The only thing men understand is ACTIONS. This has been proven time and time again. I don't know why women refuse to believe it. Men don't care about your words, men don't care about your tears, men don't care about your tantrums, men don't care about your anger. You know why? Despite all that, you are STILL there, so he is still rewarded for his bad/toxic behavior. Yes, his behavior is HIS fault, not yours. But your insistence on continuing in the relationship to "work it out" is all the incentive he needs to keep dogging you.
I was told I was uncaring. Ok. I left quietly and he suddenly said I was a wonderful person, the best, he messed up. Nope. Living my best PEACEFUL AF life.
@@lovinglife-tq4pv True. Unfortunately, I have had that experience. (No drama was created because my ex-fiancé spoke to me directly, but still a nuisance.)
The most dangerous time in a relationship for a woman is when she leaves. There are soooo many women in the grave who went to meet their ex "one last time for closure." Move in silence, ladies, it may just save your life
I've never argued with a man I was leaving. It doesn't even matter who, what, why, when or where anymore. He's not relevant anymore. Never been in an abusive relationship. I saw red flags in men I dated and never gave them the benefit of a doubt. I see red flags as a man testing boundaries and I was clear from the first date that he wasn't for me. Happily married 20 years to a wonderful man. Don't waste a second on a loser.
Yes, you’re right. There is absolutely no reason to meet up for one last time. It’s like people forget all of the reasons they left in the first place because they need closure. You can get closure without seeing the abuser.
When you tell a guy you’re leaving, he’s not gonna believe you anyway. Their egos will not let them believe you’d ever leave. My ex husband didn’t believe I was leaving even when I got a job, got an apartment, called the movers, cut myself out of all of the pictures in our home so that he was left with the person he cares most about, and he came home to an empty house. He called me a week later crying about how could I just leave and not call him?😂 I told him don’t be upset that I’m finally over him like he’s been over me for the past 4 years. He still expected me to go with him to a Yankees game for his birthday the next month, and he told me about it the day before. I did not go. I asked him what part of “divorce” is so hard for him to understand? I paid for the whole divorce; we never even went to court. I wanted my freedom at any cost.
Can I just say congratulations 🎊 👏🥂 to you dear enjoy your freedom His not mad that the relationship is over but rather that you got your freedom at last
I've commented this before but my divorce was finalized when I was 23. At 22 I found out he was cheating, and he'd started being a dick anyway. Fine. I slowly started moving my things into my car, selling things, etc. He didn't even notice. I stopped sleeping with him by making excuses. One day he came back from work and I was gone and all my shit was gone and later I had him served with divorce papers. It was an easy dissolution, but took a year. He didn't contest the divorce but he begged me to tell him what happened. I never spoke to him again. To this day he randomly emails me to beg me to tell him what happened. He knows what he did. I know what he did.
He know why you left. He just itching for an opportunity to Gaslight, lie, manipulate then devalue and dump you via communication and then ignore you so he can save his raggedy ego.
Yeah, I left quietly, and my ex tried to use emotional manipulation to get me back. I believe he said something like "so your going to leave me like everyone else or abandon me too?" and I was like, yep, bye now.
@ccannon1 Honestly, at that point, I didn't want to waste any more energy on him, not even petty and spite, because he had drained enough emotional labor out of me already. I was done, and I refused to accept the lack of luster love he offered.
I was the manager of a store in the mall and the part time girls husband would sit on the bench outside the store her whole shift she would take her coffee break and her lunch with him she was in an abusive prison.. He would watch her work through the big glass store windows all day. So when she was ready to run.. me and the girls at the store let her go out the stockroom door one day to her aunts waiting car in the the garbage pick up area of the back of the mall....poof she was gone. Bye bye part time girl! Be free! And the husband couldn't see her through the mall windows... You could see him wondering after a few hours. And at closing time we just locked the doors and went out the back. For a few days he came around looking for her and we just said shes not on shift today. Her aunt put her on a flight to Toronto but we didnt tell him hin that. Lol! bye bye abusive imprisonment asshole.
I was in the hospital and when I left I texted my mom, I was picking up my stuff and moving in with my bf family, got a new number, changed my social medias, and didn't look back. All she has is an email I can't delete rn and even then, I just delete without reading. Sometimes, you just gotta put yourself first.
Because they think that's why you left: because he hadn't proposed. Men think that it's such an "honour" to be their "chosen' domestic slave! Not anymore it isn't!
My aunt on my father's side of the family was with a guy who would always belittle her but one day it so bad that he slapped her and she waited until he went to work and called my dad and other male relatives to pack up her stuff and she left him.
They start with the verbal abuse. He was conditioning her. But I LOVE when women leave the first time. When a man does that, even when he verbally abuses you, he doesn't like you. He even hates you. Just go. Good for her!
I can recommend 'kali', a Filipino martial art that teaches you how to use a stick. Also krav maga, an extremely deadly martial art. Women can't afford to bugger around when it comes to physical combat so any martial art that teaches you to 'go for the jugular' is the one you want.
Some do it for the drama and/or to finally feel wanted by the negative reaction. Even in comments on these channels you'll see people who live for the drama. I've even seen some comments where they'll know their partner is cheating and, rather than leave the partner, they'll do things to torture them and cheat too. Like, huh? Just go. TF?
@LadyAstarionAncunin Those women are competitive, usually against other women. Those are the kind who play those main chick, side chick games- they don’t want the other woman to get the prize - as in the man. LOL And then the man comes back- only to repeat the same behavior but perhaps a bit more sneakily at least.
My ex cheated on me with his best friend. Instead of crying and going back and forth with him, I left him. I did express how I felt before leaving but I did not spend my entire day with him crying to him about how he did me dirty when he cheated or going back and forth through text. Ladies it’s not even worth it. If he is cheating, just leave.
Did this to my last ex…BEST decision EVER. Changed my number and later moved. He tried to reach me every way he could. Just goes to show…they know exactly what they do….
What's bizarre is that a bunch of women been doing this. We get called cold and told we never cared. They're the ones that never cared or even liked you.
I literally got called cold hearted for me "not caring by the breakup" by not crying etc. We're breaking up for a reason my guy 🤷♀️ I literally didn't have a single regret about the break up.
THIS!! I broke up with my ex and I am already at peace with the fact that the next woman may have everything I wanted from him. It' OK, I am also becoming à better person for me, and the next man.
Walk away if he’s no good for you but that has nothing to do with him. Do it for yourself. Who cares if he regrets, sees you doing better,whatever. He knows what he did. He saw that it hurt you. He chose to do it anyways. He’s gonna do the same thing to the next girl eventually. And if that fool comes back begging you, telling you that he sees the light, has a major epiphany and is ready to do what you wanted, don’t believe him. People can change for short periods of time but very rarely can someone change who they are at their essence. Think about how hard it is to start an exercise routine for you. Imagine trying to change toxic behaviors that he’s probably had all his life. It doesn’t happen.
" Never let a man show you more than once that he doesn't want you" "You gotta somehow pack your respect up and roll out".. I NEEDED to hear that....Thanks❤❤❤❤ sisters.
The Catch-22 is that you don't get to teach him a lesson AND still be with him. A lot of ladies want it both ways. I get it, I been there. Walked away from mine for 2.5yrs, be begged to come back just to do the same shxt. The only lesson that sticks for these men is losing you FOR GOOD. Hate to break it to you sis 😔
@InAllHerGlory_ Yep. And it's hard for women too comprehend because when we're with someone we love we WANT to be the best version of ourselves for them. We DESIRE to meet our partner's needs. The way that men think, they're never going to do anything unless they HAVE to. In their minds, why become a better person when she keeps coming back anyway? All they care about is having access to you. If they still have access while being a shxtty person, why would they go through the work of changing? It's really sad.
Also, NEEEEEEVER meet them again, ESPECIALLY ALONE! That's when they'll get you! They'll either hurt you, end your life, or try to convince you to come back to them (and it'll work on the weaker ones). When you're done, you're done. That's it. Not a second more. No talking. No explaining. Just. Go. Ghost!
