How Men Test You On A First Date - Watch Out For These Signs
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ค. 2024
- How Men Test You On A First Date - Watch Out For These Signs
In today's video, I will show how some Men Test You On A First Date. They will do this in deceptive ways to steal your power and make you feel dependent. So, to avoid falling into these traps, pay attention to the red flags I share with you.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Topic Summary
00:50 How Men Test You On A First Date 01
03:20 How Men Test You On A First Date 02
05:08 Quick Dating Advice For Women
05:39 How Men Test You On A First Date 03
07:21 Closing
01. The Time Delay
A subtle manipulation tactic often starts with text messages. He might send a text saying, "Hey, beautiful. Can't wait to see you!" You respond eagerly, but then... silence. Hours pass, maybe even a day, and you hear nothing.
Meanwhile, he's on social media, posting things he knows you'll see. This delay is a test to see if you'll chase his attention, demonstrating that you believe he holds a higher value. If he repeats this behavior, it's a clear sign he's trying to gain psychological leverage.
02. In-Person Tests
Moving on to in-person manipulation, he might casually mention an ex who sounds like a supermodel or is highly successful, aiming to make you feel insecure. Don't be fooled by these comparisons. He might also challenge your beliefs, like criticizing something you enjoy, to see if you'll stand firm or bend under pressure. Backhanded compliments are another tactic designed to induce overthinking and trigger anxiety, putting him in control. Lastly, he might push for physical intimacy on the date, testing your boundaries and comfort levels.
03. Concealed Feelings
Now, let's talk about men who conceal their true feelings. Some will hide their emotions to maintain leverage, creating a power dynamic where you feel needy or asking for too much. After a few dates and perhaps intimacy, he might wait for you to initiate the next date, playing a cat-and-mouse game. If you don't react to his pullback, he may return once he realizes you have other priorities, keeping you off-balance and craving his attention.
It's crucial to recognize these toxic behaviors and not tolerate them. In a healthy relationship, you're an equal partner, not a puppet. Some people will keep coming back not because they want you but because they don't want to see you happy with someone else. So, when someone plays hot and cold, consider their intentions.
Ismael Gomez III
I'm a Cuban - American Relationship Coach, Author, and Speaker.
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KEYWORDS
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Thanks about such beautiful message. Jajakallah khoiron.
Any man playing these games on purpose isn’t mature enough to be in a healthy relationship. 🙄
- to say the least!
These are the abusers, manipulators, gas lighters, narcs, cheaters.
These men are looking for mommies and therapists.
Thisssss
Exactly.
“When the connection is right, everything is effortless”… so true
Connection is not always the only thing to make it work - no way!
That is not true. You men are literally delusional thinking you are supposed to find a fairy tale
41 years of easy bliss...what can I say? I met the other half of ME bigger,stronger, ..I didnt know he was already dating 3 women when we met . He pursued me. His divorce was final the day we met. He immediately took all three to lunchnor dinner and explained he had THE one...I didnt know. I wasnt dating anyone else. I told him he needed to date others....but we both KNEW right at the first conversation. I was not about to commit to a newly divorce man. I had been widowed a year. My hands were full establishing my psych practice in my hometown and raising my 7 yo daughter alone. We had a situationship...FOR 41 YEARS. I loved it. I KNEW he chose me every single day and was free to go at any point..he invested his money and I invested mine ...sonemyears he outearned me later I outearned him..same ...there were ZERO games. This is silly and childish. What are you 30? We together had earned enough to retire at 50 and 55 to sail the Caribbean together. Tjen we built our tropical dream home abroad. He passed away 2 years ago. My daughter became a career military pilot and is now retired with 3 children. I am the luckiest of women to have had such a terrific man.
I remember he set up the first date and the last minutes… he cancelled and I did beg him to go. I feel so dump lol 😂… girl don’t double text or beg. Let him go…
Yes!!! Let them go! Never have S. e. x.
We are not weak. A person that ghost is weak if they do that and don’t explain.
