It's amazing that you said that your friendships and your romantic relationships are at the same priority level. I think we are told that our romantic relationships need to be the strongest relationships that we have, but that can be a lot of pressure. Valuing friendships personally has brought me so much joy and meaning to my life, and so has my long term romantic relationship.
I’ve met some great people through bumblebff and i’ve gone on fun friend dates such as plant shopping, going to concerts, and perusing bookstores. I love the feeling of a new friendship blossoming and i’m looking forward to deepening my new friendships ☺️
I lived in the same town the first 25 years of my life and kinda just took having friends for granted. When I finally moved to a new town I REALLY underestimated how hard it would be to get new friends, even two years in I still need all the tips I can get. Thank you!
I love how earnest this video is. I have been struggling to keep or create close connections with friends (old and new) lately. When plans fall through or I find out I wasn't invited to something, I experience overwhelming feelings of anxiety that perhaps I'm not good/likable enough. I also live in a city that is often described as generally cold and unwelcome (Vancouver, Canada). It's been really tough, so I appreciate this video so much.
Fellow Vancouverite here! Yes, definitely hard to make friends (and I’m still in uni, where they say you’re supposed to meet lifelong friends..) Just remember that if you’re worried you may not be nice or friendly enough you’re likely great just the way you are :) Most nice and friendly people wonder how they can improve themselves/be nicer and friendlier
Idk if it’s just me but i feel like people are also a lot more closed off as we get older? Like i find it so much harder to start conversations with people i see around because everyone is just in their own worlds
emilysangiamo I agree, it feels so awkward to start conversations with people who seem like they couldn’t be bothered, it feels like you’re intruding on their personal space or something
I completely agree. I'm already a little awkward when trying to make new friends, I have so many thoughts racing, and then when the other person seems to be guarded, I just back down. I recently moved from NYC to PA, well three years ago, and still have not met a single friend. It's really hard. I wish It could be like my toddler, they just walk up to another kid, and say let's be friends. lol!
I decided to join a group based off my interests. I joined an LGBTQ+ chorus because I like singing, and my world has completely changed. I have not only a bunch of amazing friends I made as an adult, but also a second family.
Question...do you have to indentify in those catagories to join a group? There are recreational sports groups that I'd like to join but feel like I would not be accepted or welcomed.
I've lost so many friends due to them neglecting our relationship because they now have a new man. I've watched it happen throught my 20s and now in my 30s I'm looking for new friends who actually know the purpose of friendships especially since my family members also have done the same thing to me. People think that a romantic partners are all that they need, I don't understand where this comes from. Great video and yes I need to go to the library. 💚
It's nice (though a bit sad) to see I'm not the only one struggling with this in the comments. Can't we all just connect over our shared loneliness and become bffs with each other? haha jk... unless? This was a lovely video, Ingrid! Thank you
this couldn't have come at a better time. I've always struggled to have and to maintain friendships. at this current moment, I don't have any friends and that sucks cause i don't have anyone to talk to. the only people I talk to are my family and even with that im not open with them. As I get older, making new friends is so much harder. I feel stuck with where I am in life and the people I am around aren't people I can connect to. Moving to another country with people who can't relate to your life is so hard. I have yet to find people that share common interests with me and it hurts to know i can't vent about what i love to people without them not caring about it. But to be honest, i feel like i can't maintain friendships because I feel like people find me boring. then they move on and find someone better. All my life I've felt like a second choice and never number one. The last time I've had the best of friends, best friends, was in middle/junior high. since then i haven't had any friends that lasted more than two years. I always blamed myself on why can't i keep friendships. What am I doing wrong? And with that, my trust towards people just has been always so little. i guess in my head I have a feeling like they aren't going to last in my life due to past experiences so I become closed off. I'm about to turn 25 in January and here I am with no friends. I can really use a friend or someone to talk too. 😞🙈
I’ll be your friend. ☺️ I know what you mean about feeling like people might find you boring or not being a first choice. I’ve always felt that way growing up. I’ve never been into things such as clubbing, drinking or partying, and it seemed like a lot of the people I knew were into that scene (especially from age 18-26.) Right now I have zero friends, I only talk/hangout with my husband, family and cousins. I’m always open to new friendships though. 🌸✨
Hi! Could you use BumbleBFF or volunteer/activism? I found that volunteering is a great way to meet friends because the people are usually really nice and caring types and also you have some passion in common with them. You could try asking someone to go to coffee after a volunteer meeting or event.
I really felt that "instant conection" comment. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years and I made a conection with a guy at work but did not pursue a friendship cause I was scared of my ex fiance. Faat forward 5 months, I broke off my engagement and this guy became my friend in the blink of an eye and has been a really great support in my gloomy days 💜💜💜 I dared to be open after years of ignoring friends because of fear and it's the best thing I've ever done.
This was really interesting, I feel like when you have kids you have to repeat the process allll over again and make new “mom friends” which can be tough.
Thank you for this video, hearing others talking about growing their friendships is very comforting for me. This video made me realise that we are all (as people) always building our friendships like you would a romantic relationship. You don't just wake up and think, right cool, friendship completed, its all progress, and it takes work. So to anyone reading this (also telling myself), just know that whatever stage you are at on that journey, its okay, and you're doing great.
I made the experience that people are very surprised (in a positiv way) when I reach out to new neighbours or colleagues at work actively saying or sending a note "Hi you're new here, welcome:) Do you want to grab a coffee some time this week?" it is kind of sad that most of the time I get the response "sure, that's so nice. this never happend to me before"
I’ve loved connecting with other moms trough church, and then just having casual mom hangouts. I’ve also loved just starting conversations with different people on social media and becoming friends in that space as well!
Love, love, love this!!! Moved to a new city without knowing anyone, and it really is about “saying yes” and putting yourself out there!! So excited you have a new podcast!!
thank you for posting this! as an introverted 30 yr old, it has been difficult branching out and trying to meet new people, although it is something I deeply crave! these are all helpful tips on how to meet new friends and I will definitely be getting that book!
The shift that you speak of. I felt that so much when you mentioned it. The depth of opening up to someone. I really wanted to have that courage and you feel it in your bones that that friendship will never be the same. *sigh* 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
I would love for you to make a video on how to keep/maintain friendships when we all live such busy lives. I find it hard to prioritize friends when my life/work/family/etc feels like it takes up all of my free time.
