I had a nervous breakdown because of bullying by customers, co-workers and management when I worked at Walmart. I thought that bullying was supposed to end after high school graduation
I am so sorry to hear this. I had emotional trauma from one of the managers and some employees when I worked at Best Buy. And believe it or not, at an apartment complex. I really was damaged by it with sadness, depression and anxiety that would not go away because being in that ongoing environment does not give you a chance to heal.
@@upstatenewyork I think retail chain stores and restaurants are a toxic work environment.... especially if you are a good worker with a kind personality. I hope you have moved out of that apartment complex because you should be able to at least have peace at home
Very sorry to hear. Bullies will never go away. They are all over. 2x I had to confront bullies but both ignored them and said nothing. They shrunk back because it showed I was not afraid but I was calm and peaceful. Peace is power. This is what bullies are fighting for
As a mere regular paying customer, I am currently being unfairly targeted and bullied by a receipt checker at Walmart no less! I have been going to that store each week for groceries for the past 2 years at the exact same time on the exact same day! I told this to and complained to management about him. He then, in retaliation, had a plain-clothed security guy follow me around the store next time I went in, which of course resulted in nothing and the PC security guy even wished me a good day. But that doesn't seem to matter. Now the receipt checker is back to physical proximity intimidation tactics and hitting the security alarm when I am about to walk out of the store to check my receipt when I always have a bus to catch. The staff now treat me with suspicion bc of the lies he has spread. I live an hour away with no car and that is my closest place to shop for cheap groceries. I have to go in again tomorrow. I don't know what to do. 😢 I always have to watch my back now when I am in there. I don't know what he will pull in terms of flying monkeys or something. I just don't want to get banned for no legitimate reason at all. I don't know how, but I think he will find a way.
This is what I experience adult bullying, being excluded, gaslighting, malicious intent, silent treatment, gossiping behind my back, treated less than.
@@rubberbiscuit99- That has also happened to me with a family member- probably a Narcissist. Remember with a toxic person- do not defend, explain, engage in conflict or drama, and do not personalize. As needed set boundaries.
@@cynthiawarren9379 Yes, I have stopped all of those. It was the boundaries though that really sealed the deal. They really hate me to have boundaries, unless they can step over them for their own amusement. They will eventually find a new target.
We need to keep pushing for coercion control and bullying be made a felony in this country. I’m with everyone here, I’ve been the family scapegoat and in employment, no child or adult should be subjected to this kind of abuse.
@@alimccreery755 also using your logic, you should be made a felon for hurting my feelings when you told me I should educate myself. You certainly had no issue saying that to me, so now that you hurt my feelings from my perspective you should now spend years in prison with violent felons. Good luck! Maybe I dont know how to stand up for myself, good luck proving I'm lying in court!
@BANQUETBANDIT bullying people, calling them names and making snide remarks to people at school or work and making them miserable is not included as freedom of speech. I have always heard about freedom of speech as long as it DOESN'T hurt anybody
@@Catnip-uh5pi show me one case in America where someone got charged and or went to jail for calling someone mean words, bullying is absolutely freedom of speech, it becomes illegal when it becomes physical.
Some of the worst treatment I’ve experienced has been from “therapists and counselors”. They are regular people who got a degree to figure out your problem(s) and give advice. Without that degree they are the same as anyone. And having the degree doesn’t make them a higher quality nor higher level of person. It makes them a regular person with a degree in counseling. So what!
@@upstatenewyork the last 2 therapists I had didn't really listen to my problems. They only wanted to talk about my immediate family, my painting hobby and my favorite foods. Some help that was. I have social anxiety
Also, it doesn’t matter how good you feel about yourself or how grounded and centred you are. It is still extremely irritating when somebody is always at you with their nastiness. Sure, it’s not going to break you. But, not protecting yourself can be difficult. In a professional environment, you can’t just beat them up until they leave you alone.
