I do too. Love all your music and I dance around the house as well. I'm from the 70s, 80s era and it's just the best. You have a lot of great ideas about things to do. I live in FL.. way too hot for me to walk. The humidity makes it hard to breathe. Church.. eh. I'm a believer for sure but had some bad experiences with going to church. Ppl there are nice and all but they start asking too many questions and that's when I start keeping my distance. I'm a private person. I do read my NIV Bible bc I understand it better and want to stay right in God's word. ✌️ and ❤
A quote from Robin Williams... "I use to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not, the worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone." It would be nice to have atleast one friend who cares.
I learned that from a boyfriend. Never felt so alone in a house with him. I lived alone for the first time after we broke up and got the first experience of the peace of solitude.
Very well said. I'm exploring a new frontier: learning how I can be my own best friend. I used to think that was a nonsense kind of thing, but now I realize I've never really been nice or kind to myself, and so I'm trying that on for size. Who knows, maybe once I do that, I'll attract a better quality of people and make a good friend.
Being a retired single woman I have noticed married women are difficult to befriend They behave as if your going to steal their husband🙃 Soo that could be a hindrance🤔
I’m getting to know a girl and we’re both married & same age, so far we’ve hit it off. She wants me to come for a visit, since I said I wanted to get out town for a few days. A sort of girls 3 day weekend. Even though we’re both married I’m not going until I can afford the drive & a hotel I don’t wanna be sleeping in her house while her husband is there. No misunderstandings!!
I'm single, retired, empty nester (of four!) and have been totally on my own for well over a decade . I noticed the same thing. But sometimes, I think it's been the women's nonsupportive, domineering, controlling, selfish, jealous-type, a-hole husbands who have made them end their friendship with me because they fear their wives might change, become more empowered, learn about self love, do things they love (whether with or without their spouse/partner) and leave their sorry asses! 😜
52 and just...done. Done with bad relationships that go nowhere, done with awkward "talking" phases that amount to zilch, done with friends who invalidate how I feel, just...done.
63 yrs old here and no "friends" by choice. Never had any, never wanted any. "Friends" are overrated, needy and filled with drama. For the record, you have the wrong impression of introverts. Introverts are often incredibly social, don't confuse it with being shy. We just derive our energy and peace from looking inside our own heads, not from interactions with other people.
I am SO grateful for your videos. If I hear one more pseudo-psychologist claim "you'll live 15-20 years longer if you have a large circle of friends..." I'll puke. I've learned to love my time with myself. I'm actually a pretty cool person ;-)
I think your topic has hit a nerve. I am not surprised that there are so many people living alone and do not have any friends. Particularly as you age it is harder to make friends. Keep up the great topics
It's tough to be a loner sometimes but it's also the safest way to live. People can bring all kinds of toxicity to our lives. It seems to be more true today than it was decades ago.
Women over 50 (or Gen X) with no good friends is becoming an epidemic. We have to be there for each other!!!!! I have wanted to start a group or something but then I stop and worry because I don’t know what the hell I am doing!! I just KNOW something has to be DONE. All these smart, lovely women with so much to give are an amazing resource!!!!
People of every possible age group are experiencing dangerous loneliness. Teenagers report the most loneliness in the US. 20 - 30 yr olds are the 2nd greatest group. Older women have no monopoly on loneliness. Many, many people are lonely all over the world. ❤️
I’m 60 and alone for first time. Not sure it’s worth it anymore. Probably why there’s a housing shortage in the world. People just want to be alone, especially after being married to narcissistic partners for years.
i'm at a point where i'm really good in my life, emotionally, financially. I don't feel the need for people just to take up my time and space. I only hang with people who enchance my life. :) so I'm alone, and I LOVE it, but if I need interaction I can just go out and talk to people too, it's enough for me! lol
Hi Wendy. I'm in my 60s and have never married with no children. I've been an introvert all my life, and I spend 95% of my time alone. I enjoy crossword puzzles, anagrams, listening to music or podcasts, reading, and watching classic movies and TV shows. I'm also fortunate to live in an area with local parks and go on nature walks.
Some of us just don’t like other people in general. Too many bad experiences in life. I’ve fully embraced being a loner at 45. I get my fill of people at work. I look forward to the weekends with just me, myself, and the dog. 👍
I am 37 and I have no friends, not married and no children(except my cats). I feel like people in general just want to use you for whatever they can and when you need it it's never there. The quality of people has just changed. Very few people are honest anymore. Everything is full of drama. I pray for younger generations bc who knows how bad it will get. We live in a world where it's a total mess. Government is controlled by money and 75 percent of us are broke and or starving. It's just sad. Imagine if all of us good hearted people got together. It's almost like the world is pushing us to stay alone and home where it's safe
@stevo6891I dumped a long time friend for that reason and a few others. She never had time for me when I would call her to talk so, when I let her go, I realized I didn’t miss her because there really was no emotional connection to our friendship!
@stevo6891 Sorry to hear that. I don’t have a good relationship with my two brothers either. I’m single with no kids; they are both married with kids. I used to help my older brother out with money because they were always broke. I helped them for years then woke up to how inconsiderate he and his wife are when a few years back, they didn’t even bother to send me a Christmas card and thought it was no big deal after all I had done for them. I cut them off after that and have a very stilted relationship with them…I don’t hate them but I don’t like them very much! I don’t even have their names or numbers listed in my phone. If anything happened with me, I would not be contacting them to let them know; so I get what you were saying. Family can be the pits!
I'm 53 and have no friends. When I worked I had work friends but not friends in general. I'm introverted but not to an extreme. I do enjoy alone time. I'm horrible at small talk. It can be very lonely sometimes. Thank goodness I have three dogs ❤
I have similar experiences . I do work still - from home but I have one “ work “ friend in another state and we talk on the phone sometimes . I’m mildly introverted i suppose, I prefer quiet time at home - I have two dogs and a cat and my grandkids visit about once a month which is great . Kids don’t do small talk . ☺️
One of the best ideas I have is learning the keyboard. I don't have friends. I am 66 and love being my own friend. I haven't met anyone in my life who is a better friend than me. If I had learned this earlier in life, I would have saved myself alot of misery.
Yes, Gen X here. No friends at all. Husband very busy with work, so I'm alone 98% of the time! Grown daughter also very busy in life. I have my two tiny doggies and that really helps a lot. I just haven't ever found a friend that I click with so-to-speak. I don't do drama, I can't deal with folks with zero common sense, no drugs or alcoholics, etc. I'm just a person who loves Jesus, animals, nature, historic places, outdoor activities and exploring wonderful places. Why in the world it's been impossible to connect with someone like me I have no idea!
I’m 52 and have no friends and I’m good with that. I like to take art classes, volunteer, go to the local theatre and to food and wine festivals. I take road trips in my area, no more than 3 hours. I go to festivals, theatre, museums and the beach. I also like to read, listen to music, do puzzles and paint by numbers.
I do *almost* prefer no friends probably because I'm an introvert. I literally live in my truck out in the woods. I know sounds weird but I love it. I do have a best friend and I see her here and there but I'm cool doing stuff solo. I do feel horrible for those that don't want to be solo and it turns to loneliness, there seems to be more and more of that these days. Thank you Wendy for addressing this. 🥰
I totes understand yr situation.Been there. I'm a lone wolf too, am spiritual, and very happy, at peace. Wishing you unlimited blessings, peace, harmony, love. 🙏💃🙌🤗
I can't deal with the drama anymore, either! Most people seem to have so many serious emotional problems, and I don't have the energy or the willingness to deal with it anymore. I'm almost 60, and I'm TIRED!
Yeah I am doing that. Just have a hard time with retaining female friendships. Goes well for a while and then the group just implodes. I sort of just feel like giving up. So going to concentrate on my own things and not worry about any deeper friendships anymore
Forgotten middle child in a forgotten decade. 57 no friends but NOT complaining. Tried marriage, tried clubs and societies, nope, I like my own company too.
I think Wendy has a good channel here with amazing people to share this phenomenon. So many extroverts make the mistake of labeling introverts as people who do not like people which is usually far off the mark. I think we are simply able to exist alone when others will stay in terrible relationships either for MONEY or to NOT BE ALONE.
I am 67 years old and what I have learned in life about people are 2 things they are very hurtful and they always love to give you advice on their opinion on things and honestly I am so tired of it ! I raised 3 children as a stay at home Mom and have always been there for them but 2 out of the 3 have been extremely hurtful to me , when it comes to my own flesh and blood being like this too then I feel like I have had it , I am the type of person that would rather die then hurt anyone and I really am disgusted.
I thought I was the only one without friends. I want friends but I’m shy, I’ve had some really horrible friends in the past so I’m cautious now when making friends. I hate drama & negative people & it’s hard to find positive people. I’ve gotten used to being alone & do enjoy it. Drama free zone😊
I totally relate to this bubbles. Best to detach from the trauma narcs and there are more and more of these people who actually can sniff out empaths and goodness to FEED off of. I used to live in Minnesota and women there are passive aggressive I could write a book. They pay to play and stab there fellow females in the back, I moved and have never been happier.
I’m 62 and my only friends are from childhood and don’t live close. I’ve made some friends but end up distancing myself from them for various reasons, but it’s usually because they are so self absorbed and it drains me.
Hi 67 year old from Scotland. No children by choice. No extended family either. Have friends but perhaps being an only child, I love my own company. Being content in your own company is one of the greatest virtues you can foster. Sometime or other you will be on your own so the sooner you learn to enjoy it the better in my opinion. My constant companion is my 14 year of standard poodle who I adore. Dogs have been the biggest love of my life together with music and reading. I’m in a book group. My tip would be to read outside your comfort zone. Many great authors have fallen out of fashion but its some of the best literature you’ll ever read. By the way Rick Beto is on you tube interviewing Christopher cross. His channel is fantastic for us music buffs of a certain age.
I’d rather be alone then have toxic, petty, gossipy friends that bad mouth u while smiling to ur face. As soon as u help them with their problems & struggles they disappear. It’s almost impossible to find genuine, honest, humble, kind friends that r also loyal & will not betray u. I’ve lost some good friends that died from cancer & coworkers that I thought were friends never heard from again after losing my job. My husband also died from cancer & bc I’m no longer a couple, never heard from our friends again. I’ve moved around a lot but I never look for friends, I do talk to ppl at stores & neighbors but never make plans. I don’t trust ppl & I’m just too tired & don’t care to start friendships only to get hurt so my 2 cats r my family.
I can relate. I had a coworker who I thought was a friend. I guess she was a frenemy. Before I retired, she was sabotaging me from finishing up a big project that I had been working on. She sarcastically asked if I wanted a retirement party, and laughed when I was telling her something that had been in the news. She laughed and said she didn't want to use the words (conspiracy theorist). Now that news item is making waves. After I retired, she would contact me but only to report gossip about me.
Get a dog. That's all the friend you'll ever need. You have a companion who's fun, gets you to exercise , loves you and wants to share everything with you. It works for me because I don't trust people. I had a bad childhood and it affected my ability to get close to people.
And maybe if you want to find other like minded people a dog park is a great place for you and your dog to hang out for as long or little time you want... Dog parks are great socializing spaces... For your dog... and you... ❤
@@47280 I was at the dog park today and there was a guy that I would say that we are 100% opposite... He was being vocal and everything he was saying I was completely against... But, hay... he had a dogs and the dogs were nice (they actually come to Me for a rub and lick)... I let the guy spew his hatred without interruption... And after my dog was tired... we left... good time... 😎
I live by myself in the country . I love it . I have my two dogs , and my work . I would like to have a close friend to do somethings with . I am a talker . I love deep conversation. I do not want a partnership or lover . Just burned on that stuff . I love being outdoors .
