Congrats, unfortunately, this is not the norm, most times it is those being bullied that end up getting fired, so huge congrats to you and to the person that took their responsibility seriously enough to do something to restore a harmonious work environment and protecting other employees.
I attract alot of workplace bullies. I feel like they are intimidated by me and try to make me look incompetent. Its tough dealing with those situations without losing face, getting depressed or reacting inappropriately. I think I'm learning though. It is just draining and upsetting. Thanks for posting.
Hope you are doing well, and same for me. How is your current situation? I've had fantastic workplaces, but also seem to sometimes attract covert bullies. I'm a good worker, I know that, and have been told at every former workplace. I'm skilled at both practical and intellectual tasks and have both experience and high formal education. But I'm also a bit shy and agreeable, but well liked. I am everything I suspect my boss wishes he was. He is a skilled salesman and visionary, but is far from an intellectual or practical person. He is also highly insecure, and this seems to come out on me. But always in very hard to catch, wrapped in friendly banter - type of way. Very hard to respond to appropriately. Almost all of it follows the theme of making me out to be WAY less competent than I am, doubting me, micromanaging and pointing out irrelevant "flaws" about my private life decicions. Comments about my clothes, insinuating that I've lied or misunderstood something obvious, suggesting how I should spend my free time. Very boundery breaking, but always disguised as "advice". It's like he has made up an alternate reality about me (and others) as a socially inept, hopeless loser that only can become someone of worth through his guidance. It really messes with my confidence some days.
@Kyra Senchyshak You said it right there "instead of changing their own behaviour". That is the essence of the issue. Instead of taking responsibility for their own issues and actions - like adults should - they still emotionally function a lot like a young child, refusing to take responsibility, and instead pushing their issue onto others. I'm not saying that in a derogatory way, either. I comes from a place of hurt, and it's probably almost entirely unconscious to them. I don't think the want to be, or even realize how toxic they are to others. That takes a lot of insight to see. Growing up emotionally takes empathy, insight, understanding and responsability - traits that are still rare in the human race. But we are working on getting there! :)
it never ends. Many are setup to find your weaknesses or things to annoy or deflate you. The happy bubbly type makes them feel bad and annoys them. So they attack you.
@@fromeveryting29 hi Julian, i was really interested to read your comments about your bosses boundary breaking comments disguised as advice.. how are things now? Did it effect your self esteem or could you see it for what it was? Sounds like there is alot of 'projection' going on from this person.
I havw had a work from home job I jist left and it was still fucking toxic honestly. Micro management and put u down infront of colleagues on Teams calls . Say your work is shit. Proper dickead cew
I work remotely and I'm being bullied by my boss. Its more isolating and harder to gain allies when you work from home. It's the worst working experience I have ever had which is saying a lot. I am 42 years old I have been working since I was 16 at a number of jobs in various industries. Workplace Bullying can happen to anyone, anywhere because narcissistic types are everywhere
I just quit my job yesterday. Don't have anything lined up , however the weight that was lifted off my shoulders was one of the best feelings I've felt in a long time.
I'm getting the hell out of my crazy job one week from today. Yahooo!! 🥳 When a boss lets the workplace bully (and the hot blonde he's secretly attracted to) run the place... IT'S TIME TO GO!!! 👋
Never, ever, be afraid to stand up to your coworkers, or even your boss. Good or bad, make your case. I've seen horrible employees keep their job, and I've seen good employees get fired.
@@PorchHonkey I am sure this brave subordinate got sent to jail and fired with cause. It feels great in the moment, but that can royally hurt you more than you hurt your boss.
I have witness workplace bullying that was so bad that workers suffered heart attacks , strokes, death and attempted suicide. A silent KILLER at BEST!!!! When is "BULLYING" going to be considered a "CRIMINAL ACT" punishable by the LAW????
Angelina Pingitore it already is. It just depends on the tactics that they use which determines the legality but some verbal abusers deserve to have their teeth knocked down their throats in some cases and the legal system needs to take it more seriously because it has been scientifically proven to cause brain damage and other physical ailments. That can make it an indirect form of physical assault and who ever came up with the adage “sticks and stones....” was a simple minded schmuck. That is why in certain subcultures saying the wrong thing to somebody can get a person killed. It can register as damage in the physical body and/or it can pave the way for direct physical assault.
Quite agree Angelina bullying does kill, and it could be considered manslaughter surely? I will never forget reading about a lady academic, possibly working at some university, the bullying became so bad she took her life. I had tears in my eyes when her published note contained something along the lines of "that she could not exist in a world that could allow such cruelty"...can't be precise, but I think that says it all. Her words have stayed with me.
Yes, but what is considered as bullying. If a boss tells the worker 'put your act together, because you are not good at your job'? That's not a bullying if the worker is lazy. It's hard to determine for an outsider what is bullying and what's not. By the way the biggest bullies at work always are the laziest and the most useless.
In my experience, the majority of people are not driven by self-interest or hate but there is a large minority that is. It only takes one person like that to create an issue. I think the biggest issue I've noticed is that most people are pretty spineless when dealing with bullies. It is easier to support the bully than to confront them. It is why I think bullies hold a lot of power over their victims because they can get other people to shun or mistreat the victim. I don't think the people going along with it are hateful just scared of being the next target.
Got fed up with being picked on - help somebody they tell managment - so they look good ( asking for help ) and that who they asked - useless . Happened several times -0 then turned it around - as the self interest which they wanted a value of somewhere around $20,000,000 - at least . Until they clear the shit up - prosecute and the compensation paid to me - they getting diddly squat . Got several of those - no documentation remains
Female dominance is common in today's workplaces, and these are, in my opinion, the most toxic and prone to bullying. Passive-aggressive and potentially seething or glowing of hatred for several years, since they're not capable of resolving issues in a steadfast manner. Don't degrade yourself to the bullies' inferiority. Keep doing what you know is right and try to find peace of mind and consolation in nature, pets, relations, literature, role models, spiritual growth and taking care of your diet, exercise and sleep. Stoic principles are helpful. You can forgive, but don't forget. See your job as a purely transactional endeavour. You can be enthusiastic and have that spark, despite all the haters around you.
I saw a therapist once for workplace bullying. She told me “ it’s just a job”. She wasn’t minimizing my emotional distress from being bullied but to say I don’t have to tolerate such abuse. She’s right. Love yourself enough to know you can do better by surrounding yourself in positive work environments.
It's just a job? Yes... how do you pay your bills if you can't get a new job quickly. It's better to get rid of the bully rather than let the bully further ruin your life
I left my phone on record at work when I wasn't there in the afternoons for 3 weeks and what I caught was traumatic to listen to. So I started dropping key words and phrases I'd recorded and used them when in conversation with them. The next recording they started turning on each other accusing one of them of talking to me and telling me what they were saying behind my back! Eventually they found out and it stopped. I still have the evidence and they know it! Hilarious, if you do this though you have to have a thick skin it's very difficult to listen to other people's hate towards you.
Unfortunately, in our company, a guy was found hanging in a stairwell very recently. Allegations are he was being bullied by 4 manager's. You don't go to work, surely to do this to people. Bullying needs to stop,these guys should serve time if it's true. R.i.p John Smyth.
To everyone out there dealing with this, you are competent, you aren’t doing anything wrong, and don’t let them dictate your value. Leave as quick as you can and find the next opportunity that values you. Good to see other content creators speaking out again this. -Mr.SmartCity
Remember, if colleagues at work say you’re doing a good job, and you know you’re doing a good job, if your boss is abusing the appraisal system and making it look like you’re not doing a good job, it doesn’t change the truth that yes, you are doing a good job! An individual may abuse their position of ‘power’ but don’t let them start making you doubt your own capabilities.
Amyehme What if the manager has set a different set of expectations? And employees continue to work the same way they have always worked. As a manager, I did not set the expectations to make my team’s life difficult. It was set because i was set for higher expectations.
@@girlfridayonthego6381 Exactly and this hurt me bigtime in a company I just left after 4 and a half years. Now I'm stuck because of that. I didn't know it at the time but the manager was doing the gatekeeper and constant critic tactics and it completely shut me out of advancement.
I had the same experience. I filed the EEO. This male manager was degrading to all the females in the office. When I filed, I asked the females to give testimony on my behalf, and they all declined. One even saying "He has too much power, and knows to many people here." Another saying she needed her job. I was disappointed. My case was dismissed due to prima facie. I was doing the case myself, and could not afford an attorney. Of course the Agency provided the legal team for this terrible manager. After dismissal I found out that he had incidents at other Agencies, and with other females within the Agency. Just before I left they told him that he did not fit their idea of the way the Agency was moving. He told the Agency that he felt that he was being targeted (Karma), and then he swiftly retired. Then he got another job in the same building with D.C. government because he knew some friends there. It is just awful to be bullied. It is so rampant in the Federal government, and is covered up constantly.
Right here with you. Everyone knew, but they either sweeped under the rug or turned a blind eye. Only one stood up for me. That one person is someone I'm always thankful for.
@@reciebrown4941 I am happy to hear someone else has the courage to stand up to these people. I too stood up to a male years ago, I paid the price for it multiple times. I even had witnesses. I worked for a government contractor. I recently experienced mobbing in private sector healthcare. The younger generation seems to be behind the increase in bullying in the workplace.
I needed this so much today! I’m educated, 42 and loved my job. I resigned today with no plan. I just erupted in tears when my boss confronted me stating the untrue accusations formed against me. I just couldn’t take it anymore. It’s devastating!
@@dianestanley6492 Omg. You were being discreet in helping a coworker and that other employee went berserk about stealing? So sad to follow you to another office. There is a special place awaiting.
@@dianestanley6492 I think showing up at another company where you work and slandering you would be classified as stalking and defamation. Know your rights. Sometimes it's worth the $100 or so consultation fee to see a lawyer. Maybe a cease and desist letter (a written warning from a lawyer) would send the coworker the message that if s/he keeps it up, they will get sued.
This literally brought tears to my eyes, recognizing all the tactics that have been launched against me in a professional setting. Thank you so much for this education. I know I am not crazy or 'difficult.'
I once tried to be the funny guy that tried to make my bosses and coworkers laugh. I tried to be a dependable worker that went over and beyond. I didn't pretend to like people I didn't, and give insincere compliments, or pretend to be someone I wasn't. That's my downfall. No appreciation. No respect. I once thought merit would make you successful. It's not possible without trying to be the boss' friend, and her friend's friend too. And being a relative of someone in high places. Life's unfair. You either play the political game or you lose.
I have worked in finance for 17 years. This industry is absolutely saturated with cluster B personality types, psychopaths and narcissists. Bullying is openly permitted. It doesn’t matter which institution you work at, bullies will be abundant in all areas. Management at the top of the organisation, encourage this type of behaviour, and they hire people similar to themselves. I can honestly say I regret having worked in this industry, it has destroyed me. I am a shadow of who I should be. I tend to keep my head down, and try to be the best I can be at my work, at least I can take pride in that. The more you give them, the more you over over deliver, the more you meet their demands, the more they want. I worked 16-18 hour days non stop for 2 years, under intense pressure, and met every single deadline. I told my boss the day I had been diagnosed with cancer, and he did not express a single word of concern. Not even “sorry to hear that”. He simply said “ok, can you send me an email on that you’re working on right now”, and that was that. These people caused me to get cancer, it was induced by stress hormones in my body that eroded my natural hormone levels and this caused the cancer. These peoples are inhumane. Some people like me are stuck in this god forsaken industry because we have no other options, we can’t switch industries bc the market is too competitive. I hope one day bullying will be depleted from the workplace but I know that’s just pipe dream.
I hope you’re doing better now. The reason they don’t care if you die is because that’s what they want, but they know they can’t kill you. So they do everything they can to drive you to do it for them. They’re full of the spirit of murder for people they don’t want to be happy.
those types come with personal questions really quick during your first week at work, trying to squeeze every information about you... when that happens I love playing the "clueless dumb kind", for some reason people take what I say very literally despite the obvious sarcasm at times. "So, are you married?" No. "Do you watch sports?" No. "Do you drink beer?" No. "Damn, this guy's life is miserable as hell, this guy does nothing!" Then they try to make that a joke, in the attempt of making you feeling guilty and "confessing" to something really dirty to be "accepted by the gang", like smoking, prostitution, whatever it might be. You just stand there, poker face, and let they think you are the most boring and lifeless person on earth. Your value doesn't come from others' opinions. At least that's how it works around here in brazil, psychopathy is running rampant. So are the horror and murder movies every week at the theater and netflix. Psychopathy at the touch of your fingers, easy access.
Yup. And it doesn;t matter how good you are at your job! In fact, the better you are, the bigger the threat you are - just like The Hatchet Man's Playbook says!
