Summary of 13 things successful people are NOT doing. @7:46: 1. Stop feeling the world owes them anything 2. Stop feeling sorry for themselves 3. Stop resenting other people's success 4. Stop wasting energy they can't control 5. Stop dwelling in the past 6. Stop letting other people's opinion dictates their life 7. Stop worrying about and pleasing everyone 8. Stop making the same mistakes over and over 9. Stop shying away from changes 10. Stop fearing about taking calculated risks 11. Stop expecting immediate results 12. Stop giving up after a first failure 13. Stop fearing about spending time alone
I checked 11out of 13. I'm always told that I'm very mentally strong. I always watched situation that happened to my family and friends and learned from their mistakes.
“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness." -DALE CARNEGIE
“If you want to avoid repeating a mistake, spend some time studying it. Set any negative feelings you might have aside, acknowledge the factors that led up to your misstep, and learn from it.” ― Amy Morin, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do.
This is what I am doing after I mistreated my friend due to a reason I thought was genuine, I have asked for forgiveness and been forgiven but am in the road to forgive myself which is awfully painful.
Summary for myself: 1) Mentally strong people don't feel the world owes them anything: Just because you are a 'good' person, does not mean you deserve something more than another. Something bad happened in your life? Think about others who have it worse and what you have in your life to still be grateful. 2) Mentally strong people don't focus on things they can't control: This is similar to the 'circle of influence' concept. Focus on the things you CAN control and how you react to situations. 3) Mentally strong people don't make the same mistake over and over again: They ask 'why' the mistake happened in the first place and then determine ways to prevent it happening again.
Lost my young wife, son, brother, some close friends in disease and accidents and moved on without regreting my life choices who ended up like that. And that paper burning thing wont work att all. Its in your mind if you stay in the land of sorrow or move on. Not in smashed or burning things. When you look back. Look at the happy moments and not the bad and give full throttle to the next thing in life. Its all to short already to dwell in the past. But i agree in, learn by your mistakes and treat those moments like an experience of things who didnt work out that good for you or maybe was just great. And dont forget, listen to friendly advices but in the end make your own. And last, smile sometimes. One day its over no matter what. Take care. ♥️👍
@@williamrichards3707 56 and not feeling that old yet 😊. Life isnt all about age when most are about experience. Some gets old but have never lived and some say goodbye rather young but have seen much. I was born in the sixties and see a many times doubtful world today with sometimes young people running around and acting violent in a strange upset way to trying to find the truth behind it all. They wont find it in that violent way. But maybe if they listen from time to time over the past and think for their own a minute. Some do when others dont. You have a nice day on the other side of this Internet. 👍
@@fonziebulldog5786 with age comes experience. I'm 66 years old with six children first one at age 31 last one in 53. 16 and a half years in the combat arms. Raise the first three of my six children by myself. They were seven and a half, 5 + 1/2, and 6 months old. I went from GI Joe to mr. mom in 2 weeks. In the 31 Nations in every state in this country. The advice that young man was giving was as I said a bunch of tripe.
I needed this video now more than ever ! Thank you youtube recommendation. Amongst everything happening in this world due to COVID 19, I am about to loose everything I worked for in the past 3 years. My life has come to a stop. And I can't find a way out. I have been angry and frustrated. With no one to talk to. This gave me some comfort.
I grew up in foster care. When I was 19 I was doing volunteer work for a shelter while trying to get out from under homelessness. At the time I met many homeless who were in despair as they lost their factory jobs. Many had cabins and boats and took annual vacations. They had it all and lost it all. Many wouldn't volunteer, they just stood in line for soup and bread and waited for cots to sleep on in the gymnasium. They old and probably in pain and tired and really had no future to look forward to . I had come out of foster care and homelessness but i was young and had nothing anyway so I lost nothing. Now I'm as old as they were and things are same for me. I have my own business. Just something I do alone , no employees. I have a house and live with my wife and dog. She has no income. I'm desperate for work and I'm afraid of ending up homeless again. And I have physical pain I didn't have before. But I know that if the worse happens I have to volunteer again so I don't sink into the despair I witnessed in others in the past. I know it will be 10 times harder though for my wife. But some how we're going to have to pick up the pieces and move on and stay as positive as we can under the circumstances. Meanwhile think think think what can I do to reinvent myself, continue being self employed etc. I can't just quit. I've already put the whole suicide question behind me a long time ago. I've filled those synapses over with commitment to myself and my wife that I'm in till my last breath and that includes fighting for my right to pursue success. Never give up but always keep an open mind and always seek out the good and the positive no matter what the circumstance.
