To the first woman my advice is, STOP LOOKING AT THE PAST! Stop looking at your regrets. You're alive, so live! Try an hobby, pour into yourself! It's not wasted years, because you STILL HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE RO LOVE!!!
Where will she find time for a hobby, when she doesn't even have time to stay in bed until she recovers from her flue? That's the whole point of the video.
@omphilemoerane2569 She had plenty of time BEFORE marriage - she's tired, because she married and had kids AFTER age 35. Kids, work, and everything else... she's supposed to be tired.
This first woman made me feel justified in not wanting to tie my life to someone else. Anytime I am in a relationship, it is so stressful for me. The only downside is not having a dual-income home. Even with two-income earning individuals, there is no guarantee of a financial cushion. I am not saying being in a relationship with a great helpful person is a negative thing, NO! However, being single is not the worse that could happen either. SINGLE is a legal marital status, we should not imprison it.
Girl that dual income only benefit men because we the added work load they add to your life, you will wish you never moved in with them. Trust me I’ve been there, they automatically expect labor the moment they come into your life…
One of the saddest things I have ever heard of was a woman who had been married for 32 years but was only happy the first 3 months of that entire marriage. Women need to learn how to love themselves & fill their own cups. You matter and your life needs to reflect that.
Yes, life isn't over after marriage and kids. I need women to remember to work on their identity after marriage and kids. It's scary how women are deified into their roles and expectations to the point where the woman underneath is a distant memory
Being single feels so empowering. Every time I enter relationships I get anxiety and anxious. I wish I had been single my entire adult life. Being in these emotionally abusive relationships have been draining. I will continue to date, enjoy the honeymoon phase, then bounce 😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤.Runaway girlfriend 🏃♀️.
The happiest time of my life was childhood. I wasn't burdened with being in love or being heartbroken. I wasn't questioning my entire life because I couldn't find a husband. I didn't have to go to a job that I hate. Being an adult and having to accept that your life will never be what you wanted it to be is ghetto.
Omg I feel the exact same way. That was the best time of my life. Never cared about having a boyfriend or husband. Just hung out with my friends and family. I'm slowly going back to that place as an adult. Lol I still have to work but work hard and play hard!
You sound let you have not set a path for yourself. You have to live or you will never be happy. You will never be satisfied with your life. You will never be happy with yourself.
I used to be so pressed about being single until I looked up and realized that my time was my own which is a HUGE gift. Nowadays, it’s going to take a LOT of convincing for me to give this up for love.
It's irritating that we treat marriage as "real life" and singlehood as a placeholder. To me, marriage is akin to slavery. We've brainwashed generations of women into believing that marriage is the pinnacle of human existence. For women, marriage is hell. Married women essentially sign up for unpaid servitude, unpaid nanny services, unpaid therapist duties, unpaid event planning duties, unpaid nursing duties and unpaid sex work while being told to expect little from their husbands in return. Women are expected to shoulder a heavy burden to maintain marriages by providing free labor. I'm so glad that there's a shift going on where women are opting out of marriage as well as intimate relationships period and that we're learning that we are whole human beings in our own right apart from being connected to someone else. I'm in my 50s and have never married. When I was younger, I did drink that red kool-aid and wished I had married but after realizing what marriage would actually be like for me, I changed my stance. Now I'm grateful I never settled down. Singlehood is lit, but only if you allow it to be. You don't have to answer to anyone else, you don't have to exhaust yourself performing emotional labor for someone who won't appreciate it, you can do what you want when you want. A man would have to enhance my life and be better than my singlehood. No man has ever fit that bill for me.
Thank you very much for your input .. I'm 23 yr old ... I also don't want to get married ever .... But society around me try to scare me in thinking that I will be miserable when I will cross 30 or 40 or in my old age... But reading input of amazing lady like you gives my confidence... I wish the best for you with lots of love and happiness ❤
The marriage you described is a miserable and oppressive marriage. Unfortunately too many women are in those kinds of marriages. However there are happy, loving healthy marriages. Some single women want marriage later in life and there is nothing wrong with that. The point of the original video was that women should enjoy their time being free and single before they settling down with a spouse and kids, because you won't have that same time and freedom again.
They told my generation that "you can have it all" family and a career but they never told us it was a trap.. your wishes and desires are not a factor anymore, or they are hampered because you can't take risks when your family depends on you. 4B movement is necessary.
Currently planning my trip to Europe with my “single self.” Sometimes people say to me …. You travel by yourself?! Who else am I supposed to travel with?
Nice! I got used to traveling solo. If I need others (safety in numbers) for excursions, I use Meetup and get to meet many different people doing the same thing. I occasionally travel with a friend if we plan far enough ahead, but there's not as much flexibility. The downside of being a solo traveler is that I want to have similar nature adventures and cultural immersion as some of the white male travel vloggers, but it's not as safe for women. There was one guy who drove across the desert in northern Africa with a bunch of chill local dudes he didn't even know. It seemed fun, but I know I'd never be able to do that for safety reasons.
