🏽
Boom 💥
Everyone doesn't clean and cook to everyone's liking.
I learned to cook and clean at 8 years old, and it taught me to be the responsible person i am today.
In my house we share the cooking and cleaning! It's called a team!
👏👏👏👏👏👏 WELL SAID SHULER! We Haven't Been Married 31 yrs. Because Of PEACE!
I know my uncle told me this. He says if you both work pay someone to clean your house and cut your grass. It saves relationships!
Wise man.
Lol. Or get a home with zero maintenance.. no yards and not old.
This is my husband in the clip and we’re pretty happy. We’re both entrepreneurs so we’re super intentional with how we spend our time. If we weren’t, we’d be terrible business owners 😂
I cook very often because I feed my family healthy food. We both clean in between the housekeepers because $1M isn’t enough to hire full time help yet 😅
Do whatever works for you in your marriage, but I know my value and what I bring to the marriage lies in more than the domestic duties I can perform.
Anything that can be outsourced is not & never will be how I am measuring my worth and I wish every woman understood that.
Put this on a billboard, sis.
Good for you. If you have to work outside the home, you don't need to work for free inside too.
This is awesome! And I saw ur husband’s comment too in support of this. Keep us in prayer girl, we just don’t understand yet.
I know that's right! I am great at multi-tasking, however, I know when to say "when"! My husband will take pride in caring for our household and we both will make things easier for each other at the same time teaching our children the lessons of balance as well. Marriage is a choice and so is peace!
Sis, those of us who get it, get it. Congrats to you both. It's really just a small lesson on Opportunity Costs that the black family doesn't seem to get yet. But they don't have to. Long live you and your beautiful family.
There's nothing wrong with cooking and cleaning for your family. It goes both ways and we will both be taking care of the house chores as we're both outside working & paying the bills together
😂They Just Making Easy For The Clean up Woman!!!...😂❤❤❤❤
Both people need to contribute to the home. Raising the kids is a huge task and it takes two people. Make her life easier and help her out by also cooking and cleaning.
Those children will pitch in as well.... Train them Up....
Everything in the house is automatic today, dishwasher, washing machine,etc. Stop being lazy and raise the kids. Modern women want men to provide, protect, DUI house maintenance, mow the lawn, shovel the snow, fix the car. Then come inside and do her job as well because in her head that makes it equal. That’s why more and more men are finding wives overseas.
@@keishag8028 yes they will!
@@A-Thomas things aren’t automatic, you have to still make the effort to wash the clothes and dishes, raising kids is apart of it. More women are realizing they need a partner not a financial dictator. Men that marry women from other countries purely for subservience are creepy as fuck and are the groomers. It isn’t lazy to be overwhelmed and it isn’t lazy to know your worth. YOU will never find someone who really loves you. With that mindset.
@@A-Thomas first of all, since all those appliances make housework so easy, you should have no problem also using them yourself.
Second, what woman expects a man to do household maintenance, yard work, and auto repair? Most men outsource at least two of the three, which is yet another reason why there is zero excuse for men to not help clean the house *that they live in* .
We had nanny's for the 1st year of my girls lives! It really makes a difference. I also have housekeepers that come every other week and I work from home. If you can afford to outsource some of those things your life will be easier! There's no need in working outside of the house and come home & work too! Damn all of that!
You're exactly right. I outsource the lawn care and have a housekeeper come every other week. If I can afford to make my life easier, I will do it.
@@Footswalker1977 thats lawn care
Classic troll have a good day
Same. I'm not doing this whole double duty struggle thing that some folks romanticize.
@@mastabla3ta684 I pay upfront for the whole year, anything I think I may want him to do. When my husband was alive, we still outsourced lawn care. Gave him some time back too.
Life was easier when I was single and it was just me and my day was 100% about me and only me. Marriage/children is most definitely work and responsibility. I love my family but it's not easier. Everyday is about maintaining something.....our relationship, our children, our home, our careers.