This breaks my heart that people of authority or just people in general can feel the need to dominate and tear down a person physically and emotionally
People dont believe some of us , but these "people" are mentally damaged. They are very high functioning mentally damaged people who society deems sane. If you were a fly on the wall with some of these people's therapist (and most dont even go to therapist unless they want to learn how to be more toxic) you would be afraid... very afraid. Oooops sorry, I mis spoke...RAID DEAD.
@@wintermatherne2524 Even Americans are anti-American. Wake up and smell the roses. The West is the worst place to live on the planet. The people are awful, rich and poor. These problems aren't heard of on nearly the same scale in Islamic nations, India, Thailand and the phillipines. It's only the West where it is rampant with corruption.
As a supervisor, I think the dumbest thing that any supervisor could do would be to pick on the veteran employee! You need them on the side more than anybody else. Some people are crazy
I was being bullied at work at my current job and the supervisor counseled the two women and sent out a memo about workplace bullying to everyone. First time I've seen a supervisor do that. They usually bury their head in the sand, especially when it's a veteran worker that's the bully, or someone whose a really great worker,, but their personality is a problem.
Anna Good baby. No one should have to go to work be uncomfortable. Every person should have the right to work in peace. Happens to me on every job except my last job. Don't know why I get singled out. I don't bother nobody. Usually its done by females and I'm male.
Love this! Only 3 months into my job and a co worker tried to intimidate my work ethic in front of other workers. An hour later she was doing her fake thing being all nice. I’m older than her and much more experienced in life. I’m gonna continue to put her in her place.
It's inexcusable too, how managers enable bullying or just look away. There was just one manager I had who put a stop to bullying right away. An exceptional woman. What I learned in my career is that strength and cunning too is necessary to survive in some environments. One time I listened at a door after hearing my name mentioned to learn what was going on. I documented it all with names, who said what and turned into HR. Followed up via email with numerous questions and voila the problem went away
I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
This stuff needs to be talked about so that it comes to the forefront of the corporate narrative. It happens a lot! I had a screaming Mimi back in 2008. Its not in my nature to take that kinda crap, so I started fighting back and it only took about a month for me to get fired lol. I look back now and am glad I kept my pride in tact and had support around me, but not everyone has that luxury. Workplace bullying is as important as diversity and gender equality. It can happen to anyone regardless.
I just put up with it for months by my supervisor until it destroyed my self esteem and self confidence. I let fear keep me quiet and the fear of disappointing my friend who had hired me. I didn't want him to know because he thought so much of her. I can't believe I did that. I eventually quit and she's still there and I can't get back the time, tears that were wasted on that crazy lady.
@@dystopian2153 same here Maria :'( I am just coming off of it. I feel so free! Thank God! All these things he is talking about I experienced at the hands of my boss and a colleague.
@@keilalambert1574 I am so glad you're free of this. I lost a lot of money leaving but I'm finally sane again and my spirit is back!! My poor friend is still there and being abused.
@@dystopian2153 The emotional distress she caused me and all the stress allows me to go on a Leave of Absence. Leave of Absence is not paid in my state but I can combine it with time off, Short Term Disability, and Long Term Disability if my leave extends for longer than 12 weeks. The Short Term Disability covers me up to the 12 weeks. Many states pay for the Leave of Absence. You should have your friend look into that. The Leave of Absence protects his job and all benefits. He can at the end of the leave return to work and they have to give him the same position with the same pay and benefits or a similar position. I have no plans or intention to go back working for this woman and I have made this clear to HR. I am going to use the time to look for other positions within the company or outside the company. And this is fine. All I needed to get the Leave of Absence was to let her know that I was not well. I actually was not. That day I had an emotional breakdown and lost control of myself as a result of her bullying and abuse. I have been seeing a therapist and he was aware of all that was going on from the beginning. He is able to back up the fact that I cannot subject myself another day to working for this lady before I lose my mind or be physically ill. If continue, this would not doubt cause me a stroke or heart attack. My Primary Care doctor as well could back this up. It sounds like you should have taken advantage of the Leave of Absence as well. I am now home and getting paid to look for another job. Thanks to her. I only put up with her behavior for two months. I know someone that put up with it for two years and eventually left. I witness her doing to him the same thing she started doing to me. Once he left, then she turned to me. I think she needs that someone at work to abuse, in order to feel in control. I don't know. She is a very sick person. I worked for her for four years and never had an issue but she turned all of the sudden, this past October...
+1 about office clowns who always are jockeying to make a joke and are desperate to be identified as the class clown. If you are funnier than them or more witty their jokes and comments will turn toward you. You are a threat and are stealing their thunder in their minds. Attention seeking office clowns want to be the center of attention.
Good for you. Sometimes, being a business owner is more satisfying and fulfilling than working for someone else. Many people are afraid of going on their own though, and live lives of quiet desperation.
I am naturally a passive person, and I was previously involved with being gas-lighted and "bullied" at work for a long time. I was a regular associate and worked my way into management, only to get manipulated even more. You become a target to these kinds of people if you allow them to do it to you. How one can avoid these kinds of situations is by practicing boundaries and setting them accordingly. Do not get involved in the politics involved with these toxic people, and point out these things and set boundaries in the very beginning of the work related relationship. Boundaries in work life and home life are so important and aren't exemplified enough... Once I started career related therapy and behavioral therapy I learned how to set proper boundaries everything in my world changed, there was a sense of respect and a difference in the way co-workers communicated with me. I will honestly say those times were hard, but I learned so much from it
or the two headed snake who acts like everyone's friend and tries to divide the other coworkers with rumors and lies those are the ones you must watch out for notice they will be very agreable and seem genuine and friendly this is a marage they'll use you as a tool or as stepping stone. Generally passive aggresive and remember if they gossip about others they gossip about you too
Yep I’ve encountered one. It was love bombing at first. And when I didn’t side with her to hate on another person just because she doesn’t like him she started turning others against me. I was happy working there until she came along and made the environment so toxic. She transferred to another department eventually and then I started hearing rumors about her activities. As it turns out, she pissed off the wrong person (boss).
My boss is this! I am going through this right now! She is making me miserable. I am her supervisor and I am constantly undermined on a daily and she is famous for twisting the narrative to make it look like I am not doing my job. I’m miserable!
my boss was a combination bully. she had traits of two types. the screaming mimi and the constant critic. she wasn't smart, at all, and she lied and cheated her way to being a manager.
Me too but, as a lawyer, I still have to with all those lunatics in cases and in court 🙄 What a nightmare ..... lawyers are the worst sub-humans I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet 🤮
I am in graduate psychology school and finally landed a practicum site at a non-profit organization housed in this cute little Victorian. Immediately, I knew something was very wrong. I was shuffled back and forth from one supervisor to another--and in the end--by the time they got their claws in--I was suicidal. They would fire me--but not do it in writing like my university required...and just endlessly screw with me. If I do not complete practicum with a passing grade, I don't get my master's degree, period. So they have a lot of power. I went to an outside therapist and she told me I was being subjected to "adult bullying". Psychopaths-all of them. Worst part? This is supposed to be a "helping profession"! Sick.
Where may I purchase this book. ( I have experienced all what you discuss and lost my self esteem and confidence so I truly understand. I mow in my 60 plus and it is still happening to me at work. So I just retired. Can not bring myself to go. I shake in fear
Hi Peggy, I just randonly have come accross your comment and I have gone through the exact same thing as you but here in the UK same Masters-placement pass or fail. Never in my life have I met such dangerous vindictive people. Like you said they are meant to be in a helping profession it is absolutley shocking. Would love to chat to you some more to exchange experiences.
wow a helpful profession and they are bullying. words cant express that trajic mentality. Maybe working at a church would be a place where bullying does not exist or silly rumor mongering. why dont you talk to a professional and protect yourself from these bastiges. power is corrupt but its not in all places thankGod. people get restless and it makes them feel powerful but unfortunately it comes back to them so dont worry about that. Its unbelievable that people are so unhappy that they try to make others unhappy but this is a repercussion of the hierarchy and promotions and that corporate ladder crap- people can be really cruel and I see it not only in school but gross work places which are many with this type of infection of the brain. people are always trying to be the center of attention and its sad because you are suppossed to get that in other places
Good for you! You don't have to work anywhere where you are not respected. I'm sure your workplace bully is torturing somebody else now. When I stopped working I was in my late 50's, but would get filled with anxiety thinking about applying for another corporate position. Now I know why.
I’m being bullied at age 57. Can’t even believe it. I’ve reported it, requested schedule change etc. only to find out management is friends with bully, now they are trying to get rid of me geesh
Absolutely. 9 times out of 10 when a boss says they are hearing complaints about you, there aren't any. They do this to add weight to their personal problem with you.
Absolutely 100% accurate, especially their tactics of charmingly disarming you to expose your vulnerability, and striking you when you are at your least able moments
im dealing with bullying at work its a terrible experience to go thru workplaces in my opionion are getting worse in the last 25 years its probably better to have my own business and be my own boss
This is EXACTLY why I'm starting my own business. This is a MAJOR problem in the U.S that needs to be remedied. Too many emotionally unhealthy & unstable people are allowed in supervisory roles just because of who they know instead of what they can do. This results in high turnover which results in more man hours being spent in recruiting and training that other wise could be used building and expanding a company's brand.
I have noticed that too, I think it's in part due to the lack of moral teaching, the internet (intensifies competition and envy) and a sense of entitlement.
It's not productive but I turn the tables when I can. There are workplace bullies everywhere I've worked, at least one. I had one "lady" tell me quietly ( I already had her figured out) "I make people cry sometimes. I'm just blunt like that and that is how I am." I turned around and said, "I was so blunt at the last place I worked a man hung himself when he got home. Making people cry is kid's play..." To this day she walks circles around me but bullies the crap out of others. I hate to see her do it but it's not my fight. The bully's game is to intimidate and put you into submission. No one has time for that. Bullies are damaged people that refuse to see it and come to the workplace to play games. Sad really..
I've never understood people not going out of their way to get along with others at work. We spend so much of our lives in our careers, why would anyone want to make it miserable? I'm trapped where I am because I desperately need the great health insurance we're given, and there aren't many other options right now. I'm being treated terribly by the veteran coworker and her followers, not being trained and it's the most unwelcome I've ever felt anywhere. Going to the boss will surely make these behaviors worse by a lot. It's a group of ADULT females just bullying me. It's catty and horrific. Honestly causing me so much anxiety I don't know what to do. Praying something good opens up and I find something else. I feel for anyone dealing with this stuff at work. 😣
Thank you so much for this concise breakdown of workplace bullying. As a victim of bullying you become so beat down you think it’s you, and you start to question yourself and you actually start to feel unworthy. Hearing your description of what I just dealt with for 8 months was more helpful than you could realize. Thank you ☺️
You forget one thing, Dr. Gary Namie. Those bully types may not be necessarily illegal, but they're all acts of pure evil in the workplace! No doubt about it!
Absolutely. I was stalked by an attractive young guy at work, he had to be fired and I developed PTSD. Lame fat security guard, named John who had work prostitutes in his own office, corrupt prior cop, has ever since threatened my life severely. He knows aggressive repulsive guys, sickens them onto me. Has been going on for over 13 years. Has people attack me as if I was one of the work prostitutes he hangs around with. Nasty, vile, repulsive. My relationship choices exist with smart interesting people, he has openly threatened my good reputation and sickens nasty ugly repulsive guys in my way. Totally nasty psychopath nutjob. Very dangerous, the people he knows are pure trash. Birds of a feather I guess.
Get a digital recorder because most bullies attack when you are alone. Take really good care of yourself and make sure you have a lot of fun. Do not tell them who your friends are at work because they will scoop them up on their side and isolate you. Get your sleep and go to the dentist to make sure you are not grinding your teeth. If you cannot sleep take sleepy time tea from the grocery store. Avoid the bullies as much as possible.
Let me reiterate what Dr. Gary Namie said, bullies thrive on control and vulnerability. They're threatened by your skills and your good-naturedness. Its' nothing more than a game to them, and to make themselves look good to the higher ups by putting you in a negative light for kicks. Your educated mind, skill, and good-natured well-liked attitude is your only weapon against them. In short, take away the control away and you take away the power from the bully! Its not easy, but it can be done.
Ms Jreneful thats easy. People who are bullies usually suck in their real life out of work. They are the lame ones who actually gets ignored and overlooked. At the work place they have to create an environment to feel purposeful an environment that ceases to exist when they leave the office. The purpose to a bully is to bully you to make you feel lesser than them thats the control have to take away. Reverse psychology always works. Instead of feeling threatened by what they do, add to it. Make yourself look bad beat them to it agree with them eventually they would have no power. The trick is to not let them see you are affected, don't fight back. If your boss gives you an impractical deadline don't fight back, when he comes for your work beat him to it and say I'm so incompetent I'm not doing my best. Say the worse about yourself therefore anything he says actually look like a compliment. You feel me?
marie rajbally I understood but that’s not my personality. I can do the not fighting back part but the incompetent and beating myself up part; nope. I’m not putting that much effort to make myself look bad simply because I’m good at what I do. This is just exhausting.
