You deserve the best Danish, and I hope and pray you have unsurmountable peace for dedicating your life to helping victims of narc abuse. Prayers going up for you 🙏💌
Danish thanks so much from me too. You have a really good way of teaching. I'm not sure if you've mentioned this one that I read the other day: your body will tell you, so listen to your body. This happened when he came over to do some work. I couldn't be around him. I had to go inside. I didn't know what it meant however. Now we've accidentally given him a narcissistic injury and the police have taken over. If I listened to my body and paid attention we wouldn't have been friends with him at all.
yes...how perfect..!! even if they are not doing anything to you, their presence itself is so toxic or intimidating that you don't even want to be in that radius...in their absence life becomes so positive!!
Abuse via passive aggressive means. Manipulation, Withholding, gaslighting, mind games, disrespect, inconsideration, apathetic affection, coldness. When you confront them they deny it all
For me- it's made even more tricky as he can "hide" because I "met" him online dating. I'm sorry this may be rather long but I'm trying to work out exactly why I'm so unhappy. 1) it feels Spiritual. He's a professed Atheist & I'm a Christian 2) breadcrumbs - just my narc mother- NOW 3)...Like done "something wrong" to displease him 4) started off lovebombing me With xx & voicemail saying such lovely things 5) inability to be accountantable EVER ever to his part & to say a real Sorry 6) future faking by a previous wish to come see me & then making his non-visit ALL MY FAULT .... Ie - It's an implication I've been bad & upset him... Any issue is super-amplified & ramped up to being ridiculous. 7) talking about his last distant relationship with an American (we are both UK). I say I'm unhappy about hearing about her. The UPSET thus has caused me Stories aboit spending 11 grand on her (£11,000 UK sterling) Plans to live with her. My deep hurt is That too.... Like a TRIANGULATION of how much he did for her When he has made x2 plans to come to see me but never has been So it's a highly Skilled 8) covert gaslighting Devalue & Discard 9) exactly:- Passive aggressive in feeling I Cannot bring up anything. 10) most warmth shown EVER was around wanting sex online & last a Web cam (I declined) 11) sexual manipulation....but Very covert 12) feels like I've been "bad" when he goes cold & distant. 13) any issue is super rampted up as being Enormous. I bring up my issue trying to stop binge drinking evenings. Again he brings in his ex & her drinking Vodka out a brown bag!! Hardly the same = again blame & guilt for having a life struggle. WITHHOLDING affection having once given it. It's just such a fog they create. It steals ur peace.
Gosh Danish, your descriptions of what narcissist abuse looks like. You literally took my breath away when you said that the room feels like its filled with poisonous gas, but you can’t find the source!! Wow! That hit in a real way. You are so unbelievably clear about your Narc knowledge, ALWAYS 1000% on target with how covert abuse is so crippling to those who can’t make sense of what’s happening to their mind. Thank you 🙏 It is so key that people to educate themselves as to the truth a
In 1966 until 1982.....ended it, but not until 2021, 100%.....2021 ended it entirely. Then I went no contact forever. Happy now and healed because of you tube internet and victims and clinical psychologists with phds and you Danish. I feel complete now. I completed my search. Thanks. You closed my search for my answers now.
So very true, they know exactly what their doing, they enjoy putting you into that confused state, it’s power to them, they thrive on it until we wake up. Then it’s up to us to move on, and get the hell out of there.
I was always sad or felt uncomfortable and when I brought up issues or concerns they would make me feel like I was making them out to be the bad guy or the issue is because of them. I would just ask. I could never figure out what it was but there was always something off even when things seemed really really good, like I was constantly "watching my back" but didn't understand why I felt the need to.
Can’t ever tell him how I feel. I wanted to send my other son who lives w his father, a video of a movie because he’s obsessed with Super Mario. And he starts up with “I’m sure they know about it and seen it. You and your ex are nerds so I’m sure he knows, you wanna bet? Whatever just text your love about the movie” I asked nicely and calmly “there was no need for that and since my son is only 5 he doesn’t have his own cell so of course I have to go through his dad” he “playfully “ then closed fisted tapped my solders son on the side of his cheek. I’m glad I turned around just in time to see it. I can never even ask nicely for him to respect me and he blows up w insults to me as well as my son Carter. I’m tired I’m tired. Of being controlled. I’m tired of not having money and being stopped from making money to help us and get my car fixed. I am tired I am stresssd and depressed. I’m going out of my mind.
@@solmck737oh wow I'm so sorry you have to go through that with him it really sucks, I hope over time you are able to get better with handling it and finding peace in the chaos ❤️ you're not alone.
This channel honestly is the first channel describing all of the pains I have felt with more than one narcissist. Feeling disrespect, emotional torture and trying to ignore my pain but.eventually I would express my thought or opinion bc ai felt ignored, mistreated etc. Then they would be demeaning or making me feel demanding and they would be the one 'baring with me' despite my expression...they didn't literally say that but I felt this connection was not equal...