Sounds about right even if he gives the next girl everything you wanted know that regardless of what you do you were probably NEVER going to get that from him that way.
I never say a word I just remove myself in all situations including friendships. I won't block anyone either, if you care to ask I will tell but we can just move on. Once I make a decision to stop giving something my energy, I flatout REFUSE to give it anymore. It's not always easy as you want to sometimes say your peice, but when I see someone doesn't care either way and they are just seeking conflict, it makes it easier.
Yep what I had to do just leave quietly...changed numbers , blocked, and moved.. he did find me on another dating app however trying to get with me ... Wanting to know if I relocated
I've always left relationships quietly. And by text. My mom always said 'You teach people how to treat you' and I will show them that I do not set for less, the moment I'm done, its done. I walk in peacefully and classy, thus I leave the same way.
When a woman is really done, she stops talking because she finally realizes, he doesn't care about her or her feelings..and if these ladies decide to stay, make your exit plan..quietly. keep your mouth shut and DO NOT take them back once you leave, cuz youll be in more danger
At the age of 30, I stopped explaining myself to people. People know what they are doing. That’s why once I’m disrespected and boundaries are cross, I’m bowing out… sis is speaking nothing but truth.
My ex was frustrated that I didn't react AT ALL, and when he asked if I wasn't going to say anything I replied "What should I say? Please love me?" He said "no", I took my toothbrush and left 😂
Left my toxic relationship yesterday. He kept calling. Declined the call and blocked. Moving on and I’m at so much peace. Stay safe ladies and keep thriving 💕
One of the best lessons I learned in dating was to not show my hands. I wrote it out in my drafts, express how I feel to MYSELF. They don’t deserve to know my anger.
You can care from far away. You can empathize from far away. You can understand and forgive them and never talk to them again. You can be happy for them from far away. You have to walk away from whatever is going on in that situation and fix yourself.
I was in a 7-year relationship that was leading to nowhere. On my birthday (3/10) I dropped some money on an apartment. We got into an argument and showed him the lease. He got quiet. He had no idea that I was planning my exit since December of 2023 because I was still cooking, cleaning, and staying quiet.
That 2nd girl talking about how these men love on ppl who treat them badly and treat you like crap when you pour into them ; 💯🎯 hit the nail on the head. "Don't be so understanding that you're ok with being disrespected" AMEN 👏💯
Men only and exclusively understand ACTIONS. Very few of them (Empaths) understand words and are able to start conversations applying emotional intelligence. Stop rewarding their bad behavior and toxicity by putting up with their bs.🙄🙄🙄 Therefore, women must learn to be STOIC. There is a lot of free information and exercises to develop a stoic mindset and attitude.👈👈👈 Learn to develop a practical mindset, it will save you many unpleasant situations; especially with men. 👀👀👀
Rational and logical! Develop your "masculine" side! Just like men are encouraged to develop their "feminine" side, women need to develop their "masculine" side, in order to become COMPLETE human beings! It's fine to be 'feminine' but to wallow in that side of yourself exclusively makes you a bucket of slop, a victim, a patsy, a doormat. It's the excessively "feminine" women who want to be 'tradwives" and doormats, and are the ones who men exploit. When you develop your masculine side, you are no longer the belly-crawling spaniel; you become a Malinois! The dog who crawls and cringes gets the kicks; the dog who holds their ground and shows their fangs gets the respect!
But stupid psychologists and therapists keep on going saying that communication is the key and 'men can't read minds' and then we have 90% of women watching and taking this kind of advice trying not only to deal with their part of the deal but also doing mind gymnastics on how to save or improve a relationship when for the man is completely ok. We never see men going to therapy or reading self help books on how to improve their relationships or be better to their partners. Only when they're dumped they go after advice which is usually 'get in shape', 'make more money'.
@@redleeks6253 And when women try to communicate, they are labeled "nags". The ONLY time a man unblocks his ears for real is when a woman has finally walked out the door and he's lost his free domestic servant.
I was in a long distance relationship and guess who is the one doing the driving and the initiation to see each other, my stupid self. We got into an argument when I visited another weekend and left in anger and drive bk to my state and literally this man never called, texted or reached out out to see if I made it back and after a week I wrote a whole paragraph and the moment I press send, I regretted it. His response was I was waiting for u to come to ur senses. That was it block and delete.
Yikes 😬 not he was waiting for you to come to your senses!! Him not checking on you after that argument and to see if you made it home was a major sign 🪧 he didn’t care. It’s good thing you left that situation.
@@jladybeautiful girl I was too embarrassed that I did all this one sided stuff for someone who didn’t really care for me at all as a HUMAN, talking of as a gf.
I’ve ALWAYS left quietly!!!!😂😂😂 One of my Ex’s called ME a runner. And that’s was over 20yrs ago.. 16yrs ago I left my husband quietly🤫And It’s safer 💅🏾
please listen to the young lady at 2:15 and I don't CARE if it has been anywhere from 10 hours to 10 years, a leopard DOES NOT change its spots. Man or women, all relationship types, etc...once you leave, keep moving accordingly. Life is but a vapor, ladies and it goes by incredibly fast. Live in positivity at all times even if that means being alone for a season.
This applies not just to partners or men but also ex-friends and even toxic family. The peace of closing the book and not writing an epilogue is great. Let them stew in their toxicness, go and be free.
My ex was going through his narc discard phase and when he left, i was over it all and that time away made my exit from him easier. He thought he was gonna bring his toxic ways back in my life and he found the door to me was permanently closed and locked. Quietly in my peace now.
Yeah if you leave you will need a second job just in case he gets you fired from the other job. Just a tip because I tried that too leaving quietly you will either have to transfer to another location or pick up an extra job that way if he starts calling your job and there like your fired! Be like that's okay I found a better job anyways! Then he won't know were you live or work. Another thing is they have to know there not going to be unhoused that's another reason you don't want to date them when they don't have money or a job because there co dependent on you. When there dependent on you it's a lot harder to get rid of them. They don't like it when women just leave because if they don't have any type of closer they won't leave you alone so if you need to come back for like a few months save your paychecks and pretend like your not mad at them you just found a better opportunity were you might be able to get a service dog Then a month before his lease expires calmly tell him you found a place and they will let you leave. And if there the type of person to squat on the property and not leave they will get arrested and you will already be gone and if he asks why your phone was off tell him you were at work. Once he's in jail it will be easier to file a restraining order the goal is to get them quietly busted.
Wow, I also lost my job due to his harassment. It's sad that these types of men put women through this. It's a very exhausting lifestyle. It makes you not want to deal with them at all.
This is why it is important to communicate with work that you are in an abusive situation that way they become your advocates too. If they know they will just not fire you over call they did not investigate.also it will make them look bad to have known and done nothing about it
@@Carameldamour yeah, I actually did but the situation what is complicated because there was a child involved and I was being pulled away from work due to his manipulation. I ended up losing the job because I couldn't keep my hours. Also the embarrassment was unbearable. 😒
I left quietly from situationship and before I did I pondered whether or not to leave a long message on why I was leaving, luckily my friends convinced me not to and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. He gets to spend the rest of his life wondering why and I get to live the rest of my life in peace.
Ladies!!! *IF* you are going to state your departure, the only 3 ways to do it are on the phone, thru a text, or in a very public place. NEVER alone with a man. Period! Stay safe everyone. Advice paraphrased from Dating Coach Anwar on TH-cam
Unfortunately my sister told me the same thing I made the mistake of telling him I'm leaving wtf did I do that I'm not quiet but now I know I have to be
I did this when I was in my abusive relationship. Worked overtime often was secretly packing and moving my important stuff every week. And squirmed on out of there.
