6 Verbal Tricks To Make An Aggressive Person Sorry
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ม.ค. 2018
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Jordan Peterson VS Cathy Newman Debate
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How To Shut Down Conversational Bullies
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Have you seen the Jordan Peterson and Cathy Newman debate?
See for yourself how he deals with it and give us your opinion in the comments!
We've all found ourselves in conversation and felt attacked like we started off talking about one thing and then the other person twisted our words and before we knew it, we lost our cool, lost respect in their eyes, and maybe even acted like a jerk. Now, I don't normally do the same person twice in a row but this interview between Cathy Newman and Jordan Peterson was just too interesting of an opportunity to discuss how you can handle someone who uses subtle conversational tricks to bully you into looking dumb. So in this video, you're gonna see firsthand some of the most common tricks that people might be using on you and you're also gonna learn how to reverse those so that you can walk out of a kind of aggressive situation having earned more respect than you had going in.
So first off, to stop a conversational bully, you have to realize what's going on before it's too late. Now, typically, a person will reveal their aggressive attitude early on with their tone of voice and their word choice. Check out the rest that we will show in this video and how Jordan Peterson tackles them.
1:49 Jordan Peterson deals with so-you're-saying trap
2:39 Jordan Peterson deals with the "assuming the sale"
5:30 Jordan Peterson deals with the smash technique
7:08 But don't straw man the other person's ideas though
7:47 And visual imagery can also help
8:25 You can show them that they're already agreeing with you
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TH-cam: How to avoid embarassing yourself in an argument
"so you are saying that i embarrass myself in every argument??"
I know that I do
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh powerful one, for whoever understand it
This comment is the winner.
I used too
Nice one
Bad idea to play mind games with a psychology professor.
Equally bad to play psychological games with a mind professor.
Like challenging the Flash to a game of tag, lmao.
@@dorianphilotheates3769 Equally bad to mind a psychological play with a game professor
probably not an idea, more of an habit and intuitive behaviours (just learned what's usually effective by intuitive trial and error over years and got into the habit of practicing it)
so it's like trying to make a medical doctor sick?
I'm retired now. Workplace cultures can be very argumentative. I stumbled upon a book called The Gentle Art Of Verbal Self Defense. I read it and tried it. It worked so well that I lived by it. When I realized I was mastering the content, my stress level plummeted.
Kudos for your skills!
An excellent book
Who is the author of the book?.
@@saoirseblue5353Suzette Haden Elgin
@@saoirseblue5353Suzette Haden Elgin
I will check this out.
Ten years ago, my office area had an older boss who had anger issues and was very manipulative, but on Friday’s he would walk by us and ask why we were still around at 3pm. I think he was aware of his short-comings and he tried to make up for them by letting us go early on Fridays. I read two book by a clinical psychologist that helped me to understand him and he never bothered me again emotionally after I read the book because I learned how to deal with him. The books are called “In Sheep’s Clothing” and “Character Disturbances”, by George Simon. Those books also help me these days with manipulative types, and instead of becoming angry, I deal with them professionally and grounded.
Can you give me some example how you deal with your boss after you read those book? What did he say to you and what did you say back?
@@vincentnnyc After I read the Character Disturbances” book, I began to realize that my boss had some personal issues that had nothing to do with me or my coworkers. They were deep-seated personal issues and that he was short-sighted and lacked good solid reasoning. I had also heard that he drank a lot of booze in the 1970s and was a bit of an alcoholic but had since stopped drinking many years before. I worked with him from 2008 to 2013. If this was true, he had that look on his face in which he just never could handle stress well at all. Once I understood this, he never bothered me again.
This video is totally RUBBISH. It does not tell anyone anything. Designed to get people to look at you big paid "Course". THANK YOU @veltonmeade 1057 for the book suggestions. I have ordered.
Peterson: “What a clear, sunny day.”
Newman: “So you’re saying clouds have no right to be here?”
she was just trying to make sure she understands whats hes implying, because Peterson's arguements most of the time werent consistent enough to serve the premise
hahahahahaahaha the best comment ever ...she is insane
@@roye6961 I can't tell whether or not you're joking.
@@Tobyodd average answer I would expect on this thread
@@roye6961 How about answering then ?
Peterson: “gotcha”
Newman: “so you’re saying that you now own me.”
😂
He DID own her
@Sirius Stark Al Ghul this comment popped up and before I recognized the thread, my initial thought was "what did I say now?"
Lmaoooo
@Sativa Rommola so what your saying is asia is incapable of engaging in underwater combat
00:47 - Realise whats going on before its too late
1:54 the "so you're saying" trap
2:52 assuming the sale
5:35 Smash technique
7:12 Do not strawman the other persons ideas
7:44 Make sure the other person can understand you after you have understood their viewpoint or idea
8:40 Show them that they are already agreeing with you
10:37 Adress the emotional concern
Classy...
Why
I find these things do not always work. As in my experience even when a person clearly explain themselves the person twisting your words will continue to do so regardless and refuse to acknowledge that they misinterpreted. Many people have had the loss of reputations and jobs because of this sort of thing. It's not so simple as being cunning enough to make them realize their mistake. Some people just won't no matter what you do.
Use the same technique......continue with your opinion until the end, firm.
@@saoirseblue5353 ok but just continuing the same method and arguing your point back and forth, what does that actually accomplish? If the other person refuses to acknowledge than there is no point. It will just go in circles with no end.