Travelling by myself has been a game changer for me, yes for safety i will sign up with groups and the number of solo women travellers i meet up is amazing..
As someone who's been single all her life and has never been in a relationship, being single has frustrated me, as i felt like I've worked so hard to attract a man to no avail. This year, 2024 has been the year where i focus on me 💖🌸
I've been there, done that, and I'm currently happily divorced. I have no desire to tie myself to anyone ever again. I'm living my best life in peace and happy because I'm responsible for no one but myself. Marriage can be beautiful, but don't ever allow your happiness to be tied to that idea. Find yourself, love yourself, and live your life.
Because oddly enough, men are able to maintain their individuality even when married. They still do things with their boys, take time for themselves and not turn their whole personality to been a husband and father. They live their lives independently while in this marriages bt women will drop friends and family the moment they get ring. Some don’t even get ring and they dropping friends and saying my bf is my closest and best friend.
I've enjoyed being single and dating here and there. I will NEVER give it up for trash. I'm not waiting to start my life when I'm married, this is my time to be free and enjoy! I've built my career, I finally got my own place, bought a Beemer, debt free and I'm content. No one can come and trouble me and they know it. So men tread lightly around me. I'm quick to cut them loose cause I know what I want and I won't settle. I'm not worried, it's all in God's hands and whatever path he chooses I'll accept it cause he knows my heart. Look at Ashanti, she waited for her time and here it is.
I’m open to have a partner and children in the future, but until then follow my dream, and enjoying the perks of having the refrigerator to myself, and naps whenever:
When I was in my early 20s. I thought i was going to be married with kids. Im 29 and im happy none of that happened especially knowing what I know now. I understand that im not missing out on anything. I believe this is how my life is supposed to be and im happy I never thought I would be. Of course I still have my struggles but im still writing my story, my little life book is still being written as long as im still breathing. I went to see a play called "to kill a mockingbird"with my family. It was fun and i enjoyed it. This is what life is about these experiences and enjoying time with people you ❤️.
Being single gives me peace. I don't have to worry about or stress about petty things. I want to do more to enjoy being single!! I also want to note that you don't have to do all of that to enjoy being single. Even choosing to just lay in late on a Saturday, or going out without makeup, going on self dates, and just relaxing is okay. I try not to even think about being in a relationship. I will stay single for as long as my heart and my mind allows me and will enjoy it because thinking about being in a relationship causes me anxiety and stresses me out.
I do better when I'm single😂 I've had relationships, proposals, situationships,and I realized I love sleeping alone,I don't want to cuddle cause I get hot fast lol,I feed myself whatever I feel like eating,I want complaints abt what I'm not doing or being,I don't have to check in,or wait for a man to get home,etc❤
"Sister, you are the one that is missing. Your self-esteem is missing. The love for yourself is missing." Another great video! What a powerful statement you made, Miss Boye. People need to discover themselves, learn to enjoy spending time alone, learn to have self-love! They are too afraid of being in silence like you said.
I wish even one older woman had told me to never get married. Now that I _am_ one of those older women, I'll be the one to tell all you young single ladies DON'T DO IT! I thought I was getting a partner. Someone who would support me, be my comfort zone, and make my life easier and more fulfilling because that's what we grow up hearing about finding your "one". Instead I just got another person to take care of. I miss being able to randomly go places just cause I felt like it or go hang out with my friends without having to make sure this other person is okay with it first. I miss making decisions and choices without someone else making me justify my reasoning and trying to make me change my mind. I miss having things that were just mine instead of having to share everything. I miss peace and quiet. I miss only worrying about myself. I miss feeling like my own person instead of a half. I miss having my own house. I miss everything. I really want to kick past-me for not appreciating the "boredom" and "loneliness" of being single. Boredom means nothing bad is happening and no one is stressing you out, yelling at you, cheating on you, and making more work for you. And if you think you're lonely when you're single, just wait till you're _still_ lonely even though there's a man sitting right next to you. There are good men out there but there are way more bad ones. The odds aren't in your favor.
Am 24 and so comfortable in my single life...am.glad I am born in an era where I get all this information to be self loving and enjoying my youth and making my decisions I want and experiencing life in a fun and responsible way...am glad and all this especially as a first born daughter....am glad I live as me❤
I am using my singleness to learn my faith. I feel like I was missing that part of my life and taking the time to read and practice my faith without fear distractions is 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 I cant even explain it but 🙏🏾
This video just like spoke to me. I have never had a boyfriend. I always thought if I had a boyfriend I would be a happy person. But as I got older I have now realized you’re in charge of your happiness. I know your friends or people you see on social media can make it seem like they are so happy they have boyfriends or a husband but you shouldn’t compare yourself to them . Enjoy your life, discover yourself, find out who you are, love yourself. Everything will be alright ❤
At the risk of sounding a bit callous, women who regret not appreciating their single life or any bond beyond a romantic partner, then realizing marriage w/o community and not getting to know oneself as a single woman is a tale as old as time. So why are so many women STILL struggling w/ not making men and marriage a core focus in life, like stuff like that doesn’t take time?