SILLY-BILLY😁... Preach Pastor Shuler!!!🤝🏽👏🏾
Xoxo♥️💋
“Gas is $17,000 a teaspoon” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I laughed so hard and loud I almost woke my baby up 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can always depend on Shuler for my best laughs 🤣🤣🤣🤣
My husband and I have 4 children. I get my relief by training them to cook and clean since they were 4. I did more work when the kids were in training, but now we are one big team of 6. We have 3 daughters & 1 son and I set the same standards for them all just as my mother trained me and my 9 siblings. I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed some paid help over the years, but shucks I couldn’t pay them to raise my kids. That’s my responsibility that I take pride in. There were plenty of times I/ let the house work sit for a few days while my husband and I enjoyed each other. I demonstrate to my kids balance. We work hard, but we play hard. Each of them need to know how to survive with or without a parent or spouse ,,,,with or without finances. Being a mother and wife is joy not a punishment. Cleaning and cooking is such a small part of the equation.
Aside from emergencies, when someone is sharing your life, even if there is not an increase in wealth, there should at least be less stress.Less stress brings more peace.
Make your life easier by protecting your energy at all costs.
I mean everyone has to do whatever brings peace to your marriage! I have friends who have nannys, cooks, and cleaners and they have peace! I have also seen the opposite it really depends on the people! In my experience being nosy and worrying about other people relationships will get people in far more trouble!
Stability brings peace, especially financial stability.
Really! It's like having a problem with the couple dining out beside you ordering steak and lobster. Mind your own damn plate!!!!! If Roscoe can afford to hire a nanny, maid, chef, trainer, whatever for his wife, what the hell does that have to do with you?!
Peace comes with a price. In life you have to find your peace.
Well said Shuler!! 😁👏🏾Marriage is definitely a "responsibility" as well as a ministry as well, because you will constantly be on display to others on how you treat each other. You definitely have to be sure that you both are on the same wavelength.✌🏾
CHUUCH!!!
Preach brother Shuler PREACH!!!
Two things you learn as you age AND mature: 1. Money doesn't bring you peace or happiness. 2. Anything that you have to pay for with your peace is too expensive.
Why you being intellectually dishonest…no matter how much you write/say money doesn’t bring happiness or peace doesn’t make it any less true😂
@@DivestedFromBlackistann Your name makes more sense than your comment. Thanks for stopping by Mani. Please take your sh*t with you on your way out.
That really depends on how you spend it, hon.
I would agree. Money is an avenue. It just brings you more opportunities. Happiness is a choice. Hopefully the guy and his wife have chose happiness with their way.
❤❤Amen. I agree
Gas is $17,000 a teaspoon. I hollered🤣😂🤣😆😢😆
I totally agree with the man in the video. I literally was telling someone about 45 minutes ago that I am tired of working hard and want to increase my income to hire help. I work full time and on my off days I drive over 5 miles to do laundry because I don't have my own. Then I have to clean, cook and try to find time for myself. Before you know it, I'm back at work on Monday. My back hurts, I'm not sleeping well at night and I am starting to hate my job. When I get the money, I am definitely hiring help. That way I can make time for myself and do things that I want and need to do.
It’s not that easy to find good help these days! No one wants to do manual labor they want the easy life to!
You are 100% correct 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾...
This guy is married and from the looks of things online, he is able to provide financially for his wife and child through real estate investing and other avenues. I understand the thought of making her life easier so she will be peaceful to enjoy each other’s company. The older ladies were tired from domestic work and in some cases working outside the home as well. His ultimate peace has to come from Jesus though. No human being can be that because everyone has their own issues whether they are financially secure or not. As we can see from the lives of rich and famous people, they still have issues that money can’t fix.
Based on the comments, Its sad that the only value some (black) women think they have is cooking and cleaning. There are so many other ways to make someone feel special, cared for and loved outside of household chores and labor. It's ok to be tired and hire help lol I can assure you, other communities do whether there are children involved or not. We as a people are worth more than our labor. Coming from someone who has worked (military) and been a sahm. Struggling and constant ripping and running isn't the only way to live lol we deserve rest and recuperation too. We have nothing to prove to anyone. It's not a competition. Do what's best and what works for you and your family.
🎯
Yeah, these "Black people = stuggle" comments are so interesting. I want us to want more for ourselves 💕
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's not black people. It's black women and a lack of biblical honor for black women being the physically weaker sex from black men, smh. This is partly why we ended up in the US in the first place, smh.
Y'all not cooking and cleaning anyways..I don't why yu wrote this dissertation.. Most of y'all already doing the least yu can short of having someone else do it
Listen to the WISDOM of the Shuler King. He is putting it down 4 sho❤
As someone who lost his father at a young age, this type of talk is SO SO IMPORTANT. Shuler always speaks the truth, I pray his words change someone for the better. God bless 🙌 💕
Oh they are all in the comments mad at him for making common sense.