Games ugh
@GODDESS_QUEEN_TILA he looks like my Dad. The last time I saw my dad was when I was 10 years old. I really want to work things out because he looks like my dad. I know it’s my fault but I’m okay now. lol 😂
This happened to me he make plans and make date everything and the last minute he cancelled everything it's hurts so much because I cancelled my work just because of him
Y'all are so pretty. The guys are so dumb to be testing you.
@@user-nf3gy8xs2t I would start making plans after work, or on a day off so that way if they cancel you weren't taking m time off for nothing... I know how men work so I don't get my hopes up if they cancel I play it cool as well like ok I'm just going to make other plans, then if they do it again then I set my boundaries,
like I notice this keeps happening is there something I should know, I say I feel like we're both on different pages with things and I'm gonna be moving on..
men def need boundaries and walk away if needed..
At my age of 43 yo. I never been in healthy relationship so idk what's love is. Tired of toxic & abusive relationship. So I walk away, i rather be alone than being all alone even in relationship.
I would say some women's/men's out there are lucky when they loved by their worth.
For some of us who been in toxic relationship or whatever negative relationship. Most dates for sex only. No matter how old these men are, they still keep playing women for their pleasure or like wise. That's Sad ..
I feel you..😐
Today's men really not taught to be chivalrous but game players and most men don't understand the difference between connection building and power playing even if they do they sorta choose to power play ..wasting their own life's time and non suspecting others
I don't think anyone deserves to be in a relationship with someone who starts it testing anyone in a first date. Use your time to be with someone you can be yourselves, otherwise you will fare better off alone...
So true.
Is this guy even married. He probably analyzes everything. All or nothing is very true. However many people have come from broken relationships and they must move on from their head and heart.
I have ADHD, I dont do well waiting. I automatically delete all contact with a man who drags their feet on purpose. I cant stand things hanging over my head.
Same
yeah!! i either dump the guy or self-dump, coz i don't want to deal with the anxiety. low value men will intentionally cause u anxiety & pain while feigning innocence. RUN. thank God for ADHD!
@@nurazlin965 love love love that thank you
@@mmommo10 thank u for ur support, but there's nothing to love about dumping the person u love because they don't know how to treat u right. 😔
@@mmommo10 just realised its not that he doesn't know how to treat me right, its that he doesn't want to treat me right. i guess my ugly cries gives him the validation that he matters.
Don’t send multiple messages…. Let him respond…. If not happy with delay…. Move on…. Don’t play any games.
Love shouldn’t be this hard. I mean, it seems like everyone wants to play games.
it is because people have unhealed childhood trauma.
@@user-qi6hq5iq1f Not necessarily childhood trauma, just unhealed wounds
he is stupid. i do not play games.
Make him chase you. Let him contact you first. Busy yourself with friends or taking care of yourself. No one but you will put you first. You deserve you!!
Love isn't that hard. Most of the time it's simply not love.
Thank you, Ismael. You give good points and advice. I’m sixty-five years old and single, still dating. Men my age, are still playing these games, which I am so aware of. It doesn’t matter how old these men are, they still keep playing women.
Thank you Yolanda. I have men in my family in their 60's still playing those silly games, so I know exactly what you mean.
Yolanda, I agree girl. I am 62, getting ready to go on the sites, and yes, you are right, I am dumbfounded that men our age are still playing their stupid, childish games. Where are you located? I am in Valdosta, Georgia.
it's mind blowing to me personally for I would have thought older men would have more respect and value good relationships. Depressing. I won't be sucked into any of their games. Haven't encountered a genuine man yet. Think they've gone extinct. 🙃
I have just turned 70, in the same position, and have realised that my dates are in fact job interviews. I’m interested in a man’s personality, interests, values, attractiveness. He’s interested in my skill set as a potential housekeeper/carer.
Because the old school advice most men received was to>>> "treat em mean...& keep em keen !" 👎👎👎
Wow! You've just described the exact behaviour of the most confusing emotionally avoidant man I've ever known. I think it backfired for him... everytime he stood me up I sent him photos of me out having better fun with other people. Wish I'd know it was a technique a year ago... thank you for educating me now.
I experienced a man like this just recently. It was so confusing. So I ended it. Your video has given me clarity. Thanks.
me too
This isn’t How Men Test You- this is Red Flags To Look Out For 😆💀💀
he is just stupid.