Been emotionally traumatized by a female co-worker in my new job. I work as a panelist in a group setting and have to sit next to her or near her day after day. I thought I was going crazy so I am so thankful to come across this video and WBI. At first I thought I could figure it out and solve the issue directly with the Bully. You know do the mature thing by asking her what's the problem is and have I offended you? What can I do to make our relationship at work better approach. The approach failed. Total denial and then of course, the bullying got worse after that. Now it seems she's out to turn others against me while being overly nice to them. They certainly don't want to get on her bad side. It's working and those that use to be friendly to me are now ignoring me. It's all got me thinking I'm a freak. Thanks to this video and the website I understand better now. I think it is too late to win this war. I feel I've lost and I don't even know why it happened. So painful to go through. Thinking it is time to quit since the stress has me coming home in tears everyday and dreading the next work day.
It's been a year already, so I don't know if this would be of any help. But I'm going to reply based on my own very painfully acquired experience - she's effing SCARED of you. You probably don't realize how good/competent you are and what potentials you have. She on the other hand sees it all and probably has been trying for a long while to get something you already have but don't even place that much premium on. The only way to silence her insecurity is to make you look bad to others. Something else you should know - those other people don't hate you. They don't even dislike you; they may even low key like and admire you. However, they fear her more than they like you. Let that sink for a minute.
brown eyed I am experiencing the exact same situation at work as BT ( the commenter above) and your response was so helpful...I want to thank you. I start to think everyone at my workplace hates working with me, but in reality they just don’t want to get on the wrong side of the bully. My bully is an older nurse, overweight, divorced twice, highly judge-mental of others. I have a good stable marriage, strong skills, likeable fun personality. I care about others and am generally well liked. I believe my bully is simply jealous. She uses so much energy to bully me, I can feel the hate radiating from her. It’s sad. As a nurse, I just cope by giving all my attention and energy to the patients I serve. Thanks again for your helpful comments.
@@jenm9027 You don't know what your feedback means to me. Now I'm grateful for what I had to go through if that meant I could throw light unto someone else's journey. Keep your light shining and darkness just has to give way. Wishing you strength as you keep doing all that you do.
Hey here in 2020. Appreciate this because it really made me see the truth. I was working in the ER as a PA. I was surpassing the the prior more experienced ER PAs and getting bonuses and accolades. When was asked to present at the supervisor’s office I thought I was going to be commended for getting the door to doc time down but instead I was told that I did not know how to treat common disease such as hypertension and COPD. I was asked “ to do the right thing and quit”. I was told that a very common medication that treats hypertension wasn’t unused to treat hypertension. Crazy! And the patient was on the medication for hypertension. I was so confused and shocked! It has been over two years since that has happened and I’ve questioned myself everyday. Before this and after I’ve seen and treated numerous patients successfully but to this day I still feel inferior, incompetent and belittled. However, given this information in this video things seem a little more clear. Thank you
I was bullied at work by the person I report to. He wouldn't even address me by my name. The first thing the admin lady told me when I walked into the office building 3 months ago was that he can be a little grumpy at times. I didn't get it then. Then I slowly realised what that meant. As days went by, I got really stressed about going to my workplace and facing this man. He never treated me with respect. It was as if he was never happy with whatever I did. Always dissatisfied and frustrated. I am a graduate engineer and when I was hired I was told I would receive a lot of training in this position. I received nothing, and in fact he was so busy that he expected me to just share his workload. I learnt a newly released software on my own which he wasn't even very familiar with. I did my best to learn and deliver at the same time. I was working overtime (which I wasn't paid for) as he never had time to review my work until 5:00 p.m. And I decided to quit. A week ago I gave my resignation. He became worse. The director of the company who was present at my interview with my line manager gave me a surprise visit and pulled me into an office room without notice. At the end of the conversation, she told me very "nicely" that I could talk to my manager and leave early if I wanted to. I did not take the hint. I was being dumb. Since my resignation, there were two instances he picked to point fingers at me but I ended up being right in both. He never apologised. And just yesterday morning, he walked in grumpy saying he thinks I am not interested in this job anymore and I can bring my final day forward to yesterday. He also hinted that the company is wasting money on me. So it was clear. The management just wanted me to leave. I wasn't going to stay after this. I sent an email to the HR confirming yesterday as my last day. He just said good luck for future. It's a shame that I didn't have anything to tell him. I was speechless. So I just left. No goodbyes at all. I came home feeling relieved. Last night, I had the best sleep I have had in a while. I don't know what I am going to do. But I now know that dignity, self-respect and mental health is more important than anything else sometimes.
Bullying is not fun, I think that the Government needs to implement harsh sanctions on all those company who allows these type of act on and employees who is doing there best, This has got to stop. Too many are loosing their lives over the stress of bullying.
LeaH John good GOD, grow up. 'The government should' should be stricken from everyones vocabulary. Who decides who is the bully? Your idea is terrifying. How about you consider that the governments job is NOT to mandate behavior.
Your best isnt good enough and thats why we yell. Because we are tired of doing your job too. Ive observed behavioralism and the one crying about it are always the lazy one. Their hands stop moving when they talk. they freeze up under stress. Meanwhile, the one screaming is wondering why you havent started moving yet. Its dedication, commitment, and putting your best foot forward and business owners can see that in the more dominant employees.
Thank you for your insight. It is really sad that there are people who go out of their way to make the lives of others at work turn upside down. When I report to work, I focus on doing my job, nothing more, nothing less. There is no room to bother others.
I just had this happen to me. I was in my position for 12 years, won awards, always made my deadlines, & did what I could to make sure all were accommodated. I've never even had a bad review. However, I've dealt with slandering and gaslighting from an HR director for quite a while. He bad mouthed me to every new supervisor before they met me. A new boss with the same personality who touts herself as an "expert" was added a year ago. The abuse dramatically increased. She was extremely jealous of my work. Departments refused to work with her and told her they were going through me from now on. The environment became indescribably hostile. When I filed a harassment claim against the new boss last week, they fired me three days later. They said I had no proof but the HR Director only questioned one person. I had begged for help three times over the past year. The insomnia, panic attacks, blood pressure spikes & various other medical issues grew. They used my own claim against me in the write-up. As of this Tuesday, I am unemployed after 12 years of pouring my heart and soul into my work. I can't describe the way I feel.
I am dealing with someone who is desperate to make herself look good at my expense. My naive self didn't realize until it was too late. I'm saddened how much we have to work to protect ourselves at work.
I was bullied relentlessly for months before I was thankfully sacked. Apparently I had made 'no progress' in 12 months. How do you make 'progress' if someone is screaming at you from before 0930 out of earshot of others, making angry gestures at you while the office is full and screaming at you again when the office is empty. After being sacked I made a decision never to work for a company again and became self employed. Now I am making 4 times my old salary, working and worked some of the most inspiring people I have ever met and have had the chance to work in Barcelona, The Netherlands, Belgium and London. Sounds sad, but I recently emailed my old company using an email address of one of my Belgian clients describing in detail my bully's behaviour and recently found he has left the company - either sacked or just embarrassed to be outed as a bully. Regardless I am now happy at work and in a position to simply walk out of a role at the drop of a hat if I come across animals like that again.
What I do when faced with a "screaming Mimi" is to simply look offended and reply in an indignant way, "Excuse me?!" And then if the person yells at me again, I repeat my retort even more forcefully and disbelievingly, and then when I'm hollered at a third time, I simply stand my ground and calmly say something like, "Well, there's no need to shout; I was going to do that, anyway. All you had to do was ask me in a normal voice", or, "I do not believe that you have grounds to talk to me that way", or, "Excuse me, but do you have the authority to tell me to do that?", or, "I will be more than happy to do as you ask, but could you please say that a little more nicely?"
Well said and very interesting! I’ve learned the hard way recently to: NEVER have a meeting in work without a witness present. Keep a record of EVERYTHING that is ever done to you no matter how small or stupid it may seem. DO NOT assume that management or HR will back you even if you’re doing the right thing by flagging up an issue to them. HR are never neutral, no matter how nice they seem just remember they work for the company. Don’t STRESS yourself out by doing more than your paid to do, if you do your job too well you’ll eventually be asked to do more and more until your doing other people’s too even taking on managerial responsibilities. Basically give LESS f🙊ks and take NO shit! You are always replaceable no matter how hard you’ve worked for them! Especially when their treatment of you begins to affect your mental and physical health... by then your just used goods to them.
I watched this video in advance of my meeting yesterday with HR. It really gave me strength and I represented myself well. I'm super grateful that you make this information easily available.
My mother was a screamer & a constant critic. She would 'strike' whenever I was vulnerable. Always. I grew up feeling paralyzed. When I went into the military and encountered a boss who was a bully I reverted back to my previous behavior of being paralyzed. Fortunately, that was 20+ years ago and I have developed strategies on assertiveness. However, I am so happy to have found your channel and can't wait to learn more!
I'm really glad that I found this channel on youtube. The topics that are being spoken about describe everything that I'm currently going through with my employer . Being a Veteran dedicated to doing my job and making friends, I'm now defending myself from acts of workplace bullying. Who would have ever thought someone would take the time to put another person through this type of treatment.
I’m a veteran also and people are forever threatened and jealous of my experience I can’t catch a break anywhere. Been at the job 3 months and my numbers are already better than my coworkers. I stay focused and keep my head down. It is difficult at times, and everyone knows don’t play with me cause I well shut them down in a professional way. Military taught me how to handle stress and get the job done.
I used to be like that I would let things and people get me down and walk all over me now I am older and less tolerant to peoples bullshit I literally eat people like this for breakfast by literally mirroring there behaviour and showing I am not someone to be messed around with and while it took a while its a breath if fresh air when someone tries to make you look like a fool and you just turn it around on them.
So happy to have reached retirement age so I could finally leave this arena. I had them all. It was a miserable chapter in my life.Wish I'd known about this during those tough years.Better luck to those still at it. Don't let yourselves be pushed around.Fight back!
"Beware of a hugger, while they're embracing you they're basically just going up and down your rib cage looking for a place to stick in the shiv." Best joke I've heard all week! Thank you so much for sharing your insight with us. Delightful video.
Yep, my workplace bully is a technology challenged 65+ year old who was "absolute top of her class in university" who "Doesn't have enough time in the day to explain things to someone so stupid" (Her words.) She constantly undermines me because I've excelled and taken our company in a different direction to stay up to date (I'm 31 and I've tripled last years sales within my first 6 months of hire by moving things online.) Just because I don't do things 'her way' doesn't mean that I'm not producing results...
Let yourself hate yourself so much that you bore yourself with it. One day you wakeup and you have had enough. Yaye your back. Get a job before you leave a job, especially if you have been traumatised.
Oh, but they DO! It’s generally done with a goal in mind. I had to deal with several types of these bullies in a contract-to-hire situation about 10 years ago, and eventually I was fired, where a constructive dismissal was used by the “manager” of which I have vowed that should our paths cross again at the same employer, I will make damned sure they have a bad go of things. This is someone that had no business being put in charge of anyone.
I wish you had spoken about the personal nit picker. I once dealt with a person who spent a lot of time picking me to death so much I think it was harassment. This wasn't about anything related to work. And the things he did were so small that I would look trivial for pointing out any one of them. I once bumped my head and said 'Doh.' He grouched at me for making a weird noise. Another time I pronounced a name wrong and he grouched at me. Finally, I he asked for directions to a place. I gave him them. The next day he yelled at that there was a shorter way. When these things happen to you EVERY DAY they wear on you. Management did nothing.
Wow!!! When you said about 'the hugger!' That massively resonated with me. So that's what my manager was doing... it's clicked! Disgusting to back stab someone when they are struggling with long term health issues.
Had a combo two-headed snake/constant critic about ten+ years ago. I still think I’m processing the trauma. Absolutely awful situation. Didn’t know until she left many other people felt the same way, were just too afraid of her to say anything. Watching this video and reading the comments has been cathartic - I’m not the only one.
I work in a Warehouse and I’ve been bullied and harassed at work and the management never does anything. I’ve contacted Human Resources and they basically said I need to not talk to my bullies but the bullies don’t leave me alone even when I’m just working and minding my own business. Most these guys who bully me are miserable human beings who hate me because I’m a smart guy who works hard and is well liked amongst most of the employees. They are classless, arrogant, angry, miserable human beings who hate their job and their life’s. I’ve thought about hiring a lawyer and suing but I don’t want more trouble in my life.
This is really helpful - as someone whos studied organizational behavior and a victim of workplace harrassment both in and out of the workplace this clearly categorizes some of the strategies workplace bullies use!!