Working and supporting each other is what works. There's time for work and there's time for play.
Keep telling the truth. I agree with you 100%. May God bless you and your family.😇👌🏾
Right! I’m a small business owner and my wife is a stay at home mother. She takes my daughter to school and I take my son. She picks them up and gets them to their doctors appointments. I do all of the cooking and we both clean. We enjoy each other and time isn’t an issue. For us outside help isn’t necessary. 15 years strong and we’re loving it
Married 8 years and couldn't be happier. We ended up having to get a housekeeper because I injured my back. Our housekeeper is coming tomorrow! We made space in our budget for this luxury. Unless your housekeeper comes daily, you are still cleaning. We have peace and both clean ☺️ Now cooking, nope I got that.
Imagine if your husband says you're lazy lol. Plus yeah the cleaning is not for everyday lol... 3x a year for deep cleaning and a few times a month for cleaning and laundry.
We save that money and spend it on traveling. To each his/her own. That said, I have zero desire to come home and do nothing. Cleaning is a mostly mindless task and is rewarding with a change of mindset.
I work 60 hour weeks my husband works nearly 80. He pays someone to cook and clean. When I retire early he will still be paying someone to cook and clean, because cooking and cleaning are not our priorities. We simply don’t have time. It’s not for everyone, but if you have the means, it frees up an exponential amount of time that could be full of things more important to you. A woman who doesn’t cook and clean isn’t necessarily doing nothing with her time. My mother-in-law is a homemaker, but she doesn’t cook and clean. They have someone that cleans and prepares food for them weekly. After raising five children, she decided to donate her time to our local homeless shelter, she is also a Deaconess at her church, and she still has one child who’s paraplegic that she cares for. My father-in-law is a software engineer who works remote, and although they are both home most of the day they just don’t have the time or energy to do domestic work too. Again it’s not for everyone, some people are saving money by spreading themselves thin and some people are making money and delegating time consuming tasks to professionals. My mother always says “You can’t get a second of time wasted back, it’s useless to spend time to save money when you can spend money to save time”.
You hit the NAIL ON THE HEAD with this one!! ❤️❤️
Hell I'm single and I hire help 🤣
Gives me time and energy to focus on the business. It's my son's Senior year and anyone who's been there knows what that is. It's called delegation. And the man as a leader of the house delegates regarding traditional values. But I stopped washing my own clothes. I stopped cooking everyday and pay a chef for meal preps a few days a week. I use personal shoppers and most of the time they're free! Just go in to get your measurements taken every 3mo. Use them for my son also. It helps.
Sounds like you get tailored clothes. Good for you being able to afford that, that isn't cheap.
My marriage did make my life easier. It cut the bills in two and multiplied the income and the manpower to make the family work by two. My husband and I are the best team. We fill out each others flaws. We are never trying to wiggle out of our responsibilities or dump them on the other person.
I was looking for someone to say this. Why would anyone get married to make their life harder…we are no longer living in our grandparents era.
@@vu119 What does that mean?
So your life was harder without children?
@@vu119 OK dumba$$
That's so cool.
It's the "C'mon Silly Billy," for Me!
Preach ... Peace is Mental & Spiritual period.
So true. Preach Shuler King!
It's a partnership. We BOTH should be doing something and things to make it easier on the other
Facts 💯👍🏽👍🏽
Exactly. It never works if only one person is invested in the relationship. That goes for men and women.
If she holds you down KEEP HER AROUND!!
My grandparents stayed married for 60 years. She was the Queen of the house, I still long her baking every Sunday. She was amazing, warm, loving and my grandfather the provider. She worked inside the house, he worked outside. Nowadays, there's no homes, most of them are just structures. That's why the explosion of divorces. Money, really can't buy love or happiness.
It's the imitation of a woman speaking that has me cracking up! Shuler it's crazy how funny and accurate you are at the same time! Love it! Call it responsibility not marriage!❤️
All due respect my brother, What works for you will not work for everyone. Taking care of the children is not easy! So I agree with him when he says “make her life easy by hiring help when needed” . Not everyday but when needed. It’s not lazy to be hypergamous especially if you are a woman who has had a successful business, yet relinquish that in order to be a (Responsible parent ) for the children which is not easy. But your missing the point. And that is if both agree that this is the type of marriage they desire. Than let it be. I hire my help when I need it and I’m very grateful as well... worked hard to afford this ability to hire help which in turn supports someone’s business . 🌍🙌🏾 Thank you to the most high!