This is really a great video! I struggle so much..I fell so lonely, because my friends all are in a relationship and the weekend is just the saddest part o f the week😭 thank you for sharing the tips ! Love from Italy 🇮🇹
I'm so happy that you're talking about this. When I first moved to Manhattan, I also didn't know anyone and my first six months in New York were painful, lonely, and full of missed connections. It was only when I made close friends that the city opened up for me and I stopped debating whether I should just move back home. I started a company called More to make it so that no-one needs to go through half a year of wanting to leave the city before they can begin taking advantage of the amazing people and moments it has to offer - so that anyone can begin making meaningful connections and memories as soon as their feet touch down on NY ground
Thanks a lot for this Ingrid 😘 making friends as an adult is quite difficult especially after college, when moving to another country or juat generally when entering the workforce ☺ lots of love from Austria
Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! I moved across the country to a city where I knew nobody two years ago, and have found it so so hard to make friends. After finishing this video, I went and texted someone I hung out with a few weeks back and hadn't heard from since. Anxiety likes to tell me that if someone hasn't messaged, it's because they lost interest, but you're right--it's never too late, and it's very likely they just feel the same awkwardness about following up. And you know what? Even if she doesn't respond, at least I put myself out there. x
An update even though I know nobody's reading: she replied and asked me if I wanted to go hang out at a festival tomorrow! And tomorrow's my birthday and before this I had no plans to spend it with anyone. Thank you again, Ingrid
I was just listening to your podcast One Step and your talk about the importance of female friendships, and you mentioned this youtube video, can't believe I'm so late to the game (at least in this one respect, 'cause I check in with you monthly) annnd that there may be a show based off the book "Text me when you get home," one terrific show I just finished watching on Crave TV is "Dollface" w/ Kat Dennings (along w/ High Fidelity - so good!! and Divorce, also highly recommend!!) and all of these shows really touch on the basis on having intimate female friendships, healthy, platonic, adult relationships. You are so wonderful Ingrid, and you truly have felt like a friend that I can turn to in this virtual world... since 2013 - so thank you so much, for continuing to show up, no matter the topic, or no matter your mood. I love you for being your unapologetic, authentic self!!
I just moved from CT to San Fransisco about a month ago and these tips are really helpful. I definitely recommend picking up a hobby, maybe something you did before, or something new. I joined a new dance studio when I moved out here and it is so nice to spend time with people who have similar interests. I haven’t made any lasting friends there yet but it is nice to walk in and see people I know. I would also say, don’t be afraid to wear merch/band tshirts, anything that represents your interests. I have Harry Potter earrings that have started 3 different conversations so far - people like to comment on things they recognize so you know they have a shared interest with you!!
Your maturity and growth over the years has been inspiring and enlightening. Thank you for sharing your insight with us, Ingrid! I don't have many friends at all and hearing you discuss this topic was interesting and helpful. 💛🤗
Wow it’s like you knew I needed a video like this! I just moved to Sweden from Canada to start my masters degree and I’m finding that making friends is harder than I thought it would be. I’m getting to know some other international students, but most of them are only here for a couple months, and I’m struggling to find other masters students and Swedish students who I can connect with. I have joined a club volleyball team though so hopefully I can make some good connections with the ladies on my team 😊 I do want to make sure I make some progress with making friends with other masters students though, because everyone says you need a good crew of people when working through your degree that are going through the same struggles as you are. Here’s to saying yes more!
This video is very necessary and so true. I used to be the biggest “social butterfly,” and knew everyone, everywhere I went. Now, I’m 40, and a mom of an eight year old and don’t have many friends. I’ve realized that at this age, you tend to learn who your “true” friends are. And, it’s difficult to make friends when you’re a full time mom, employed full time, and has a husband who works 70 hours a week. I don’t go out for happy hour on Fridays with other couples, I don’t have a mommy play date group, I don’t have a mother’s group. I have two good friends who commiserate over our busy lives and enjoy the time that we have with each other!
This video really made me reconnect with Ingrid. I grew up watching her and growing with her and I really felt the emotion and love in this video. We love you Ingrid!
This was so needed Ingrid, thank you! I’m moving to Bristol (I’m in the UK) tomorrow to begin my MA and I’m both excited and terrified at the prospect of having to forge a whole new band of friendships 💛
I really needed this. I just moved in Chicago and making friends in hard. My advice is to be open, kind and look out for opportunities to connect with people! Thanks Ingrid! 🥰😍
I've recently moved to a big city, so I'm feeling all these feels right now!! Also a moment of deepening friendship was when a pal and I sat in a park in London and read each other's natal charts and told each other our life stories basically. This pal has very intimate friendships, and I'm really lucky to be a part of one!
This was such a refreshing and authentic video! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and suggestions with us. Your videos feel so raw and courageous, which is such a rarity these days. If you're ever looking for friends a little bit outside of NY, I'm in Jersey and think you are one of the coolest and most bad ass chicks out there. I've been following you for years and never really comment but I had to reach out about this very necessary and relevant video! I'm so glad you are in a good place right now :)
hi, Ingrid ! Thank you so much !!! This is the video that I really wanted so baddly. Few months ago I quit my Job and decided to move on to new chapter in my life. Recently I just moved to Singapore and I'm living here alone. For me, I feel like this subject is awkward and shame when you have zero friends around you. Me being adults here, It's also feels wierd to let anyone knows that I'm not good at socializing. BUT, to hearing you saying that it's ok to express that feelings to other people was kind of amazing things that I learn from you. Huge thanks to you.
Thank you for this video, for it gave me hope that I can find close friends, after I lost my old ones. It's especially important to me because I'm quiet shy and don't connect easily to others
Thank you for this video! I think friendship is one of those beautiful important things that not all of us know how to cultivate. At leas I was never good at friendship, I moved a lot as a kid and is hard to me to keep friendship and also pick them well. It feels like I always picked friends who wasn't good for me or instead of bring some good energy to my life they were like vampires to my positivity and good energy. I am trying to change that, I think after the pandemic is a good moment to put friendship again in my priorities, and you know, never let it go down again haha... thank you Ingrid! Awesome video
I think the idea of "text me when you get home" can be great for romantic relationships too. Especially in this online dating era and with hook-up culture, we tend to jump right into romance but skip over building some kind of friendship first. One of the ways I knew my boyfriend and I were going to work as a couple was that we didn't feel obligated to follow antiquated rules like 3 days before calling, and he genuinely cared that I texted him when I got home so he knew I was safe (and conversely would always text me when he got home). It also gave us a chance to talk about those things that go through your brain driving home from a date. Now we live together, so the home safe text doesn't really exist anymore, but when we get home from doing things we still always talk about the things that have been done, whether we did them together or not
After struggling finding friends as an adult, I started connecting to people via my dog. I’m in dog walking fb groups and it’s so easy to meet up with people because they have to go on walks anyways and you have something to talk about, so it isn’t awkward at all.
Thank you! I just moved to a new country and have left behind a great friend group back home. I'm in uni so I go to as many social events as possible. But it's still hard to find meaningful friendships. I'm also trying to start up a cooking club in my building. I feel like nothing brings people together like food!
I recently moved to a new town where I don't know anyone and I have yet to pluck up the courage to reach out to people and make friends. But this video has helped, thank you!
Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! I just moved from Atlanta to Chicago and left behind all my family, friends, and coworkers. I’ve met other females through my son at his school and birthday parties, but I’ve been afraid to put myself out there and try to spark up a friendship with the other moms. Your video has given me the courage to try and make some real connections. I really miss having friend dates and girl talk. Thanks, again! 😊
This is really refreshing. I've graduated college and moved to a new city alone and I have found it SO hard to make friends when you don't just have peers around you all the time. Especially because I'm young working in healthcare and all my coworkers are a lot older than me. I have my dogs and I'm really active with them hiking all the time, but I'm so lonely. I miss being surrounded by friends, but I literally don't know how to make new ones as an adult ):
Love this video and your tips! I've really been missing strong friendships in my life recently and have been struggling with how to connect with people as an adult in NYC. I'm planning on trying out bumble bff and reading through the comments here there's a few people who mention they've had success on it! Thanks Ingrid ❤️
Thank you so much for making this! I moved to NYC 8 years ago for college, and unfortunately, after college, most of my friends left the city and I also was working at a new company. For a couple years, my girlfriend was truly one of my only friends (as well as one of her close friends but we didn't see her much). I started a book club in January and have since made some new friends and have found the tips you mentioned to be really helpful. One of the things I'm nervous about is wondering when it will get to the point that some of us are really comfortable with each other and truly are best friends. Also, going to use some of these tips to continue meeting people and finding other friends. I think especially in longer-term relationships, it's important to have platonic relationships as well and I've seen in just the past months how healthy this has been for us to meet new people!
This was such a great video! Thank you for sharing your tips, Ingrid. I’ve gone the last four years without really having any friends, and even before that I only had two friends I would occasionally chat with and go out to lunch with. Lately I have been wishing I had a good friend or two just to connect with. This video was the push I needed to get back out there and try to make new friends! ☺️
This video came exactly at the right time for me. I've been so down the past few days because I just finished my Master's in London (originally from the states), so only a year ago I was in a position of needing to make a whole new friend group because I moved to a new city across the world. But, over the course of the year I made so many strong female friendships. Now, pretty much all of my friend group has moved all over the world for their careers after graduating, so I feel like I'm starting all over again but in a worse position because I don't have the help of uni to meet people... Feeling so down about it, but I have downloaded Bumble BFF after watching this video and hoping to meet new girlfriends that way! Thanks Ingrid
so I travel for work so it is INCREDIBLY HARD to make friends while touring. I don’t have a lot of consistency in locations but it’s made me cling on to the friends I have back at my home and grow those connections even more.
I just moved to Phoenix, AZ and have been down here for 2 months. I will be starting a new job on Monday and I will try your advice and be open to people with whom I meet. This is my very first time writing a comment to anyone. But your advice on the matter compelled me. I want to meet new people and have great friendships in the future.
Thank you SO much for this video. I recently moved across the country and it has been three weeks since I've settled in. I have had difficulty finding friends I actually connect with on a deeper level but I am trying to be patient and put myself out there as much as possible!
THANK YOU for making this video. This has been something I have been struggling with and have been wanting advice on for awhile, but especially the last year. In high school I got pretty distant from most of my friends because they either left the school or we just grew apart and it left me feeling pretty lonely. I’m now married, done with school, and am craving female friendships but I haven’t known where to find them or how to pursue them. This video was exactly the information I have been wanting and needing.
Thanks so much for posting this!! 💕 I’m in my early 30s and i feel like friends are moving away or going to their next life stage that i cant quite relate to yet. I have definitely wondered how to meet new friends now that i’m done with school and outside of work haha, and its reassuring to hear i’m not the only one. :)
I enjoy going to free community workout classes! They're usually outside and pop-up workouts where a gym comes out and just hosts a free class. I made two friends just chatting to a couple of them after the workout and asking if they'd like to exchange numbers! It felt cheesy to ask, but I'm so glad I did because they're great girls and we're now friends.
These are really good tips! I have a lot of trouble making friends and even with connecting with people because I’m quiet. I don’t know how people make friends so easily! I like that you gave specific ways and places to go to meet people. Most people tell me to “just get out there” and I’m like “where?!” People always say to go to bars and clubs, but that isn’t my type of place. The library sounds like a good idea and I might even give that bumble thing a try.
I think the best activities for friends dates are things that allow time to talk while still being active (if you are active people) or something unique. I love hiking and certain friends do as well so when we have the chance to get together it is almost always for a hike or a cookout in a state park (or even better a camping weekend!). With other friends I like getting dressed up and going to a tea house for high tea.
There are also smaller subreddits too and they are a great way to make connections! Also a great place to meet friends is volunteering or activism because you have at least some of the same values!
My very very first Bumble BFF date I found one of my best friends!! We met last May and we see each other almost every week. Honestly 10/10 I was so nervous but when we couldn’t stop chatting over the app we decided it was worth it to take the risk to meet! And then we hardly stopped talking on our friend date!
The whole time I was watching this I just kept thinking that the advice is simply the principles we typically apply to dating to platonic relationships. This is so important, particularly in our society that forces romantic relationships onto us as the one and only ideal. We can get that same romance elsewhere! Alok Vaid-Menon has talked about the beauty of finding romance in friendships and I really hear that echoed here.
Its crazy to think that so many amazing women are struggling to find friendships. Im in the same boat with them yet we all want the same thing. I feel lost at the thought of where to look, Ive been thinking Im turning 30 in a few months and I havent got a group or a few people to celebrate with, its kinda sad but true. Love your videos Ingrid! Happy vibes always xx
This was such a useful video. I need this, and I think a lot of people can relate to this. Making friendships as an adult is so different than being in school. I'm glad you talk candidly about how challenging making friends can be :)
Very helpful! I will try these ideas out. Im in a new city (yet again) and the older I get, the harder it has been to make friends. I was especially touched by the part of the video towards the end about vulnerable moments taking the friendship to a new level. I believe that might be part of what had held me back from building strong friendships, so will take note and learn to embrace that instead.
Thank you so much for this video…. Recently left a super codependent relationship and I’m just ready to move on. This was very inspiring. Thank you for giving me hope!!
Something I did yesterday that I'm really proud of myself for was asking a stranger that I had a really awesome random connection with if they had an Instagram that I could follow. We were just talking on the bus and really got on well, and I thought about all of the classes that I took where I met awesome people, but was too shy or embarrassed to reach out outside of that class. So, I decided I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass this time just so I could think about that lost connection forever. It's so much more challenging making friends as an adult than it is when you're in school. Tip: I really think asking for a social media handle as opposed to phone number is a good tip for people who are nervous about it, because most people are so much less paranoid about giving them out as opposed to their phone numbers. And following someone online is an easier segue into a conversation than just sending a cold text after a random encounter.
Thanks for making this video :) just rewatched it! I’m moving to LA myself at the end of the month and arming myself with all the tools to make some new friends!