I can relate this to one of my coworkers who complained about the deadlines, the workload, not being able to ask for help or ask questions. But the fact is that she is just lazy and incompetent.😂 She needs people watching her doing simplest math, needs people to help her on step to step instructions, never take notes and comes to you every time when she need to do her work and acts like she never knew how to do her job. It’s wasting people’s time and make other coworkers feel like doing her job. This type of person who doesn’t respect other people’s time, not appreciate others help is also a workplace bully
Thank you for sharing! Thank you for being courageous to talk about these ongoing types of bullies at work environments. On point on so many levels. Thank you , thank you !!! I have experienced all of these types of misconductive behavior, while the new manager whom I am to report to have been in a long time conflict my previous manager. My previous manager wrote a very negative annual evaluation where my credibility has been distorted. Now I am like a chess pawn where the new manager is trying to deceptively use my experience to build a case to report on the previous manager. Previous manager has his trusted advisor ( aka admin assist) to report All doings, reject All of my ideas and questionings, and she doesn't answer any questions I may have...she leaves me hanging looking like a fool during chats. She is cold, distance, answer with one word answers, and plays the dumb card when the new manager asks for input...this is the culture that was exemplified ' good mentorship' and was highly appraised from my previous manager. It boils my blood and there is no justice!!! All at the same time, the previous manager asked me to report the new Manager's behavior so that he can bud a case against him and report. I am not protected, so I am trying to stay clear of the both managers way. Oh gosh, I feel like I am in a mess with two unprofessional managers who are trying leverage on subordinates to climb the ladder. I have got to find a better place for safety ground. I have exhausted my patience and have to remain professional at all times, and I believe in high integrity. I would have nightmares about my work and getting punished in my dreams, waking up terrified, and feeling at a loss of where did I go wrong. It is comforting and a relief to hear you bring this types of misconductive behavior into light!!! Can there be anything done?
I worked for the MAJOR hospital in Washington state. I was bullied by another co worker from my first interview, I actually got the job and from that point on it was hell. All the workers were unionized so they could not be touched without significant litigation. This person that bullied me actually had been fired and lost her job, THEN GOT IT BACK with the union. She made up a lie about me, and my boss told me I had to go to HR and APOLOGIZE to this person who bullied me. HR told me she has a long history of doing this and nothing can be done, but I did nothing wrong, so I was ok. From this point on my boss did everything he could to stifle me, while using me to fit his needs. I came in on my days off to do tasks he could have done, sacrificed my personal life, I was passed up for promotion, when it did come to another promotion he told me my 4's and 9's did not look good on paper so I wasnt deserving of classification. He himself fabricated mistakes I made, so I presented the evidence to him (documentation) showing that was false, he insisted he was right despite the obvious. Finally I was classified but it was only to extend my hours to use me during floor transitions. I was forced to resign 1 month before I would have had union protection. I had a 3 month old daughter, and my partner had just quit to take care of our daughter full time. I had my national license and a college degree, also the youngest, only one other tech had my credentials. I was targeted and ejected to satisfy a sociopath who ran the department de facto. Learned alot about the reality of work at this time. Anyway sorry to rant.
Sean Bailey it has happened to me too..I got bullied to an extent that I did not want to go to work and often thought of taking my life as I thought maybe it was me. I even ended up in hospital and only few months later I came to know that my husband had rang my nurse unit manager and informed what was happening but in the end the bully won and nothing was done ..the DON gave the bully a hug I was so confused..I am still being bullied by him and he has been complained about his bullying behaviour by other staff and nothing is being done. Only yesterday he bullied me and had me in tears witnessed by other staff and when I was alone in treatment room he came and appologised to me for his behaviour and tried to give me a hug when another nurse walked in and witnessed it.. I am 55 years old and need this job as I have a mortgage to pay ...who will want to employ a 55 year old as I am a general nurse with no post grad qualification.. but I am proud to be a nurse and love my current job and I am an excellent hard working nurse and very efficient nurse and my bully can’t take that away from me...most of all I have a very supportive husband whose hugs on a bad shift makes me forget everything until the next shift I go on to when he is rostered.. it’s true they say bully wins and victim loses ..well that is what is happening at my work...
I remember a time when I said something and it was intrepeted wrong by my boss because she thought I was trying to undermine her when I was only trying to improve the morale for everyone. go figure in the workplace n stuff- sheesh mgeesh!
Sean, I can relate, I was mobbed at a major Seattle hospital. Its a long story, but can tell you it was extremely severe and I now have ptsd as a result.
wow this guy broke down workplace bullying to a T. He hit the nail right on the head. What a strong point especially at 2:38 when he said the primary tactic is to misuse the performance appraisal system. My God this guy did a grandiose job at explaining workplace bullying in such a sensible way. God bless.
I had a supervisor who always told me “bad news” just as I am about to go to a vacation or just as the work day/week was over! I knew that wasn’t a coincidence.they want me to think and worry about it the whole time I was away!
The only way for me is to find another job fast and then instantly quit the job that got you bullied. It's happening to me right now its stressing me out, and i cry every night when someone is being mean to me. And i doubt the boss will do anything about it cause they're all like this to me.
It's fine now. Bullying has subsided a lot since May. I just had to be nice to the bully and if they're bossy, then still listen to what they want you to do even though they're not the manager. Then after that they'll leave you alone.
Friar Tuck Don't worry. At first i think they hated me cause i was a newbie and sometimes newbies don't know what they're doing and they go rolling eyes behind my back. But eventually they get used to you. It was so bad when i first started. If you're a bad worker, you'll definitely get bullied. But since i know way around, they won't find me annoying.
Yes, this is good. I have known all of them. I find the statement about the bully being able to change tactics, even within the same meeting, to be so true. And the types here apply not only to the workplace but also to the way that bullying can be enacted in the classroom. There was a science teacher- young, handsome, knowledgeable, efficient, self-righteous, utterly without humour, and with no compassion for those who for one reason or another, were struggling. He never actually SCREAMED; his voice was venomous and his comments corrosive. He had it within his power to destroy a student's future employment by whispering behind their back.....so he did. When he withheld, by refusing to have a child in the class, it was, of course, the child who was in dire need of positive affirmation. If he found anything to praise in a student's work, then that student would go into a state of jitters, knowing that their achievement would be used, within the following sentence, to humiliate someone who had done less well. How does a person in their early twenties, get to be such an intimidating monster? His efficiency pleased his superiors. He rose up the ladder fast, and was soon headmaster of a large school. He died young.
I'm a doctor but I was made to work as a receptionist.. I totally lost confidence in me. It was really toxic. Today I took this step to resign for my mental health.. though I don't have another job in hand, I had to take this step. I hope I'll get a good job next 😇
I worked with 2 of the female two headed snake types, they were best friends but would run each other down behind the others back. It was a small Doctor's office all female staff but it was an unbearably hostile environment .I'll NEVER work in an "unmanned" office again, some women are so VICIOUS.
I had this lady who has a huge power trip. She was more inline with the 'gate keeper' mentality. I played this video few tables away from her on my cell phone in the break room and she looked sort of disturbed and bailed out when the host of this video was about halfway through the discussion on the gate keeper. I just laughed so hard!
He said she said bullying is basically the one that encourages smear campaigns. And the smear campaigns can make the target look like the screaming meemie type by trying to manipulate you to react first They wanted to ruin my life, career and spirit by playing the victim
Great presentation. I think we're programmed as human beings to be trusting of others, to defer to the supposed good judgement of those in positions of authority. Bullies seem to use this as an open door to operate outside the bounds of acceptable human respect, then eventually destroy that person's peace and self-worth for the sake of their personal agenda. It's a hard lesson to learn, that respect is not often forthcoming, and that we need to keep our power, keep our wits about ourselves, and know when to leave when we have to. All bullies eventually have to answer for their unkind, humiliating actions.
our workplace bully just got fired on Monday. now I sing on my way to work, everyday
PiranhaJaw22 I want to sing too, hopefully soon
Congratulations!!!!
I hope one day I can sing! 😆
PiranhaJaw22, Great stuff! 👍
Congrats, unfortunately, this is not the norm, most times it is those being bullied that end up getting fired, so huge congrats to you and to the person that took their responsibility seriously enough to do something to restore a harmonious work environment and protecting other employees.
I attract alot of workplace bullies. I feel like they are intimidated by me and try to make me look incompetent. Its tough dealing with those situations without losing face, getting depressed or reacting inappropriately. I think I'm learning though. It is just draining and upsetting. Thanks for posting.
Hope you are doing well, and same for me. How is your current situation?
I've had fantastic workplaces, but also seem to sometimes attract covert bullies. I'm a good worker, I know that, and have been told at every former workplace. I'm skilled at both practical and intellectual tasks and have both experience and high formal education. But I'm also a bit shy and agreeable, but well liked. I am everything I suspect my boss wishes he was. He is a skilled salesman and visionary, but is far from an intellectual or practical person. He is also highly insecure, and this seems to come out on me. But always in very hard to catch, wrapped in friendly banter - type of way. Very hard to respond to appropriately. Almost all of it follows the theme of making me out to be WAY less competent than I am, doubting me, micromanaging and pointing out irrelevant "flaws" about my private life decicions. Comments about my clothes, insinuating that I've lied or misunderstood something obvious, suggesting how I should spend my free time. Very boundery breaking, but always disguised as "advice".
It's like he has made up an alternate reality about me (and others) as a socially inept, hopeless loser that only can become someone of worth through his guidance. It really messes with my confidence some days.
@Kyra Senchyshak You said it right there "instead of changing their own behaviour". That is the essence of the issue. Instead of taking responsibility for their own issues and actions - like adults should - they still emotionally function a lot like a young child, refusing to take responsibility, and instead pushing their issue onto others. I'm not saying that in a derogatory way, either. I comes from a place of hurt, and it's probably almost entirely unconscious to them.
I don't think the want to be, or even realize how toxic they are to others. That takes a lot of insight to see. Growing up emotionally takes empathy, insight, understanding and responsability - traits that are still rare in the human race. But we are working on getting there! :)
True even corporate HR also don't do anything on such things
Its few dirty greddy humam tendncy spoiling work environments..
it never ends. Many are setup to find your weaknesses or things to annoy or deflate you. The happy bubbly type makes them feel bad and annoys them. So they attack you.
@@fromeveryting29 hi Julian, i was really interested to read your comments about your bosses boundary breaking comments disguised as advice.. how are things now? Did it effect your self esteem or could you see it for what it was? Sounds like there is alot of 'projection' going on from this person.
One of the reasons why I have always wanted to work from home. Adults can be just as toxic as teenagers.
@Tavari I’ve always said this. Literally graduated from HS to encounters this whenever I go 😭
I havw had a work from home job I jist left and it was still fucking toxic honestly. Micro management and put u down infront of colleagues on Teams calls . Say your work is shit. Proper dickead cew
Lets jus say TEAMS. Lol...u must b new. They r ALWAYS watching 2 pick u apart. 🙏🏽
I work remotely and I'm being bullied by my boss. Its more isolating and harder to gain allies when you work from home. It's the worst working experience I have ever had which is saying a lot. I am 42 years old I have been working since I was 16 at a number of jobs in various industries. Workplace Bullying can happen to anyone, anywhere because narcissistic types are everywhere
I've noticed men in the UK don't mature past teenage. They stay the same dress the same act the same. It's terrible
I just quit my job yesterday. Don't have anything lined up , however the weight that was lifted off my shoulders was one of the best feelings I've felt in a long time.
I hope you are in a better place
I'm getting the hell out of my crazy job one week from today.
Yahooo!! 🥳
When a boss lets the workplace bully (and the hot blonde he's secretly attracted to) run the place...
IT'S TIME TO GO!!!
👋
same now.
Am proud of you for having the courage to exit.i am going through a lot at work am trusting God to have the courage
Me too. I was bullied and discriminated twice. Why usa work place is toxic.......dont lose you hope. Emotional well being is imp.
Never, ever, be afraid to stand up to your coworkers, or even your boss. Good or bad, make your case. I've seen horrible employees keep their job, and I've seen good employees get fired.
True.the moment u show fear u finished.
I've seen more than one 💩🦃 boss get knocked T.F. out too!
@@metalbelles3662 Damned if you do; damned if you don't. Hopefully a person can be at the right company or create their own.
@@PorchHonkey I am sure this brave subordinate got sent to jail and fired with cause. It feels great in the moment, but that can royally hurt you more than you hurt your boss.
@@JoesVinylShow1980 All boils down to where a man's principles lie.
if someone makes your job this miserable....move on. you deserve better than a toxic enviroment.
Easier said than done. You know that.
I feel that it depends. Running isn't always a solution.
Work is a slave they don't pay me back money at the old job
Yea you can't let someone get that much power over you. Just let them do what they do and the people at your job will see how they are.
Not easy if you got fired from the last job from another bully. HR won't give you another chance unless you stuck around for years
I have witness workplace bullying that was so bad that workers suffered heart attacks , strokes, death and attempted suicide. A silent KILLER at BEST!!!! When is "BULLYING" going to be considered a "CRIMINAL ACT" punishable by the LAW????
