Oh my God! You just described my ex husband which hates taking a bath, brushing his teeth and washing his hands. His higiene is extremely poor. I fell in the trap by trying to help him. I thought he needed help but not. They play victim to attract good heartened people and than abuse them 😢
Umm.. I tried to wash his clothes many times. He blamed me for some wringles as i am purposefully doing it. He baths once in a week. Poor hygiene. I sometimes bath twice a day and he yell and shout at me and also conor me for me taking bath. Other thing he hates about me is i pray to god.
I’m so sorry you guys have also been hurt. I also pray to God and he doesn’t like that at all. He never prays. Only time I saw him praying was at his friends funeral. It was like he had to do it because everyone was watching and he had to put on a façade. He never cries or show any deeply emotion besides hate. Even his laugh isn’t genuine. He has no compassion towards others. He is the most envy person I have ever witnessed in my life. Not even in movies I’ve seen something like. We live separate in the same house still. I’m financially hurt at the moment but I truly hope I can move out as soon as possible! Please you all, pray 🙏🏻 for me! The torment is beyond what I can write here. I’m sure you all know about what I’m saying. Light, peace and love!!!
Yeah! My husband has rotten teeth and he says that his teeth are bad! Lol 😝 nasty shit. We don’t kiss or have intimacy anymore. I’m in a divorce process and haven’t leaved the house yet. His explanation of not brushing the teeth first thing after waking up is that the tooth paste interfere on his morning coffee taste 👅 and of course after that he leaves to go to work without brushing his teeth, frequently, several times a week. And when he decides to brush them, it only take no more than 5 seconds. I also have to sanitize to toilet seat every time I have to use it. Because he has yeast infection and had previously contaminated me with that. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Narc would walk around in days old dirty clothes, but would go to meet up with supplies and take a shower and put back on dirty clothes, just to hide the cheating. If he wasn't meeting up with anyone of them, he wouldn't even wash his hands. It was disgusting to say the least.
So true. He was obsessed with his oral hygiene and bodily hygiene. HOWEVER…his room was a hoarding situation, he would use every dish in the apartment (including mine) and leave them in the sink for weeks until I broke down and cleaned them, his laundry would pile up on the floor, his cat’s litter would stink up the place, and he rarely cleaned up after himself. Confronting him about any of it meant I was “nagging” and trying to “tear [him] down.” Attempting to compromise ended with him raging. I felt like I was living with and responsible for a 27-year-old toddler with serious behavioral issues. Phew, I don’t miss it.
I agree or they live off some type of government assistance and they won't take a side job or anything so no matter what you do they just think there doomed so good luck trying to convince them to improve or excel. Sometimes they make good homemakers there not always lazy but they do make it seem like washing a dish is a huge accomplishment and they might start demeaning you like your not smart enough to wash your own clothes or cook so if your there gf they might reverse it on you and take over your wifely duties to spite you over wanting to make your own money. Narcissists are always one extreme or the other there never balanced. Its very annoying because after awhile you realize you may have to start paying them I actually hate it when people try to wash my clothes too because some people don't understand the concept of bleach and how it messes up your clothes. I might not be in a hurry to do chores but I do know if you rush a task it won't always get done right.
Poor kitty having to use a dirty box. 😢. Yes, I used to get called all kinds of names - including “nag” - when I asked him to clean up his empty bottles. We were still living together at the time. My narc became an alcoholic and it was like living in a bar with his empties all over the place, garbage heaped over (he wouldn’t take it out on his own without me “nagging” to do it). He never helped around the house - at all. Didn’t lift a finger. However, once he moved in with his new supply, he took half my stuff (pots, pans, dinnerware/cutlery, Tupperware - what he used to call “all my crap”) to set up house with her since neither of them had anything. He kept THEIR house clean and tidy - he would even call me for laundry tips on how to launder THEIR clothes and to find out what cleaner I used to use on our floor (he said he preferred my cleaning products). Those people really are a piece of work.
My ex narcissist husband wouldn’t shower every day & I had to tell him to wash his hands.He would get offended when I reminded him🤦♀️.So glad those days are over.
Oh my Goodness, my past Narcissistic Mother was like this; she use to gross me out every time she'd come out of the bathroom and starting cooking dinner with her unwashed bare hands, she would be offended and look at me like I'm weird.. which lead me being nervous eating her unsanitary hands cooking sometime yikes!
Same here, I got both too. The one I got tangled up with always made it a point to shower every day, but his hands were filthy, his false teeth were brown and nasty, he wouldn't shave for days (my punishment because I hated the grey scrufty stubble) and never wore anything but old t-shirts and jeans. Going out was a better t-shirt and same jeans. His apartment was tidy enough but had layers of dust all over every surface and cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. He hadn't cleaned a thing in years. He was gross... 🤢🤮👺🤡💩
Exactly! Which makes no sense. They o look perfect in their eyes. But deeply they know. They act like they are perfect pushing their act onto other people. Disgusting 🤢
Ex didn't like to clean himself or wear clean clothes when I met him 30+ years ago. When he started with his new supply (18 year old), he bought a designer wardrobe & spent hours man's scaping...
He hates to brush his teeth - and refused to brush his tongue - it was gross to kiss him sometimes - and if I asked him to freshen up- he got offended- also a shower was like asking him to move a mountain. It was insane!!! Many fights over him being clean!
The last one I dated had poor hygiene. He didn't shower often and damn sure didn't brush his teeth. The breath funk was indescribable.His apartment looked like a garbage can. The one before him was a cleanliness freak. Both were covert narcissist and are the reason that I have decided to stop dating. I've learned to love my peace and alone time.
I had a very brief encounter with a narcissist. One afternoon he came to my house for something I had to give him at his urging. A man of normal hygiene he showed up with very wrinkled clothing as if the dogs slept on them. They were lint-filled and dirty. His hair was uncombed, he was unshaven and he had bad body odor. things were not going fast enough in our relationship and so I believe that in his mind he was sending me a message. I found out quickly enough what he was thanks to an accidental find on youtube. Before long that relationship ended and I'm very grateful. Some very ugly things about him made themselves evident. If not for divine intervention it could have turned out badly for me. Things on his end took such an abrupt turn that he raged at me during a phone call slamming his wall phone down so hard it damaged my hearing. I understand that he suffered a narcissistic injury. To this day I don't understand why and nor do I care. This is the makeup of a narcissist. I consider myself lucky that I ended things. I've seen stories of how victims lives and psyches were ruined by their victimizers. I believe the world is in a mess because of narcissists.
Phew , close . But I'm sure you wouldn't have endured a smelly , uncouth creature , narc or not anyway . I wish I could have known beforehand what I was getting myself into.
My wife was a zero maintenance woman... Except for her hair. She had to keep her grays hidden. She would go for days without showering, brushing her teeth, putting on deodorant... Any of that typical maintenance when she was off of work for several days at a time. I would go for days without showers, but that was because of just how depressed I was living with her. Being disabled and taking care of the household needs, and never being good enough for her even though she would never lift a finger to help, then would tell me she "helps all the time" and accuse me of "just wanting her to do it all herself" when I ask her why she doesn't help out... I saw no hope in my future with her, but I didn't want to break up with her for my children's sake. Her therapist actually diagnosed me to her as being narcissistic having only had a handful of sessions with me almost 8 years ago after losing everything and almost my life in an apartment fire. Almost 8 years later and all of a sudden, according to my wife, she diagnosed me as being a narcissist... But the problem is I have empathy. I put others needs before my desires. My wife doesn't. Never has unless she was love bombing, hoovering, or breadcrumbing me. I was depressed because I didn't get the kind of love from her that I freely gave to her. It was a one way street. Once I realized that on some level, I just shut down... And in her mind, I think, that made me the narcissist... for running dry after 17 years of trying to love her.