I’ve been living in LA for about 3 years now and I’ve had a couple of friend dates but they’re not consistent as much as I’d like them to be. I also always see my coworkers hanging out without inviting me and it kind of puts me down to be honest. I don’t want to say anything or invite myself because honestly that’s not really cool. Sometimes I just feel like the odd one out. Even back home where I came from I never really had a best friend... hopefully one day I can have a close friend. Just one at least. I have a boyfriend and sometimes I tell myself that should be enough but I do have the urge of being a social butterfly and hanging out with friends but I just don’t get invited anywhere. Should I maybe gather up coworkers myself for a hangout ? I guess I just get scared . by the way, thanks for releasing this video. I felt like this topic has been on my mind a lot.
Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! Making friends as an adult women is very challenging--I discuss this with my close friends all the time. I've found a lot of comfort in knowing that when you go into a situation knowing that the other person is probably as nervous as you are about making friends it's really not so scary! Bought the book you recommended and can not wait to read
Meetup women’s groups are great! Most of the time it is just a larger group of great women who are being social, but I have occasionally made friends that went outside the group activities. Good luck 🍀 everyone!
This was a video I soooo needed!! I am a new mom and need mom friends bad! As I watched this video I downloaded a "meet mom's near me" app and have made 2 new friends that I'm making plans with as I type this! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate your recommendations, I moved to a new city in the last year and struggled with finding friends and I feel like I still am. I thankfully can go back to the old city once a month usually but I realize it’s important to invest in local friendships. I find work friends are easiest to see during work but it’s hard to schedule friend dates. So instead we do favors for each other like picking up some decorations for their home project or bringing food to share to work. You can always squeeze in a friend date on lunch if your free time schedules don’t align often. :)
I love this video so much. I'm barely an adult lol (just graduated from college this year) and I have a lot of really close friends who I still see and talk to regularly from all stages of my life, but I'm always excited about meeting new people. Recently I've been on tinder just bc I was bored one day (a surprising number of people really do just want friends on there lol) and though I don't really open the app a lot I met this guy who seems really chill and very different from me and my other friends and we've hung out and plan to watch the Dora movie together next week since none of my other friends will watch it with me lol. It's just nice to be able to get to know someone and to let yourself be known to someone new with no pressures, no expectations, but the potential to really enjoy someone else's company and form a new bond with someone who you probably wouldn't think to be friends with if you weren't seeking out friendship. Not entirely sure what the point of my comment is, but forming new relationships with people (who you have no obligation to) can be really fun and rewarding.
Thank you much for this well-timed video! In the next month I’ll be doing a cross-country move with my partner (she’s already at the new location). As a shy and introverted person, I have become sooo anxious that I won’t meet anyone and will feel isolated. Definitely ordering that book! And will also look at meetup groups in the area to start putting myself out there. This is one of my favorite videos from you, thank you!! 🙏🏼
i literally was thinking about how lonely i am as i saw this video on my timeline... all of my friends left for college this year and i stayed behind. i’m super lonely and very sad; my best friends are all so far away. thank you for making this video❤️
... What about writting them Letters and talk with them in this "Paper Way?"... And maybe when you go to Post Office because of this Letters to send to them, you will meet new Friend or Friends.... Because... Luck happend 💚🍀... Good Luck to you... 🍀
I've found awesome adult friends through running groups, such as Florida Striders and the Jacksonville Track Club (JTC). Particularly JTC because they provide members with a Half Marathon Training class in the fall and a Gate Training Class in the winter. The same group of runners, plus some new who discover the classes, sign up for both classes and it's a great way to find other runners who run your pace as well as develop lasting relationships with other adults. Most runners love to talk and socialize, big extroverts, and it's great to meet up with other adults who enjoy running as much as I do in my spare time. I'm usually the youngest, even among other runners in my group who are in their 30s, so it's great to soak up their advice and encouragement because they've been running longer than I have. It's also great to have a group of runners to hold you accountable to your running schedule, especially when you have a race that you're training for on the horizon.
I relate so much Ingrid! I recent went to another city for work and I had to stay there for six months.I struggled a bit but after I started taking initiative and stopped being insecure everything went well!
Thank you so much for this video! I've been thinking about making friends as an adult for the last few years and this is exactly what I've come up with too! I think going in with genuine curiosity about the other person is key and not trying to make them have any certain opinion of you. My very favorite friend dates have been at places where you can get to know each other better but have an activity. I like going on hikes or to the farmers market because you have something to do with your nervous energy.
Thank you for this! I feel like it's hard to make friends now because I have trust issues but I'm working on that and trying to find people who are inspiring and motivated to go out and get out of their comfort zone. I wanna get out and explore different places with people who actually wanna do those things as well, rather than stay in your own town and feel like you have no one. I accept you. You're so inspiring. We should be friends & go watch a live band at a coffee shop on day, *AS FRIENDS* ^-^ That'd be a lot of fun! ^-^ 🙌 And thank you so much for the book recommendation. I needed a new read so thank you! ❤
It's amazing that you said that your friendships and your romantic relationships are at the same priority level. I think we are told that our romantic relationships need to be the strongest relationships that we have, but that can be a lot of pressure. Valuing friendships personally has brought me so much joy and meaning to my life, and so has my long term romantic relationship.
So true, I never heard anyone say this before!!! And I never though of it like this before.
It’s like you knew I needed this right now. Thank you Ingrid ❤️
Omg my name is also Julianna!!!
@@juliannaortega4817 Lol heyyy twin!!
omg right? same 💕
I’ve met some great people through bumblebff and i’ve gone on fun friend dates such as plant shopping, going to concerts, and perusing bookstores. I love the feeling of a new friendship blossoming and i’m looking forward to deepening my new friendships ☺️
Lucky you ! Unfortunately its not really popular in Norway, had more luck on Bumbledate so 😅Where did you try it ?
im looking forward to trying it out!
I lived in the same town the first 25 years of my life and kinda just took having friends for granted. When I finally moved to a new town I REALLY underestimated how hard it would be to get new friends, even two years in I still need all the tips I can get. Thank you!
I love how earnest this video is.
I have been struggling to keep or create close connections with friends (old and new) lately. When plans fall through or I find out I wasn't invited to something, I experience overwhelming feelings of anxiety that perhaps I'm not good/likable enough. I also live in a city that is often described as generally cold and unwelcome (Vancouver, Canada). It's been really tough, so I appreciate this video so much.
wow, i live here too and i'm going through the same experience. only it's a lot more difficult now with COVID around. it's been terribly lonely.
Fellow Vancouverite here! Yes, definitely hard to make friends (and I’m still in uni, where they say you’re supposed to meet lifelong friends..) Just remember that if you’re worried you may not be nice or friendly enough you’re likely great just the way you are :) Most nice and friendly people wonder how they can improve themselves/be nicer and friendlier
same boat girl, but toronto. its hard there are a lot of cold people.