A lot of people don’t like sharing their regrets with others. Plus a lot of people are very unforgiving when you talk about your regrets and point out the fact that you made your decisions and now you have to live with them. Especially when it comes to women. Women aren’t allowed to regret, or wish, or fantasize. I loved reading about the concept of “regret“ in the book “regretting motherhood“ by Orna Dornath. For men, they are allowed to start over as many times as they want but for women the only supposed linear path is marriage and motherhood. So to regret that means to regret the life purpose that society has set up for you. Also, misery loves company so there are a lot of people who WANT you to regret so you can be silently miserable like them.
I kinda felt like that too. Like "I'm having fun now single but once I get into a relationship and *hopefully* get married (yuck) I'll finally be a legitimate adult and my *real* life will start." Back then I would be enjoying my singlehood but in the back of my mind was this looming feeling that eventually I will get into a relationship/marriage and have kids, knowing my life would change and I wouldn't be able to do most of the things I can do single. It's not fun.
The lady at 7:17 spoke to my soul- not about marriage focus, that's never been a focus(35, introvert, demi, no long serious relationships), but about living at home & feeling behind. So many things I need to do- get a job, get a job I actually like, therapy, need to get a driver's license, declutter. I feel like I've been waiting to have a "real" life for a long time. To set plans in motion to fully be me. It feels daunting to actually pull off. Small steps. I don't feel like an adult right now. Keeping in mind that this a chapter in life.
I’ve watched too many women I love make men their books instead of chapters in their book. There are always before chapters and those have to be a good read too. There are sometimes chapters after him and we have to have the ability to write them.
I spent my 20s establishing my career and healing. At 30 I decided I was ready. At 32 I've been with my partner for almost 2 years now, and he's lovely. Because I was picky and did the work on myself so I could stand and demand a good man. I don't regret my single years at all. They made me become the badass I always wanted to be, who could demand someone just as awesome. Be single! It's good for you!
I do want to be married and have kids. But, I still live my life. There's amazing things about being able to not cook every night, go on a trip that's whatever I want within my budget. I don't have to accommodate anyone. Also being able to sleep until noon on weekends if I want. No babies or no men begging for breakfast 🤣🤣 But, that first lady looks amazing. Like early 30s at the latest
I have a kid and single i used to be upset because i thought no men would really want me. But I've been so comfortable in my singleness everytime someone has told me I'll find a man I'm like no thank you.
Turning 34, single since birth. Thanks for sharing this, i needed to hear this. When you said that: they don’t even like in the room by themselves.” I felt that deeply, i have been trying to escape the silence by constantly listening to music and podcasts, thanks for reminding me to love myself even in the silence.
Makes me so sad to think that we women have been conditioned to think that our life is worthless unless we're pair-bonded...Like, think about it. Being fat and being single... The two things that might as well be punishable by death as far as society's concerned. Hell, I'm BOTH! I'm surprised the villagers haven't come along with their torches and pitchforks to drag me off and burn me at the stake! 😆😆😆😆😆😆 I laugh, but 😮💨...*peaks out window nervously*
I’m single, 22, and I haven’t been in a relationship or kissed🙈 also I happen to be sick and just like the lady in the video I haven’t rested today either because I have responsibilities to fulfil 😭 I’m living with my family so my life revolves around my parents and siblings schedules (which I’m okay with most of the time because I enjoy the challenge of basically running a household) But I view getting married as something I get to look forward to? I can’t wait to go hiking with my husband and wash dishes in our dishwasher (before we get a couch we’re getting a dishwasher!), not wake up at 5am to make lunchboxes and sleeping in on weekends (at least until we have kids) 😂 after typing all of that I realise that the solution is to move out…
It's true. Single is fun and definitely peaceful. And the more time you spend with yourself in healthy, happy ways, the less BS you will tolerate in your life and your life will become an ambrosia of love and respect.
I think we can learn something from men in this case. We need to enjoy single life. We should date for fun and actually focus on having fun and getting to know them. I see women that are so desperate to marry someone that they are empty inside and a doormat. Then they start to realize they don't like their spouse or that they barely know them or themselves. Women need to understand that marriage is supposed to be about spending the rest of your life with your favorite person, not a life goal. I understand that society is pressuring you and talking about a wall, but you have got to remember they are not marrying them, you are.
