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What should be done? I need to breakup with my partner who wants to take a break from our relationship to see other people, he wants to keep this relationship a secret and get involved with other girls, but I am not okay with that. I want to leave him, but I am also the one begging for transparency in the relationship. I can see him burdened because of the relationship status he has, he wants to come out of it, become shackle free and keep seeing other women's without any hesitation, he says he's unable to cheat me even if I let him go and have other women. Actually I permitted him for it, because, that's all he asked for, I also knew he would not be able to cheat me, even with my permission, he will feel that guilt and will not go anywhere, and that's happening. But, he still wants to go to other women and that pisses me off, we fight like animals now. I am not ready to hear his name from other women's mouth, this is my men, and my man wants to go to other women, after breakup (he wants break up because he doesn't want to feel guilty of being with other woman), how am I supposed to deal with it? Therefore I want to become stronger I want to leave him myself I don't want anyone to feel struck with me I also want freedom I have had my eyes only for him, past 3years, but that didn't give him satisfaction. Now, I want a proper 1:1 relationship, 100% involvement, but no shady side to it. I want to become confident first, i I want to be self sufficient
1. Insecurities about your physical appearance 2. Past relationship details 3. Family conflicts 4. His habits that annoy you 5. Your friends negative comments about him
I agree with all the points. It's better to stay single. I've never come across anyone who accepts my clean lifestyle. They love my appearance & nature but then feel inferior & begin to critisize me saying I'm not normal coz I eat same food everyday & have the same routine. That's when I realized, toxic people think simplicity is boring coz they derive meaning from outside. While the real ones have a rich inner world because discipline = self love = self mastery.
I hear you. My habits differ slightly from yours but I prefer myself to a crowd. Small circle, less drama. More self awareness, less of expending energy all around. Namaste
There should be no rule for what to say and done. Find a partner that Being with each other Naturally like drinking water. Life is too short to handle those ungrateful +difficult +lack of empathy. Be with someone who is clearly your person. Spend time with someone who really makes you happy.
If a girl is insecure about her looks, she shouldn’t be dating until she’s secure within herself and shows a certain level of emotional maturity. It was your mistake in selecting her. Past relationship details are extremely important and insightful. It will help you to understand who your person is because our experiences shape us. So, to not investigate these past experiences means you will make these mistakes again with the person. And the people who do not spend the time to understand people’s past also shows inexperience in understanding relationships and human psychology.
I think its more about moderation, than it is about avoiding sharing these things. Sure, in the beginning of a new relationship, it might be best to leave these details out, unless directly asked -because nobody likes a liar. But if youre in this for the long haul, i think its totally normal to share these things. The thing you dont want to do, is overload your partner with always talking about this stuff. Ladies, youre not ugly enough to find something about your appearance to complain about every day. And thats a fact. And nobody wants to regularly hear about their partners prior relationship activities. But socially, if youre always the one who never has anything to share about past experiences, whether youre with a group of friends and youre joking about the embarrassing moments youve all had, or youre with your partner, privately discussing past traumas youve faced.. etc.. if you never share the things youve been through, you look like youre hiding something. Were human. And that means that perfection is literally unattainable. So we have all faced something thats caused us to have difficulty in some situation or other, and we have also all done something we are not so proud of to some extent. Its good to talk about these things, as it helps us to process stuff in a healthy and beneficial way. Just dont make these things your go-to talking points.
Hi I never ever told a guy nothing !! Let him fantasize who you are until your long married and then don’t say anything girls seriously ok. He doesn’t have to know your past relationships. Or your bad relationships etc. they don’t need to know the dirt ok 🙏🙏🙏🥰
In my 40 year affection less marriage i have always been faithful, & completely truthful. But, i held a deep hurt in my heart for about 2 weeks or so. I told him over the phone when he called to tell me he was on his way back from work. That he made 2 things perfectly clear to me, when he screamed he wanted me dead, god damn you to hell,why can’t you just die, and He wants me to shut up, just god damn shut up. I’m glad i let him know the truth. Because I’m no longer in the illusion that i live in a home…because in a home I felt Loved. Thank you for the help you give others, your advice is solid. But, people need to know when people are older sometimes their spouse becomes a very different person than the one they married.