Idk if it’s just me but i feel like people are also a lot more closed off as we get older? Like i find it so much harder to start conversations with people i see around because everyone is just in their own worlds
emilysangiamo I agree, it feels so awkward to start conversations with people who seem like they couldn’t be bothered, it feels like you’re intruding on their personal space or something
This is so true, like you wanna put yourself out there but other people don’t want to reciprocate
Agreed...I know for me I feel so guarded after feeling so betrayed in the past so it prevents me from being open
I agree. And I feel like I run into where people have friends and dont really need a new friend
I completely agree. I'm already a little awkward when trying to make new friends, I have so many thoughts racing, and then when the other person seems to be guarded, I just back down. I recently moved from NYC to PA, well three years ago, and still have not met a single friend. It's really hard. I wish It could be like my toddler, they just walk up to another kid, and say let's be friends. lol!
I decided to join a group based off my interests. I joined an LGBTQ+ chorus because I like singing, and my world has completely changed. I have not only a bunch of amazing friends I made as an adult, but also a second family.
Question...do you have to indentify in those catagories to join a group? There are recreational sports groups that I'd like to join but feel like I would not be accepted or welcomed.
I love this video so much! Can you do one on breaking up with friends?
I've lost so many friends due to them neglecting our relationship because they now have a new man. I've watched it happen throught my 20s and now in my 30s I'm looking for new friends who actually know the purpose of friendships especially since my family members also have done the same thing to me. People think that a romantic partners are all that they need, I don't understand where this comes from.
Great video and yes I need to go to the library. 💚
can we.. i am 23...is it okay to u...age gap doesnt matter to me
It's nice (though a bit sad) to see I'm not the only one struggling with this in the comments. Can't we all just connect over our shared loneliness and become bffs with each other? haha jk... unless?
This was a lovely video, Ingrid! Thank you
Since we're talking about friendship, who wants to be my friend. I'm Nassima from Algeria
I thought the same thing reading the comments haha :)
@@elisen21 great
💕
Yeah! Let’s all be friends right?? 🙋♀️🥳
Listening is a huge part of my great friendships! Truly listening to your friends encourages strong bonds, knowledge, TRUST and love!!
this couldn't have come at a better time. I've always struggled to have and to maintain friendships. at this current moment, I don't have any friends and that sucks cause i don't have anyone to talk to. the only people I talk to are my family and even with that im not open with them. As I get older, making new friends is so much harder. I feel stuck with where I am in life and the people I am around aren't people I can connect to. Moving to another country with people who can't relate to your life is so hard. I have yet to find people that share common interests with me and it hurts to know i can't vent about what i love to people without them not caring about it. But to be honest, i feel like i can't maintain friendships because I feel like people find me boring. then they move on and find someone better. All my life I've felt like a second choice and never number one. The last time I've had the best of friends, best friends, was in middle/junior high. since then i haven't had any friends that lasted more than two years. I always blamed myself on why can't i keep friendships. What am I doing wrong? And with that, my trust towards people just has been always so little. i guess in my head I have a feeling like they aren't going to last in my life due to past experiences so I become closed off. I'm about to turn 25 in January and here I am with no friends. I can really use a friend or someone to talk too. 😞🙈
I would be friends with you! I have lost all my friendships this past year. It's tough.
@@chellelaw667 Girls it would be so nice that you start a beautiful friendship thanks to this video :) I hope you will exchange mails :)
I’ll be your friend. ☺️ I know what you mean about feeling like people might find you boring or not being a first choice. I’ve always felt that way growing up. I’ve never been into things such as clubbing, drinking or partying, and it seemed like a lot of the people I knew were into that scene (especially from age 18-26.) Right now I have zero friends, I only talk/hangout with my husband, family and cousins. I’m always open to new friendships though. 🌸✨
💕 aww girlie, I can relate
Hi! Could you use BumbleBFF or volunteer/activism? I found that volunteering is a great way to meet friends because the people are usually really nice and caring types and also you have some passion in common with them. You could try asking someone to go to coffee after a volunteer meeting or event.
I really felt that "instant conection" comment. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years and I made a conection with a guy at work but did not pursue a friendship cause I was scared of my ex fiance. Faat forward 5 months, I broke off my engagement and this guy became my friend in the blink of an eye and has been a really great support in my gloomy days 💜💜💜 I dared to be open after years of ignoring friends because of fear and it's the best thing I've ever done.
Can i say how much i love ingrids voice and how slow she talks😍i love listening to her❤️
This is definitely a subject that needs to be talked about! Thank you for sharing, this is so relatable!
This was really interesting, I feel like when you have kids you have to repeat the process allll over again and make new “mom friends” which can be tough.
Thank you for this video, hearing others talking about growing their friendships is very comforting for me. This video made me realise that we are all (as people) always building our friendships like you would a romantic relationship. You don't just wake up and think, right cool, friendship completed, its all progress, and it takes work. So to anyone reading this (also telling myself), just know that whatever stage you are at on that journey, its okay, and you're doing great.
I made the experience that people are very surprised (in a positiv way) when I reach out to new neighbours or colleagues at work actively saying or sending a note "Hi you're new here, welcome:) Do you want to grab a coffee some time this week?" it is kind of sad that most of the time I get the response "sure, that's so nice. this never happend to me before"
I’ve loved connecting with other moms trough church, and then just having casual mom hangouts. I’ve also loved just starting conversations with different people on social media and becoming friends in that space as well!
This is everything I needed! I moved to NYC and work in a job where I don’t interact with coworkers, the struggle is so real
💕
Love, love, love this!!!
Moved to a new city without knowing anyone, and it really is about “saying yes” and putting yourself out there!!
So excited you have a new podcast!!
I had to pause the video before I continued watching because GIRL ! Idk if the shirt or your makeup but you are glowing !!! lol 💛
thank you for posting this! as an introverted 30 yr old, it has been difficult branching out and trying to meet new people, although it is something I deeply crave! these are all helpful tips on how to meet new friends and I will definitely be getting that book!
The shift that you speak of. I felt that so much when you mentioned it. The depth of opening up to someone.
I really wanted to have that courage and you feel it in your bones that that friendship will never be the same. *sigh* 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
I would love for you to make a video on how to keep/maintain friendships when we all live such busy lives. I find it hard to prioritize friends when my life/work/family/etc feels like it takes up all of my free time.
This is really a great video! I struggle so much..I fell so lonely, because my friends all are in a relationship and the weekend is just the saddest part o f the week😭 thank you for sharing the tips ! Love from Italy 🇮🇹
I'm so happy that you're talking about this. When I first moved to Manhattan, I also didn't know anyone and my first six months in New York were painful, lonely, and full of missed connections. It was only when I made close friends that the city opened up for me and I stopped debating whether I should just move back home. I started a company called More to make it so that no-one needs to go through half a year of wanting to leave the city before they can begin taking advantage of the amazing people and moments it has to offer - so that anyone can begin making meaningful connections and memories as soon as their feet touch down on NY ground
Thanks a lot for this Ingrid 😘 making friends as an adult is quite difficult especially after college, when moving to another country or juat generally when entering the workforce ☺ lots of love from Austria
I really needed this. I have trouble making friends. This is so helpful for my emotional health.