archii bags so many people have faced such difficulties due to this horrendous pandemic......I’ve missed cancer scans, I had an asthma attack and had to be treated on a stairwell rather than go into hospital today.....I was supposed to be moving to my new home in April.....Look at the loved ones lost too....We are all in this together my friend, look around you, go on social networking sites it’s everywhere....Let’s all pray and comfort each other....Sending you love and peace....💕✌🏻🙏🏼🇬🇧
Instead of saying, "no more", say, " I want to know more." The power of knowledge is a most remarkable thing. Also, a mistake is not a mistake if it is corrected.
it serves you when creating new ways to cope that can be successful - stay curious to what I could have said would be the best solution that changes life as we know it for the better ...
The part Amy missed is, it's not just mentally strong but emotionally strong as well- this is where people excel the most. I love the saying "protect your heart, your mind and your wallet".
One of the most helpful things I have found to avoid getting pulled down into the muck of someone's words or actions is I have learned to minimize (I won't say "not care") the importance of what other people think of me. If I know I am doing the best I can in any circumstances, that is all I can do. If my best isn't good enough for them, then it is out of my control. Trying to please people who disagree with us is the wrong path. When you keep high standards of behavior and thought, you don't need to make someone else your master.
Oh oh oh... I read this book 2 months back, and LOVED it ! After watching your video, I realized that this would be the PERFECT time to re-read this book, during these difficult days. Let me get my kindle! Thank for a great video, and a beautiful choice of book at this time! We need all the mental strength we can muster at this point of time!
All of these insights were great and very helpful. As a psychologist and counsellor I found this very nicely summarised and succinctly put. My only criticism is of the title of the book and this subsequent video, namely because using the title mentally 'strong' by it's very nature suggests that people who do not do these things, are in the opposite 'camp' and are therefore mentally 'weak'. Weak being opposite to strong, this is not a good starting point for people to begin from, to be told that by not thinking a certain way, that they are 'mentally WEAK'. Apart from this shortfall, this is an excellent article.
I don't agree with comparing on thinking of the people who are less fortunate just to feel good about yourselves. For sure even the person in a dire situation has also something to be grateful.
It's not meant for you to "just feel better about yourself" but to see things from a different perspective and realize things are not as negative as they seemed.
I kinda prefer the grass is always greener. It goes in both directions and helps one see that even those that seem more fortunate are just as likely to engage in distorted thinking or suffer from actual crisis.
@@juanpennisi1202 , I agree. It's a tool that we have to show our depressive brain that there are things we can be grateful for when we just can't find any otherwise. I'm pissed about this lock-down, but when I see that in third-wold countries many are hungry, search for essentials while dodging brutal police officers, and are otherwise struggling to survive, I realize that I have MUCH to be grateful for.
I agree. Thinking of others' misfortunes certainly doesn't make me feel better! And that dismisses the REAL issues people are having and suffering with - you don't have to justify your pain, it is relative and it is real, even if you're from a more advanced nation! Focusing on Gratitude for what you do have is what helps.
I LOVED this video and was going to share it with my clients who struggle with co-occurring addiction and mental health issues. The ONE part where you say that you're not like the alcoholic that keeps going back to drinking, over and over.... doesn't fit. Addiction, being a chemical dependency on an external substance, is not just a "mistake" they can just quit. Love the video, but I won't be sharing with them sadly. Aside from this one thing, it's well done and will work for the right population.
@@Melinda8162 you should visit the comment section at the PBS news hour. I would not waist much time watching the show. The truth always pertains...i find it most often from a jag off comedian and his guest at the Jimmy Dore show.