Ismael . I think everything you've said here applies just as much to men as to women. So rather than wonder or attempt to guess what we think or hope our other person is interested in or wants to know about us, why not simply ask them? What's most important to them about us? What do the think they have the right or entitlement to know about us? Take it from there....
Your advice is sound! Your examples are relevant! You present in a fair and unbiased perspective! But what touched me the most is that you refer to us women as ‘beautiful’ and I thank you for that!!
And DO NOT tell him how much money you have in savings, CD's, 401's, etc. The man I'm seeing knows I just inherited money after my fathers passing. He's already asked me to invest $50,000 in his real estate deal.
I am new to your channel, impressive quality work! I am simply amazed how much you know about psychology and relationship, and how clear you present the topics, practical, with good reasoning. I can see your advice would help a lot of people!
Indeed, don't share insecurities. Two more reasons - if your partner is a narcissist, he will weaponize that insecurity against you later. And final reason: paying less attention to that particular insecurity will take your attention off off it, too.
It was really very helpful. 💯💯. I have sent this video to many of my family and friends. I have the habit of oversharing and I thought that he needs to know but sharing about my past was so detrimental to me as it was used against me. I was heartbroken again in the same way (almost same scenerio)
I am still looking out for a truly gentle (kind) man ... my first husband wasn't one; he was a people pleaser who wanted to be liked and above all admired. That is a very different type of personality, and when he turned against me to be free for another woman (and lifestyle!) he became so cruel in a way which I did not think he had it in him 😢 ... never, ever AGAIN 🎉
all 5 points apply to both (!) genders honestly, not only to ladies, dear Ismael :P I hate hearing from a man about past relationships in details, it is repelling and very unnecessary. Insecurities about physical appearance is not attractive to hear from a man as well. Thanks for correcting yourself and continuing on the rest of the points talking about 'partners' not only 'you ladies do this' - both genders do that.
Just know that you are a whole human being before meeting him,if u need company,be with yourself first,n if you don't enjoy Ur company,u won't enjoy being with him..
Looks like I shared with him all 5 secrets, so he said let's be friends and tell me more. I am kidding, but it's sort of how I ruined my great relationship.
Hey! I shared my mistake with my partner that I did unintentionally . And after that our realtion is not good enough now. What Can I do to make it normal again?
What u say makes sense I always thought being honest n openminded helped but it has its downsides thanks for the guidance it helps a lot coz one gets vulnerable in these situations u explained so explicitly. Thank ❤🌹🙏you IG n God bless 🙏
I disagree about the annoying habits. If they keep annoying you, and they would also hold him back -Dont tell him, but film him ( snoring, licking lips, picking skin, chewing with mouth open) and let him see the evidence . If that doesn't help, nothing will.
Sounds like you shouldn't tell him anything. What's the point then? Aren't we suppose to be the safe space of one another? Obviously be stable within yourself because over sharing isn't healthy for both sides, but not sharing overall insecurities, family situations, things that bother you? Sounds toxic.
@@SaveTheMessenger I don't understand, why would he seek for my attention if he is clearly getting it elsewhere with the girl he's getting closer with??? I love really hard and I love unconditionally, I still love him even if he doesn't, is that abnormal when we truly love a person in this way??
When women complain about certain areas of their body, it’s not because they don’t like it. Actually, they love it. They are fishing for a compliment. Which in itself is extremely irritating.
This man is wrong, so wrong about a partner not being able to fix insecurities. First, let me say that some attention hogs use insecurities to gain the attention they desire. In this case they really don't have insecurities to start with. We can earn people's trust, and some people are damaged by past relationships and left that way. We probably have some insecurities ourselves that we need help with. Most everyone does today. Earning trust should be expected in this day and age, and that's all it takes to fix insecurities. You just have to live up to exactly what you say to someone, no lies and no deceit, and have a great understanding of exactly what it is your partner needs and be able to communicate and work with them to the best of your ability.