I get you! My sister demeans me with sly comments. One example. She knows I'm good at art my mum and dad put 2 if my artworks on their wall. My dad's got a progressive illness. I got him painting by numbers which he struggled to do & it was a bit messy but hey he did it in his own way & he achieved painting something. My wonderful sister comes over & I say look what dad did all excited. Her reply: oh I thought you had done that ! That is the stings I receive from her so I no longer try to engage with her not because it's a critical thing about my art. It was the way she ignored what dad had achieved & was trying to hit me where it hurts.
😢yes I can resonate by always took the blame to keep the peace that is until he rejected giving affection, some thing clicked & as hard as it was to leave, I got the courage and made my decision
First of all Sir THANK YOU, GOD BLESS YOU for ALLL THE AMAZING FACTUAL VIDEOS ON THESE MONSTERS IF SOCIETY. You have saved my life LITERALLY. My narc had me contemplating "The End" of me. Your videos have given me hope and that IT WASN'T ME WHO WAS THE PROBLEM. THANK YOU AGAIN. I work with my ex Narc and a female narc who works close to me daily. I HAVE CUT THEM BOTH OUT OF MY LIFE AS MUCH AS I CAN. THEY ARE MONSTERS WALKING AMONG US.
Absolutely yes!!!! The poisonous gas that fills the room really resonated with me!! Not overtly abusive, but quietly, behind the scenes, controlling the narrative with those you love, resulting in the worst abuse ever! Harming you through the people you love. Using and manipulating them, with no regard as to how it is hurting them as well. They simply don’t care. As long as they can somehow come out of it all smelling like a rose, they don’t care who gets hurt.
This is the truest statement that I have ever felt! You are on point with every single one of your videos. Happy healing to everyone who are in the comments. We are here because we have all felt this pain! Life is better on the other side.
Thank you for this. This is my sister!! I have been waiting for my sister to be my sister & act like a sister all my life. She left home at 15 with a 23 year old man She got married to him & pregnant by him. He smacked my dad in the face years ago & damaged his left eyelid. I can't forgive him for hitting my dad. The Reason why? Because my sister wasn't talking to my mum & dad they sent her a birthday cake & cards on her 21st to build bridges. The cards were found ripped up in the garden. My dad went round to ask why he ripped them up. Her husband had keys in his hand & his brothers watching. Since then she has been distant & defends her husband saying it was my dad's fault. It hurts she does these 2 signs. To this day she has been horrible to me since our mum went into a home. Instead of being closer she backs off. So ive had to go to counselling & no matter how much they tell me to keep away & she won't change I expect her to change but she doesn't. I realise she doesn't want me it hurts. She's 60 & I'm 53. I'm looking after dad mainly on my own because she avoids everything. I am having to retrain my brain to accept she will never be the sister i thought she would be.
I wish I could come across your channel atleast a year back. Otherwise wouldn't have given him the second chance to destroy me to the core emotionally.
Been there done that... Finally learned to give up and let go after learning about NPD and draining my bank account... Sometimes we must learn the hard way especially when we love or trauma bonded because of the push-pull, gas lighting, and confusion. When we finally understand it makes a difference because our eyes are open to the people we have known for years and much quickly can reject other people that are only users.
On point as usual! I felt ALL of this! Now that I am away, seeing clearly seems like the understatement of the year. He beat me down and made me meek, mild and mannerly. Now, after 2 years, I have found my fighter again. She’s not perfect, but she’s coming ‘round. Thank you Danish, education is the key to these ticking time bombs and staying clear of them.
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That is EXACTLY RIGHT. 💯 percent reality. A relative of mine is a Vulnerable Narcissist and that's how it was my whole life with her. Also just very cold and aloof. Yet arrogant and condescending and negligent. Passive aggressive and once in a while, temper tantrums that were quite abusive.
Spot on. 10 years and the last two years were wrought with confusion and seclusion not knowing what was going on. Whatever the feeling was it just ate me up each day.
Yea probably true. I think I may be Narcissistic in some way sadly, but I'm not obsessed with things or wanting more or trying to take things from people. I know a few who are or covertly are involved in that. I have settled for less to a certain extent so no one can really take much from me. Although they be sued if they tried and I already spoke to my attorney that if I go missing there's someone who will be charged with that cause Im pretty sure he's still after me! I moved but he never gives up, he wants wants wants... I DO NOT!
You describe CN behaviour very well. I've met at least 2 in my life, the last one was a romantic relationship and it was terrible. There was an eerie feeling around him, sometimes my heart would sink in my chest. Always a feeling of confusion and then when he was devaluing and gaslighting me - fear and desperation to please. They torture people emotionally and it's so hard to explain to anyone on the outside. No contact is always the best option - they make you physically ill.