I met someone on a dating app, and we talked for a week exactly, and on the seventh day of talking, I decided to cancel our first date and told him why and wished him well. It’s been like a month, we never even met in person and he’s called me like four times randomly since then including yesterday. Men do not like taking no for an answer and men do not care about your experience or preference.
Love that this is going around. The thing is, wanting him to know how you feel does not and will never bring anyone closure. Closure happens after you do the emotional work of processing the breakup, the trauma whatever. It is not something anyone outside of you can grant you. Even if the conversation plays out just like it does in your head - where he somehow both takes accountability for his behavior and also doesn't try to coerce you into staying - he still did it, whatever disrespect or cruelty was present when he did it still exists within him and you will still need to process the grief, the shame, the anger - whatever it is. And, of course, conversations never play out like they do in your head, either so it's likely he will DARVO the situation and leave you feeling worse than before. If he crossed the line, the line is crossed and nothing anyone says will change it. You don't need his approval, his understanding or even his awareness to know what's best for you. Wanting his response to your pain more than your own peace is a literal act of centering men in your experience. That is deciding that his feelings and opinions matter more than yours do, which is sexist and untrue. It is a conditioned response and does not serve you.
True. It's no use "talking things out" because men as a species do not listen to women. Their ears shut down the moment they hear a female voice. They are not hearing what you say at all; they are just "waiting their turn to speak". Know when to hold your tongue, save your energy, and just go on with your plan to leave.
He treated her so badly and wasted her time!!!Only for her to go back and become his baby mother 🥹🥹It is really really sad just like the Halle Bailey pregnancy+relationship situation!!! It's clear as day that this man does not care about her and embarrasses her every chance he gets🙌🏽
It's funny how that came about after some celebration of her being single, in shape, and child-free at her age. I guess he saw that and was like, "I can fix that!" NGL, if she's happy, good for her, I guess, but...
It's not that im not happy for them, it's just that they act like they are the first and only to do it, but also you don't know what is really going on behind closed doors to the public eye it's butterflies rainbows and sunshine but we don't know what they are really doing when it's just them
You said a whole sermon! Ashanti is a dummy! That man made her the last woman standing which is never a good thing. Believe he goin to make her pay for being a dummy through out their shut up marriage.
I'm in a toxic "friendship" I wanna leave quietly but this chick is my boss. She hired me a month ago and she switched up on. I swear she offered me the job to abuse me emotionally. Some people will go thru great lengths to trap and abuse you. Currently looking for another job swear once I get out this situation she is dead to me.
Waft you do is quietly apply for another job. Once you accept the new job leave abruptly. Don’t give her a notice. Lie if you have to. Then block her on everything. I had a boss like this and they know what they’re doing. He tried yo figure out what job I was going to in the exit interview.
Absolutely. I have managed to leave. 3 situations or actually a couple of situations with a guy. I've lived with been involved with. I was threatened by and I couldn't tell anyone I had to totally stick to the plan and not look back. You can't have. You can't tell them because they will ultimately end your life.
"if you can't change that man, change that man" sadly I was with my ex for 11yrs. I gave my all but I knew it wasn't going to work. I stayed mostly so my child would be older. the end came when in argument & while I begged & pleaded this guy ignored me. that was when I knew the time had arrived & I was completely done. I planned my escape silently & one day I told him he had 2wks to leave. he someway packed & when he came back after work, locks were changed. I'm sad I stayed so long & wasted my good years but I'm proud I made that choice to walk & I was able to.
I never understand staying for the sake of the child. I RESENT my mother for staying. I don't believe in keeping kids in a toxic situation. They are affected by it even when you don't think they are.
This goes for friendships too! I just had someone I thought was a friend tell me, in so many words, that she just didn’t want me around….via text.😑 Mind you, I’ve always said a major disrespect to me was texting grievances vs face-to-face because I value that connection with friends (past bad experiences taught me showing that care in person matters most). Her approach was cowardly and gaslight-y so I took the week and then, instead of my usual request to talk face-to-face, I just sent a brief text back (mainly because it felt like a defamation of my character and I wasn’t going by to let her catastrophize something she knew nothing about) letting her know this was it and I would leave her alone from now on. She then quickly sent a text saying something along the lines of “oh, I didn’t mean so we wouldn’t talk again…🤨Like, what?!😂 Nope….I’m too grown and too busy to bother trying to make people value my character that I’ve shown for years. Ladies, don’t let your friends think they can give you disrespect and then backtrack. My presence is valuable and I refuse to let someone bargain with that.
My friend dumped me over text too, and she knows I'm a face to face person. She gaslight me, lie about my character, literally pulled stuff out of her butt to disrespect me over nothing. She had to put her pet down and I was giving her advice and supporting her after SHE asked me for my input. And that was that so I thought. The next day I get a long text about how horrible and insensitive I am. I was so confused. Her and I had never even fought before. But you know what, I never looked back or talked to her again. A few days before she blew up on me I asked God to clear out all the people in my life that don't need to be there and will hinder my progression with him. Then boom 💥
@iamdisgusted had that happen to me too. I was told that I wasn't good enough to be with her on her walk with God. Yet, we are both finding ourselves. But do you think she dropped the man that breaks into her house and steals from her? Nah. She dropped me over text. I simply deleted and blocked.
@@iamdisgusted This kind of happened to me. I was friends with this chick, and she came to visit me and was really rude the whole time, even though I treated her well and let her stay with me. When she left, my first instinct was to block her, but I didn't. I ended up regretting it because she sent a long email saying I'm a horrible person for not contacting her after she left and a whole lot of unwarranted stuff. It made no sense because I was nothing but nice to her, even when she was rude. But I realized that she knew she'd done wrong and my silence showed her that. And she as a coward on top of everything because she said she was blocking me after her email. Because she wanted the last word. I didn't even bother.
I learned how to move quietly from Dr. Ramani's videos. She explains that you should have plan before you leave if possible. She also spoke going no contact and how to handle interactions if you still need to engage with your ex for whatever reason. I follow her advice and even though it was hard, it worked. Yes, I my ex harassed me for a bit after the relationship ended, but by me following Dr. Ramani advice, I knew what to do and what to expect after taking her advice.
Don't leave out family-ships either... I left quietly on they arse too.. anybody toxic can get left quietly... I'm not playing in 2024 cuz 2024 ain't playing with my arse.
14:17 this nice lady reminds me of Loretta Divine in the movie For Colored Girls when she says “I almost let him get away with all my stuff” No more ladies, Leave that man.
You really do have to leave. I’m so thankful to God that I got out alive and I’m so much happier now. One of the last things he said to me was,”if I can’t have you no one else can”. You really have to do what’s best for you and don’t look back ladies!!
You're videos help alot of women! A woman should not worry about what's going on in their past abuser life! Be peaceful..give yourself grace and focus on yourself and what god has for you!
I loved what Renee said about leaving quietly for yourself. I don’t do fussing and fighting. I went through that kind of toxic crap in my late teens and learned from it. There are certain things I won’t do and it is for my own sanity. Currently I no longer date or have relationships but when I did I always made it clear that I dont do the checking phones, emails, addresses, chasing him around, etc. if I can’t trust my partner I don’t want it. The stress is not good for mental health.
I will say leaving an abusive relationship is when a woman is in the most dangerous statistically. I would tell at least one or two trusted people hopefully someone in your family you plans. So they can help you and keep checking on you to make sure you’re safe. I pray for all of my sisters in abusive relationships that you get out safely.
The lady that kept saying "Be a lady and leave quietly" must not be aware of the large number of women who attempted to leave quietly and never made it out the door. You dont have to do anything to someone who's unhinged..
They don't mean by "leaving quietly" to "just turn and walk away without saying anything"; they mean "leave without him noticing, behind his back". Make your plans discreetly, then when he's out of the house, take your permanent departure without a lot of fuss and recriminations. After all, you've probably discussed whatever your issues are over and over and over and OVER already with him- and how much good did it do? So, JUST LEAVE. Men don't listen to women anyway; they just wait their turn to speak (and sometimes not even that!)