Cleaning was such an issue. Wouldn't brush his teeth consistently . His home was a wreck. Everything was filthy. I would push him to shower. During the devaluation phase, he had the audacity to comment about dust on my car stereo. I laughed and he got upset. I would come to the house and do laundry, fix up the kitchen because I not could take it. I started getting sick every time I was there. I am convinced he had something to do with it. Please talk more about this!
My ex had to be begged to brush his teeth, and would blame me for denying intimacy when I would have, if only he brushed his teeth. But no, the consequences of his inaction are MY fault, of course! Then blame me for his cheating lol, they are so stubborn and resentful. Any request upon them is deemed a subjugation. My narc mom on the other hand, would look with a magnifying glass to see if you dirtied anything in her house; she used cleanliness as a form of control, to seek evidence to hold against you later. Also used the fact that she cleaned as leverage so she could feel like a martyr, while we all “sat around” (ignoring the fact that if we TRIED to help she would get mad and find fault in how we cleaned…so eventually we gave up to save ourselves from verbal abuse). You can never win with a narcissist.
But just to clarify. These are only one of many tell-tale signs of narcissism. Laziness, cleanliness, and hygeine can either be bad or good based on many things. Depression is a huge factor. And remember that taking care of your appearance and loving the way you look isn't automatically narcissistic. But if these are paired with other key signs of narcissism then it definitely becomes clear that they are in fact, a narcissist.
You raised very good points. The pattern of a narcissist's hygeine isn't the same as the sudden changes in hygeine and self care that manifests in trauma victims of narcissistic abuse who have developed ptsd, c-ptsd and/or depression. The same with perfectionism. Children who are abused by narcissistic parents often develop perfectionism as the result of constant put downs and extreme criticism.
@free2think don’t give up, you are such a strong survivor. Do you have a healthy support system, that’s important. You’ve got this, the worst part is over and it can only get better from here. Keep healing! Hugs to you dear One.
All Narcissists are secretly depressed and hate themselves. It's your job to see other signs in combination to see a narcissist. It's mainly with how thet treat people. The behavior of being selfish and not doing the dishes or laundry, not that they're too depressed to do it. Don't get it twisted.
Yep. My ex is a hoarder and unable to do basic hygiene tasks. I always got sick (still do because we share kids) because he never washes his gross hands and gets everyone sick.
That’s what I’m dealing with and it’s so gross. He’ll mow, work on the car and come inside to eat and doesn’t wash his hands. Goes to bed dirty. I moved into an extra bedroom because I can’t stand it.
That is another form of Manipulation. Make themselves so unappealing to you so you won't touch them, or want them to touch you. You sleep in one room and they sleep on the couch. This way it always looks like you are fighting . So when their people show up and see them sleeping on couch they have done their job. Now you are the roommate, or someone who needs a place to crash. They manipulate everyone.
Oh my goodness this is a thing?! I’ve always wondered why such basic things as flushing the toilet never seems to be normal for him…man…this makes so much sense…he actually does think he needs to be served in every way…even now that we’re getting a divorce but still living in the same house, I stopped doing his laundry and cleaning his part of the house, he actually gets his mom to do it…(now I also see she’s a huge enabler) pfff it’s so messed up…
My Narc boyfriend of 6 months was the dirty type and tried to hide it, he would not invite me to his house like ever!, sometimes he would come to college looking dirty and with smelly armpits,He chewed with his mouth opened, he never cleaned out the food stuck I his teeth and he would never wash his hands, however he would make me feel horrible for not chasing a paper that flew from my hands in the wind, called me all sorts of names and said I didn't care about the planet, on one of our outings at the park he would tell me to pick up papers that I didn't liter(which i wouldn't) to cover up for that small piece that I couldn't Chase in the wind I have recently ended the relationship and he can't believe that I broke up with him.
Yes, what is up with their stinking armpits ? He would raise his arm up to hug me and damn, it smelt like rotten onions. I know that they are drug abusers so some of it was from that. But damn.
My was self obsessed cleanliness freak for his personal hygiene, on the other hand he wanted extra ordinary perfection in cleanliness of the house and every thing but was too great to do something to help me out.
SMH mine absolutely the same. We never lived together so imagine him telling me I can't leave a fork or glass in my sink that I was disgustingly dirty he even told me I had to wash my face and brush my teeth if I gave my dog a kiss on her head ... Never again will I fall for the love bomb
this is sooooo true they hate doing laundry😮 they will even wear the same cloths for days in a row and certain about the laundry bc they will throw out their clothes before they wash them… completely insane ‼️
I saw someone for a brief time in which I discovered an active volcano lurking under the surface. My first trip to see him because he was supposedly working until afternoon started out well enough until I lost him following him to the hotel he had booked for me. I'm driving around a town that I knew nothing about only later to find out that he went ahead and went to lunch without me. When we finally did get in touch with each other because my phone had died. An honest mistake, right? He just starts screaming at me over the phone and tells me that I need to figure it out because he's not coming to get me. Finally he does show up all apologetic with the oh honey I'm so sorry you got lost and BLAH BLAH BLAH. We get to the hotel and I check in and I didn't realize that even though I paid in cash they still needed a credit or debit card to keep on file. It's been a long time since I've stayed in a hotel. So of course I don't have one and he goes ballistic again in the hotel lobby in front of other guests and the staff. Needless to say the next morning before he called me I got the hell out of Dodge.
Yeah! My husband has rotten teeth and he says that his teeth are bad! Lol 😝 nasty shit. We don’t kiss or have intimacy anymore. I’m in a divorce process and haven’t leaved the house yet. His explanation of not brushing the teeth first thing after waking up is that the tooth paste interfere on his morning coffee taste 👅 and of course after that he leaves to go to work without brushing his teeth, frequently, several times a week. And when he decides to brush them, it only take no more than 5 seconds. I also have to sanitize to toilet seat every time I have to use it. Because he has yeast infection and had previously contaminated me with that. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
My ex regularly said that it was ridiculous that he had to keep cleaning dishes and laundry, and refused to do it without a tantrum much of the time. He also would not take care of his teeth, and his breath is absolutely disgusting.
I wondered what the heck I got myself into when I first visited my ex's home. The whole hallway was full of junk mail on the floor. The living room had tiny note paper piles on every single surface, even the sofa. His bathroom had rotting floorboards around the horrendous toilet. The bath was full and had a fly in it, it was still there the next week. I didn't clean his house because I had a strong feeling he'd bring other women back there. He didn't even seem to care about his disgusting house
You just explained x Narcissist and his place. Same thing in the bathroom. Disgusting. Hoarder . Collected trinkets from every person that they ever slept with and had it piled everywhere. Outside looked just like inside. I didn't clean it either, I didn't mess it up. And even when it was cleaned, in a half hour it looked like it never was. I don't know if they really lived there or it was just a place to hook up for them and everyone else. It was sickening. I didn't stay.