So bad that this harmful and evil behaviour are supported. THOSE PEOPLE ARE SO HARMFUL BECAUSE THEIR FRIENDS SUPPORT THEM AND BE SILEND WHEN HARMFUL BEHAVIOR HAPPEND.In fact victim is blamed even if she/he fight back.Its difficulties when you are victim of bullying becuase psychopath and narcist just get obsessed with a exact human and everything that do or say is reason for hate and conflicts.THAT CAUSE DEPRESSION,TRAUMA ,PSYCHOSIS,SUICIDE,WHEN BULLIES JUST DONT CARE AND CONTINUE THEIR LIFE.
You have to set up boundaries and refuse to let them push you around. If management is complicit, when you make your complaints, be sure they are in writing, have copies, texts and emails. Unemployment is the next step. You must prove that _a reasonable person would find the work environment intolerable._ Enjoy your 6 month paid vacation at half the rate of your monthly salary. Be sure to check with your state's unemployment law to see if there are any other statutes that are provided. Example, here in Minnesota, there is a 30 day trial period. Also, Minnesota, it's a myth that if you quit your job, you cannot get unemployment. Again, proving the workplace became intolerable to a reasonable person is part of Minnesota statute. Or, you can line up your next job while currently working.
The sad fact is, it’s not the bullies that really do the damage. It’s everybody else. If a person is bullied and they try to do something about it, most of the time people will not want to get involved, not believe the victim or tell them that it’s “probably not that bad“. If everyone just said to a bully “you shouldn’t treat people like that“ and took their power away, there would be no bullies. If the bully doesn’t make a serious public display of the abuse and do it in front of people who have the personal substance to do something about it, it is considered permissible behaviour. It is very common in the workplace, for example, for a boss to focus on, constantly criticise undermine and sabotage one person in particular. But nobody speaks up. Everybody “sees nothing“. I don’t know who I hate more. The bullies or all of the weak people that enable the bully.
For all of those suffering with low self esteem...Listen closely: When you belittle another person to try to feel better, you hurt yourself twice. Your body listens to everything that comes out of your mouth. So, you re-absorb that negative energy right back in, and it reinforces the origional wound you're trying to heal. Also, the hurt of the other person goes back into your body, as well as the image of you hurting someone. Try being kind and you not only get an immediate boost, but you begin to heal the negative experience from the past that caused it in the 1st place. Positive replacement therapy is all about adding a plus, where a minus once was. The moment humanity realizes that we both gain more energy when we treat each other with respect, bullying to get "your way" will be out of business; and so won't the people who practice it. Do the math.❤😊
I need to build my backbone -that’s all there is to it I need to stand up with my sister Jane. I have to see her tomorrow for her birthday, but I don’t want to go!!!
"An attempt to counter-balance other things beyond conrol in their lives". Ummm Yeah... i work in immigrant advocacy & we brought an *assistant* refugee from Ukraine on-board...over the months he's worked meticulously to destabilize my relationship with my boss & make himself more an authoratative presence in what's happening between me & my clients. Again.. we don't have the same job title. He's the secretary. HE'S POWER HUNGRY. He's succeeding. Such a slap in the face we brought this jerk on-board out of compassion & he's RIPPING MY PROFESSIONAL REPUTATION TO SHREDS..FOR NOTHINGGGGG
Once I have self-confident Tucson Arizona people becoming bullies how they becoming hater as hell. I'm serious -_- they real cruel then play victimization like 🤪 or😵💫 or even 😑.
I blame social media influencers for a lot of this. Life used not be like this. I've even been accused of 'faking' a genetically based disability because it became fashionable on social to do this. Also to call out people using handicapped parking as not really needing it despite having handicapped parking cards with their photo on it. (I've never had one or used disability parking btw.) My "crime" was using a cane because of a multi system disability, OA and CPPD! ,
@@TheMazinoz Anyone who mistreats another person like this is pathologically insecure, and is kidding themselves. I am sorry you have dealt with people like this.
These people feel this is the way to get someone to do their bidding it’s is not it can be done right back at you till you sit down and mind your place.
I experienced early adult bullying in varsity and sadly the memory tails behind me to this day. I had been screamed at in my face and I hate that I had enough self control not to punch that person in the face. All I can control now is the decision that, that person is not my friend.