I really wanted a relationship and a partner at some point. When I got in a long term relationship it was worse than being single, I didn't enjoy my relationship. We broke up less than a year ago and I am about to travel around China. I can just do that now. I can just decide to go wherever I want and no one will ask me "but what about your partner". I can just move to another country right now and no one can stop me. My ex didn't like traveling and wanted to live in the same city for the rest of his life. I would have to sacrifice my desire to live abroad to be with him. Now I can just do whatever the fck I want! It's great! No one can tell me that it is a waste to spend money on the things I like (is it just me or do men legit think that they are "more responsible with money". I make my own money, so I decide what to do with it). I can do whatever I want. No annoying/toxic MIL anymore. Great
I will not get married unless I know my partner shares responsabilities with me. Never in my life will I take care of the house on my own because I'm a woman, fuck no. You either help me or this isn't gonna work
I can ALWAYS sense when a person man or woman , has a DIFFICULT time just in silence. 😂 I am a people watcher and I am into behaviors and what causes people to do certain things. Just pay attention, these people can’t sit down , they can’t even have silence without fidgeting. They will literally have their television 📺 playing in one room and the radio playing in the other room. At night they have to have noise or some sort of lights on. I honestly don’t think there’s hope for everyone, those people unless they identify their issues with silence, will argue you down if you mention it to them. I love my peace! I love silence! No one will interrupt my peace 🕊️
It ain't over for that woman with the two daughters. They'll be grown soon. Let them and your husband know that your time is now. Go and do something that means something to you, and don't take them with you.
The problem is, not enjoying marriage, I've never been married, but I don't understand why you can't have the same fun. It seems to me that the man is the cause of this, why do they suck the life out of their spouses 😪.
We never truly are that single Like literally never We always have a side guy or a close male friend who can listen to us and even cry to his sholder and how to forget the Orbiters who pay our meals and stuff.
Which side male are you talking about?? I have male colleagues, we only talk work related. Anything further than that and they want to f... you... girl bye.. I donot play these games.
Im recently out of a relationship that i stayed in for way too long out of fear of being single. Now I fear being in a relationship! Feel so free and at peace now ☮️🤍
I’m 29 and have never been in a relationship, something I’ve never openly admitted to loved ones or acquaintances. Before it came from a place of shame and embarrassment- more so when the people around me would gush about how attractive I am in looks and personality, so the idea of drawing attention to my lack of a love life or even body count would feel like a physically excruciating prospect. My own mother, though quietly puzzled at my refusal to put myself out there, has always urged me to keep my celibate nature as my closest guarded secret because she fears I could be a target to people who prey on inexperienced women. Being single my whole life I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on why I choose to remain so: primarily, I will never give anyone permission to drain my energy and time and expect me to pour into them just for existing. I’ve learned to love my own company and only nurture relationships that help me grow in turn. Other contributing factors include having a longstanding history of generational trauma passed down through my female relatives who have fallen victim to abusive men because the times they lived in expected them to settle for marriage. Growing up I was had a very fanciful imagination about love was like, and I know for a fact that if I’d pursued love the way the media portrayed it to be, I would’ve laid myself bare to a world of pain. I can’t wait to make more connections with other women who aren’t ashamed or frightened of any association with the 4b movement. ❤
hello gorgeous 🩵 I found you a couple weeks ago (subscribed immediately) & I just wanted to say how much I adore you & your content! I always look forward to seeing your next video & I just wanna say I really appreciate your frequent uploads, your style of content (showing the TikToks then coming back to chat & share your opinions) & I REALLLLLY, really appreciate that the original creator's names/handles are ALWAYS visible! some creators hide the original creator's username & that irks me to no end lol you are my new favorite creator fr
"Life is like a coin, you can spend it however you want but you get to spend it once".
Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want with your money without having to answer to your man's complaining 😂.
It also keeps you looking hella young for your age
@@autumnwinter5All facts❤
Facts 💯
Yessss❤
To the first woman my advice is, STOP LOOKING AT THE PAST!
Stop looking at your regrets. You're alive, so live! Try an hobby, pour into yourself! It's not wasted years, because you STILL HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE RO LOVE!!!
Where will she find time for a hobby, when she doesn't even have time to stay in bed until she recovers from her flue? That's the whole point of the video.
@omphilemoerane2569 She had plenty of time BEFORE marriage - she's tired, because she married and had kids AFTER age 35. Kids, work, and everything else... she's supposed to be tired.
This first woman made me feel justified in not wanting to tie my life to someone else. Anytime I am in a relationship, it is so stressful for me. The only downside is not having a dual-income home. Even with two-income earning individuals, there is no guarantee of a financial cushion. I am not saying being in a relationship with a great helpful person is a negative thing, NO! However, being single is not the worse that could happen either. SINGLE is a legal marital status, we should not imprison it.
“Single is a whole marital status, we should not imprison it.” ❤❤❤
Girl that dual income only benefit men because we the added work load they add to your life, you will wish you never moved in with them. Trust me I’ve been there, they automatically expect labor the moment they come into your life…
Dang! I felt the first Lady heavy! I don’t have kids nor am I married, but I am NOT maximizing my single years. Huge wakeup call!