I have trouble making friends to. i'm 40
Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! I moved across the country to a city where I knew nobody two years ago, and have found it so so hard to make friends. After finishing this video, I went and texted someone I hung out with a few weeks back and hadn't heard from since. Anxiety likes to tell me that if someone hasn't messaged, it's because they lost interest, but you're right--it's never too late, and it's very likely they just feel the same awkwardness about following up. And you know what? Even if she doesn't respond, at least I put myself out there. x
An update even though I know nobody's reading: she replied and asked me if I wanted to go hang out at a festival tomorrow! And tomorrow's my birthday and before this I had no plans to spend it with anyone. Thank you again, Ingrid
Sometimes I feel like I give a lot in my friendships but rarely receive anything in return so I kind of stopped making an effort as time passed by.
I was just listening to your podcast One Step and your talk about the importance of female friendships, and you mentioned this youtube video, can't believe I'm so late to the game (at least in this one respect, 'cause I check in with you monthly) annnd that there may be a show based off the book "Text me when you get home," one terrific show I just finished watching on Crave TV is "Dollface" w/ Kat Dennings (along w/ High Fidelity - so good!! and Divorce, also highly recommend!!) and all of these shows really touch on the basis on having intimate female friendships, healthy, platonic, adult relationships. You are so wonderful Ingrid, and you truly have felt like a friend that I can turn to in this virtual world... since 2013 - so thank you so much, for continuing to show up, no matter the topic, or no matter your mood. I love you for being your unapologetic, authentic self!!
I just moved from CT to San Fransisco about a month ago and these tips are really helpful. I definitely recommend picking up a hobby, maybe something you did before, or something new. I joined a new dance studio when I moved out here and it is so nice to spend time with people who have similar interests. I haven’t made any lasting friends there yet but it is nice to walk in and see people I know. I would also say, don’t be afraid to wear merch/band tshirts, anything that represents your interests. I have Harry Potter earrings that have started 3 different conversations so far - people like to comment on things they recognize so you know they have a shared interest with you!!
Your maturity and growth over the years has been inspiring and enlightening. Thank you for sharing your insight with us, Ingrid! I don't have many friends at all and hearing you discuss this topic was interesting and helpful. 💛🤗
She’s come a long way since the boyfriend approved date outfits video! Haha
Wow it’s like you knew I needed a video like this! I just moved to Sweden from Canada to start my masters degree and I’m finding that making friends is harder than I thought it would be. I’m getting to know some other international students, but most of them are only here for a couple months, and I’m struggling to find other masters students and Swedish students who I can connect with. I have joined a club volleyball team though so hopefully I can make some good connections with the ladies on my team 😊 I do want to make sure I make some progress with making friends with other masters students though, because everyone says you need a good crew of people when working through your degree that are going through the same struggles as you are. Here’s to saying yes more!
This video is very necessary and so true. I used to be the biggest “social butterfly,” and knew everyone, everywhere I went. Now, I’m 40, and a mom of an eight year old and don’t have many friends. I’ve realized that at this age, you tend to learn who your “true” friends are. And, it’s difficult to make friends when you’re a full time mom, employed full time, and has a husband who works 70 hours a week. I don’t go out for happy hour on Fridays with other couples, I don’t have a mommy play date group, I don’t have a mother’s group. I have two good friends who commiserate over our busy lives and enjoy the time that we have with each other!
It's literally like dating 😝 lol ... It's crazy how similar they both are.
Angelique Lopez it really is 😂
Legit
This video really made me reconnect with Ingrid. I grew up watching her and growing with her and I really felt the emotion and love in this video. We love you Ingrid!
This was so needed Ingrid, thank you! I’m moving to Bristol (I’m in the UK) tomorrow to begin my MA and I’m both excited and terrified at the prospect of having to forge a whole new band of friendships 💛
I really needed this. I just moved in Chicago and making friends in hard. My advice is to be open, kind and look out for opportunities to connect with people! Thanks Ingrid! 🥰😍
bemylittleprince I just moved to Chicago as well and am dealing with the same thing!
I've recently moved to a big city, so I'm feeling all these feels right now!! Also a moment of deepening friendship was when a pal and I sat in a park in London and read each other's natal charts and told each other our life stories basically. This pal has very intimate friendships, and I'm really lucky to be a part of one!
This was such a refreshing and authentic video! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and suggestions with us. Your videos feel so raw and courageous, which is such a rarity these days. If you're ever looking for friends a little bit outside of NY, I'm in Jersey and think you are one of the coolest and most bad ass chicks out there. I've been following you for years and never really comment but I had to reach out about this very necessary and relevant video! I'm so glad you are in a good place right now :)
Love love love this. It is hard to make strong friendship as adults and this is really great advice!
hi, Ingrid !
Thank you so much !!!
This is the video that I really wanted so baddly. Few months ago I quit my Job and decided to move on to new chapter in my life. Recently I just moved to Singapore and I'm living here alone.
For me, I feel like this subject is awkward and shame when you have zero friends around you.
Me being adults here, It's also feels wierd to let anyone knows that I'm not good at socializing.
BUT, to hearing you saying that it's ok to express that feelings to other people was kind of amazing things that I learn from you.
Huge thanks to you.
Thank you for this video, for it gave me hope that I can find close friends, after I lost my old ones. It's especially important to me because I'm quiet shy and don't connect easily to others
*thank you so much!! I struggle so much just like many others! Thank you!*
Hope I can inspire people like you with my channel 💕💕
Thank you for this video! I think friendship is one of those beautiful important things that not all of us know how to cultivate. At leas I was never good at friendship, I moved a lot as a kid and is hard to me to keep friendship and also pick them well. It feels like I always picked friends who wasn't good for me or instead of bring some good energy to my life they were like vampires to my positivity and good energy. I am trying to change that, I think after the pandemic is a good moment to put friendship again in my priorities, and you know, never let it go down again haha... thank you Ingrid! Awesome video
I think the idea of "text me when you get home" can be great for romantic relationships too. Especially in this online dating era and with hook-up culture, we tend to jump right into romance but skip over building some kind of friendship first. One of the ways I knew my boyfriend and I were going to work as a couple was that we didn't feel obligated to follow antiquated rules like 3 days before calling, and he genuinely cared that I texted him when I got home so he knew I was safe (and conversely would always text me when he got home). It also gave us a chance to talk about those things that go through your brain driving home from a date. Now we live together, so the home safe text doesn't really exist anymore, but when we get home from doing things we still always talk about the things that have been done, whether we did them together or not
After struggling finding friends as an adult, I started connecting to people via my dog. I’m in dog walking fb groups and it’s so easy to meet up with people because they have to go on walks anyways and you have something to talk about, so it isn’t awkward at all.
