Therapist Reacts to Stranger Things
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2022
- Therapist Reacts to Stranger Things //
Were you ever bullied as a child? I was! Watch this video of therapist reacts to Stranger Things Season 4 and bullying.
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"I'll be reacting to this as a therapist."
(shortly)
"Kill 'em with your mind, El!"
😁😁
Haha yes this! Kill her with your mind El!! Yes, loved that. Thanks for that. haha. Cause I am guilty of that too and this is a tv show, but something I would definitely think about in a situation like this, but never act on of course.
The thing that gets to me the most in the classroom scene is that the teacher doesn’t shut Angela down. She gives an admonition but then let’s her go on with her attack. As a child I was let down by the adults around me and it could be a good topic to discuss.
A good friend of mine was let down by one of his favorite teachers as well, it hurt my heart when he told me about it 🥺
My BFF/cohost (we do a podcast about our lives) was bullied by students and teachers alike as a gay kid. The 80s were brutal. (I have a hard time watching teen movies from the 80s because the meaner and homophobic the kids are, the more accurate the movie is!)
I was once let down by a teacher who taught religion. The kid kept throwing small but heavy things at me which actually hurt. The other one kept encouraging him. It was all happening during her lesson and there was literally no way on earth she didn't see. Still haunts me till this day.
Yeah, a student bullied me right in front of the teachers desk and she didn’t do anything about it. Some teachers don’t do a good job of protecting their students.
@Halloween All Year Round as an 80s kid, I can assure you that hard core bullying WAS "a thing". As a 7th grade child in the 1979-1980 school year, I was subjected to non-stop bullying by nearly the entire 7th and 8th grade student bodies. I was tripped, shoved into lockers, slapped, punched, had my homework defaced, had rocks thrown at me, and was even shoved out of my seat on the bus -- and was suspended for that because I defended myself! Perhaps the most egregious incidents were *in front of teachers*. One was in band, with one of the students spitting gum into my hair. The school nurse had to hack off my hair to get it out. The other incident happened in history class. The boy who sat behind me (and used to write and draw on my tops) tapped me on the shoulder and when I turned around, sprayed breath mint into my eyes. In front of the teacher. WHO DID NOTHING. Did the school administration do anything to help? No. In fact, the school principal told me that I had better get used to that sort of behavior because "there's always someone who is 'picked on'" and apparently, I was it.
Thank you for defending Mike. People are so harsh on him when he’s literally just a teen who struggles to express his true feelings.
Exactly, people expected him to act more mature than most adults. He has his own feeling to deal with too, and he is so scare to lose El.
you is not about this scene in particular, right? people are mad with mike because he likes to pretend that he doesn't know his bestfriend is gay (even tho he used this against him once) and likes to pretend that he doesn't know will is in love with him. please, he knows. and he pretends and he doesn't care. he can't even talk about it even when he sees that's destroying will. why do you think he couldn't even hug will? he never had a problem before in season 1 and 2. mike knows will is in love with him since season 3. and that's why people are annoyed with him.
@@jaymahealinski Where’s the proof he “knows”?
@@jaymahealinski the actor has confirmed that Mike doesn't know Will loves him. It's canon that he is unaware of Will's feelings.
I was so happy about that.
In my opinion, Vecna is a chilling metaphor for battling against PTSD, addiction, anxiety or depression, and getting through it with the help of your loved ones. He preys on your fears and insecurities, getting you right where it hurts.
but then something therapeutic like music that increases serotonin can be used to fight Vecna or at least stall him and block him out for a while. The Differ Brothers are very clever. Also who wouldn't be healed listening to Kate Bush. It's Kate Bush.
As someone who’s dealt with depression and still kinda does, I always felt like Max’s Running Up That Hill moment felt like someone fighting their hardest against and trying to come out of depression, or more accurately, a particularly low depressive episode. That scene brought me to tears.
@@luciacuevas611 I cry every time I watch it. It’s so powerful.
Absolutely. It’s so clear to me, even in some of the phrases he says like the “It’s time for your suffering to end”, he only targets people that feel immense guilt, and even the music thing, music is one of the few things that really helps people dealing with these types of issues. I also love how they made it so that Max had to safe herself, she needed people around her, she needed her friends to support her and they gave her the tools, but ultimately she was the one who had to fight for her life.
@@valeriam6248 I do relate with listening to music while one's depressed. I have used it as a coping mechanism many times, and I definitely love Running Up A Hill, it's such a beautiful song and I love Kate Bush as well.
I was SO triggered by Angela. So much about her reminded me of very specific girls I went to school with. Awful, AWFUL people. The kind of meanness that made me keep to myself as much as possible.
Also, I was class of ‘87 and I happened to go to high school in both a big city in California and a small town in Texas and I love letting people know that Stranger Things NAILED how different regions could be so different in terms of fashion. Moving to Texas was like going back in time! For the first time in my life I had new fashionable clothes and I saw going to a new school as my one chance to be cool, but all I ended up being was that weird girl who wore weird clothes that nobody understood.
Omg that's so fascinating to see someone in the fandom who's actually lived it!!
I think that's why ST is so popular...reunites people from all ages and the stories and metaphores are timeless. Many of us have been that "weirdo" with different clothes. As an adult is easier don't care about that but during elementary and high school...it's a big deal. We have to interact with those people for many years, we just wanted to be part of something. I started caring less about this until I became an adult but I wish I could understand this before.
I can't watch Angela's scenes. They're too painful. I cried the first time, and won't watch them again.
I went from a school in Japan wearing Japanese fashion to a small town in southern Indiana. I wore a typical school outfit for Japan to school the first day of school and immediately got called a hooker by another student cause I wore a skirt, knee highs and a cardigan. Haven't worn a short skirt since that first day in 6th grade. If I had the balls El did I'd also take a roller skate to my bully's faces tbh
Me too, that is… How dare she talk to her that way!! Jane is talking about a person who is very , very dear to her and his name and what he did is and will eventually become a part of history and I watched a little bit of the show with my sister a long time ago, but I do know that Jane had a very tough time before she met Hopper and the two of them cared for each other so deeply and for Angela to treat Jane that way makes me beyond furious because she is hurting Jane by attack her and someone who is so dear to her and that is worthy of either a stern and angry talking to and a punch in the face from me!!Angela is the worst, I cannot believe what she did to Jane and the way she talked about Hopper, I despise her kind!