Right she looks good for her age
One of the saddest things I have ever heard of was a woman who had been married for 32 years but was only happy the first 3 months of that entire marriage. Women need to learn how to love themselves & fill their own cups. You matter and your life needs to reflect that.
Yes, life isn't over after marriage and kids. I need women to remember to work on their identity after marriage and kids. It's scary how women are deified into their roles and expectations to the point where the woman underneath is a distant memory
@@kumikor3392 I love this❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
First 3mths 👀, not even a yr1 😢
@@neoloanderson6676 imagine. And the husband was abusive.
@@refikhums Horrible 😪
Being single feels so empowering. Every time I enter relationships I get anxiety and anxious. I wish I had been single my entire adult life. Being in these emotionally abusive relationships have been draining. I will continue to date, enjoy the honeymoon phase, then bounce 😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤.Runaway girlfriend 🏃♀️.
😂😂😂
"runaway girlfriend" lmao love it
The happiest time of my life was childhood. I wasn't burdened with being in love or being heartbroken. I wasn't questioning my entire life because I couldn't find a husband. I didn't have to go to a job that I hate. Being an adult and having to accept that your life will never be what you wanted it to be is ghetto.
Omg I feel the exact same way. That was the best time of my life. Never cared about having a boyfriend or husband. Just hung out with my friends and family. I'm slowly going back to that place as an adult. Lol I still have to work but work hard and play hard!
Make your life whatever you want it to be. It's your life.
Ugh, that last sentence. 😢
You sound let you have not set a path for yourself. You have to live or you will never be happy. You will never be satisfied with your life. You will never be happy with yourself.
All of this. You put into words how I’ve been feeling all day.
The one who let her single life to be a placeholder is the perfect example for everyone. Don't let your life be a placeholder for anything. Live it!
Once you’re married and have children, you’ll never understand what is like to enjoy life without someone else’s needs having to be filled.
I used to be so pressed about being single until I looked up and realized that my time was my own which is a HUGE gift. Nowadays, it’s going to take a LOT of convincing for me to give this up for love.
I have realized this in my 20’s enjoy every stage at 38 I take days off from work,go on vacation ,spa days,rainy day finds etc
It's irritating that we treat marriage as "real life" and singlehood as a placeholder. To me, marriage is akin to slavery. We've brainwashed generations of women into believing that marriage is the pinnacle of human existence. For women, marriage is hell. Married women essentially sign up for unpaid servitude, unpaid nanny services, unpaid therapist duties, unpaid event planning duties, unpaid nursing duties and unpaid sex work while being told to expect little from their husbands in return. Women are expected to shoulder a heavy burden to maintain marriages by providing free labor. I'm so glad that there's a shift going on where women are opting out of marriage as well as intimate relationships period and that we're learning that we are whole human beings in our own right apart from being connected to someone else. I'm in my 50s and have never married. When I was younger, I did drink that red kool-aid and wished I had married but after realizing what marriage would actually be like for me, I changed my stance. Now I'm grateful I never settled down. Singlehood is lit, but only if you allow it to be. You don't have to answer to anyone else, you don't have to exhaust yourself performing emotional labor for someone who won't appreciate it, you can do what you want when you want. A man would have to enhance my life and be better than my singlehood. No man has ever fit that bill for me.
Love it! 🥂
Thank you very much for your input .. I'm 23 yr old ... I also don't want to get married ever .... But society around me try to scare me in thinking that I will be miserable when I will cross 30 or 40 or in my old age... But reading input of amazing lady like you gives my confidence... I wish the best for you with lots of love and happiness ❤
Ya especially being a housewife lol they dont living exactly traditional life and telling it makes them happy lol for what serving a man😂😂
The marriage you described is a miserable and oppressive marriage. Unfortunately too many women are in those kinds of marriages. However there are happy, loving healthy marriages. Some single women want marriage later in life and there is nothing wrong with that. The point of the original video was that women should enjoy their time being free and single before they settling down with a spouse and kids, because you won't have that same time and freedom again.
They told my generation that "you can have it all" family and a career but they never told us it was a trap.. your wishes and desires are not a factor anymore, or they are hampered because you can't take risks when your family depends on you. 4B movement is necessary.
Currently planning my trip to Europe with my “single self.” Sometimes people say to me …. You travel by yourself?! Who else am I supposed to travel with?
Nice! I got used to traveling solo. If I need others (safety in numbers) for excursions, I use Meetup and get to meet many different people doing the same thing. I occasionally travel with a friend if we plan far enough ahead, but there's not as much flexibility.
The downside of being a solo traveler is that I want to have similar nature adventures and cultural immersion as some of the white male travel vloggers, but it's not as safe for women. There was one guy who drove across the desert in northern Africa with a bunch of chill local dudes he didn't even know. It seemed fun, but I know I'd never be able to do that for safety reasons.