I have found that people take an instant dislike of me before they even get to know me...which I find very very upsetting ... I realised at an early age that people just didn't like me... I became a recluse because of this ... I get very jealous of people who have loads of friends without even having to try very hard... they have no idea just how lucky they are... I have even considered killing myself because of being constantly rejected ... I'm not a nasty person , I'm a good neighbour, person and it breaks my heart that I have been treated this way most of my life.
I have this experience a lot with people. And I attribute most of it to the ADHD. I'm outspoken ,get loud sometimes and women get jealous.also sometimes I say things they don't like because of the ADHD.its very hard.mostly I try to make friends with older gentleman that seem to understand me better.
I have a friend who said the exact same thing to me most of our lives. She is friendly , nice and but did suffer from childhood abuse but not the typical kind, and was not popular in school and had a weight problem. I found her to be beautiful inside and out side, I found her to be nice, kind and just pleasant to be around. In her case I would say the turn off to people she meets is they feel or sense or feel her depression or her anger at her situation. I am not sure how to word it right. It's like they won't give her a chance because they sense her moods or her trials in life?? She too gets very jealous and feels insecure the same as you mentioned. Just want you to know that you're not alone. Praying that you find someone whom you can feel at ease and who will except you and love you. It's not you it is not my friend.. people can be just weird for many reasons. as I told my friend maybe thes epeople would not be healthy for her. I am sorry but please keep putting yourself out there.. Praying for better people to enter your life who can see you for the person you are.
Being a single lady can be hard because wives don't want their husbands around you and single men can't understand that they aren't God's Gift, so you can't be friends and must avoid them.
All great ideas! I purchased some albums this weekend, including Crosby, Stills, & Nash and Donna Summer. I used to go hiking by myself but it has gotten too dangerous. I worry about getting lost, hurt, ambushed, etc. I do take day trips to the shore but, honestly it is a little lonely. I like being by myself the majority of the time but there are times I want to have deep conversations or not worry about finding someone to bring me to the hospital for procedures. I’m 54 as well (born in 1969) and I don’t want to grow old and die with no one by my side. 🥺
I feel the same way as you. There’s no one who has my back. The friends that I did have had husbands. I just didn’t fit in. I would like to get a dog, but I still work and with an hour commute at a minimum each day. It’s very difficult. I keep saying that God will see me through this.
Crosby, Stills and Nash!! Don’t forget Young! Lol Remember when you would have friends over just to spin records and just enjoy being in the presence of others! The 70’s and 80’s were not bad…
Hi Wendy...great topic! I'm 66, never married (prince charming was rather elusive!), no kids, and recently retired. I had quite an active social life in my 20's/30's but became more of a homebody as I aged. Being an only child I learned at a young age how to entertain myself when playmates weren't around, so now that I'm older I find I prefer my alone time/solitude. I used to love taking solo road trips to western NC (I live in north Ga)...my favorite was spending time up in Blowing Rock, exploring the Blue Ridge Pkwy and Grandfather Mtn, hiking to Linville Falls (gorgeous), and checking out the local art galleries. Sadly, it's no longer safe for anyone (especially women) to go hiking alone, so I will now content myself with walking in local parks. Many years ago I started taking jewelry classes at local beading shops (most are now closed) so now that I'm retired I will happily resume that hobby (TH-cam has TONS of beading tutorials...so many talented artists/designers out there). I also love reading, adult coloring, exploring thrift shops, knitting and spending time with my sweet mom (especially since my dear dad recently passed). Future goals are to learn watercolor painting, crochet, and volunteering at our local animal shelter (LOVE the fur babies!). Retirement is such a blessing...it's wonderful having so much free time to explore different interests and hobbies! Have a safe and happy 4th of July!
The 80's was The Best!!!! I'll be 55 in September and no friends! I do not miss all the drama, lies etc from so called friends! I too am old school! The only "social media" I do is YT! I Love hand feeding the birds and squirrels on my front porch! I love going to thrift stores... Books books & more books (i prefer holding an actual book & turning the page's), i look for bottles, bowls etc to repot my succulent plants, and of course, 80's music cds. I cut vines & twist & weave them, let them dry out, then turn them into beautiful wreaths, natural habitats for bird & squirrel houses etc, I do the same with pine straw & sticks! I lost my BF of 24 yrs to cancer, (Dec will be 13yrs ago). I miss her everyday! A TRUE FRIENDSHIP, we considered ourselves sisters! When we had differences of opinions, we were Never disrespectful Never. We would both explain (never interrupted when the other was speaking & we Whole Heartedly Listened) our point of view of the matter and if we still disagreed we would laugh and agree to diasgree...done appreciation, respect and love for each other Won every single time! Im Very Blessed to have had 24yrs of a true friendship and as an only child, very cool to have been able to choose my sister! Jan had 9 siblings..yes 9 and not one if them to help her during her illness! IF they drove her to get a chemo treatment, they demanded gas $ and $for lunch!!!🤬 So I did it, no charge! I was the one with her when she passed, that was what she wanted, she said i was the only one who could keep her calm! She was the only "friend" my husband ever liked out of all i had ever had...he Loved her as much as I did, she loved his gumbo and she always called him brother in law versus his name, he loved that! My husband has always been an extreme introvert, she made him laugh and she made him be chatty with her it was wonderful. My children are grown with their own families, my husband and i are homebodies, although webused to go out for dinner once every weekend, but he no longer likes to do that. Yes, i do get lonely and depressed but todays society is crazy and my trust in ppl is gone (from the draining toxic drama ppl i put had put up with throughout my life; I put all the toxic ppl on the road and am Better for it!) My Daddy always told me, if you have 1 true good friend during your whole lifetime, you are a very lucky person (there will never be another Janice and im so thankful i had her!) Thank you for creating these Wonderful video's they are a Blessing! Reading the comments are a Blessing to me as well! Love and Peace to All
@@debbiejohnson7758 Thank you so very much Debbie! Your reply blessed my heart and Happy tears flowed. Thank you for appreciating & honoring our friendship❣️ I hope you have a beautiful weekend🌻🌼💛
I walk in nature , i fees birds and squirrels , i do some crafts , i like to take long drives in the country ( wish i could move to the country ). Love that i found your channel. I have no friends but i do go out and shop im ok being alone 😊😊😊
I'm in UK. I think you tube is great for taking away the feeling of loneliness. Without interaction on the Internet and social media I'd be lonely. People don't talk about it. Thank god I have my hobbies because that also stops loneliness and depression.
This is definitely related to Gen Xers. Yes, we're the forgotten generation. People go right from talking about Baby Boomers to talking about Millennials. Uhm, hello, I'm over here and I'm alive.
I love that you make the distinction between friends and acquaintances. I am 53 with multiple acquaintances, but almost no friends. I prefer alone time and peace. Perhaps it is my age, but I like doing what I want, on my own terms.
Thank you...I'm 66 and all my friends are either married or still working and I'm struggling. I retired at 65 and kind of lost. I live in a small town and there isn't a lot to do. I go to church, I volunter at the Senior Center to deliver meals...I'm trying but that is it. Depression and anxeity are taking over and I don't want to let it win.
I enjoy spending time with my horse, going to the casino to play slots, taking community college classes, and absolutely yes to going to the library! I am not avoiding making friends but enjoy these activities so much that I really don't miss human company while busily absorbed in them!
Hi my name is Kate but I use my husband account lol, you popped up on my phone today and I have watched 3 of your vlogs, I am 56 years old and I live in England 🇬🇧, I have so many things in common with you,I haven't had any friends for years, I can't have children and most women where I live make friends at the school gates and sports things, baby groups, so I never fitted in also when you don't have children people find you abit odd .I was single for years and everyone seemed to be married, I found women don't want to invite a attractive single woman into their lives lol,I always had lots of people to talk to at work and neighbours but I was always on the outside looking in,I than met my husband who I am sure is heaven sent because we have so many things in common and I have never been loved so much in my life ❤, I am very lucky to have him but when he is working I spend alot of time on my own, I am use to it but think it would be nice to have a friend, I think you are a lovely lady and I hope you met someone special one day, I was listening to you talk about your love of music 🎶 and I think you would be great at hospital radio, you love music and you have a nice way of talking, good luck lovely lady from Kate 🇬🇧 😊❤
Some suggestions from a lake guy, . Im 62, and I've been retired two whole weeks!, . So now im alone, -all the time! I love flea markets, and antique malls, so those are built-in road trips. ..I like restoring antiques, and repurposing flea market finds, So generally, if i have a project, im happy, I dont mind my own company, but it does get a little lonely at times. My Dad gave me a love for the lake, so I moved to big water, .on Grand lake in Oklahoma, I live in a little lakefront community. I bought a mobile home- (on purpose.) things are a little volatile on the planet right now, .so you need to be flexible, nothing spells flexible like having axles under your house! I dont care for bars, I dont drink anymore, haven't for 20 years, (my experience is that chemicals dont make good decisions.) Ive never been in a casino in my life, theres nothing there I want, Someone invited me to 'Happy hour' . that they started @ Grove, but instead of invading a bar somewhere, people gather at the local Brahms,- from 4pm to 6 ish'. And eat ice-cream!, And its 'happy hour'! People sit around and talk, and eat ice cream and its great fun!
I have acquaintances lots of them but I have no friends, I’m 55 years old I have a puppy who gives me unconditional love.❤ I like your show it makes me feel I’m not alone anymore.
You actual have great social skills. I feel like you’re with your listeners! Also I like that you are busting the myth that being alone is a disease. It’s only a disease if you’re ill at ease inside.
I’m 60,I’m divorced happily for 20 years. I’ve always been very social but the last few years it’s been hard to make friends. It gets lonely. I tried the senior center ad everyone was so sad and depressed, no one wanted to socialize. I’m alone a lot of the time. I spend my time daydreaming of the 70s,wishing I was a teen again ad could go home to the house I grew up in and our neighborhood,where everyone knew one another.
@@paulinepaterson5918we come from a different generation where people really cared and appreciated everything and everyone. A generation with a desire and appreciation to make things the best as they could be. Most of all we valued one another and enjoyed one another. I remember my parents always having company, mostly unannounced. Our door was never locked. Today you wouldn’t just show up at someone’s house or them at yours. This seems to be the isolation generation. People are scared, they don’t trust, they don’t want to connect, they don’t seem to care about anything.. Society is kind of nuts ,maybe it was and we didn’t constantly hear about it like we do today. Obviously something changed in people. I’m hoping those of us that would like to , could do some kind of weekly online meet up on TH-cam, to share our thoughts and ideas about dealing with loneliness.
@@ginah8023 Just turned 61. I feel exactly the same way. Same life circumstances. Divorced 17 years, Just lost my mom who was my best friend, both grown children doing great but not around. I've always had male friends but girls are so difficult LOL I would love to have a female friend to chat with.