"Who came up with the idea that feces could be sanctified?" LMAOOOO
It’s heartbreaking but I like how they really show how much of Eleven’s life has just been violence and very little existing around others. So when she loses control she goes all the way and actually hurts someone instead of thinking it through. The roller skate isn’t the first time she tries to hurt Angela, she just didn’t have her powers when she lost control at school.
I think that scene is slightly undercut by the fact that El has done violence to bullies before, and it was framed as a badass moment. Also she's KILLED faceless soldiers who probably had families and loved ones, who were just doing their job. Yes she's usually responding in kill or be killed situation but not always.
I guess the difference here is that this time it's personal for her but I don't know... to me it's just feels like show is telling me that superhero violence = awesome and badass, normal human violence = psychotic. Is there really a difference?
@@atinity6749 You bring up an interesting point, I hadn't thought of that.
@@atinity6749 You answer your own question, though. Do those faceless soldiers have families? Yeah, they probably do, but that isn't a normal situation. Sticking gunmen on literal children and teens isn't normal, not even when they're superpowered. The fact that this scene lingers while others didn't is because it's an abnormal reaction in a normal situation. Angela doesn't have a gun, the worst she can do is give hurtful remarks or maybe slap someone. She's not a trained soldier, yet Eleven deals with her like she is. It's exactly like April says.
@@atinity6749 i mean, when she broke troy’s arm, it was literally after he forced mike to jump off a cliff. angela made some horrible comments, and bullying is absolutely disgusting, but i think what was mostly celebrated in season 1 was that mike was saved, not really her violence. or at least that’s how i felt when i viewed it 🤷♀️
@@atinity6749 I’m yes definitely. Those soldiers were grown adults who came after a child. Angela is a child herself, she deserved to be felt with. But Eleven is so used to violence she just outright tries to murder Angela, a girl no where near her level of combat. Eleven is very limited, but it is very obviously not her fault.
I think its so sad that Elle could have gone to jail for her physical violence but Angela would face no repercussions (beyond being a horrible person and therefore not living an especially fulfilled life) for her verbal violence, especially the despicable things she said to a grieving girl about her dad. Honestly, the teacher should have called her out straight away and told her the punishment she would be receiving in front of the class.
This! I felt that the teachers literally did nothing the whole time, just kind of shrugged and went “kids will be kids.”
She also assaulted El a few times and wasn’t punished for it.
I was wondering about that teacher in the diorama scene, too… she was deeply unhelpful.
Honestly the teacher annoyed me more than Angela before. How can one person be so completely useless?
If I were the teacher when Angela asked her question I would have been like "I guess I'm just... confused? I thought I told you to wait until the presentation was finished before asking questions". The teacher set out a rule, it was just unnecessary for Angela to ignore the rule, it just shows that the teacher herself has no credibility when it comes to controlling the students she's supposed to look after. The kid literally took control of the entire class just to bully someone right in front of the teacher. And maybe if adults stood up to kids like Angela, their victims wouldn't feel so alone.
The teacher was so bad. My literature teacher would have slammed Angela to the ground emotionally for this.
my third grade teacher became my hero when she did this for me (standing up to a bully on my behalf) - wish more kids had teachers like this
More kids need verbal smackdowns from adults and older kids. Not verbal abuse, just responding to bullying with sass from authority.
Well sure, but a better response from the teacher would have been inconvenient for the plot.
El has consistently been rewarded and praised for violence against people she deems to be ‘bad’. I think it’s amazing they actually committed to that psychological mindset with hands on violence when el loses her powers. It’s disturbing but good writing, and mike is an ass for egging her on when hurting his bullies but not her own
I will say he’s a great communicator in the later scene. Given how socially stunted el must be it’s great to see people be so patient with her
@@carolinec.9792 i mean that's pretty different considering the things she did to his bullies werent really as bad, i mean she broke one of their arms, but he was threatening to cut out dustin's teeth and basically put mike in a position where he could've killed himself, so not really sure how either of them can be so much in the wrong for that when the bullies were basically egging on his potential death, also another thing is that they were kids, so of course he was going to be more mature in a scene where he's a lot older and matured, agree on the writing though, didn't make me feel any sympathy for angela though lol
Those bully situations were a lot different in regards to how Mike acted. The bullies in season 1 were threatening to cut out Dustin’s teeth and were forcing Mike to do something that would’ve killed him. Also, Mike wasn’t egging her on back then, he just wasn’t berating her. What she did to those bullies was break one of their arms and threaten them. That wasn’t nearly as bad as what she did to Angela for far less. Don’t get me wrong, I despise Angela and think she’s a terrible person. However, from Mike’s point of view, the only thing he saw Angela do to El was the milkshake incident. While that was terrible, in his mind that probably didn’t warrant a roller skate to the face in front of everyone that could’ve killed Angela, if she had been hit hard enough. It would’ve been better if El had just punched Angela in the face with her fist instead. Regardless, Mike didn’t see or know of the extent of the bullying she had gone through from Angela, because she lied to him for months. His knee jerk reaction was definitely going to be shock. He handled the argument scene with El incredibly well though. He was calm, understanding, and very mature for his age in that argument.
@@baileym8303 I agree that mikes bullies were much worse, but making a kid wet themselves and breaking their arm is a pretty heinous response. And it doesn’t change that the reinforcement is “I get to hurt people when they’re being bad” El doesn’t understand the difference in severity between passive aggressive bullies and violent threats. She just knows that she’s hurt and it’s someone’s fault and they deserve to be hurt too
@@carolinec.9792 Oh, I definitely agree that El’s first response is always violence and that definitely shouldn’t be enforced. I do understand why Mike acted differently in both situations though. He was also a lot younger in the first scenario than with Angela. So, he definitely sees things like bullying in a more mature way in season 4.
Of all the horror elements of Stranger Things, the bullying scenes were the parts that had me hiding behind a cushion. The Duffer brothers were relentless in showing the evil that children are capable of. It was so difficult yet so compelling to watch.