Travelling by myself has been a game changer for me, yes for safety i will sign up with groups and the number of solo women travellers i meet up is amazing..
Single and in my 20’s I’m so excited to do whatever I want!!! No more time wasters please!
Periodt!!! Your youth is come and go like that, so you better Enjoy it selfishly for your own damn self❤.
As someone who's been single all her life and has never been in a relationship, being single has frustrated me, as i felt like I've worked so hard to attract a man to no avail. This year, 2024 has been the year where i focus on me 💖🌸
Same love
I've been there, done that, and I'm currently happily divorced. I have no desire to tie myself to anyone ever again. I'm living my best life in peace and happy because I'm responsible for no one but myself. Marriage can be beautiful, but don't ever allow your happiness to be tied to that idea. Find yourself, love yourself, and live your life.
Because oddly enough, men are able to maintain their individuality even when married. They still do things with their boys, take time for themselves and not turn their whole personality to been a husband and father. They live their lives independently while in this marriages bt women will drop friends and family the moment they get ring. Some don’t even get ring and they dropping friends and saying my bf is my closest and best friend.
I've enjoyed being single and dating here and there. I will NEVER give it up for trash. I'm not waiting to start my life when I'm married, this is my time to be free and enjoy! I've built my career, I finally got my own place, bought a Beemer, debt free and I'm content.
No one can come and trouble me and they know it. So men tread lightly around me. I'm quick to cut them loose cause I know what I want and I won't settle. I'm not worried, it's all in God's hands and whatever path he chooses I'll accept it cause he knows my heart. Look at Ashanti, she waited for her time and here it is.
🙌🏾
I’m open to have a partner and children in the future, but until then follow my dream, and enjoying the perks of having the refrigerator to myself, and naps whenever:
I never treated single life as a place holder event. Life is too magical for that.
When I was in my early 20s. I thought i was going to be married with kids. Im 29 and im happy none of that happened especially knowing what I know now. I understand that im not missing out on anything. I believe this is how my life is supposed to be and im happy I never thought I would be. Of course I still have my struggles but im still writing my story, my little life book is still being written as long as im still breathing. I went to see a play called "to kill a mockingbird"with my family. It was fun and i enjoyed it. This is what life is about these experiences and enjoying time with people you ❤️.
If you like the play maybe you would enjoy the book. It's a classic written by Harper Lee.
Being single gives me peace. I don't have to worry about or stress about petty things. I want to do more to enjoy being single!!
I also want to note that you don't have to do all of that to enjoy being single. Even choosing to just lay in late on a Saturday, or going out without makeup, going on self dates, and just relaxing is okay.
I try not to even think about being in a relationship. I will stay single for as long as my heart and my mind allows me and will enjoy it because thinking about being in a relationship causes me anxiety and stresses me out.
I do better when I'm single😂 I've had relationships, proposals, situationships,and I realized I love sleeping alone,I don't want to cuddle cause I get hot fast lol,I feed myself whatever I feel like eating,I want complaints abt what I'm not doing or being,I don't have to check in,or wait for a man to get home,etc❤
"Sister, you are the one that is missing. Your self-esteem is missing. The love for yourself is missing." Another great video! What a powerful statement you made, Miss Boye. People need to discover themselves, learn to enjoy spending time alone, learn to have self-love! They are too afraid of being in silence like you said.
Yes! Thank you!
I wish even one older woman had told me to never get married. Now that I _am_ one of those older women, I'll be the one to tell all you young single ladies DON'T DO IT! I thought I was getting a partner. Someone who would support me, be my comfort zone, and make my life easier and more fulfilling because that's what we grow up hearing about finding your "one". Instead I just got another person to take care of. I miss being able to randomly go places just cause I felt like it or go hang out with my friends without having to make sure this other person is okay with it first. I miss making decisions and choices without someone else making me justify my reasoning and trying to make me change my mind. I miss having things that were just mine instead of having to share everything. I miss peace and quiet. I miss only worrying about myself. I miss feeling like my own person instead of a half. I miss having my own house. I miss everything.
I really want to kick past-me for not appreciating the "boredom" and "loneliness" of being single. Boredom means nothing bad is happening and no one is stressing you out, yelling at you, cheating on you, and making more work for you. And if you think you're lonely when you're single, just wait till you're _still_ lonely even though there's a man sitting right next to you. There are good men out there but there are way more bad ones. The odds aren't in your favor.
I'm gonna save this and refer back when I feel a way!❤
Am 24 and so comfortable in my single life...am.glad I am born in an era where I get all this information to be self loving and enjoying my youth and making my decisions I want and experiencing life in a fun and responsible way...am glad and all this especially as a first born daughter....am glad I live as me❤
I am using my singleness to learn my faith. I feel like I was missing that part of my life and taking the time to read and practice my faith without fear distractions is 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 I cant even explain it but 🙏🏾
Your videos keep getting better and better. I can tell you enjoy doing what you do. Keep up the great work.