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Male Behavior Decoded™
My Best-Selling Guidebooks to Help You Experience Deep Love With A Man
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What should be done?
I need to breakup with my partner who wants to take a break from our relationship to see other people, he wants to keep this relationship a secret and get involved with other girls, but I am not okay with that.
I want to leave him, but I am also the one begging for transparency in the relationship. I can see him burdened because of the relationship status he has, he wants to come out of it, become shackle free and keep seeing other women's without any hesitation, he says he's unable to cheat me even if I let him go and have other women. Actually I permitted him for it, because, that's all he asked for,
I also knew he would not be able to cheat me, even with my permission, he will feel that guilt and will not go anywhere, and that's happening.
But, he still wants to go to other women and that pisses me off, we fight like animals now.
I am not ready to hear his name from other women's mouth, this is my men, and my man wants to go to other women, after breakup (he wants break up because he doesn't want to feel guilty of being with other woman), how am I supposed to deal with it?
Therefore I want to become stronger
I want to leave him myself
I don't want anyone to feel struck with me
I also want freedom
I have had my eyes only for him, past 3years, but that didn't give him satisfaction. Now, I want a proper 1:1 relationship, 100% involvement, but no shady side to it. I want to become confident first, i I want to be self sufficient
1. Insecurities about your physical appearance
2. Past relationship details
3. Family conflicts
4. His habits that annoy you
5. Your friends negative comments about him
Thank you
Thanks so much!!!🥰
You’re awesome! Thank you so much.
@@Emily_Paris I don’t know you but you are awesome too! 😊
Number 2 is SO not always a good idea as they need to know!!!!
I agree with all the points. It's better to stay single. I've never come across anyone who accepts my clean lifestyle. They love my appearance & nature but then feel inferior & begin to critisize me saying I'm not normal coz I eat same food everyday & have the same routine. That's when I realized, toxic people think simplicity is boring coz they derive meaning from outside. While the real ones have a rich inner world because discipline = self love = self mastery.
That's such a powerful statement. I know exactly what you mean.
Hii lorena thanks for your opinion it feels better
I hear you. My habits differ slightly from yours but I prefer myself to a crowd. Small circle, less drama. More self awareness, less of expending energy all around. Namaste
Well said!
Truths!!!
I was with my husband for 30 years and there are some things he didn't need to know about my previous life.
There should be no rule for what to say and done.
Find a partner that
Being with each other Naturally like drinking water.
Life is too short to handle those ungrateful +difficult +lack of empathy.
Be with someone who is clearly your person.
Spend time with someone who really makes you happy.
If a girl is insecure about her looks, she shouldn’t be dating until she’s secure within herself and shows a certain level of emotional maturity. It was your mistake in selecting her.
Past relationship details are extremely important and insightful. It will help you to understand who your person is because our experiences shape us. So, to not investigate these past experiences means you will make these mistakes again with the person. And the people who do not spend the time to understand people’s past also shows inexperience in understanding relationships and human psychology.
truth is fun
My Grandmother said ..... "Keep the Mystique". As an older woman I can tell you that she was absolutely right.
This is very good advice!
If a woman thinks a man is sharing all if his “secrets” she’s truly lost her marbles!
Men have No secrets, we know you are not interested.
I think its more about moderation, than it is about avoiding sharing these things. Sure, in the beginning of a new relationship, it might be best to leave these details out, unless directly asked -because nobody likes a liar. But if youre in this for the long haul, i think its totally normal to share these things. The thing you dont want to do, is overload your partner with always talking about this stuff. Ladies, youre not ugly enough to find something about your appearance to complain about every day. And thats a fact. And nobody wants to regularly hear about their partners prior relationship activities. But socially, if youre always the one who never has anything to share about past experiences, whether youre with a group of friends and youre joking about the embarrassing moments youve all had, or youre with your partner, privately discussing past traumas youve faced.. etc.. if you never share the things youve been through, you look like youre hiding something. Were human. And that means that perfection is literally unattainable. So we have all faced something thats caused us to have difficulty in some situation or other, and we have also all done something we are not so proud of to some extent. Its good to talk about these things, as it helps us to process stuff in a healthy and beneficial way. Just dont make these things your go-to talking points.