Thank you Shuler. Marriage has never been easy. It's work each and everyday. Each has a responsibility to the family and the home. There will be issues at times, and there will be peace at times, but not all the time.
To each its own whatever makes you happy and what’s suitable for your lifestyle that you can connect accordingly with each other
The truth has NEVER been spoken better than this!
This goes both ways. My husband hasn't pushed a lawn mower since 2014. He works hard/travels so when he has time at home I want him to have time with the family. Not busy with a list full of chores. I'd rather budget getting outside help so we have more family time.
2:50 "They don't even need to call it Marriage! Call it Responsibility!"
He's speaking straight facts!😁🙏
Brother you're preaching Alleluia Amen ❤
I know a man who said “I didn’t buy my wife a twenty thousand sq foot home to cook and clean. She is my wife of leisure.” And she is so deserving!!!!
Yeah, a lot of men want their wife to chill. A lot of my white friends live like that.
@@ladymsthing6056 Yep, and their women are usually better off emotionally and able to take care of their appearance physically. We put ourselves in this position by the men that we keep choosing, generation after generation, that want to act like women are physically the same as them, but then want to be "leaders". You have to pay the price to be the boss, sir. You have to earn submission by demonstrating manhood and uplifting the weaker sex in the areas of your strength with NO expectations attached. The submission comes organically when men honor women as the weaker sex. I'm speaking from experience on this too.
@@ladymsthing6056 yu don't know how yur white friends live.. Yu never lived in their house and don't know what kind of agreement they have..
Mhmm and as soon as she wears out he'll have a second and third "wife of leisure" 😏
@@sparklesp9304 a lot of those women are stressed too. Once they’re too old for that man she’s replaced for a younger version of her. She doesn’t get to make any decisions for herself either. Many of my clients are these same people. There lives are a true soap opera.
I dont want to always cook and clean. Period. I feel sorry for women, having to cook, clean do laundry take care of children and a man. If they can afford to get help with one or two task, why not. When one person is overworked and always tired they will be miserable. How can they take care of every else and make everyone good when she is miserable and overworked? If marriage means I am overworked, I will stay unmarried.
Exactly. Ontop of that she is also doing 50.50 and a provider. Not me
First of all,who says a woman should all that herself? You might be missing the point here. If your husband is making you do ALL that himself, he's doing the wrong thing.
@@user-ki1vd3ti8j maybe you're the one who missed the point of the video hence ny comment based on the video 🙄
I did it all with 3 children. My marriage was ANULE. I did it all with the Grace Of The LORD.
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE with Shuler.....tell them Shuler King!!!!!!!
Listen, I have a career. I work 2 jobs, taking care of an elderly parent. If I married a man who wanted to hire help, I would be absolutely happy with that.
On the point that money doesn't make your life easier, I just straight up disagree with that. Every time I get a boost in income, my life sure as hell gets easier. Being able to pay bills without stress is undeniably better than scrapping by.
That doesn't mean I've made money the most important thing for me or will do any and everything to get it. But I will work hard to be prosperous.
The biggest problem I see is that when you have people who have been mostly poor all their lives, they don't know what to do with a lot of money when they get it. Irresponsibility is what turns their lives upside down more than anything. But irresponsibility is what causes a lot of issues in the first place.
@Dani Tho - you said it best! Thank you!
Shuler doesn't want to work to support someone who isn't. I
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Everything you said
@@sparklesp9304 does he have kids ?? Doesn't talk like someone who does lol
Shuler spitting WISDOM!!! Making more sense than some motivational speakers and preachers I've heard.
I can see every now and again having someone to do deep cleaning or laundry or chef cooking we all want a break sometime
I like this man’s mind. You have more time to enjoy each other and focus on important things
It took me on my way to divorce court for my husband to start doing chores around the house. Now he beats me in washing dishes.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 good for you.
And that’s so sad, but it be like that
I can't do it with women these days, lol. I have a hard time believing this is real.
😂
To court over som damn chores? The f***? Welp, that’s one.
And the church said Amen!😇
Thanks King Shuler.
