My biggest problem is i see making friends as a burden since you have to wade through all the unsuited to find someone you value spending time with. I have worked at my current job for 23 years. In all that time i have made one friend. She eventually moved out of state.
This is one of the most underrated challenges adults face! Learning cold approach is literally the cure to all of this, once you have that skill you can meet anyone anywhere and you'll never not be able to make friends!
@@reallifepsych3309 It's definitely viewed that way. But the most confident people are actually the ones who can admit that yearning and do the work to get the results they want!
When i was young i never tried to make friends. I just because friends with people that I spent time around. I never gave it a thought. I have never been included in an email or text.
Definitely tough making friends when you get older, especially during these times! I've moved a lot so I'm always having to meet new people and make new friends, but it seems I always stay connected with a few people from places I've lived which is good.
i would have to agree, it is definitely hard making new friends in these times.i am always out traveling as well. i always try to make an attempt to make a new friend wherever i go.
When i was younger I was the most social kid, loved...being around my friends, joined the scouts, was in it for 9 years, there were girls too, had a blast and was the complete clown and entertainer, the bond we all had was beautiful and i miss a lot of them, most of which left it years ago, me included. I had the same experience in school, had a blast. But i find the older you get, people aren’t as nice to you, the adults you liked, turn out to be miserable, people are only nice to kids and then talk to you like you’re nothing. These days, and way before covid was ever heard of, i have been a very solitary person. The loneliness can be horrible, and I’ve been doing it since I finished school in 2009. I have two friends, which im thankful for, but I want to make more, but I’m upset all the time and i feel really sad about being nearly 30 and alone and i feel like I’m better off because i find a lot of people really strange and unkind. Thankfully i have my art. And also women only want guys with loads of friends and a life and don’t have time for a guy nearly 30 with no job and not a big group of friends.
I’m young, graduating college this year and moving across the state for a job. I am really nervous about making new friends - especially when no one seems to like face to face conversation these days. Thank you for the tips!
Right. It’s important that we understand that loneliness is not defined by how many people are around us, but in addition the quality of the relationships. There’s actually a loneliness video on this channel if you want to check it out.
This Real Life Psych youtube feature of How To Make Friends As An Adult definitely has some essential ideas that pertain to multiple life situations, finding this video is timely because I have been luckily receiving reminders in my life when it comes to making friends where I am now residing locally (because of the obvious common knowledge of making and keeping friends from prior places of residence andor employment is at times slightly different from making local friends in a new place of employment andor residence). Additionally, the examples referenced in open-mindedness, knowing where to look, and some of what to do to both initiate and maintain the friendship(s) once they are made are some of the multiple reasons why I am glad to have found this video.
Hi! I have been trying to make friends at work, but I noticed for my two closest work friends that I was starting all of the conversations, and doing all of the work. I want to be friends with these coworkers, and I'm sure they consider me a friend, but I want them to put some work in, too. How do I balance that? Is the adult thing to have a conversation? "Are we friends? What does our friendship mean to you? Are you comfortable sharing with me once in a while?" It's been hard, but for the last week I haven't started any conversations with them, just to see if I'm right. So far, I am. What would you recommend?
Great questions, only way is to initiate more collective activities, say for example a trip to an event, maybe just go all out and have a party so you can invite anyone and everyone. This will gauge some feedback of how your coworkers think of you as. Try it
I cannot believe how fast your channel is growing🥳🥳 it only took 2 months to get almost 1k subscribers, your definitely going to be one of the big youtubers if you keep this up!
Out of total respect, that is not great advice. If you are in this situation of not having any friends, you probably aren’t getting invitations. Go volunteer is cliche advice with topic. Do you volunteer? With classes it really is the case that people are more interested in doing the activity than making friends. Yes definitely initiate and maintain friendships but that requires that the other person reciprocates. It is not your fault and sadly you should probably give up on that person if you keep trying to talk and plan stuff and they never have time for you
Unfortunately, I agree with you. Reciprocation is a pillar of a good friendship. Without the other side doing its share, one would always feel like this is a one-sided relationship where the other party doesn't care. That is such a sad feeling. I would rather have zero friends and focus on myself than invest in friends who put me on the bottom of their list. Doesn't mean they're evil, just that it's time for me to find better and more invested friends.
If interested, please watch the loneliness video below for a better understanding :)
th-cam.com/video/sHEVBo8NdQo/w-d-xo.html
My biggest problem is i see making friends as a burden since you have to wade through all the unsuited to find someone you value spending time with. I have worked at my current job for 23 years. In all that time i have made one friend. She eventually moved out of state.
This is one of the most underrated challenges adults face! Learning cold approach is literally the cure to all of this, once you have that skill you can meet anyone anywhere and you'll never not be able to make friends!
Right, adults face it, but we often try not to talk about it cus it’s sometimes embarrassing to yearn more friends.
@@reallifepsych3309 It's definitely viewed that way. But the most confident people are actually the ones who can admit that yearning and do the work to get the results they want!
When i was young i never tried to make friends. I just because friends with people that I spent time around. I never gave it a thought. I have never been included in an email or text.
Definitely tough making friends when you get older, especially during these times! I've moved a lot so I'm always having to meet new people and make new friends, but it seems I always stay connected with a few people from places I've lived which is good.