The Narc that I was involved with for a 6 months was obsessed with cleanliness. And after some reflection I concluded another possibility for her showering often or using sanitary wipes was because she was cheating on me quite often in pursuit of new supply!
I was seeing a narcissist, I though we were more but I was the side chick the whole time. He would clean every inch before he left to make sure when he went home he was in order. So you're probably right
I was too unlucky…,, my handsome, designer / classic dressing Narc…. picks his nose… with gusto.. and observes it…. WHEN HE IS DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for letting me share…. keep up the good work….. we need you 🎉
I commiserate. I taught for years high and middle school. I wish I could forget the nose picking booger eaters. I usually handed them a box of tissues, but that didn’t phase them. Narcs are so fixated on themselves that they believe their bodily waste products are jewels.
My ex was the celebral. I had to ask him to stay on top of his basic hygiene, basically teach him like a mother as his mother was a terrible, neglectful mother. I asked him to help with housework a few times (because i was working) & he said i was treating him like a dog 😆😝
She was unhygienic in many ways, never brushed her teeth, never wanted to bath and just didn't understand this behaviour. Never did laundry for most part.
My Ex would puck up bits that were on the carpet and bits off me almost constantly, yet rarely brushed his teeth, changed his bedding or socks, left smelly work clothes allover, rarely washed the pots (he'd leave old food in the bowls then add new).
My ex husband was a clean freak and he was obsessed with his looks. He often got mad at me because he thought I was supposed to supply him with his clothes and toiletries. I reminded him that he had a job so do it yourself. He didn’t like that very much.
Yes! My narcissist would not shower regularly, clip his nails, get a haircut, do laundry or help clean the house. (This was not the case when he was love bombing me in the beginning) He would however, flip out if I dropped a crumb, didn't make the bed properly or not have my clothes properly ironed..
Narcs place was a pig stye. Rotting food, ants , flies, dirty dishes everywhere, dirty sheets. In the beginning he would clean up some and have clean sheets. 2 months later, yuk. I couldn't drop a piece of paper without him yelling at me. Noo. I didn't stay. I walked away.
The Ex Narc I was with was disgusting!!! She wouldn't bathe for days on end and we would get in fights because she wouldn't brush her teeth. She wouldn't bathe she would just switch her underwear and every last one of them were soiled with poop and skid marks. She would never flush the toilet. She refused to wash dishes or take out the trash when I flew out of town for work, it was hell. This randomly popped up on my timeline and it made me reflect on how much I didn't value myself to put up with this. Life is better now and I respect and value everything this life has to offer. 6 yrs plus of No Contact!!! To anybody that is going through this right now you will survive!!!! Once the smoke clears you will become the greatest version of yourself that you can imagine! You are amazing
Obsessed with cleanliness. No amount of money will do. Facials bleaches hair to hide gray, swears she doesn’t have a single gray hair. Then looks at you like ugh you’re getting old
A covert narcissist girl lives with me; she's a combo of both: never disclosing information early, blaming and belittling people around her later for putting too many cleansers and chemicals in her path, shes promising to keep things clean but doesn't and doesn't shower regularly, and she speaks as if she's hallucinating on you in order to gaslight you.
Karma is the law of cause and effect. Example: a narcissistic spouse gets angry and tries to choke his partner ( cause) and the partner breaks free by going no contact and gets the police involved. ( effect).
Their consequences are losing everyone close to them. Being alone. Struggling to have real connections. Because their supply and anyone who isnt deluded will wake up and leave. Will keep happening until they change and wake up to themselves. And even if they do change they will have to deal with someone exactly like themselves at some point. (Not just a Narcissist consequence. This can happen to any of us. Because you attract likewise people and you will learn from and through others) Theyre A lucky NARC if they don't have legal issues or a mob of people making fun of them on the down low. Either way they're living in a fantasy. Ive never had a narcissist partner. I watched first hand a individual I knew IRL online for a few years . They live on social media and have a audience/orbiters. (Not all people with a audience are narcs btw)(not all physically attractive people are narcs BTW) (the ugly narcs are the worst ones) The Narc that bullied me would have heaps of "friends" and was popular but was far from physically attractive. Never hit the gym but managed to be ridiculously popular. Most of them are supply/some of them are people watching a trainwreck for entertainment. Its fucking sad, quite frankly. THATS the karma and consequences of Narcissm.
My mother is anything but hygienic. When I was young, she had this habit of drinking coffee first thing in the morning without brushing her teeth. She's followed the same thing throughout life. I felt repulsed even as a 7 year old, but didn't say anything to avoid hurting her. She has strong body odor, which i just couldn't stand as a teenager. Her superficial charm helped her get her way in her youth, but to her dismay and anger, it didn't as she grew older. I'm sure she is on the downward spiral. No contact with her since a lot of years.
I was with a narcissist who had a problem with hygiene also doing laundry and I had to assist him with these things. Also it got me physically sick and run down.
Mine was a closeted man. Mine was obsessed with smelling good but bot so much about being clean on it self. He was a mess. A drunk. And since he work with his body( he's a trucker and does moving) but everything else he was gross in the sense that he'd let his cat do whatever.hed wrench himself or in the floor. And thend he'd obsessed cleaning his disgusting messes. Also he avoided kissing. And was a germ freak but also and antivaxer. But he'd freak out if ppl were sick around him. Quiet odddd
Mine is focused only on his hygiene but not one bit neat and tidy with his surroundings. He's followed his hygiene principles for the last 30 years, brushing and showering are his main jobs at home, nothing more than that, his entire focus is on himself, not once do i remember him telling my children about brushing their teeth or reminding them, he's too self centered
I’m so glad you touched on this like God I just could not understand why this man would not brush his teeth everyday. Like you still have yesterday’s meal still on your tongue. Lord. He would bathe but not brush his teeth, how ??
somatic. to the point of making me feel like a slob because I didn't brush my teeth several times a day... he wanted me body perfect. (we live off grid... 🤣)
My 2 were clean freaks.....crazy behavior such as you were trying to eat and they would be ripping plates out from under you and God forbid you EVER sat a coffee cup, wine glass or newspaper or magazine down. They both took multiple showers a day and stared in a mirror more than 10 women. 😆
I've been with several Narccistic situationships through my life. I experienced these on both ends of the spectrum! The only one that I was legally married to was a cleanliness freak, always showed and kept himself clean from head to toe!
My husband is extremely fussy on his dressing and will always ask how he looks, on the other hand he's not clean, thinks 2 showers a week are enough, thankfully we have separate bedrooms and bathrooms
The narcissist i live with rarely cleans or picks up after himself. Left to his own devices, he creates a septic environment with old dishes and food and wrappers and an ashtray overflowing that smells like the mouth of hell. I am struggling to get myself together to move out before the toxicity does me in.
Extreme cleanliness when it came to showering. He said he makes his kids take baths every day right after school. He said his ex don’t bathe them when they are with her because she thinks he does it too much. He has one week and she has one week with them. He also tells them before they go to their moms “you need to bathe because you know your mom won’t let you take a bath”. I left him thank goodness.
