I'M 54 AND I HAVE NO FRIENDS!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- Today I am sharing the fact that I don't have any friends, why I think it is an epidemic in today's society, and what I do to keep busy.
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There's a big difference from being lonely and being alone. The older I get, the more I realize I don't mind being by myself!! ❤
Totally agree! I am not lonely and prefer to be alone!
So true
Being alone in most liberating as long as one is not lonely
I can start a conversation with strangers especially if it looks like they are lonely. I’ve discovered that people do like to speak to someone even if it’s a stranger.
Their reactions have been rather surprising.. they seem pleased that someone thought they were important enough to talk to and carry on a conversation… be it 5 minutes or maybe longer.
After enjoying the interaction, I go home feeling good.
Alone, widowed at 71, own my home with hobbies to work on.
People can be by themselves without feeling lonely.. friends come and go.. some stay longer or surface 10 or 20 years later.
But I’m ok with that.
I’m my own friend reminding myself to do what makes me feel good or content 👍
Yep 60 and happy!!!🎉
@@BeccaB963Omg! I can relate to everything you said! I hate spring & summer everyone is out and wants to ‘make plans’ that’s why I to love fall & winter, everyone stays inside and no pressure to meet or talk to people. I’ve always loved being alone, as a child in grammar school my teachers always wrote in my report card that although they didn’t understand the reason why ‘this student’ prefers to play alone she appears to be happy all alone by herself, yup that’s me and those grey, drizzly days of winter are heaven! Thank you for making my day! Most ppl don’t get it!
Being alone beats putting up with nonsense and needless drama.
When you have common sense,
Seek other sense,
Lest ye have nonsense ❤
I'm 43. Since separating from my ex 3 years ago I have no friends. No kids either. I agree that social media feels as though it has destroyed society. I joined a gym to see if I could meet people but they just have headphones in, or are looking at their phones. Literally nobody even acknowledges anyone else. I won't lie, I'm finding life really tough, and incredibly lonely.
try Not to dwell on it ---- go for walks ---- get out in Nature --- observe the creatures --- they are all wise and stoic ---- don't look for any outcome just be friendly and open minded ---
You are not alone in this world, you are greatly loved by God. He has a special plan for your life, you are here for a reason❤
@@dcm682005 Did you check out the above comments about meeting people in a church setting if you're single. You are stigmatized and treated like an outsider. I live in a rural area and people are very set in their ways.
Get a dog, the best friend you can have. Take it out for walks in nature, your life will be much better and less lonely. Dogs make you happy.
Go to church. Go to different churches until you feel loved and accepted. Even if you were an atheist going to a social club is a good option. A church is a Social club with a common theme of belief that almost always attracts those desiring to be moral and form a community based on that common ground. I'm a Christian and I don't actually enjoy the corporate church because I have no need for it as I have been blessed with a close group of friends who are like minded.
I’m 59 and have lived in the same house 20 plus years. I also have no friends and nobody to call in an emergency. Although I don’t mind doing things by myself, it gives me anxiety to contemplate what would happen in a health crisis, car trouble, etc. I also never married or had kids. After spending hundreds of hours on dating apps, I gave up on trying to meet a partner. Thanks for making this video because I really felt there was something wrong with me
Same here. Good luck to you.
I completely understand. I have a very small family and my fear is that one day I will be alone and who will take care of me if something happens? Perhaps we should start a community where we can all take care of each other!
Don't give up on finding someone, Valerie. Just give up on finding the perfect someone. Just try to meet a nice, kind, caring person who may have similar interests. The older you get the more you'll want someone to share life with.
@@lisapavlica5634stop looking for people to take care of you n see what you can do to help others n do things you enjoy that will put you in contact with reasonably like minded people n you will at least enjoy the here n now more.
That means you will die alone and nobody will know about it, and no descendants to pass on your legacy. If you are not at least rich then your ultimate fate will suck
I am a female, 60 years old and I have no friends. I had a fabulous life back in the day before social media. Now it is just totally different. I was lonely for awhile but now I have become comfortable and accepted being alone. I am a homebody and always a lone wolf, but i do miss having one true friend! Thank God for my dog!
Sixty-one y.o. female here and relate to every word of your comment. Social media is an escapist's paradise, a toxic wasteland of vapid egotism, imaginary friends, and a repository for attention seekers and those who need constant stimulation to distract themselves from their own lives. No, thank you. I'll take a book, a movie on video, the radio and my cat anytime. Have always been something of a lone wolf and was stigmatized and looked at askance for it. But at this stage of life I don't really care what others think and I am comfortable in my own company. Be well.
I'm 67 and enjoy my own company and my little dog. I can relate. So glad for TH-cam; I can watch American Bandstand.💃
Find Jesus, go to church, your whole world will open up
The Bible speaks of fellowship in with other. Go to a good church
@@bobbieleland7687 church is not the best option...I have 2 churches near me and they are filled with a click of close minded people that want to drain me of my energy or they want want want and give little to nothing. sutton alaska
Jim Carrey said something that’s always stuck with me for some reason and to be honest after traveling to 173 countries and having met every conceivable type of shit house people and going through 2 divorces as well I can truly say that at my time of life now (I’m 59) I can totally relate and I’m 100% fine with it. Just me, my dog, my cat and everybody else can go figure I couldn’t care less if I never spoke to anybody. Socializing is very much overrated to me because people are mostly shitty at heart and there’s definitely a shortage of love and kindness in the world. Jim Carrey said this: "Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.
Yes, even people you think you are close with can let you down 😢
I think there are few people that you can call friends. Most people you deal with are just acquaintances. My best friend is my beautiful border collie. My husband is my everything.
I agree 100% and I've been alone since 2010.
Jim Carrey is right! Some friends I just adored and thought the world of them but they obviously didn’t feel the same and dropped me over the years.. I learned in jr high to protect my heart cause people will shit on you..
Couldn't have put it better.
I always felt guilty the way I treated friends by not wanting to socialize as much as they did. But in my 60's I realized I just like being alone. I go where and when I please. Love seeing movies alone and doing errands etc. I decided to own this part of me and I am fine.
I'm the same way my Dad does not understand why I don't have girlfriend because all they want me to do is buy things for them.
Yes! I often felt guilty for pushing people away, but I truly enjoy my solitude and I don't find myself feeling alone very often.
I am ok without friends, I haven’t met anyone I feel that connection with that’s worth cultivating friendships with, but I really miss not being able to have cats where I live. I am around people and not isolated. I feel drained if I am around people too much. I have moved a lot over the past decades and been a working parent up until recently. Before that I did have some friends. I like my freedom to take time for myself now.
Me too, it seems to take way to energy to be social with some folks. I pick up on weird vibes etc, Have no trouble not showing up for parties. In fact, they quit asking since I quit drinking. go figure.
I'm 52, pretty much the same. Neighbors think I'm weird but don't care much about them.
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
- Robin Williams
So true!
Hi Wendy, I'm 55, married and a nurse. If I didn't have my husband I'd have no friends. Oh sure, I have a lot of coworkers and acquaintances but not true friends. Social media has destroyed our society. Both my sons are loners too but perfectly okay being alone. We just need to learn to appreciate life whether we are alone or not.
I agree. You CAN NOT CONNECT by texting.
Social media is total bullcrap and at some point something is going to happen that is going to f*ck up our society entirely.
No one ever made anyone go on social media.You need to go much deeper to find the root cause.
Same here expect my husband is bed ridden since April, and about 9 months on wheelchair prior to that. So as soon as one is responsible for own butt and own food, - it's OK! When you have cook, clean, take care about someone else's butt and feed another person with a tea spoon about 1 hour every meal - it's a different story
I'm 54. I have maybe 3 friends from my old job. My friends from youth for the most part let Facebook substitute for real communication; and I din't feel like that was real. We slowly drifted apart. I 100% agree that "social" media has destroyed our society. My younger son is 22 and has no real friends, just online.I do enjoy being alone though. I'm more lonely when I'm with my husband who is very absent.
Thank you for making this. I'm 56 in the UK. I have no friends at all. I have anxiety too which doesn't help. I feel incredibly isolated as the neighbours are not friendly here. I feel quite depressed especially as I'm getting older xo
Hugs to you dear from across the pond!
I am 56 too and I also have anxiety. I am married and I do have a son but the lot of us each are autistic. We are like quantum entangled particles, we each do our own thing even if we are aware of one another. Frankly I am embracing my eccentricities, those who do not like me, that is their problem. Menopause has been wonderful in giving me room to reinvent myself. Which is why I respond to you. We don't have THAT many years left. I no longer have the time to worry about boring or mean folk. My neighbors are not friendly either but damn it, they are going to get a cheery smile and friendly hello from me, even if it kills them! Crack on love!
I must admit that you are quite attractive and I am surprised that neighbors don't treat you more kindly. All the best to you!
Sending you a big 56 yr old hug and love from CA USA. Btw I quit caffiene and anxiety much improved if not gone! ❤
That’s a real shame
As a thoughtful introvert, I prefer spending most of my time with my dogs, chickens, ponds and gardens. For anyone who is lonely I would definitely recommend a trip to the shelter to rescue a loving little soul who will be your best friend for life. Blessings to all, and remember to bloom where you are planted and be grateful for the good things. That is all. ♥️ 🐶 🐱 🐓
BEAUTIFUL COMMENT! I wake up every single morning, not alone, but with my "rescue pup (Australian Cattledog)." She was abused in Fresno agricultural land but is now my princess and best friend in Northern CA. Your comment really struck me. Introvert here with love for fur and feather people and nature. Yes, be grateful for all :) Best wishes ❤❤❤❤❤
I rescued a one and a half year old Morkie 2 months ago. During our walks people will stop to admire him and talk about him. He has made me a bit more social and I am finally getting to know some of my neighbors as a result.
@@Eversew139 This is precious!!! Congratulations on your Morkie. People who respond to dogs are often nice people. Warm wishes to you!
Love my chickens lol
Vet Bills stops many from adopting.
Me too! I'm 62 and have no friends, wife, or children. I wonder how many of us there are? We should start a club.
Count me in!!!
Right there with ya.