Leaving quietly means leaving without him noticing. If he doesn't notice you leaving he can't catch you by the door. Now, he still might come after you after you go off that door but at least you've made it so far. For many women the solution is to disappear without leaving trace.
They didn't leave quietly. Sorry, but they didn't if they never made it out the door. They said or did something. The situation you're talking about is where someone would have to plan with no evidence their partner could find, act like everything is normal, and then get out in one fell swoop, moving to somewhere far away. No one "never made it out of the door" unless they were already being abused and it was a coincidence. Because if you truly move in silence, the partner will not know. But it takes more steps.
I have been doing & saying this for years. People have always dismissed it saying easier said than done or saying that I must have never loved that person. I can love you & leave you. If you do me dirty, YOU are the one who never loved ME. It's easy, I promise. Just save receipts of the worst things he's ever done to you & when he contacts you again, LOOK AT THEM. I read through every text message, listen to every voicemail & it plays the words verbatim to me so I can remember how he called me out of my name, etc. I promise you won't even want to go back after listening with fresh ears. We often want to forget the bad & remember the good, but that's how we fall victim.
This! It's IMPORTANT to not forget the BAD times because you NEED to consciously recall them to mind when you (inevitably!) start dwelling on the good times and feeling regrets...I would mentally replace the "good" memory with a "BAD" one, reminding myself of as many BAD times as I could, and then WALLOW in the sense of relief and gratitude that I no longer had to endure whatever it was. This was in order to RETRAIN my brain not to call up all the good memories and forget the BAD ones!
@@BabalonNuit Exactly! Although painful, remembering the bad is VITAL or else we risk romanticizing the relationship as a whole & going back to the beginning of the cycle.
My cousin tried to leave her husband years ago, and he shot her in the head and her sister in the hand. Both survived by playing dead. He is in jail for life. Bc of that, I left my abusive husband quietly. I moved w our two babies to a different state and said nothing until we were safe.
Thank you so much for your content and spreading awareness. Your channel saves lives, honestly. I left quietly (moved out while abusive ex was at work) and felt so much guilt for months for 'blindsiding' him. This is confirmation that I did the right thing. I moved across the country and I am the absolute happiest and most free I've ever been!!! Anyone can do it! Live for yourself and by your own rules.
Everything that these ladies say in this video it’s true. At 50 you realize that people really don’t change, so your ex can put up a show for a while, and the next one will start up where you left off and eventually all the stuff that he messed up with with you he’ll be doing with her, I’ve never seen it fail
LOL My ex took up with a woman 10 years younger and she was SO SMUG...I left her a note informing her that he was already cheating on her(he was) and she would end up in the same place I was. And...SHE DID. Worse, actually; he was beating her while she was pregnant, and was taken away by police.
Treat a breakup like you're fleeing the site of a contamination. No turmoil, no stewing, no back-and-forth - just decisive action and ruthless efficiency. Get as far away from the epicenter as humanly possible. Get tested. Leave any and everything that isn't essential or irreplaceable. Disinfect everything. Scrub their whole existence from your life. Arm and medicate yourself against the virus. Don't let anyone near you who carries the illness or tries to bring the infection back into your space. Be grateful you have your life and your health free of the disease.
![[UNCUT] “บอสณวัฒน์” ลากไส้!! ใครหนุนหลัง "แม่ตั๊ก ป๋าเบียร์" I คนดังนั่งเคลียร์ I 30 ก.ย. 67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QlD7mU2KKRk/mqdefault.jpg)
I left a relationship quietly but he didn't like that and so he's been harassing me. He's mad because he didn't get to break me the way he wanted to.😂
Good on you for leaving out. Virtual High Fives.
Lawd, that’s so crazy. Why can’t these type of folks just let you leave once you’ve figured out they aren’t worth your time?
What about their ego's, like that's the whole point for them they feed off of a negative emotions they get from women @@queenreg7
Yes 😂😂
@@queenreg7 cause they're demonic.
The only thing men understand is ACTIONS. This has been proven time and time again. I don't know why women refuse to believe it. Men don't care about your words, men don't care about your tears, men don't care about your tantrums, men don't care about your anger. You know why? Despite all that, you are STILL there, so he is still rewarded for his bad/toxic behavior.
Yes, his behavior is HIS fault, not yours. But your insistence on continuing in the relationship to "work it out" is all the incentive he needs to keep dogging you.
People in love often aren't that rational, that's why people don't listen.
Yep
This. Right. Here. 💯
Action and consequences!
True! 💯💯
I was told I was uncaring. Ok. I left quietly and he suddenly said I was a wonderful person, the best, he messed up. Nope. Living my best PEACEFUL AF life.
Nice story
2/5/24: "I moved out. The keys are on the table." Delete. Block. Happiness.
No message. Let them find out when they go home. Leave the keys in plain sight for them to find.
@@ds37215 I was a bit worried he would call the school where I teach and play stupid, creating a lot of drama. That was the only reason.
@@lovinglife-tq4pv True. Unfortunately, I have had that experience. (No drama was created because my ex-fiancé spoke to me directly, but still a nuisance.)
Welcome to the rest of your life ✨
Good for you!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
The most dangerous time in a relationship for a woman is when she leaves. There are soooo many women in the grave who went to meet their ex "one last time for closure." Move in silence, ladies, it may just save your life
I've never argued with a man I was leaving. It doesn't even matter who, what, why, when or where anymore. He's not relevant anymore. Never been in an abusive relationship. I saw red flags in men I dated and never gave them the benefit of a doubt. I see red flags as a man testing boundaries and I was clear from the first date that he wasn't for me.
Happily married 20 years to a wonderful man. Don't waste a second on a loser.
Yes it happened to my cousin. Now they're both in the grave, b/c he shot her then shot himself.
Yes, you’re right. There is absolutely no reason to meet up for one last time. It’s like people forget all of the reasons they left in the first place because they need closure. You can get closure without seeing the abuser.
Yup! Been there. Done that. Happy to be alive ❤
So true. My bestie has the need for several layers of “closure”. I pray she outgrows it.
Once you leave quietly once, you'll never ever want to do it any other way 😂😂
factsss😂
💯💯💯
This!!!!
Facts.
Real talk😅
When you tell a guy you’re leaving, he’s not gonna believe you anyway. Their egos will not let them believe you’d ever leave. My ex husband didn’t believe I was leaving even when I got a job, got an apartment, called the movers, cut myself out of all of the pictures in our home so that he was left with the person he cares most about, and he came home to an empty house. He called me a week later crying about how could I just leave and not call him?😂 I told him don’t be upset that I’m finally over him like he’s been over me for the past 4 years. He still expected me to go with him to a Yankees game for his birthday the next month, and he told me about it the day before. I did not go. I asked him what part of “divorce” is so hard for him to understand? I paid for the whole divorce; we never even went to court. I wanted my freedom at any cost.
Congratulations ❤❤❤
Yup they don’t believe we’ll actually leave
Can I just say congratulations 🎊 👏🥂 to you dear enjoy your freedom
His not mad that the relationship is over but rather that you got your freedom at last
I've commented this before but my divorce was finalized when I was 23. At 22 I found out he was cheating, and he'd started being a dick anyway. Fine. I slowly started moving my things into my car, selling things, etc. He didn't even notice. I stopped sleeping with him by making excuses. One day he came back from work and I was gone and all my shit was gone and later I had him served with divorce papers. It was an easy dissolution, but took a year. He didn't contest the divorce but he begged me to tell him what happened. I never spoke to him again. To this day he randomly emails me to beg me to tell him what happened.
He knows what he did. I know what he did.
I bet not knowing for sure if you knew about the cheating just eats him up inside lol. I love it 😂
He know why you left. He just itching for an opportunity to Gaslight, lie, manipulate then devalue and dump you via communication and then ignore you so he can save his raggedy ego.
Sure nice story.
I love the way you walked your way!