It worked for me in season 1, because the gritty tone and Stephen King vibes made the bullies feel realistic. But Angela just felt cartoonish to me. The roller rink scene especially just felt ridiculously over the top, and I couldn't take her seriously as a minor villain because she felt so unrealistic.
@@robbiesmith8055 spoken like someone who’s never been bullied before. Seriously? Threatening to cut out Dustin’s teeth unless Mike unalives himself is more realistic to you than Angela? Lol k
@@lunatunes737 I suppose I should clarify. Season 1 was deliberately trying to emulate Stephen King's fondness for brutal childhood bullies, and the overall tone of the series supports that. But then in waltzes Angela in season 4 who manages to orchestrate a scenario where over a dozen people are helping her systematically bully one kid, and not a single employee of the roller rink steps in at any moment? While I can believe there are people as shitty out there as Angela and co, the whole scenario just feels way too extreme to feel believable to me.
I don't think they needed to go to such extreme lengths with the bullying. The psychological turmoil of being systematically targeted constantly by the same person or group of people is already bad enough, and we see that El's already at her breaking point when it's just petty schoolyard crap; she tries to kill Angela because she broke her diorama and humiliated her in class. It's like they felt that El going full sicko mode on Angela would only make sense if something really insanely awful happened, but like... no? It's already awful that she's put up with this crap for 6 months, you don't need to fabricate a whole farcical scene just so we can sympathise with El for attacking her bully.
That whole thing g felt a bit too realistic and close to home to me, like it triggered me bad
@@robbiesmith8055 it’s simple. People don’t give a shit about bullies. They don’t take bullying that seriously especially in the 80s. I’ve had worse shit happen to me in school and no one intervened.
Also there’s the added weight that the things Angela is bullying El for relates back to El’s dead father (Hopper isn’t actually dead but she doesn’t know that obviously). I’d hardly call that petty schoolyard crap. She didn’t try to kill Angela at all. She attacked Angela when she directly made fun of the fact that her dad is dead. That was the final straw. Angela felt very eerily realistic to me it was almost triggering. That’s exactly how I was bullied in school and even the lack of intervention from adults was believable. And clearly, many other people feel the same way, meaning it is realistic to some degree. If it wasn’t realistic, Angela wouldn’t have gotten such a vitriolic response compared to the bullies in season 1. It’s the same reason people hate Umbridge more than they hate Voldemort.
In conclusion, I’m so happy for you that your childhood was a little happier and you had adults who stood up for you. Not everyone had that
Whether it's in a platonic or romantic way, Mike definitely loves El. He just needs to talk to her like he opens up to Will.
People are too often too harsh on Mike for not "supporting" El enough etc. but all of them forget that he's just a teenager, basically a kid. He does the best he can, and he is always, always there for her. They catch up on it beautifully later on with "I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero."
Unpopular Opinion: I totally agree with El breaking Angela’s nose with roller skate.
There’s bullying and then there’s cruelty, and Angela crossed the line with the Hopper being dead comment.
120% agree
Plus, she ASKED them to stop and apologize. She tried talking. So fuck them
10000000 agree
Unpopular opinion?
Nearly everyone agrees Angela deserved it
That's not an unpopular opinion, majority of the fandom agrees with you 💀
you should probably react to max's arc this season because i think it portrayed depression, PTSD, survivor's guilt and s*icidal ideation pretty well (and vecna really was a metaphor to all of those in vol 1), especially her scene with the counselor in episode 1, the entirety of episode 4 and max's monologue to vecna in episode 9.
I was abused at home and bullied at school. If I hadn't had books and sci-fi shows I'd have turned out a wreck. But, in books and TV, I saw kind people, geeky nerds like me who became heroes and did good. That's what got me through it all. And then... decades later, one of the girls who used to torture me throughout school contacted me on FB. She told me 'sorry'. She explained that she'd been in an abusive home herself, that her parents fought constantly and violently and were alcoholics, and that she'd taken her pain out on me. She didn't excuse her behavior, but she did apologize and that turned the memory of a monstrous creature that reveled in my pain into the knowledge of a girl, like me, suffering, like me, and growing up to be a better person. I don't know if other people would get the same sense of catharsis that I did from that simple apology, but I learned the power of atonement in that moment and it changed so much for me. I had done years of therapy to get past that period in my life, but her reaching out and saying what she did, finally put it all to rest.
Wow, that's wonderful. I'm really happy for you that you got that moment.
It's already amazing that she even recognized that what she did to you was wrong.
I had contact in my 20's with someone from when I was 8-9 years old and he just remembered being the fun kid at school. He didn't understand that almost all his jokes had targets. However, I also remember his mother running away from his father... There were reasons for his misguided clown of the class behaviour.
Mike really is such a sweetheart. I loved his talk with El. And Mike DOES love her unconditionally. The reason he can't say "love" is because of HIS own insecurity that she won't want him anymore because he feels like he's some nobody.
yeah.
Exactly!
He worships her because she is a super hero! That is NOT love
@@gilbirdsareawesome y’all again get on here and lie him calling her a superhero was purely to make her not feel like a monster but of course y’all turn that negative they are kids he doesn’t care about her powers he is he only one who actually cares they can hurt her since everybody else just uses them constantly without the thought that it takes a toll on her physically
i cried so god damn much for this whole season jshdfjss
I cried 5 times in the last episode alone!!! 😭😭😭😭
Honestly i don't get why Mike gets so much hate. So happy to see you appreciate him. I think the problem is more on the creators' struggle balancing the amount of storyline for each characters. It's hard to write an ensemble cast.
I was surprised at how gleefully I reacted to Eleven's violent incident. I thought she was really justified in her behavior, and the amount of vicarious reinforcement I experienced from watching it was disturbing, even to me.
I both completely understood and also was chanting "No, Elle! Don't Elle! Ah no...." through it, because all I could think was that she'd go to jail for assault and that would be bad. XD I hated that girl and wanted her to have a monster come and chomp on her ankles or something, but I didn't want Elle to be the one to do it, because I knew she'd hate herself for it later.
I cheered so hard when she hit Angela. All my rage at every bully I ever had came out at that moment!
I didn't want Elle to do it because I want what's best for Elle, but I didn't feel bad for Angela even a smidge when she did.
nah, that little chris hargensen in the making was asking for it. she's lucky el didn't have her powers or she would have gotten a full carrie recreation.