Angelina Pingitore it already is. It just depends on the tactics that they use which determines the legality but some verbal abusers deserve to have their teeth knocked down their throats in some cases and the legal system needs to take it more seriously because it has been scientifically proven to cause brain damage and other physical ailments. That can make it an indirect form of physical assault and who ever came up with the adage “sticks and stones....” was a simple minded schmuck. That is why in certain subcultures saying the wrong thing to somebody can get a person killed. It can register as damage in the physical body and/or it can pave the way for direct physical assault.
Quite agree Angelina bullying does kill, and it could be considered manslaughter surely? I will never forget reading about a lady academic, possibly working at some university, the bullying became so bad she took her life. I had tears in my eyes when her published note contained something along the lines of "that she could not exist in a world that could allow such cruelty"...can't be precise, but I think that says it all. Her words have stayed with me.
The new manager we got had heart attacks themselves...guess they were trying to put those on us too.
Usually those types of phychos OWN the business either started themselves from family money or just born into it.
Yes, but what is considered as bullying. If a boss tells the worker 'put your act together, because you are not good at your job'? That's not a bullying if the worker is lazy. It's hard to determine for an outsider what is bullying and what's not. By the way the biggest bullies at work always are the laziest and the most useless.
I use to think I’m the problem then I realize it’s the world I live in. Majority of people are driven by self interest.
Fearnoevil2017 Yes, I didn't realize how self centered the world is until fairly recently. How naive I was.
Majority of people are driven by hate
In my experience, the majority of people are not driven by self-interest or hate but there is a large minority that is. It only takes one person like that to create an issue.
I think the biggest issue I've noticed is that most people are pretty spineless when dealing with bullies. It is easier to support the bully than to confront them.
It is why I think bullies hold a lot of power over their victims because they can get other people to shun or mistreat the victim. I don't think the people going along with it are hateful just scared of being the next target.
Without self interest we wouldn't be where we are today.
Got fed up with being picked on - help somebody they tell managment - so they look good ( asking for help ) and that who they asked - useless . Happened several times -0 then turned it around - as the self interest which they wanted a value of somewhere around $20,000,000 - at least .
Until they clear the shit up - prosecute and the compensation paid to me - they getting diddly squat .
Got several of those - no documentation remains
Female dominance is common in today's workplaces, and these are, in my opinion, the most toxic and prone to bullying. Passive-aggressive and potentially seething or glowing of hatred for several years, since they're not capable of resolving issues in a steadfast manner. Don't degrade yourself to the bullies' inferiority. Keep doing what you know is right and try to find peace of mind and consolation in nature, pets, relations, literature, role models, spiritual growth and taking care of your diet, exercise and sleep. Stoic principles are helpful. You can forgive, but don't forget. See your job as a purely transactional endeavour. You can be enthusiastic and have that spark, despite all the haters around you.
I saw a therapist once for workplace bullying. She told me “ it’s just a job”. She wasn’t minimizing my emotional distress from being bullied but to say I don’t have to tolerate such abuse. She’s right. Love yourself enough to know you can do better by surrounding yourself in positive work environments.
Your therapist? She is spot on....
It's just a job? Yes... how do you pay your bills if you can't get a new job quickly. It's better to get rid of the bully rather than let the bully further ruin your life
Where do you find those positive work environments...
Often I find that the bully doesn’t think they’re the bully - beware
So so true
They're psychopaths
They also see themselves as the victim
They tell everyone that you're the bull, so it's one more reason for everyone to hate you.
Then someone has to inform them.
Two-headed snake is an early hugger. Surprisingly accurate.
Orianna yup nurses are the worst
@@orianna9200 My story as well, Orianna. I didn't work in the medical field though. However, I've been dealing with them for more than a decade 🤢.
Totally!!!
@Carolina1 LOL. It kind of makes me nervous that they are bullying in a nice way. New Category: The Nice Bully, or Bullies Who Kill with Kindness
I’m a nurse I’ve seen so much
Many are very pathologically sick and need help
It’s sad
I left my phone on record at work when I wasn't there in the afternoons for 3 weeks and what I caught was traumatic to listen to. So I started dropping key words and phrases I'd recorded and used them when in conversation with them. The next recording they started turning on each other accusing one of them of talking to me and telling me what they were saying behind my back! Eventually they found out and it stopped. I still have the evidence and they know it! Hilarious, if you do this though you have to have a thick skin it's very difficult to listen to other people's hate towards you.
Smart move from you! Proves there's no loyalty amongst thieves... I mean bullies!
Wow
Brilliant
I'm thinking about doing this.
Smart I wish I would have done the same before I gave up
Unfortunately, in our company, a guy was found hanging in a stairwell very recently.
Allegations are he was being bullied by 4 manager's.
You don't go to work, surely to do this to people. Bullying needs to stop,these guys should serve time if it's true.
R.i.p John Smyth.
Dances with badgers , the managers do operate in gangs in certain environments but they all have to go.
Thats horrible, they shoud be charged !!
😭😢😥
Would of loved to of met john, to see why he was bullied......
That's so sad. I hope the bully is charged with manslaughter!
To everyone out there dealing with this, you are competent, you aren’t doing anything wrong, and don’t let them dictate your value. Leave as quick as you can and find the next opportunity that values you. Good to see other content creators speaking out again this.
-Mr.SmartCity
Remember, if colleagues at work say you’re doing a good job, and you know you’re doing a good job, if your boss is abusing the appraisal system and making it look like you’re not doing a good job, it doesn’t change the truth that yes, you are doing a good job!
An individual may abuse their position of ‘power’ but don’t let them start making you doubt your own capabilities.
That’s a very important point. well said!
Amyehme What if the manager has set a different set of expectations? And employees continue to work the same way they have always worked. As a manager, I did not set the expectations to make my team’s life difficult. It was set because i was set for higher expectations.
It may be true a 1000 tiems over yet it is the manager who has a direct influence on your growth in the company.
@@girlfridayonthego6381 Exactly and this hurt me bigtime in a company I just left after 4 and a half years. Now I'm stuck because of that. I didn't know it at the time but the manager was doing the gatekeeper and constant critic tactics and it completely shut me out of advancement.
A good boss will help employees do their best and not hinder them or make them fail.
My old boss was a bully but everyone was too scared to stand up to her apart from me. I ended up looking crazy
I had the same experience. I filed the EEO. This male manager was degrading to all the females in the office. When I filed, I asked the females to give testimony on my behalf, and they all declined. One even saying "He has too much power, and knows to many people here." Another saying she needed her job. I was disappointed. My case was dismissed due to prima facie. I was doing the case myself, and could not afford an attorney. Of course the Agency provided the legal team for this terrible manager. After dismissal I found out that he had incidents at other Agencies, and with other females within the Agency. Just before I left they told him that he did not fit their idea of the way the Agency was moving. He told the Agency that he felt that he was being targeted (Karma), and then he swiftly retired. Then he got another job in the same building with D.C. government because he knew some friends there. It is just awful to be bullied. It is so rampant in the Federal government, and is covered up constantly.
Right here with you. Everyone knew, but they either sweeped under the rug or turned a blind eye. Only one stood up for me. That one person is someone I'm always thankful for.
Snow 123 Too many to count. Not sure if being a woman or not is important.
@@reciebrown4941 I am happy to hear someone else has the courage to stand up to these people. I too stood up to a male years ago, I paid the price for it multiple times. I even had witnesses. I worked for a government contractor.
I recently experienced mobbing in private sector healthcare. The younger generation seems to be behind the increase in bullying in the workplace.
Sunny Bee happened to me!
I needed this so much today! I’m educated, 42 and loved my job. I resigned today with no plan. I just erupted in tears when my boss confronted me stating the untrue accusations formed against me. I just couldn’t take it anymore. It’s devastating!
Stay strong Ginger, its just a job not your life!
I'm in this exact situation right now. Same age as well and about to kiss them goodbye with a long letter to HR about EVERYTHING!
remember to give them the middle finger :) You can leave them some messages on facebook to scold them as well :)
@@dianestanley6492 Omg. You were being discreet in helping a coworker and that other employee went berserk about stealing? So sad to follow you to another office. There is a special place awaiting.
@@dianestanley6492 I think showing up at another company where you work and slandering you would be classified as stalking and defamation. Know your rights. Sometimes it's worth the $100 or so consultation fee to see a lawyer. Maybe a cease and desist letter (a written warning from a lawyer) would send the coworker the message that if s/he keeps it up, they will get sued.
This literally brought tears to my eyes, recognizing all the tactics that have been launched against me in a professional setting. Thank you so much for this education. I know I am not crazy or 'difficult.'
I once tried to be the funny guy that tried to make my bosses and coworkers laugh. I tried to be a dependable worker that went over and beyond. I didn't pretend to like people I didn't, and give insincere compliments, or pretend to be someone I wasn't. That's my downfall. No appreciation. No respect. I once thought merit would make you successful. It's not possible without trying to be the boss' friend, and her friend's friend too. And being a relative of someone in high places. Life's unfair. You either play the political game or you lose.
I have worked in finance for 17 years. This industry is absolutely saturated with cluster B personality types, psychopaths and narcissists. Bullying is openly permitted. It doesn’t matter which institution you work at, bullies will be abundant in all areas. Management at the top of the organisation, encourage this type of behaviour, and they hire people similar to themselves. I can honestly say I regret having worked in this industry, it has destroyed me. I am a shadow of who I should be. I tend to keep my head down, and try to be the best I can be at my work, at least I can take pride in that. The more you give them, the more you over over deliver, the more you meet their demands, the more they want. I worked 16-18 hour days non stop for 2 years, under intense pressure, and met every single deadline. I told my boss the day I had been diagnosed with cancer, and he did not express a single word of concern. Not even “sorry to hear that”. He simply said “ok, can you send me an email on that you’re working on right now”, and that was that. These people caused me to get cancer, it was induced by stress hormones in my body that eroded my natural hormone levels and this caused the cancer. These peoples are inhumane. Some people like me are stuck in this god forsaken industry because we have no other options, we can’t switch industries bc the market is too competitive. I hope one day bullying will be depleted from the workplace but I know that’s just pipe dream.
I feel for you, I’m really sorry and hope you are doing better now
Does that type actually believe the energy is conducive to productivity and brilliance?
Yes it seems to be a top-down operation with the psychopaths at the top fooling everyone
I wish you well Bella! I hope you are healthier
I hope you’re doing better now. The reason they don’t care if you die is because that’s what they want, but they know they can’t kill you. So they do everything they can to drive you to do it for them. They’re full of the spirit of murder for people they don’t want to be happy.
Wait until it happens to you! No one is untouchable to them. I believe they will pretend to be a friend just to find your weak spots.
Lisa Dismuke narcs
those types come with personal questions really quick during your first week at work, trying to squeeze every information about you... when that happens I love playing the "clueless dumb kind", for some reason people take what I say very literally despite the obvious sarcasm at times. "So, are you married?" No. "Do you watch sports?" No. "Do you drink beer?" No. "Damn, this guy's life is miserable as hell, this guy does nothing!" Then they try to make that a joke, in the attempt of making you feeling guilty and "confessing" to something really dirty to be "accepted by the gang", like smoking, prostitution, whatever it might be. You just stand there, poker face, and let they think you are the most boring and lifeless person on earth. Your value doesn't come from others' opinions. At least that's how it works around here in brazil, psychopathy is running rampant. So are the horror and murder movies every week at the theater and netflix. Psychopathy at the touch of your fingers, easy access.
FeelingShred 💯
Oh yeah. I’ve had ex bosses and ex coworkers try that “friend” crap with me.
Yup. And it doesn;t matter how good you are at your job! In fact, the better you are, the bigger the threat you are - just like The Hatchet Man's Playbook says!
This breaks my heart that people of authority or just people in general can feel the need to dominate and tear down a person physically and emotionally
People dont believe some of us , but these "people" are mentally damaged. They are very high functioning mentally damaged people who society deems sane. If you were a fly on the wall with some of these people's therapist (and most dont even go to therapist unless they want to learn how to be more toxic) you would be afraid... very afraid. Oooops sorry, I mis spoke...RAID DEAD.
I pray there is a day, when my pains will go away.
It happens in mee rica
I’m certain it does not ONLY happen in America. Anti American much?
@@wintermatherne2524 Even Americans are anti-American. Wake up and smell the roses. The West is the worst place to live on the planet. The people are awful, rich and poor. These problems aren't heard of on nearly the same scale in Islamic nations, India, Thailand and the phillipines. It's only the West where it is rampant with corruption.
As a supervisor, I think the dumbest thing that any supervisor could do would be to pick on the veteran employee! You need them on the side more than anybody else. Some people are crazy
+Saffron Sugar So true. A good supervisor needs to sniff out crazy--sometimes that takes months, sometimes it take seconds.
I was being bullied at work at my current job and the supervisor counseled the two women and sent out a memo about workplace bullying to everyone. First time I've seen a supervisor do that. They usually bury their head in the sand, especially when it's a veteran worker that's the bully, or someone whose a really great worker,, but their personality is a problem.