I really clapped for Jordan at the end pointing out how Katie has been questioning him, being aggressive, offensive and putting words in his mouth and how that shows her disagreeable position against him and that is exactly freedom of speech which he is all about. Good for Jordan!!! You proved she was doing what she is supposed to be against.
This made me like him more. She was obnoxious. Not the feminist I want representing me.
I walked away from this interview, initially, thinking Jordan Peterson was the bully.
Dr. Peterson is absolutely brilliant!!
Jordan: "I like dogs"
Kathy: "So you're saying that you hate cats?"
Every liberal everywhere. Freakin nut cases
Lmfao
Running or Jumping in excitement.
"So you are trying your level best to make the life of the disabled person miserable. Don't you ? "
@@spartan2906 haha on point
@@bgmagma10R We'd need to see substantial evidence for that. Especially when you state "every". Not most, not many, every. Please show the evidence.
I love the statement someone made years ago. "People don't want to hear your opinion. They want their opinion to come out of your mouth."
That's basically most humans. Even myself. It's actually a survival technique to respond positively to those who support our ideology, while avoiding those who could present a threat. You might think we'd have moved on after thousands of years...
My tactic is to exaggerate, in a bombastic and exaggerated fashion, in the following way: "Oh my God! That's exactly right, boy you hit the nail right on the head, no doubt about it! It's like you're in my head or something! I mean WOW! You even got all the punctuation down with your inflection, and I have to hand it to you, wow, yup exactly down to the last molecule, a precise word for word rendition of not only what I said but what I meant by it, which by the way is exactly what I said. " Then I sit back beaming smugly at them because I called them a liar in a very sarcastic way. Nobody wants to argue with me anymore after that. Nasty, I know, but it has been several years since I realized there is no way to convert a fanatic so the best you can do is cut the interaction to a minimum and hope they die soon.
@airlockengage agreed.
@@ramoncotta1264 that is radical bro!
@@hees0009 That's just straight up confirmation bias though and doesn't save you at all from the ramifications of the Dunning-Kruger effect. You can be in danger of being manipulated and your confidence exploited before you even know it, you won't see it coming because you were so sure you were right and now you're too embarrassed to be wrong.
TOTALLY agree with the relaxed posture. I once asked for a meeting with a priest who attacked me in an email, I don't know who taught him it was okay to address anyone that way, but it was ridiculous. Got to the meeting to find he had planned an attempted "gotcha" for me with the Vicar General and deacon. God bless and help them all. I can't do it naturally, but I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time in a high-risk pregnancy, and the Holy Spirit apparently decided enough was enough - because I spent the entire hour unconcerned, leaning back in my chair, sometimes with my hands behind my head, totally relaxed, even while this dude was *repeatedly jumping out of his chair and yelling at me.* He was absolutely stymied and his "gotcha" failed miserably. Keep your body relaxed. Out of control bullies just don't know what to do with it!
Would you tell us what the meeting was about?
@@eileensullivan549 Thank you for asking, but no. Telling their false accusations only spreads them further. The reason I asked for a meeting? Because when somebody you have to deal with sends an out of control email, you have to get out from behind the computer and make a face-to-face connection. Unbelievable as it might sound, my motive was just Gospel goodwill. By the time I learned I had walked into a malicious setup, the Holy Spirit had already planted himself in front of me; I was completely, totally, and absolutely protected, to the point where I was even relaxed. Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever! Please pray for that priest and deacon. And thanks for your question, because it's been a while and it was a nudge for me to pray for them today.
@@eileensullivan549 Im wondering too lmao wtf is that setting
👍
👏👌
You can't reason with people that hate you.
Jordan Peterson: “I’m an analyst and therapist.”
Cathy Newman: “so what you’re saying is you’re an Analrapist?”
Edit: I no longer care for Jordan Peterson.
Stop stealing comments
Brilliant! 🤣🤣👑
Alek Blaylock 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bruh 😂😂😂
@@Afs-g1clor cuz it's exactly same comment from original video
Jesus christ i barely talk properly, now i have to talk like im playing chess...
Lol
😂😂
Four player, three leveled holo star wars chess.
@NO NAME haha no hail satan
Smart comment, made me think of it in another way
"Ha! Gotcha!" was perfect. It brought an air of levity to the stifling moment of Kathy's stuporous stammer. After enduring her hostility throughout the interview, it was fitting for Jordan to gracefully hold her at the tip of his skilful sword.
To her credit, she admitted that he won that party.
That Gotcha moment was a turning point for so many people.
Whilst you could argue it wasn't the most constructive thing to do, in terms of exposing the combative and self-righteous media for the bullies they've become, or perhaps were all along, it was very much needed.
Of course... we might be living in a very different world if Dr. Peterson had then spent the next 20 minutes winning over Newman. Seeing one of their own turned on such a visible scale might have brought a lot of people back from the barricades.
But then again, maybe it wouldn't have had the exposure it did without the Gotcha moment.
Who knows. Lets go play some games.
The downside to converting a traitor to your team is that now the traitor is on your team.
In the words of TF2: "Spy... is not OUR Spy!"
Peterson: "You look great today".