Yes
So true specially about the family conflicts it can turn against you
Just be yourself.
Also don't share your responsibilities towards your family in the initial days of dating.
meaning
How so?
Why???
Hi I never ever told a guy nothing !! Let him fantasize who you are until your long married and then don’t say anything girls seriously ok. He doesn’t have to know your past relationships. Or your bad relationships etc. they don’t need to know the dirt ok 🙏🙏🙏🥰
Got it 👌🏽
What do you say if he asks about your past relationships, and how many there were?
It's true! Never say it all!
I love how you get straight to the point and sum it up in an 8 min video not some long dragging video
I appreciate you helping us women ♥️🐐
In my 40 year affection less marriage i have always been faithful, & completely truthful. But, i held a deep hurt in my heart for about 2 weeks or so.
I told him over the phone when he called to tell me he was on his way back from work. That he made 2 things perfectly clear to me, when he screamed he wanted me dead, god damn you to hell,why can’t you just die, and He wants me to shut up, just god damn shut up. I’m glad i let him know the truth. Because I’m no longer in the illusion that i live in a home…because in a home I felt Loved.
Thank you for the help you give others, your advice is solid. But, people need to know when people are older sometimes their spouse becomes a very different person than the one they married.
Relationships sound like war. No, thanks.
Well said!
Yes! I feel the same. Don't bother😮
Ismael . I think everything you've said here applies just as much to men as to women. So rather than wonder or attempt to guess what we think or hope our other person is interested in or wants to know about us, why not simply ask them? What's most important to them about us? What do the think they have the right or entitlement to know about us? Take it from there....
Your advice is sound! Your examples are relevant! You present in a fair and unbiased perspective! But what touched me the most is that you refer to us women as ‘beautiful’ and I thank you for that!!
❤Yes! All points made are essential to a healthy relationship with your significant other. ❤
And DO NOT tell him how much money you have in savings, CD's, 401's, etc. The man I'm seeing knows I just inherited money after my fathers passing. He's already asked me to invest $50,000 in his real estate deal.
Stay away from that man.
@@SaveTheMessengerThank you for your advice. He creeps me out...
Awful
I am new to your channel, impressive quality work! I am simply amazed how much you know about psychology and relationship, and how clear you present the topics, practical, with good reasoning. I can see your advice would help a lot of people!
I really like your videos, best advice ever!
What about sharing your health status...if you have an "invisible illness" for instance...? When should you disclose medical information? 😕🤷🏼♀️
Now THAT one I would be really interested to know as well
I just started seeing someone and I'm not sure at what point to tell him of my Epilepsy.
What are some subtle signs of healthy jealousy?
Could u do a video on that?
Thanx.
Indeed, don't share insecurities. Two more reasons - if your partner is a narcissist, he will weaponize that insecurity against you later. And final reason: paying less attention to that particular insecurity will take your attention off off it, too.
It was really very helpful. 💯💯. I have sent this video to many of my family and friends.
I have the habit of oversharing and I thought that he needs to know but sharing about my past was so detrimental to me as it was used against me.
I was heartbroken again in the same way (almost same scenerio)
Great Job! Great Advice! Thank you
So helpful thanks
Glad it was helpful to you.
Thank you Ismael. These things help me a lot!!
I am still looking out for a truly gentle (kind) man ... my first husband wasn't one; he was a people pleaser who wanted to be liked and above all admired. That is a very different type of personality, and when he turned against me to be free for another woman (and lifestyle!) he became so cruel in a way which I did not think he had it in him 😢 ... never, ever AGAIN 🎉
Yeah, it’s shocking how determinedly evil a former love partner can be.
Thank you
Wise words!
Great video!!
all 5 points apply to both (!) genders honestly, not only to ladies, dear Ismael :P I hate hearing from a man about past relationships in details, it is repelling and very unnecessary. Insecurities about physical appearance is not attractive to hear from a man as well. Thanks for correcting yourself and continuing on the rest of the points talking about 'partners' not only 'you ladies do this' - both genders do that.