My oldest daughter is a BiG Bully 😢. She has talked smack on me for Years now,, ever since she left home . When Anybody calls her out for her BS she gets Vicious and Doubles Down on her vindictiveness and hate😢. I don't know what I did to make her feel this way towards me ,, but I sure do miss my little girl who was So Sweet & Smart & Funny 😢. We don't speak or see each other and we live in the same town ,, She won't even let me see my granddaughter who is going on 2 and I've seen her twice 😢.
Well..... this all sounds professional and positive but I gotta say It's over the top awesome when you become a bully hunter type especially when you have other coworkers from different departments for a shoulder to lean on don't worry I'll take it from here And a really firm grip on a shoulder with direct eye contact changes things and hell yes I live to piss in his Cheerios every chance I get that narcissist stays to himself now and doesn't talk a whole lot and coworkers are happy especially at company gatherings
I had a nervous breakdown because of bullying by customers, co-workers and management when I worked at Walmart. I thought that bullying was supposed to end after high school graduation
I am so sorry to hear this. I had emotional trauma from one of the managers and some employees when I worked at Best Buy. And believe it or not, at an apartment complex. I really was damaged by it with sadness, depression and anxiety that would not go away because being in that ongoing environment does not give you a chance to heal.
@@upstatenewyork I think retail chain stores and restaurants are a toxic work environment.... especially if you are a good worker with a kind personality. I hope you have moved out of that apartment complex because you should be able to at least have peace at home
So sorry to hear that. Not surprised to hear that about Walmart. That store gives off vibes that some employees are bullied.
Very sorry to hear. Bullies will never go away. They are all over. 2x I had to confront bullies but both ignored them and said nothing. They shrunk back because it showed I was not afraid but I was calm and peaceful. Peace is power. This is what bullies are fighting for
As a mere regular paying customer, I am currently being unfairly targeted and bullied by a receipt checker at Walmart no less!
I have been going to that store each week for groceries for the past 2 years at the exact same time on the exact same day! I told this to and complained to management about him. He then, in retaliation, had a plain-clothed security guy follow me around the store next time I went in, which of course resulted in nothing and the PC security guy even wished me a good day.
But that doesn't seem to matter. Now the receipt checker is back to physical proximity intimidation tactics and hitting the security alarm when I am about to walk out of the store to check my receipt when I always have a bus to catch.
The staff now treat me with suspicion bc of the lies he has spread.
I live an hour away with no car and that is my closest place to shop for cheap groceries. I have to go in again tomorrow. I don't know what to do. 😢 I always have to watch my back now when I am in there. I don't know what he will pull in terms of flying monkeys or something. I just don't want to get banned for no legitimate reason at all. I don't know how, but I think he will find a way.
This is what I experience adult bullying, being excluded, gaslighting, malicious intent, silent treatment, gossiping behind my back, treated less than.
Me too, and it is my family members doing it.
@@rubberbiscuit99- That has also happened to me with a family member- probably a Narcissist. Remember with a toxic person- do not defend, explain, engage in conflict or drama, and do not personalize. As needed set boundaries.
@@cynthiawarren9379 Yes, I have stopped all of those. It was the boundaries though that really sealed the deal. They really hate me to have boundaries, unless they can step over them for their own amusement. They will eventually find a new target.
Being treated like an object rather than a person. It's a constant for me
I confronted the bully and called out their bullying and then they avoided me which made me perfectly happy!
👍👍👍👍
A lot of bullies seem to count on their target(s) being non-confrontational.
@LisaJohnson-h1f 👏👏👏👏👏
We need to keep pushing for coercion control and bullying be made a felony in this country. I’m with everyone here, I’ve been the family scapegoat and in employment, no child or adult should be subjected to this kind of abuse.
That's not a good idea, freedom of speech is very important, it's a very slippery slope.
@@alimccreery755 touchy much? My rights don't end where your feelings begin:) I suggest educating yourself;)
@@alimccreery755 also using your logic, you should be made a felon for hurting my feelings when you told me I should educate myself. You certainly had no issue saying that to me, so now that you hurt my feelings from my perspective you should now spend years in prison with violent felons. Good luck! Maybe I dont know how to stand up for myself, good luck proving I'm lying in court!