At this point I would like to make a distinction. You have one metaphor for experienced equestrians, and another for novices and those who have never ridden. The "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on again." saying, applies to experienced equestrians because they know why they hit the dirt every single time and unless you are trying to be an experienced equestrian it fits poorly. If you are a novice, then it fits but only occasionally. If you are a nonequestrian who is trying it out, it is inadvisable unless you are being coached by someone who has the fruit on the tree. If you are in any stage of becoming a Rodeo Cowboy or Cowgirl, then you damned well better do it. As a metaphor for life it works because laying down, becoming depressed and giving up all come from the same source, inactivity and not understanding. A senseless feeling of pain that robs you of the will to do. Amy Morin may be a trained psychotherapist but she is mixing her metaphors and I do not trust her ability with good reason. I don't need to list my setbacks, losses, tragedies and the times I was betrayed by someone I trusted and loved, to know that ""Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on again." works and you have plenty of time to think about why you bucked off in between the time you hit the dirt and when you get back in the saddle. I won't say it doesn't hurt, when someone you love dies or your business partner embezzles the money from your company, or you get a divorce, because it does. What I will say is pain and tragedy is no excuse for not moving forward. If all you can do is crawl, then crawl forward. If all you can do are baby steps, then baby step your way forward. Eventually, you will run if you just don't quit. 9 times out of 10 people quit when they could have won; could have pushed through the pain. The 10th time they were in a no win situation through no fault of their own, and most of the time, if we are honest, we get into no win situations because we made hasty, ill advised or just plain bad decisions. Like this one it screams bad decision making paradigm, "I am waiting for my ship to come in." If you want to know why, just say this, "That's great. When did you send your ship out?" Then watch as they give you a blank stare. Amy Morin in saying "they don't make the same mistake over and over." is oversimplifying the problem, then she make that stupid statement about a saying. Also women can't always control their thoughts and emotions, but men can. It has to do with the number of neural pathways that connect the halves of the brain, and it is biology. I can just shut my mind off and think about nothing. All men can do that, but with time and practice I learned how to turn off my emotions and my thoughts. It is like how you cannot be afraid and angry at the same time. And all the women reading this will disagree, but it is true for men. But you cannot control the consequences of a decision, another person's reaction to what you do or say, no matter how you phrase it, or what is done to you by another person. And since I am commenting as a mentally strong person I will say the following. No they do not make the same mistake over and over, they try different things and make all new mistakes. There is a simple reason for it. We learn by either being instructed by someone who has already made their mistakes and learned from them, or by making mistakes ourselves. IF you are very smart, then you can watch someone who is pretty smart themselves make a mistake and learn that way. But almost 100% of people over estimate their abilities and their intelligence, until after they have made a few mistakes and paid the price for them. (I got that from a clinical psychologist who is very good at his job.) So something is really messed up here, the book or your treatment of it, I can't say for sure which. So Cowboy up, and fix it!
This is an excellent video, which should be taught to schoolchildren whilst young. It basically summarises everything I learned whilst in the Military some forty years ago.
Unfortunately teaching this would go against the primary reason why we have government run schools, to keep these healthy paradigms. The complete opposite values are at the "core" of their agenda..
I was troubled by this video because I reckon that taking on these mental rules will block people from feeling their emotions... and I believe that feeling is the way we heal after a troubling situation.
@@Wonderfeel__ You don't 'heal' from a few insults, you only need to heal from physical injury. I've been terribly insulted over the years, particularly whilst serving in 1970s Belfast, and the words are basically 'water off a ducks back'. It was the petrol bombs, bullets and explosive devices that so many of my comrades were forced to 'heal' from as best they could.
@@cedricworthingtonbroadaxe2287 It's good to have tough skin, but don't you think there's also emotional healing that's needed sometimes, if something does get right through. If something in life (or in combat) is really disturbing. That's when I feel healing is helpful.