My father had a distinct, sharp smell, very unpleasant coming from his body and once he told me that some people do not need to take a shower or do their laundry, because they smell good always and some people, no matter how much they clean their bodies, always smell bad. And even though I was a child then, I knew there was something wrong with him. Didn't trust him at all, didn't trust his words and opinions, I somehow knew, what he said wasn't true. 🤣🤣
I had the unhygienic one ! He was always a mess and took 1shower at my house in 4 months never used the tooth brush I offered him wow thank you for the message ❤
When my narc brother was a child, he lied all summer about brushing his teeth. The night before the first day of school, he walked into the family room and announced in a loud voice that he hadn’t brushed his teeth all summer and that he’d just been saying that he had. He said he’d only been running water over his tooth brush and not really brushing his teeth. The whole family just looked at him. Expressionless. And then returned to what they’d been doing. But he really thought he’d gotten over on everyone. He was very proud of his accomplishment.
I remember many years ago,i went to a guys place,potential BF when i saw his bedroom with clothes,piled unto his bed,that was all i needed to know,,no way!!!
The narc I am married to does not flush the toilet in his bathroom and he is hording stuff in his bedroom. We do not share bedroom nor bathroom, yet he gets mad how I rinse the dishes before putting into the dishwasher. WTH
Oh wow. Yes. Ex narc friend ocd and cleanliness freak, everything in life had to be perfect. Ex husband: disgusting. Although not in the love bombing stage where everything is aftershave and glamour. 😖
A mixture of both really. Always showered and clean clothes every day, always looked good and would brush his teeth until the cycle stopped on the toothbrush. Every bit of cutlery or plates etc had to go into the dish washer even if the spoon had been in and out of a cup in a second, he was always very low on cutlery until the dish washer was put on at night….every night. Things that could easily have been washed and dried by hand. However, his housework could be left for weeks, some shelves never being wiped for months on end, toilets only cleaned every month as was his bedding. Towels washed every 2-3 weeks and with 2 dogs with a lot of hair, the house was hoovered every month. His outside image was way more important than the house because invariably, there was no one ever in it. He had no friends, only his harem of ex girlfriends he would phone or text. He would only clean up if I was going there, that’s why he usually came to mine.
Yes yes yes!! Toddler!! Best description! He brush his teeth like for 20 minutes and told you exactly how he was doing it. He wore his best clothes. And put on Cologne like the whole bottle. And a hoarder. And so messy. 😳Everything was everywhere. Sooo glad he is not here anymore 👏🏻
Mine was sanitarycholic. Paranoic to all the things not being disinfected or dust-free. No cash withdrawals withot prior desinfection etc. I observed this stupidity to the highest degree..
He hardly ever brushed his teeth or had a haircut. Did not wash his hands. However he did shower. He had to stay fresh for all his side chicks and dudes!!
He was a somatic obsessed with cleanliness, perfectionism, compulsivity, self-righteousness. Invested heavily in his appearance. Showered 3 times a day. 🚿
my narcissist has horrible breath idfk what the fk he eats but it smells like SHIT, idk rotten egg or smthng. u can smell it in the car when ur with him even if youre like 4 feet away in the car you cant tell the em anything because he will react aggressively so i just keep my mouth shut
Mine was Extremely hygienic - because he was cheating, he always looked his best when he left the house. Ironically, I was the one who did his laundry, ironed and hung his clothes and bought him the cologne he wore while he was with other women. He shined his shoes.
My exwife refused to wash my clothes, only hers and the childrens. When she vaccumed I had to go over again in the cornes and the rugs and under tables because she did the bare minimal.
GOD BLESS ON GETTING OUT OF THE SITUATION. YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD. YOU ARE HIS DAUGHTER. YOU DESERVE GOOD, NOT BEAD, IN YOUR LIFE. I PRAY YOU HAVE A HEALTHY AND GOOD FUTURE. LOVE YOU.
Oh my God! You just described my ex husband which hates taking a bath, brushing his teeth and washing his hands. His higiene is extremely poor. I fell in the trap by trying to help him. I thought he needed help but not. They play victim to attract good heartened people and than abuse them 😢
No !!! Run !!! Don't look back on either one of them!! By the way, mine was a dirty one.
Umm.. I tried to wash his clothes many times. He blamed me for some wringles as i am purposefully doing it.
He baths once in a week. Poor hygiene.
I sometimes bath twice a day and he yell and shout at me and also conor me for me taking bath. Other thing he hates about me is i pray to god.
I’m so sorry you guys have also been hurt. I also pray to God and he doesn’t like that at all. He never prays. Only time I saw him praying was at his friends funeral. It was like he had to do it because everyone was watching and he had to put on a façade. He never cries or show any deeply emotion besides hate. Even his laugh isn’t genuine. He has no compassion towards others. He is the most envy person I have ever witnessed in my life. Not even in movies I’ve seen something like.
We live separate in the same house still. I’m financially hurt at the moment but I truly hope I can move out as soon as possible!
Please you all, pray 🙏🏻 for me!
The torment is beyond what I can write here. I’m sure you all know about what I’m saying.
Light, peace and love!!!
Yeah! My husband has rotten teeth and he says that his teeth are bad! Lol 😝 nasty shit. We don’t kiss or have intimacy anymore. I’m in a divorce process and haven’t leaved the house yet. His explanation of not brushing the teeth first thing after waking up is that the tooth paste interfere on his morning coffee taste 👅 and of course after that he leaves to go to work without brushing his teeth, frequently, several times a week.
And when he decides to brush them, it only take no more than 5 seconds.
I also have to sanitize to toilet seat every time I have to use it. Because he has yeast infection and had previously contaminated me with that. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Narc would walk around in days old dirty clothes, but would go to meet up with supplies and take a shower and put back on dirty clothes, just to hide the cheating. If he wasn't meeting up with anyone of them, he wouldn't even wash his hands. It was disgusting to say the least.
So true. He was obsessed with his oral hygiene and bodily hygiene. HOWEVER…his room was a hoarding situation, he would use every dish in the apartment (including mine) and leave them in the sink for weeks until I broke down and cleaned them, his laundry would pile up on the floor, his cat’s litter would stink up the place, and he rarely cleaned up after himself. Confronting him about any of it meant I was “nagging” and trying to “tear [him] down.” Attempting to compromise ended with him raging. I felt like I was living with and responsible for a 27-year-old toddler with serious behavioral issues. Phew, I don’t miss it.
I have a sibling like that. So odd.
It really does feel like we’re living with a toddler….so exhausting
I agree or they live off some type of government assistance and they won't take a side job or anything so no matter what you do they just think there doomed so good luck trying to convince them to improve or excel.
Sometimes they make good homemakers there not always lazy but they do make it seem like washing a dish is a huge accomplishment and they might start demeaning you like your not smart enough to wash your own clothes or cook so if your there gf they might reverse it on you and take over your wifely duties to spite you over wanting to make your own money.
Narcissists are always one extreme or the other there never balanced.
Its very annoying because after awhile you realize you may have to start paying them I actually hate it when people try to wash my clothes too because some people don't understand the concept of bleach and how it messes up your clothes.
I might not be in a hurry to do chores but I do know if you rush a task it won't always get done right.
My birthing unit aka “mother”
Poor kitty having to use a dirty box. 😢.