@BANQUETBANDIT bullying people, calling them names and making snide remarks to people at school or work and making them miserable is not included as freedom of speech. I have always heard about freedom of speech as long as it DOESN'T hurt anybody
@@Catnip-uh5pi show me one case in America where someone got charged and or went to jail for calling someone mean words, bullying is absolutely freedom of speech, it becomes illegal when it becomes physical.
DEEP. .
Dont defend
Dont engage
Dont explain
Dont personalize
Thanks to Dr Ramani for THAT technique!
Excellent....exactly what I seeded
At the end of the day God is great and doesn't make mistakes and Karma strike always at the right time and is you know what .🙏🔥👍
Some of the worst treatment I’ve experienced has been from “therapists and counselors”. They are regular people who got a degree to figure out your problem(s) and give advice. Without that degree they are the same as anyone. And having the degree doesn’t make them a higher quality nor higher level of person. It makes them a regular person with a degree in counseling. So what!
Yes, very true.
@@upstatenewyork the last 2 therapists I had didn't really listen to my problems. They only wanted to talk about my immediate family, my painting hobby and my favorite foods. Some help that was. I have social anxiety
They are very dangerous.
Thanks so much for this information.
thank you for watching!
Also, it doesn’t matter how good you feel about yourself or how grounded and centred you are. It is still extremely irritating when somebody is always at you with their nastiness. Sure, it’s not going to break you. But, not protecting yourself can be difficult. In a professional environment, you can’t just beat them up until they leave you alone.
So bad that this harmful and evil behaviour are supported. THOSE PEOPLE ARE SO HARMFUL BECAUSE THEIR FRIENDS SUPPORT THEM AND BE SILEND WHEN HARMFUL BEHAVIOR HAPPEND.In fact victim is blamed even if she/he fight back.Its difficulties when you are victim of bullying becuase psychopath and narcist just get obsessed with a exact human and everything that do or say is reason for hate and conflicts.THAT CAUSE DEPRESSION,TRAUMA
,PSYCHOSIS,SUICIDE,WHEN BULLIES JUST DONT CARE AND CONTINUE THEIR LIFE.
skip to 5:57
youre welcome
Thank you.
Why is it always the victim that ends up needing the counselling. The bullies need to heal and stop bullying then we wouldn't need it
I know all about the different forms of bulling - I dont to know why people bully -I want to know how to stop it. HOW TO STOP IT?????
You have to set up boundaries and refuse to let them push you around. If management is complicit, when you make your complaints, be sure they are in writing, have copies, texts and emails. Unemployment is the next step. You must prove that _a reasonable person would find the work environment intolerable._ Enjoy your 6 month paid vacation at half the rate of your monthly salary.
Be sure to check with your state's unemployment law to see if there are any other statutes that are provided. Example, here in Minnesota, there is a 30 day trial period. Also, Minnesota, it's a myth that if you quit your job, you cannot get unemployment. Again, proving the workplace became intolerable to a reasonable person is part of Minnesota statute. Or, you can line up your next job while currently working.
The sad fact is, it’s not the bullies that really do the damage. It’s everybody else. If a person is bullied and they try to do something about it, most of the time people will not want to get involved, not believe the victim or tell them that it’s “probably not that bad“. If everyone just said to a bully “you shouldn’t treat people like that“ and took their power away, there would be no bullies.
If the bully doesn’t make a serious public display of the abuse and do it in front of people who have the personal substance to do something about it, it is considered permissible behaviour.
It is very common in the workplace, for example, for a boss to focus on, constantly criticise undermine and sabotage one person in particular. But nobody speaks up. Everybody “sees nothing“.
I don’t know who I hate more. The bullies or all of the weak people that enable the bully.
I was dealing with this for 6 years with my neighbors brought me way down but i sought out a counselor
My counselor made it even worse.
My neighbors constantly belittle me. It is terrible.