Thank you! I just moved to a new country and have left behind a great friend group back home. I'm in uni so I go to as many social events as possible. But it's still hard to find meaningful friendships. I'm also trying to start up a cooking club in my building. I feel like nothing brings people together like food!
I recently moved to a new town where I don't know anyone and I have yet to pluck up the courage to reach out to people and make friends. But this video has helped, thank you!
Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! I just moved from Atlanta to Chicago and left behind all my family, friends, and coworkers. I’ve met other females through my son at his school and birthday parties, but I’ve been afraid to put myself out there and try to spark up a friendship with the other moms. Your video has given me the courage to try and make some real connections. I really miss having friend dates and girl talk. Thanks, again! 😊
This is really refreshing. I've graduated college and moved to a new city alone and I have found it SO hard to make friends when you don't just have peers around you all the time. Especially because I'm young working in healthcare and all my coworkers are a lot older than me. I have my dogs and I'm really active with them hiking all the time, but I'm so lonely. I miss being surrounded by friends, but I literally don't know how to make new ones as an adult ):
Let we be friends?
Love this video and your tips! I've really been missing strong friendships in my life recently and have been struggling with how to connect with people as an adult in NYC. I'm planning on trying out bumble bff and reading through the comments here there's a few people who mention they've had success on it! Thanks Ingrid ❤️
Thank you so much for making this! I moved to NYC 8 years ago for college, and unfortunately, after college, most of my friends left the city and I also was working at a new company. For a couple years, my girlfriend was truly one of my only friends (as well as one of her close friends but we didn't see her much). I started a book club in January and have since made some new friends and have found the tips you mentioned to be really helpful. One of the things I'm nervous about is wondering when it will get to the point that some of us are really comfortable with each other and truly are best friends. Also, going to use some of these tips to continue meeting people and finding other friends. I think especially in longer-term relationships, it's important to have platonic relationships as well and I've seen in just the past months how healthy this has been for us to meet new people!
This was such a great video! Thank you for sharing your tips, Ingrid. I’ve gone the last four years without really having any friends, and even before that I only had two friends I would occasionally chat with and go out to lunch with. Lately I have been wishing I had a good friend or two just to connect with. This video was the push I needed to get back out there and try to make new friends! ☺️
Let we be friends?
This video came exactly at the right time for me. I've been so down the past few days because I just finished my Master's in London (originally from the states), so only a year ago I was in a position of needing to make a whole new friend group because I moved to a new city across the world. But, over the course of the year I made so many strong female friendships. Now, pretty much all of my friend group has moved all over the world for their careers after graduating, so I feel like I'm starting all over again but in a worse position because I don't have the help of uni to meet people... Feeling so down about it, but I have downloaded Bumble BFF after watching this video and hoping to meet new girlfriends that way! Thanks Ingrid
so I travel for work so it is INCREDIBLY HARD to make friends while touring. I don’t have a lot of consistency in locations but it’s made me cling on to the friends I have back at my home and grow those connections even more.
Thank you for sharing this!! It gives me warm fuzzy feelings haha I ADORE my friends! Amazing advice 🥰🥰🥰
Can we make new friends
I just moved to Phoenix, AZ and have been down here for 2 months. I will be starting a new job on Monday and I will try your advice and be open to people with whom I meet. This is my very first time writing a comment to anyone. But your advice on the matter compelled me. I want to meet new people and have great friendships in the future.
This is such a wonderful video, Ingrid! Loved it - thank you!
Thank you SO much for this video. I recently moved across the country and it has been three weeks since I've settled in. I have had difficulty finding friends I actually connect with on a deeper level but I am trying to be patient and put myself out there as much as possible!
THANK YOU for making this video. This has been something I have been struggling with and have been wanting advice on for awhile, but especially the last year. In high school I got pretty distant from most of my friends because they either left the school or we just grew apart and it left me feeling pretty lonely. I’m now married, done with school, and am craving female friendships but I haven’t known where to find them or how to pursue them. This video was exactly the information I have been wanting and needing.
Thanks so much for posting this!! 💕 I’m in my early 30s and i feel like friends are moving away or going to their next life stage that i cant quite relate to yet. I have definitely wondered how to meet new friends now that i’m done with school and outside of work haha, and its reassuring to hear i’m not the only one. :)
I enjoy going to free community workout classes! They're usually outside and pop-up workouts where a gym comes out and just hosts a free class. I made two friends just chatting to a couple of them after the workout and asking if they'd like to exchange numbers! It felt cheesy to ask, but I'm so glad I did because they're great girls and we're now friends.
These are really good tips! I have a lot of trouble making friends and even with connecting with people because I’m quiet. I don’t know how people make friends so easily! I like that you gave specific ways and places to go to meet people. Most people tell me to “just get out there” and I’m like “where?!” People always say to go to bars and clubs, but that isn’t my type of place. The library sounds like a good idea and I might even give that bumble thing a try.
I think the best activities for friends dates are things that allow time to talk while still being active (if you are active people) or something unique. I love hiking and certain friends do as well so when we have the chance to get together it is almost always for a hike or a cookout in a state park (or even better a camping weekend!). With other friends I like getting dressed up and going to a tea house for high tea.
There are also smaller subreddits too and they are a great way to make connections! Also a great place to meet friends is volunteering or activism because you have at least some of the same values!
I struggle with this!! Thank you so much for posting this video ❤️
My very very first Bumble BFF date I found one of my best friends!! We met last May and we see each other almost every week. Honestly 10/10 I was so nervous but when we couldn’t stop chatting over the app we decided it was worth it to take the risk to meet! And then we hardly stopped talking on our friend date!
The whole time I was watching this I just kept thinking that the advice is simply the principles we typically apply to dating to platonic relationships. This is so important, particularly in our society that forces romantic relationships onto us as the one and only ideal. We can get that same romance elsewhere! Alok Vaid-Menon has talked about the beauty of finding romance in friendships and I really hear that echoed here.
Its crazy to think that so many amazing women are struggling to find friendships. Im in the same boat with them yet we all want the same thing. I feel lost at the thought of where to look, Ive been thinking Im turning 30 in a few months and I havent got a group or a few people to celebrate with, its kinda sad but true. Love your videos Ingrid! Happy vibes always xx
This was such a useful video. I need this, and I think a lot of people can relate to this. Making friendships as an adult is so different than being in school. I'm glad you talk candidly about how challenging making friends can be :)
Very helpful! I will try these ideas out. Im in a new city (yet again) and the older I get, the harder it has been to make friends. I was especially touched by the part of the video towards the end about vulnerable moments taking the friendship to a new level. I believe that might be part of what had held me back from building strong friendships, so will take note and learn to embrace that instead.