Yes, I used to get called all kinds of names - including “nag” - when I asked him to clean up his empty bottles. We were still living together at the time. My narc became an alcoholic and it was like living in a bar with his empties all over the place, garbage heaped over (he wouldn’t take it out on his own without me “nagging” to do it). He never helped around the house - at all. Didn’t lift a finger. However, once he moved in with his new supply, he took half my stuff (pots, pans, dinnerware/cutlery, Tupperware - what he used to call “all my crap”) to set up house with her since neither of them had anything. He kept THEIR house clean and tidy - he would even call me for laundry tips on how to launder THEIR clothes and to find out what cleaner I used to use on our floor (he said he preferred my cleaning products).
Those people really are a piece of work.
My ex narcissist husband wouldn’t shower every day & I had to tell him to wash his hands.He would get offended when I reminded him🤦♀️.So glad those days are over.
Always got to tell him to wash his hands
Omg so true
Exactly…same. That’s so disgusting and then wonders why I won’t sleep,with him
@@leonardlisa8318
Oh my Goodness, my past Narcissistic Mother was like this; she use to gross me out every time she'd come out of the bathroom and starting cooking dinner with her unwashed bare hands, she would be offended and look at me like I'm weird.. which lead me being nervous eating her unsanitary hands cooking sometime yikes!
Both
At home, hoarding tendencies, and didn’t like to shower much. But, when he goes out he wants to look perfect.
Same here, I got both too. The one I got tangled up with always made it a point to shower every day, but his hands were filthy, his false teeth were brown and nasty, he wouldn't shave for days (my punishment because I hated the grey scrufty stubble) and never wore anything but old t-shirts and jeans. Going out was a better t-shirt and same jeans. His apartment was tidy enough but had layers of dust all over every surface and cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. He hadn't cleaned a thing in years. He was gross... 🤢🤮👺🤡💩
Exactly! Which makes no sense. They o look perfect in their eyes. But deeply they know. They act like they are perfect pushing their act onto other people. Disgusting 🤢
Yes, it's the public persona they have to keep up.
Ex didn't like to clean himself or wear clean clothes when I met him 30+ years ago. When he started with his new supply (18 year old), he bought a designer wardrobe & spent hours man's scaping...
Yes
My ex lived through his body, working to find my replacement. After 29 years he found one! I'm healing now and doing well. Thanks
All the best for you on your way forward ..
So sorry for what you went through
Praying and wishing you much peace and solace ❤
He hates to brush his teeth - and refused to brush his tongue - it was gross to kiss him sometimes - and if I asked him to freshen up- he got offended- also a shower was like asking him to move a mountain. It was insane!!! Many fights over him being clean!
The last one I dated had poor hygiene. He didn't shower often and damn sure didn't brush his teeth. The breath funk was indescribable.His apartment looked like a garbage can. The one before him was a cleanliness freak. Both were covert narcissist and are the reason that I have decided to stop dating. I've learned to love my peace and alone time.
Bloody hell. it seems that narcs are everywhere!! Thanks goodness I'm single. Phew
I had a very brief encounter with a narcissist. One afternoon he came to my house for something I had to give him at his urging. A man of normal hygiene he showed up with very wrinkled clothing as if the dogs slept on them. They were lint-filled and dirty. His hair was uncombed, he was unshaven and he had bad body odor. things were not going fast enough in our relationship and so I believe that in his mind he was sending me a message. I found out quickly enough what he was thanks to an accidental find on youtube. Before long that relationship ended and I'm very grateful. Some very ugly things about him made themselves evident. If not for divine intervention it could have turned out badly for me. Things on his end took such an abrupt turn that he raged at me during a phone call slamming his wall phone down so hard it damaged my hearing. I understand that he suffered a narcissistic injury. To this day I don't understand why and nor do I care. This is the makeup of a narcissist. I consider myself lucky that I ended things. I've seen stories of how victims lives and psyches were ruined by their victimizers. I believe the world is in a mess because of narcissists.
You are sooo lucky, God loves you dearly
Phew , close . But I'm sure you wouldn't have endured a smelly , uncouth creature , narc or not anyway . I wish I could have known beforehand what I was getting myself into.
My wife was a zero maintenance woman... Except for her hair. She had to keep her grays hidden. She would go for days without showering, brushing her teeth, putting on deodorant... Any of that typical maintenance when she was off of work for several days at a time.
I would go for days without showers, but that was because of just how depressed I was living with her. Being disabled and taking care of the household needs, and never being good enough for her even though she would never lift a finger to help, then would tell me she "helps all the time" and accuse me of "just wanting her to do it all herself" when I ask her why she doesn't help out... I saw no hope in my future with her, but I didn't want to break up with her for my children's sake. Her therapist actually diagnosed me to her as being narcissistic having only had a handful of sessions with me almost 8 years ago after losing everything and almost my life in an apartment fire. Almost 8 years later and all of a sudden, according to my wife, she diagnosed me as being a narcissist... But the problem is I have empathy. I put others needs before my desires. My wife doesn't. Never has unless she was love bombing, hoovering, or breadcrumbing me.
I was depressed because I didn't get the kind of love from her that I freely gave to her. It was a one way street. Once I realized that on some level, I just shut down... And in her mind, I think, that made me the narcissist... for running dry after 17 years of trying to love her.
Very familiar
Yes , my ex would ALWAYS trim his nails after every shower make sure his hair was extra pampered and lots of cologne
Same
Yep
Bit of a fairy was he ?😮
@@christianmortimer6407 hehe 😹
Mine was the dirty one. I would be like take a shower brush your teeth wash and put your clothes away. Like I was dating a child 😭🥴
Cleaning was such an issue. Wouldn't brush his teeth consistently . His home was a wreck. Everything was filthy. I would push him to shower. During the devaluation phase, he had the audacity to comment about dust on my car stereo. I laughed and he got upset. I would come to the house and do laundry, fix up the kitchen because I not could take it. I started getting sick every time I was there. I am convinced he had something to do with it. Please talk more about this!
Narcs lace drinks and food with drugs and poison.
It was your instinct warning ⚠️ you.
Cleanliness and control. I was not allowed to do any decorating in our house for 20 years. The only sign I live here is my closet
sounds exactly like mine
I hear you honey, mine is like that too.
I'm a decorating freak. That would be grounds for terminating the relationship for me. I don't know how ya'll could stand it!
He didn't want me to decorate the bathroom make everything nice nothing
Stinking m************
My ex had to be begged to brush his teeth, and would blame me for denying intimacy when I would have, if only he brushed his teeth. But no, the consequences of his inaction are MY fault, of course! Then blame me for his cheating lol, they are so stubborn and resentful. Any request upon them is deemed a subjugation.
My narc mom on the other hand, would look with a magnifying glass to see if you dirtied anything in her house; she used cleanliness as a form of control, to seek evidence to hold against you later. Also used the fact that she cleaned as leverage so she could feel like a martyr, while we all “sat around” (ignoring the fact that if we TRIED to help she would get mad and find fault in how we cleaned…so eventually we gave up to save ourselves from verbal abuse). You can never win with a narcissist.
I have met *3* narcissists. All 3 claimed they didn't *have* sweat glands, therefore, they didn't NEED to shower every day!
😮😮😮
But just to clarify. These are only one of many tell-tale signs of narcissism.
Laziness, cleanliness, and hygeine can either be bad or good based on many things. Depression is a huge factor. And remember that taking care of your appearance and loving the way you look isn't automatically narcissistic.