I'm 59. I've become a homebody. After realizing that I spend way too much time wondering if I've offended or upset someone whenever I talk (a society where everyone's offended over everything), I've realized that I prefer to be alone with my cats too. Also, after years of taking my family on vacations where all they do is complain, I'd rather save on airfare and just vacation solo.
You have just described my life 🙂
I went to Paris for a month to "escape". It was definitely amazing, but still SO LONELY!
Maybe we need to create a travel group of like-minded women who will all agree to remain non-judgemental and open minded while traveling. Kind of like traveling solo, but together. Before I went to Paris I took a solo trip to Portugal as part of a tour group. So I got to have autonomy, but also be surrounded by 20 of the most wonderful people. All of us took turns sitting, walking and interacting with each other. No cliques formed. It was amazing. It's been a year and I am still in contact with that group! I think peopke can create special times if they go in with no expectations and accept others for where they are in life at that particular moment.
I am right there with you.
It’s funny hearing older people talk like this - how hard is it to not offend people? Just be a decent person. Treat people like you want to be. Seriously every time someone says how they just can’t speak without offending people and put the blame on society, it’s a huge red flag.
@@veronicamaine3813 Ummmm nooooo. We are living among a bunch of snowflakes and entitled brats!
"Maturing is realizing you don't want to be around drama, stress, or conflict anymore. You start choosing calm over chaos and distance over disrespect. You start prioritizing your peace, mental health, and happiness over everything", including friends for the sake of having friends.
P.S. Saw this comment online and thought I'd share it, it so captures the way I, and many feel.
I could not agree more!
Amen 🙏🏻 !!
Well said! I no longer tolerate chaos and drama. I’m never short of other friends who know how to be decent humans. But my dogs are my bestest friends and I love them very very much. No drama, only love.
I totally agree!!
I agree 💯
I love the tranquility of solitude. No drama, no complications, no toxicity….it’s a peaceful existence. Win. Blessings to all of you lovely folks out there who are in the same boat. ✌️💖🤩
Thanks
It takes time to realize that alone time is the best time. Most never do and end up just another program in the hive mind collective.
I'm 62 and many ppl have exited my life.
I've always been an introvert and actually don't mind the solitude.
I use to think something was wrong with me not needing tons of friends and constant outtings. Now I think of it as a blessing and MY normal.
Don't miss the drama, being used, ignored in social settings, the gossiping, and insanity in social gatherings.
Its definitely better to be alone and single than to live with the wrong person.
I'm younger than you and I've realized a long time ago that I'm better off alone. Yes you can still be sane and alone. I also have no family . It's hard to do, but I feel it's worth it. People can be very toxic , fake and mean.
Same here.
So true! Good points!
Exactly 💯💯💯
God bless you dear
I remember a quote from Robin Williams: "I used to think the worse thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." I'm 49, and have a couple of close friends I managed to stay in contact with, but I know what he meant. Having things you like to do helps, the rest will fall into place.
Love that quote. RIP 🙏 Mr. Robin.
Amen thats so true mosfet510
That's a very true quote from Robin Williams.
In this age of Toxic social media the art of communication is lost. People with their Gadgets of distractions like smart 🤳 phones will tune you out.
I miss Robin💕 Loved him since Mork and Mindy:) It is so very true!
It is much more soul crushing to find out the person you have ALWAYS been there for is NOT there for you!...the hard way..when you really need them..like the death of your mom...would have been much better to have not had them around at all.
I’m a 40 year old guy and while my life may change in the future, I’m pretty much in the same situation. I miss the 80s and 90s so much that some days it really bums me out. The sense of community we all shared before the internet is completely destroyed. Anyway, great video.
Me also. I'm a 45 divorced female of one. I miss the 90s. Meeting people on holidays, bars and talking on the landline for hours. I feel that I have no one expect my child.
I miss my uni days in the 90s. We'd have parties at each other's house and help each other with assignments and celebrate each other's achievements.
I was 7 when the 80s started. I completely agree that the internet ruined human interaction (plus the music and movies were better then). The 90s were great, too.
I know exactly how you feel about the 80s and 90s . Things made since every thing was simple the emotions to stuff were real and pure. Seeing cartoons like thundercats, X-men, GI Joe,Justice League music from Friday night videos all the cool shit that went along with it. makes my heart ache to go back deep hurts. The Toys from that time were the bomb .. not like the fen crap now. How big the food was. Mc Donald's cheese burger was the size of a BK Whopper now its nothing more than silver dollar pancake. The hours spent in TOYS R US and KB toy stores wow OHHH the ARCADES ..soo much fun
If your life stays the same as it is that means you will die alone and nobody will know about it, and no descendants to pass on your legacy. If you are not at least rich then your ultimate fate will suck
Im 51, never married, no kids, only keep in touch with my nieces and nephews and even then only rarely? I feel relationships are overrated and potentially very painful and stressful. So for the most part I am okay with my life choices. But it seems like I'm the only one who lives like this, and feeling cut off from society and so different from others is a lonely feeling, so your video is refreshing. Thank you!
I live like this as well ❤
You are not alone , as you can read in the comments they are a lot of us
I'm in the same boat...❤
You are not alone. I have found you need to create boundaries or people can take advantage. That is not easy but it is one way to have people in your life without being used. I find micro- connections with people as you go about errands can be fun & you may bring a smile to another alone person.
I live like this also. I felt the exact same way.
I'm 81 and have outlived all my close friends. I feel fortunate that I at least had them thru the tough times I faced. I've always been an introvert in an extroverts body so being alone don't bother me. Treasure your good friends while you have them. We have very few.
90% here indicate they have NO friends.
That's a very good point.I am 57 and childfree by choice. And I do have to think what my life would be like when I am older when friends and relatives die. I run my own wellbeing group so I have started to have some craft friends and I also do a lot of voluntary work and meet people of all ages. I live in a rural area which family centric neighbours so I have always been out on a limb here. I think it will be harder if I get housebound though but I will use charity buses to town and meet up with people that way I hope. I do enjoy reading books but my eye sight could go. I will make use of any charities that would help me.
the word 'friend' can mean different things to different people.
But, it has been said that if a person has one
truly good friend they are lucky. I have lost pretty much all my friends
over the years. Some at a rather young age.
As I get older I find I actually
enjoy being alone more. I do have a son and a wife so I am
not totally alone, but as I get older, I am perfectly happy
puttering around in the yard, going to the gym and then
just watching movies on the tele.
The thing I have learned over the years is that what a lot
of people call 'friends' are little more then acquaintances like
the people I meet at the gym and talk to on a regular basis. That
is the only time I interact with them.. But the real true friends I had
in the past would come to my house and when I had to
move actually helped me with that. I always chuckle at people
who count among their friends the people they chat with via
avenues like Facebook, Twitter or tiktok. Uh, I wonder how many of
those social media 'friends' would be there to help them move
or to give them a ride to hospital?
I’m 55 and with the exception of riding motorbike, you and I pretty much live the same single middle age women lives and have the same thoughts regarding solitude and having no friends Thank you for being so honest about the difficulties of making and keeping friends. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone in this and something is wrong. There are millions of us out here going through the exact same thing.
In 2022 I traveled 17 countries completely alone and made acquaintances along the way but otherwise, I’m a true solo traveler and I don’t have any issues with that. Your clip just confirmed for me that I’m ok. Thank you for that Wendy. ❤
I'm also 54, never married and currently have no friends. But it really is by design. Looking back on my life, I have realized that people are pretty awful. Or there is something about me that only resonates with awful people. In hindsight, I think I only had one true friend (who ultimately stabbed me in the back...) and then a bunch of other people who ultimately used me in some way. My friendships have been generally transactional/performative and never had depth; I always seemed to give give give of myself into a bottomless pit without any reciprocation. They were there one moment and then they were gone and I felt indifferent. Suffice it to say, today, I feel free since I really understand myself and human nature. I am alone but it hasn't stopped me from traveling around the world, going to concerts, owning multiple homes and enjoying everything that life offers. I am not going to live somebody else's life just because it is "the thing to do." I chart my own path and I feel sorry for anyone who has to carry the baggage of others around.
Yep, at least 95% of the population doesn't even care about their own offspring. The breeders create their offsprings deterioration and death due to breeders narcissism. I could never do such a horrible thing.
Same here, I'm headed to the Caribbean by myself, and Europe next year.
@@MG-ot2yr Awesome! The Caribbean, other than Cuba, is awful; no culture and everyone is looking to shake you down. Europe is terrific, especially for the solo traveler. I've traveled there with others and by myself and I much prefer traveling alone; it is a much more immersive experience and it's so freeing to move at your own pace. Hope you have fun!
@@hejiranyc I agree! Caribbean doesn't have much culture, with the exception of a few places, as you mention Cuba but I'd also say Trinidad & Tobago. But I don't go for culture, nor anywhere near resorts with people trying to sell you crap every two minutes. I rent a villa with private pool, seafront and just enjoy the view, swimming, and painting. Yes, Europe is good solo, I've also been throughout Africa, Middle East and Asia but most of that was not solo, I did have a travel companion but has since been down with health issues. Happy travels to you too!
That's why people have pets. They'll never stab you in the back.
I thought I had lots of friends until my husband died and they started falling away and I realised they were not friends at all. When I reached 70 so my siblings began shunning me, afraid, I guess, of being lumbered with me when I became a burden. My sister in law actually said to my face that she did not consider me part of her family. One of the cruellest things that has ever been said to me. I learned to be self resilient, not to rely on anyone but myself and this way I can’t be hurt anymore.
One of my 2 best friends screwed me over in 2018 and completely betrayed me, the other one completely abandoned our friendship during the nonsense of 2020 without so much as a clue why...
I have children who never visit, grandkids that they never bring to see me... It sucks being lonely, thank you for sharing your story, I thought I was alone but clearly that's not the case, and looking at the comments section, it's a lot more prevalent than I could have imagined. God bless all those of us who are having to navigate this life alone, I send love and prayers to you all. x
Thank you for your comments and sharing your story. Being betrayed by 'friends' is hard, I have been there, done that. It cuts to the bone. No, you are not alone at all. I know I am not the only one, never thought that and had a feeling that it was far more widespread which is why I decided to put myself out there and do a video about it. I wish for everyone here to know they are not alone in this, and we can support each other here if nowhere else. Hugs and love you too!