I had a seizure after dealing with this lady. Horrible. She makes restrictions and rules on the spot. Do not appreciate her approach.
For all of those suffering with low self esteem...Listen closely: When you belittle another person to try to feel better, you hurt yourself twice. Your body listens to everything that comes out of your mouth. So, you re-absorb that negative energy right back in, and it reinforces the origional wound you're trying to heal. Also, the hurt of the other person goes back into your body, as well as the image of you hurting someone. Try being kind and you not only get an immediate boost, but you begin to heal the negative experience from the past that caused it in the 1st place. Positive replacement therapy is all about adding a plus, where a minus once was. The moment humanity realizes that we both gain more energy when we treat each other with respect, bullying to get "your way" will be out of business; and so won't the people who practice it. Do the math.❤😊
This is an excellent description!
The illustrations really help too.
I need to build my backbone -that’s all there is to it I need to stand up with my sister Jane. I have to see her tomorrow for her birthday, but I don’t want to go!!!
"An attempt to counter-balance other things beyond conrol in their lives". Ummm Yeah... i work in immigrant advocacy & we brought an *assistant* refugee from Ukraine on-board...over the months he's worked meticulously to destabilize my relationship with my boss & make himself more an authoratative presence in what's happening between me & my clients. Again.. we don't have the same job title. He's the secretary. HE'S POWER HUNGRY. He's succeeding. Such a slap in the face we brought this jerk on-board out of compassion & he's RIPPING MY PROFESSIONAL REPUTATION TO SHREDS..FOR NOTHINGGGGG
I'm so sick of this 😤 I'm having episodes now!
Thankyou for explaining
To set boundaries is useless. Empowerment is just a fancy word. It does not stop the bulling -- I know all about bulling and your advice is all fluff.
Tucson Arizona people try to put me down by any means necessary. I suppose I have.
At about bullying by neighbours
Silence 😎❤
Exactly silence is golden .. don’t give a reaction
@@victoriavitoroulis3273i also hung around the bully but stayed quiet. It freaked the hell out of her.
Once I have self-confident Tucson Arizona people becoming bullies how they becoming hater as hell. I'm serious -_- they real cruel then play victimization like 🤪 or😵💫 or even 😑.
I blame social media influencers for a lot of this. Life used not be like this. I've even been accused of 'faking' a genetically based disability because it became fashionable on social to do this. Also to call out people using handicapped parking as not really needing it despite having handicapped parking cards with their photo on it. (I've never had one or used disability parking btw.) My "crime" was using a cane because of a multi system disability, OA and CPPD!
,
@@TheMazinoz Anyone who mistreats another person like this is pathologically insecure, and is kidding themselves. I am sorry you have dealt with people like this.
5:50 for the actual strategies, which after all that, aren't actually as helpful as other videos on this subject.
I can’t find a therapist. Can someone help me please!?!?!
Me too... Maybe we can talk to each other.
These people feel this is the way to get someone to do their bidding it’s is not it can be done right back at you till you sit down and mind your place.
I experienced early adult bullying in varsity and sadly the memory tails behind me to this day.
I had been screamed at in my face and I hate that I had enough self control not to punch that person in the face.
All I can control now is the decision that, that person is not my friend.
❤
My oldest daughter is a BiG Bully 😢. She has talked smack on me for Years now,, ever since she left home . When Anybody calls her out for her BS she gets Vicious and Doubles Down on her vindictiveness and hate😢. I don't know what I did to make her feel this way towards me ,, but I sure do miss my little girl who was So Sweet & Smart & Funny 😢.
We don't speak or see each other and we live in the same town ,, She won't even let me see my granddaughter who is going on 2 and I've seen her twice 😢.
Children don't just randomly bully parents
Well..... this all sounds professional and positive but I gotta say
It's over the top awesome when you become a bully hunter type especially when you have other coworkers from different departments for a shoulder to lean on don't worry I'll take it from here
And a really firm grip on a shoulder with direct eye contact changes things and hell yes I live to piss in his Cheerios every chance I get that narcissist stays to himself now and doesn't talk a whole lot and coworkers are happy especially at company gatherings