But if these are paired with other key signs of narcissism then it definitely becomes clear that they are in fact, a narcissist.
You raised very good points. The pattern of a narcissist's hygeine isn't the same as the sudden changes in hygeine and self care that manifests in trauma victims of narcissistic abuse who have developed ptsd, c-ptsd and/or depression. The same with perfectionism. Children who are abused by narcissistic parents often develop perfectionism as the result of constant put downs and extreme criticism.
@free2think don’t give up, you are such a strong survivor. Do you have a healthy support system, that’s important. You’ve got this, the worst part is over and it can only get better from here. Keep healing! Hugs to you dear One.
True , so many levels and variations .
All Narcissists are secretly depressed and hate themselves. It's your job to see other signs in combination to see a narcissist. It's mainly with how thet treat people. The behavior of being selfish and not doing the dishes or laundry, not that they're too depressed to do it. Don't get it twisted.
@@gingerlemon865 I said depression can be a factor, not that it's the only reason.
Yep. My ex is a hoarder and unable to do basic hygiene tasks. I always got sick (still do because we share kids) because he never washes his gross hands and gets everyone sick.
That’s what I’m dealing with and it’s so gross. He’ll mow, work on the car and come inside to eat and doesn’t wash his hands. Goes to bed dirty. I moved into an extra bedroom because I can’t stand it.
That is another form of Manipulation. Make themselves so unappealing to you so you won't touch them, or want them to touch you. You sleep in one room and they sleep on the couch. This way it always looks like you are fighting . So when their people show up and see them sleeping on couch they have done their job. Now you are the roommate, or someone who needs a place to crash. They manipulate everyone.
They want to get you sick
They want you to lower your standards
@@Tina-si1gz mine was a mechanic and he would never wash his hands after work and he’ll sleep in his dirty uniform
Oh my goodness this is a thing?! I’ve always wondered why such basic things as flushing the toilet never seems to be normal for him…man…this makes so much sense…he actually does think he needs to be served in every way…even now that we’re getting a divorce but still living in the same house, I stopped doing his laundry and cleaning his part of the house, he actually gets his mom to do it…(now I also see she’s a huge enabler) pfff it’s so messed up…
Mine never flushed... often wouldn't wash his hands after a shite...ewww
I'm sure you'll be greatly relieved when it's all over .
My Narc boyfriend of 6 months was the dirty type and tried to hide it, he would not invite me to his house like ever!, sometimes he would come to college looking dirty and with smelly armpits,He chewed with his mouth opened, he never cleaned out the food stuck I his teeth and he would never wash his hands, however he would make me feel horrible for not chasing a paper that flew from my hands in the wind, called me all sorts of names and said I didn't care about the planet, on one of our outings at the park he would tell me to pick up papers that I didn't liter(which i wouldn't) to cover up for that small piece that I couldn't Chase in the wind
I have recently ended the relationship and he can't believe that I broke up with him.
Yes, what is up with their stinking armpits ? He would raise his arm up to hug me and damn, it smelt like rotten onions. I know that they are drug abusers so some of it was from that. But damn.
Should have kicked him up the the ass .
The cerebral kind who made me do all the chores cos he didn’t want to waste his time on such unimportant things.
My was self obsessed cleanliness freak for his personal hygiene, on the other hand he wanted extra ordinary perfection in cleanliness of the house and every thing but was too great to do something to help me out.
Same!!! Mine constantly showers...and freaks out about the house! Our house is spotless...but I will place things randomly just to make him squirm! 🤷
SMH mine absolutely the same. We never lived together so imagine him telling me I can't leave a fork or glass in my sink that I was disgustingly dirty he even told me I had to wash my face and brush my teeth if I gave my dog a kiss on her head ... Never again will I fall for the love bomb
@@jenniechurch5337 instead of provoking you should just break up.
My ex was very clean at the beginning then towards the end he was nasty af
Wore 2 masks did he . Fortunately he's your ex .
this is sooooo true they hate doing laundry😮 they will even wear the same cloths for days in a row and certain about the laundry bc they will throw out their clothes before they wash them… completely insane ‼️
Yes even if the clothes has stains in them they’ll still wear them every day.
I don't think wearing the same shirt a few days in a row is narcissistic on its own if you are otherwise clean and fresh
My ex narc thought he was too good to bathe and brush his teeth, but made a big deal that I did so
Yes! Yes! Yes! Exactly that. All part of the, "I follow my OWN rules, just watch me".
Unbelievable 😢
I saw someone for a brief time in which I discovered an active volcano lurking under the surface. My first trip to see him because he was supposedly working until afternoon started out well enough until I lost him following him to the hotel he had booked for me. I'm driving around a town that I knew nothing about only later to find out that he went ahead and went to lunch without me. When we finally did get in touch with each other because my phone had died. An honest mistake, right? He just starts screaming at me over the phone and tells me that I need to figure it out because he's not coming to get me. Finally he does show up all apologetic with the oh honey I'm so sorry you got lost and BLAH BLAH BLAH. We get to the hotel and I check in and I didn't realize that even though I paid in cash they still needed a credit or debit card to keep on file. It's been a long time since I've stayed in a hotel. So of course I don't have one and he goes ballistic again in the hotel lobby in front of other guests and the staff. Needless to say the next morning before he called me I got the hell out of Dodge.
Mine was Like the cerebral one, brushing his teeth was like A Burden and when he developed a Cavities, He Blamed to the Dentist!?!?!? ❤️🙃
Yeah! My husband has rotten teeth and he says that his teeth are bad! Lol 😝 nasty shit. We don’t kiss or have intimacy anymore. I’m in a divorce process and haven’t leaved the house yet. His explanation of not brushing the teeth first thing after waking up is that the tooth paste interfere on his morning coffee taste 👅 and of course after that he leaves to go to work without brushing his teeth, frequently, several times a week.
And when he decides to brush them, it only take no more than 5 seconds.
I also have to sanitize to toilet seat every time I have to use it. Because he has yeast infection and had previously contaminated me with that. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
My ex regularly said that it was ridiculous that he had to keep cleaning dishes and laundry, and refused to do it without a tantrum much of the time. He also would not take care of his teeth, and his breath is absolutely disgusting.
Omg he was so child like in this way. It was dealing with a toddler!
Exactly....... they compare themselves with kids sometimes
OMG....u said it.....he was bored of brushing teeth
They are children
Changing nappies were you ?
I wondered what the heck I got myself into when I first visited my ex's home. The whole hallway was full of junk mail on the floor. The living room had tiny note paper piles on every single surface, even the sofa. His bathroom had rotting floorboards around the horrendous toilet. The bath was full and had a fly in it, it was still there the next week. I didn't clean his house because I had a strong feeling he'd bring other women back there. He didn't even seem to care about his disgusting house
Omg my mom had the same experience when moving in with my dad. So many things are connecting.
Clothes smelled like mildew
🧐
You just explained x Narcissist and his place. Same thing in the bathroom. Disgusting. Hoarder . Collected trinkets from every person that they ever slept with and had it piled everywhere. Outside looked just like inside. I didn't clean it either, I didn't mess it up. And even when it was cleaned, in a half hour it looked like it never was. I don't know if they really lived there or it was just a place to hook up for them and everyone else. It was sickening. I didn't stay.