I appreciate that!
4B
Being Single is so much easier and more fun.
This video just like spoke to me. I have never had a boyfriend. I always thought if I had a boyfriend I would be a happy person. But as I got older I have now realized you’re in charge of your happiness. I know your friends or people you see on social media can make it seem like they are so happy they have boyfriends or a husband but you shouldn’t compare yourself to them . Enjoy your life, discover yourself, find out who you are, love yourself. Everything will be alright ❤
At the risk of sounding a bit callous, women who regret not appreciating their single life or any bond beyond a romantic partner, then realizing marriage w/o community and not getting to know oneself as a single woman is a tale as old as time.
So why are so many women STILL struggling w/ not making men and marriage a core focus in life, like stuff like that doesn’t take time?
A lot of people don’t like sharing their regrets with others. Plus a lot of people are very unforgiving when you talk about your regrets and point out the fact that you made your decisions and now you have to live with them.
Especially when it comes to women. Women aren’t allowed to regret, or wish, or fantasize. I loved reading about the concept of “regret“ in the book “regretting motherhood“ by Orna Dornath. For men, they are allowed to start over as many times as they want but for women the only supposed linear path is marriage and motherhood. So to regret that means to regret the life purpose that society has set up for you.
Also, misery loves company so there are a lot of people who WANT you to regret so you can be silently miserable like them.
I kinda felt like that too. Like "I'm having fun now single but once I get into a relationship and *hopefully* get married (yuck) I'll finally be a legitimate adult and my *real* life will start." Back then I would be enjoying my singlehood but in the back of my mind was this looming feeling that eventually I will get into a relationship/marriage and have kids, knowing my life would change and I wouldn't be able to do most of the things I can do single. It's not fun.
The lady at 7:17 spoke to my soul- not about marriage focus, that's never been a focus(35, introvert, demi, no long serious relationships), but about living at home & feeling behind. So many things I need to do- get a job, get a job I actually like, therapy, need to get a driver's license, declutter. I feel like I've been waiting to have a "real" life for a long time. To set plans in motion to fully be me. It feels daunting to actually pull off. Small steps. I don't feel like an adult right now. Keeping in mind that this a chapter in life.
@InquisitiveSol Thanks! First time bearing my soul to total internet strangers.
It is important to enjoy life while you are alive! Like Yuh Self❤️🖤💚
I’ve watched too many women I love make men their books instead of chapters in their book. There are always before chapters and those have to be a good read too. There are sometimes chapters after him and we have to have the ability to write them.
I spent my 20s establishing my career and healing. At 30 I decided I was ready. At 32 I've been with my partner for almost 2 years now, and he's lovely. Because I was picky and did the work on myself so I could stand and demand a good man. I don't regret my single years at all. They made me become the badass I always wanted to be, who could demand someone just as awesome. Be single! It's good for you!
I do want to be married and have kids. But, I still live my life. There's amazing things about being able to not cook every night, go on a trip that's whatever I want within my budget. I don't have to accommodate anyone. Also being able to sleep until noon on weekends if I want. No babies or no men begging for breakfast 🤣🤣 But, that first lady looks amazing. Like early 30s at the latest
I have a kid and single i used to be upset because i thought no men would really want me. But I've been so comfortable in my singleness everytime someone has told me I'll find a man I'm like no thank you.
Turning 34, single since birth. Thanks for sharing this, i needed to hear this. When you said that: they don’t even like in the room by themselves.” I felt that deeply, i have been trying to escape the silence by constantly listening to music and podcasts, thanks for reminding me to love myself even in the silence.
Priscilla you preached at the end!!
She is preaching TODAY!!!
Makes me so sad to think that we women have been conditioned to think that our life is worthless unless we're pair-bonded...Like, think about it. Being fat and being single... The two things that might as well be punishable by death as far as society's concerned.
Hell, I'm BOTH! I'm surprised the villagers haven't come along with their torches and pitchforks to drag me off and burn me at the stake! 😆😆😆😆😆😆
I laugh, but 😮💨...*peaks out window nervously*
😂
Your speech at the end, wow! We do fail ourself often.
You cheated on yourself....preach sis
I’m single, 22, and I haven’t been in a relationship or kissed🙈 also I happen to be sick and just like the lady in the video I haven’t rested today either because I have responsibilities to fulfil 😭 I’m living with my family so my life revolves around my parents and siblings schedules (which I’m okay with most of the time because I enjoy the challenge of basically running a household) But I view getting married as something I get to look forward to? I can’t wait to go hiking with my husband and wash dishes in our dishwasher (before we get a couch we’re getting a dishwasher!), not wake up at 5am to make lunchboxes and sleeping in on weekends (at least until we have kids) 😂 after typing all of that I realise that the solution is to move out…
It's true. Single is fun and definitely peaceful. And the more time you spend with yourself in healthy, happy ways, the less BS you will tolerate in your life and your life will become an ambrosia of love and respect.