And you're right... he knows what hi did. Men love playing dumb! 🙄🙄
Love this👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yeah, I left quietly, and my ex tried to use emotional manipulation to get me back. I believe he said something like "so your going to leave me like everyone else or abandon me too?" and I was like, yep, bye now.
You’re better than me because I would have said “yes, because now I see why you DESERVED to be abandoned.”
@ccannon1 Honestly, at that point, I didn't want to waste any more energy on him, not even petty and spite, because he had drained enough emotional labor out of me already. I was done, and I refused to accept the lack of luster love he offered.
Yeah! B/c now I see _why_ everyone else left!✌🏾
Ike Turner used that line on Tina when she first tried to leave. Glad you stood your ground!
I was the manager of a store in the mall and the part time girls husband would sit on the bench outside the store her whole shift she would take her coffee break and her lunch with him she was in an abusive prison.. He would watch her work through the big glass store windows all day. So when she was ready to run.. me and the girls at the store let her go out the stockroom door one day to her aunts waiting car in the the garbage pick up area of the back of the mall....poof she was gone. Bye bye part time girl! Be free! And the husband couldn't see her through the mall windows... You could see him wondering after a few hours. And at closing time we just locked the doors and went out the back. For a few days he came around looking for her and we just said shes not on shift today. Her aunt put her on a flight to Toronto but we didnt tell him hin that. Lol! bye bye abusive imprisonment asshole.
Good on y'all for helping her get out!
His sorry behind obviously wasn't working if he had time to sit and stare at her all day. Ugh! Please don't date bums ladies!
I love that!!!
Amazing work, ladies! Dev help the friend get out of an abusive relationship. Something similar to this. God bless you.
There should be a team like this for people who can't escape.
If you announce your plans, it only gives him a chance to escalate the situation into anger or violence. Leave quietly, it’s less dangerous.
👍🏿 no talking about it just do it
Same with leaving toxic family. Literally just changed my number and moved. Just go. Stop explaining. Actions speak louder than words
You had money to leave deepshit.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🫡
True! 💯💯💯
I was in the hospital and when I left I texted my mom, I was picking up my stuff and moving in with my bf family, got a new number, changed my social medias, and didn't look back. All she has is an email I can't delete rn and even then, I just delete without reading.
Sometimes, you just gotta put yourself first.
Facts!!
I don't know why men propose when you dump them. If I didnt want to date you, why would I want to MARRY you?
Because so many women fall for it, they just have to throw it out there
Because they think that's why you left: because he hadn't proposed. Men think that it's such an "honour" to be their "chosen' domestic slave! Not anymore it isn't!
😂😂😂
🤦🏽♀️
Indeed my ex did this too def said no!
My aunt on my father's side of the family was with a guy who would always belittle her but one day it so bad that he slapped her and she waited until he went to work and called my dad and other male relatives to pack up her stuff and she left him.
I'm glad she reached out and let others help her get out of that situation. I hope she's living her best life now
She did the best for her. Hope she is healing!
They start with the verbal abuse. He was conditioning her. But I LOVE when women leave the first time. When a man does that, even when he verbally abuses you, he doesn't like you. He even hates you. Just go. Good for her!
Smart woman. We need more like her.
Women ... WHY you should learn Self-defense!!! Stop assuming things can be verbally hashed out and be prepared to protect yourselves 😊
I believe in German Shepherds and pew pews. 😂
@@HHCF713mhmm don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
I can recommend 'kali', a Filipino martial art that teaches you how to use a stick. Also krav maga, an extremely deadly martial art. Women can't afford to bugger around when it comes to physical combat so any martial art that teaches you to 'go for the jugular' is the one you want.
@@HHCF713 And what if the German shepherd and the pew pew is not where you are?
@@BabalonNuitput your keys in between your fingers like brass knuckles and aim for the eyes.
Men leave quietly, so why should women foreshadow their exit?
Literally. #Womanbuymilktoo 😂
@@Jomama-man love this.
Some do it for the drama and/or to finally feel wanted by the negative reaction. Even in comments on these channels you'll see people who live for the drama. I've even seen some comments where they'll know their partner is cheating and, rather than leave the partner, they'll do things to torture them and cheat too. Like, huh? Just go. TF?
@@LadyAstarionAncunin exactly. Why waste your time playing mind games? Life’s way too short
@LadyAstarionAncunin Those women are competitive, usually against other women. Those are the kind who play those main chick, side chick games- they don’t want the other woman to get the prize - as in the man. LOL
And then the man comes back- only to repeat the same behavior but perhaps a bit more sneakily at least.
My ex cheated on me with his best friend. Instead of crying and going back and forth with him, I left him. I did express how I felt before leaving but I did not spend my entire day with him crying to him about how he did me dirty when he cheated or going back and forth through text. Ladies it’s not even worth it. If he is cheating, just leave.
Never go back you might be going back to a dangerous deadly situation . Arm yourself just saying
Couldn't hit the side of a barn.
Did this to my last ex…BEST decision EVER. Changed my number and later moved. He tried to reach me every way he could. Just goes to show…they know exactly what they do….
@@xletragedyx😂😂😂
@@xletragedyxnot even 2 😂😂😂😂
@@xletragedyxI'm on the floor in shambles. Stop it now!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't. I really really can't
@@iamdisgusted you gotta block em on everything 😭😂
@@xletragedyx 😂😂😂
What's bizarre is that a bunch of women been doing this. We get called cold and told we never cared. They're the ones that never cared or even liked you.
They can dish it all day, but can't take it for sh*t.
I literally got called cold hearted for me "not caring by the breakup" by not crying etc. We're breaking up for a reason my guy 🤷♀️ I literally didn't have a single regret about the break up.
Men: y’all are too emotional and be weaponizing y’all tears!
Women: Bet! And *quietly leaves*
Men: Wait… Why aren’t you crying, you cold hearted B!?!?
So true, it doesn’t matter if he leaves to treat someone better. No matter what, that won’t change how he will treat *YOU*
THIS!! I broke up with my ex and I am already at peace with the fact that the next woman may have everything I wanted from him. It' OK, I am also becoming à better person for me, and the next man.
@@LulaMaximeMorales that’s great!! 😃
Came back to read bc I needed this reminder for myself 😮💨
Walk away if he’s no good for you but that has nothing to do with him. Do it for yourself. Who cares if he regrets, sees you doing better,whatever. He knows what he did. He saw that it hurt you. He chose to do it anyways. He’s gonna do the same thing to the next girl eventually. And if that fool comes back begging you, telling you that he sees the light, has a major epiphany and is ready to do what you wanted, don’t believe him. People can change for short periods of time but very rarely can someone change who they are at their essence. Think about how hard it is to start an exercise routine for you. Imagine trying to change toxic behaviors that he’s probably had all his life. It doesn’t happen.
I never explain my exit . Men always know what they did. In most cases a woman doesn’t just get up and leave a man who’s done nothing wrong
" Never let a man show you more than once that he doesn't want you"
"You gotta somehow pack your respect up and roll out"..
I NEEDED to hear that....Thanks❤❤❤❤ sisters.
The Catch-22 is that you don't get to teach him a lesson AND still be with him. A lot of ladies want it both ways. I get it, I been there. Walked away from mine for 2.5yrs, be begged to come back just to do the same shxt. The only lesson that sticks for these men is losing you FOR GOOD. Hate to break it to you sis 😔
It's been 6 months now, I am not going back no matter how much he begs🙌🏽🥹
@InAllHerGlory_ Yep. And it's hard for women too comprehend because when we're with someone we love we WANT to be the best version of ourselves for them. We DESIRE to meet our partner's needs. The way that men think, they're never going to do anything unless they HAVE to. In their minds, why become a better person when she keeps coming back anyway? All they care about is having access to you. If they still have access while being a shxtty person, why would they go through the work of changing? It's really sad.