Interviewer: " So, you're saying that I was ugly yesterday?"
gold
Girls are girls😴
Sometimes they twist your words
"YES"
Interviewer: "Are you religious"
Peterson: "Depends on what you mean by religious"
Interviewer: "Do you believe in the Bible"
Peterson: "Depends on what you mean by the Bible"
Interviewer: "Are you a man capable of answering questions"
Peterson: "Depends on what you mean about man, capable, answering and questions"
Yup. You Peterson fanbois love to make fun of women like pathetic incels. Yet your hero is equally pathetic as the women you attack.
"Sure is nice out today."
"So you're denying climate change?"
You know nothing Jon snow.
Lol. The contard fallacy.
Sadia Banu Omg😂👌👏
I dont think I have ever heard of that
TheBattleNetWork It's a joke.
Personally, I really appreciate you for taking the time to analyze a discussion and then pass it on so others might learn something from it. I know I certainly did. I have been a big JP fan for a long time because of his ability to truly listen to what the other person is saying and at the same time, dissecting their words and phrases to spot any sort of attempts to lure him into responding with something he doesn't want to say or something he doesn't agree with. He is truly one of the greatest minds of the modern age.
But he's actually a bully... People think he's right just because he can argue better, whether he's true or not
@@MattMcKennaM He is not respectless to people. Everyone has time to talk. This is not bullying people.
Damn, seeing this video makes me feel funny, because I was arguing with someone who just smashes so many things for me to respond, its basically impossible to talk with those people who just want to win over you rather than talk about the actual reason of why things are the way they are... great video overall!
Him saying “gotcha” actually helped her. The awkward silence would have been much much worse for her.
Fact
Agree
But not the right move
Great point
So once again, he was being nice.
Jordan: I.....
Cathy: So you're saying you're the only one?
hahaha! That was a good one Alana.
Good one Alana
This. I had witnessed a classmate (who was actually a real b!$%# under the surface, which I clued into long before) go about doing exactly what this woman did to another classmate with whom I was on friendly terms with. This was in college, and the professor for that class had actually gone to the effort to get them to explain to each other clearly exactly what they were saying. Too bad the girl went and spread bull about her behind her back a day later in another class, all because she was an insecure piece of work (I pity her boyfriend, though).
I really hate when people pull stuff like this because they're essentially putting words in your mouth that you didn't say just to get under your skin. It's one of the reasons *why* I absolutely dislike arguing with people, especially if they're never going to admit that they're the ones who are full of it.
we almost have the same name!
😂😂😂😂😂
All good points. To simplify, don't let a lie pass. Identity it, call it out, counter it.
The key to being aggressive is appearing passive all the time. Just like telling a lie all the time no one will believe you when you tell the truth. Same with aggression if you're angry all the time people usually know you're a coward that is afraid. That's why the silent ones are the deadliest
He is a clinical psychologist with years of experience dealing with angry, self righteous people like the interviewer.
in otherwords this may have been her show, but it was his episode
@@takaw.d8486 yes, 😂😂😂
Let's add the fact that he have a PHD in Clinical Psychologist, and was a Post Doctoral researcher (in the same matter) for 3 more years, and been the author and co-author of more of 100 academic researches.
@@wasabi.2839 yep all of that up against some angry whining baby that can only say a few words "g-g-gu gu-so youre saying that-"
Oooh that's why he's so good with words, he gets under people's skin with cheap tricks too by begin a psicologist
Jordan: breathes
Interviewer: So you're disrespecting dead people
😂😂
This has gone "a bit" to far...
😂 😂 😂 Like seriously
Ha haha hahaha Haa... This comment nearly killed me!
🤣🤣🤣
She was clearly predatory and underhanded while he fearlessly and skillfully responded to the verbal fencing match like a pro finally delivering a grand slam victory play. Satisfying karma to watch her left speechless and defeated and worth watching again. Thank you for sharing the valuable demonstration and key narrative.
Another trick I’ve heard people try is to wildly reframe the issue in an attempt to frame out important aspects of the discussion, as if they’re not relevant. My response is, “That question ignores ”
Jordan: "YES"
Kathy: "So you're saying NO?"
Jordan: "NO"
Kathy: exactly
Kathy every 10.0 seconds: "So you're saying..."
_Proceeds to say something which he never said._
@@sankalp2520 😂😂😂broo😂
@stefano Greco H. thnx mate😘😂
Laugh really hard with this one 🤣🤣
watching this made me realize just how futile it is to be an unnecessarily aggressive debater. makes me wanna be more mindful of how i articulate myself in future
I wouldn't say it's futile. In fact, I think being aggressive can be effective. Not necessarily very good, but effective. Especially against someone who isn't as smart as Jordan Peterson. 😂😂
It is necessary to be able to be an agressive debater AND know how to deal with one yourself. Of course there are times you shouldn't be aggressive, but having all the skills under your belt.
The "Gotcha" phrase is key to establish dominance and awareness of the situation, to let you interlocutor know that you cannot be fooled or manipulated, you know how to play your cards right!
Peterson: "Is nice to see you"
Interviewer: "So you are saying is ugly to see every other woman?"
CATHY YOUR SAYING ABOUT 50 TIMES
Tbh most woman do this
😂
Lol
I think that's the most telling thing about this 'interview'. Every question she asked of him was just a warped and twisted regurgitation of a valid point he'd made that she simply couldn't accept or understand. It was't so much an interview as a hit piece. You could tell in the way that she shotgunned questions she was reading from her tablet that she didn't care about answers, merely wanted to hurl accusations at him.