I helped my 22 yr old granddaughter with money because she had nowhere to live. Paid the bond and rent on a place and paid for new flooring throughout. Because it was an emergency I used my funeral fund. Now that I have no money left she is no longer visiting and I haven't heard from her for nearly 2 years. I don't know who will bury me, as I can no longer pay for my funeral. The only thing I'm comforted by is the peace and quiet I now find myself in. I think we need to become more self centered as we age then people don't take advantage as much
You can only ever rely on yourself, as bad as that sounds. Friends, family, coworkers and acquaintances are fleeting and can't be relied on.
@@VMM34 Take a look at a small book called "stiff" pretty wild. I find it ludicrous to pay for death too! perhaps ask a church or cemetery for assisting you on your departing, couldn't hurt to give it a try. They need not know why. Self centered is your shadow self, be wise from your lesson.
@@VMM34 That was kind of you to help her and she is still very young. I hope you can reconnect.
Amazing how so many of us "share" similar stories! Thanks for starting this thread and thank each of you for participating...❤
Absolutely!!
I love living alone with my animals like a lot of the commenters. The only thing I worry about is, if something happens to me at home and there’s nobody to know I think everyone who lives alone should have somebody who will check on them to see if they’re OK if they’re not heard from for a day. That’s especially important so that your pets can be taken care of in case something happens to you.
I am 48 and I have no friends and it is truly wonderful. No gossip, no haters, no parasitic relatives always asking for money. My life is great.
Same her . I do miss the company of an attractive female though
Same ☀️
I love this comment!! ❤ this is how I feel exactly.… My own family is very toxic. I’m happier actually without my family constantly asking me for money or hating on me because I have things they don’t etc. etc..
UNBELIEVABLE.....over two thousand comments on not having friends! Thanks for this video because I used to think it was just me!!! It's like one day I woke up and I realized I didn't have any real friends anymore. Makes me wonder if we were "real friends" in the first place. I agree with you 💯 especially about social media. God Bless
Thank you and hugs!!
It's not just you.
It took me a long time to realize that some friends in high school probably weren't ever really friends! When I came to realize they spent time with me out of sympathy it hurt my heart. But I see that they dont do much independently while I choose to go about my life without relying on others. Not that I dont value community. They always had a best friend. I never was a best friend to any of them.
But we are using social media right now, so it's not all bad. It's how you use it that is important. I've suggested creating a meetup group for the purposes you want.
@@Ashley-mt8uf Wow, powerful statement! I haven't seen a high school "friend" in years. I participate in and embrace community at my on pace now. At 61, I've learned to be comfortable with me, myself and I. Peace😊
You’re not alone. I’m 59, and I have no close friends either. I prefer it that way. I smile and say Hi to everyone, and joke cut up with people at work and every where that I go…. I just don’t feel the need to get that close to people. I’m glad I stumbled on your video, you seem like an awesome person!
Same here
55 here and married more than once raised four beautiful children and have had many life changing social interactions throughout. Today and for the past 5 years I enjoy living and being alone and hold this time for myself in a very cherished way. I love my life and glad to see there's many others enjoying theirs too!!
I’m the same. I’m kind and nice to people and will chat about things at stores with strangers. I make people comfortable around me but I’m not willing to invest all the energy new friendships take. It’s like new relationships. I don’t wanna give that much. So I guess I’ll be friendly to all and not truly friends. Sounds sad and maybe it is, but most days I’m okay with it. I’ve got my hubby and sisters and grown kids and grandbabies and that’s all I really have room for in my mid fifties.
WOW! You are totally describing my life. I'm 56, not married, no kids and no friends. I just had to move back home from San Francisco to care for my sick 82 y/o mom, and now I'm living in a suburb 20 min. from SF, but it might as well be a thousand miles away. There is Nothing to do here. I also had to go on disability, so I'm really isolated.
I used to be a really fun person to be around, I had a great job with good friends. I also grew up in a time where you were required to actually talk to people in person. For example, getting dates was so much easier. I met boyfriends at school, or through friends, randomly at a party or even at work. Now I'm supposed to jump online and expose myself to people I've never met; shopping my picture all over the place and hoping for a click...no thanks. I don't know why women put up with that. Anyway, I don't really see anything changing, at least not until my mom and I get better.
I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. There are women living the same experience you are. And just look at all the comments your getting! See...people do care and can relate to you. That's gotta be a major lift. Anyway, I'll hang in there and you do too.
I'm a 44 woman, single and no kids. I have no friends anymore. Not a single one. I do miss having friends but I don't miss my old friends. However, I do struggle with not having friends and even admitting this fact brings me a lot of shame. If I were to meet someone I would never talk about this because they would be "what kind of weirdo are you to not have any friends?". I feel like there's a lot of stigma around this and also a lot of pity too. I want none of it. So I "suffer" in silence. I've always been an introvert so I can be with myself but sometimes.. you know.. it would be nice. Nobody can be alone all the time. Also the future worries me. I feel like I've put myself in a bad spot. Other than my mother, who is quite old now, I have nobody. No siblings just some relatives that I am happy to keep my distance from and I do. Still I always think I am doing something wrong. I can connect with people but most have families and nobody seems interested in making new friendships. They settle for the old ones. It's hard after 40.
ps: thanks for the video though, it's so easy to trick yourself into thinking you're the only one in this situation. I feel not as much as a freak now 😀
Hugs to you and you are not a freak!!! It is today's society!
You are not weird, it is ridiculously common and different people have different definitions of friends. You are obviously genuine and honest and willing to articulate your feelings but most people dont want to do this so it often looks like others have friends but some people do anything to cover that up. I have some really genuine and trusted friends and weirdly enough most of those friendships have come from me being honest and open with them. People love to be cared for and I have found that nearly everyone that i thought had lots of friends actually don't. Its weird but I always wanted one or two really close friends but for some reason I got happy with myself and now I seem to get lots of friends,.I really appreciate your openness and genuiness you're the sort of person that people need as a friend so I hope you get to know some likeminded people really soon.
@@petern4093 I agree, I think people ultimately respect honesty from the get go. It shows strenght and even confidence. It's quite easy to do it online where nobody knows or sees you. It's really hard to open up in person though without feeling the shame that comes with it. Thanks for the kind words, you're too generous 😀
When I was your age, and younger, I used to feel awkward too about not having friends (my choice, BTW) in case people asked and thought I was weird. But as you get older (and hopefully wiser!) you no longer care. I'm now 56 and couldn't give a damn what others think about my life choices. I've never been asked why I don't have friends (nor surprising as I'm a total loner and have no interest in striking up small talk conversations with others) but if I were my answer would be this; because 99% of humans are nuts and I don't suffer fools gladly.
@@bobjames6622 yeah truth be told, I often feel like I don't like most people very much so that's probably part of the problem. But I would still like more human contact than what I'm getting. I wish I had one good friend or a couple of ok friends. I hate small talk too, it's awkward, boring and meaningless and most importantly I suck at it. Whenever, rarely, it starts to happen, all I want to do is go back home. I like to have more substantial conversations but if you skip the small talk, you'll probably miss out on those too.
Sometimes I feel like having friends is just a liability to me. They end up wanting something or betraying you. Sadly , it’s true
imo prob correct for a high percentage of people but there are diamonds out there , just read the other comments, a lot of older diamonds here in the chat 😁
I was betrayed by my childhood friend a couple of years ago. It was heartbreaking. It's been a one way street in most of my friendships, I'm a former fashion model and most of the women that wanted to befriend me wanted to become a model and I would introduce them to my agent and when my agency would not sign them, the friendship slowly dissolved. So basically they befriended me to use me for my connections. This happened two times. One of the friends later wanted to reconnect and we did and me and my daughter who was about 8 years old at the time went out to their house which was about 30 minutes away from where I lived. The first thing the "friend" did was make a catty comment that my daughter and I were dressed alike and we were, we had on a cute top from the Gap, the Gap used to make the same clothing for adults as they would children, I thought it was cute, it was not inappropriate, just a cute casual mock turtleneck in the same color. And I'm sure it didn't help much when her husband commented on how I looked like I hadn't changed a bit and look the same age as the last time he saw me. I noticed that a lot of my former friends became jealous that I had a new best friend in my darling daughter. Another friend's husband at a high school reunion said that I looked much younger than all my classmates. Women are envious of beautiful women but they don't know that it effects making friends with other women. Also, I don't dress inappropriately or have large breasts or anything that would make most women uncomfortable around their husbands, it's their husbands that say something and it makes the woman feel insecure, so I guess it's understandable they don't want to be my friend but it still hurts. My daughter is in her 30s now and we're still best friends. I'm no longer slim nor gorgeous anymore and now I find that people are jealous of literally anything you have that they don't. These days I feel women are more jealous of my talent than my beauty, it's always something. I feel bad for people, they're terribly insecure. I have my daughter and her friend, who I've also known for a long time and I have my wonderful male cousin and my father. I have 4 neighbors that live on our block that I can count on for help too. As for so called friends, women have been very hurtful to my whole life, always making rude and catty comments, to my face.
Absolutely found the same problem over the years. You can't stand against envy and it takes so long to figure that factor out.
I find I have to work so hard to get a friendship to function and the effort isn't often worth the result
Women don’t like beautiful women as they feel threatened. Even if that women has no interest whatsoever in their husbands or boyfriends.
I totally get you
I'm 49 and choose to be a loner
Find it hard to trust people
I am ok with my own company
You have to love yourself
You are the one you spend the most time with
I feel comfortable in my shell
I don't think that is pathetic
All the best to you!!!
Sadly, trusting people is difficult. Even after yrs of friendship, people turn around and do things to hurt you. Take care 💖
What about in your 70s? Being alone won’t be what you want
@@dcg590
That's absolutely right.
You want somebody to share what's left of your life in your 70's.
Somebody who cares about you will become very important.
Hi Wendy, I'm 63 years old. Things were pretty much the same for me at 54 years old. Your story is my story without the motorcycle. I have found that most people are too mean and unfriendly to be around for any length of time. I've met a few that were nice people, but they'd come and go. I've had better Saturday nights with my cat than I would with most people. I've pretty much accepted it for what it is. You're not alone. Take care. 🙂
Thanks for sharing!!