It was definitely a well deserved smack.
El’s bullying is so heartbreaking and I related to it a lot. Passive aggression is usually overlooked as a form of bullying, particularly in school. It was for me. And yes, there’s a difference between verbal and physical abuse, but that doesn’t make it better, and it shouldn’t excuse a teacher’s inaction.
This season was honestly my favorite. There were so many good heart felt moments, I think the writing was particularly good. I don't get the hate Mike/Will are getting. Mike is this sweet supportive awkward teenage boy, and Will has gone through some really intense trauma as a child and just tries to deal with it, and he feels absolutely alone in this (plus everything else). I hope we'll get more videos on that season, because there's so much psychology to unpack here!
I loved Will this season (kinda always do). I really felt the pain he was going through, especially after expressed his feelings to Mike (sorta) in the van and then turned to the side to cry. Totally identified with that.
@@janiceandthomas This was such a heartcrushing moment, I cried watching poor baby Will in so much pain T__T At first I thought he was trying to express how lonely he felt, after his experience in the upside down, dealing with the trauma and being kinda forgotten by the others, but I also can see how this is his way of trying to tell Mike how he feels about him, without being able to say it clearly. It made his scene with his brother later on even more touching.
@@janiceandthomas I also loved the selflessness of that scene, how he encouraged Mike in his relationship with Elle because they both loved each other - he not only accepted it but he supported them rather than asserting his own feelings however much it hurt him. I love how they could have used it for drama like so many other shows but instead used this scene to make it heart breaking but also a really powerful character moment and to strengthen other relationships like with Will and Jonathan and the beautiful moment they had later
I especially dont get the hate that mike is getting. I can see how the writers have shifted the focus and put mike's character development on a back burner... where in season 1 and 2 he was the heart of the group, but I am attributing that to the writers seeing that the other actors have more mass appeal than mike's actor (i personally love finn though).., but his character is still not detestable.. I actually understand most of his actions and reactions... and it is not hateful or gross.. I think it is normal for that age at that time..
@@robgrey1466 Most of the issues people (myself included) have with Mike is that his emotional intelligence seems to have gone backwards. Yeah he's just a kid, and he's allowed not to always say the right things, but he's seemed really obtuse for the past two seasons (especially when it comes to Will and El).
In season 1 he's the kid who would jump off a cliff to save a friend, and was always the first person to notice if something was wrong with Will. But then we get to season 4 and he's too oblivious to see how worked up Will was getting in the van; he just kid of awkwardly looks away when he starts crying. So the hate comes less from Mike being a dreadful character, and more from him being a shadow of his former self.
14:09 This meme right here is a perfect example of how Twitter feels about Mike...but in reverse, unfortunately
People unreasonably hate Mike to the point they'd rather he died and Billy, an abusive, racist, piece of shit brother would come back
HUH?? they prefer BILLY over Mike??? i mean Billy is a more complex character, sure, but he was a racist a-hole. why is Mike so hated? 😟
@@originalname530 Crazy stans believe Billy was a good person all along and that he isn't racist
People hate Mike because they think he's a bad friend, and I have to disagree with you, Billy is not more complex than Mike, in fact no one on the show is harder to read more than Mike
Omg. I loved the “keep shining because we *need* your light!”
So comforting.
Mike wasn't ready to say "i love you" and it's not a bad thing and it doesn't mean he doesn't love her anymore, he's just a teenager with a lot of home trauma and trauma in general, ppl are saying he's a bad person, bad boyfriend, bad friend and bad son/brother and it's just heartbreaking as someone who was raised by ppl who didn't love each other and i can't express my feelings either (not the good ones at least) because we can't control it. Mike showed so many times he loves her even went around hawkins looking for flowers because in the last letter she wrote that she misses the spring flowers in hawkins, he's ready to die for her and the rest of the party (he literally jumped of off a clif for Dustin) he's really overlooked by the fandom.
agreed! I love mike, you summed him up exactly right, I also have a hard time with emotions in general so I Iiked how we got to have this character I could relate to deal with the same kind of thing
Girls who bullied me during high school (in both physically and psychological ways) are currently: educators, social workers, psychologists, etc.
Kinda disturbs me. It clearly shows that anyone can study anything they want to. However, I'm scared of what kind of professionals they'd turn into.
Hopefully they went into those fields bc they wanted to learn why they were so unhappy and in need of power as a child/teen. Education can be very healing. Also these careers may be a way to atone by protecting kids from bullies like they used to be.
16:58 I wish someone had told me this when I was at school. I took bullying personally and thought, "there must be something wrong with me, and they can see it" although my childhood. If only someone had explained what Jonathan said to me instead of calling me a cry baby and I'm being oversensitive. It might have saved me a lot of heartbreak.
I got bullied most of my schooltime and from early on I knew it wasn't about me and really had a feeling for the struggles they had and what eventually made them search for a way of distraction from that. It all started with a new girl and I went from having a lot of friends to only one classmate talking to me. It was a hard process accepting that this was bullieng and and allowing myself to be angry at them. I forgot probably most of what happend and it took many many conversation with my mother to realise how cruel they where to me.
please react to will and him coming to terms with his sexuality through this season
AND BILLY TOO!! Ooh, what about an episode about Billy and Max and survivor's guilt?
I’d like to see Will analyzed throughout the series, kind of as the double outcast. Both as in the closet, and as being captured in the Upside Down and being used as an enemy agent. He needs more screen time to work out his demons and open up to his friends.
His speech to Mike
@@TheBallingers3 He's gonna be a focus in season 5 apparently, but it remains to be seen if you'll get your wish or not. He desperately needs a great arc to come to terms with his sexuality and work through the trauma he's been through for years, and I'm hoping we see that in 5. But considering how his character has been written so far, they could just as easily use him as a plot device like the first two seasons, and only put minimal effort into checking in with his feelings like they did in 3.
@@robbiesmith8055 you hit on exactly what I hope for his character: that he’s more than just a prop. I’m not woke, but Noah is a really good actor who has had to just turn things on and off quickly due to less screen time. We see what happens to him, but not his internal dealings with them, and I’d like to see him come to terms with himself. In short: great actor whose character needs an arc.