Women are beginning to not care anymore. Search 4B movement. I'm not necessarily a member of 4B, but I could give two shits about what men think! And I don't have a problem keeping a man's attention. I still have 2 men from my past of 10 to 20 years ago still reaching out to me. Ladies, live your own life, follow your bliss and take care of yourself and he will show up!
Amen!!❤
lol
1. Time delay
2. Testing in person
3.conceal feelings
Thank goodness I had parents that I could talk to about anything and they weren't afraid to answer me honestly ❤
Good for you 💪
Moving forward to me means make it better. Never bitter .... Moving forward 🤷🏿♀️
why this have to be so hard? I feel like I need to graduate from College to date a man 🙄🙄🙄
HAHA😂 #SameHere
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So truuue! 😕
😂😂
It is not. You just need to understand and believe you are worth of nothing less but authenticity, honesty, love and respect. Anything less, you need to walk away from.
All these games makes me wanna throw up. I'm good. If you can't be authentic and put the effort in and actually keep plans with a date then I don't want you. And if you bring up sex talk early in the dating stage then I move on. 💯
Master manipulater ... Thats the word I use for the men that were using my feelings for their benefits. I understood after looking back on the years gone. Watch out ladies. Be self sufficient first.
Well said. I agree with you 💯
Age & manners come into this for me too, if someone can't be bothered to reply to me now, I just let them go as I'm too busy with my own life to go chasing someone with no manners & if they can't be a grown up, I don't want to know anyway!
I appreciate you took the time to leave such a lovely comment.
This just describes emotionally avoidant and disorganized attachment styles. I can’t believe it’s being taught as dating advice.
I'm so happy I am no longer emotionally needy. In my senior years I'm happy to be alone or with friends. No more desire me games or games of emotional manipulation. Freedom on an epic scale.
I hear you, I am 77 years old . My husband of 46 years married died 3 years ago. I am staying single and alone for what’s left of the rest of my life👍
This is why I need men friends! Thank you my sibling is dead and these things are so difficult to get thru.
Thank youuuu😊😊😊Such awesome advice as usual. I can't wait until your next video.
You are a gem lsmael and your advice is truly the best. Thank you for all that you do. God bless you.
Thank you so much for this video😊it really helps me see things so much clearer now⭐️
Mr. Gomez III, thank you for this video. At 40, I am single and have probably failed some of the tests for the last 15 years. The older you get the less time you have for nonsense and games. One of the tests I can say I passed and i am proud that i walked away from what looks like a toxic man. I am not toxic and want to maintain a relationship for the sake of "maybe one day he will really show interest..."I really like your channel and thank you for being honest.
You make excellent points.
Ismael the way you communicate is so clear. You are helping so many.
Thank you so much.
PS we have no idea what the guys are being advised. The clip was shocking. I hope that’s not typical.
Maybe you should advise the guys too.
I can tell you that video was just a glimpse of what's out there. I've seen a lot worse. I'm doing my best with helping out guys as well, especially those in their 20s.
Look up pick up artists and the red pill. That is the most popular dating advice for men.
Love this advice-super important.
Perfect information. Much appreciated. 😊
your videos are always helpful. thank you Ismael❤
I love this. This person is turning it around. A lot of women do this to men as well. Oh, the games people play.
Make the man chase you. Dont be hungry fir attention.
Yeah that’s right…. When a man does it’s toxic, but when a women does it it’s not…
that will not work even if he did that you will throw him up.
I'm so glad I found you on youtube. I'm in the grandmother status so I've lived many chapters. You really are wise and helpful. I enjoy listening to your clarity. Thank you.
2:18 THANK YOU FOR THE TEA BRO 🫖☕
Wow..thanks for your advice. I learn a lot.❤
@SaveTheMessenger there are so many men onnthe Internet trying to do what you do, but there is always a hint of misogyny in the way they talk about woman. You're the first guy I see who is just respectfully doing his thing! Raised right, that is attractiv!
thank you for this video, that's really helpful!! and something to remind yourself when you feel that something's off. although the hardest part is to realise it all while being in this type of thing...