Amen
I honestly understand what this man is saying. I work like crazy & I'm in college work towards another degree. I'm single and I hire housework help & now grocery shoppers. It gets me through my weeks and allows me to focus on work and school. When I have kids, I will show them how to cook and clean, but it will not be all I do. My spouse and I WILL have someone else assisting. I'm not causing anyone of us 'kids-parents' to be burnt out. We will enjoy our lives. Periodt!
I forgot to say that this frees me up to do more stuff with the children, like sports, arts, culture, etc...
This was a really good video Shuler! Thank you for giving your point of view and explaining somethings.
Being burned out depends on your mental state. Some people actually enjoy working for their family and home. You can work with your family.
@@Meng776 We'll based on a training for work last Wednesday, I and many co-workers are already experiencing levels of burn out.
The only work I want to do with my family is having fun and increasing our wealth and knowledge. I'll save the extra stuff for whoever I hire.
@@veebee8990 Your choice 100%. But it's rewarding to work in the yard with your kids or the kitchen with your wife....if you think it's rewarding and see the value in it. Frankly, having your kids clean and maintain a house with you is amazing training for them.
@@Meng776 I didn't mean we won't do it at all. I'm saying I'm not making us crazy with it. They will learn how to do for the purpose of the skill, but we aren't slaving at it weekly. I take pride in working with my hands. I have friends who have their kids involved on so many extra curriculas, that they don't have time for anything else. I mean to have my kids involved as well. I'm not stressing them with work. I get what you are saying, but I'm also making a point. I will be focusing on family time. I'm not going to paying for weekly services. Every 3-4 weeks is fine and we will use that extra time to do family stuff. I like yard work actually, so I guess I don't consider that as work. But if it becomes overwhelming, then I'll hire someone to assist with some of that too. I mainly mean paying someone to give the whole house a solid once over every 3-4 weeks. I plan on using that extra time to have them learn how to work on cars, build furniture, build houses, paint, design, learn how money works, dance, grow fruits/ vegetables, pottery, martial arts, receive tutoring, etc... more practical things... Things I was taught as a child and some I wasn't. I plan to let them experience every good thing. The value of a day's hard work is included in that. I do appreciate your perspective and insight.
❤❤❤ Shuler, you are so right. Wisdom in what you are saying. As an older adult, what you said happens, and adjustments have to made along the way.
My pops and mom taught me and we grown grown. They shared all responsibilities and there was no man or woman chores etc.
Also everybody needs help. That's why it's says it takes a village. Sometime it's not about being lazy it's about being human. That's like the wife having a baby and you just saying it's her job and not really helping at all.
No life isn't easy but we can make it worthwhile and the best it can by actually helping each other. We should have peace together. We because accustomed to this idea especially as black people that if we not killing ourselves working we being lazy or wrong if we not working 24/7. That's a lie and why depression and anxiety etc is so high. Other countries understand this. They literally give more vacation and health days. Also they work less and lots only 4 days a week. The trade off is they actually are not just healthier and happier but they actually are more productive and work better.
That part!!
Thanks for proving his point. Didn't say anything about ignoring self care.
@@Lee-ed9wv Did you even read what I said. This wasn't even against Shuler it was making a point.
Second it had nothing to do with self care. Like I stated and proven they making people feel guilty especially women ashamed for needing or asking for help. That not killing yourself working means your lazy or we gotta have a struggle lifestyle. That's bs. No matter how much money you make just helping others helps ourselves. No life is not easy but why people act like if you not breaking coal 24/7 it's weak. Like I've said that's been pushed in our mind this struggle and hustle and hard knocks mentally. That doesn't do anything but literally kill us slowly.
Again being lazy and not making life an even worse death trap for no reason is two different things.
@@brandontrammel4581 did you read? Reading comprehension means understanding and using your own words.
You mentioned vacations, number of work days, anxiety, depression, health and other points. I used "self care".............. Same thing.
What you wrote was a long weasel way to excuse out of what responsibility is.
In addition he already mentioned the points of peace or self care.