Yes!!! Danish!!! From the day we started like this. I felt something wrong but they said it made by me. I felt I can't understand them. After I know everything about this!!
Agree with the last bit - if they are pointed out about their behaviour they will make it about YOU. They will blame you, and they will play the victim instead . Nothing is ever their fault.
Thanks for putting into words my confusion, abuse and neglect I felt for 7 years in a relationship like this. The hardest part is that if you can't understand it, you can't really describe it to other ppl too, and you are left with doubting yourself and repeating thr same cycle again, until you finally can pinpoint "the gas leak" but they have wasted a lot of your time in the meanwhile.Please don't give these ppl the benefit of the doubt for too long, it's my lesson learned. God bless Danish🧚♂️
My mother is one. I had her diagnosed. She's done a fantastic job of trying to make me look crazy to the entire family. She's soooo amazing it's impossible that she could abuse anyone. She's so perfect, she doesn't need therapy 😂
This is sooo true . There is somtin strange n weird about them. You can feel it wen speaking with them r jus havin them around. You kno somtin is not right buy jus cant figure it out yet.
This is exactly what I experienced with my daughter... just yesterday! I felt sick while with her and for some time afterwards! Her husband actually said "I'm confused" I have been discarded by my wife and am wondering if somehow this is contagious towards my daughter! Both have stolen my life force! Emasculated!
This was Brilliant Thank you so much I guess thats why they call it :"Breadcrumbing" Ive decided i deserve to have the WHOLE LOAF & not let him take it all. Thats treating a person youre neant to love ....like a dog. & occasionally theyll throw you a bone & much love. Its like being the dog thats Promised the Best Walk ever & (future faking) In the meantime they speak of another prize dog; they took out for the Best Walks & adored. In the meantime You stay in the hope of that promised best walk But they keep you on the floor Whilst they sit above you ar the table. You try to jump up & they guilt trip you... & just put down more tiny scraps. That was my childhood too. Id say there is a climate of coldness & superiority. Ive decided since writing this to leave him. I deserve a Place at the Table & An equal share Of the food. I Deserve love As i am Love
My friend heard something about me from someone who doesn't like me. She didn't confront me directly, she just told me they talked about other things, then proceeded to passive aggressively educate/correct me on the things she didn't admit to talking about. When I tried to meet with her to talk about it directly, she at first said yes to meeting, then proceeded to avoid me. She also keeps me distant from her family except for when she wants to talk about them.
You feel your mental health is being threatened like you’re in misery and it’s feels poisonous like he said like I can’t grasp for air because the anguish is soooo unbearable tht u feel u have run outta there to save urself
The sad part of being a child of narc parent is excatly that ,we know something was wrong,but had no idea what it could be,especially if u come from the culture where your parents are your Gods.I never heard that mother or father can be narcissist ,I knew just for a narc partner and knew only for the grandious style...my mum is covert ,like yours and until my 34 I thought she was just immature,emotionally unstable,superficial,the victim of her life ...finding about the truth was so liberating , so divine ,I dont know how to explain it better. And I realise it accidentaly after 10years of self learning and self searching about depression,ocp,toxic families to arrive finaly to my mum...life changing book was Toxic parents from Susan Forward.
Yes!!! I feel both of these all the time, no matter if he says he loves me. I walked away last week. I blocked everything and I am having a hard time but I know this is not healthy love. Thank you so much for your videos.
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Yes. I see many statements on YT that narcissists cry to play victim.and having emotional outbursts but I never saw them cry Always monotone and calm. In my experience they are robots and if you are having a human emotion like joy, grief or feeling hurt, it's weak or instable / not mainstream standard behavior to them. The only emotions that I noticed would be anger and being annoyed.
I tried to be really nice and use “I feel” statements like “I know you don’t mean to hurt me, but when you say that, I feel hurt.” He’s sleeping on the couch now. I am starting to think he may be self-centered.
Yeah, my mother when I went back 2 time, first was Covid and last was recently, I hav strange things happened when I did like oil overfill and also transmission problems, even AC died, within less than a months one after another. But mainly she would feed on my similar issues with my grandmother who did the same and other outside in like manner, making fun of it and demonizing me , when I saw how she encouraged sibling rivalry and I low I sink( I retaliated by spraying water at my sister because of constant aggression towards me and deeply desired worst things, which I suppressed by doing this) she played peacemaker by blaming me for not being friendly label me as antisocial since birth she said. I thought hard for 2 days away from her( for I worship Sabbath and no work) and Sunday I left that evening, last month
I showed him one of the girls he would see behind my back as she went live and he had the most straight face and no reaction! He later named her on his posts, so scary how he he had no emotions
I'm living the first one right now. Don't know if it's just a man without much interest (in which case I simply should make myself more interesting and more attractive) or if it is a covert.