I am hopeful for season 5, as I thought I read something from the Duffer Bros about his role expanding a bit there.
Seeing El get bullied was particularly heart breaking for me, mainly because I was bullied almost the exact same way, that passive aggressive sweet tone. I was the weird new kid in town whose parents didn’t have a lot of money. I was bullied all the way from 3rd grade to 11th grade. The bullying only stopped because I moved and it was always over stupid stuff. At one point in 10th grade I did snap a little and hit a girl on her back with a fundraising packet as I was walking away. She left me alone for a while after that, and even though it felt satisfying for her to know that I did have a breaking point, the pain didn’t stop.
I’m in my early 20s now and I’m still getting over the affects of being bullied
It’s all easy until it’s happening to your kid! Being bullied, meh- been there done that- watching it happen to your kid is a special type of helpless I don’t wish on anyone
Having the ability to hurt someone that treats you like that and not doing it is so hard, because actually doing it feels so good. At least at first. Eventually it comes back to haunt you.
I developed Avoidant Personality Disorder due to the interaction between my religious trauma and the bullying at school, internalizing all that "turn the other cheek" stuff while also internalizing the cruel words of the bullies.
oh no... is that my problem? that may have happened to me.
as someone who already had gotten it from parents, it would reinforced through real life.
El definitely suffers with a feeling if worthlessness which I think many people can relate to imo.
If you can no longer do the one thing people praise you for you obviously can go into a depressive state idk
Lots of people say Mike's a terrible boyfriend to El but he's actually a really good boyfriend who just has his own insecurities and fears which we find out later in the series.
i agree! but when you say we find it out later in the series, what scenes are you interpreting?
PLEASE react to MAX in S4 and her depression, ptsd and guilt after Billy’s death!
Yes yes!
I second, third, and fourth this!
As a 20 year old who was bullied for eight damned years in school, finished it at sixteen, and took a time from everything because I really really needed it and also needed, still do therapy. I feel you.
My husbands ex wife is a platinum blond bully. I have never been bullied, disrespected. And Despised so much in my entire life. I mean I was an outcast a bit in school mostly because of depression, but it has never been so awful. It has been extremely difficult for me during this transition phase of my life (of getting married and having a step daughter). I completely understand El and why she hit Angela with the skate.
More coping with bully videos, please? 🥺
When I was a kid I had a stutter. It went away when I was 12, but no one really knew what it was or how to deal with it. My parents would tell me to slow down and let my words catch up to my brain, so I would stop speaking when I felt the stutter happening. After it went away, if I couldn't remember what I was going to say, I would just stop speaking midsentence until I remembered because I didn't want the stutter to start again. I was hyperaware of when I used a filler word or accidentally stumbled over a word and would blush every time it happened because I was embarrassed, and then one of the people in my class would point out that I was embarrassed and that just made it worse. To this day, I still panic a little every time I have to do any public speaking. It's a different situation, but I thought the show handled the scene in the classroom with El so well...I connected with her so much in that moment.
Named my kitten after Hopper, cause he's a scrappy survivor. So happy you did this, Jono! Thank you!
Adorable!
Yeeaaahhhh, I get really quietly testy about the whole "geek is chic" thing because of how my social ostracization in school stemmed in part from my off-brand interests for what young girls in the 90s were supposed to be into. Things that were used to traumatize me and make me feel insecure are now considered "cool" by the people who rendered that damage, and a part of me is angry that I'll never get an acknowledgement of the harm done and all the work *I've* had to do to overcome it while now they get to just enjoy my interests obstacle free. Like you said, it's a whole messed up system, the way kids treated each other like that.
You just gave an EXCELLENT explanation of the term "cultural appropriation" and I thank you for that. Others getting to enjoy something without consequences that you suffered harm for doing/being ... Very good.
@@theopkingdom3433 Man you know I never really thought about it as a form of cultural appropriation but you're right, it does kind of fit the definition. They're "wearing" those interests like a costume because they're currently cool (cultural appropriation), and only a small percentage of those people are likely to realize "oh, I'd like to know more about this" and discover a new interest to dig into (cultural appreciation).
This comment is 100% of how I feel about all this “Nerds are cool now!” stuff. I mean… it opens up doors for stuff like the MCU and Star Wars (sorry anyone who doesn’t like the sequels/prequels/anthology films/series-ironically the hate you get for liking any or all of those things is remarkably like the hate you got for being a nerd AND a girl in the 90s) but there is a touch of bitterness because THEY were the ones throwing rocks and sticks at us on the way home for being different and now it’s almost like they’ve made being different or odd a fashion trend.
Anyway, you put that beautifully. As a side note, your username is freaking amazing!
You gotta react to Mike’s monologue from episode 9, bc that unfolds a lot of the argument in this episode. It explains why Mike didn’t say I love you and it’s a popular take a lot of movies use.
One of the best things I ever learned was, if I am not willing to go to person A for advice, why would I listen to anything negative they say about me. That simple realisation changed a lot for me.
My sister says "consider the source" and that helps me.
Also your description of Alan made me curl up with laughter XD
Erica is so ruthless she got you saying "KILL HER WITH YOUR MIND, EL!" at 3:02 🤣😅
I can't really say I handled bullying right, but somehow the petiness always fueled me to be better (at school, at sports, etc.). My parents were my rock, and while growing up I teamed up with other outcasts, building a friendship of (now) 24 years with my best friend. We're different, maybe we're weirdos, but we never cared.