Has the bullying subsided and able to work in peace?
QuadrantBottomHalf Yes, they both apologized and it went to a full stop.
Anna
Good baby. No one should have to go to work be uncomfortable. Every person should have the right to work in peace. Happens to me on every job except my last job. Don't know why I get singled out. I don't bother nobody. Usually its done by females and I'm male.
Love this! Only 3 months into my job and a co worker tried to intimidate my work ethic in front of other workers. An hour later she was doing her fake thing being all nice. I’m older than her and much more experienced in life. I’m gonna continue to put her in her place.
It's inexcusable too, how managers enable bullying or just look away. There was just one manager I had who put a stop to bullying right away. An exceptional woman. What I learned in my career is that strength and cunning too is necessary to survive in some environments. One time I listened at a door after hearing my name mentioned to learn what was going on. I documented it all with names, who said what and turned into HR. Followed up via email with numerous questions and voila the problem went away
I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
This stuff needs to be talked about so that it comes to the forefront of the corporate narrative. It happens a lot! I had a screaming Mimi back in 2008. Its not in my nature to take that kinda crap, so I started fighting back and it only took about a month for me to get fired lol. I look back now and am glad I kept my pride in tact and had support around me, but not everyone has that luxury. Workplace bullying is as important as diversity and gender equality. It can happen to anyone regardless.
You REALLY should read a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook. Can't recommend it highly enough.
I just put up with it for months by my supervisor until it destroyed my self esteem and self confidence. I let fear keep me quiet and the fear of disappointing my friend who had hired me. I didn't want him to know because he thought so much of her. I can't believe I did that. I eventually quit and she's still there and I can't get back the time, tears that were wasted on that crazy lady.
@@dystopian2153 same here Maria :'( I am just coming off of it. I feel so free! Thank God! All these things he is talking about I experienced at the hands of my boss and a colleague.
@@keilalambert1574 I am so glad you're free of this. I lost a lot of money leaving but I'm finally sane again and my spirit is back!! My poor friend is still there and being abused.
@@dystopian2153 The emotional distress she caused me and all the stress allows me to go on a Leave of Absence. Leave of Absence is not paid in my state but I can combine it with time off, Short Term Disability, and Long Term Disability if my leave extends for longer than 12 weeks. The Short Term Disability covers me up to the 12 weeks. Many states pay for the Leave of Absence. You should have your friend look into that. The Leave of Absence protects his job and all benefits. He can at the end of the leave return to work and they have to give him the same position with the same pay and benefits or a similar position. I have no plans or intention to go back working for this woman and I have made this clear to HR. I am going to use the time to look for other positions within the company or outside the company. And this is fine. All I needed to get the Leave of Absence was to let her know that I was not well. I actually was not. That day I had an emotional breakdown and lost control of myself as a result of her bullying and abuse. I have been seeing a therapist and he was aware of all that was going on from the beginning. He is able to back up the fact that I cannot subject myself another day to working for this lady before I lose my mind or be physically ill. If continue, this would not doubt cause me a stroke or heart attack. My Primary Care doctor as well could back this up. It sounds like you should have taken advantage of the Leave of Absence as well. I am now home and getting paid to look for another job. Thanks to her. I only put up with her behavior for two months. I know someone that put up with it for two years and eventually left. I witness her doing to him the same thing she started doing to me. Once he left, then she turned to me. I think she needs that someone at work to abuse, in order to feel in control. I don't know. She is a very sick person. I worked for her for four years and never had an issue but she turned all of the sudden, this past October...
Beware of workplace clowns as their jokes may actually be thinly veiled bullying.
+1 about office clowns who always are jockeying to make a joke and are desperate to be identified as the class clown. If you are funnier than them or more witty their jokes and comments will turn toward you. You are a threat and are stealing their thunder in their minds. Attention seeking office clowns want to be the center of attention.
True that******* Had a bad child hood!!!!!
Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and forms. Clowns are bullies by nature.
Sometimes they’re called ASSclowns for a reason.
So true👍
All of this is very accurate. That's why I'm self employed now.
Good for you. Sometimes, being a business owner is more satisfying and fulfilling than working for someone else. Many people are afraid of going on their own though, and live lives of quiet desperation.
This is exactly what I want to do.
I am naturally a passive person, and I was previously involved with being gas-lighted and "bullied" at work for a long time. I was a regular associate and worked my way into management, only to get manipulated even more. You become a target to these kinds of people if you allow them to do it to you. How one can avoid these kinds of situations is by practicing boundaries and setting them accordingly. Do not get involved in the politics involved with these toxic people, and point out these things and set boundaries in the very beginning of the work related relationship. Boundaries in work life and home life are so important and aren't exemplified enough... Once I started career related therapy and behavioral therapy I learned how to set proper boundaries everything in my world changed, there was a sense of respect and a difference in the way co-workers communicated with me. I will honestly say those times were hard, but I learned so much from it
It depends on the bullies motive. Also boundries are only as strong as your leverage they enforce them.
or the two headed snake who acts like everyone's friend and tries to divide the other coworkers with rumors and lies those are the ones you must watch out for notice they will be very agreable and seem genuine and friendly this is a marage they'll use you as a tool or as stepping stone. Generally passive aggresive and remember if they gossip about others they gossip about you too
Jason Smith sounds like my boss to the T
Jason Smith i have one of those in my office
Yep
Yep I’ve encountered one. It was love bombing at first. And when I didn’t side with her to hate on another person just because she doesn’t like him she started turning others against me. I was happy working there until she came along and made the environment so toxic. She transferred to another department eventually and then I started hearing rumors about her activities. As it turns out, she pissed off the wrong person (boss).
My boss is this! I am going through this right now! She is making me miserable. I am her supervisor and I am constantly undermined on a daily and she is famous for twisting the narrative to make it look like I am not doing my job. I’m miserable!
my boss was a combination bully. she had traits of two types. the screaming mimi and the constant critic. she wasn't smart, at all, and she lied and cheated her way to being a manager.
Queenie Isn't Here sound like a lead manager I know at work
Was she from CA? As I told another commentator, you REALLY should read a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook. Can't recommend it highly enough.
Those types always criticize a lot. They do it to make themselves feel better about themselves.
The worse!
@Aussie Pom wow that sounds just like my ex boss, except she is also the screaming mimi... so scary, so degrading, so unprofessional!
That's why I rather work for myself. Then I won't have that problem.
Mary Allen I'm trying to figure out how to make this happen.
You have your own business?
Lol we are all trying to figure that one out
Me too!
Me too but, as a lawyer, I still have to with all those lunatics in cases and in court 🙄
What a nightmare ..... lawyers are the worst sub-humans I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet 🤮
I am in graduate psychology school and finally landed a practicum site at a non-profit organization housed in this cute little Victorian. Immediately, I knew something was very wrong. I was shuffled back and forth from one supervisor to another--and in the end--by the time they got their claws in--I was suicidal. They would fire me--but not do it in writing like my university required...and just endlessly screw with me. If I do not complete practicum with a passing grade, I don't get my master's degree, period. So they have a lot of power. I went to an outside therapist and she told me I was being subjected to "adult bullying". Psychopaths-all of them. Worst part? This is supposed to be a "helping profession"! Sick.
Where may I purchase this book. ( I have experienced all what you discuss and lost my self esteem and confidence so I truly understand. I mow in my 60 plus and it is still happening to me at work. So I just retired. Can not bring myself to go. I shake in fear
Hi Peggy, I just randonly have come accross your comment and I have gone through the exact same thing as you but here in the UK same Masters-placement pass or fail. Never in my life have I met such dangerous vindictive people. Like you said they are meant to be in a helping profession it is absolutley shocking. Would love to chat to you some more to exchange experiences.
wow a helpful profession and they are bullying. words cant express that trajic mentality. Maybe working at a church would be a place where bullying does not exist or silly rumor mongering. why dont you talk to a professional and protect yourself from these bastiges. power is corrupt but its not in all places thankGod. people get restless and it makes them feel powerful but unfortunately it comes back to them so dont worry about that. Its unbelievable that people are so unhappy that they try to make others unhappy but this is a repercussion of the hierarchy and promotions and that corporate ladder crap- people can be really cruel and I see it not only in school but gross work places which are many with this type of infection of the brain. people are always trying to be the center of attention and its sad because you are suppossed to get that in other places
Good for you! You don't have to work anywhere where you are not respected. I'm sure your workplace bully is torturing somebody else now. When I stopped working I was in my late 50's, but would get filled with anxiety thinking about applying for another corporate position. Now I know why.
I hope you are ok now.
I’m being bullied at age 57. Can’t even believe it. I’ve reported it, requested schedule change etc. only to find out management is friends with bully, now they are trying to get rid of me geesh
The worse is the boss who makes up that he has received numerous complaints about you when its just him complaining.
Absolutely. 9 times out of 10 when a boss says they are hearing complaints about you, there aren't any. They do this to add weight to their personal problem with you.
Aah yes I’ve had a boss like this before I always thought oh really?????
Not always true your coworkers could be dogpiling on you but yeah 9 times out of 10 it's fabrication or exaggerated
Mine did this exact thing
Oh yeh!❤
Absolutely 100% accurate, especially their tactics of charmingly disarming you to expose your vulnerability, and striking you when you are at your least able moments
im dealing with bullying at work
its a terrible experience to go thru
workplaces in my opionion are getting worse in the last 25 years
its probably better to have my own business and be my own boss
I totally agree. People are changing. Lies are common place, and will be believed before the truth.
John Yeah but idk how
This is EXACTLY why I'm starting my own business. This is a MAJOR problem in the U.S that needs to be remedied. Too many emotionally unhealthy & unstable people are allowed in supervisory roles just because of who they know instead of what they can do. This results in high turnover which results in more man hours being spent in recruiting and training that other wise could be used building and expanding a company's brand.
John: I agree with your timeline. It really does seem like it is on the rise. I'm being bullied at work. Been going on for the last 7-8 years now.
I have noticed that too, I think it's in part due to the lack of moral teaching, the internet (intensifies competition and envy) and a sense of entitlement.
It's not productive but I turn the tables when I can. There are workplace bullies everywhere I've worked, at least one. I had one "lady" tell me quietly ( I already had her figured out) "I make people cry sometimes. I'm just blunt like that and that is how I am." I turned around and said, "I was so blunt at the last place I worked a man hung himself when he got home. Making people cry is kid's play..." To this day she walks circles around me but bullies the crap out of others. I hate to see her do it but it's not my fight. The bully's game is to intimidate and put you into submission. No one has time for that. Bullies are damaged people that refuse to see it and come to the workplace to play games. Sad really..
Dolly Goodhead yes they are everywhere.
I had to read that a couple times. She's a disgusting person. Can't even call her human. Ugh
True that*******
I'm surprised the coat hanger was strong enough.
I think people should speak up about it, because otherwise it's allowed.
I've never understood people not going out of their way to get along with others at work. We spend so much of our lives in our careers, why would anyone want to make it miserable? I'm trapped where I am because I desperately need the great health insurance we're given, and there aren't many other options right now. I'm being treated terribly by the veteran coworker and her followers, not being trained and it's the most unwelcome I've ever felt anywhere. Going to the boss will surely make these behaviors worse by a lot. It's a group of ADULT females just bullying me. It's catty and horrific. Honestly causing me so much anxiety I don't know what to do. Praying something good opens up and I find something else. I feel for anyone dealing with this stuff at work. 😣
I don't know why, it's always about women, they love to bully the others.
Thank you so much for this concise breakdown of workplace bullying. As a victim of bullying you become so beat down you think it’s you, and you start to question yourself and you actually start to feel unworthy. Hearing your description of what I just dealt with for 8 months was more helpful than you could realize. Thank you ☺️
You forget one thing, Dr. Gary Namie. Those bully types may not be necessarily illegal, but they're all acts of pure evil in the workplace! No doubt about it!
Absolutely. I was stalked by an attractive young guy at work, he had to be fired and I developed PTSD.
Lame fat security guard, named John who had work prostitutes in his own office, corrupt prior cop, has ever since threatened my life severely. He knows aggressive repulsive guys, sickens them onto me. Has been going on for over 13 years. Has people attack me as if I was one of the work prostitutes he hangs around with.
Nasty, vile, repulsive.
My relationship choices exist with smart interesting people, he has openly threatened my good reputation and sickens nasty ugly repulsive guys in my way.
Totally nasty psychopath nutjob.
Very dangerous, the people he knows are pure trash. Birds of a feather I guess.
Get a digital recorder because most bullies attack when you are alone. Take really good care of yourself and make sure you have a lot of fun. Do not tell them who your friends are at work because they will scoop them up on their side and isolate you. Get your sleep and go to the dentist to make sure you are not grinding your teeth. If you cannot sleep take sleepy time tea from the grocery store. Avoid the bullies as much as possible.