Thanks for this comment. This video and these comments are interesting 😂. Nor sure why people are defensive about the idea of relieving wives of chores. Even saying it like that denotes the expectation that women have sole responsibility for maintaining the cleansing of the home. If it works for a couple they should keep doing it, but if a wife could use help, it's strange that the response is "she's lazy." I think what the original post was saying is that women have more energy to devote to their men's needs when their own needs are met. Does it go both ways? Sure...but interestingly, we never have to have conversations about whether or not a man who wants help with housework is "lazy" 🤷🏾♀️
Shuler you should have a Podcast show with theses videos!! God has given you so much Wisdom…❤
This is true! I would tune in for sure!! 🙂
⏳tick tock
I listened while watching this video.. because learning and understanding is best when you're young and wet behind the ears. Thank you Shuler
I agree!!!!! Totally Agree with Shuller why I agree simply because you want your home and your Family the way you like them or it to look. No one is going to do it better than you.
Brother I've nothing but the up most respect for you. You always keep it a 1000%. You stay telling the truth whether we want to hear it or not. Stay bless!!
Word 💯💯❗
It's utmost not up most. Remember what Schuler says about spelling.😉😉😉
"Utmost" = most extreme; greatest.
"a matter of the utmost importance"
Brothers and Sisters... Brethren and Assorted Associates of Love of all types, we are gathered today to hear and be enlightened by the words of maturity and knowledge from Shuler King. Please trust and believe this man and his observations on what it means to make a woman's life easier and better but at the same time bring your life peace and prosperity. Carry your own weight and be sure your mate is willing to carry theirs. Otherwise your relationship will be always be in a one sided and dangerous place.
I've seen too many marriages in my community (the majority) that after 30 years of the women working, raising kids, taking care of their husband's and in the end the women were so broke down, neglected and miserable in life from the hard thankless labour of being and keeping her husband due to traditional values. The end result was the husband's cheated or left because their wives were angry, bitter, tired, distressed. Even wives that had some help at home because they were better off have pased away early from stress. When they passed the husband's didn't know how to boil an egg or survive. That tells you how much these women from the older generation took on. I really don't think some men have any kind of empathy for their partners as they watch them overwork and get burnt out. I think this young man is referring to wanting his partner to be less stressed in life if he has the option to. In turn that makes her able to focus on being more present and have enough self care to be able to give to her partner and children. What is wrong with that? Must we always be toiling and never experience ease in this life as a people?
I’m glad u shared this, because I ask myself and others your question too. Several traditional wives and moms I know have passed or developed stress related health conditions. I noticed that they all took on the physical and EMOTIONAL stress of the family and even extended family. It was expected of them to do so since they didn’t have a “real job.” The husbands all thought that since they paid bills, that’s all that mattered. Cheating was ok because the money was coming in. I only heard one man regret what he did, but it was too late then, his wife had passed.
@@keishajones3830 Several stories out there that are similar. Not sure why women must 'toil' and do hard labour in marriage if her partner can and wants to give her a better life in this modern world.
First off this is 2022 not 1950, most men are taking care of other men children and I don't hear thanks. You women acting like men are oppression you. Most black marriage the few we do have in this day and age women are not broken they get the house car and kids alimony, child support. Stop with that 1960 stuff can't blame men for what happen 6o to 70 years ago.
Thank you. This is spot on. 💯. Them long back in the day marriages has long stories.
I'm with you "Shuler" ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Different strokes for different folks, it doesn't mean your lazy, everyone's life style and time table is different.
Nah sister it does mean your lazy. I’ve been to many women homes and they are lazy. Homes look like a tornado went through it.
I think he said that. Lol
Right... It's ridiculous how people try to deflect what they believe on other's JUST because they can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't work for another person. I always say whatever works for you as long as it's legal 😉 LoL
Somebody please get him his own TV show please he deserves it 💪💪💪💯💯💯
Thx for saying this Shuler. This new generation has their viewpoints and responsibilities ALL JACKED UP!! Marriage is a partnership NOT a one way retirement home for women.
Mr. Shuler spoke TRUTH
To each his own and if that's what he wants, that's what he wants. There's nothing wrong with trying to make your wife's life easier, the same way we do things that makes our husband's life easier. Extra money can do extra things. In my neighborhood, most people have housekeepers. Not because they're LAZY, but because they work, run businesses, etc and don't feel like cooking and cleaning everyday.
Hello! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Wish we could afford to bring in a house keeper here and there, but with demanding jobs, 3 kids (one of which is in college) and taking care of a parent, it’s a challenge to do so. We do what we can to keep things in order. But as you said, to each his own. Wish we could learn to mind our business.
Love is about support and elevation. Both humans must comply. It's simple.
Shuler never lies!!!
Two whom much is given much is expected!!