Yes. It’s also important to understand that making friends is hard, so that we don’t internalize how hard it is, but appreciate the ones we do have.
i would have to agree, it is definitely hard making new friends in these times.i am always out traveling as well. i always try to make an attempt to make a new friend wherever i go.
When i was younger I was the most social kid, loved...being around my friends, joined the scouts, was in it for 9 years, there were girls too, had a blast and was the complete clown and entertainer, the bond we all had was beautiful and i miss a lot of them, most of which left it years ago, me included. I had the same experience in school, had a blast. But i find the older you get, people aren’t as nice to you, the adults you liked, turn out to be miserable, people are only nice to kids and then talk to you like you’re nothing. These days, and way before covid was ever heard of, i have been a very solitary person. The loneliness can be horrible, and I’ve been doing it since I finished school in 2009. I have two friends, which im thankful for, but I want to make more, but I’m upset all the time and i feel really sad about being nearly 30 and alone and i feel like I’m better off because i find a lot of people really strange and unkind. Thankfully i have my art. And also women only want guys with loads of friends and a life and don’t have time for a guy nearly 30 with no job and not a big group of friends.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I AM ALWAYS STRIVING TO EXPAND MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS.
I’m young, graduating college this year and moving across the state for a job. I am really nervous about making new friends - especially when no one seems to like face to face conversation these days. Thank you for the tips!
Grate Video
aw thank you. I gotta work on this. I really like people, and I hate feeling so detached
Thank you - really struggling with feeling lonely, even though I talk to people all day long for work.
Right. It’s important that we understand that loneliness is not defined by how many people are around us, but in addition the quality of the relationships. There’s actually a loneliness video on this channel if you want to check it out.
This Real Life Psych youtube feature of How To Make Friends As An Adult definitely has some essential ideas that pertain to multiple life situations, finding this video is timely because I have been luckily receiving reminders in my life when it comes to making friends where I am now residing locally (because of the obvious common knowledge of making and keeping friends from prior places of residence andor employment is at times slightly different from making local friends in a new place of employment andor residence). Additionally, the examples referenced in open-mindedness, knowing where to look, and some of what to do to both initiate and maintain the friendship(s) once they are made are some of the multiple reasons why I am glad to have found this video.
Thanks for your work. There are definitly enough people who should hear this. Me included.
Basketball gave me a lot of new good friends during this pandemic, so this video has solid advice.
Thank you for the feedback!
When you refer to other videos (3:06) can you add links to them in the comments?
Yes, will do, sorry still getting used to this.
th-cam.com/video/sHEVBo8NdQo/w-d-xo.html
@@reallifepsych3309 Oh woops i meant the video description but this also works, thanks!
This is so true! It is such a different experience making friends as an adult! Great video topic, really enjoyed :)
Where are you from? How old are you?
How would this girl know? She's maybe early 20's. Isolation as you really get older, is bad, very bad. Do a video on that.
I Need to work on this!!!
Yes, I think we all do!
Hi! I have been trying to make friends at work, but I noticed for my two closest work friends that I was starting all of the conversations, and doing all of the work. I want to be friends with these coworkers, and I'm sure they consider me a friend, but I want them to put some work in, too. How do I balance that? Is the adult thing to have a conversation? "Are we friends? What does our friendship mean to you? Are you comfortable sharing with me once in a while?"
It's been hard, but for the last week I haven't started any conversations with them, just to see if I'm right. So far, I am.
What would you recommend?
Talk to them.
Great questions, only way is to initiate more collective activities, say for example a trip to an event, maybe just go all out and have a party so you can invite anyone and everyone. This will gauge some feedback of how your coworkers think of you as. Try it
I cannot believe how fast your channel is growing🥳🥳 it only took 2 months to get almost 1k subscribers, your definitely going to be one of the big youtubers if you keep this up!
Thank you, this is the motivation I need to keep going!
Helpful video thankyou :)
Definitely hard if you're a carer of sorts and so don't have work colleagues to make friends with.
Also you're glowing :)
I Don t trust ppl like that
I have been looking for this
There is nothing wrong with spending tme alone if you don't feel lonely.
Thank you so much for this video! This issue is not talked about enough. I appreciate all of the practical tips for meeting people! 😊
totally agree, i would love to see more videos with this content.
Спасибо большое
Out of total respect, that is not great advice. If you are in this situation of not having any friends, you probably aren’t getting invitations. Go volunteer is cliche advice with topic. Do you volunteer? With classes it really is the case that people are more interested in doing the activity than making friends.
Yes definitely initiate and maintain friendships but that requires that the other person reciprocates. It is not your fault and sadly you should probably give up on that person if you keep trying to talk and plan stuff and they never have time for you
Unfortunately, I agree with you. Reciprocation is a pillar of a good friendship. Without the other side doing its share, one would always feel like this is a one-sided relationship where the other party doesn't care. That is such a sad feeling. I would rather have zero friends and focus on myself than invest in friends who put me on the bottom of their list. Doesn't mean they're evil, just that it's time for me to find better and more invested friends.
Great tips like always! I liked the reminder to text a friend. I definitely need to do that more
Yes, that one’s so hard, especially when they don’t live in the same city.
Another great video! 💕 great tips too!
Thanks Ashley!!