The "oh will" I must have said that a million times this season! I just want to give him a hug so bad!!!
please catch up with the season and analyze mike's monologue in the finale!! it's a direct response to this scene and it completely explains his behavior here!! and also the van scene in ep. 8 as it's very important too!! you'll know which one when you watch it. both these scenes offer ALL the insight needed to understand mike this season. great video, keep them coming!
that blonde Angela girl was totally undermining the teacher's authority. like, it's not her job to tell people the assignment was different, but the teacher's. and the teacher wasn't doing enough, like she was just doing the bare minimum, or hardly even that, at keeping things in order.
the aftermath talk between Mike and El certainly had a lot of good stuff in it, i appreciated how his questions were more of an invitation for her to talk it out, not some kind of interrogation, and yeah there were some missteps on his part which made it believable, he literally is a teen and not a therapist. what i hated is that when he saw those kids hurt her, he just stood there and did nothing. him and Will.
in elementary school i was heavily bullied by my teacher. he would call me out on eating too much in front of the class, would talk down on me while he was praising the "better" kids, would even put me in front of the class and ask the class what they thought of me. it completely broke me, i was so confused. because he was an adult i assumed that he must be telling the truth. that i in fact WAS fat, worth less, weird, not normal.
sadly, i figured out how to handle it when i was a few years older and i hadn't seen him in years. i went through a lot of therapy because of this man. people underestimate what bullying does for your mental wiring. it can mess you up big time.
if you're reading this and you are being bullied right now, and you feel like you're all alone on this world, with no support or a hand to hold, just know that i love you. you are so perfect just the way you are. and i promise you: it will be okay. 💗
I am so very sorry for your experience with that teacher. 😥 Honestly so many are unfit to teach. I had terrible gym and art teachers in elementary/middle school who only valued the kids that were good in sports and who were artistic. Everyone else was treated badly. My music teacher was the only one who took an interest in me and encouraged me! RIP Mrs. Ifcic 💗
I'd love to see you talk about Steve's relationship with Nancy and/or Robin! I feel like he met Robin at a perfect time, a friend his own age, and she had to shoot him down so there's no mutual romantic attraction
"Who came up with the idea that feces could be sanctified?" 😂 don't change
High School was really hard for me. I was bullied multiple times. The time I best remember is there was a trio, two girls and a boy who were bullying me as they didn't like my best friend and she didn't care what they tried on her so they redirected to me to hurt her.
They had gathered together a large group to watch them bully me one day and part of me snapped. I'm proud of myself that it was in a non-violent way.
I cut them off and started telling them the truth of what was said about them behind their backs. When they tried to stop me I just got louder and kept going over the top of them. All the rumours, all the nasty comments, everything. I didn't stop until they ran from me.
They never went near me again... well, that was until after my brother started dating one of their mothers. He's now her step-dad, but I got to meet her after 15 years at a family barbeque and realised that she just didn't matter and had absolutely no hold on me now...she couldn't look me in the eye and still avoided me throughout the whole event. Her husband was lovely though and we had a really good chat. 😀
Oh man... The part where Jono talks about not fitting in and being bullied by Kids who do fit in hit me. ... But in a positive way. I remember 8th, 9th and 10th grade: 32 teenager. And we were all so ridiculiusly missmatched. We all were outsiders. Punks and Goths and nerds and immigrants and gays and what Not all... And all our differences were our common ground. We stuck together and it was so much fun (Most of the time).
I found that girls do the bullying stuff a little more subtle but non the less can go very extreme. Maybe the boys at my school just were more casual about social stuff, they all were kinda losely befriended. But with girls friendships had to be super close and each had a bunch of best friends. And since that wasnt my thing I too started collecting all the weird ones, mostly boys in the beginning. I definitely would have collected you too! XD
16:18 was so powerful and beautiful i just had to write it down! Those are the very words I needed to hear ❤️
Fantastic analysis of Stranger Things. Mike hets so much hate when he is nothing but a kind, supportive boyfriend. The scene between him and Eleven after the roller skate are so good. Mike really wants her to open up to him and is so patience and gentle with her
12:00 amazing analysis people getting mad at Mike in this scene when he is doing a good job is he suppose to coddle her and let herself close up or is he suppose to ask questions where she can open up and let out what she is feeling??? Mike isn't doing the best job but he's doing a good job for a teenager in his first relationship.
What a great analysis. I would love to see a qualified therapist's take on Max throughout the season; her depression, trauma, self-isolation, and complex reactions to the death of her abuser. She's a very interesting character and as a psych student I've found myself very interested in her.
Seen you on the podcast you were on and that isn't true sure I haven't connected with you as much as Alan but when you've shared some of your stories it's made me ugly cry even more than some of the Alan crying moments for me personally
I loved this! I was waiting for you guys to cover Stranger Things on Cinema Therapy somehow but I'm so glad you did a video on it here! I would love to see your take on Max's character arc this season! I feel like they handled the complexity of her grief really well given her complicated relationship with Billy.
The whole commentary is on point, thank you so much for this quality content, it's amazing
I am so so happy to see a Stranger Things video on your channel, I would love it if you made more, maybe on the previous seasons as well? Or S4 video focused on other characters like Max or Will.
Thank you for this video, it made my day 🥰
I think what's interesting, on the question of "handling bullies", is how many people in the comments became _more_ compassionate as a response to bullying, myself included. I certainly have my private thoughts about punching some bullies in the face for the physical catharsis, sure, but what I've learned over time is that no matter how much others hurt me to the degree that I feel that need to hurt them back, I genuinely don't _want_ to hurt people. It's not who I am. I don't _want_ people to feel miserable and in pain. I want people to be happy and loved (and ironically I think that empathy is partly what makes me a bullying magnet). It's why I think that skate scene lingering is so good, because it's the same for Elle. She doesn't _want_ to hurt people, and you see that she instantly regrets doing it.
I like the note that Elle leaves later for Mike, "I have gone to become a superhero again." I think that rings true to my approach to handling bullies. I can't control how other people choose to act, but I want to be a superhero who helps people, and it's no good to let bullies steal that from me. Sit with the harm, be angry about it until the emotion runs out, then come back to myself.
The first time I saw the scene in which Eleven knocks the roller skates into Angela's face, tbh it felt good haha.. Felt like she deserved it, since she kept teasing and teasing and teasing, at one point she would break Eleven, then everyone sympathises with Angela as the victim, that's infuriating.
The other thought that came to my mind is the fact that Angela keeps teasing about El's dad Hopper could be Angela herself has some daddy issues, maybe a father that is not present or abuses her or simply doesn't support her on something, so she needs to tease other kids using this subject..
Oh Jono your videos are a delight and highly educational! And I was in a production of newsies and you sing beautifully!!! 👏💗👏💖👏
School was a nightmare for me until I was accepted into a magnet school, where I was surrounded by like-minded peers.