Im 55 and have no friends either. Ive been embarrassed about this for the last 5 years. Thanks for letting me know im not alone.
I'm turning 39 this year.
No way are you alone. I grew up in a large family, use to have lots of friends as an adolescent, but as I started to age, that changed. Having lots of friends after age 60 is almost non existence. It is not so bad being totally single !
I'm 58 no kids not married and feel the same...s hard to make friends 😢
I used to feel embarrassed also. Felt people thought there was something wrong with me being alone.
I’m 55 as well with absolutely no friends.
I relate to this so much! I just turned 57 and have chosen to not have other people in my life. I do have older children and grandchildren, but they live in another state. I’m very comfortable being alone, I travel all over the world as a solo female traveler, and I’m completely happy. I just found that I cannot tolerate other people’s issues and constant drama. My life is quiet and peaceful.
Me too!!!❤
I look forward to this one day.
Do you travel alone with a group? I’m afraid to travel by myself. I’m 66.
Yes peacefullness and quite are priceless
I doubt she's addressing people like you. She's struggling with being without friends
All of us on here should get together n build a loving community!!!
Seems impossible on social media, as we will get censored and shutdown in no time once the algorithm realises were against it!
YES!
Hello!😊
Yes!! Well let’s be about it!!
100%...&I've subscribed..thankyou all🥰
Hi Wendy I’m approaching 58 in a month. I like to say I have acquaintances rather than friends. The older I get the more I feel separate from others. I have come to enjoy my me time. It’s so sad society has changed so much. Neighbors ignore each other, people are too busy looking at their phones to smile as you pass them, crickets in an elevator and so on. It’s awesome you made this video to talk about it. It’s amazing how many of us are in the same boat. 😔
Thanks for sharing!!
What you really mean is Chad does not pay anymore attention to you or there are lots of other lonely men your age you could find.
i am alone i have children, one lives in another town, one lives same place where i live they have their life atleast i have good neighbors ,i am 20 years older than you lost my husband8 years back ,i belive who live alone are strong people
I’m in my 50’s, male, never married, no children, no friends. Loneliness hits me waves. Most of the time, Okay with it. Other times, struggle with it! Coworkers are fake friends, so they do not count.
Coworkers are dangerous "friends" which should be avoided after hrs.
If I had it do over again I would have been the mystery and not the one that wears the badge of corporate enlightenment.
The important thing is to be content with what you have. Having too many friends will not make you happy nor does having too much money. It is what you do with your time and being occupied which matters. Are you involved in a club or a church community? I hope you always have something to do to take your mind off of being lonely. It is very difficult to be male and not be married, let alone not have any friends. It's not the worse situation in the world, but it is up there.
I'm 54, not married, no kids, have an associate whom I've known since 1988 that in most ways I can't really trust & I have no friends either. And while being lonely at times I've come to the conclusion that I am better off single and alone. I can do what I want, when I want & the only thing I have to answer to is my bank account & credit card. No stress, no worries, and I'm better off.
Co workers are just that. Coworker s. Not friend ds
@@thefirstgenesis4280 --Travel to the the Far East and think about that again.
I am 74 , I love being on my own. I love to learn, I love traveling on my own. I love the freedom. I love not answering to anyone. I love that my money, time and views are mine alone.
I'm 64 and I have to say that this video from you was extremely REFRESHING to hear. You and I sound very much alike. I am so used to being by myself at home that most times I don't even WANT to venture out and get around other people. The COVID epidemic was absolutely no problem for me because staying at home was routine rather than a big "restriction" as most people thought of it. Never liked social gatherings other than with maybe two or three more people at the most. I have an aversion to large crowds. I don't like the idea of "depending" on other people to make me feel fulfilled, and being social requires being around other people. I love myself enough to be totally comfortable being by myself. I feel I do need to get out more and explore more places and do things by myself though, but at the same time, when I'm by myself, I have control over how, what, when, and where I choose to go. I do have my cavalier king charles spaniel to go places with. He is the PERFECT companion, both at home and when traveling by car. He is as close to a human being as you can get without actually being one. I think in sumnary, I am happy and content with being alone - just me and my fur baby. When or if I feel like I HAVE to change and get out there and FIND friends, I guess I'll do it, but for now I'm more than fine with it. Shall we say, I'm at peace with myself. THANKS AGAIN for your video!!! Glad I found you!!! 💖🤗💐
I'm 67 and pretty much the same except for my fur boy Sunshine, a 17yo marmalade tabby. 😸
It took me two marriages, both ended in divorce (my decision/choice) and two roommates to realize I prefer to live alone with a fur companion. I didn't have children by choice. COVID didn't change my life one bit, other than wearing a mask 😷😸 it just gave me another reason not to go out and deal with people. I've been a loner all my life, as an only child, I had no problem entertaining myself. Maybe it's just me, but dealing with people in today's society is exhausting. I prefer a no drama life.
Everything you said is me. I just lost my Sam a Cross Jack Russel we were together for 15 years I lost him last year and I'm still devastated and in mourning, he was my best friend my support, my constant companion I didn't need friends I had my Sam. I still like being on my own at 55 I'm still ok with that. I go for walks and pop into coffee shops while out catch the bus to visit my son sometimes, I don't see him often so it's a nice day out. I don't like people of today people today are not like those of the 80s or 90s we had values morals and respect for each other and a big sense of community no high crime rate we had at the most just burglaries. It's too frightening outside in today's world now who wouldn't want to stay in their nice safe home reading or watching tv doing some gardening sitting with a cup of tea or coffee and just feeling safe? Thank you for what you write it was nice to read.
@@sharenfromlondonuk7519 I'm sorry for your loss of Sam. Take care.
@@williamj1813 Thank you x
@@sharenfromlondonuk7519 I JUST came back into this comment section and saw that you lost your baby last year. The day you lose your baby is the worst day of your life by far, and the pain just doesn't leave you. The more you loved, the more and deeper it hurts. I can't even contemplate losing Preston. I know that I will want to isolate myself even further from people when that happens. I process my emotions very intensely, so I am not looking forward to that worst day of my life. Knowing I am this way, I am certain that I won't be like most people and just run out and get another fur baby. It's going to take time - and alot of it. I can't express how sorry I am for having lost your baby, and yes, I am going to go ahead and say it - your child. Take your time and grieve that big loss. If and when the times comes when you are ready to share your love and care with another baby, you will know it. God's comfort to you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I’m just like you. It’s weird. This is not how I imagined the last chapter of my life would be. I miss the conversation and hanging out. It’s strange. I have a small procedure that requires a trip to a hospital. The doctors office told me I would need someone to stay at my home that night. I told them I have no friends to ask. I asked the secretary if I could spend the night at the hospital. She said no. I said I will spend the night alone and hope for the best. She said “fine,” and hung up.
That’s life circa 2023
I love your channel .
Xxxxx
I had the almost same scenario . A procedure that required someone to pick me up and stay with me. Because of all the reasons you mentioned , I hired my " handyman " to come pick me up and paid him 50 $ and asked him " just pretend you care and tell them when they discharged me that you will stay the night " . Bless his heart , he played the part well . For me the hardest part is when you have to fill out forms with the emergency contact or next of kin. It is usually a gigantic question mark ❓️ 🤔 because nobody in my life truly deserves to be THAT special person. 😢
😢
You should have called back and ask to speak with the doctor and inform him what that secretary said and if he wasn’t going to do anything make a complaint against him and his secretary( after the procedure of course)
Very cold response from the nurse. Sadly this behavior is the norm nowadays. Sorry that you experienced that..
Your doctor's receptionist or nurse or whatever she was sounds AWFUL! How unprofessional.. she should be fired! I would tell my doctor exactly what she said and did b/c he/she might not know that's going on behind their back at their office. If that was my clinic, and I was a doctor, I would want to know how my patients were being treated. She'd be FIRED for speaking to one of my patients like that. And I'm pretty sure by law.. they're not allowed to send you home without anyone there, just in case something happens, b/c they're liable, which is another good reason to give your doctor the heads up. I'm sure he/she doesn't want to be sued.
I am 57 and my whole adult life I've had between 0-2 friends at any one time. The reason for this is that I don't like people, I hate drama, and I strongly prefer to stay at home rather than going out and doing things. I currently have 1 friend.
I generally don't like most people either. Co-workers are not real friends and most aren't trustworthy.
I think normal people (by me defiintion) leads their life that way. Not going to ruminate but this world is fucked up beyond measure.
I am 59 and I miss the way the world was in the seventies.
Now, I go get all the things I need and just stay home. Not safe to go out at night anymore.
I don’t remember writing this!!
@@redpillnibbler4423 Those must be some good red pills if you don't remember. LOL
I'm 52, single, no kids, 1 cat. I have 1 friend and that's it. I prefer being being alone. Most humans are fake and suck up your energy and it's exhausting.
People drain me.
people in most cases are draining.
They are also not very smart. That is why they love herding.
They often lack integrity.
💙
There is nothing wrong with having no friend's...most people are awful, some of your friend's turn out to be enemies. Self care is ❤ enjoying your life alone
126 likes on this comment is interesting...why are most people awful? I seem to experience this more lately as well...
Yeah some people are awful, i just when thru that s...t.
I relate. But who do you turn to fall back on or just want to chat to?
Who is it you compare yourself with the most it's generally your friends
@@DUB-sential nobody should live comparing at all.
I’m a guy and I am alone. I found that as we get older, we are invisible to everyone else… and friendship isn’t even considered when others look at you.
Same here, same here.........
I am also a guy and I am alone. I can relate to what you were saying. It’s very difficult to make friends I think. I am a very intelligent guy. I’m interested in lots of things I can have deep conversations. But it’s very hard to find people that even want to be friends. It’s a very weird world.
Anyway, if you would like, I would be willing to be your friend 😊
Im 44 without any friends, no pets, never been married and no kids. This might help somebody. I stopped using social media and dating apps two years ago. And instead invested my time in getting back in shape. Ive been dieting and exercising everyday for two years now and it has helped me in so many ways. Since I lost weight, I feel so much better, got my self confidence back and I finally reached to that special place where I no longer feel that I need people in my life to be happy. Ive learned to enjoy my own company because not everyone will stay in your life. Another good thing about being alone is that you dont have to worry about trying to fit in and impress people. You're free to be you, free as a bird.