@@dina_b I lost my mom 2 years ago. Kids are grown successful and have their own families, they don’t seem to be interested in anything to do with family . I get an occasional text maybe once a year, and they live close by. I’ve tried reaching out many times and the don’t answer at all. I even had to have a serious surgery, again no response. I gave up, I gave up and figure if they want to make contact they will. There’s never been any kind of argument and they say they had a good childhood ,so I guess it’s just a different generation. I got a surprise call today from a male friend, just a friend never anything more.he asked me to go to lunch and the movies. It was nice. I’m trying to appreciate the small things.
I am 67 and have no friends. I am disabled and my husband died 5 years ago, no kids. Most of the time I prefer to be alone with my cat. The church thing did not work for me; neither did meetup. I love to read and do logic puzzles. One thing I discovered recently is solo board games--I never knew they existed! There are many different types, and TH-cam has videos showing how to play. Some of them are so small I can play them on a lapdesk. Recently I also discovered solo journaling games, where you write as part of the game. There is even a website where you can play board games solo or letting others join. Best wishes that everyone finds someone/something to contribute to their happiness/contentment!
Thank you for being open about the fact that church and meetup groups did not work out for you - they're not for everyone. Hope you continue to find things to bring you joy.
I have found some good groups of women in my area on Facebook. But it is definitely hard to connect. I had no idea it would be like this. Curious about the solo board games
@@karmasutra4774 TH-cam has channels devoted to just solo gaming, including instructions on how to play. If you have a store near you that sells games, they will be able to point you to games you might like. They might have games you can rent, and tables where you can play. Best of luck!
There is a stigma about being alone, even if you prefer it, especially at times like christmas, birthdays, new year, valentine's. Knowing there are so many others out there who are exactly the same has to help. It's a psychological and emotional impact to know you're not weird, you're not alone in being alone, you're not abnormal, you haven't failed, you haven't done anything wrong. I wrote a long comment in your other video but i never put it on there because i felt its none of my business. But in short i believe you are now making exactly the right kind of videos for this time in our history. There's so many isolated people out there. I have friends but not really in my own country and right now im not travelling due to the cost. I don't see anybody. Im over 50 too and a man. I look out of the window on my night off and i think, 'Do i really want to go out there?' And mostly i don't. I do sense that people are tired of fakery and lies.They are tired of being lied to by their families, by the media, by so-called authority figures who are nothing of the sort, including doctors. Old-school people are being marginalised by the mainstream right now as they push through an agenda to de-humanize humanity, to make nature a dirty word, to make fun of honesty, integrity and decency. People are getting mad now. But so many are depressed, isolated and on meds. So do not ever underestimate how much of an impact a 10 minute honest video with integrity can have on someone who is being marginalised and who feels like an alien now on their own planet.If you're consistent with your videos, you will grow your own little community. God bless you. Regarding getting out of depression/isolation, i would say to people don't put pressure on yourself to solve it all overnight....little steps, one thing at a time to add to or remove from your life...the 1st question people could ask themselves is what makes them happy or what used to make them happy. And if it's not possible to do it alone then think about if they want to do something physical or more cultural or emotional. What kind of healing or personal expression do they need. So it could be anything from walking in the trees, going to museums, joining a gym, collecting something they like, doing something creative to express what is inside them, like writing or sculpture or painting, learning an instrument and writing songs, going on daytrips to different areas just to get out of the room or the emptiness. People can do all those things alone while still being around people in most of them. I think we need contact without necessarily being IN contact. So even going to different kinds of markets or carboot sales gets you around people without having to join a group. And there's so many, you could go to a different one every week or month in a different town. I know someone who is 60 and does this. I think if a person is not working it's important to try to make at least one day a week different from all the others in a special way. Even if it's just walking on the beach then getting a takeaway and watching a movie or just baking a cake or making bread to see how it turns out. Have that one day if that's all you can afford and it will give you something to look forward to as well as breaking up the monotony of same thing every day. Some kind of physical exercise releases chemicals in the blood that make us feel better and doing that also will help people to sleep.
Thanks for the viewpoint!!!!! I'm 54, "LONE WOLF" 4 years strong, 2 years sober (from alcohol), and more than ok with it!!!! Yeah, I miss having a "close friend" to confide in or have fun with, go fishing, whatever!? But, I broke my neck in 2014 FROM FALLING OUT OF BED!/ 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬and became PERMANENTLY DISABLED!?!? Naturally, I no longer could do the FUN THINGS WE DO ON MAUI!!!!!! I didn't move to an ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN cause I love watching TV!!!?!!? So, to say I "lost my zest for life", you'd be UNDER EXAGGERATING!!? 😂😂 It is good to know that there's A LOT of THINGS US OUT(inside)THERE!!!!!! STAY STRONG, BROTHER!!!!!!! 🤙🤙🤙🤙🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🤤🤤🤤
I’m 52. I have a couple of friends, but hardly ever see them, so I spend most of my free time doing things alone. I’m married but my husband doesn’t like doing the same things as me, so he goes and does his thing and I go and do my thing. I roller skate, go to the movies, go to concerts alone, go for walks, go shopping. Stuff like that.
I just found your channel yesterday and I feel like I found my long lost soul sister! When you held up an Agatha Christie book I busted out laughing. AC has been my favorite author since I read Murder on the Orient Express when I was in high school, and that was almost 40 years ago. I also live alone but I rarely feel lonely. I have a dog and three cats for daily company. My best (and only) friend lives about an hour away across the border in Ohio so we only see each other once a month or so but we talk weekly. We have been friends for 30+ years. She is 12 years older than I am but we just clicked from the first time we met and have been there for each other through the good times and the bad times ever since.
I don’t fit in anywhere I don’t drink or smoke anything. I’ve gotten used to being alone. Yes sometimes it gets lonely sometimes I like it and then I don’t.
I think it's so sad that so many of us really don't have a good friend. I am content with my alone time but it sure would be nice for all of us to have some one. We moved around a lot so I was never able to form lasting friendships. I do envy those ladies who have someone they have known their whole life
I'm middle age as well. Never been married, no kids. I do have a few friends though we almost never go out together and I am perfectly fine with that. I gave up many years ago looking for a soulmate. When I'm not working my day job, I spend my time growing plants and trees which I find to be very therapeutic! I very much enjoy nature. We don't have to have a lot of friends to have a good life!!! In most cases, I'm simply too busy to go out...
Thank you!!!! Yes I totally get it!!! I’m 56 and have no friends at all. Like you, I chose to be this way. No, I’m not an introvert, but I do like to be alone 99% of the time also! You make me feel normal! I am the only person I know like me!!! I am so glad that you are doing this channel! I like to garden, I grow my own veggies, knit, sew and like to go to the gym. I also like to go camping. You are EXACTLY RIGHT about our generation being the forgotten generation. I have grown kids, however they are too busy to check in or call me. So I just enjoy myself doing whatever I do, and if they ever wake up and realize they might want to check in with me, I’ll be here.
I'm 52 female married no kids by choice. I haven't had any friends for a decade. In my 20s and 30s I went against my natural hard-wiring and pretty much forced myself to be much more social than I wanted - due to society's expectations and because I thought maybe there was something wrong with me if I didn't. I did not learn about introversion until a few years ago. Sure I'd heard of it, but always thought it basically meant being shy, which I'm not. But when I learned the true definition, it blew my mind because it describes me to a "T". My husband is my only friend, and he understands me (he's an ambivert). We do have mutual interests, but we also do our own thing separately which is great for both of us. Honestly I do not miss having friends at this stage of my life. With the ones I had, female friends to be specific, it was pretty one-sided and I realized I was basically a free therapist for them. Our "friendships" consisted of them calling me and droning on for hours day after day about all their personal drama because I'm a good empathetic non-judgmental listener lol. I found it hard to cut the "conversations" short because I did care about their wellbeing and didn't want to hurt their feelings or add to their stress. It took a few years before I finally woke up and gradually cut them out of my life when it became clear they only liked me because I was supportive and validated their feelings. A couple of them claimed I was their best friend, but they didn't reciprocate. They were never there for me in a real way when I needed to be heard and understood with whatever was going on in my life, and they would always turn the conversation back to them. 9 times out of 10 I would get together with them for whatever they invited me to, but it did not go the other way around. Another thing I experienced with female friends who are moms (and I get it, most women do have kids - we are, after all, biologically programmed to reproduce lol) is they talk about their kids, A LOT. And truly, if I'm someone's friend, I enjoy hearing about it in moderation. But good lord they will monopolize the conversation on that subject. Sorry, but I just can't relate since my husband and I are child-free. We're the cool fun auntie and uncle lol. I won't talk anyone's ear off if I know a topic is something they express no interest in or can't relate to, and if I've been speaking for a bit I make it a point to ask about them and listen. But others don't do that (my experience at least) and it literally drains, exhausts, and stresses me out. On the other hand, my experience has been that males are easier and more interesting to talk to. We can talk about all kinds of stuff. By stuff I mean mutually interesting topics, and they don't go on and on about petty dramas or their kids. Yes they might bring those things up once in a while which is completely fine, but my point is they don't monopolize the conversation. So as I've gotten older I realize I truly love my own company. When I'm alone I have no regrets or second thoughts about it. I actually feel completely at ease that way. Zero stress, no one to get on my nerves and drain me. During the times I'm alone, I am never lonely or bored. I can read in peace, listen to music, surf the net for hours or watch TV (mostly Seinfeld and The Office reruns, wildlife programs, oh and anything true crime!). I love hiking, working out, spending time with our pets, gardening, wildlife & nature photography - and when I do have the luxury of time, I spend hours editing my photos and videos. I used to volunteer at the local animal shelter but it got to be too much with my crazy work schedule (I want to get back into it in a few years when I retire). Other than YT, I am not on social media since I have no friends lol, but seriously I find it to be mostly shallow, obnoxious, boring, and self-centered. I also enjoy walking around my neighborhood or getting in the car and driving for hours - it really clears my mind and puts me at ease as I listen to all my favorite music, and I always bring my camera and stop wherever it looks interesting. I also do solo out-of-state road trips a couple times a year - my sanity saver as an introvert with a demanding and highly stressful job. Another thing I realized recently is even though I'm an introvert, I don't mind being around people - like in a restaurant, store, or concert, etc. - as long as I don't have to interact with them. I love just blending in and no one noticing me or looking at me sideways because I'm by myself. It's a very liberating feeling 😎
I feel EXACTLY the same way you do. It was really weird seeing it in print written by somebody else, I must admit. With exception of the road trips and a highly stressful job, we share the same set of circumstances in life. I'm totally fine with it, too. Rock on 👍
@elleo1864 Wow, I really related to what you said about those one-sided relationships! I got tired of being the only one who put any effort into the "friendship". I was always the listener, they were the talker. There was one woman who would literally keep talking for hours on end on the phone, never letting me talk, or ever asking for my viewpoint on anything. Then after 2 hours of listening to her, I would tell her I needed to go, and she would act all offended, as if I was ending the "conversation" too soon! But it wasn't a conversation at all, it was a monologue, with her doing all the talking. I've experienced too many of these types of so-called "friendships", and I think I attract these types of people because I am a good listener. The thing is, I really care about other people's feelings, but I haven't felt that care reciprocated. So I'm pretty exhausted by now, and feel like it's just easier and more peaceful to be alone!
My oldest daughter's name is Wendy Marie! ❤ Some other ideas are old fashioned letter writing, canning, decorating, repair, political volunteering, visiting elderly or lonely widows with a plant they can take care of, visiting a nursing home and giving them a simple handmade lavender etc. sachet, Flower Arranging Class, drying or pressing 🌺, scrapbooking or photo albums, cake decorating and giving the cake as your gift, keeping a Diary & pet sitting just to name a few!