This lady doesn’t even want him to talk. She just wants to hear her own voice
Exactly
She's no lady...
She is womansplaining xD
In my experience, the people who talk over you refuse to listen because they're terrified of the fact that you may be right and they may be wrong. That terror manifests in frantic anger, which is why ignorant people are so frustrating to talk with.
This video is montaged in a way that makes her seem like a bully (if I had to decide whether she really was or not, I'd say she was), but we lack context. The cuts are way too short.
If the driving motivation of your dialogue in a given argument or conversation is to seek the objective Truth, then these things come much more naturally. Knowing your values inside and out, as well as knowing the truth you represent fully is vital before any arguing is to occur, if you don't I guess you are more likely to lose an argument against someone who would critique something you believe yet know nothing about. Also, remaining grounded to your beliefs real-time allows you to weave your way out of these situations in which people may try to pin you down, you always have that Home-base which you can return to in order to brush off claims that people may place on you. I personally also think this is a much better way to approach these sort of discussions as I believe people may cling too much onto pre-rehearsed responses and when pinned down by these sorts of people they could get stuck, or say something which doesn't exactly support their point.
If someone is aggressively questioning me or misquoting me I like to question them, e.g. 'what exactly do you think I said?' or 'what do you think I meant by that?' They often don't really know or can't put it into logical words and the attack is defused. A question in return can be the most effective way of responding.
Jordan: uh... this conversation is getting annoying
Cathy: So you're saying talking with women is annoying
Yes.... as with all women.
lol
Name one person in this world who wants to talk to her? I bet she got divorced after this interview lol and she should. This woman needs mental help asap
Yes
"How to avoid embarrassing yourself".
1) Don't be Cathy Newman
Damn, that's accurate !!
2)Don't speak what the media feeds you
Classic 🤣🤣🤣🤣
1) don't be a communist/socialist...
If she was interviewing Kim Jong Un, I'm pretty sure you'd think she is doing a damn good job. In my eyes, she did her work splendidly. In normal conversation however, she'd be a huge red flag giving off narcissistic vibes
So i was in court being grilled by the defense attorney, I was the only witness to the crime in question, I kept getting hit with the so you're saying thing repeatedly on stuff thats not true, it was kinda funny because i could almost feel him getting more and more frustrated every time i told him no and reitterated my actual point, these techniques 💯 work
Well done .
My sister used the "so you are saying..." method without the lead up, which did indeed piss me off. I just left though, so she was stuck being mad on her own. I didn't have the ability to salvage that anymore after how quickly she decided I was an enemy. I feel like she genuinely just did the most bad faith interpretation of me not liking something she did and saying so, so hopefully she moved from her usual cluelessness to actually thinking for once. She also did the common putting someone on the spot and demanding examples for a simple statement. Escalation seems to be her talent and it's getting hard to not let it rub off.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
Peterson: sips water
Newman: ‘So you’re saying we should let Africa die of thirst?’
This is a bad take.
@@matthewadejumo9397 that's the joke
@@yashim08 he was making a joke as well
LOL
He doesn't fall into the "we as a collective" game. There are plenty of groups and individuals working on behalf of Africa.
Jordan declaring, "gotcha" was actually a gracious way of breaking the tension by lightening it up a bit. He could have annihilated her and let her stew in her embarrassment.
Great point. He pulled her out of a hole there i thought.
He actually felt bad about not being able to refrain himself from saying that. He has explained several times that there he lost the opportunity to have an actual intellectual conversation based on that topic. He could have redirected the "debate" to what he pursues, logical expositions. Instead he himself admitted later that he lost his temper there and with it, the gateway to completely change the discussion.
@@Jayako12 i really doubt that this conversation actually could have turned into an honest, intellectual debate. Not under these circumstances. Even if she started to understand and maybe even agree to what he was saying, which to an extent i think she started to do at that very moment, there is no way she would have abandoned her agenda while being on live TV.
In a private conversation? Possibly, but not in this situation.
Agreed. He’s absolutely a gentleman
Excellent point
I LOVE that you bring up that saying “gotcha” was a negative move, because it puts them down rather than bringing them to your side. To be mature means not kicking people when they are down, and always having integrity.
It is very much about not being offended. Stay calm - let the person talk as he or she wants - find out if you want to use time and energy to respond. They will then discover, that they are not that important to you, when they behave like that😘
Peterson: "Hi"
Interviewer: "So you're assuming I can speak English?"
The north is just lost
Polar bears, seals, ice, water, a pole, it's a MESS
Peterson: I am actually right though.
PenisMcWhirtar How is Autism a sign of being lost?
@*Black *Maple* shutup snowflake
Peterson: ohhh, so you really like Dogs???
Interviewer: oh Yeees.
Peterson: so you agree that the Cats should be all killed?!!!!
Jordan: I am...
Interviewer: so you think im not?
hahahaha
bruh more like RTX 2080 Ti
Xx
*xd
*Shakespeare is typing...*
In the end, kudos to her for actually listening to what he's saying & then acknowledging his accurate point of view.