That's very sweet of you. Thanks.
Thanks for your advice
Ever so glad to find your channel, Ismael.
Thank you! Great advice!
Awesome. Thank you 🙏🏻
Love this
Realizing it's best to forgo these interactions altogether!
I am glad to watch your videos. Very relatable
Glad you like them! 🙌
I needed to hear this.. thanks ❤
I’m glad you found my video. Thank you 🙏🏻
You are doing great work here, Ismael. Thank you.❤
So nice of you to say. Thanks 🙏🏻
This video is golden 🙌🏽 just went through this, and I got up outta there! The timing was perfect!💙💯
I'm glad my video found you.
Thank you so much!!
Thank you so much.
You literally just described all my relationships 😢
At least you're self-aware dear. That's the first step for changing your life around.
My boyfriend just left me a week ago and moved across the country a week ago , I have 2 first dates next week. I need this
Please heal yourself first before enter a new relationship. That doesn't sounds healthy. I did that also in the past after being cheated. It backfired bad at me. Today I'm happy married and watch these videos for entertainment... My husband never played games. If you feel being tested run for the hills...
Can the sisters say narcissist? Block and move on ❤ Next....
I was about to lose faith in men, until your video turned up, and I cliked on it. Thank you so much for making those kind of videos. Thanks for your kindness and honesty
Your comment made me smile. I appreciate you.
THANK YOU for this video. It took me a long time to realize that the last guy I dated I obsessed OVER way badly. I can see my bad part in that. I'll work on this myself. I appreciate you teaching me
I’m glad my video helped 🙏🏻
Spot on!
Much appreciated 🙌
Men are getting the same advice on yt. It's no wonder we're all single. 🤷🏼 I've begun to believe long-term relationships are not even possible or preferable, anymore. Just live in the present. Enjoy today and don't worry about tomorrow.
Facts
these stupid advisors have created it difficult for us.
Thanks for sharing! 💯
I m gonna die alone 😂
Me am already dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣 my funeral is on next Month yooooooo I was tired of this one ☝️ how to get or to loose 🫣😫😫😫
Me too… it’s ok. At least we won’t be miserable.
Me too. I think every guy I've known has emotional issues. I've given up looking 😂😂
😂😂😂
Thank you for the advice
Any time. Thank you 🙏🏻
Nice talk
Thank you sooooo much Ismail. These tips are really helpful and you explained very well Allah bless you
My pleasure. Thank you 🙌
Thank you thank you thank you so much this changed my life ❤❤❤❤
You are so welcome. This made my day 🙏🏻
very helpful.
i am curious if there are any "tests" that would actually be a good sign that he is trying to figure out if its a compatible connection
I dont want to play games. I walk away everytime.
WOW WOW WOW!!! 😮 You have a very Powerful Insight!!!😯 You amaze me!!! 👏 👏👏 Thank You Thank You!!! 😃 for sharing your clear and powerful wisdom!!! 👐💪💪💕 God bless you and yours!!! 🤗💕🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for taking the time to leave such a wonderful comment 🙌
Very true
Super thank you
Thank you too 💪
Agreed that men don’t force an issue
Hey sir , can you make a specific video on how to build up or improve emotional intelligence ?
I will be so grateful, thank you 😊
I lived the first one situation he tested me and he losted me in the same time i dont have time to play with this kind of immatures Men i already have a kid ! Thanks but not Thanks 👋🏾
Hey Ismael, thanks posting this video. Your videos are very helpful. Please post a video on how to test men & how to challenge men to understand if he truly loves me
Nice
I hate games. I would be done instantly. Unlesss he appoligized for his delayed response.
Best mindset 💪
oooh ladies - listen up. I was on a train and there was a group of young men across from me. They were all talking and kidding around . they started talking about a girl. one guy pulled out his phone and texted her and they all were part of it and waited to see what would happen. She responded within 3 minutes and they all were whooping and jumping up and down and high fiving each other. The guy texted her back - can't wait to see you tonight type of stuff and then put the phone away with a big grin for his buddies = I'm getting laid tonight. This whole thing for the men was just to see if this girl would take the bait which by extension leads to him having sex. But I am sure the girl was thinking that the text meant the guy was interested in her and that he liked her. So that night's date is her thinking he likes her and him thinking she fell for it and he is going through the motions of a date with her to get laid. After seeing that, I swore I would NEVER respond to a guy's text. NOT EVER.