I know I'm out of your age range( I'm 30) but I can definitely relate to your situation. I currently just own my own house, no girlfriend or kids. I used to get depressed over not having true friends; then I realized I'm wasting my potential by being so reliant on other people. You look good and sound like a positive person. Hope all is well.
Hi Wendy, so glad you popped up on my UT page. Karla, 62 in Oklahoma. I have been a loner all my life. At 62, my daughter is estranged of 4 yrs. We were always so very close. My so called family is no longer family. Since my spinal injury, and not able to work, family disappeared. That’s ok, their loss. But when they needed something, I was the one they all came to. It hurt, but not anymore. I’ve got God! I started doing adult coloring, loved it. Usually a winter time hobby. I loved loved riding motorcycles, (still have my leathers etc) lol. What I would give to be on a week long riding adventure. I love hiking, but don’t go anymore as like you, I live in a small town with nothing to do. I have my furr baby and go for long walks. Not long enough. Lol. Anywho, I’m rambling. Thank you so much for putting this out there, as no one talks about such a needed topic to talk about, so thank you. Oh I’m subscribing. Look forward to getting to know you better. My sister(oldest) told me I was too honest. Well, I want friends that will be honest back. I’d rather be hurt with honesty than hurt with a lie.
I’m 45 and, after moving to Florida in 2008, my family and friends are up north in New England. While I’m friendly with some co-workers, I very rarely see them outside of work. Those of us who are putting comments on here should try to set up an instant messaging group, message board, or some Zoom calls. Just a suggestion!😊
lol I get the too honest as well, I said what would you prefer me to lie,that's who I am,but most people are fake and i don't like that,so will just be on my own as I only want genuine people to be friends with.
@@annbow4064 that’s me. If you don’t like my honesty, find someone else to be friends with. I hate to say this; but my sister is so fake, it makes me crazy. Lol
I'm a genXer too and find it difficult to meet people. Like you though I can enjoy my own company. I honestly don't miss being a part of the crowd, there's to many fake people. Good video!
Hey Wendy! 54 year old here with no friends, and even an enemy or two :D. What I think might be a big difference is that these days you're supposed to talk about problems with a therapist, and have a wholesome good time with friends, which wasn't very common 50 years ago. People don't ask friends anymore to help, they call a company. If you ask on facebook if anybody needs a fridge or a toaster there are no takers, they rather buy it than feel like they owe somebody, even an old friend. Greetings from the Netherlands!
Thanks for the ideas! My kids are grown and moved away, then my husband passed away in 2021. I'm alone for the first time in my life. I don't mind being alone most of the time, but I found out that I need to get out and be around people once in a while.
My Mother was my friend "always," and when I had no friends she was always my friend. She taught me long ago that "You're your friend" She was right! Since around 2001/2002 I have had no friends whatsoever. Acquaintances but no friends. It used to bother me but it has not in such a long time. Better off without fair weather friends or friends that no longer want to be friends or people that do not want friendship. I am comfortable without friends.
I love going to the mall and people watch. I walk to get some exercise and then sit with a drink to see what other people are doing. I also like to go to an afternoon movie by myself. I'm retired so I take advantage of the senior discounts..
Truth be told, I don’t think that anybody has all of these “friends” that they think they do. Friend is a word we throw around way too loosely, just like the word love. I also believe that the older we get, the fewer “friends” we’ll have (or even want).
You raised a concern that many won't talk about and is a common circumstance. Perhaps due to embarrassment, or the assumption there is something wrong with us. I'm happy you spoke out.
I blame the internet, social media, our obsession with being glued to our phones. People have forgotten how to communicate the old fashioned way. Single people resort to online dating but don't know how to just approach someone in real life and strike up a conversation. Sad times. I'm also Gen X.
I’m retired and have no real friends close by, those that I have live far away. I’m also a widow. I walk every day in the park. Fortunately it’s close by, maybe 2 miles. I love to walk there, it gives me exercise and clears my mind and helps combat depression. I love music and often I listen and sing and dance. I don’t feel lonely, but sometimes I am alone. Yet, I am thankful for what I have!!
I prefer having no friends now. I can do what I want, I don't need to be constantly available to everyone (I have a dumbphone, LOVE IT), I can spend my money on myself and I am not burdened with others' problems all the time. The last one is huge. I had no idea how much mental energy other people's stupid, silly drama took out of me. Not major stuff like my mom died or my husband left me but the whole "I heard that so and so said to so and so that so and so There aren't even enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. I read, write, go for walks, exercise and do lots of arts and crafts. I also love just amassing random knowledge. Thrifting in itself is a hobby, isn't it? If you only want socialization and not friends, groups where the same few people meet regularly can be really tricky. What tends to happen is that the others do befriend each other and you end up kind of excluded if you don't go to their other meet ups, aren't in their group chats, etc. Or you end up having people expect Christmas presents and the privilege to call you any time to vent. I know it sounds bad, but I just want to socialize without the obligations. I wasted enough of my time, energy and money on people that dumped me over stupid shit or worse, hurt me deeply. The only person who will be with you all your life and always have your back is YOU. So that is who I will selfishly focus on--ME! I will not live the life someone else wants me to live.
This is so me. I don't mind getting deeper, but it takes time for me to do that and also others are so flakey and gossipy it turns me off. So we just don't make it as friends. I am like you. I want to have a good time with people and share fun experiences. The real life stuff is what we should be taking a break from, so prefer to enjoy it and keep it light. What is your personality style? I just recently realized I am INTJ and the not wanting to get too close is part of that personality. I understand myself better by reading about it
@@karmasutra4774 And the part that always got to me was...after all of the listening to them complain about what Susan at work said and how their husband didn't buy them a more expensive birthday gift...nobody came through when I really needed someone. There was always something else more important. I agree about the gossipy thing too. I don't care to discuss whether Brenda might be in debt because of all of the stuff she buys. I barely even know Brenda and really, Kathy, you sound jealous. And if you talk about Brenda like that, how do you talk about me when I'm not around? Yeah, I do much better with acquaintances. We can laugh and have a good time together, but I'm not the person you will call to vent or want to depend on. I'm the Logician (INTP).
I'm in the same situation. I just get out a do things by myself and don't wait for other people to ask: hiking, swimming, yoga class, amusement parks, concerts, ball games, museums, movies, basically anything i want.
I'm 47, I don't have any friends... I used to. My life kinda fell apart, family with two kids fell apart... now I just live alone. I'm pretty active on the Internet and have a small group of friends... life just didn't work out. It is what it is... as a teenager I was also a loner so, I'm used to it. I feel for people who struggle with loneliness though, it must be rough.
66, no friends, and disabled. Many who are disabled are limited in their activities and have few opportunities, even if they wanted, to make friends. Aside from family, I've learned to be content with being alone because previous attempts at making new friends brought nothing but unwanted drama. Aside from that, I am also completely nocturnal...so most of what I do is at night....and mainly on the computer. I have no interest in making internet 'friends'. The past year I have worked on my genealogy with Ancestry. It's been a fascinating adventure and I hope to be able to provide my history for my sons. For almost 15 years I have watched Korean dramas with English subtitles (they are addicting) and so I am learning the Korean language and culture through dramas and Korean music. I have a list of people I follow on youtube (from around the world) who provide information on a wide array of subjects and I also follow music reaction videos.....I love seeing someone react for the first time to music I love. I watch documentaries about subjects I am interested in and I participate in discussions on political forums. All in all, I am so grateful to have access to just about anything and everything in the world through my computer.
I agree with everything you have said. I'm a male in my late 50s in Minneapolis, MN, USA, and it is just so impossible to make friends here. I have tried everything but nothing works. Yes, I have many acquaintances and know alot of people but they are not friends. Well, the Lord will help us.
Same here. 55 yo female in NYC. Don’t drink, smoke, go to bars, etc. Recently had to leave my church because of false teachings that came in. Trying to meet like minded people, but struggling to find them. Still trying to find a solid church.
@@DepDawg You are not alone in this either. I'm a life-long member of my church but they do absolutely nothing for adult singles over 35 but have plenty of ministries for young adults. These churches just don't want to bother with ministries for middle-aged or senior single adults.
It's obvious you have plenty of hobbies and interests such as reading detective stories, painting, puzzles, gym, music and your cats. It's the human connection that is missing.
Who else wishes this lady was their friend?
She could be my best friend if we lived in the same state. 😂
Lol lol
I do too. Love all your music and I dance around the house as well. I'm from the 70s, 80s era and it's just the best. You have a lot of great ideas about things to do. I live in FL.. way too hot for me to walk. The humidity makes it hard to breathe. Church.. eh. I'm a believer for sure but had some bad experiences with going to church. Ppl there are nice and all but they start asking too many questions and that's when I start keeping my distance. I'm a private person. I do read my NIV Bible bc I understand it better and want to stay right in God's word. ✌️ and ❤
Me. She seems really nice and genuine!
Agreed
I’m 63, never married, no friends and live in a small town where gossip is king. I wish I had a few friends but it’s not worth the gossip.
The 70's and 80's were the best of times!
I strongly believe no company is better then bad company on any day
That is for sure
A quote from Robin Williams... "I use to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not, the worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
It would be nice to have atleast one friend who cares.
I learned that from a boyfriend. Never felt so alone in a house with him. I lived alone for the first time after we broke up and got the first experience of the peace of solitude.
Very well said. I'm exploring a new frontier: learning how I can be my own best friend. I used to think that was a nonsense kind of thing, but now I realize I've never really been nice or kind to myself, and so I'm trying that on for size. Who knows, maybe once I do that, I'll attract a better quality of people and make a good friend.
@@MsLinda165 Yes you will when you care for yourself more.
Being a retired single woman I have noticed married women are difficult to befriend They behave as if your going to steal their husband🙃 Soo that could be a hindrance🤔
I’ve been there before when I was single
I’m getting to know a girl and we’re both married & same age, so far we’ve hit it off. She wants me to come for a visit, since I said I wanted to get out town for a few days. A sort of girls 3 day weekend. Even though we’re both married I’m not going until I can afford the drive & a hotel I don’t wanna be sleeping in her house while her husband is there. No misunderstandings!!
I'm single, retired, empty nester (of four!) and have been totally on my own for well over a decade . I noticed the same thing. But sometimes, I think it's been the women's nonsupportive, domineering, controlling, selfish, jealous-type, a-hole husbands who have made them end their friendship with me because they fear their wives might change, become more empowered, learn about self love, do things they love (whether with or without their spouse/partner) and leave their sorry asses! 😜
52 and just...done. Done with bad relationships that go nowhere, done with awkward "talking" phases that amount to zilch, done with friends who invalidate how I feel, just...done.
Yep done with being used also but I like being alone much easier and peaceful
Ditto! Well said
@@Tee-cl6dcme to done with being used!
Me too
63 yrs old here and no "friends" by choice. Never had any, never wanted any. "Friends" are overrated, needy and filled with drama. For the record, you have the wrong impression of introverts. Introverts are often incredibly social, don't confuse it with being shy. We just derive our energy and peace from looking inside our own heads, not from interactions with other people.