Yes, whenever I mentioned sex, love, communication he would always flip it around onto me and say, we're never in sync and blame me! And give me the bare minimum, breadcrumbs.I was so confused. I did all the therapy, self healing to try and repair the 7 year relationship. Evil they are, just pure evil. 😢
Yes, love the gas analogy. My Narc is covert and I will leave this marriage only understanding 1/3 of who he is. In fact, I saw red flags 4 months into dating, and still married.
I think I had a run in with another true narcissist. They make you so confused and question if you're overthinking everything but it's the gaslighting. I work with mine. And I mixed work and pleasure and I'm regretful. But he doesn't seem like he will bother me it just sucks now I have to deal w working close quarters w someone who I've probably pissed off who seems to be kind of fucking evil fr
I know what is going on now,I slowly started to catch things, now I know whats coming before it comes, I need to move from from where I'm at, but I'm trying to do it so I won't ever have to come back again
This explains my narc x perfectly... but watching these vids i know now what she is an how i meant nothing 2 her... so im getting on with my life now... ✌
Danish, when I started to confront her on certain questions, certain episodes and show my personality which differs, she started to shapegoat me openly and in fact revenge. she came out of shade, bacame more overt (+ loss of dad and her becoming older..) It was not conflicting or hatefull from my side - it would be just normal thought exchange with a healthy person. Even a stranger. But my own mother became an enemy and bully and started to haunt on me. But I am not complaining I am just giving information. I will cope. with help of you and other people who have experienced contacting cov nars mothers.
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Yes thats true victim is always confused from narc nature and victim gut feeling always arise question that something is not right. Its very hard to maintain stability with narc they are passive aggressive and uncertainty in their evey word and manipulation of narc.
It took me four years to learn abt it all. I feared him abandoning me but I finally broke the trauma bond and now I tell him to leave when he likes. I'm a pakistani Muslim which makes it harder because no one is willing to accept that narcissists exist.
I said this! I said, "There's something wrong here, and I can't quite put my finger on it." The psychopath just stared at me.
Oh gosh me too!!!
@@dZeNa. yeas38 years he says exactly what is happening he is fantastic when yoiu arealone yu feel better
You deserve the best Danish, and I hope and pray you have unsurmountable peace for dedicating your life to helping victims of narc abuse. Prayers going up for you 🙏💌
Danish thanks so much from me too. You have a really good way of teaching. I'm not sure if you've mentioned this one that I read the other day: your body will tell you, so listen to your body. This happened when he came over to do some work. I couldn't be around him. I had to go inside. I didn't know what it meant however. Now we've accidentally given him a narcissistic injury and the police have taken over. If I listened to my body and paid attention we wouldn't have been friends with him at all.
Help also the narcs, they also feel down. This way there will be also less people who suffer narc abuse.
yes...how perfect..!! even if they are not doing anything to you, their presence itself is so toxic or intimidating that you don't even want to be in that radius...in their absence life becomes so positive!!
Abuse via passive aggressive means. Manipulation, Withholding, gaslighting, mind games, disrespect, inconsideration, apathetic affection, coldness. When you confront them they deny it all
I see you've met my ex... the denial is the worst gaslighting of all.
Oh yup my ex was the king of passive aggression. Just would throw out 🙂 whenever he was really upset about anything.
For me- it's made even more tricky as he can "hide" because I "met" him online dating.
I'm sorry this may be rather long but I'm trying to work out exactly why I'm so unhappy.
1) it feels Spiritual. He's a professed Atheist & I'm a Christian
2) breadcrumbs - just my narc mother-
NOW
3)...Like done "something wrong" to displease him
4) started off lovebombing me
With xx & voicemail saying such lovely things
5) inability to be accountantable EVER ever to his part & to say a real Sorry
6) future faking by a previous wish to come see me & then making his non-visit ALL MY FAULT ....
Ie - It's an implication I've been bad & upset him...
Any issue is super-amplified & ramped up to being ridiculous.
7) talking about his last distant relationship with an American (we are both UK). I say I'm unhappy about hearing about her.
The UPSET thus has caused me
Stories aboit spending 11 grand on her (£11,000 UK sterling)
Plans to live with her.
My deep hurt is That too....
Like a TRIANGULATION of how much he did for her
When he has made x2 plans to come to see me but never has been
So it's a highly
Skilled
8) covert gaslighting
Devalue & Discard
9) exactly:-
Passive aggressive in feeling I Cannot bring up anything.
10) most warmth shown EVER was around wanting sex online & last a Web cam (I declined)
11) sexual manipulation....but Very covert
12) feels like I've been "bad" when he goes cold & distant.
13) any issue is super rampted up as being Enormous. I bring up my issue trying to stop binge drinking evenings. Again he brings in his ex & her drinking Vodka out a brown bag!! Hardly the same
= again blame & guilt for having a life struggle.