The dude you referenced has really good advice though 😂
I want to live in Bridgerton times! Where men actually courted women and women weren’t expected to put out after a $100 dinner. 😂
My guy..I'd notice that he would read my messages on Messenger, but then they'd somehow show up unread later. This is how I learned you can "unread" messages!
I honestly could never figure it out, why he'd do that. We weren't dating or anything. Just someone I knew for years. He'd just become separated and..it's like, I could tell we were headed in a romantic direction. But if I got too close..he'd pull crap like this.
Not good to be too agreeable
Let them test… like me or not I owe nothing to nobody but to be myself. 😊
Woaaaw ❤
One important thing is that we tend to enter a relationship with unfinished business. So if we have deep down the feeling of "not being worthy ", we will fall for every guy who gives us attention, instead of intention. That's the whole point. First, we must change our list of superficial things what a guy has to be and than we'll give the right guy a chance. I needed therapy and lot's of self observation to heal. Today I'm happy married but the times before that have been really rough. Self sabotage isn't a joke. And there are lot's of great guys out there but normally they are not the obvious charming guys but the cute shy nerds. Maybe let's think about that 🤔 😊
Should women be initiating dates, by say the fourth month into dating a man? Is initiating a conversation 'running after'? Because there are coaches for women who say this, that women should respond only and never initiate. Yet there are men feeling like this means a woman is doing the minimum or not that interested. It's confusing.
I think is completely fine for you to plan a date sometimes. But as a woman I've seen it work best when you do it once in a while to show appreciation. That way he keeps taking the role of the initiator.
@@SaveTheMessenger this makes sense, thanks
@@SaveTheMessengerwhy should women give the man all the power?
Tks from 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🌷
When a man does that to me I stops rebelling for the amount of time he waited rebelling my text
OMG...the example.
It’s all about winning for them
Tests? Are we in school? Next
Ishmael I need to know who’s channel you showed. I want to see what these men are being taught. It seems very toxic. Be safe out here ladies.
Casey Zander y’all go get the game
Oo..kay.. these happened to me .. but my ex is a woman 🗿 so it caught me off guard when i realized all the sublte manipulation she has been using..
in contrary, there's this guy i met and we've been friends for 8years now though i kinda ran away from him cuz he seems too good to be true..so long story short, after my first breakup up at 26 last year,we smh crossed paths again irl and rn getting closer.. he stayed single all those years because of me..
the best part is, he's emotionally expressive but not in a bad way.. I'm much more logical than him in fact.. i struggle with my emotions part while he expresses himself well.. when he's down ,he just wanna vent or cry while you just listen and be there for him because mostly it's the kind of thing that has little solutions like grieving for example..
While the way i express myself is more in intellectual way.. i want to make sense of my feelings and find a way to control or lessen it 😅 so I'd say we compliment each other very well because we're learning from each other..
This is so funny the guy I’ve been dating has been following and seemingly using that blurred out guys advice! And it’s not working 😂
Ismael, my minor son and I were defrauded and I'd be interested in sharing my story with you to see if you want to publicly share it and warn other women so they can protect themselves and their children from having the same thing happen to them.
effortless feeling"?
It felt like emotional torture!
Dump and run!!
dont play with that😂😂😂
No father or brother but I have you now. Mahalo
This just made my day 🙏
Im in a relationship but i dont feel like i am right now. I feel like im waiting for something to change that wont change how long should i wait, ive been with this person for a short time it just doesnt feel like a relationship
Healthy tests are fine...God tests..to see underlying negative reactions. But when he tests wishing you will act unhinged or triggers you to chase him🏃♀️
Tbh idk if I have ever truly been in a "relationship"
My takeaway: trusting men is a wild move, would not recommend
True
Without a doubt
That very first part of this video sounds very typical lol