Let me reiterate what Dr. Gary Namie said, bullies thrive on control and vulnerability. They're threatened by your skills and your good-naturedness. Its' nothing more than a game to them, and to make themselves look good to the higher ups by putting you in a negative light for kicks. Your educated mind, skill, and good-natured well-liked attitude is your only weapon against them. In short, take away the control away and you take away the power from the bully! Its not easy, but it can be done.
Unless they fire you first? Lol
So can you explain what you mean by take the control away
How do you take away the control?
Ms Jreneful thats easy. People who are bullies usually suck in their real life out of work. They are the lame ones who actually gets ignored and overlooked. At the work place they have to create an environment to feel purposeful an environment that ceases to exist when they leave the office. The purpose to a bully is to bully you to make you feel lesser than them thats the control have to take away. Reverse psychology always works. Instead of feeling threatened by what they do, add to it. Make yourself look bad beat them to it agree with them eventually they would have no power. The trick is to not let them see you are affected, don't fight back. If your boss gives you an impractical deadline don't fight back, when he comes for your work beat him to it and say I'm so incompetent I'm not doing my best. Say the worse about yourself therefore anything he says actually look like a compliment. You feel me?
marie rajbally I understood but that’s not my personality. I can do the not fighting back part but the incompetent and beating myself up part; nope. I’m not putting that much effort to make myself look bad simply because I’m good at what I do. This is just exhausting.
Wow, what's crazy is, I literally just got back from vacation and it was my 1st day back. You know your stuff!
This is so accurate! And it’s unfortunate that those bullied often are not able to survive.
OMG! A person I know dealt with a workplace bully as a supervisor that employed ALL of these tactics!
My old boss she is evil!!
Been emotionally traumatized by a female co-worker in my new job. I work as a panelist in a group setting and have to sit next to her or near her day after day. I thought I was going crazy so I am so thankful to come across this video and WBI. At first I thought I could figure it out and solve the issue directly with the Bully. You know do the mature thing by asking her what's the problem is and have I offended you? What can I do to make our relationship at work better approach. The approach failed. Total denial and then of course, the bullying got worse after that. Now it seems she's out to turn others against me while being overly nice to them. They certainly don't want to get on her bad side. It's working and those that use to be friendly to me are now ignoring me. It's all got me thinking I'm a freak. Thanks to this video and the website I understand better now. I think it is too late to win this war. I feel I've lost and I don't even know why it happened. So painful to go through. Thinking it is time to quit since the stress has me coming home in tears everyday and dreading the next work day.
I feel your pain.
It's been a year already, so I don't know if this would be of any help. But I'm going to reply based on my own very painfully acquired experience - she's effing SCARED of you. You probably don't realize how good/competent you are and what potentials you have. She on the other hand sees it all and probably has been trying for a long while to get something you already have but don't even place that much premium on. The only way to silence her insecurity is to make you look bad to others. Something else you should know - those other people don't hate you. They don't even dislike you; they may even low key like and admire you. However, they fear her more than they like you. Let that sink for a minute.
brown eyed I am experiencing the exact same situation at work as BT ( the commenter above) and your response was so helpful...I want to thank you. I start to think everyone at my workplace hates working with me, but in reality they just don’t want to get on the wrong side of the bully. My bully is an older nurse, overweight, divorced twice, highly judge-mental of others. I have a good stable marriage, strong skills, likeable fun personality. I care about others and am generally well liked. I believe my bully is simply jealous. She uses so much energy to bully me, I can feel the hate radiating from her. It’s sad. As a nurse, I just cope by giving all my attention and energy to the patients I serve. Thanks again for your helpful comments.
@@jenm9027 You don't know what your feedback means to me. Now I'm grateful for what I had to go through if that meant I could throw light unto someone else's journey. Keep your light shining and darkness just has to give way. Wishing you strength as you keep doing all that you do.
brown eyed I wish everyone was as kind as you. If you happen to have a nursing degree and need a job, I’d love to work with you! 😂God bless you. ☺️
wow im going through this right now and feel it doesnt look good for me because I stood up and said enough is enough.
so what happened? any good news?
Hey here in 2020. Appreciate this because it really made me see the truth. I was working in the ER as a PA. I was surpassing the the prior more experienced ER PAs and getting bonuses and accolades. When was asked to present at the supervisor’s office I thought I was going to be commended for getting the door to doc time down but instead I was told that I did not know how to treat common disease such as hypertension and COPD. I was asked “ to do the right thing and quit”. I was told that a very common medication that treats hypertension wasn’t unused to treat hypertension. Crazy! And the patient was on the medication for hypertension. I was so confused and shocked! It has been over two years since that has happened and I’ve questioned myself everyday. Before this and after I’ve seen and treated numerous patients successfully but to this day I still feel inferior, incompetent and belittled. However, given this information in this video things seem a little more clear. Thank you
I was bullied at work by the person I report to. He wouldn't even address me by my name. The first thing the admin lady told me when I walked into the office building 3 months ago was that he can be a little grumpy at times. I didn't get it then.
Then I slowly realised what that meant. As days went by, I got really stressed about going to my workplace and facing this man. He never treated me with respect. It was as if he was never happy with whatever I did. Always dissatisfied and frustrated. I am a graduate engineer and when I was hired I was told I would receive a lot of training in this position. I received nothing, and in fact he was so busy that he expected me to just share his workload. I learnt a newly released software on my own which he wasn't even very familiar with. I did my best to learn and deliver at the same time. I was working overtime (which I wasn't paid for) as he never had time to review my work until 5:00 p.m.
And I decided to quit. A week ago I gave my resignation. He became worse. The director of the company who was present at my interview with my line manager gave me a surprise visit and pulled me into an office room without notice. At the end of the conversation, she told me very "nicely" that I could talk to my manager and leave early if I wanted to. I did not take the hint. I was being dumb.
Since my resignation, there were two instances he picked to point fingers at me but I ended up being right in both. He never apologised. And just yesterday morning, he walked in grumpy saying he thinks I am not interested in this job anymore and I can bring my final day forward to yesterday.
He also hinted that the company is wasting money on me. So it was clear. The management just wanted me to leave. I wasn't going to stay after this. I sent an email to the HR confirming yesterday as my last day. He just said good luck for future. It's a shame that I didn't have anything to tell him. I was speechless. So I just left. No goodbyes at all.
I came home feeling relieved. Last night, I had the best sleep I have had in a while.
I don't know what I am going to do. But I now know that dignity, self-respect and mental health is more important than anything else sometimes.
Bullying is not fun, I think that the Government needs to implement harsh sanctions on all those company who allows these type of act on and employees who is doing there best, This has got to stop. Too many are loosing their lives over the stress of bullying.
LeaH John In some parts of Europe workplace bullying is unacceptable and are really fast to put those under investigation.
LeaH John good GOD, grow up. 'The government should' should be stricken from everyones vocabulary. Who decides who is the bully? Your idea is terrifying. How about you consider that the governments job is NOT to mandate behavior.
Your best isnt good enough and thats why we yell. Because we are tired of doing your job too. Ive observed behavioralism and the one crying about it are always the lazy one. Their hands stop moving when they talk. they freeze up under stress. Meanwhile, the one screaming is wondering why you havent started moving yet. Its dedication, commitment, and putting your best foot forward and business owners can see that in the more dominant employees.
Leave politics out
LeaH John I work for the government and bullying can be terrible! They have policy but often turn a blind eye and rarely do anything
Thank you for your insight. It is really sad that there are people who go out of their way to make the lives of others at work turn upside down. When I report to work, I focus on doing my job, nothing more, nothing less. There is no room to bother others.
It seems you have asshole who don't like that you're uncovered. Which I'd annoyong
I just had this happen to me. I was in my position for 12 years, won awards, always made my deadlines, & did what I could to make sure all were accommodated. I've never even had a bad review. However, I've dealt with slandering and gaslighting from an HR director for quite a while. He bad mouthed me to every new supervisor before they met me. A new boss with the same personality who touts herself as an "expert" was added a year ago. The abuse dramatically increased. She was extremely jealous of my work. Departments refused to work with her and told her they were going through me from now on. The environment became indescribably hostile. When I filed a harassment claim against the new boss last week, they fired me three days later. They said I had no proof but the HR Director only questioned one person. I had begged for help three times over the past year. The insomnia, panic attacks, blood pressure spikes & various other medical issues grew. They used my own claim against me in the write-up. As of this Tuesday, I am unemployed after 12 years of pouring my heart and soul into my work. I can't describe the way I feel.
wendy welch I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope a year later things have been better for you
We need to organize.
This was posted a year ago. How are you doing now?
Hope you’ve found a happy place
Hope you found a new place that values you, and are on your way to healing.
Everyone knows about bullies, yet it still goes on...
I am dealing with someone who is desperate to make herself look good at my expense. My naive self didn't realize until it was too late. I'm saddened how much we have to work to protect ourselves at work.
I was bullied relentlessly for months before I was thankfully sacked. Apparently I had made 'no progress' in 12 months. How do you make 'progress' if someone is screaming at you from before 0930 out of earshot of others, making angry gestures at you while the office is full and screaming at you again when the office is empty. After being sacked I made a decision never to work for a company again and became self employed. Now I am making 4 times my old salary, working and worked some of the most inspiring people I have ever met and have had the chance to work in Barcelona, The Netherlands, Belgium and London. Sounds sad, but I recently emailed my old company using an email address of one of my Belgian clients describing in detail my bully's behaviour and recently found he has left the company - either sacked or just embarrassed to be outed as a bully. Regardless I am now happy at work and in a position to simply walk out of a role at the drop of a hat if I come across animals like that again.
What do you mean? She literally just told you.
What is the business you've created? Any tips how to make one's own business?
What I do when faced with a "screaming Mimi" is to simply look offended and reply in an indignant way, "Excuse me?!" And then if the person yells at me again, I repeat my retort even more forcefully and disbelievingly, and then when I'm hollered at a third time, I simply stand my ground and calmly say something like, "Well, there's no need to shout; I was going to do that, anyway. All you had to do was ask me in a normal voice", or, "I do not believe that you have grounds to talk to me that way", or, "Excuse me, but do you have the authority to tell me to do that?", or, "I will be more than happy to do as you ask, but could you please say that a little more nicely?"
Well said and very interesting! I’ve learned the hard way recently to:
NEVER have a meeting in work without a witness present.
Keep a record of EVERYTHING that is ever done to you no matter how small or stupid it may seem.
DO NOT assume that management or HR will back you even if you’re doing the right thing by flagging up an issue to them.
HR are never neutral, no matter how nice they seem just remember they work for the company.
Don’t STRESS yourself out by doing more than your paid to do, if you do your job too well you’ll eventually be asked to do more and more until your doing other people’s too even taking on managerial responsibilities.
Basically give LESS f🙊ks and take NO shit! You are always replaceable no matter how hard you’ve worked for them! Especially when their treatment of you begins to affect your mental and physical health... by then your just used goods to them.
11 years later in this video is still teaching me stuff to help my friends fight back against tyranny
I watched this video in advance of my meeting yesterday with HR. It really gave me strength and I represented myself well. I'm super grateful that you make this information easily available.
Can you share how you represented yourself well. Did you tell them what the bully had been doing to you etc.
My mother was a screamer & a constant critic. She would 'strike' whenever I was vulnerable. Always. I grew up feeling paralyzed. When I went into the military and encountered a boss who was a bully I reverted back to my previous behavior of being paralyzed.
Fortunately, that was 20+ years ago and I have developed strategies on assertiveness. However, I am so happy to have found your channel and can't wait to learn more!
I'm really glad that I found this channel on youtube. The topics that are being spoken about describe everything that I'm currently going through with my employer . Being a Veteran dedicated to doing my job and making friends, I'm now defending myself from acts of workplace bullying. Who would have ever thought someone would take the time to put another person through this type of treatment.
Eric Brown Hey Eric, I'm also being bullied at work and I wanted to say I hope things are getting better for you. Take care of yourself.
the
Eric Brown -This is type of abuse is as old as.mankind.
I’m a veteran also and people are forever threatened and jealous of my experience I can’t catch a break anywhere. Been at the job 3 months and my numbers are already better than my coworkers. I stay focused and keep my head down. It is difficult at times, and everyone knows don’t play with me cause I well shut them down in a professional way. Military taught me how to handle stress and get the job done.
I used to be like that I would let things and people get me down and walk all over me now I am older and less tolerant to peoples bullshit I literally eat people like this for breakfast by literally mirroring there behaviour and showing I am not someone to be messed around with and while it took a while its a breath if fresh air when someone tries to make you look like a fool and you just turn it around on them.
John Anthony yes Antony it’s happened to me right now. At Walmart I reported with my Store Director. But the Man steel there.
John Anthony I confront the Assistant Manager, I show to him that I wasn’t afraid of him.
Your approach does not go over well in many places. Beware.