Don’t do laundry because it’s beneath them 🤣
🤣🤣🤣
UNTIL they are love bombing a new supply….then they’ll do everything that you had wanted them to do
Cleanliness freak, shower atleast 4 times in a day, always in front of mirror 🤣🤣🤣
The Narc that I was involved with for a 6 months was obsessed with cleanliness. And after some reflection I concluded another possibility for her showering often or using sanitary wipes was because she was cheating on me quite often in pursuit of new supply!
I was seeing a narcissist, I though we were more but I was the side chick the whole time. He would clean every inch before he left to make sure when he went home he was in order. So you're probably right
I was too unlucky…,, my handsome, designer / classic dressing Narc…. picks his nose… with gusto.. and observes it….
WHEN HE IS DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you for letting me share…. keep up the good work….. we need you 🎉
I commiserate. I taught for years high and middle school. I wish I could forget the nose picking booger eaters. I usually handed them a box of tissues, but that didn’t phase them. Narcs are so fixated on themselves that they believe their bodily waste products are jewels.
Excessive cleanliness, perfectionist, I can't do it right bcas it's his way, or his mommy's way!
My ex was the celebral. I had to ask him to stay on top
of his basic hygiene, basically teach him like a mother as his mother was a terrible, neglectful mother. I asked him to help with housework a few times (because i was working) & he said i was treating him like a dog 😆😝
She was unhygienic in many ways, never brushed her teeth, never wanted to bath and just didn't understand this behaviour. Never did laundry for most part.
Mine is this strange mix- very hot on personal hygiene but wouldn't think it was ever his job to strip the bed and launder the sheets. Ugh.
Damn I didn’t realize this was part of it!! Mine lives like a dirtbag and I have never understood
My soon to be ex narcissist obsessed with his body and cleanliness but he’s a hoarder.
So true my hubby says everyday y are we not like animals ,it's so boring to brush nd bath everyday
My Ex would puck up bits that were on the carpet and bits off me almost constantly, yet rarely brushed his teeth, changed his bedding or socks, left smelly work clothes allover, rarely washed the pots (he'd leave old food in the bowls then add new).
OMG! My husband does the same! I’m sorry! They are nasty 🤢
My ex husband was a clean freak and he was obsessed with his looks. He often got mad at me because he thought I was supposed to supply him with his clothes and toiletries. I reminded him that he had a job so do it yourself. He didn’t like that very much.
Yes! My narcissist would not shower regularly, clip his nails, get a haircut, do laundry or help clean the house. (This was not the case when he was love bombing me in the beginning) He would however, flip out if I dropped a crumb, didn't make the bed properly or not have my clothes properly ironed..
Narcs place was a pig stye. Rotting food, ants , flies, dirty dishes everywhere, dirty sheets. In the beginning he would clean up some and have clean sheets. 2 months later, yuk. I couldn't drop a piece of paper without him yelling at me. Noo. I didn't stay. I walked away.
The Ex Narc I was with was disgusting!!! She wouldn't bathe for days on end and we would get in fights because she wouldn't brush her teeth. She wouldn't bathe she would just switch her underwear and every last one of them were soiled with poop and skid marks. She would never flush the toilet. She refused to wash dishes or take out the trash when I flew out of town for work, it was hell. This randomly popped up on my timeline and it made me reflect on how much I didn't value myself to put up with this. Life is better now and I respect and value everything this life has to offer. 6 yrs plus of No Contact!!! To anybody that is going through this right now you will survive!!!! Once the smoke clears you will become the greatest version of yourself that you can imagine! You are amazing
Obsessed with cleanliness. No amount of money will do. Facials bleaches hair to hide gray, swears she doesn’t have a single gray hair. Then looks at you like ugh you’re getting old
A covert narcissist girl lives with me; she's a combo of both: never disclosing information early, blaming and belittling people around her later for putting too many cleansers and chemicals in her path, shes promising to keep things clean but doesn't and doesn't shower regularly, and she speaks as if she's hallucinating on you in order to gaslight you.
My Ex would go back and forth between being ocd and unhygienic.
Mine was somatic, even used my wrinkle-preventing lotions and night creams 😳
I’ve encountered both type of narcissist unfortunately
You just described the narcissist I'm living with now, unclean to the max.
Can you make a video on karma for a narcissist or a cheater?
Karma is the law of cause and effect. Example: a narcissistic spouse gets angry and tries to choke his partner ( cause) and the partner breaks free by going no contact and gets the police involved. ( effect).
@@timmywitty1432 but not everybody gets caught and face punishments for their mistakes.
@@mounikasharma82 all of who they are is their own karma. Ground hog’s day. Nothing ever changes for them.
@@timmywitty1432 thanks for this wonderful explanation. Hope that repeats and people get caught and punished.
Their consequences are losing everyone close to them. Being alone. Struggling to have real connections. Because their supply and anyone who isnt deluded will wake up and leave.
Will keep happening until they change and wake up to themselves. And even if they do change they will have to deal with someone exactly like themselves at some point. (Not just a Narcissist consequence. This can happen to any of us. Because you attract likewise people and you will learn from and through others)
Theyre A lucky NARC if they don't have legal issues or a mob of people making fun of them on the down low. Either way they're living in a fantasy.
Ive never had a narcissist partner. I watched first hand a individual I knew IRL online for a few years . They live on social media and have a audience/orbiters. (Not all people with a audience are narcs btw)(not all physically attractive people are narcs BTW) (the ugly narcs are the worst ones) The Narc that bullied me would have heaps of "friends" and was popular but was far from physically attractive. Never hit the gym but managed to be ridiculously popular. Most of them are supply/some of them are people watching a trainwreck for entertainment. Its fucking sad, quite frankly. THATS the karma and consequences of Narcissm.
Both of them are full of themselves 😂
My mother is anything but hygienic. When I was young, she had this habit of drinking coffee first thing in the morning without brushing her teeth. She's followed the same thing throughout life. I felt repulsed even as a 7 year old, but didn't say anything to avoid hurting her. She has strong body odor, which i just couldn't stand as a teenager. Her superficial charm helped her get her way in her youth, but to her dismay and anger, it didn't as she grew older. I'm sure she is on the downward spiral. No contact with her since a lot of years.
“Evil is a vulgar lover of only the body and not the soul” -Plato
I was with a narcissist who had a problem with hygiene also doing laundry and I had to assist him with these things. Also it got me physically sick and run down.
Physically sick from the dirt on him and in his home. I couldn't take it.
Mine was a closeted man. Mine was obsessed with smelling good but bot so much about being clean on it self. He was a mess. A drunk. And since he work with his body( he's a trucker and does moving) but everything else he was gross in the sense that he'd let his cat do whatever.hed wrench himself or in the floor. And thend he'd obsessed cleaning his disgusting messes. Also he avoided kissing. And was a germ freak but also and antivaxer. But he'd freak out if ppl were sick around him. Quiet odddd
Mine is focused only on his hygiene but not one bit neat and tidy with his surroundings. He's followed his hygiene principles for the last 30 years, brushing and showering are his main jobs at home, nothing more than that, his entire focus is on himself, not once do i remember him telling my children about brushing their teeth or reminding them, he's too self centered
Mine was a slob at home but presentable in front of people. He would obsessively brush his teeth but wouldn’t bathe for days
I’m so glad you touched on this like God I just could not understand why this man would not brush his teeth everyday. Like you still have yesterday’s meal still on your tongue. Lord. He would bathe but not brush his teeth, how ??
somatic. to the point of making me feel like a slob because I didn't brush my teeth several times a day... he wanted me body perfect.