Sounds like a dream!
I done all that gym stuff and really thought I’d meet some people,but the truth is I just find ‘making friends’ as an adult the most pathetic feeling ever---its worse than being alone.!
I’ve achieved my life’s purpose to create 2 beautiful girls,I haven’t seen them since their mum went gay but that’s a different story.
I got christened recently,
I feel it won’t be long
great
@@jamessones4044Finding it hard to meet people as an adult....does not make you a looser! I'm 60 have had 2 aneurysm's in 3 years...
Now I live with my son and his family.....I feel like a loser because I'm not able to contribute...so instead I wash the dishes everything......but 5hat feels wrong...like my son is raising a family.....it makes me feel bad. Especially with all that's going on on top of that. Did you have trauma as a child? The only reason I mentioned it..... recently I came across a video claiming that if you had trauma as a child your life will look a certain way. They say we isolate ourselves because what we've been though. CPTSD
You know it! 👍
I am 48 years old and i have a wonderful cat who keeps me company her name is Ruby rose. Thank you for this video there is nothing wrong with being a lone wolf i think it makes us more in touch with the world around us. Thank you Wendy for you being true to yourself.
Cats are the best company.
I have 7 cats, they are the best
Ooooh, I think this is the comment thread for me! 🙋 You'll never be lonely with a cat friend. 👍
I lost my cat friend a year ago. Cherish the little furry faces. 😢
Thank you for this video. I feel the same! ❤❤
I’m glad I found this video because I’m 56 and never been married, don’t have kids and I have no friends. Most of the time I feel like a freak of nature. I am a new subscriber. I guess I am a homebody, I don’t socialize much and I am not much into social media. I love TH-cam and I have Facebook. Social media is so fake! And I hate that. I like to keep things real and honest.
I'm 56, I have grown kids, I have my 2 furbabys, I'm content😊
You're not a freak of nature. My father used to call me "the survivor". You are blessed and God loves you, you're never alone my dear. :)
I’m just like you. Happy to see that I’m not alone.
I feel the same way you do beckyb.
You're not a freak of nature. I'm 66 and just like you. More power to us independent loners.
Since I took myself off of social media 4 years ago, I lost all of my "friends" and communication with family members because they were surface relationships that turned out to have no meaning. Learning to love myself has healed me from many of those toxic relationships and being alone has allowed me that space.
Same. I felt that if people actually cared, they'd call. And, some did!
Yup, w/o facebook its all crickets
Did the same thing with FB a few months ago. I was already down to just chatting with just my sister in DMs, who decided her life was to hectic to talk to me, but she had time to post memes and fall for data mining traps all that day. Well, she has my phone number when she's ready to catch up. Have not been on FB since - or heard from her for that matter. lol
I have so many views on this. I’m 57. I’ve never liked social media. It’s impersonal and superficial, I’m neither of those things. It’s NORMAL to want to connect with people on a REAL level. Not in a superficial way that is the trend. I do believe the pendulum will swing the other way. God bless you for posting your feelings! I am with you 200%!
just a suggestion to look up Echart Tolle, I think you would connect with him.
I’m 57 as well! I really enjoy being by myself- I have a very silly cat named K. Mittens and a beautiful (although very vocal) dog - Bella. I wouldn’t say that I have no friends- I just think that I’m very discerning at this point in my life of who I choose to let into my life. It’s taken me over 10 years in my current town to actually find friends that I really cherish. We’re all a bit different and a bit quirky. I think I’m blessed to have literally, 4 friends that I can count on and that I connect with on a daily or weekly basis. My friends range in age from early 40’s to 81 years young. I value their friendship and opinions- even when they call me out on my BS. My friends also know that I don’t appreciate anyone (including them) showing up at my house and knocking on my door! Wow- sorry for my rambling- and yes, I am socially awkward!
I really don't like social media either. I grew up where if you were out and you needed to call someone, you went to a phone booth or you waited until you got home. I still receive all my bills, statements and so on in the mail and it's paper in the physical. I don't do no online banking or shopping so scammers when it comes to me you're sh.t out of luck. I do all my shopping on foot and by bus. I enjoy it that way. I get to talking with people on the street or in the stores.
@shaz7133 I’ve seen a couple videos with him but I definitely need to watch much more. Thank you!!
There is truth to that statement. I read a news article reporting that the younger generation are going back to flip phones.
36 male single, never married and no kids in 2023. Nothing wrong being SOLO its unique. There are too many problems out there. No one deserves to be hurt or be unhappy. Even with friendships it all starting dying out during the pandemic. Now I don't care. I am the leader of my own life. I know the lord is watching me take on this world.
Right around the end of the pandemic is where I started to lose friends myself. They either stopped talking to me or I had a falling out with them. All in the space of 3 years. It's insane. But it is what it is.
"He will my shield & portion be..."
As a loner I have to say there is something wrong with being alone for years. Nobody wants to go through life alone all the time. I'm 32 single with no kids no friends or family. Me being alone 24/7 it's really starting to take a toll on my mental health. We all need at least one friend.
Still time for you to get married and have children if you wanted to
@@trinity9365 thank you Trinity. Everyone has respectful advices. I appeeciate it. I do want to have partner one day. But I just want someone who will love me for who I am. :)
I agree with your stance 100%! I’m a 60 year old bachelor. I’m a trucker and my work life is not conducive to maintaining many friendships. I’ve tried to fit in at church settings. It seems to me that church is, pretty much, a “family” organization. Singles are welcome to join, tithe, and help, but are always on the outside of the inner circle of people. Everything in life seems to be an illusion of inclusion.
❤
@@Mini-Me. Thank you.
I'm 61, and I agree with you about church. It's very much a coupled/married community, focused on families and kids. If you're single, it's hard to fit. I've found a church discussion group that I have attended for a couple of years, and that helps. It's a more liberal church, so it's more open to "alternative lifestyles" -- like not being married, lol. The conservative churches are even more married/couple-oriented, in my experience. I personally don't go to services, just attend the discussions -- I find them more interesting, and I'm better able to connect with people. I wouldn't say I've made any close friends there, really, but I have made a bunch of friendly connections, and that helps. Anyhow, good luck to you. I think it's harder for guys. Older women tend to have lots of places to connect (book clubs, exercise groups, etc.) whereas men's spaces have kind of evaporated, for the most part.
Thanks for your reply. I agree with you in that church is for families, primarily. I love God, but I can’t wait to leave the building once the service is over. I don’t sense that I can really get close to anyone there. I’m simply obeying the command not to forsake the gathering together of the brethren.
Ah yes, the not fitting into church because we aren't one of the special "married" humans. They definitely treat singleness as a disease and marriage as the cure, yet, ironically, Jesus was single, Paul was single and Paul even said it was better not to be married. 😉
I am 70, never married, no kids, no grandkids, no pets. The years take their toll and everything changes.
The years have definitely taken a toll and I’m 37…I have never been more comfortable being alone than I am now. 🫶🏽
I too am alone.. 62 and very content! No children, never married. Still work fulltime but looking forward to retirement. I enjoy sitting alone in crowded restaurant and just over hearing so many different conversations. Or going to movie theater and something… observing and listening to people. I get tired of only listening to my OWN thoughts so it’s nice to hear what other everyday people are feeling, or discussing or predicting, etc. oh and I talk to my 8 year old house cat too. She rescued me more than I rescued her. Thank you for share.
Has your cat got a cat buddy and is it allowed outside. Cats are wonderful.
BEAUTIFUL POST! I love the phrase "Who Rescued Whom?" I feel the same with my precious (formerly abused and on the run) shelter Australian Cattledoggie (my Princess and best friend) and my sister's kitties (I'm Auntie Sissy to them). Love them to bits! No children, never married and loving my fur people amongst other works and hobbies... Best Wishes :)
@@earnold1896 Nope just the one and all my past cats were stay insiders too. Heck, I DONT even like going outside. It’s crazy out there!
I am 52, divorced, and no kids. I have two cats as well. I love being alone. 😊 Your video brings comfort to know there are others out there just like me!
Energy-wise, we got ya back. We are all One. Keep on standing in your power Beautiful Soul.
Thank you for your beautiful comments.
I'm divorced as well. I find that working out, going to night classes at local colleges helps. There is always church fellowships , college basketball games, opens up avenues to meet people. If you look in community announcements of events in your area to do tours, listen to book readings, whatever, that is available. Just be ready to have your house presentable if you do have guest. I find athat having a smile on your face and a positive attitude attracts people as well. Good luck to you, I hope things work out for you.
My greatest friends have been animals.
You say " I love being alone" followed by "Your video brings comfort to know there are others out there just like me!"
That makes no sense? If you love being alone why would you desire the validation of others to make you feel comfortable in knowing there are others in the same position?
If you "love being alone" you shouldn't care whether or not there are "others like me".
I recommend the book, “Party of One” by Anneli Rufus. I’m 64 and always felt guilty that I didn’t have any friends once I graduated school. 6 yrs ago my husband (who has always had lots of friends) and I moved to a very large adult community in Fl. I thought finally I’ll have some friends. But I never made any. I realized I’m a true loner and don’t even need any friends. I don’t have anything in common w/ other women. I don’t play cards, watch stupid tv shows like The View, gamble or want to go to “shows”. It seems people are unable to entertain themselves. They’re mindless uninteresting people with whom I have nothing in common.
I dont believe I am mindless uninteresting person, or judgemental. I enjoy my own company and TV shows and the odd gamble. Do tend to chat while shopping, love cruising and family but still need my alone time.
I remember reading that book in 2004. Gave me so much confidence to embrace my love of being alone. Frankly, I find most people boring. I'd rather read a good book than waste my time on mindless chatter and small talk.
@ClaraFia wow from the way that you generalise people as being uninteresting etc etc …….it’s prob just as well that you enjoy your own company IMO
@@karencorban607Shes right about the majority of people. Interesting people are usually out doing something. Anything they love besides watching TV and playing cards. Inside people. Lol
O....so very true my dear - thanks for the share of the book as well! lolol
I am 63 and cannot remember the last time I had what I could call a friend. Once you leave high school and college, you have kids and work like crazy to get the bills paid then you retire. Then you have time to look around and think "I have no friends". I have tried to make friends but people end up just using me by taking advantage of my desire to have friends. I finally gave up because people are crazy and/or evil. It is better to keep your pets as your friends.