I am SO grateful for your videos. If I hear one more pseudo-psychologist claim "you'll live 15-20 years longer if you have a large circle of friends..." I'll puke. I've learned to love my time with myself. I'm actually a pretty cool person ;-)
I got a puppy! He is awesome and now I’m never alone or bored. He’s loyal and sweet and so funny.. I like him better than people
I think your topic has hit a nerve. I am not surprised that there are so many people living alone and do not have any friends. Particularly as you age it is harder to make friends. Keep up the great topics
Thanks for sharing!!
It's tough to be a loner sometimes but it's also the safest way to live. People can bring all kinds of toxicity to our lives. It seems to be more true today than it was decades ago.
Women over 50 (or Gen X) with no good friends is becoming an epidemic.
We have to be there for each other!!!!!
I have wanted to start a group or something but then I stop and worry because I don’t know what the hell I am doing!!
I just KNOW something has to be DONE.
All these smart, lovely women with so much to give are an amazing resource!!!!
People of every possible age group are experiencing dangerous loneliness. Teenagers report the most loneliness in the US. 20 - 30 yr olds are the 2nd greatest group. Older women have no monopoly on loneliness. Many, many people are lonely all over the world. ❤️
I’m 60 and alone for first time. Not sure it’s worth it anymore. Probably why there’s a housing shortage in the world. People just want to be alone, especially after being married to narcissistic partners for years.
i'm at a point where i'm really good in my life, emotionally, financially. I don't feel the need for people just to take up my time and space. I only hang with people who enchance my life. :) so I'm alone, and I LOVE it, but if I need interaction I can just go out and talk to people too, it's enough for me! lol
I'm very happy with my own company & with my imaginary friends 😁
😊
Me too! Love my imaginary buddies 😄
❤❤
Hi Wendy. I'm in my 60s and have never married with no children. I've been an introvert all my life, and I spend 95% of my time alone. I enjoy crossword puzzles, anagrams, listening to music or podcasts, reading, and watching classic movies and TV shows. I'm also fortunate to live in an area with local parks and go on nature walks.
Idk, I’m 73 & perfectly happy being alone, just me & my dog & don’t miss the drama of having friends
Some of us just don’t like other people in general. Too many bad experiences in life. I’ve fully embraced being a loner at 45. I get my fill of people at work. I look forward to the weekends with just me, myself, and the dog. 👍
If you have a dog you already have best friend 😊
I am 37 and I have no friends, not married and no children(except my cats). I feel like people in general just want to use you for whatever they can and when you need it it's never there. The quality of people has just changed. Very few people are honest anymore. Everything is full of drama. I pray for younger generations bc who knows how bad it will get. We live in a world where it's a total mess. Government is controlled by money and 75 percent of us are broke and or starving. It's just sad. Imagine if all of us good hearted people got together. It's almost like the world is pushing us to stay alone and home where it's safe
I also agree. It’s sad that it is so hard to find authentic friendships.
@stevo6891I dumped a long time friend for that reason and a few others. She never had time for me when I would call her to talk so, when I let her go, I realized I didn’t miss her because there really was no emotional connection to our friendship!
Yes! Totally agree with you.❤
@stevo6891 Sorry to hear that. I don’t have a good relationship with my two brothers either. I’m single with no kids; they are both married with kids. I used to help my older brother out with money because they were always broke. I helped them for years then woke up to how inconsiderate he and his wife are when a few years back, they didn’t even bother to send me a Christmas card and thought it was no big deal after all I had done for them. I cut them off after that and have a very stilted relationship with them…I don’t hate them but I don’t like them very much! I don’t even have their names or numbers listed in my phone. If anything happened with me, I would not be contacting them to let them know; so I get what you were saying. Family can be the pits!
I'm 53 and have no friends. When I worked I had work friends but not friends in general. I'm introverted but not to an extreme. I do enjoy alone time. I'm horrible at small talk. It can be very lonely sometimes. Thank goodness I have three dogs ❤
I have similar experiences . I do work still - from home but I have one “ work “ friend in another state and we talk on the phone sometimes . I’m mildly introverted i suppose, I prefer quiet time at home - I have two dogs and a cat and my grandkids visit about once a month which is great . Kids don’t do small talk . ☺️
@@dj_1969 I wish all of us lived closer so we could be friends! It's almost impossible to make friends as a 53 yr old homebody.
54 no friends but 2 small dogs :) we r not alone many of us out there! :)
Hey VCotten, do you have Whatsapp?!
One of the best ideas I have is learning the keyboard. I don't have friends. I am 66 and love being my own friend. I haven't met anyone in my life who is a better friend than me. If I had learned this earlier in life, I would have saved myself alot of misery.
I'm an introvert living in the middle of a city. No friends, but damn I like hanging with myself :)
Right there with ya!
Same here. I recently realized that the happiest I have ever been, has been when I am by myself and not in a relationship.
Yes, Gen X here. No friends at all. Husband very busy with work, so I'm alone 98% of the time! Grown daughter also very busy in life. I have my two tiny doggies and that really helps a lot. I just haven't ever found a friend that I click with so-to-speak. I don't do drama, I can't deal with folks with zero common sense, no drugs or alcoholics, etc. I'm just a person who loves Jesus, animals, nature, historic places, outdoor activities and exploring wonderful places. Why in the world it's been impossible to connect with someone like me I have no idea!
I’m 52 and have no friends and I’m good with that.
I like to take art classes, volunteer, go to the local theatre and to food and wine festivals. I take road trips in my area, no more than 3 hours. I go to festivals, theatre, museums and the beach.
I also like to read, listen to music, do puzzles and paint by numbers.
You sound like the kind of friend I'd love to do things with. I'm 53 but I am in Australia ❤
You sound so fun! Good for you
53. No friends either. I miss having camping buddies. Been hurt too many times by humans so I prefer 2b alone.
I do *almost* prefer no friends probably because I'm an introvert. I literally live in my truck out in the woods. I know sounds weird but I love it. I do have a best friend and I see her here and there but I'm cool doing stuff solo.
I do feel horrible for those that don't want to be solo and it turns to loneliness, there seems to be more and more of that these days. Thank you Wendy for addressing this. 🥰
Your lifestyle sounds tranquil :) xo
You're not alone. You would be surprised how many people in the world today feel the same way. Keep going. Love from a loner in Ireland 🇮🇪❤️
I think as we get older we seek solitude, friends are great but being alone with yourself gives you peace of mind. I feel….
I am 53 and have no friends, I have had a few friends. But everyone of them have shown their true colors and I don't need the drama...
I totes understand yr situation.Been there. I'm a lone wolf too, am spiritual, and very happy, at peace. Wishing you unlimited blessings, peace, harmony, love. 🙏💃🙌🤗
I can't deal with the drama anymore, either! Most people seem to have so many serious emotional problems, and I don't have the energy or the willingness to deal with it anymore. I'm almost 60, and I'm TIRED!
I’ve always felt that friends require way too much care and feeding. That’s how I put it anyway.
yo, im 52, and been living the isolated/single life for 7 years now. Thanks for making these videos. it's nice to know, I'm not an outlier. 💌
Yeah I am doing that. Just have a hard time with retaining female friendships. Goes well for a while and then the group just implodes. I sort of just feel like giving up. So going to concentrate on my own things and not worry about any deeper friendships anymore
Forgotten middle child in a forgotten decade. 57 no friends but NOT complaining. Tried marriage, tried clubs and societies, nope, I like my own company too.
I think Wendy has a good channel here with amazing people to share this phenomenon. So many extroverts make the mistake of labeling introverts as people who do not like people which is usually far off the mark. I think we are simply able to exist alone when others will stay in terrible relationships either for MONEY or to NOT BE ALONE.
I am 67 years old and what I have learned in life about people are 2 things they are very hurtful and they always love to give you advice on their opinion on things and honestly I am so tired of it ! I raised 3 children as a stay at home Mom and have always been there for them but 2 out of the 3 have been extremely hurtful to me , when it comes to my own flesh and blood being like this too then I feel like I have had it , I am the type of person that would rather die then hurt anyone and I really am disgusted.
I’m so sorry to hear about how your children treat you. Sending a virtual hug.
Thank You So Much!
I thought I was the only one without friends. I want friends but I’m shy, I’ve had some really horrible friends in the past so I’m cautious now when making friends. I hate drama & negative people & it’s hard to find positive people. I’ve gotten used to being alone & do enjoy it. Drama free zone😊
I totally relate to this bubbles. Best to detach from the trauma narcs and there are more and more of these people who actually can sniff out empaths and goodness to FEED off of. I used to live in Minnesota and women there are passive aggressive I could write a book. They pay to play and stab there fellow females in the back, I moved and have never been happier.
I am not saying there are not ANY women with kindness is MN but there are about 50 (mean narc) to 1.
Same❤
Hi, how are you ? 😊
@@sarahwoodward4470 good! You?
I’m 62 and my only friends are from childhood and don’t live close. I’ve made some friends but end up distancing myself from them for various reasons, but it’s usually because they are so self absorbed and it drains me.
I hear you, lots of emotional vampires out there, they trauma dump.
Hi 67 year old from Scotland. No children by choice. No extended family either. Have friends but perhaps being an only child, I love my own company. Being content in your own company is one of the greatest virtues you can foster. Sometime or other you will be on your own so the sooner you learn to enjoy it the better in my opinion. My constant companion is my 14 year of standard poodle who I adore. Dogs have been the biggest love of my life together with music and reading. I’m in a book group. My tip would be to read outside your comfort zone. Many great authors have fallen out of fashion but its some of the best literature you’ll ever read. By the way Rick Beto is on you tube interviewing Christopher cross. His channel is fantastic for us music buffs of a certain age.
It’s not necessarily bad that people don’t have friends. A true friend is rare. Believe me. I know. Been there, done that. It’s all good.
I’d rather be alone then have toxic, petty, gossipy friends that bad mouth u while smiling to ur face. As soon as u help them with their problems & struggles they disappear. It’s almost impossible to find genuine, honest, humble, kind friends that r also loyal & will not betray u. I’ve lost some good friends that died from cancer & coworkers that I thought were friends never heard from again after losing my job. My husband also died from cancer & bc I’m no longer a couple, never heard from our friends again. I’ve moved around a lot but I never look for friends, I do talk to ppl at stores & neighbors but never make plans. I don’t trust ppl & I’m just too tired & don’t care to start friendships only to get hurt so my 2 cats r my family.
I can totally relate
Speaking the truth ❤
YES!
I can relate. I had a coworker who I thought was a friend. I guess she was a frenemy. Before I retired, she was sabotaging me from finishing up a big project that I had been working on. She sarcastically asked if I wanted a retirement party, and laughed when I was telling her something that had been in the news. She laughed and said she didn't want to use the words (conspiracy theorist). Now that news item is making waves. After I retired, she would contact me but only to report gossip about me.
Most Humans are so disappointing I think it’s Americans tho
I have dogs and they are the best company. We rescued each other.
Get a dog. That's all the friend you'll ever need. You have a companion who's fun, gets you to exercise , loves you and wants to share everything with you. It works for me because I don't trust people. I had a bad childhood and it affected my ability to get close to people.
So true.
And maybe if you want to find other like minded people a dog park is a great place for you and your dog to hang out for as long or little time you want... Dog parks are great socializing spaces... For your dog... and you... ❤
@@ZiggZagg11 Great suggestion. I want to connect with people and dog people in my experience are usually very nice.