(we live off grid... 🤣)
🤣🤣🤣
@@lindasharpe7039
What part of that was amusing to you?
My 2 were clean freaks.....crazy behavior such as you were trying to eat and they would be ripping plates out from under you and God forbid you EVER sat a coffee cup, wine glass or newspaper or magazine down. They both took multiple showers a day and stared in a mirror more than 10 women. 😆
He take care of his appearance, but is unhygienic at home. Asking for him to brush once created huge drama, still haunts me.
I've been with several Narccistic situationships through my life. I experienced these on both ends of the spectrum! The only one that I was legally married to was a cleanliness freak, always showed and kept himself clean from head to toe!
Mine was OCD with cleanliness. He denied being that way of course.
My husband is extremely fussy on his dressing and will always ask how he looks, on the other hand he's not clean, thinks 2 showers a week are enough, thankfully we have separate bedrooms and bathrooms
Always obsessed with cleanliness. Called me dirty. Then they drink 20 drinks and stink like hell.
The narcissist i live with rarely cleans or picks up after himself. Left to his own devices, he creates a septic environment with old dishes and food and wrappers and an ashtray overflowing that smells like the mouth of hell. I am struggling to get myself together to move out before the toxicity does me in.
Novo!
FLEE !!! Quick quick ! You are worthy of respect and cleanliness!
I dealt with both and yes just by looking at them you can tell the extremes in looks and behavior.
You're right about the obsessed ones 👍
Yes!! My former husband didn’t brush his teeth. Breath stank soooo bad. And yes he was a narc. Never understood it. Thank God I’m free from this.
Extreme cleanliness when it came to showering. He said he makes his kids take baths every day right after school. He said his ex don’t bathe them when they are with her because she thinks he does it too much. He has one week and she has one week with them. He also tells them before they go to their moms “you need to bathe because you know your mom won’t let you take a bath”. I left him thank goodness.
I had the one who was obsessed with cleanliness
My father had a distinct, sharp smell, very unpleasant coming from his body and once he told me that some people do not need to take a shower or do their laundry, because they smell good always and some people, no matter how much they clean their bodies, always smell bad. And even though I was a child then, I knew there was something wrong with him. Didn't trust him at all, didn't trust his words and opinions, I somehow knew, what he said wasn't true. 🤣🤣
“Brushing their teeth can feel like moving a mountain” 😂😂
I had the unhygienic one ! He was always a mess and took 1shower at my house in 4 months never used the tooth brush I offered him wow thank you for the message ❤
When my narc brother was a child, he lied all summer about brushing his teeth. The night before the first day of school, he walked into the family room and announced in a loud voice that he hadn’t brushed his teeth all summer and that he’d just been saying that he had. He said he’d only been running water over his tooth brush and not really brushing his teeth. The whole family just looked at him. Expressionless. And then returned to what they’d been doing. But he really thought he’d gotten over on everyone. He was very proud of his accomplishment.
I had a dirty one and not just with his hygiene.
I had one of each. Lucky me.🙄 One used to only shower after he mowed the lawn (once weekly) if and only if he was going to work right after.. Eeeewww!
I remember many years ago,i went to a guys place,potential BF when i saw his bedroom with clothes,piled unto his bed,that was all i needed to know,,no way!!!
My mother is one; my sister the other.
The narc I am married to does not flush the toilet in his bathroom and he is hording stuff in his bedroom. We do not share bedroom nor bathroom, yet he gets mad how I rinse the dishes before putting into the dishwasher. WTH
Some are obsessed with their bodily waste.
Oh wow. Yes. Ex narc friend ocd and cleanliness freak, everything in life had to be perfect. Ex husband: disgusting. Although not in the love bombing stage where everything is aftershave and glamour.
😖
This can be symptomatic of alot of things, not just narcissism.
A mixture of both really. Always showered and clean clothes every day, always looked good and would brush his teeth until the cycle stopped on the toothbrush. Every bit of cutlery or plates etc had to go into the dish washer even if the spoon had been in and out of a cup in a second, he was always very low on cutlery until the dish washer was put on at night….every night. Things that could easily have been washed and dried by hand.
However, his housework could be left for weeks, some shelves never being wiped for months on end, toilets only cleaned every month as was his bedding. Towels washed every 2-3 weeks and with 2 dogs with a lot of hair, the house was hoovered every month. His outside image was way more important than the house because invariably, there was no one ever in it. He had no friends, only his harem of ex girlfriends he would phone or text. He would only clean up if I was going there, that’s why he usually came to mine.
Yes yes yes!! Toddler!! Best description! He brush his teeth like for 20 minutes and told you exactly how he was doing it. He wore his best clothes. And put on Cologne like the whole bottle. And a hoarder. And so messy. 😳Everything was everywhere. Sooo glad he is not here anymore 👏🏻
His showers. And he was upset when I first showered at his place, because I forgot where he told me to put the washrags.
Mine was sanitarycholic. Paranoic to all the things not being disinfected or dust-free. No cash withdrawals withot prior desinfection etc. I observed this stupidity to the highest degree..
He hardly ever brushed his teeth or had a haircut. Did not wash his hands.
However he did shower.
He had to stay fresh for all his side chicks and dudes!!
Mine literally takes 3 showers a day sometimes. But ironically most Narcs I know don't really wash their hands..
Makes so much sense … 😢❤😮
He was a somatic obsessed with cleanliness, perfectionism, compulsivity, self-righteousness. Invested heavily in his appearance. Showered 3 times a day. 🚿
my narcissist has horrible breath idfk what the fk he eats but it smells like SHIT, idk rotten egg or smthng. u can smell it in the car when ur with him even if youre like 4 feet away in the car
you cant tell the em anything because he will react aggressively so i just keep my mouth shut
Yes, the ones I knew had a smell like death. Probably cos they’re dead and rotten on the inside 🤷♀️
Flee ! You are worth good smells and basic respect and affection.
@@vickyb6588omg!!!
Mine was Extremely hygienic - because he was cheating, he always looked his best when he left the house. Ironically, I was the one who did his laundry, ironed and hung his clothes and bought him the cologne he wore while he was with other women. He shined his shoes.
Somatic. Always a flawless and perfect looking peacock in social appearances.
My exwife refused to wash my clothes, only hers and the childrens. When she vaccumed I had to go over again in the cornes and the rugs and under tables because she did the bare minimal.
Hi All, my ex was so clean,taking 40 min showers,it made me sick. When that WATER bill came IN, I 😲🤕instantly🥵got sicker😅😂
Yes you are right I dated one who didn't take care of his hygiene!!! Bathing or brushing his teeth
GOD BLESS ON GETTING OUT OF THE SITUATION. YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD. YOU ARE HIS DAUGHTER. YOU DESERVE GOOD, NOT BEAD, IN YOUR LIFE. I PRAY YOU HAVE A HEALTHY AND GOOD FUTURE. LOVE YOU.
Evidently I collect narcissists I've had both of those and more.