Also, NEEEEEEVER meet them again, ESPECIALLY ALONE! That's when they'll get you! They'll either hurt you, end your life, or try to convince you to come back to them (and it'll work on the weaker ones). When you're done, you're done. That's it. Not a second more. No talking. No explaining. Just. Go. Ghost!
Sounds about right even if he gives the next girl everything you wanted know that regardless of what you do you were probably NEVER going to get that from him that way.
I never say a word I just remove myself in all situations including friendships. I won't block anyone either, if you care to ask I will tell but we can just move on.
Once I make a decision to stop giving something my energy, I flatout REFUSE to give it anymore. It's not always easy as you want to sometimes say your peice, but when I see someone doesn't care either way and they are just seeking conflict, it makes it easier.
I also leave friendships quietly!
Same. Just fade out.
Yep what I had to do just leave quietly...changed numbers , blocked, and moved.. he did find me on another dating app however trying to get with me ... Wanting to know if I relocated
I've always left relationships quietly. And by text. My mom always said 'You teach people how to treat you' and I will show them that I do not set for less, the moment I'm done, its done. I walk in peacefully and classy, thus I leave the same way.
You've never dated anyone too much mommy issues.
“A Lady always knows when to leave.” ~Sipsey; _Fried Green Tomatoes_ ~
When a woman is really done, she stops talking because she finally realizes, he doesn't care about her or her feelings..and if these ladies decide to stay, make your exit plan..quietly. keep your mouth shut and DO NOT take them back once you leave, cuz youll be in more danger
At the age of 30, I stopped explaining myself to people. People know what they are doing. That’s why once I’m disrespected and boundaries are cross, I’m bowing out… sis is speaking nothing but truth.
Ladies move in silence. No explanation required.
I was like this cuz of my daddy’s issues. Now, I leave at the first transgression 😊
My ex was frustrated that I didn't react AT ALL, and when he asked if I wasn't going to say anything I replied "What should I say? Please love me?" He said "no", I took my toothbrush and left 😂
Took her tookbrush and dipped✌🏾😂
Just go because if he wanted to act right he would.
Left my toxic relationship yesterday. He kept calling. Declined the call and blocked. Moving on and I’m at so much peace. Stay safe ladies and keep thriving 💕
Hopefully he doesn't know where you live
@@77kc_77 I had to move also, so no he doesn’t now
Isnt it funny how men will say women arent fit to do xyz because they are too emotional but they literally thrive off of emotion??
Almost like they are Demons. Feeding off our turmoil and distress
One of the best lessons I learned in dating was to not show my hands. I wrote it out in my drafts, express how I feel to MYSELF. They don’t deserve to know my anger.
You can care from far away. You can empathize from far away. You can understand and forgive them and never talk to them again. You can be happy for them from far away. You have to walk away from whatever is going on in that situation and fix yourself.
I was in a 7-year relationship that was leading to nowhere. On my birthday (3/10) I dropped some money on an apartment. We got into an argument and showed him the lease. He got quiet. He had no idea that I was planning my exit since December of 2023 because I was still cooking, cleaning, and staying quiet.
Good for you, my Libra sister! Hope your new life showers you with gifts! ❤️
That 2nd girl talking about how these men love on ppl who treat them badly and treat you like crap when you pour into them ; 💯🎯 hit the nail on the head. "Don't be so understanding that you're ok with being disrespected" AMEN 👏💯
Men only and exclusively understand ACTIONS. Very few of them (Empaths) understand words and are able to start conversations applying emotional intelligence.
Stop rewarding their bad behavior and toxicity by putting up with their bs.🙄🙄🙄
Therefore, women must learn to be STOIC. There is a lot of free information and exercises to develop a stoic mindset and attitude.👈👈👈
Learn to develop a practical mindset, it will save you many unpleasant situations; especially with men. 👀👀👀
Yes but problem with this the stupid society will label u as masculine nothing much they will say ur softness has gone bullshit😂😂
Rational and logical! Develop your "masculine" side! Just like men are encouraged to develop their "feminine" side, women need to develop their "masculine" side, in order to become COMPLETE human beings! It's fine to be 'feminine' but to wallow in that side of yourself exclusively makes you a bucket of slop, a victim, a patsy, a doormat. It's the excessively "feminine" women who want to be 'tradwives" and doormats, and are the ones who men exploit. When you develop your masculine side, you are no longer the belly-crawling spaniel; you become a Malinois! The dog who crawls and cringes gets the kicks; the dog who holds their ground and shows their fangs gets the respect!
But stupid psychologists and therapists keep on going saying that communication is the key and 'men can't read minds' and then we have 90% of women watching and taking this kind of advice trying not only to deal with their part of the deal but also doing mind gymnastics on how to save or improve a relationship when for the man is completely ok.
We never see men going to therapy or reading self help books on how to improve their relationships or be better to their partners. Only when they're dumped they go after advice which is usually 'get in shape', 'make more money'.
Well, if you get labeled masculine, GOOD! That keeps the wrong type of man away from you to begin with. That is your protection.
@@redleeks6253 And when women try to communicate, they are labeled "nags".
The ONLY time a man unblocks his ears for real is when a woman has finally walked out the door and he's lost his free domestic servant.
I was in a long distance relationship and guess who is the one doing the driving and the initiation to see each other, my stupid self. We got into an argument when I visited another weekend and left in anger and drive bk to my state and literally this man never called, texted or reached out out to see if I made it back and after a week I wrote a whole paragraph and the moment I press send, I regretted it. His response was I was waiting for u to come to ur senses. That was it block and delete.
Yikes 😬 not he was waiting for you to come to your senses!! Him not checking on you after that argument and to see if you made it home was a major sign 🪧 he didn’t care. It’s good thing you left that situation.
What's the saying waste of space time and energy
@@jladybeautiful girl I was too embarrassed that I did all this one sided stuff for someone who didn’t really care for me at all as a HUMAN, talking of as a gf.
I’ve ALWAYS left quietly!!!!😂😂😂
One of my Ex’s called ME a runner.
And that’s was over 20yrs ago..
16yrs ago I left my husband quietly🤫And It’s safer 💅🏾
please listen to the young lady at 2:15 and I don't CARE if it has been anywhere from 10 hours to 10 years, a leopard DOES NOT change its spots. Man or women, all relationship types, etc...once you leave, keep moving accordingly. Life is but a vapor, ladies and it goes by incredibly fast. Live in positivity at all times even if that means being alone for a season.
Some men just like the way you make them feel so when you leave they miss the benefits not u
This applies not just to partners or men but also ex-friends and even toxic family. The peace of closing the book and not writing an epilogue is great. Let them stew in their toxicness, go and be free.
Don’t talk about it, be about it.Let’s normalize just leaving, you’ve already talked.Just go
Sure, we‘ve already talked… doesn’t work…time to move
My ex was going through his narc discard phase and when he left, i was over it all and that time away made my exit from him easier. He thought he was gonna bring his toxic ways back in my life and he found the door to me was permanently closed and locked. Quietly in my peace now.
Yeah if you leave you will need a second job just in case he gets you fired from the other job. Just a tip because I tried that too leaving quietly you will either have to transfer to another location or pick up an extra job that way if he starts calling your job and there like your fired! Be like that's okay I found a better job anyways! Then he won't know were you live or work. Another thing is they have to know there not going to be unhoused that's another reason you don't want to date them when they don't have money or a job because there co dependent on you. When there dependent on you it's a lot harder to get rid of them. They don't like it when women just leave because if they don't have any type of closer they won't leave you alone so if you need to come back for like a few months save your paychecks and pretend like your not mad at them you just found a better opportunity were you might be able to get a service dog
Then a month before his lease expires calmly tell him you found a place and they will let you leave. And if there the type of person to squat on the property and not leave they will get arrested and you will already be gone and if he asks why your phone was off tell him you were at work. Once he's in jail it will be easier to file a restraining order the goal is to get them quietly busted.