@@47280 I was at the dog park today and there was a guy that I would say that we are 100% opposite... He was being vocal and everything he was saying I was completely against... But, hay... he had a dogs and the dogs were nice (they actually come to Me for a rub and lick)... I let the guy spew his hatred without interruption... And after my dog was tired... we left... good time... 😎
@@ZiggZagg11 Too bad one person can spoil the vibe.
I live by myself in the country . I love it . I have my two dogs , and my work . I would like to have a close friend to do somethings with .
I am a talker . I love deep conversation. I do not want a partnership or lover . Just burned on that stuff . I love being outdoors .
I also prefer to be alone. I retired 3 years ago and had my fill of people and work drama. I'm never bored and stay busy with my hobbies.
new subscriber here :) wow i can relate to everything you say, it's very interesting,
Wow, I'm actually not alone. Class of '85
Class of '88 here!
I have found that people take an instant dislike of me before they even get to know me...which I find very very upsetting ... I realised at an early age that people just didn't like me... I became a recluse because of this ... I get very jealous of people who have loads of friends without even having to try very hard... they have no idea just how lucky they are... I have even considered killing myself because of being constantly rejected ... I'm not a nasty person , I'm a good neighbour, person and it breaks my heart that I have been treated this way most of my life.
Peace be with you. ❤
I have this experience a lot with people. And I attribute most of it to the ADHD. I'm outspoken ,get loud sometimes and women get jealous.also sometimes I say things they don't like because of the ADHD.its very hard.mostly I try to make friends with older gentleman that seem to understand me better.
I highly doubt that it's as bad as you seem to think it is. Nobody has loads of friends, they just pretend they do.
I have a friend who said the exact same thing to me most of our lives. She is friendly , nice and but did suffer from childhood abuse but not the typical kind, and was not popular in school and had a weight problem. I found her to be beautiful inside and out side, I found her to be nice, kind and just pleasant to be around. In her case I would say the turn off to people she meets is they feel or sense or feel her depression or her anger at her situation. I am not sure how to word it right. It's like they won't give her a chance because they sense her moods or her trials in life?? She too gets very jealous and feels insecure the same as you mentioned. Just want you to know that you're not alone. Praying that you find someone whom you can feel at ease and who will except you and love you. It's not you it is not my friend.. people can be just weird for many reasons. as I told my friend maybe thes epeople would not be healthy for her. I am sorry but please keep putting yourself out there.. Praying for better people to enter your life who can see you for the person you are.
Being a single lady can be hard because wives don't want their husbands around you and single men can't understand that they aren't God's Gift, so you can't be friends and must avoid them.
The No Friends Club. I'd join
All great ideas! I purchased some albums this weekend, including Crosby, Stills, & Nash and Donna Summer. I used to go hiking by myself but it has gotten too dangerous. I worry about getting lost, hurt, ambushed, etc. I do take day trips to the shore but, honestly it is a little lonely. I like being by myself the majority of the time but there are times I want to have deep conversations or not worry about finding someone to bring me to the hospital for procedures. I’m 54 as well (born in 1969) and I don’t want to grow old and die with no one by my side. 🥺
I know exactly how you feel. Same here too.
I feel the same way as you. There’s no one who has my back. The friends that I did have had husbands. I just didn’t fit in. I would like to get a dog, but I still work and with an hour commute at a minimum each day. It’s very difficult. I keep saying that God will see me through this.
Crosby, Stills and Nash!! Don’t forget Young! Lol Remember when you would have friends over just to spin records and just enjoy being in the presence of others! The 70’s and 80’s were not bad…
Hi Wendy...great topic! I'm 66, never married (prince charming was rather elusive!), no kids, and recently retired. I had quite an active social life in my 20's/30's but became more of a homebody as I aged. Being an only child I learned at a young age how to entertain myself when playmates weren't around, so now that I'm older I find I prefer my alone time/solitude. I used to love taking solo road trips to western NC (I live in north Ga)...my favorite was spending time up in Blowing Rock, exploring the Blue Ridge Pkwy and Grandfather Mtn, hiking to Linville Falls (gorgeous), and checking out the local art galleries. Sadly, it's no longer safe for anyone (especially women) to go hiking alone, so I will now content myself with walking in local parks. Many years ago I started taking jewelry classes at local beading shops (most are now closed) so now that I'm retired I will happily resume that hobby (TH-cam has TONS of beading tutorials...so many talented artists/designers out there). I also love reading, adult coloring, exploring thrift shops, knitting and spending time with my sweet mom (especially since my dear dad recently passed). Future goals are to learn watercolor painting, crochet, and volunteering at our local animal shelter (LOVE the fur babies!). Retirement is such a blessing...it's wonderful having so much free time to explore different interests and hobbies! Have a safe and happy 4th of July!
I think you will find a friend or two if you start volunteering at that animal shelter.
The 80's was The Best!!!! I'll be 55 in September and no friends! I do not miss all the drama, lies etc from so called friends! I too am old school! The only "social media" I do is YT! I Love hand feeding the birds and squirrels on my front porch! I love going to thrift stores... Books books & more books (i prefer holding an actual book & turning the page's), i look for bottles, bowls etc to repot my succulent plants, and of course, 80's music cds. I cut vines & twist & weave them, let them dry out, then turn them into beautiful wreaths, natural habitats for bird & squirrel houses etc, I do the same with pine straw & sticks! I lost my BF of 24 yrs to cancer, (Dec will be 13yrs ago). I miss her everyday! A TRUE FRIENDSHIP, we considered ourselves sisters! When we had differences of opinions, we were Never disrespectful Never. We would both explain (never interrupted when the other was speaking & we Whole Heartedly Listened) our point of view of the matter and if we still disagreed we would laugh and agree to diasgree...done appreciation, respect and love for each other Won every single time! Im Very Blessed to have had 24yrs of a true friendship and as an only child, very cool to have been able to choose my sister! Jan had 9 siblings..yes 9 and not one if them to help her during her illness! IF they drove her to get a chemo treatment, they demanded gas $ and $for lunch!!!🤬 So I did it, no charge! I was the one with her when she passed, that was what she wanted, she said i was the only one who could keep her calm! She was the only "friend" my husband ever liked out of all i had ever had...he Loved her as much as I did, she loved his gumbo and she always called him brother in law versus his name, he loved that! My husband has always been an extreme introvert, she made him laugh and she made him be chatty with her it was wonderful. My children are grown with their own families, my husband and i are homebodies, although webused to go out for dinner once every weekend, but he no longer likes to do that. Yes, i do get lonely and depressed but todays society is crazy and my trust in ppl is gone (from the draining toxic drama ppl i put had put up with throughout my life; I put all the toxic ppl on the road and am Better for it!) My Daddy always told me, if you have 1 true good friend during your whole lifetime, you are a very lucky person (there will never be another Janice and im so thankful i had her!) Thank you for creating these Wonderful video's they are a Blessing! Reading the comments are a Blessing to me as well! Love and Peace to All
I So Enjoyed reading your post! Such a lovely story ❤!! Janice was very blessed to have your friendship as well!!!
@@debbiejohnson7758 Thank you so very much Debbie! Your reply blessed my heart and Happy tears flowed. Thank you for appreciating & honoring our friendship❣️ I hope you have a beautiful weekend🌻🌼💛
I walk in nature , i fees birds and squirrels , i do some crafts , i like to take long drives in the country ( wish i could move to the country ). Love that i found your channel. I have no friends but i do go out and shop im ok being alone 😊😊😊
I'm in UK. I think you tube is great for taking away the feeling of loneliness. Without interaction on the Internet and social media I'd be lonely. People don't talk about it. Thank god I have my hobbies because that also stops loneliness and depression.
This is definitely related to Gen Xers. Yes, we're the forgotten generation. People go right from talking about Baby Boomers to talking about Millennials. Uhm, hello, I'm over here and I'm alive.
Yes.
I love that you make the distinction between friends and acquaintances. I am 53 with multiple acquaintances, but almost no friends. I prefer alone time and peace. Perhaps it is my age, but I like doing what I want, on my own terms.
Thank you...I'm 66 and all my friends are either married or still working and I'm struggling. I retired at 65 and kind of lost. I live in a small town and there isn't a lot to do. I go to church, I volunter at the Senior Center to deliver meals...I'm trying but that is it. Depression and anxeity are taking over and I don't want to let it win.
I enjoy spending time with my horse, going to the casino to play slots, taking community college classes, and absolutely yes to going to the library! I am not avoiding making friends but enjoy these activities so much that I really don't miss human company while busily absorbed in them!
Hi my name is Kate but I use my husband account lol, you popped up on my phone today and I have watched 3 of your vlogs, I am 56 years old and I live in England 🇬🇧, I have so many things in common with you,I haven't had any friends for years, I can't have children and most women where I live make friends at the school gates and sports things, baby groups, so I never fitted in also when you don't have children people find you abit odd .I was single for years and everyone seemed to be married, I found women don't want to invite a attractive single woman into their lives lol,I always had lots of people to talk to at work and neighbours but I was always on the outside looking in,I than met my husband who I am sure is heaven sent because we have so many things in common and I have never been loved so much in my life ❤, I am very lucky to have him but when he is working I spend alot of time on my own, I am use to it but think it would be nice to have a friend, I think you are a lovely lady and I hope you met someone special one day, I was listening to you talk about your love of music 🎶 and I think you would be great at hospital radio, you love music and you have a nice way of talking, good luck lovely lady from Kate 🇬🇧 😊❤
Some suggestions from a lake guy, .
Im 62, and I've been retired two whole weeks!, .
So now im alone, -all the time!
I love flea markets, and antique malls, so those are built-in road trips. ..I like restoring antiques, and repurposing flea market finds,
So generally, if i have a project, im happy,
I dont mind my own company, but it does get a little lonely at times.
My Dad gave me a love for the lake, so I moved to big water, .on Grand lake in Oklahoma,
I live in a little lakefront community. I bought a mobile home- (on purpose.) things are a little volatile on the planet right now, .so you need to be flexible, nothing spells flexible like having axles under your house!
I dont care for bars, I dont drink anymore, haven't for 20 years, (my experience is that chemicals dont make good decisions.) Ive never been in a casino in my life, theres nothing there I want,
Someone invited me to 'Happy hour' . that they started @ Grove, but instead of invading a bar somewhere, people gather at the local Brahms,- from 4pm to 6 ish'. And eat ice-cream!, And its 'happy hour'! People sit around and talk, and eat ice cream and its great fun!
❤
I have acquaintances lots of them but I have no friends, I’m 55 years old I have a puppy who gives me unconditional love.❤ I like your show it makes me feel I’m not alone anymore.
I got a puppy too and he’s awesome. Sweet loving and loyal❤️
You actual have great social skills. I feel like you’re with your listeners! Also I like that you are busting the myth that being alone is a disease. It’s only a disease if you’re ill at ease inside.
I’m 60,I’m divorced happily for 20 years. I’ve always been very social but the last few years it’s been hard to make friends. It gets lonely. I tried the senior center ad everyone was so sad and depressed, no one wanted to socialize. I’m alone a lot of the time. I spend my time daydreaming of the 70s,wishing I was a teen again ad could go home to the house I grew up in and our neighborhood,where everyone knew one another.
Are you me, cause thats exactly how I feel
I'm 65, that's me for sure, Gina!