WITHHOLDING affection having once given it.
It's just such a fog they create.
It steals ur peace.
Apathetic affection is so accurate
Exactly! And it’s very difficult to explain even to friends. Pure torture
Gosh Danish, your descriptions of what narcissist abuse looks like. You literally took my breath away when you said that the room feels like its filled with poisonous gas, but you can’t find the source!! Wow! That hit in a real way.
You are so unbelievably clear about your Narc knowledge, ALWAYS 1000% on target with how covert abuse is so crippling to those who can’t make sense of what’s happening to their mind. Thank you 🙏
It is so key that people to educate themselves as to the truth a
OMG! This is on point!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so very much! I wish that i had known this 30 years ago 😭
Yes, right on.
Me too. Wish I had known 25 years ago…
In 1966 until 1982.....ended it, but not until 2021, 100%.....2021 ended it entirely. Then I went no contact forever. Happy now and healed because of you tube internet and victims and clinical psychologists with phds and you Danish. I feel complete now. I completed my search. Thanks. You closed my search for my answers now.
So very true, they know exactly what their doing, they enjoy putting you into that confused state, it’s power to them, they thrive on it until we wake up. Then it’s up to us to move on, and get the hell out of there.
This is so true 10 yrs and 5 years married still no emotional connection or availablity from him
@MM I feel your pain. 20 years here. It’s horrible.
@@michelleheald9108 take care of yourself sis may we find a way 🙏
Did u ever cheated him in any way or thought of with your wish
You gotta divorce them. Stop tolerating abuse
I was always sad or felt uncomfortable and when I brought up issues or concerns they would make me feel like I was making them out to be the bad guy or the issue is because of them. I would just ask. I could never figure out what it was but there was always something off even when things seemed really really good, like I was constantly "watching my back" but didn't understand why I felt the need to.
🎯🎯🎯
“Even when things seemed really really good, I was watching my back and didn’t understand why I felt the need to” I completely felt this
Can’t ever tell him how I feel. I wanted to send my other son who lives w his father, a video of a movie because he’s obsessed with Super Mario. And he starts up with “I’m sure they know about it and seen it. You and your ex are nerds so I’m sure he knows, you wanna bet? Whatever just text your love about the movie” I asked nicely and calmly “there was no need for that and since my son is only 5 he doesn’t have his own cell so of course I have to go through his dad” he “playfully “ then closed fisted tapped my solders son on the side of his cheek. I’m glad I turned around just in time to see it. I can never even ask nicely for him to respect me and he blows up w insults to me as well as my son Carter. I’m tired I’m tired. Of being controlled. I’m tired of not having money and being stopped from making money to help us and get my car fixed. I am tired
I am stresssd and depressed. I’m going out of my mind.
@@solmck737oh wow I'm so sorry you have to go through that with him it really sucks, I hope over time you are able to get better with handling it and finding peace in the chaos ❤️ you're not alone.
It's all in their energy.
This channel honestly is the first channel describing all of the pains I have felt with more than one narcissist.
Feeling disrespect, emotional torture and trying to ignore my pain but.eventually I would express my thought or opinion bc ai felt ignored, mistreated etc.
Then they would be demeaning or making me feel demanding and they would be the one 'baring with me' despite my expression...they didn't literally say that but I felt this connection was not equal...
I get you! My sister demeans me with sly comments. One example. She knows I'm good at art my mum and dad put 2 if my artworks on their wall. My dad's got a progressive illness. I got him painting by numbers which he struggled to do & it was a bit messy but hey he did it in his own way & he achieved painting something. My wonderful sister comes over & I say look what dad did all excited. Her reply: oh I thought you had done that !
That is the stings I receive from her so I no longer try to engage with her not because it's a critical thing about my art. It was the way she ignored what dad had achieved & was trying to hit me where it hurts.
You're fantastic at this, thank you. This abuse can be so hard to recognize and even harder to try and explain any of it.
😢yes I can resonate by always took the blame to keep the peace that is until he rejected giving affection, some thing clicked & as hard as it was to leave, I got the courage and made my decision
Ye I resonate with this💯💯💯...
It feels like the room is filling with poisonous gas that is killing you but you can't find the source🔥🔥🔥
That's amazing. You just described my situation exactly down to the very last detail. wowza!
Nailed it.
First of all Sir THANK YOU, GOD BLESS YOU for ALLL THE AMAZING FACTUAL VIDEOS ON THESE MONSTERS IF SOCIETY. You have saved my life LITERALLY. My narc had me contemplating "The End" of me. Your videos have given me hope and that IT WASN'T ME WHO WAS THE PROBLEM. THANK YOU AGAIN. I work with my ex Narc and a female narc who works close to me daily. I HAVE CUT THEM BOTH OUT OF MY LIFE AS MUCH AS I CAN. THEY ARE MONSTERS WALKING AMONG US.