In my experience even when one clarifies themselves the person twisting words will refuse to acknowledge it and continue the accusations out of insecurity! being defensive instead and wanting revenge which could result in the destruction of reputation, jobs, relationships ect. Due to my experiences the first time someone twists my words or gaslights I see them as a threat with the potential to destroy me and they get NO second chances! That's the end of it! Except with my mom and I really got work on that.
exactly . after years of not standing up for myself by thinking i know the truth who cares what they believe iv suddenly realized that no one even my mum knows who i am. iv tried talking to her but to correct her with facts is like a personal attack or she uses against me or twists it meaning , to where i come out thinking i must be talking a different language so i clarify simplfy but they dont hear you and totally miss the point accusing me of stuff . So i give up. ... and then i get the ' you never talk to me ' Mothers! u cant win
Jordan: **inhales in preparation to speak**
Cathy: "SO YOU'RE SAYING..."
and the winner is... :-)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL - This is the best one!!
Level asian
So you think you have more right to breathe oxygen than women
@@fabooshka Why, yes. Yes I do.
I think that "gotcha" was intended to be more like ice-breaking, not humiliating. Kinda "stop attacking, let's laugh this off".
@John Galt But she did save her position by a strategy I'd call, 'taking the hit. She's a bit stronger by admitting she's taken damage and that allow you to like her a little bit......'>.......
Agreed. It contrasted so sharply in tone with the rest of the interview that it made him come across as a lot less combative. He gave her an exit out of a tough situation where his silence could have just forced her to change the subject or apologise for making him feel uncomfortable.
I mean at the end of the day they're both professionals and should look out for each other every now and then despite their different views. I think Jordan momentarily kinda felt that empathy given it is her show. It would've been incredibly awkward if they both just kept silent while she takes the blow and tries to stutter her way back in. Props to Jordan for recognising that.
If they'd stop hacking my phone that'd be great. They're damned malicious with hacking. who are they?
I felt like that too
I had a head rn who would give me horrendous assignments then keep asking me if I was done
Other rns started jumping in helping out knowing it was impossible to be done on time. Then I realized she just wanted to make me squirm . So I stopped explaining and just agreed with her.
Your absolutely right , I should have had all my am care , categorizations , dressings and leg wraps on three by 10.
She knew I didn't agree with her but by not making groveling or making excuses she had nowhere to go.
She stopped doing it to me and shortly thereafter one of the other rns asked me how I got her to stop
Most of the time people aren’t even truly telling you what they think. They are telling you someone else’s views and opinions. An they don’t fully understand those views an opinions. So there debate turns into an arguments because it isn’t fact and logic that drive them. It’s there EMOTIONS that guide them.
Peterson: "I like cats".
Interviewer: "so you are saying that we should kill dogs"?
Abyssinia Empire hahahaha yep
Abyssinia Empire politics in a nutshell
If u reversed that I would agree with it.
that sums it up
Bingo!!!
Peterson: Womens individual choices effect how much money they make
Interviewer: So you are saying that you hate women and will actively try to keep them down financially and eliminate women's personal choices...................
Yeah, that "gotcha" came off as "don't you feel silly, now." But OH MY GOD did it feel so damn satisfying.
Ben Schrader dude you took the words right out of my mouth
Yup, guilty pleasure.
She really deserved it lol after she kept trying to stab him, that gotcha was all he needed to finish the job. She created it and it backfired. The beauty of it is how much weight that one word had lol
Yeah, it was the one provocative move from his side.
While it does go against his usual approach of not making people look stupid however, I think it was still a bit different:
More along the lines of a teacher teasing "do you see what I mean now?" after the student inadvertently demonstrated the teacher's point.
(For those wondering, it's at 10:00.)
Even tho I liked the 3 seconds she didn't speak, I don't think she was even listening to what he was saying. I think she was listening to her director on the earpiece and waiting for a response.
Excellent video. Being someone who enjoys "uncomfortable" conversations/debate/discussions with those who don't agree with me, I've found that sometimes it just isn't worth trying to gain someone's respect. I will almost always start off from that basis - respect given will result in respect back - but I've found that with some people it doesn't matter. You can show them areas of agreement all day long, but their emotions will not allow them to recognize it. For as much of a supposedly reason driven world we supposedly inhabit, I have found emotions rule the day far more often than reason does. The phrase, "one cannot argue with emotion" comes to mind in these instances. Jordan's "gotcha" remark conveyed that perfectly. Kathy was EMOTIONALLY attached with her disagreement with Peterson. He disarmed her emotions by using logic to corner those emotions. Once cornered, she's embarrassed and wants to be let off the hook. He didn't do anything wrong by using that technique, because oftentimes when I'm watching him in one of these confrontational interviews, I don't ever see him trying to convince the interviewer. He's using the interviewer to illustrate the emotions behind their arguments to the audience.
That' s really true...
It's really easy to understand these bully tactics when I already do them myself and it's being defined with such a clarity. Now I know how to respond when I'm exposed to them. Great video💀
Peterson: "I think..."
Interviewer: "So you're assuming that I DON'T think?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ahaahha😂☺️😪🧐😈
this is a good one hahaha
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jordan: I haven't had my lunch.
Cathy: So you're saying I should make you a sandwich.
😂
Yes
Hey, this is a copied comment
Paranoia can do that to a person turning every simple sentence into supposed threat 😅
Yes
Dr. Peterson is so refreshing to listen to. The world doesn't deserve him, but there he is. And thank God for blessing us with him.