Wow! I'm 54, never married, no kids and have no friends as well. I used to think there was something wrong with me that being alone never bothered me. Thanks for posting this video.
@cassioalteirosa169 Instead of copy pasting the same cryptic response, why don't you explain why it is an illusion.
@@vaderladylit’s a bot
That means you will die alone and nobody will know about it, and no descendants to pass on your legacy. If you are not at least rich then your ultimate fate will suck
@@KittyKittyBangBang249what is the purpose of the robot can you explain. I've had people say that some comments on Boss but I don't really know what it means or what the Bots doing? Don't laugh at me I'm also in my early fifties and I have no idea what they're doing all they raising money do they get paid for comments who knows LOL😂
@@Oilofmercy guess what, friend? I just turned 53 July 2 and I don’t have a clue what their purpose is. I just know they exist! We were born in the wrong time to know what all this crap means 😂😂😂
I am 61 an if I am alive after 11 days I will be 62. The title of this video sparked my curiosity and it was a sobering experience listening as well as reading the comments. I am married with two adult children but my life is like the Robin Williams revelation where it is better to be alone than feel alone in the company of others. Over the years people who I thought were friends severed ties with me. They simply stopped calling, stopped receiving my calls and if I had a chance meeting with them they were busy. For some time I kept analysing myself to understand what I did or didn't do to be so deserving. Eventually I had to accept that I was so busy being a friend to them that I didn't realise they didn't see me in the same light. Seven years ago I almost died. I spent a month in the hospital and 2 months at home. The doctors were baffled by my illness as well as my recovery. It was expected that I would die all around (hospital, work, family and friends). The period for my recovery was estimated at a year; at least. I was recovered in 5 months. While I was enduring the greatest struggle of my life, the remainder of, who I thought were friends abandoned me in every respect. I have come to accept my life with zero friends. At least I don't have to question if anyone is truly my friend or if they are just along for the benefits. Thank you for the video. It has warmed my heart.
@@lurch789 Never believe in their absurd false dichotomies (where you have to choose one of two options). You always choose the third option - knowledge. Educate yourself.
I hear you! I am divorced with 3 adult children . I have been hospitalised and had recovery and had exactly no support or kindness from them or anyone else . I got the train home from hospital.. everyone was busy... Now I look back and think what ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I know I can survive anything I know I don't need anyone ... I used to be the one there for everyone else... Not any more ... I am alone ... I know there would be no one to mourn me if I passed so cause no one sadness and just live my life.
I’d love to listen to more of your story if you want to tell it.
@@lurch789 Actually it was Biden who polarized the country. Remember when everything didn't cost a fortune? That's when Trump was in office. Nobody can afford to live a nice life anymore with Biden. That divided the country. Wake up.
i'll be your friend, i'm 61 also and will be 62 next month. going for surgery sept 27 and nobody here for me either
I'm 66 and I LOVE being alone, although with four housecats, I'm never "alone". I feel fortunate that I enjoy solitude and feel sorry for those who don't, because I think that's the way our society is headed, and more people are going to find themselves alone whether they like it or not.
I have a husband and two kids and often feel like my cat is my bestie :-).
I’m 65, have 4 rescue cats that are all seniors now, and I love being by myself….😊…but just for a bit of time…
But I do miss all my friends who have moved all over the country to be near their grandkids…..we keep in touch, but I am joining random groups in my new town so I can meet some people……while I enjoy my own company…I still do need human contact.😊
You are right. Our society is definitely headed that way. Sadly.
keep telling yourself that, you may actually start believing it soon
@@jazziez6467 What do you mean?
Male, 50, never married, no kids, not lonely (for the most part). At times it does feel like I’m paddling the ‘canoe’ of life with a single oar. However, I try to widen out in my association in my congregation and keep busy in my ministry. As a result I’ve made 2 good friends. Life isn’t perfect now but I look forward to the future. The best is yet to come.
I am almost 49 and I'm totally a loner. I love being home and life is less stressful without everyone's deception and drama.
I so agree, but I think it would still be great to have a couple of good friends. One evening after a fast I thought I perhaps had a mini stroke, but only my son to call. My sister moved to Alberta a year ago and I do miss not being able to see her much.
True story!
Im 49 and have no friends. About 10 years ago my husband moved in with another woman. I lost my home to foreclosure, the 2 only friends I had, one for 25yrs and the other 15yrs both died nine months apart in their 40's both tragically. My family bailed on me. I only had my 2 dogs. I lost everything including myself. I didnt know my place in the world anymore. Everybody i turned to hoping to find friendship either saw my vulnerability and tried to take advantage of me or once they heard my story didnt want to have anything to do with me. Its like if you dont have anything to offer people besides friendship they want nothing to do with you. It was a realization that I couldnt believe I was going through. Im ok being alone, but honestly it would be so nice to have some really good friends that could just love you unconditionally and visa versa. People are just so rapped up with themselves and their very immediate family. It depresses me from time to time, but Im doing the best I can. Im a work in progress till the bitter end.
Id rather chill with animals than humans these days
@@obbhoy I hear yah
Everything gets stripped away until there is nothing left but you. It's like going through the dark night of the soul. It's very painful but on the otherside of it you're born into the new you, the real you.
@hummingbird2254 Yep that's exactly what happened. Dark night of the soul. But honestly it needed to happen.
Would you like to be my friend? :) I am a 48 y.o. female with a pretty tragic story as well. I am very well educated and I own a big property in Southern Ohio but I do not care if my friends have any education, property, or money.
I feel this trend is only going to continue, and society is going to have to adapt to it. I think most people think of this phenomenon in only in terms of social isolation-but there’s more important aspects to consider. Case in point; I was recently recommended to have a surgical procedure performed. The Dr’s office informed me I’d be sedated, meaning I can’t drive. Unfortunately, because I have no spouse, no kids, no living family, and no friends, I don’t have anyone to bring me, wait through the appointment, and then see me safely home. Yes-there are things like Lyft and Uber, but they’re not readily available in my town. Nor do I trust a complete stranger to drive me home and see me inside. This is a real issue with implications far beyond just feelings of loneliness.
Likely the Dr's office will NOT allow Lyft or Uber or taxi. Start with asking the Dr's office for options they know about (you are NOT their only patient with this issue). Next option the home healthcare aid companies offer this type of help; you simply hire an aid for X hours (take you to appt; remain waiting to then take you home and take you inside and settle you in safely). Hope this helps!
The challenges of self-sufficiency!
Have you tried a Church? It's hard to ask but I know for a fact the Church of Christ I grew up in would help in a heartbeat - it isn't the only church out there either, I bet you could easily find someone in any Christian church you stepped into if you try.
....just make sure they're a Christian Church, in more than their name only.
I'd help you if I could, if you happen to live in NW Alabama then I'll go ahead & volunteer. I take my dad everywhere but I likely wouldn't have anyone either unless I allowed one of my older 2 kids to drive my car & that isn't happening unless it's life or death. 😂
Praying for you! 🙏❤️
@@emc6511that is actually a good idea.
@@angiew2324Church is also a good source of friends in general
I'm 62 and retired. Since I retired from my job I have fewer friends. I am married, but my husband mostly watches TV all day or sleeps. I actually enjoy doing things by myself. I do a lot of solo traveling with my photography gear, I have realized now that I don't need to be surrounded by "friends" or have to be in a group to have fun. I enjoy being alone and spending as much time doing the things that I want to do. I think a lot of it is maturity. The older we get the less BS we want to deal with in our lives. I enjoy my peaceful life.
Ditto!
Same im 38, with 2 sons. I don't do social media. I never fit in , I'm a loner and at times but I'm happy being alone rather being around superficial people . Stay strong everyone 💪 ❤️
I think you are lucky to recognize that early on. It took most of my life to be secure in myself. Good on you!
pssst.... you're doing social media now, babe. 🙃
TH-cam is social media
Hi Jen, are you in the UK ? I practice Gematria too & good at it, I have 4 daughters, I can't relate to people because of their pre programmed mind set/ cognitive dissonance, having no friends doesn't bother me but would be great to share my interests with someone on the same level
relate to this but I am 29 without kids and just my partners friends is enough to drain me and keep me hiding to recharge. It's too much drama, money and obligations to keep people around, and in the end most bite you when real hard times come.
I'm 66 and I have outlived all my lifelong friends. And boy, do I miss them. My biggest concern is the lack of anyone that can help me out when I'm sick or injured. Even trying to do certain tasks at home is hardly doable unless I pay someone. Like the poster of this video, I, too, live for my cats and books. I am grateful for the wonderful friends I had over my life.
Me too. Me too!
I am 42 years old and outlived both of my best friends who happened to be my sisters. They both died when they were only 38 years old. My older sister passed in 2017 and most recently my little sister died suddenly in 2022. I am so grateful I had them in my life for so many years. They were the kindest most beautiful wonderful people I ever had the honor of growing up with and who always supported and had my back. Facing the rest of my life without them is scary, lonely and I am trying to figure out who I am now.
But as time passes, I am more and more content to be alone. I'll never have another friend like my sisters. That bond comes only once in a lifetime. I do not trust people as a general rule. So I have been thinking about getting a dog soon though-A pug for companionship. ❤
Yes, me too. It is frustrating and scary all mixed together. We need to build communities of single people with no social networks. There is strength in numbers.
I am 62 and in the same boat. My health has been failing for over 5 years and its hard being sick alone. I have always lived alone and enjoy being a loner. But old age is making me realized its too hard to do alone. I don't know what to do about that. I'm looking for communal living situations. I'd love to live in a small community of older folks all helping each other out.
Lot of older folks seem to be living in the southwest in campers. Lots of older ladies 60's, 70's, and even 80's. Inexpensive and much comradery. @@LakotaCat
For me, I had to learn to be my best friend first. I understand what you are saying about not having friends. I became disconnected from my friends when I moved from one state to another, looked around, and realized I no longer had any friends. To help with my loneliness, I began by shopping for appropriate clothes for the area I now live in. Next, I tried many different hobbies and found a love of adult coloring. Next, I looked to my library for in-person groups to join. I joined a reading group and a coloring group. Next, I also found a political group to join. Now the people I am meeting are not my “true” friends, but these activities keep me out of my home, and I do not think so much about being lonely. It is a start!