Absolutely yes!!!! The poisonous gas that fills the room really resonated with me!!
Not overtly abusive, but quietly, behind the scenes, controlling the narrative with those you love, resulting in the worst abuse ever! Harming you through the people you love. Using and manipulating them, with no regard as to how it is hurting them as well. They simply don’t care. As long as they can somehow come out of it all smelling like a rose, they don’t care who gets hurt.
This is the truest statement that I have ever felt! You are on point with every single one of your videos. Happy healing to everyone who are in the comments. We are here because we have all felt this pain! Life is better on the other side.
Thank you ❤
They are also good at putting on a great show for others.
Thank you for this. This is my sister!! I have been waiting for my sister to be my sister & act like a sister all my life. She left home at 15 with a 23 year old man She got married to him & pregnant by him. He smacked my dad in the face years ago & damaged his left eyelid. I can't forgive him for hitting my dad. The Reason why? Because my sister wasn't talking to my mum & dad they sent her a birthday cake & cards on her 21st to build bridges. The cards were found ripped up in the garden. My dad went round to ask why he ripped them up. Her husband had keys in his hand & his brothers watching. Since then she has been distant & defends her husband saying it was my dad's fault. It hurts she does these 2 signs. To this day she has been horrible to me since our mum went into a home. Instead of being closer she backs off. So ive had to go to counselling & no matter how much they tell me to keep away & she won't change I expect her to change but she doesn't. I realise she doesn't want me it hurts. She's 60 & I'm 53. I'm looking after dad mainly on my own because she avoids everything. I am having to retrain my brain to accept she will never be the sister i thought she would be.
This sounds like something wasnt quite right between ur sister and your parents. People dont usually leave at 15 without something missing somewhere.
I wish I could come across your channel atleast a year back. Otherwise wouldn't have given him the second chance to destroy me to the core emotionally.
My goodness yes yes yessss!!! The uncomfortable silence feel so abusive! It’s creep
You absolutely answered my questions with this one 100 %. Thankyou. I love you Danish because you understand it so well.
I got blamed for everything that went wrong and I mean, everything. My narc would never take any accountability for anything.
I think their nature shifting can fall under being confused about their nature, but there's always an undercurrent of selfishness.
100% yes! It's their dark energy that's draining, but this could even be happening while they're laughing or smiling. #evil
Omg yes ! But it must be true I don't feel that way with anyone else!
Been there done that... Finally learned to give up and let go after learning about NPD and draining my bank account... Sometimes we must learn the hard way especially when we love or trauma bonded because of the push-pull, gas lighting, and confusion. When we finally understand it makes a difference because our eyes are open to the people we have known for years and much quickly can reject other people that are only users.
On point as usual! I felt ALL of this! Now that I am away, seeing clearly seems like the understatement of the year. He beat me down and made me meek, mild and mannerly. Now, after 2 years, I have found my fighter again. She’s not perfect, but she’s coming ‘round. Thank you Danish, education is the key to these ticking time bombs and staying clear of them.
Hello 👇👇
Are you suspicious of your partner is he/she is cheating on you? but have no solid evidences to prove it?
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That is EXACTLY RIGHT. 💯 percent reality. A relative of mine is a Vulnerable Narcissist and that's how it was my whole life with her. Also just very cold and aloof. Yet arrogant and condescending and negligent. Passive aggressive and once in a while, temper tantrums that were quite abusive.
Definitely emotionally starved, soon i pray i will change my life
Yes ,the narcissts usually abandon I have suffered a narcissist torcher
Sorry, torture plz
Yes.. YES… Y E S…. Passive aggressive abuse is insidious, and so deceitful… the Nar always denial mal intent… it is ALWAYS YOUR Fault😢😢
Spot on. 10 years and the last two years were wrought with confusion and seclusion not knowing what was going on. Whatever the feeling was it just ate me up each day.
Spot on!!!! Omg thank you. You just validated my trauma from coming out of a marriage with a covert narc
I've heard there is an angel on each of our shoulders, one bad, one good. Both of mine are talking at once, talking at once, talking at once.
Yea probably true. I think I may be Narcissistic in some way sadly, but I'm not obsessed with things or wanting more or trying to take things from people. I know a few who are or covertly are involved in that. I have settled for less to a certain extent so no one can really take much from me. Although they be sued if they tried and I already spoke to my attorney that if I go missing there's someone who will be charged with that cause Im pretty sure he's still after me! I moved but he never gives up, he wants wants wants... I DO NOT!
You describe CN behaviour very well. I've met at least 2 in my life, the last one was a romantic relationship and it was terrible. There was an eerie feeling around him, sometimes my heart would sink in my chest. Always a feeling of confusion and then when he was devaluing and gaslighting me - fear and desperation to please. They torture people emotionally and it's so hard to explain to anyone on the outside. No contact is always the best option - they make you physically ill.