To repeat the main point for me: its to actually remember in detail what your point(s) is/are and 2. being able to understand what the other person wants to say and/or convince you of. And 3. Then compare these 2 with one another. And point out every wrong assumption in a relaxed way
We all know Jordan deserved his "gotcha" moment.
The entire interview was a gotcha moment.
@@philipberggren1823 So what you're saying is, Cathy won the debate?
@Michael Jordan lol I know, my comment is just a meme
@Michael Jordan can be hard to read sarcasm on the internet sometimes 😂
he definitely indulged after considering it a net benefit of breaking the silent tension for her. it was a pretty friendly gesture playing on how trappy her incessant strawmen were.
The level of patience Peterson has is just out of this world.
Yeah, when i argue with people, Ibget unpatient that they wont realize that they're wrong, or that im right, and they just keep babbling ao that they can somehow make themselves right, or make me wrong
It's just common sence. He knows how visably getting angry makes you look and as psychology professor he knows exactly how anger works.
It really gives you the upper hand if you are laid back and patient when the other person is attacking you. It wrong foots them because they wanted to make you angry and it doesn't work. I had a boss do that when I was representing another worker's interest. I just sat back patiently and let him vent his anger until he ran out of steam. Then I calmly asked him if we could discuss the subject now he had got that off his chest. Needless to say I walked out of that room with everything I went in there to get, and the worker was delighted that I had won for him. If you lose your rag, you are going to lose the argument, and that boss knew that. So did Cathy Newman. If Jordan had lost his rag at any moment she would have made mincemeat out of him.
Yes being a woman myself I have to agree and I also would have to be tied to the chair!
I could not agree more! I so wish I had his level of patience!
The professor took her to school and earned her respect. He knew it would take time to discuss common ground
not the first time ive seen peeterson handle these tactics, but your slowing it, annotating , and analysing is very edifying. thanks much
Arguments aren't about using facts anymore. It's about who can whine the loudest.
depends on viewer criteria. I'm amazed at how many people use the above for theirs.
thats the difference between an argument and a debate
facts do win the convo but convo with halfwits, it doesn't work haha
Oh my god, yes woman do this a lot
Lol if you let them whine louder
This felt like a verbal game of chess
NextTimeTech but Cathy's playing with checkers
It’s like a grand master vs a 3 year old
only if the players were magnus carlsen vs a toddler, im not trying to be offensive towards her but thats what it feels like.
it was more like a grandmaster teaching a first timer. "This? This is called a rook"
Cathy is probably pretty good at the verbal "game of chess", Jordan is just that much better. I would say Cathy is like a really good online chess player, thinks she is hot shit, then challenges a grand master.
It's so frustrating when you feel you have to talk sense into someone who clearly doesn't want to understand anything but what they feel is true
Five years ago ...... life has flown by. This video popped up again in my recommendations. I still like it as much as the first time. 👍👍
Cathy is a bully then plays the Victim when she lost
That's exactly what bullies usually do ...
How to be a Marxist 101.
I wouldn't say she is a bully, but rather, this is her job - she needs to interrogate, question and command soundbites from the interview. Yes, she may personally agree with much of what she is saying, but there are times where she needs to play devil's advocate. That is how I see it anyway.
Jerome . HAHA! thats a good point.. But I don't Think Cathy's saying things Out of context, over simplifications, misrepresentations and misleading are form of intellectual interrogation.. Cathy is a Bully its her Job to do so.. She is no Devils advocate. She is just Dumb. Seriously Just watch the "Lobster" part.. You will see her Level of Intelligence.
Jerome.. She is misleading and misrepresenting what Jordan had said.. ANd that is what bully always do. Then once you trap and defeat the bully. They play as a Victim in which is what she did.. She even claim that the Jordan Fans will gonna harass her.
He deserved that "Gotcha" after tolerating her attacks.
That was SWEET.
He may have deserved it, but doing the same thing the other person does is never the right move when it comes to winning anyone over. It only is on their same level - humiliating and demoralizing them. It wasn't in good taste, but everyone makes mistakes. Overall, he still did an excellent job - certainly much better than many others do.
I saw it as more of an ironic "gotcha" like he wasn't trying to do that, but he's happy he got her to see his side without belittling her. If he could've taken control of the interview back right there and said something like how he didn't actually want to have a "gotcha" moment, and he's happy she's seeing his side, it would've made him out to have taken the high road and still beat her.
@@CHIEF__ Jordan was playing with her.
He has treated 100's of women the carbon copy of *Katty,* the most telling part of the whole interview was when JP said;
"I suspect that your unpleasantness has served YOU very well over the years"
Katty's rep;
"Yes.... YES it has in fact"
JP was gentle with her, because he knows just how mentally fragile she truly IS.
@@aqua3418 If I were Jordan, I don't want to win that woman over. So Gotcha all the way.
When i am repeatedly interrupted by a conversational bully i say "I am sorry, did the end of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"
or "I'd really love to talk to you about this, bit not like this..lets revisit this once you've had a chance to calm down"
or
"I guess I'll just have to accept your faulty perception of who I am" or "Your anger is not my responsibility"
She really showed herself to be a totally despicable creature in that interview. She can never live that down.
Jordan breaths
Interviewer: so you are saying I'm underwater
lol
Hahahah
🤣🤣🤣
This one's my favorite
I am fucking crying! Almost woke up everyone in the house with this!
I liked it when he said "it was nice talking to you" at the end of the interview. The only untrue thing he said.