Love the advice. I’m a foreign living in Boston, in my 30’s and making new friends is not easy. Thank you!
I thumbs-up'd this video even before watching because it's such an important topic, kudos for filming this video! And I really value your advice
I’m loving these videos, this was especially well timed!
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you so much for this video…. Recently left a super codependent relationship and I’m just ready to move on. This was very inspiring. Thank you for giving me hope!!
Major question in my life right now...... thank u for this video 😍love u.....
Something I did yesterday that I'm really proud of myself for was asking a stranger that I had a really awesome random connection with if they had an Instagram that I could follow. We were just talking on the bus and really got on well, and I thought about all of the classes that I took where I met awesome people, but was too shy or embarrassed to reach out outside of that class. So, I decided I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass this time just so I could think about that lost connection forever. It's so much more challenging making friends as an adult than it is when you're in school. Tip: I really think asking for a social media handle as opposed to phone number is a good tip for people who are nervous about it, because most people are so much less paranoid about giving them out as opposed to their phone numbers. And following someone online is an easier segue into a conversation than just sending a cold text after a random encounter.
Thanks for making this video :) just rewatched it! I’m moving to LA myself at the end of the month and arming myself with all the tools to make some new friends!
I can't even tell you how much I needed this. I'm getting the book tonight!
I’ve been living in LA for about 3 years now and I’ve had a couple of friend dates but they’re not consistent as much as I’d like them to be. I also always see my coworkers hanging out without inviting me and it kind of puts me down to be honest. I don’t want to say anything or invite myself because honestly that’s not really cool. Sometimes I just feel like the odd one out. Even back home where I came from I never really had a best friend... hopefully one day I can have a close friend. Just one at least. I have a boyfriend and sometimes I tell myself that should be enough but I do have the urge of being a social butterfly and hanging out with friends but I just don’t get invited anywhere. Should I maybe gather up coworkers myself for a hangout ? I guess I just get scared .
by the way, thanks for releasing this video. I felt like this topic has been on my mind a lot.
Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! Making friends as an adult women is very challenging--I discuss this with my close friends all the time. I've found a lot of comfort in knowing that when you go into a situation knowing that the other person is probably as nervous as you are about making friends it's really not so scary! Bought the book you recommended and can not wait to read
Meetup women’s groups are great! Most of the time it is just a larger group of great women who are being social, but I have occasionally made friends that went outside the group activities. Good luck 🍀 everyone!
This was a video I soooo needed!! I am a new mom and need mom friends bad! As I watched this video I downloaded a "meet mom's near me" app and have made 2 new friends that I'm making plans with as I type this! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
This inspired me to reach out to some people that I'm forming a friendship with :-) Thanks Ingrid!!
I appreciate your recommendations, I moved to a new city in the last year and struggled with finding friends and I feel like I still am. I thankfully can go back to the old city once a month usually but I realize it’s important to invest in local friendships. I find work friends are easiest to see during work but it’s hard to schedule friend dates. So instead we do favors for each other like picking up some decorations for their home project or bringing food to share to work. You can always squeeze in a friend date on lunch if your free time schedules don’t align often. :)
I love this video so much. I'm barely an adult lol (just graduated from college this year) and I have a lot of really close friends who I still see and talk to regularly from all stages of my life, but I'm always excited about meeting new people.
Recently I've been on tinder just bc I was bored one day (a surprising number of people really do just want friends on there lol) and though I don't really open the app a lot I met this guy who seems really chill and very different from me and my other friends and we've hung out and plan to watch the Dora movie together next week since none of my other friends will watch it with me lol. It's just nice to be able to get to know someone and to let yourself be known to someone new with no pressures, no expectations, but the potential to really enjoy someone else's company and form a new bond with someone who you probably wouldn't think to be friends with if you weren't seeking out friendship.
Not entirely sure what the point of my comment is, but forming new relationships with people (who you have no obligation to) can be really fun and rewarding.
I think this is a great life advice, thanks Ingrid.
Such a meaningful video Ingrid! It makes me want to follow up with my friends too!
Not sure if this is a 30's thing but I've been and now I am at the same place as you (sorta). Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thank you much for this well-timed video! In the next month I’ll be doing a cross-country move with my partner (she’s already at the new location). As a shy and introverted person, I have become sooo anxious that I won’t meet anyone and will feel isolated. Definitely ordering that book! And will also look at meetup groups in the area to start putting myself out there. This is one of my favorite videos from you, thank you!! 🙏🏼
i literally was thinking about how lonely i am as i saw this video on my timeline... all of my friends left for college this year and i stayed behind. i’m super lonely and very sad; my best friends are all so far away. thank you for making this video❤️
... What about writting them Letters and talk with them in this "Paper Way?"... And maybe when you go to Post Office because of this Letters to send to them, you will meet new Friend or Friends.... Because... Luck happend 💚🍀... Good Luck to you... 🍀
I've found awesome adult friends through running groups, such as Florida Striders and the Jacksonville Track Club (JTC). Particularly JTC because they provide members with a Half Marathon Training class in the fall and a Gate Training Class in the winter. The same group of runners, plus some new who discover the classes, sign up for both classes and it's a great way to find other runners who run your pace as well as develop lasting relationships with other adults. Most runners love to talk and socialize, big extroverts, and it's great to meet up with other adults who enjoy running as much as I do in my spare time. I'm usually the youngest, even among other runners in my group who are in their 30s, so it's great to soak up their advice and encouragement because they've been running longer than I have. It's also great to have a group of runners to hold you accountable to your running schedule, especially when you have a race that you're training for on the horizon.
I relate so much Ingrid! I recent went to another city for work and I had to stay there for six months.I struggled a bit but after I started taking initiative and stopped being insecure everything went well!
Thank you so much for this video! I've been thinking about making friends as an adult for the last few years and this is exactly what I've come up with too! I think going in with genuine curiosity about the other person is key and not trying to make them have any certain opinion of you.
My very favorite friend dates have been at places where you can get to know each other better but have an activity. I like going on hikes or to the farmers market because you have something to do with your nervous energy.
I love this video, just moved to NY as well and this was a great confidence boost!
Love this!! I'm at this exact stage in life. Trying so hard to connect with people, sometimes succeeding ❤️
Thank you for this! I feel like it's hard to make friends now because I have trust issues but I'm working on that and trying to find people who are inspiring and motivated to go out and get out of their comfort zone. I wanna get out and explore different places with people who actually wanna do those things as well, rather than stay in your own town and feel like you have no one.
I accept you. You're so inspiring. We should be friends & go watch a live band at a coffee shop on day, *AS FRIENDS* ^-^ That'd be a lot of fun! ^-^ 🙌
And thank you so much for the book recommendation. I needed a new read so thank you! ❤