I would love to hear some stories about it..I’m in this situation and I’m not sure what my reaction should be..
I wnt your skills lol
So happy to have reached retirement age so I could finally leave this arena. I had them all. It was a miserable chapter in my life.Wish I'd known about this during those tough years.Better luck to those still at it. Don't let yourselves be pushed around.Fight back!
This is a very real and serious problem in the workplace!
WOW!!! great job on nailing down a BULLY BOSS!!!
"Beware of a hugger, while they're embracing you they're basically just going up and down your rib cage looking for a place to stick in the shiv." Best joke I've heard all week! Thank you so much for sharing your insight with us. Delightful video.
Then their is gas lighting,where they have been accused of bullying and harassment and they quickly flip the script on you!
Thank you very, very much for addressing these concerns. Your work is commendable, and greatly appreciated.
Yep, my workplace bully is a technology challenged 65+ year old who was "absolute top of her class in university" who "Doesn't have enough time in the day to explain things to someone so stupid" (Her words.) She constantly undermines me because I've excelled and taken our company in a different direction to stay up to date (I'm 31 and I've tripled last years sales within my first 6 months of hire by moving things online.) Just because I don't do things 'her way' doesn't mean that I'm not producing results...
I really wish bullies would consider how their behaviour affects people.I've been bullied at work,and its eaten away at my self esteem.
i know exactly what you mean praying for a better atmosphere where you are
Don't LET them hurt you! Email me for support, if you want -- parisletter1958@gmail. Com.
Let yourself hate yourself so much that you bore yourself with it. One day you wakeup and you have had enough. Yaye your back. Get a job before you leave a job, especially if you have been traumatised.
Oh, but they DO! It’s generally done with a goal in mind.
I had to deal with several types of these bullies in a contract-to-hire situation about 10 years ago, and eventually I was fired, where a constructive dismissal was used by the “manager” of which I have vowed that should our paths cross again at the same employer, I will make damned sure they have a bad go of things. This is someone that had no business being put in charge of anyone.
They know! That's why its done.
Teddy Roosevelt said, "Speak softly but carry a big stick!"
I wish you had spoken about the personal nit picker. I once dealt with a person who spent a lot of time picking me to death so much I think it was harassment. This wasn't about anything related to work. And the things he did were so small that I would look trivial for pointing out any one of them. I once bumped my head and said 'Doh.' He grouched at me for making a weird noise. Another time I pronounced a name wrong and he grouched at me. Finally, I he asked for directions to a place. I gave him them. The next day he yelled at that there was a shorter way. When these things happen to you EVERY DAY they wear on you. Management did nothing.
thats pretty petty....find a thug to do your job for a day and get them to act weak.....nature will take its coarse.
He did. It's the Constant Critic, #2
I use to think that people would treat co-workers this way solely because their race or ethnicity. Now I know better.
Wow!!! When you said about 'the hugger!' That massively resonated with me. So that's what my manager was doing... it's clicked! Disgusting to back stab someone when they are struggling with long term health issues.
Had a combo two-headed snake/constant critic about ten+ years ago. I still think I’m processing the trauma. Absolutely awful situation. Didn’t know until she left many other people felt the same way, were just too afraid of her to say anything. Watching this video and reading the comments has been cathartic - I’m not the only one.
Absolutely amazing! You described the 4 types of bullies PERFECTLY! Nice job!!!
I work in a Warehouse and I’ve been bullied and harassed at work and the management never does anything. I’ve contacted Human Resources and they basically said I need to not talk to my bullies but the bullies don’t leave me alone even when I’m just working and minding my own business. Most these guys who bully me are miserable human beings who hate me because I’m a smart guy who works hard and is well liked amongst most of the employees. They are classless, arrogant, angry, miserable human beings who hate their job and their life’s.
I’ve thought about hiring a lawyer and suing but I don’t want more trouble in my life.
This is really helpful - as someone whos studied organizational behavior and a victim of workplace harrassment both in and out of the workplace this clearly categorizes some of the strategies workplace bullies use!!
I can relate this to one of my coworkers who complained about the deadlines, the workload, not being able to ask for help or ask questions. But the fact is that she is just lazy and incompetent.😂 She needs people watching her doing simplest math, needs people to help her on step to step instructions, never take notes and comes to you every time when she need to do her work and acts like she never knew how to do her job. It’s wasting people’s time and make other coworkers feel like doing her job. This type of person who doesn’t respect other people’s time, not appreciate others help is also a workplace bully
Thank you for sharing! Thank you for being courageous to talk about these ongoing types of bullies at work environments. On point on so many levels. Thank you , thank you !!! I have experienced all of these types of misconductive behavior, while the new manager whom I am to report to have been in a long time conflict my previous manager. My previous manager wrote a very negative annual evaluation where my credibility has been distorted. Now I am like a chess pawn where the new manager is trying to deceptively use my experience to build a case to report on the previous manager. Previous manager has his trusted advisor ( aka admin assist) to report All doings, reject All of my ideas and questionings, and she doesn't answer any questions I may have...she leaves me hanging looking like a fool during chats. She is cold, distance, answer with one word answers, and plays the dumb card when the new manager asks for input...this is the culture that was exemplified ' good mentorship' and was highly appraised from my previous manager. It boils my blood and there is no justice!!! All at the same time, the previous manager asked me to report the new Manager's behavior so that he can bud a case against him and report. I am not protected, so I am trying to stay clear of the both managers way. Oh gosh, I feel like I am in a mess with two unprofessional managers who are trying leverage on subordinates to climb the ladder. I have got to find a better place for safety ground. I have exhausted my patience and have to remain professional at all times, and I believe in high integrity. I would have nightmares about my work and getting punished in my dreams, waking up terrified, and feeling at a loss of where did I go wrong. It is comforting and a relief to hear you bring this types of misconductive behavior into light!!! Can there be anything done?
This is a great video! I would like to see this topic shared in our crazy corporate world.
Me 2!
I worked for the MAJOR hospital in Washington state. I was bullied by another co worker from my first interview, I actually got the job and from that point on it was hell. All the workers were unionized so they could not be touched without significant litigation. This person that bullied me actually had been fired and lost her job, THEN GOT IT BACK with the union. She made up a lie about me, and my boss told me I had to go to HR and APOLOGIZE to this person who bullied me. HR told me she has a long history of doing this and nothing can be done, but I did nothing wrong, so I was ok. From this point on my boss did everything he could to stifle me, while using me to fit his needs. I came in on my days off to do tasks he could have done, sacrificed my personal life, I was passed up for promotion, when it did come to another promotion he told me my 4's and 9's did not look good on paper so I wasnt deserving of classification. He himself fabricated mistakes I made, so I presented the evidence to him (documentation) showing that was false, he insisted he was right despite the obvious. Finally I was classified but it was only to extend my hours to use me during floor transitions. I was forced to resign 1 month before I would have had union protection. I had a 3 month old daughter, and my partner had just quit to take care of our daughter full time. I had my national license and a college degree, also the youngest, only one other tech had my credentials. I was targeted and ejected to satisfy a sociopath who ran the department de facto. Learned alot about the reality of work at this time. Anyway sorry to rant.
Sean Bailey it has happened to me too..I got bullied to an extent that I did not want to go to work and often thought of taking my life as I thought maybe it was me. I even ended up in hospital and only few months later I came to know that my husband had rang my nurse unit manager and informed what was happening but in the end the bully won and nothing was done ..the DON gave the bully a hug I was so confused..I am still being bullied by him and he has been complained about his bullying behaviour by other staff and nothing is being done. Only yesterday he bullied me and had me in tears witnessed by other staff and when I was alone in treatment room he came and appologised to me for his behaviour and tried to give me a hug when another nurse walked in and witnessed it.. I am 55 years old and need this job as I have a mortgage to pay ...who will want to employ a 55 year old as I am a general nurse with no post grad qualification.. but I am proud to be a nurse and love my current job and I am an excellent hard working nurse and very efficient nurse and my bully can’t take that away from me...most of all I have a very supportive husband whose hugs on a bad shift makes me forget everything until the next shift I go on to when he is rostered.. it’s true they say bully wins and victim loses ..well that is what is happening at my work...
I remember a time when I said something and it was intrepeted wrong by my boss because she thought I was trying to undermine her when I was only trying to improve the morale for everyone. go figure in the workplace n stuff- sheesh mgeesh!
Snow 123
Director of nurses. DON
Sean, I can relate, I was mobbed at a major Seattle hospital. Its a long story, but can tell you it was extremely severe and I now have ptsd as a result.
Sean Bailey, don't be sorry. Working people in America need to organize against this behavior. We should be able to organize by email.
This is a great break down of work place bullies. These four types of bullies is spot on with what I have experienced most recently.
wow this guy broke down workplace bullying to a T. He hit the nail right on the head. What a strong point especially at 2:38 when he said the primary tactic is to misuse the performance appraisal system. My God this guy did a grandiose job at explaining workplace bullying in such a sensible way. God bless.
"The Two-Headed Snake," describes the woman who bullied me. Talk about hitting the nail on the head.
I had a supervisor who always told me “bad news” just as I am about to go to a vacation or just as the work day/week was over! I knew that wasn’t a coincidence.they want me to think and worry about it the whole time I was away!
The only way for me is to find another job fast and then instantly quit the job that got you bullied. It's happening to me right now its stressing me out, and i cry every night when someone is being mean to me. And i doubt the boss will do anything about it cause they're all like this to me.
Sandy Koong
If you are in a position to find another job quickly, do that. Don't rely on stupid big bosses, they don't care.
It's fine now. Bullying has subsided a lot since May. I just had to be nice to the bully and if they're bossy, then still listen to what they want you to do even though they're not the manager. Then after that they'll leave you alone.
they are scum.
You are a valuable person so don't let their poison affect your self worth
Friar Tuck Don't worry. At first i think they hated me cause i was a newbie and sometimes newbies don't know what they're doing and they go rolling eyes behind my back. But eventually they get used to you. It was so bad when i first started. If you're a bad worker, you'll definitely get bullied. But since i know way around, they won't find me annoying.
I resigned myself but my mind was affected. Revenge can heal the wound.
Yes, this is good. I have known all of them.
I find the statement about the bully being able to change tactics, even within the same meeting, to be so true.
And the types here apply not only to the workplace but also to the way that bullying can be enacted in the classroom.
There was a science teacher- young, handsome, knowledgeable, efficient, self-righteous, utterly without humour, and with no compassion for those who for one reason or another, were struggling.
He never actually SCREAMED; his voice was venomous and his comments corrosive.
He had it within his power to destroy a student's future employment by whispering behind their back.....so he did.
When he withheld, by refusing to have a child in the class, it was, of course, the child who was in dire need of positive affirmation.
If he found anything to praise in a student's work, then that student would go into a state of jitters, knowing that their achievement would be used, within the following sentence, to humiliate someone who had done less well.
How does a person in their early twenties, get to be such an intimidating monster?
His efficiency pleased his superiors. He rose up the ladder fast, and was soon headmaster of a large school.
He died young.
I’m so relieved to hear you talk about this
Had a Senior tech and Pharmacist team that specialized in bullying and she did stop my promotion. This helps greatly
I'm a doctor but I was made to work as a receptionist.. I totally lost confidence in me. It was really toxic. Today I took this step to resign for my mental health.. though I don't have another job in hand, I had to take this step. I hope I'll get a good job next 😇
It's a humiliation tactic to make you feel incapable! Fuck that you are a doctor are you kiding me!!!
I've had to experience all of this at my work place. It really takes it toll.
I was bullied at my first job as a teenager back in 2013. I’m still traumatized by it. It really botherd me. It still does when I think about it.
Thank you for the topic and knowledge.
I come across this after working alone today. The best day ever!
I worked with 2 of the female two headed snake types, they were best friends but would run each other down behind the others back. It was a small Doctor's office all female staff but it was an unbearably hostile environment .I'll NEVER work in an "unmanned" office again, some women are so VICIOUS.
I had this lady who has a huge power trip. She was more inline with the 'gate keeper' mentality. I played this video few tables away from her on my cell phone in the break room and she looked sort of disturbed and bailed out when the host of this video was about halfway through the discussion on the gate keeper. I just laughed so hard!
He said she said bullying is basically the one that encourages smear campaigns. And the smear campaigns can make the target look like the screaming meemie type by trying to manipulate you to react first
They wanted to ruin my life, career and spirit by playing the victim
Great presentation. I think we're programmed as human beings to be trusting of others, to defer to the supposed good judgement of those in positions of authority. Bullies seem to use this as an open door to operate outside the bounds of acceptable human respect, then eventually destroy that person's peace and self-worth for the sake of their personal agenda. It's a hard lesson to learn, that respect is not often forthcoming, and that we need to keep our power, keep our wits about ourselves, and know when to leave when we have to. All bullies eventually have to answer for their unkind, humiliating actions.
I'm thinking of doing something about it now , others are suffering, and others have quit