Well, it may have been uncomfortable, but for Peterson, that kind of conversation adds to his total understanding of humanity, so he is still glad that it happened.
Should of said nice of you talking at me.
He simply enjoyed toying with her and he let her know. I wish to be at his level. Maybe next life.
I'm with Manticore on this one. The response could have been genuine, cause both of them left with an experience.
I think Cathy got hot for the man
She displayed common abusive tactics. Jordan handled this well. Abusive, manipulative, and narcissist’s are masters at this type of verbal abuse. They can get the most intelligent grounded person flummoxed. I agree that Jordan’s statement “I gotcha!” Was not only unnecessary, but did undermine the feeling of the interview.
The real way to win an argument is to be on the side of what is right and know everything about the subject and therefore be able to use facts against the lies, and whatever else is used to try to win. The more you know about a subject, the harder it is for someone to trip you up, or for you to not know something. You just need to do a lot of research, and know as much as possible and use facts or if it is a subject that is debated and facts are not decided yet or known, you may want to see what research there is, or what groups of people support or are against the issue by percentage, and know the stats. The more you know about something the more you will win and own others in an argument. But that doesn’t work for some issues, as there are no stats and they are a matter of opinion. This is when logic matters. As in how you can apply logic to solve an issue.
Peterson: *takes a bite out of a sandwich*
Newman: “So you’re saying Hitler should be resurrected?”
*Laughs in sandwich*
That was outstanding. Well done you! 😀
Yes. He should be. Only for the purpose of living alone with Newman on a deserted island. She has worked hard for it.
Uncle: *LUMBAGO*
“So your saying the whole lemoyne chapter Is an unpleasant waste of time”
Oscar Rasmussen 😂😂🤣
Peterson: Good Bye
Interviewer: so you're saying I asked you to leave?
Ahahahaha
😆
Who is doing an interview？And what for？ This video is about How to keep your cool in an argument.
Andrew Dembegiotis best one yet
You don't even need to say anything. You are joging. So, you try to tell me I'm to fat and I need to lose weight?!
She was driving the pace of the interview in a frenzied fashion. Looking to add a pelt to the wall.
Staying reserved and relaxed and slowing things down is a good technique.
Don't get defensive on her accusations just pick out what you want to address.
When you are compassionate, genius and honest with exceptional communication skill you are basically indestructible.
Jordan knows himself and he trusts to logic. That makes him comfortable in his own skin. He also has the patience of a saint.
I always thought: people that won't let you talk, will twist your words ect, don't actually believe in their own arguments. Peterson knows that he's right so he'll just let his interlocutors talk until they imminently contradict themselves.
@@emmanuellelarocque9440 The narrator is right....it's conversational bullying. Sometimes overt, but often sneaky or veiled. They aren't there to listen to your point of view or learn something. It's like a battle for them. I see so much of that in TH-cam comments. I think most of us just react with anger and maybe get flustered and deny whatever accusation is being thrown. Jordan is very good at not allowing people to get a rise out of him. Instead, you can usually see them getting annoyed. It's very enjoyable to watch.
Jordan stays calm the majority of the time because he knows that he has stats and research to back his opinion. Which is why in all of his interviews and debates, he always asks the other person to present the evidence and they rarely ever do
@@nexpro6118 I think he has a sort of confidence in what he is saying because he has already thought it all over very thoroughly at some point. His business seems to be thinking and analyzing and trying to come to grips with how things are connected and how they work. And it is also instruction and enabling others to understand, which equips him to defend what he says. Even so, he will pause and consider, in case there are other possibilities, before he responds. The people he debates are seldom so prepared.
@@dodieodie498 very well said...and with that said, I think most people who debate with feelings and the sense of having a higher morally superiority just personally attack the other person because he and or she cannot rely on facts and stats.
Notice how she asks a question, then talks over him when he tries to answer.
Yes, but only in the entire interview.
She is absolutely renowned for doing that as are most feminists as quite often they don't want to hear the answer as it will not fit with their agenda.
My teacher does that as well, when were having an argument
@@robinkoci7227 That's just sad. If you are clearly wrong, it will come out in discussion. They seem afraid to be proven wrong. Show this to them. Re-evaluate your tactics. What you're doing makes your position look less correct because you're attempting to shut someone else out of the conversation, pre-emptively. Take a moment and THINK.
That's exactly what my mom does...
Thank you so much for uploading this video. I need to watch over and over and I can deal with whoever attacking me.
Running into JP about 5 years ago was one of the best things that has happened to me in my 73 years of life. Reading Catch 22 in 1968 opened my eyes to the Vietnam war lies, i compare the events as i listen to this. I am so worried for my 4 grandsons won't havecthe chances i had.
I'm starting to think this was less of an "interview" and more of an interrogation.
just an attack on him really
@@diatom333 and a horribly backfired one
Stargate fan I see 👀
and a very agressive one by the way
I'm a journalist and I believe this is a very bad piece of journalism. The woman is clearly biased and is constantly attacking him.
Someone should have warned her that this man is extremely intelligent.
based.
If she went to Oxford no warning should be needed
@slam slam she’s literally just doing her job as an interviewer; the chances are she was told exactly what to say
Not that he's not intelligent, but debating ia much more about emotional intelligence than any other kind. And that's his true merit.