Being single means freedom
Remember the bachelors
I think we can learn something from men in this case. We need to enjoy single life. We should date for fun and actually focus on having fun and getting to know them. I see women that are so desperate to marry someone that they are empty inside and a doormat. Then they start to realize they don't like their spouse or that they barely know them or themselves. Women need to understand that marriage is supposed to be about spending the rest of your life with your favorite person, not a life goal. I understand that society is pressuring you and talking about a wall, but you have got to remember they are not marrying them, you are.
Marriage is a worthless outdated Custom.
Nothing more
I really wanted a relationship and a partner at some point. When I got in a long term relationship it was worse than being single, I didn't enjoy my relationship.
We broke up less than a year ago and I am about to travel around China. I can just do that now. I can just decide to go wherever I want and no one will ask me "but what about your partner". I can just move to another country right now and no one can stop me.
My ex didn't like traveling and wanted to live in the same city for the rest of his life. I would have to sacrifice my desire to live abroad to be with him.
Now I can just do whatever the fck I want! It's great!
No one can tell me that it is a waste to spend money on the things I like (is it just me or do men legit think that they are "more responsible with money". I make my own money, so I decide what to do with it).
I can do whatever I want. No annoying/toxic MIL anymore. Great
Absoulutely Correct, Single is BEST without Kids 😛😅😅😅😅 Self Care, Self Love.
Majority of women i know regret marriage and now getting Divorced 🙄🙄
This hit home 😢
I needed this! Thank you!
I will not get married unless I know my partner shares responsabilities with me. Never in my life will I take care of the house on my own because I'm a woman, fuck no. You either help me or this isn't gonna work
You were living the life that you wanted to live it you made your choice you made your decision, Single females are doing the same .
She's 52?! She doesn't look any older than 30!
I can ALWAYS sense when a person man or woman , has a DIFFICULT time just in silence. 😂
I am a people watcher and I am into behaviors and what causes people to do certain things.
Just pay attention, these people can’t sit down , they can’t even have silence without fidgeting. They will literally have their television 📺 playing in one room and the radio playing in the other room. At night they have to have noise or some sort of lights on.
I honestly don’t think there’s hope for everyone, those people unless they identify their issues with silence, will argue you down if you mention it to them.
I love my peace! I love silence!
No one will interrupt my peace 🕊️
I completely agree with you and I know a few people like that. Very draining people
It ain't over for that woman with the two daughters. They'll be grown soon. Let them and your husband know that your time is now. Go and do something that means something to you, and don't take them with you.
The problem is, not enjoying marriage, I've never been married, but I don't understand why you can't have the same fun. It seems to me that the man is the cause of this, why do they suck the life out of their spouses 😪.
We never truly are that single
Like literally never
We always have a side guy or a close male friend who can listen to us and even cry to his sholder and how to forget the Orbiters who pay our meals and stuff.
Not everyone looks at their friends (male or female) as a romantic potential.
Not everyone have that male friend either. I was very, very single. I only had my blood related family members.
Which side male are you talking about??
I have male colleagues, we only talk work related. Anything further than that and they want to f... you... girl bye..
I donot play these games.
Speak for yourself
Im recently out of a relationship that i stayed in for way too long out of fear of being single. Now I fear being in a relationship! Feel so free and at peace now ☮️🤍
I’m 29 and have never been in a relationship, something I’ve never openly admitted to loved ones or acquaintances. Before it came from a place of shame and embarrassment- more so when the people around me would gush about how attractive I am in looks and personality, so the idea of drawing attention to my lack of a love life or even body count would feel like a physically excruciating prospect. My own mother, though quietly puzzled at my refusal to put myself out there, has always urged me to keep my celibate nature as my closest guarded secret because she fears I could be a target to people who prey on inexperienced women.
Being single my whole life I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on why I choose to remain so: primarily, I will never give anyone permission to drain my energy and time and expect me to pour into them just for existing. I’ve learned to love my own company and only nurture relationships that help me grow in turn. Other contributing factors include having a longstanding history of generational trauma passed down through my female relatives who have fallen victim to abusive men because the times they lived in expected them to settle for marriage. Growing up I was had a very fanciful imagination about love was like, and I know for a fact that if I’d pursued love the way the media portrayed it to be, I would’ve laid myself bare to a world of pain. I can’t wait to make more connections with other women who aren’t ashamed or frightened of any association with the 4b movement. ❤
hello gorgeous 🩵 I found you a couple weeks ago (subscribed immediately) & I just wanted to say how much I adore you & your content!
I always look forward to seeing your next video & I just wanna say I really appreciate your frequent uploads, your style of content (showing the TikToks then coming back to chat & share your opinions)
& I REALLLLLY, really appreciate that the original creator's names/handles are ALWAYS visible! some creators hide the original creator's username & that irks me to no end lol you are my new favorite creator fr