Wow, I also lost my job due to his harassment. It's sad that these types of men put women through this. It's a very exhausting lifestyle. It makes you not want to deal with them at all.
Ugh. I'm sorry you went though that
This is why it is important to communicate with work that you are in an abusive situation that way they become your advocates too. If they know they will just not fire you over call they did not investigate.also it will make them look bad to have known and done nothing about it
@@Carameldamour yeah, I actually did but the situation what is complicated because there was a child involved and I was being pulled away from work due to his manipulation. I ended up losing the job because I couldn't keep my hours. Also the embarrassment was unbearable. 😒
You advising too much talking. Don't say shxt! Just GO!
I left quietly from situationship and before I did I pondered whether or not to leave a long message on why I was leaving, luckily my friends convinced me not to and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. He gets to spend the rest of his life wondering why and I get to live the rest of my life in peace.
Ladies!!! *IF* you are going to state your departure, the only 3 ways to do it are on the phone, thru a text, or in a very public place. NEVER alone with a man. Period! Stay safe everyone.
Advice paraphrased from Dating Coach Anwar on TH-cam
Unfortunately my sister told me the same thing I made the mistake of telling him I'm leaving wtf did I do that I'm not quiet but now I know I have to be
I did this when I was in my abusive relationship. Worked overtime often was secretly packing and moving my important stuff every week. And squirmed on out of there.
Post separation abuse is so real. The family court system makes it so hard to escape abuse
I met someone on a dating app, and we talked for a week exactly, and on the seventh day of talking, I decided to cancel our first date and told him why and wished him well. It’s been like a month, we never even met in person and he’s called me like four times randomly since then including yesterday. Men do not like taking no for an answer and men do not care about your experience or preference.
Here's to women's collective healing towards no longer tolerating men's bad behavior in ANY capacity
Quiet quitting on Everything
For real
When someone gets to be disrespecting you
It’s time to make that plan and that move Quietly
Love that this is going around. The thing is, wanting him to know how you feel does not and will never bring anyone closure. Closure happens after you do the emotional work of processing the breakup, the trauma whatever. It is not something anyone outside of you can grant you. Even if the conversation plays out just like it does in your head - where he somehow both takes accountability for his behavior and also doesn't try to coerce you into staying - he still did it, whatever disrespect or cruelty was present when he did it still exists within him and you will still need to process the grief, the shame, the anger - whatever it is. And, of course, conversations never play out like they do in your head, either so it's likely he will DARVO the situation and leave you feeling worse than before.
If he crossed the line, the line is crossed and nothing anyone says will change it. You don't need his approval, his understanding or even his awareness to know what's best for you. Wanting his response to your pain more than your own peace is a literal act of centering men in your experience. That is deciding that his feelings and opinions matter more than yours do, which is sexist and untrue. It is a conditioned response and does not serve you.
True. It's no use "talking things out" because men as a species do not listen to women. Their ears shut down the moment they hear a female voice. They are not hearing what you say at all; they are just "waiting their turn to speak". Know when to hold your tongue, save your energy, and just go on with your plan to leave.
🤍
Thank you for your comment. It really hit home for me 💔
@@m_b_s_l I'm sorry to hear that because it probably means someone treated you badly, but I hope the perception shift is helpful. All the best.
Aaaaand that’s why IM NOT CARING NOR CELEBRATING this Nelly + Ashanti double back.
He treated her so badly and wasted her time!!!Only for her to go back and become his baby mother 🥹🥹It is really really sad just like the Halle Bailey pregnancy+relationship situation!!! It's clear as day that this man does not care about her and embarrasses her every chance he gets🙌🏽
It's funny how that came about after some celebration of her being single, in shape, and child-free at her age. I guess he saw that and was like, "I can fix that!" NGL, if she's happy, good for her, I guess, but...
I thought it was my jaded outlook. I do not trust him. Every time I see that smile on his face…it gives I’m gonna fcuk her over vibes.
It's not that im not happy for them, it's just that they act like they are the first and only to do it, but also you don't know what is really going on behind closed doors to the public eye it's butterflies rainbows and sunshine but we don't know what they are really doing when it's just them
You said a whole sermon! Ashanti is a dummy! That man made her the last woman standing which is never a good thing. Believe he goin to make her pay for being a dummy through out their shut up marriage.
That lady around 14:00 was amazing. I appreciated it a lot. We need this guidance from older women and women with more experience.
This is what we should have been doing for years now.
I'm in a toxic "friendship" I wanna leave quietly but this chick is my boss. She hired me a month ago and she switched up on. I swear she offered me the job to abuse me emotionally. Some people will go thru great lengths to trap and abuse you. Currently looking for another job swear once I get out this situation she is dead to me.
Waft you do is quietly apply for another job. Once you accept the new job leave abruptly. Don’t give her a notice. Lie if you have to. Then block her on everything. I had a boss like this and they know what they’re doing. He tried yo figure out what job I was going to in the exit interview.
Absolutely. I have managed to leave. 3 situations or actually a couple of situations with a guy. I've lived with been involved with. I was threatened by and I couldn't tell anyone I had to totally stick to the plan and not look back. You can't have. You can't tell them because they will ultimately end your life.
"if you can't change that man, change that man"
sadly I was with my ex for 11yrs. I gave my all but I knew it wasn't going to work. I stayed mostly so my child would be older. the end came when in argument & while I begged & pleaded this guy ignored me. that was when I knew the time had arrived & I was completely done. I planned my escape silently & one day I told him he had 2wks to leave. he someway packed & when he came back after work, locks were changed. I'm sad I stayed so long & wasted my good years but I'm proud I made that choice to walk & I was able to.
I love you saying " if you can't change that man, change that man" I'm stealing that. And babe, you still have your good years. Many of them🫵🏽
I never understand staying for the sake of the child. I RESENT my mother for staying. I don't believe in keeping kids in a toxic situation. They are affected by it even when you don't think they are.
@@LadyAstarionAncunin You are absolutely right, never stay for the kids your only making things worse especially for the kids.
I don't believe in Second chances!
I don't either. That Maya Angelou quote ends with "...believe them THE FIRST TIME." I believe what people show me.
Same never ever
Ladies we have to make sure we keep the right to walk away.
There are other ladies who are trying to take away our rights.
yup, when I walk, it's quiety. I give it my best and then I step away. no closure required
Quiet leaving is really the best way to go.
This goes for friendships too! I just had someone I thought was a friend tell me, in so many words, that she just didn’t want me around….via text.😑 Mind you, I’ve always said a major disrespect to me was texting grievances vs face-to-face because I value that connection with friends (past bad experiences taught me showing that care in person matters most). Her approach was cowardly and gaslight-y so I took the week and then, instead of my usual request to talk face-to-face, I just sent a brief text back (mainly because it felt like a defamation of my character and I wasn’t going by to let her catastrophize something she knew nothing about) letting her know this was it and I would leave her alone from now on. She then quickly sent a text saying something along the lines of “oh, I didn’t mean so we wouldn’t talk again…🤨Like, what?!😂 Nope….I’m too grown and too busy to bother trying to make people value my character that I’ve shown for years. Ladies, don’t let your friends think they can give you disrespect and then backtrack. My presence is valuable and I refuse to let someone bargain with that.
My friend dumped me over text too, and she knows I'm a face to face person. She gaslight me, lie about my character, literally pulled stuff out of her butt to disrespect me over nothing. She had to put her pet down and I was giving her advice and supporting her after SHE asked me for my input. And that was that so I thought. The next day I get a long text about how horrible and insensitive I am. I was so confused. Her and I had never even fought before. But you know what, I never looked back or talked to her again. A few days before she blew up on me I asked God to clear out all the people in my life that don't need to be there and will hinder my progression with him. Then boom 💥
@iamdisgusted had that happen to me too. I was told that I wasn't good enough to be with her on her walk with God. Yet, we are both finding ourselves. But do you think she dropped the man that breaks into her house and steals from her? Nah.