@@paulinepaterson5918we come from a different generation where people really cared and appreciated everything and everyone. A generation with a desire and appreciation to make things the best as they could be. Most of all we valued one another and enjoyed one another. I remember my parents always having company, mostly unannounced. Our door was never locked. Today you wouldn’t just show up at someone’s house or them at yours. This seems to be the isolation generation. People are scared, they don’t trust, they don’t want to connect, they don’t seem to care about anything.. Society is kind of nuts ,maybe it was and we didn’t constantly hear about it like we do today. Obviously something changed in people. I’m hoping those of us that would like to , could do some kind of weekly online meet up on TH-cam, to share our thoughts and ideas about dealing with loneliness.
@@ginah8023 Just turned 61. I feel exactly the same way. Same life circumstances. Divorced 17 years, Just lost my mom who was my best friend, both grown children doing great but not around. I've always had male friends but girls are so difficult LOL I would love to have a female friend to chat with.
@@dina_b I lost my mom 2 years ago. Kids are grown successful and have their own families, they don’t seem to be interested in anything to do with family . I get an occasional text maybe once a year, and they live close by. I’ve tried reaching out many times and the don’t answer at all. I even had to have a serious surgery, again no response. I gave up, I gave up and figure if they want to make contact they will. There’s never been any kind of argument and they say they had a good childhood ,so I guess it’s just a different generation. I got a surprise call today from a male friend, just a friend never anything more.he asked me to go to lunch and the movies. It was nice. I’m trying to appreciate the small things.
I am 67 and have no friends. I am disabled and my husband died 5 years ago, no kids. Most of the time I prefer to be alone with my cat. The church thing did not work for me; neither did meetup. I love to read and do logic puzzles. One thing I discovered recently is solo board games--I never knew they existed! There are many different types, and TH-cam has videos showing how to play. Some of them are so small I can play them on a lapdesk. Recently I also discovered solo journaling games, where you write as part of the game. There is even a website where you can play board games solo or letting others join.
Best wishes that everyone finds someone/something to contribute to their happiness/contentment!
Thank you for being open about the fact that church and meetup groups did not work out for you - they're not for everyone. Hope you continue to find things to bring you joy.
I have found some good groups of women in my area on Facebook. But it is definitely hard to connect. I had no idea it would be like this. Curious about the solo board games
@@karmasutra4774 TH-cam has channels devoted to just solo gaming, including instructions on how to play. If you have a store near you that sells games, they will be able to point you to games you might like. They might have games you can rent, and tables where you can play. Best of luck!
Love board games, but my gamers have passed, so haven't in years...I've never heard of this! Thanks for sharing this!
I would rather spend FIVE MINUTES with someone who has kind words to say than FIVE YEARS with someone who can no longer find any !!
There is a stigma about being alone, even if you prefer it, especially at times like christmas, birthdays, new year, valentine's. Knowing there are so many others out there who are exactly the same has to help. It's a psychological and emotional impact to know you're not weird, you're not alone in being alone, you're not abnormal, you haven't failed, you haven't done anything wrong. I wrote a long comment in your other video but i never put it on there because i felt its none of my business. But in short i believe you are now making exactly the right kind of videos for this time in our history. There's so many isolated people out there. I have friends but not really in my own country and right now im not travelling due to the cost. I don't see anybody. Im over 50 too and a man. I look out of the window on my night off and i think, 'Do i really want to go out there?' And mostly i don't. I do sense that people are tired of fakery and lies.They are tired of being lied to by their families, by the media, by so-called authority figures who are nothing of the sort, including doctors. Old-school people are being marginalised by the mainstream right now as they push through an agenda to de-humanize humanity, to make nature a dirty word, to make fun of honesty, integrity and decency. People are getting mad now. But so many are depressed, isolated and on meds. So do not ever underestimate how much of an impact a 10 minute honest video with integrity can have on someone who is being marginalised and who feels like an alien now on their own planet.If you're consistent with your videos, you will grow your own little community. God bless you. Regarding getting out of depression/isolation, i would say to people don't put pressure on yourself to solve it all overnight....little steps, one thing at a time to add to or remove from your life...the 1st question people could ask themselves is what makes them happy or what used to make them happy. And if it's not possible to do it alone then think about if they want to do something physical or more cultural or emotional. What kind of healing or personal expression do they need. So it could be anything from walking in the trees, going to museums, joining a gym, collecting something they like, doing something creative to express what is inside them, like writing or sculpture or painting, learning an instrument and writing songs, going on daytrips to different areas just to get out of the room or the emptiness. People can do all those things alone while still being around people in most of them. I think we need contact without necessarily being IN contact. So even going to different kinds of markets or carboot sales gets you around people without having to join a group. And there's so many, you could go to a different one every week or month in a different town. I know someone who is 60 and does this. I think if a person is not working it's important to try to make at least one day a week different from all the others in a special way. Even if it's just walking on the beach then getting a takeaway and watching a movie or just baking a cake or making bread to see how it turns out. Have that one day if that's all you can afford and it will give you something to look forward to as well as breaking up the monotony of same thing every day. Some kind of physical exercise releases chemicals in the blood that make us feel better and doing that also will help people to sleep.
Thanks for the viewpoint!!!!! I'm 54, "LONE WOLF" 4 years strong, 2 years sober (from alcohol), and more than ok with it!!!! Yeah, I miss having a "close friend" to confide in or have fun with, go fishing, whatever!? But, I broke my neck in 2014 FROM FALLING OUT OF BED!/ 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬and became PERMANENTLY DISABLED!?!? Naturally, I no longer could do the FUN THINGS WE DO ON MAUI!!!!!! I didn't move to an ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN cause I love watching TV!!!?!!? So, to say I "lost my zest for life", you'd be UNDER EXAGGERATING!!? 😂😂 It is good to know that there's A LOT of THINGS US OUT(inside)THERE!!!!!! STAY STRONG, BROTHER!!!!!!! 🤙🤙🤙🤙🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🤤🤤🤤
Thankyou so much I feel like you wrote this for me
I 've been sober 31 years and it's the best thing I ever did
Great overall comment and suggestions! 😏👍
I’m 52. I have a couple of friends, but hardly ever see them, so I spend most of my free time doing things alone. I’m married but my husband doesn’t like doing the same things as me, so he goes and does his thing and I go and do my thing. I roller skate, go to the movies, go to concerts alone, go for walks, go shopping. Stuff like that.
"To each his own!" Live, love, be happy and be at peace!! God bless you and keep you!!!
I just found your channel yesterday and I feel like I found my long lost soul sister! When you held up an Agatha Christie book I busted out laughing. AC has been my favorite author since I read Murder on the Orient Express when I was in high school, and that was almost 40 years ago. I also live alone but I rarely feel lonely. I have a dog and three cats for daily company. My best (and only) friend lives about an hour away across the border in Ohio so we only see each other once a month or so but we talk weekly. We have been friends for 30+ years. She is 12 years older than I am but we just clicked from the first time we met and have been there for each other through the good times and the bad times ever since.
Murder on the Orient Express is my favorite AC story!!
I don’t fit in anywhere I don’t drink or smoke anything. I’ve gotten used to being alone. Yes sometimes it gets lonely sometimes I like it and then I don’t.
I think it's so sad that so many of us really don't have a good friend. I am content with my alone time but it sure would be nice for all of us to have some one. We moved around a lot so I was never able to form lasting friendships. I do envy those ladies who have someone they have known their whole life
I'm middle age as well. Never been married, no kids. I do have a few friends though we almost never go out together and I am perfectly fine with that. I gave up many years ago looking for a soulmate. When I'm not working my day job, I spend my time growing plants and trees which I find to be very therapeutic! I very much enjoy nature. We don't have to have a lot of friends to have a good life!!! In most cases, I'm simply too busy to go out...
Thank you!!!! Yes I totally get it!!! I’m 56 and have no friends at all. Like you, I chose to be this way. No, I’m not an introvert, but I do like to be alone 99% of the time also! You make me feel normal! I am the only person I know like me!!!
I am so glad that you are doing this channel! I like to garden, I grow my own veggies, knit, sew and like to go to the gym. I also like to go camping.
You are EXACTLY RIGHT about our generation being the forgotten generation. I have grown kids, however they are too busy to check in or call me. So I just enjoy myself doing whatever I do, and if they ever wake up and realize they might want to check in with me, I’ll be here.
I'm 52 female married no kids by choice. I haven't had any friends for a decade. In my 20s and 30s I went against my natural hard-wiring and pretty much forced myself to be much more social than I wanted - due to society's expectations and because I thought maybe there was something wrong with me if I didn't. I did not learn about introversion until a few years ago. Sure I'd heard of it, but always thought it basically meant being shy, which I'm not. But when I learned the true definition, it blew my mind because it describes me to a "T". My husband is my only friend, and he understands me (he's an ambivert). We do have mutual interests, but we also do our own thing separately which is great for both of us.
Honestly I do not miss having friends at this stage of my life. With the ones I had, female friends to be specific, it was pretty one-sided and I realized I was basically a free therapist for them. Our "friendships" consisted of them calling me and droning on for hours day after day about all their personal drama because I'm a good empathetic non-judgmental listener lol. I found it hard to cut the "conversations" short because I did care about their wellbeing and didn't want to hurt their feelings or add to their stress. It took a few years before I finally woke up and gradually cut them out of my life when it became clear they only liked me because I was supportive and validated their feelings.
A couple of them claimed I was their best friend, but they didn't reciprocate. They were never there for me in a real way when I needed to be heard and understood with whatever was going on in my life, and they would always turn the conversation back to them. 9 times out of 10 I would get together with them for whatever they invited me to, but it did not go the other way around. Another thing I experienced with female friends who are moms (and I get it, most women do have kids - we are, after all, biologically programmed to reproduce lol) is they talk about their kids, A LOT. And truly, if I'm someone's friend, I enjoy hearing about it in moderation. But good lord they will monopolize the conversation on that subject. Sorry, but I just can't relate since my husband and I are child-free. We're the cool fun auntie and uncle lol.
I won't talk anyone's ear off if I know a topic is something they express no interest in or can't relate to, and if I've been speaking for a bit I make it a point to ask about them and listen. But others don't do that (my experience at least) and it literally drains, exhausts, and stresses me out.
On the other hand, my experience has been that males are easier and more interesting to talk to. We can talk about all kinds of stuff. By stuff I mean mutually interesting topics, and they don't go on and on about petty dramas or their kids. Yes they might bring those things up once in a while which is completely fine, but my point is they don't monopolize the conversation.
So as I've gotten older I realize I truly love my own company. When I'm alone I have no regrets or second thoughts about it. I actually feel completely at ease that way. Zero stress, no one to get on my nerves and drain me.
During the times I'm alone, I am never lonely or bored. I can read in peace, listen to music, surf the net for hours or watch TV (mostly Seinfeld and The Office reruns, wildlife programs, oh and anything true crime!). I love hiking, working out, spending time with our pets, gardening, wildlife & nature photography - and when I do have the luxury of time, I spend hours editing my photos and videos. I used to volunteer at the local animal shelter but it got to be too much with my crazy work schedule (I want to get back into it in a few years when I retire). Other than YT, I am not on social media since I have no friends lol, but seriously I find it to be mostly shallow, obnoxious, boring, and self-centered. I also enjoy walking around my neighborhood or getting in the car and driving for hours - it really clears my mind and puts me at ease as I listen to all my favorite music, and I always bring my camera and stop wherever it looks interesting. I also do solo out-of-state road trips a couple times a year - my sanity saver as an introvert with a demanding and highly stressful job.