Yes. The screaming anger came later
Yes!!! Danish!!! From the day we started like this. I felt something wrong but they said it made by me. I felt I can't understand them. After I know everything about this!!
Agree with the last bit - if they are pointed out about their behaviour they will make it about YOU. They will blame you, and they will play the victim instead . Nothing is ever their fault.
Yes just yes . She destroyed my thought process
Thanks for putting into words my confusion, abuse and neglect I felt for 7 years in a relationship like this. The hardest part is that if you can't understand it, you can't really describe it to other ppl too, and you are left with doubting yourself and repeating thr same cycle again, until you finally can pinpoint "the gas leak" but they have wasted a lot of your time in the meanwhile.Please don't give these ppl the benefit of the doubt for too long, it's my lesson learned. God bless Danish🧚♂️
28 1/2 years of marriage, and your description is spot on. I’m no longer married to him and the stress level in my home has greatly decreased.
Yes I have always gotten a headache when my covert narcissist “mom” is in my presence.
Yes my mom too 🙃
My mother is one. I had her diagnosed. She's done a fantastic job of trying to make me look crazy to the entire family. She's soooo amazing it's impossible that she could abuse anyone.
She's so perfect, she doesn't need therapy 😂
This is sooo true
. There is somtin strange n weird about them. You can feel it wen speaking with them r jus havin them around. You kno somtin is not right buy jus cant figure it out yet.
New friend alert. I feel this alot. I am carefully going to disentangle myself carefully.
Best explanation for my marriage! I've been confused for years.
💯 facts! This is too real. I finally have answers. Thank you so much!!!
This is exactly what I experienced with my daughter... just yesterday! I felt sick while with her and for some time afterwards! Her husband actually said "I'm confused" I have been discarded by my wife and am wondering if somehow this is contagious towards my daughter! Both have stolen my life force! Emasculated!
Efeminated!
This was Brilliant
Thank you so much
I guess thats why they call it :"Breadcrumbing"
Ive decided i deserve to have the
WHOLE LOAF & not let him take it all.
Thats treating a person youre neant to love ....like a dog.
& occasionally theyll throw you a bone & much love.
Its like being the dog thats Promised the Best Walk ever & (future faking)
In the meantime they speak of another prize dog; they took out for the Best Walks & adored. In the meantime
You stay in the hope of that promised best walk
But they keep you on the floor
Whilst they sit above you ar the table.
You try to jump up & they guilt trip you...
& just put down more tiny scraps.
That was my childhood too.
Id say there is a climate of coldness & superiority.
Ive decided since writing this to leave him. I deserve a
Place at the Table &
An equal share
Of the food.
I Deserve love
As i am Love
I put my finger on it and walk away quietly and never look back.
My friend heard something about me from someone who doesn't like me. She didn't confront me directly, she just told me they talked about other things, then proceeded to passive aggressively educate/correct me on the things she didn't admit to talking about. When I tried to meet with her to talk about it directly, she at first said yes to meeting, then proceeded to avoid me.
She also keeps me distant from her family except for when she wants to talk about them.
You feel your mental health is being threatened like you’re in misery and it’s feels poisonous like he said like I can’t grasp for air because the anguish is soooo unbearable tht u feel u have run outta there to save urself
Withholding and blame shifting- elevated to an art form!
The sad part of being a child of narc parent is excatly that ,we know something was wrong,but had no idea what it could be,especially if u come from the culture where your parents are your Gods.I never heard that mother or father can be narcissist ,I knew just for a narc partner and knew only for the grandious style...my mum is covert ,like yours and until my 34 I thought she was just immature,emotionally unstable,superficial,the victim of her life ...finding about the truth was so liberating , so divine ,I dont know how to explain it better. And I realise it accidentaly after 10years of self learning and self searching about depression,ocp,toxic families to arrive finaly to my mum...life changing book was Toxic parents from Susan Forward.
Yes!!! I feel both of these all the time, no matter if he says he loves me. I walked away last week. I blocked everything and I am having a hard time but I know this is not healthy love. Thank you so much for your videos.
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Sighhhhh damn I hate when your right! BUT knowledge is the key to change…. And changing I am!
Yes resonate...very unemotional n cold
Yes. I see many statements on YT that narcissists cry to play victim.and having emotional outbursts but I never saw them cry
Always monotone and calm. In my experience they are robots and if you are having a human emotion like joy, grief or feeling hurt, it's weak or instable / not mainstream standard behavior to them.
The only emotions that I noticed would be anger and being annoyed.
Thank you so much for your content. God gave you a mission, and purpose, and you're fulfilling it well, Sir. God Bless you and yours!
Danish you nailed it as usual man... finally someone is there who knows my condition 😭😭
I tried to be really nice and use “I feel” statements like “I know you don’t mean to hurt me, but when you say that, I feel hurt.” He’s sleeping on the couch now. I am starting to think he may be self-centered.