@Foppo Leeuwerke Compared to intelligent men she's not very intelligent. Maybe she's intelligent for a woman.
Wow wow wow. I have new home work. Conversation is a skill like anything else. But because I have been speaking since I was 2 I thought I knew how. It is clear to me I don’t. Thanks for this video. Now let me get my notebook and learn these lessons. ❤
I think what is missing in your review of this is that, Kathy is actually initiating psychological warfare and not simply dialoguing or having a conversation, her questions were likely pre planned and structure to invoke negative feeling toward Jordan by her large feminist audience. His "Got ya there" was actually extremely valuable to recalibrating his image with that audience as being light and disarming. Bascialy he exposed her for who she is.
She said "so your saying" over 20 times that interview.
over 75 times in the actual video!
*you’re
Maybe they are trained to do so.
Libtards love this phrase, they absolutely do. I’ve encountered this illogical phrase countless times - whenever I try to get a point across, they just throw it at me.
It's the tone in which they say it, clearly Newman was trying to entrap Peterson, but you could say the same thing in an ordinary conversation and it would be fine.. Newman was clearly looking for straw for her strawman though
"Winning" an argument is easy. Changing someone's mind is another story.
Do you think Kathy is of the kind whose mind you can change? Lol
Nope
Then you gotta wonder is it worth that.
That is what free speech is about... I can silence one person but that doesn't mean that i won... I just silenced that person... I didn't actually won...
Winning an argument or debate is subjective. Each person will always say that they won the debate. Majority of people want there personal views and beliefs to just be fact without evidence.
Sometimes friends attack me for listening to Jordan Peterson. I never said I agreed with him. I said I love how he communicates and teaches me to be a better communicator. That’s not the same thing as following a guru. I’m OK with people having differences. I just want to be the person who understands how we came to those differences to me. That’s the foundation of peace, not being right.❤
Nice! Really interesting. Thanks for the perspective, and helping folx uncover presuppositions in others' language. Just beginning my study of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) and learning to spot presuppositions among other "violations" in people's language. Nicely done here.
The “gotcha” was the best part of the conversation. Jordan showed he can keep his cool, be persuasive and beat her at her own game. The trifecta.
I thought the gotcha was actually him being very kind and helping her out of a floundering silence by making a joke of it. That he had indeed won the point was obvious to all, no need to do the gotcha on that.
Does anyone agree with me on this?
I think I agree with you. I know Jordan said that he regretted saying it because he thinks that if he hadn't he could have moved the discussion into something productive instead of it going back into being adversarial but as you say, the gotcha released the tension of her becoming speechless after she realized she wasn't making sense.
It's hard to know what could have been if Jordan had let it go to an awkward silence while she regrouped.
@@RandomCarrot2806 That's interesting. Although her style was very confrontational, I'm not sure she'd have changed it. She didn't seem well prepared for his academic style, I suppose she's used to interviewing politicians, who run a mile if a journalist hints that they're being anti feminist
Go home girl twisted a twelve year old knows better love you Jordan her intellect was zero
@@nicolab2075 excellent point. And edit, I definitely agree he's not usually ever as interested in owning anyone as others are, which is the point of the guy making the video I'm sure.
“I like ketchup and don’t like mayonnaise”
“So are you saying fast food restaurants should quit using mayonnaise?”
Yes, I am saying that.
@@pippipster6767 me too
lol
No ketchup just sauce.
So you are saying mayonnaise is a music instrument?
Not sure if its appropriate, but sometimes when I'm in a discussion and the other person is being unreasonable, I might say, "what would you have me say?" In sales, its always important to contain objections one at a time and address them using questions in a non combative way, allowing them to be the reasonable person. Confirmation questions, isn't that right? Wouldn't you agree? Famous quote from W. Churchill. "Diplomacy is telling somebody to go to hell and them looking forward to the trip."
I heard a Berkeley physics say to a student, "Oh, is _that_ what you think I said?" Rod Serling's being interviewed by Mike Wallace: "I never said that," after asking Wallace to repeat the (mis)quote to which he referred. The end of the "Nudge, Nudge" skit: "Are you _insinuating_ something?" Direct. To the point. Immediate shift of conversation.
"It's been rather uncomfortable." That's an amazing line.
Followed by the 2 seconds long frowns face, followed by the smile, hahaha
The change in body language really drove it home for sure.
The smile originates at the upper lip area. It’s almost like a scowl. It says “I can’t stand you but I’m still going to be civil “. His smile is the most overt action to contempt for the interviewer.
How to keep cool: have decades of study, research and professional experience in your field
Surely it can’t hurt your case
Unlike that woman that didn't work for anything
Or plain logic really...
Or just don't care
Short : competence
I remember this "interview" and the apalling woman Cathy Maitland. I lost count of the times she said, "So you're saying..." She overwhelmed me with her ignorance, at the end I was ashamed of being both English and female. Jordan didn't give an inch and remained calm and eloquent throughout. What a great man!!
Thank you for a terrific analysis and prioritising the attempt to have an honest constructive discussion, finding common ground, rather than triumph over the other person
Him: *breathes*
Her: so you’re saying that we should enslaved oxygen to our own benefit?
@Apple Is Forever She knows that statment should be true. There aught to be a word limit law, on Most women. See how that would work. Lol...
Hahaha this is great
@@barrylast8655 If that's true then it should also be on most humans who on average have the intelligence of a potato.