Another thing I realized recently is even though I'm an introvert, I don't mind being around people - like in a restaurant, store, or concert, etc. - as long as I don't have to interact with them. I love just blending in and no one noticing me or looking at me sideways because I'm by myself. It's a very liberating feeling 😎
I feel EXACTLY the same way you do. It was really weird seeing it in print written by somebody else, I must admit. With exception of the road trips and a highly stressful job, we share the same set of circumstances in life. I'm totally fine with it, too. Rock on 👍
@elleo1864 Wow, I really related to what you said about those one-sided relationships! I got tired of being the only one who put any effort into the "friendship". I was always the listener, they were the talker. There was one woman who would literally keep talking for hours on end on the phone, never letting me talk, or ever asking for my viewpoint on anything. Then after 2 hours of listening to her, I would tell her I needed to go, and she would act all offended, as if I was ending the "conversation" too soon! But it wasn't a conversation at all, it was a monologue, with her doing all the talking.
I've experienced too many of these types of so-called "friendships", and I think I attract these types of people because I am a good listener. The thing is, I really care about other people's feelings, but I haven't felt that care reciprocated. So I'm pretty exhausted by now, and feel like it's just easier and more peaceful to be alone!
We should do group zoom calls, get to know all who would like to join and maybe do a mini vacation, meet up somewhere fun.
You have friends. They are just not people you see. “Heart friendship”is something special.
Group Zoom or group FaceTime calls is a really good idea, never really thought of that tbh as a meet and greet.
Yes! Working on that!!
Wendy, you are so cool. We would love to be your friend! We don’t have friends either.😊
My oldest daughter's name is Wendy Marie! ❤ Some other ideas are old fashioned letter writing, canning, decorating, repair, political volunteering, visiting elderly or lonely widows with a plant they can take care of, visiting a nursing home and giving them a simple handmade lavender etc. sachet, Flower Arranging Class, drying or pressing 🌺, scrapbooking or photo albums, cake decorating and giving the cake as your gift, keeping a Diary & pet sitting just to name a few!
I love these suggestions! ❤️
I know I'm out of your age range( I'm 30) but I can definitely relate to your situation. I currently just own my own house, no girlfriend or kids. I used to get depressed over not having true friends; then I realized I'm wasting my potential by being so reliant on other people. You look good and sound like a positive person.
Hope all is well.
Hi Wendy, so glad you popped up on my UT page. Karla, 62 in Oklahoma. I have been a loner all my life. At 62, my daughter is estranged of 4 yrs. We were always so very close. My so called family is no longer family. Since my spinal injury, and not able to work, family disappeared. That’s ok, their loss. But when they needed something, I was the one they all came to. It hurt, but not anymore. I’ve got God!
I started doing adult coloring, loved it. Usually a winter time hobby. I loved loved riding motorcycles, (still have my leathers etc) lol. What I would give to be on a week long riding adventure. I love hiking, but don’t go anymore as like you, I live in a small town with nothing to do. I have my furr baby and go for long walks. Not long enough. Lol.
Anywho, I’m rambling. Thank you so much for putting this out there, as no one talks about such a needed topic to talk about, so thank you. Oh I’m subscribing. Look forward to getting to know you better. My sister(oldest) told me I was too honest. Well, I want friends that will be honest back. I’d rather be hurt with honesty than hurt with a lie.
I’m 45 and, after moving to Florida in 2008, my family and friends are up north in New England. While I’m friendly with some co-workers, I very rarely see them outside of work. Those of us who are putting comments on here should try to set up an instant messaging group, message board, or some Zoom calls. Just a suggestion!😊
@@ChrisBustin13 that is such a good idea
@@karlaharvey2623 Great. Where is a good place to stay in contact?
lol I get the too honest as well, I said what would you prefer me to lie,that's who I am,but most people are fake and i don't like that,so will just be on my own as I only want genuine people to be friends with.
@@annbow4064 that’s me. If you don’t like my honesty, find someone else to be friends with. I hate to say this; but my sister is so fake, it makes me crazy. Lol
I'm a genXer too and find it difficult to meet people. Like you though I can enjoy my own company. I honestly don't miss being a part of the crowd, there's to many fake people. Good video!
Hey Wendy! 54 year old here with no friends, and even an enemy or two :D.
What I think might be a big difference is that these days you're supposed to talk about problems with a therapist, and have a wholesome good time with friends, which wasn't very common 50 years ago. People don't ask friends anymore to help, they call a company. If you ask on facebook if anybody needs a fridge or a toaster there are no takers, they rather buy it than feel like they owe somebody, even an old friend. Greetings from the Netherlands!
Thanks for the ideas! My kids are grown and moved away, then my husband passed away in 2021. I'm alone for the first time in my life. I don't mind being alone most of the time, but I found out that I need to get out and be around people once in a while.
My Mother was my friend "always," and when I had no friends she was always my friend. She taught me long ago that "You're your friend" She was right!
Since around 2001/2002 I have had no friends whatsoever. Acquaintances but no friends. It used to bother me but it has not in such a long time. Better off without fair weather friends or friends that no longer want to be friends or people that do not want friendship. I am comfortable without friends.
Praying God sends good friends your way.
I love going to the mall and people watch. I walk to get some exercise and then sit with a drink to see what other people are doing. I also like to go to an afternoon movie by myself. I'm retired so I take advantage of the senior discounts..
Truth be told, I don’t think that anybody has all of these “friends” that they think they do. Friend is a word we throw around way too loosely, just like the word love. I also believe that the older we get, the fewer “friends” we’ll have (or even want).
How refreshing to hear that we are not all madly social.
Right On. I'm not a Social Butterly. I'm a Ukulele Butterly 🦋
I want friends but can not follow through because I don't feel well most of the time. I only have energy to get through the work day.
I adore cats.
You raised a concern that many won't talk about and is a common circumstance. Perhaps due to embarrassment, or the assumption there is something wrong with us. I'm happy you spoke out.
This video is so relatable it’s sad that the only friends I have are on my TH-cam channel
I blame the internet, social media, our obsession with being glued to our phones. People have forgotten how to communicate the old fashioned way. Single people resort to online dating but don't know how to just approach someone in real life and strike up a conversation. Sad times. I'm also Gen X.
Social media killed socializing, the irony who couldve imagined.
I’m retired and have no real friends close by, those that I have live far away. I’m also a widow. I walk every day in the park. Fortunately it’s close by, maybe 2 miles. I love to walk there, it gives me exercise and clears my mind and helps combat depression. I love music and often I listen and sing and dance. I don’t feel lonely, but sometimes I am alone. Yet, I am thankful for what I have!!
I am okay with being alone. I like it this way, but I do not mind socializing at times.
I prefer having no friends now. I can do what I want, I don't need to be constantly available to everyone (I have a dumbphone, LOVE IT), I can spend my money on myself and I am not burdened with others' problems all the time. The last one is huge. I had no idea how much mental energy other people's stupid, silly drama took out of me. Not major stuff like my mom died or my husband left me but the whole "I heard that so and so said to so and so that so and so
There aren't even enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. I read, write, go for walks, exercise and do lots of arts and crafts. I also love just amassing random knowledge. Thrifting in itself is a hobby, isn't it?
If you only want socialization and not friends, groups where the same few people meet regularly can be really tricky. What tends to happen is that the others do befriend each other and you end up kind of excluded if you don't go to their other meet ups, aren't in their group chats, etc. Or you end up having people expect Christmas presents and the privilege to call you any time to vent.
I know it sounds bad, but I just want to socialize without the obligations. I wasted enough of my time, energy and money on people that dumped me over stupid shit or worse, hurt me deeply. The only person who will be with you all your life and always have your back is YOU. So that is who I will selfishly focus on--ME! I will not live the life someone else wants me to live.
We could so be non friends!
This is so me. I don't mind getting deeper, but it takes time for me to do that and also others are so flakey and gossipy it turns me off. So we just don't make it as friends. I am like you. I want to have a good time with people and share fun experiences. The real life stuff is what we should be taking a break from, so prefer to enjoy it and keep it light. What is your personality style? I just recently realized I am INTJ and the not wanting to get too close is part of that personality. I understand myself better by reading about it
@@karmasutra4774 And the part that always got to me was...after all of the listening to them complain about what Susan at work said and how their husband didn't buy them a more expensive birthday gift...nobody came through when I really needed someone. There was always something else more important.
I agree about the gossipy thing too. I don't care to discuss whether Brenda might be in debt because of all of the stuff she buys. I barely even know Brenda and really, Kathy, you sound jealous. And if you talk about Brenda like that, how do you talk about me when I'm not around? Yeah, I do much better with acquaintances. We can laugh and have a good time together, but I'm not the person you will call to vent or want to depend on.
I'm the Logician (INTP).
I also love my own company and despise petty drama. Also, I am a private person but not shy. I get this. I am a gen-Xer, too.
I'm in the same situation. I just get out a do things by myself and don't wait for other people to ask: hiking, swimming, yoga class, amusement parks, concerts, ball games, museums, movies, basically anything i want.
Going to farmers markets, flea markets, consignment shops and salvage yards of all kinds of cool stuff for my home/yard/property is fun, too!
From my experience people tend to spoil things and pour cold water on happy events. Some of the best things in life you can do alone.
Me too! 55 and no friends. I live alone, and I love it. But I'm an artist, I can entertain myself.
I'm 47, I don't have any friends... I used to. My life kinda fell apart, family with two kids fell apart... now I just live alone. I'm pretty active on the Internet and have a small group of friends... life just didn't work out. It is what it is... as a teenager I was also a loner so, I'm used to it. I feel for people who struggle with loneliness though, it must be rough.
66, no friends, and disabled. Many who are disabled are limited in their activities and have few opportunities, even if they wanted, to make friends. Aside from family, I've learned to be content with being alone because previous attempts at making new friends brought nothing but unwanted drama. Aside from that, I am also completely nocturnal...so most of what I do is at night....and mainly on the computer. I have no interest in making internet 'friends'. The past year I have worked on my genealogy with Ancestry. It's been a fascinating adventure and I hope to be able to provide my history for my sons. For almost 15 years I have watched Korean dramas with English subtitles (they are addicting) and so I am learning the Korean language and culture through dramas and Korean music. I have a list of people I follow on youtube (from around the world) who provide information on a wide array of subjects and I also follow music reaction videos.....I love seeing someone react for the first time to music I love. I watch documentaries about subjects I am interested in and I participate in discussions on political forums. All in all, I am so grateful to have access to just about anything and everything in the world through my computer.
I agree with everything you have said. I'm a male in my late 50s in Minneapolis, MN, USA, and it is just so impossible to make friends here. I have tried everything but nothing works. Yes, I have many acquaintances and know alot of people but they are not friends. Well, the Lord will help us.
Same here. 55 yo female in NYC. Don’t drink, smoke, go to bars, etc. Recently had to leave my church because of false teachings that came in. Trying to meet like minded people, but struggling to find them. Still trying to find a solid church.
@@DepDawg You are not alone in this either. I'm a life-long member of my church but they do absolutely nothing for adult singles over 35 but have plenty of ministries for young adults. These churches just don't want to bother with ministries for middle-aged or senior single adults.
It's obvious you have plenty of hobbies and interests such as reading detective stories, painting, puzzles, gym, music and your cats. It's the human connection that is missing.