Thank you
It was so useful.
Always my pleasure.
I told him all of those… I guess that’s why things don’t work out well
I actually believe that over sharing lessens man's attraction to his woman.
Best advice ❤
I never tell anyone they can use whatever you told them later.
Just know that you are a whole human being before meeting him,if u need company,be with yourself first,n if you don't enjoy Ur company,u won't enjoy being with him..
Looks like I shared with him all 5 secrets, so he said let's be friends and tell me more. I am kidding, but it's sort of how I ruined my great relationship.
At what stage can these details be shared in a relationship?
Trust me, don't make the mistake, secrets are secrets for a reason,
Thank you.❤
Thanks
Hey! I shared my mistake with my partner that I did unintentionally . And after that our realtion is not good enough now. What Can I do to make it normal again?
Thanks so much ❤
Thankyou bhaiya❤
I did all the mistakes except for numbet 4 . No wonder i am ghosted. He ignored me last week. How to rectify the mistakes?
What u say makes sense I always thought being honest n openminded helped but it has its downsides thanks for the guidance it helps a lot coz one gets vulnerable in these situations u explained so explicitly. Thank ❤🌹🙏you IG n God bless 🙏
Don't share many negative things altogether
The best
Brilliant
Oh... naw!
My teenage and early 20's dating experiences HAVE to be shared, because they are f'n FUNNEEEEEE 😂!
I disagree about the annoying habits. If they keep annoying you, and they would also hold him back -Dont tell him, but film him ( snoring, licking lips, picking skin, chewing with mouth open) and let him see the evidence . If that doesn't help, nothing will.
Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing.
God, I have been realising this lately.
I given my I'd to my czn even he left me he on the other hand never tell me passwords of his phone 😢
Sounds like you shouldn't tell him anything.
What's the point then?
Aren't we suppose to be the safe space of one another?
Obviously be stable within yourself because over sharing isn't healthy for both sides, but not sharing overall insecurities, family situations, things that bother you?
Sounds toxic.
It's about balance. Like you point out, oversharing is what can cause problems in the long run.
A partner having a donkey diet is hundred times better than an alcoholic partner 🙂
Does that mean you do not tell him if you cheated in a previous relationship?
Nope, tell him that, he needs to know.
@@jackdeniston6150why does he need to know?
If you want him never to trust you then yes tell him
I neaver did that and,you have too take,one another fore who thy are and us all,and I could careless a bout eny one thing's,
They need God!
First comment !!
Hey Ismael, why would he make me jealous though when he made it clear he is no longer interested in as he initially thought????
Even if he's not interested, he likes the attention...
@@SaveTheMessenger I don't understand, why would he seek for my attention if he is clearly getting it elsewhere with the girl he's getting closer with??? I love really hard and I love unconditionally, I still love him even if he doesn't, is that abnormal when we truly love a person in this way??
He’s probably a narcissist.
I did all he said..😢
Nope your partner should be able to listen to your problems with your family.
❤❤❤
When women complain about certain areas of their body, it’s not because they don’t like it. Actually, they love it. They are fishing for a compliment. Which in itself is extremely irritating.
Sometimes, not always.
i wont criticize at all
👍👍👍❤️💯
Can be trust Then why the fuck you’d have a Partner
Ismail I want to see you in more fun colour, like yellow. Let me know how can I send you one. ❤
For a start I would never date a vegan
😂
This man is wrong, so wrong about a partner not being able to fix insecurities. First, let me say that some attention hogs use insecurities to gain the attention they desire. In this case they really don't have insecurities to start with. We can earn people's trust, and some people are damaged by past relationships and left that way. We probably have some insecurities ourselves that we need help with. Most everyone does today. Earning trust should be expected in this day and age, and that's all it takes to fix insecurities. You just have to live up to exactly what you say to someone, no lies and no deceit, and have a great understanding of exactly what it is your partner needs and be able to communicate and work with them to the best of your ability.
Excuse me sir but it sounds like you’ve dated a couple of narcissistic/cluster B personalities 🙃
🤍🩵💜
Thank you
Another great video!