She dropped me over text. I simply deleted and blocked.
@@d.y.h.w. period. Same, all the guys she dated were sus. Onward and upward. We ain't missing nothing.
Why even contact her again? That's a sign of weakness to a manipulator. Your power is silence. Use it immediately.
@@iamdisgusted This kind of happened to me. I was friends with this chick, and she came to visit me and was really rude the whole time, even though I treated her well and let her stay with me. When she left, my first instinct was to block her, but I didn't. I ended up regretting it because she sent a long email saying I'm a horrible person for not contacting her after she left and a whole lot of unwarranted stuff. It made no sense because I was nothing but nice to her, even when she was rude. But I realized that she knew she'd done wrong and my silence showed her that. And she as a coward on top of everything because she said she was blocking me after her email. Because she wanted the last word. I didn't even bother.
I learned how to move quietly from Dr. Ramani's videos. She explains that you should have plan before you leave if possible. She also spoke going no contact and how to handle interactions if you still need to engage with your ex for whatever reason. I follow her advice and even though it was hard, it worked. Yes, I my ex harassed me for a bit after the relationship ended, but by me following Dr. Ramani advice, I knew what to do and what to expect after taking her advice.
Don't leave out family-ships either... I left quietly on they arse too.. anybody toxic can get left quietly... I'm not playing in 2024 cuz 2024 ain't playing with my arse.
Absolutely agree... no announcement is necessary. And please don't return for your own sanity.
14:17 this nice lady reminds me of Loretta Divine in the movie For Colored Girls when she says “I almost let him get away with all my stuff”
No more ladies, Leave that man.
My exs daughter is suffering but i had to let it happen i still pray for her though God bless them all
Currently going through this and it is so disheartening. Keep your head on a swivel, the Legions are out in droves
You really do have to leave. I’m so thankful to God that I got out alive and I’m so much happier now. One of the last things he said to me was,”if I can’t have you no one else can”. You really have to do what’s best for you and don’t look back ladies!!
You're videos help alot of women! A woman should not worry about what's going on in their past abuser life! Be peaceful..give yourself grace and focus on yourself and what god has for you!
I loved what Renee said about leaving quietly for yourself. I don’t do fussing and fighting. I went through that kind of toxic crap in my late teens and learned from it.
There are certain things I won’t do and it is for my own sanity. Currently I no longer date or have relationships but when I did I always made it clear that I dont do the checking phones, emails, addresses, chasing him around, etc. if I can’t trust my partner I don’t want it. The stress is not good for mental health.
I will say leaving an abusive relationship is when a woman is in the most dangerous statistically. I would tell at least one or two trusted people hopefully someone in your family you plans. So they can help you and keep checking on you to make sure you’re safe. I pray for all of my sisters in abusive relationships that you get out safely.
That older lady, I felt everything she said, had me at work 😢
God be sending me signs 😭. This video popped into my recommendations, and I've been thinking bout this.
The lady that kept saying "Be a lady and leave quietly" must not be aware of the large number of women who attempted to leave quietly and never made it out the door. You dont have to do anything to someone who's unhinged..
That's the only thing you can do if it's that bad. Leave quietly. They literally tell dv victims to do it. At that point it's life and death ☠️.
If you leave quietly, you get out the door before he knows you left.
They don't mean by "leaving quietly" to "just turn and walk away without saying anything"; they mean "leave without him noticing, behind his back". Make your plans discreetly, then when he's out of the house, take your permanent departure without a lot of fuss and recriminations. After all, you've probably discussed whatever your issues are over and over and over and OVER already with him- and how much good did it do? So, JUST LEAVE. Men don't listen to women anyway; they just wait their turn to speak (and sometimes not even that!)
Leaving quietly means leaving without him noticing. If he doesn't notice you leaving he can't catch you by the door.
Now, he still might come after you after you go off that door but at least you've made it so far. For many women the solution is to disappear without leaving trace.
They didn't leave quietly. Sorry, but they didn't if they never made it out the door. They said or did something. The situation you're talking about is where someone would have to plan with no evidence their partner could find, act like everything is normal, and then get out in one fell swoop, moving to somewhere far away.
No one "never made it out of the door" unless they were already being abused and it was a coincidence. Because if you truly move in silence, the partner will not know. But it takes more steps.
This goes for friendships too
I have been doing & saying this for years. People have always dismissed it saying easier said than done or saying that I must have never loved that person. I can love you & leave you. If you do me dirty, YOU are the one who never loved ME. It's easy, I promise. Just save receipts of the worst things he's ever done to you & when he contacts you again, LOOK AT THEM. I read through every text message, listen to every voicemail & it plays the words verbatim to me so I can remember how he called me out of my name, etc. I promise you won't even want to go back after listening with fresh ears. We often want to forget the bad & remember the good, but that's how we fall victim.
This! It's IMPORTANT to not forget the BAD times because you NEED to consciously recall them to mind when you (inevitably!) start dwelling on the good times and feeling regrets...I would mentally replace the "good" memory with a "BAD" one, reminding myself of as many BAD times as I could, and then WALLOW in the sense of relief and gratitude that I no longer had to endure whatever it was. This was in order to RETRAIN my brain not to call up all the good memories and forget the BAD ones!
@@BabalonNuit Exactly! Although painful, remembering the bad is VITAL or else we risk romanticizing the relationship as a whole & going back to the beginning of the cycle.
My cousin tried to leave her husband years ago, and he shot her in the head and her sister in the hand. Both survived by playing dead. He is in jail for life. Bc of that, I left my abusive husband quietly. I moved w our two babies to a different state and said nothing until we were safe.
My sisters have given me strength today 😂❤.
Sometimes you have to eaze your head out of the lions mouth. -My mom 💯
Be A Lady And Leave Quietly Straight WISDOM From Our For Mothers And Ancestors!!!💯💯💯
Too much, too little, too late. Bye!
Lets get into telling you- You're a gorgeous Woman and I appreciate your content. Thank you for being you and be blessed forevermore
Yes, she IS gorgeous, isn't she?
Thank you so much for your content and spreading awareness. Your channel saves lives, honestly. I left quietly (moved out while abusive ex was at work) and felt so much guilt for months for 'blindsiding' him. This is confirmation that I did the right thing. I moved across the country and I am the absolute happiest and most free I've ever been!!! Anyone can do it! Live for yourself and by your own rules.
13:02 she is preaching 👏🏽Yes ma’am, tell it. I felt that.
The cat says it all.
Everything that these ladies say in this video it’s true. At 50 you realize that people really don’t change, so your ex can put up a show for a while, and the next one will start up where you left off and eventually all the stuff that he messed up with with you he’ll be doing with her, I’ve never seen it fail
LOL My ex took up with a woman 10 years younger and she was SO SMUG...I left her a note informing her that he was already cheating on her(he was) and she would end up in the same place I was. And...SHE DID. Worse, actually; he was beating her while she was pregnant, and was taken away by police.
Treat a breakup like you're fleeing the site of a contamination. No turmoil, no stewing, no back-and-forth - just decisive action and ruthless efficiency. Get as far away from the epicenter as humanly possible. Get tested. Leave any and everything that isn't essential or irreplaceable. Disinfect everything. Scrub their whole existence from your life. Arm and medicate yourself against the virus. Don't let anyone near you who carries the illness or tries to bring the infection back into your space. Be grateful you have your life and your health free of the disease.
😂 I love the way you put it. Well said 👏🏽
@@cookiethomas8069 Thank you! I had to say this exact thing to my homegirl the other day. She finally got rid of her no-good fiancé.
That part...no long paragraphs or ultimatums!!
That's what I've always done. I'm glad more women are catching up to it. Protect yourself from retaliation, then live in peace.
With anyone in general leave when they are terrible to you heck sometimes you have to leave your parents for the sake of sanity too ❤
Grandma waa PREACHING and I am HERE FOR IT!!!
Nope.... don't have the confrontation.... most men are not worth the fight