Thank you so much for commenting and sharing! Yes, that is pretty much how I became disconnected from friends over the years - I moved. I have a good number of hobbies that I enjoy as well. One thing about my personality and how I am is that I am not lonely. I am fine with being alone most of the time and I do have my 2 cats that keep me company. Hugs to you!
I'm 59, no family, have two good friends, one out of town. I get my hair done weekly to lesson the load with bleaching styling etc., and it boosts my mood and is a social contact. I take violin lessons once per week, choir once/week, and go to church, the latter being a Godsend, because I'm definitely Conservative. It's been 10 months for me back at church, and I am making new friends there. I also have 3 small dogs who are my family. I tried Aquafit, it wasn't for me. I also tried a duplicate bridge course, not for me either. I was very sick during Covid and also had stressful legal trouble, my longterm friend and power of attorney was not there for me, it was a rude awakening. Between taking care of my dogs, my house, my health, and violin and song practice, my slate is close to full. I find I enjoy my own company more.
I also learned to be my own best friend.
Agree that you have to find some sort of group activity to join. They may not be friends but it gets you out of the house.
That’s really cool and helpful thanks
Social media has sucked the soul out of humanity.
Hi Wendy, I'm so happy to find you. It's 5am in England and I've been awake hours. I've been scouring TH-cam for anything that i could resonate with and speak to my soul. I've been in tears this morning too. The chaos in the world is worrying me too. I am also 54, single, never married, no kids. I haven't had any friends for well over 10yrs. And single for a long time. I've given up on ever finding that special person. I struggle working with my colleagues at times due to work frustrations and the never ending daily dramas. I've stopped encouraging friends or neighbours into my life as it is gives me some peace when I get home. I don't feel lonely anymore, but I do feel sadness and I wonder why I am to wander my path alone.. I do drink too much, it's not the answer but I do enjoy being a homebody. I'm just not happy in my life. There is a chap at work who walks past my office always smiling and saying hello and passing chats. I can feel myself getting carried away in my head, but he's probably with a partner. Everybody has somebody, just not us lol. Take care All. Empath and introvert too. Yes, we are survivors, it's not been easy.. Julie 🌻New subscriber for sure....
I am 56, single, no kids, never married. Agree with you about drama and feeling like we will be alone rest of our lives. I am fortunate to have 2 genuine friends who are 74 and 80. And have full active lives. Both single. They are intelligent, well read, have hobbies, and are not demanding. Cinema, pubs, bands, comedy, restaurants, etc..they are much more interesting and good conversationalists than most half their age.
Hugs to you Julie from across the pond!!
Thank you Ladies 🌹
No not everybody has someone. We choose not to have someone in our lives if they can't give us what we need emotionally, etc. Learn to accept you for who you are and embrace it. If someone comes along when you are ready, go for it. If not, that is ok.
Hugs and love!! ❤
So honest and brave to say. Ditto for me. I'm 57 and came to realize that the friends I had are not the friends I would like and that my family are really only interested in themselves and comparing each other or out doing each other. In other words I got tired of all the bullshit so here I am. Its all good though maybe a transition period.
I'm 56 , never married , no children and the only people I have conversations with are family and work colleagues . I've had friends in the past but haven't had any friends for a long time or been in a relationship for a long time ! You're not alone .
Same. I also am in my 50s, don't have any offspring by choice, and don't have any friends within a few hours drive, I am fine always being alone with my pets. I am trying to find like-minded zero-offspring by choice people who want to build our own child-FREE beach neighborhood.
I am super happy someone is speaking out on this subject. Many many people are alone. Not lonely. We love our peace and quiet and the "no drama" is the best part of it. Just ask yourself, "WOULD YOU RATHER WALK ALONE OR WITH A FOOL" ? I think is okay to walk alone. Not a problem. Namaste!
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What's that cute animal in your picture? So cute :3
You’re a very wise person! The social media individuals and their 1,001 friends is BS.
Thank you for commenting! Hugs to you! Well, I don't know how wise, but I can see through most of the bullsh*t some of the time!
@@halstonandharleys I enjoyed your whole video. I’d much rather hang out with a “friendless” person like you than someone who has a ton of friends. There’s a lot to be said for going solo in life. Not such a bad thing! The friends I have are real, not virtual. Hugs to you!
Yes, it causes more problems then it helps.
once Facebook had "everyone" on there(including cancel culture drama queens) it wasnt fun anymore. I noticed I'd be stressed or bummed out.
I like that Wendy says Social media bulls#!t. It would be nice to have 2 or 3 friends like it was in 90s or 2000s. If my cousin has an over night , shes airline crew member so she comes to hike with me and I luv that. I hike with my dog and go to gym. But I dont have friends🤷🏻♀️
I have 138 friends on fb , 75% are from childhood / school / international
72 here and also love being a loner. I've never had one lonely moment in my life since I called my marriage quits after 12 years. Was in my mid-thirties then and knew I would never want to remarry again. Had some men I knew before marriage, who wanted to marry me when I moved back to my small hometown, even though I was raising 2 small kids on my own. I let them know we could only be friends as I wanted to stay single. It was always a shock to men that not all women need or want a man around to be happy.
During my marriage, I put my all into it to make sure my spouse was happy and had everything he needed. I didn't realize that I lost my identity then because I was devoting so much time to that so there wasn't any me-time. Now it is all me-time. It is wonderful to be selfish and indulge myself. I also got my motorcycle license, bought a foreign sports car, took some martial arts classes, Yoga and volleyball, learned guitar, started my own seasonal business while also working, and indulged myself with houseplants, stained glass projects, and so many hobbies. I have so many interests that there will never be enough time to enjoy them all. Because I lived alone once my kids grew up, I got the opportunity to depend only on myself. I'm actually quite good at repairing large appliances, small engines, etc. I wouldn't have that if I was with someone. It makes me very confident and self-sufficient to have those skills.
I try to steer clear of having friends, although I still have one from work. We were close then, but chose to not socialize away from work. We email about once a month since we both have busy lives. She, with her partner, and her job (she is 50, and clever, so we always understood each other). We get along because she is not needy. I often seemed to attract women who are clingy and have always tried to be gentle to explain that I do not want the responsibility of a friend because I am an introverted loner. I've never minded sharing my knowledge, just do not want to devote that much of my time to someone. I guess when someone has a lot of interests, they attract those who have not experienced many things. I think they believe I might be lonely and would want to teach them those things. Nope, I do not wish to teach you stained glass... there are classes that will do that for you or now we have TH-cam so people do not even have to sign up for classes! It would be too time-consuming to take on a friend. I am already a Mom to my 2 adult kids who live in cities for their jobs and they understand how I am.
Glad to read so many stories here that confirm we can function without a spouse and be fulfilled on our own. So many men and women are still waiting around for someone to make them whole. It is a shame they have not figured out how to enjoy each day as is.
Im 34 and you hit the the nail on the head saying friendships were easier pre cell phone, texting and social media era. You actually had to put in effort but you also weren't at the disposal of others (feeling like you have to constantly be in contact or reach out constantly). Im a homebody and more introverted and its exhausting today to feel like i have to "keep up" with appearances and due diligence in friendship. Thank you for this video - it popped up in my feed and was exactly what i needed to hear!
Im glad i see a comment from someone my age 😂 im 33 but can relate so much
I was looking for a comment from someone who is my age or near, and you happened to be my exact age LoL I can relate so well to your comment!
@@SakaDeeJay me too lol
@@laurensparanormalreviewsan860 It's always nice when this happens x)
38 here! Oh man I really gave up lol seriously.. especially when trying to make a fellow mom friend. Why is it so hard?
I have found that cell phones have basically destroyed the human connection with others. My husband and I have what we considered very good friends for over two years. We hung out, did dinner, parties, etc and it was all great. Then when something happened that they both knew would affect my husband and I they completely ignored the situation and chose to "avoid" saying anything. When asked to talk to them and when we did speak to them face to face they just couldn't handle the emotion that was pouring out of us. They were so uncomfortable that we were expressing our heartfelt emotions that they just stopped talking to us. It's so much easier today to just hide behind a text message. NO Feelings involved. It's so sad.
Here likewise! I'm from Switzerland, 55 years old, no kids, never been married, no partner, no friends. As I'm mid 50's now, I have to admit that I feel awkward not having any children as (almost) everybody around me has children or even grandchildren by now; and thus, realizing that when my parents pass away I am completely on my own; to be honest that freaks me out a bit.
Same here. I realized how alone I am after my parents passed away. It's not a good feeling. Try to cultivate a circle of friends now. The sooner, the better!
I completely understand.
Me too.
I’m very proud not to have had children. It was my choice. Any two dogs on the street can reproduce themselves. Nobody gets a cookie for doing something like that. It’s not hard.
As someone who has been chronically ill and had difficulty doing the basics to survive and am feeling a bit better, I worry about being in need and not being able to care for myself because I literally had to be cared for for four years of my life (and then my partner left because caring for an extremely ill person was too much for her). I try to accept that potential future (we don’t know what the future will bring) as a part of life just like being chronically ill most of my life and being debilitatingly ill for the last 20 years has been.
For whatever reason, I’ve always found this thought comforting: Anything that can happen to anyone can happen to me. I’m actually not alone in this. This is a human experience and others are experiencing it. I try to have as much compassion for me as I have for them.
The ability to be alone and have no friends and be OK with it is a blessing and an attribute of strength in your personality. That's something I have learned through first hand experience.
I'm 27 and I have no friends... I'm tried the social media thing to make new friends but that back fire in my face. I think right now it will be better for me to be solo because I'm highly sensitive and in the world we live I don't think they truly value connecting with people in a deep level. I'm happy I came across to your video !
I searched, I'm 56 and have no friends, and came across your blog. You spoke to my soul. Thank you for making this video..I have no friends but I'm not lonely, I'm just confused because I'm a nice person. Maybe I'm a psychopathe. I've been tested and was told I was to sociable to be one. But I don't know. People aren't interested in me, and I'm ok with it.