Yes! You are spot on, Danish. You have helped me so much!
Ohmygod. This seems like my bestfriend :( I was thinking she just has this dominant and confident attitude but now that I'm thinking about it....
8.5yrs with her covert narky self and i felt exactly that way. She did me a favor and discarded me 5mos ago for a new supply. No hoover yet
THANK GOD I KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS THATS WHY ACCESS DENIED
Yeah, my mother when I went back 2 time, first was Covid and last was recently, I hav strange things happened when I did like oil overfill and also transmission problems, even AC died, within less than a months one after another. But mainly she would feed on my similar issues with my grandmother who did the same and other outside in like manner, making fun of it and demonizing me , when I saw how she encouraged sibling rivalry and I low I sink( I retaliated by spraying water at my sister because of constant aggression towards me and deeply desired worst things, which I suppressed by doing this) she played peacemaker by blaming me for not being friendly label me as antisocial since birth she said. I thought hard for 2 days away from her( for I worship Sabbath and no work) and Sunday I left that evening, last month
Oof your are bringing blessings, Danish!
God blease you!
Oh god ! Yessss .. that fits perfectly.. it can’t just be a coincidence right ?
Yeah my ex, I dropped her like a bad habit, best decision ever!
I showed him one of the girls he would see behind my back as she went live and he had the most straight face and no reaction! He later named her on his posts, so scary how he he had no emotions
Yep… you got it. Nailed it with #2!
I'm living the first one right now. Don't know if it's just a man without much interest (in which case I simply should make myself more interesting and more attractive) or if it is a covert.
Yes I suffered this for four years and three out the four I was in physical pain that the doctor couldn't find a reason for the pain
Exactly. I could put a finger on it but chose not to. Both was destructive. Dealing with a narc is always draining
Yes, whenever I mentioned sex, love, communication he would always flip it around onto me and say, we're never in sync and blame me! And give me the bare minimum, breadcrumbs.I was so confused. I did all the therapy, self healing to try and repair the 7 year relationship. Evil they are, just pure evil. 😢
Yes, love the gas analogy. My Narc is covert and I will leave this marriage only understanding 1/3 of who he is. In fact, I saw red flags 4 months into dating, and still married.
ikr... but I'm free now!!! 🙏🏽4✌🏾
How long have you known my Dearly Evil Nother?
I think I had a run in with another true narcissist. They make you so confused and question if you're overthinking everything but it's the gaslighting. I work with mine. And I mixed work and pleasure and I'm regretful. But he doesn't seem like he will bother me it just sucks now I have to deal w working close quarters w someone who I've probably pissed off who seems to be kind of fucking evil fr
This is so true most painful thing ever been thru
You hit the nail on the head
Danish you are an angel 😇😇 you showed me the source of my pain finally.
I know what is going on now,I slowly started to catch things, now I know whats coming before it comes, I need to move from from where I'm at, but I'm trying to do it so I won't ever have to come back again
This explains my narc x perfectly... but watching these vids i know now what she is an how i meant nothing 2 her... so im getting on with my life now... ✌
Wow SOOOOO ACCURATE!!
This is greatly explained!
Danish, when I started to confront her on certain questions, certain episodes and show my personality which differs, she started to shapegoat me openly and in fact revenge. she came out of shade, bacame more overt (+ loss of dad and her becoming older..)
It was not conflicting or hatefull from my side - it would be just normal thought exchange with a healthy person. Even a stranger. But my own mother became an enemy and bully and started to haunt on me. But I am not complaining I am just giving information. I will cope. with help of you and other people who have experienced contacting cov nars mothers.
It didn't sound like you are complaining to me! This should be a safe place for you to share ❤
Right on the dot!...Exactly my experience.
Wow, this hit me smack in the face...
Again, you described my Ex husband who 3.5 years later he’s impoverished me in divorce court. Omg Still the crying victim.
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Trust your intuition.you may not see it,but you will surely feel they are hiding something..
The “…you feel like the room is filled with poisonous gas …” made me laugh! ☠️ they are stinkers that’s for sure. Who wants a nose full of s**t!?!
Yes and yes! You are the best narc ytber i've seen!
Yes thats true victim is always confused from narc nature and victim gut feeling always arise question that something is not right. Its very hard to maintain stability with narc they are passive aggressive and uncertainty in their evey word and manipulation of narc.
2 nails on the head. Couldn't put my finger on it for 23 years until I found the label of narcissist. That explained everything.
This is All above TRUE!!!
That passive aggressive is dangerous too
💯💯💯but don’t let them get away with anything
It took me four years to learn abt it all. I feared him abandoning me but I finally broke the trauma bond and now I tell him to leave when he likes. I'm a pakistani Muslim which makes it harder because no one is willing to accept that narcissists exist.