I love watching you break down pivotal moments from a psychology/therapy standpoint. Thank you for also pointing out the good things that Mike does as well. A lot of fans have started to hate Mike and complain that he is whiny and immature. But as you said, he's a kid!! Mike is in no way my favorite character in the show, but I don't think he deserves the hate that he gets either. So thank you.
thanks for this analysis! i really feel for el here, especially with the "being different" part and having the people you love just not understanding. i went through some really traumatic shit when i was young and its something where ive yet to meet someone whos gone through the same thing so hearing el voicing that, even though her situation is really different, felt pretty cathartic for me. my close friends would try to relate, but sometimes you just cant, and thats ok. i sympathize with mike here as hes also gone through a lot of trauma and i can see that hes quite insecure about himself(hes always idolizing el, talking about how incredible she and her powers are, brings up other people even though nobody is getting in the way of their relationship? projection, maybe?) but the way he talked to el here was def not the way to go. but again, i cant be too hard on him here since theyre only 15 here lol. to me, mike just seems like he doesnt know how to love other people when they dont explicitly need him or his "protection." all el wants here is for mike to love her for who she is and to say it, but mike just doesnt know how. idk, i have more thoughts but i dont wanna get too deep into it. id love to hear your thoughts on will and his sexuality journey too, hes one of my favorite characters in this show but he doesnt get nearly enough appreciation imo
I am so glad you did a video on stranger things season 4 :) I love stranger things and especially dissecting the characters' personal conflicts because the show does a good job at delving deep into struggles the characters go through, especially with El being in a totally new environment this season and feeling alienated. I would absolutely love for you to do a video commenting on Will this season, as we get to see a less supernatural aspect to his problems, and now a scary internal conflict, that he is gay and has feelings for mike and is really feeling isolated and sad this season.
Thank you for this. I was bullied for 6 years straight at school and at 30 years old, some of it still effects me. I don't know if you're reading this, but if you are I would really appreciate it if you also analyze Mike's trauma. It started at season 2 after he'd lost El, he wasn't just withdrawn, he was seriously depressed, and they'd made a genius mirroring that season to Will who was suffering from PTSD from his kidnapping. You could see how hurt they both are but being together and interacting, you could also see the difference between them so you have a lot to work with, maybe separating different types of trauma which is not something I've ever seen done before. Regarding season 4, it's very clear to me that Mike has severe separation anxiety this year. There's something very very deep going on with him and it's too internalized to be evident on the outside. I see it because I've lived it, but I would love to get a professional's opinion as to what's happening to him. I know you get a million messages a day and I know mine is super long but please just consider it if you see this message. It'll help me in ways I can't even explain. Thank you so much for everything.
I worry about my daughter being bullied. She is starting public school in a few weeks and is in the process of being diagnosed with autism. She attends speech therapy and is very far behind other kids her age. I wish I was able to home school her.
Hugs.
Hopefully she will be placed in special ed! That has been a huge turning point for my nephew. He finally gets one-on-one attention, his speech and potty training are starting to develop, and he has friends now! His grandparents are ashamed that he’s in special ed and hate that his best friend is a girl with Down Syndrome. They like to pretend my nephew is “normal” because his difficulties aren’t immediately obvious. I hate that they can’t see that his differences don’t lower his worth one bit and that everyone who takes the time to interact with him sees his unique, sweet personality. I hate that caregivers are often a child’s first bully 😡 Proud of you for doing right by your daughter 🤗
@@clementine9 She is in special ed. ☺️ It has so far been going very well. Glad to hear your nephew is blossoming in special ed!
I was teaching an anti-bullying workshop with youth for a couple summers and the number of kids who are told it's okay to hit back at their bullies is tremendously sad. The concept that there are implications to their actions doesn't cross their minds - and in some cases their parents minds either. I remember one kid about 15 years of age passionately challenging me that it was right for him to beat bullies up. I asked him to think about how would he feel at 18 when he was in jail for assault. How would he live his life when he got out of jail and had trouble finding a job because of that assault record? Would it be better to learn how to de-escalate the interaction and prevent the bullying altogether? The idea of fighting back is ingrained in us, and in many cases, fighting back on things is important, but the method in which you fight back doesn't have to be physical. I hope I changed a few minds with those sessions. I know I had a lot of affected kids in my classrooms with those sessions. It's broke my heart.
My solution to being weird and bullied was to make myself invisible and honestly I'm still doing it... Pretty sure it isn't healthy or helping me or making me happy at all
That Mike/Nate meme I’m screamin
Wonderful that you made this «Come as you are» group of friends, the world needs more of that❤️ I was never actively bullied, but many years I felt different and nerdy and it was difficult to know how to make friends. Luckily it’s become better in adulthood but I would have loved a group like yours😊
"because they need it" beautyfull. And really the best reason I know, I always tried to be that way and share the love I own.
“El I’m your therapist and as a therapist I’m telling you to kill them with your mind”
Your videos are so good, so educational and full of compassion, they always bring a smile to my face even after a hard day. Mended light and cinema therapy are literally my comfort channels. Thank u for your precious work ☀️💗
i just love how much mike has grown as a partner since the last season and also in this one! he tried his very best and started to think about what el needed instead of overthinking his insecurities and even adapting his love language for her, to say what she needed to listen even if that was already clear to him! el suffered a lot and we seeing all her traumas and being bullied this season just makes me happy that she has him (and that he had will to help him as well)! i had to deal with that by myself and it was hard until i had my own group of outcasts but like… friendship is super important and appreciating yourself makes a big difference!
Your speech at the end of the video brought tears to my eyes. I was bullied for years, thank you for your beautiful words
Thank you so much for adressing bullying with a show that takes place in the 80's, things were different back then, teachers and parents weren't involved in preventing bullying as they are today. I'm 43 years old and it's had to find videos about this topic made by someone my own age, thanks for sharing your experiences as a child, I could relate a lot(Sorry if I made any English mistakes)
Bless you and your “come as you are” group of friends. We all need to “come as we are” and not be afraid. Has taken me almost fifty years but i’m pretty comfortable as me, finally. 💛
This is the first Mended Light video I've seen and the sign off "keep shining because we need your light" hit pretty hard. thank you :)
I've been waiting for this! Would LOVE to see a Cinema Therapy episode on Stranger Things!
Jono, thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story. That sounded extremely traumatic. And I just wanted to say that I would have absolutely loved your singing Santa Fe as an elementary schooler. Broadway musical numbers are still my kryptonite.