I’m 46 and I am the same way. My thing was it seemed like I always have to compromise in the friendship, and it always led to me getting hurt. So now, I just feel better and love my loner status. There are times when I’m like, I need to make some friends..then 5 seconds later; I’m like, I’m good. Thank you for sharing your story!❤❤❤❤
Thanks for this video, really appreciated. I’m a guy, 53, living in Sussex County, England. I’m single but it became a lot more difficult to meet people & be a part of a social group once I got into my 40s.
I was diagnosed with ME/CFS back in 2016 which resulted in me needing to stop work (I can get just as tired from mental exertion as I do from physical exertion).
Like you, I don’t do social media. Before I got ill I could always find ways to enjoy my free time. Now I’m ill it can make me housebound for anything from a few weeks or a few months.
I’ve always loved people, I’m a conversationalist, the older I’ve become the more I accept & value the differences between myself & others.
But I never imagined just how lonely it could be, as a singleton in my 40s/50s.
I have to continually process my emotions to remain mentally & emotionally healthy because the solitude is so absolute.
Somehow your video popped up in my feed. It was cathartic to hear you share about being single. It demonstrates to me I’m not a freak, that there’s a demographic of people like me.
I don’t crave solitude but I’ve learned to live with it.
I’m so sorry to hear about your having ME/CFS. I have CFS & Fibromyalgia so I can totally relate to the lack of energy. I can’t even get up to make myself breakfast or lunch most days so I end up ordering from DoorDash. It’s hard to have a social life with CFS because being out somewhere all day literally leaves me bedridden for like 3 days. It’s quite hot here in California so summers mean I’m inside the house 95% of the time because I get heat exhaustion very rapidly. That’s not including the all over pain, especially in my neck, and low back, legs and feet. I’m very prone to falling due to the fibromyalgia induced neuropathy in my feet. As I’m sure you’re aware, people with CFS are prone to getting sick easily because we either don’t get enough restorative sleep or we sleep too much. This can hinder social activity as well. Make sure you check with your doctor so he can do a blood test to make sure you aren’t B12 deficient, I have been borderline anemic several times due to my B12 levels getting too low. B12 deficiency causes fatigue to become worse and can impact your nerves, like in your hands and feet. I wish you a better future with your health and maybe you can join some type of club that doesn’t need a lot of physical stamina. Many blessings.
I feel similarly. in that I don't crave this deep a solitude, but I guess I have learned to live with it. about constantly trying to be emotionally healthy. and so on. just what you said resonates with me as well.
@@lisaanderson7924 Aah, thanks for your kind reply 😀 Yeah, us cfs’ers suffer the double whammy of poor health causing social isolation. cfs has completely changed my social landscape.
Thanks for the suggestion regarding blood tests for B12 deficiency. I’m scheduled for a blood test next week. I’m a member of some online cfs forums because there’s no local support groups in my area 😢
I also experience a lot of pain in both legs, especially in the joints. The pain presented when I first got ill.
Recently I’ve been lamenting the fact that yet another summer has passed me by, cocooned at home but like you I struggle with the warmer weather. I’m glad you shared about mostly staying at home in the hot weather, it helps me to know I’m not alone in being confined to my home 👍🏻
Thanks again for the suggestions & encouragement, that’s appreciated 😀
Thank you for addressing this important issue and speaking openly and candidly about it. I thought I was the only one experiencing this problem! I'm 69, and I also have no friends. Some have died, some moved away, some I moved away from and others just decided they no longer want to be my friend. It's difficult to find people who share my increasingly esoteric interests. As I've gotten older I've become more interested in spirituality and less interested in the material world. I work at home and I'm alone most of the time. I'm OK with being alone, but worry about what will happen if I need some help. Who will I call? It's strange to live amongst so many people and feel so alone and alienated.
Lots of us out there, I wish we all loved near each other
@@victoriapember8965Wherever you do live, there are probably 10 lonely people within a block or two of you. Go for it.
@cassietondro yep exactly the same, I wonder constantly what will happen to all my stuff, what if I fall? I spend every birthday, mothers day, Christmas on my own and go on coach holidays on my own, I was 68 on 2nd July, it's hard getting up on your birthday alone, I used to go to a spiritual church but that closed
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Plenty of young people are yearning for an older person to confide in and ask for advice. I think we older people have so much to offer, and they have their youth and joy to give us back. It's win-win.
53 here with two cats. Between my parents passing away and the pandemic, my life has become very isolated and lonely. I used to have lots of friends, and liked socializing. I've realized that certain people only contact me when they want or need something.
I really needed to hear this today. Now I don't feel so alone.
You are definitely not alone! Seems there are a lot of us out there. Hugs to you!!
I'm with you. Needed this.
Same. Thank you
@@halstonandharleysWhy not start a Facebook page for followers of your TH-cam page. Sounds like it would be a great support for so many resonating with this video. ❤️
I came across your channel by chance and much of what you say resonates with me! I am 54, married, no children. It was definitely easier to establish friendships when you had to actually talk to a person either over the telephone or in person. Reading other comments here, it struck me that in a way, your channel is a gesture of ''friendship' to other people out there who can relate and share a connection with each other and with you. And that is nice.
Thank you for sharing Wendy. Your video makes me more at peace with my quiet life. I am 71, have 2 children that live very far away. My daughter wants nothing to do with me and won't even tell me why, for almost 4 years now. My son calls a few times a year and doesn't want to hear about my life so we talk about the weather and things that don't matter. His live-in girl friend told him that adult men don't have close relationships with their mothers. So.... my son who used to share everything with me has been very distant for the past 8 years. There are a couple of fairly active Meet-up groups around me that I sometimes attend and I have even been an organizer in the past. However, as time goes on I am less interested in people and find that I cannot count on them for anything..... not even showing up on time. It's important to me to have good conversations where I feel safe to share. I haven't found that much in the past years. One of the things I have found when I reach out to make plans is where most of the women I find talk over me constantly. That is so tiring. You certainly aren't alone and I think you are courageous to do all that you do on your own. I have 3 cats and I know I can always count on them for love. Take care Girl; you are wonderful as you are.
I admire your stability. I lost any friends I had when mental illness kicked into high gear (not making excuses). It's hard for me to always be alone. I suck at socializing and understanding social rules. Great presentation.
Your self awareness is more than most people have. All the best to you.
Love
I’m 38 and you described bang on how my life is too. People judge all the time but I don’t care, its my life and I am happy living it this way!
I'm 55, after my divorce, my children disowned me for reasons unknown, no social media, I had to purge all toxic people out of my life. I work from home and don't do much of anything. Ever since I was little I always suffered abandonment issues, so my default mode is 'self preservation'. This way I won't be disappointed and I won't disappoint. I prefer peace in my life now.
❤
I had to disown two of my sisters. They are toxic to me. So, I am alone. I am glad, to no longer have Mr. Gaslighter, in my life, too
@@abundantlyclear I recently disowned my half-sister who is an energy vampire who sucks the very life out of you.
@@abundantlyclearsame. I totally agree.
Good for you! Your situation is NOT uncommon, I’m in the same boat.
I am 50 and, recently, I have struggled with this. I love being alone because it is so peaceful and relaxing, but I also crave human interaction. I'm a teacher, so I get that when I work, but it seems like there needs to be more. I'd like to have someone to share my interests with. I'd like someone to confide in when I am struggling. I'd like it if, when I die, that there's more than just a few family members there. I also moved around a lot, and I think this has been part of the issue. Friendships are built over time. I have realized, too, that everyone in my age range is married and they either only spend time with their spouses or with other married couples. I have lost friends because they got married (they were no longer allowed to come out and play). I have 3 pets and they received all of my love and much of my free time and energy, but I can't very well take my dog to a museum or to go out to eat together. Recently, I have pushed myself to get active at my church and that has helped.
Same. About to turn 55. No family. No friends. Feel very scared by this predicament.
I'm 35 this year and have no friends. I've gone through stages in life of being social and being introverted. In my early 20's I started having major troubles with my mental health. During that time I stopped drinking/partying and slowly noticed my friends disappearing. I'm happy alone, I enjoy my own company. I have my pets, my boyfriend, and my mom...no one else. To be honest I find it exhausting to try and maintain friendships. People want to hang out too much or they talk too much, it's just very draining. I would like to have a friend to go get coffee with or join me on my walks, I just can't be available everyday and this seems to cause friction. My mom doesn't have friends anymore either. She's about 20 years sober and same thing happened with her, when she got clean all her friends were gone. Social media really did change the way people interact and not really for the better. Funny that it's called social media when it's anything but. People have become so distant, face to face makes most too anxious now. I'm better in person, chatting online or through text is super annoying to me. It's just easier being alone doing my own thing.
Being alone is glorious - the further I am away from people the better I feel!
Amen to that
@@clairebiddle8290 Yup, you got it.
I just recently told one of my few friends that I generally don't like people. I dont enjoy small talk. And that it must be easy to live in a Buddhist temple meditating and not interacting with others. I can handle being alone.
Wasn’t there some French philosopher who wanted to spend time living with various people to get to the bottom of what makes people tick. Anyway he gave up finally, somewhat disconsolate, and said “Hell is other people.”. That pretty much says it all.
Ditto, we moved from crowded NW FL to 10 acres in the SW VA country. The hell with people.
Thank you for sharing your story. This is something that I have experienced in the last 2-3yrs and felt embarrassed about. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone with this experience.
Hey Wendy, I’m 64 and find it incredibly tough to live this way. I mean, I like time alone, just not ALL my time alone and most of my friends are married and never invite singles to events. Isolation is definitely a byproduct of social media. I have reached out for two years now, including to old friends and the response or reaching back is nearly nonexistent. I have zero family and am retired, so there are no work companions and my girlfriend of two years just broke with me. After reading your comment section, I see just how common and accepted this is now, which is a little frightening to me. I want to share meaningful times with at least one person but it’s hard especially in a rural setting to meet likeminded people. I’m afraid this is a growing trend and I see no way to prevent it. Maybe we should create a group and gather seasonally- “The Dispossessed “. Good luck with your journey.
Thank you so much for taking time to speak about the concept of being "friendless" and not sorry or sad about it. We sure are a fine big group due to all the reasons you wisely stated. Life is good, friends or not. Have a pet, keep healthy and be happy !!!