I love this channel so much, and combining it with Stranger Things is just THE BEST. Could we make this a series, specifically on Stranger Things? There is SO much in this show that is fascinating from a psychology/therapy perspective and I would love to hear more! Thank you for sharing your wisdom as always
I loved this video ❤ The way you explain things is marvellous! I wish I had you as a teacher during my bachelor's in psychology. I feel like nowadays we are asked as mental health academics to just label and try to diagnose people, it would've been so easy to try and list all the trauma and disorders El probably has if we do the DSM checklist. I just love how both you and Alicia go beyond that and actually see the human experiencing life, even in characters. I deeply appreciate your work and humanity, I send both of you a big hug!
Oddly enough, this video, and these moments from stranger things triggered memories from my own time in high school when I was bullied, so needless to say, this video was very good therapy for me. Don't worry Jonathan, I've had a similar experience to your impromptu newsies number when I was younger, and I had similar feelings. I relate.
I'd say that in most cases, violence isn't the answer, but sometimes... yeah, it's absolutely the correct response. I was massively bullied as a kid and teen (from about Grade 1 to Grade12), and did everything "right" to stop it: I went to teachers and the school administration (who turned a blind eye to it), I tried ignoring the bullies (which is foolish to do when they want to physically hurt you), and even tried talking to them, which worked about as well as trying to discuss astrophysics with a squirrel.
In the end, the ONLY thing left was to fight back, and guess what? The bullies stopped after getting their noses bloodied (and I mean that literally as people freak when they see blood, even if the damage inflicted is relatively minor). It's unfortunate, but sometimes the only language people understand is violence, and in those situations the only way to solve a problem is by hurting those who're hurting you.
NOTE: I graduated high school in 1998, so my experiences were before schools started taking in-school violence seriously and implementing "zero tolerance" approaches (which have their own serious flaws, but at least they're trying in a half-assed sort of way). Back then, teenage guys hitting each other was just considered "boys being boys" which is stupid and what probably allowed bullies to thrive.
The part with Angela and the roller skate makes me smile every time. (I had pretty bad bullies in middle school.) I actually cheered the first time.
good therapist, thank you for your work!
You should also do Eddie :) He's the definition of an outcast and it's very curious to compare how he behaves in school vs how he behaves when he's not trying to put on a front (with Chrissy and Steve and Dustin)
I really enjoyed Eddie and Chrissy's chemistry as people from two very different social groups. Too bad the Duffer Brothers don't want us to have nice things. Haha
always watch your videos but this is the first time i've left comments. Maybe bcs stranger things is my fav show and also i've experienced all things you say here.
I was heavily bullied in elementary school, physically and mentally, they would pull my hair and hit me after school. I can't remember all of it & how did i make through it, just like you said, we choose to block out our bad memories. I simply glad i was surrounded by healthy environment in middle and high school.
Now in my 20s i'm dealing with whole different things such as insecurities that sometimes affecting my relationship. That quotes you read really hits me. It's so comforting and makes me beyond grateful that my partner loves me unconditionally. All i have to do now is to focus more on my values and working on to be a better person.
Thank you. 😊
Thank you
As someone who has been bullied, and self-loathed myself for years I have secretly wished for karma to strike upon my enemies that have trespassed against me. It some time and distance for me to let go of my anger towards them, but I didn't forgive them for them. I did it for me, because I don't want them to have power over me and my life anymore. I already knew that lesson, but actually applying to it was the hardest part. Because I kept thinking how much pain they cause against me, so much so I wanted to end my life permanently. Now I know the best revenge against enemies is to keep living for me.
I was verbally bullied for the entire time I was in school. I was taught not to fight back unless they hit me first.
I was taught that if I ignore them, they'll stop but it didn't work because I would cry when I was picked on, which made me more of a target.
I really identify with El when she reaches out, trying to use her powers & the disappointment when they're not there. I always wished I had some kind of power that I could use to make myself feel safe.
Because of the bullying while I grew up, I became even more of an introvert than I originally was, constantly reading fantasy books for some sort of escape.
Twenty+ years later & I still have a lot of issues because of the bullying I dealt with.
omfg I love the last crusade reference in the beginning that was hilarious thank you
I really enjoyed that. Someone else mentioned this also, but the way the teacher didn't shut Angela down was hard to watch along with El struggling with her presentation due to Angela's condescending comments. Also, poor Mike as a teen haha.. El being different and bullied would be even more frustrating for someone like her, someone who had so much power before and now feels powerless to someone like Angela and her friends. She saved the world and now she can barely save herself from a dumb bully! The frustration behind that would be what Mike doesn't understand even though he was bullied a lot as well.
This show is amazing and I can't wait for season 5!
Also, you low-key look like a version of Tony Hawk haha. Great video man 😊🤘
Oh, sweetie, if you'd have sung Santa Fe to me, I'd have been impressed. This is such a genuine "Bless your little heart" moment.
Yes!! Please do more on stranger things!!! I had hoped you and Alan would go through these because there are so many parts and characters to break down.
I love your approach. I am very grateful to you for this video because it hits very important points. I was not bullied at school because it was a bit different in my part of Europe back in the 80's. Children rather took care for each other and I did not hear about any acts of extreme violence like the ones that one can see in the US films. Teachers and parents would not let this be. They would rather beat you up first than allow such a behaviour. That was the kind of upbringing that was normal back then and I considered myself extremely fortunate because my parents didn't use this sort of punishments. But we had outcasts and pariahs too, and being one, I can remember how much it hurt. After some time I learned to take pride from being an outcast and commenced organizing a small group of committed friends, maybe not as spectacular as yours but still... And looking back I'm glad that I wasn't the "popular girl" as I think that it made me develop and grow. As you said in CT "nobody makes movies about the popular girls...". Because usually they're boring and opportunistic. And the nerds are really attractive from a cinematographical point of view, but being one in a real life... oh boy it sucks sometimes. Fortunately, later on you start realizing that you're not alone... That actually there's a lot of people like you and they like you for what you really are and you don't have to pretend or adjust. And you start liking and accepting yourself at last. So I deeply thank you again in the name of outcasts and pariahs of the world. Keep up mending our lights!:)