@@Wonderfeel__ This is another sensible/intelligent reply, but it also illustrates perfectly the differences between the way men and women think. In order to (I hope) clarify my point; I'm going to use a couple of personal experiences I had earlier in life. 1. As part of the British Military deployed to Belfast to 'maintain order' during the 1970's, I was ordered to 'escort' to hospital a lad who'd been knee-capped in both knees by the IRA. I've never forgotten the obvious anguish/misery of that lad's sobs/screams, words during that helicopter flight; but would it have done anyone/anything any good dwelling on the experience over the next ten/twenty years ? Obviously not, although I do occasionally wonder if he did ever walk/play football again ? 2. Having left the Military, I spent several years in the Devon Fire Brigade, during which time I was fortunate to be deployed to the Chase-Webb Printers fire; at that time the biggest fire Plymouth had suffered since the Blitz. Having brought the actual blaze under control, I was one among'st perhaps 30 lads ordered to search for the bodies of people 'presumed dead' within the building. I actually found what I thought was one of the bodies and was then ordered to "Grab a shovel and bag up the remains for Forensics." I did so, but reading the story in the local papers later, was amazed to realize that I'd actually been shoveling up the remains of two people: Angelo Crakadopolis and Angela Barker as a result of a truly heroic action which ended badly for them both. Having initially escaped from the burning factory, Ms Barker decided to re-enter the cloak-room to retrieve her coat/handbag which contained three weeks holiday pay. When she failed to exit again, Angelo went in to rescue her. He apparently picking her up and carried her to within ten yards of the exit door before being overcome by carbon monoxide fumes and dying alongside her; an obvious hero who deserved a better fate than Life dealt him. Was I 'traumatized' by these and/or several other such incidents ? I don't think so, BUT .... ? That said; I've never permitted my wife to work, because I believed her to be far safer staying home looking after me and our ten children; which I specifically wanted to bestow the Gift of Life to, because I'd seen with my own eyes just how frail/vulnerable human beings really are when exposed to the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune'. With all that said, the final summary is this:- When my four sons came of age, all volunteered for the British Army, and all were turned down. One of my daughters (who'd also attended University and got a Medical Degree) was accepted as a Combat Medic however; and ultimately served three tours in Afghanistan where she was so traumatized at the sight of the injuries suffered by several of the young hero's her team were sent in to extricate/treat, that she's still being treated/medicated herself for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder some eight/ten years later. So what conclusion can be drawn from these events ? Perhaps that, despite what Politically Correct/Feminist propaganda may say, men and women look at the world from very different perspectives; and rather that insisting 'all are equal', our Society would be far better advised to recognize these differences rather than determinedly ignore them ?
Mentally strong people still will dwell on losing their job but they won't freak and try to learn from it. Some very mentally strong people will dwell on the past but the difference is they will use the negative and turn into a positive force, perfect example Michael Jordan.He also obsessed of what others thought of him to fuel his fire.
also can we take a moment and acknowledge sometimes the world does owe you something? Maybe if you employer is treating you unfairly, you should join a union and fight for the rights that are owed to you. Maybe if you are being discriminated against due to you identity, you should stand up for the rights you are owed. Maybe if there's a system that will always put you down due to your gender, you should feel you are owed something more. Or taking the example of losing people you love, I'd like to think we live in a society were it is morally acknowledged that when people lose their loved ones we owe it to them to just give them time to get back on their feet.
We are broken people in a broken world This world will never be fair and perhaps you should thank your lucky stars that you haven't always gotten what you deserved Just walk away Its up to YOU to find your place in the world. If your job isn't fair, walk away, find another one. If someone legitimately wrongs you, bring suit and hope for the best, otherwise walk away We ALL have 24/7/365 until our time comes to move on Don't waste it on petty fights with petty people over petty things
Thank you so much for this. I was sent this video by a friend weeks ago but was putting it off out of fear. I’m ready to take the necessary steps to start living my life
Non-stop tragedies are usually precipitated by generational curses,of persons who are unfortunate enough to be born into secret societies/cults. I circumvented my troubles by prayer and unabashed activism in the U.N. etc. In addition,I cut ties with family who are still cult involved.Things have improved by 75%. Blessings🌈
Nathan I personally want to thank you for deciding to make the world a better place.thankd you for creating productivity game and for all the effort you put into doing one page summaries of wisdom hidden books. Thank you for making the knowledge more accessible for those of us who don't like reading or don't have the patience to sit through a whole book. Thank you for joining the force of individuals out there who let trith be their purpose. God bless you Nathan 💕✨
What a perfect book to review in our current pandemic crisis. Thank you for doing this for us. It was only a month ago that I used to run along the beach and listen to your book reviews. I can't wait to do that again. I've learned so much from your channel. Be safe and keep going!!!
Very good video. To make it though my 8+ year divorce (and the numerous attempts by my ex trying to get me fired from my Departement), many of my friends asked me how I survived the ordeal. My answer, in short, was: one day at time and emotional discipline. I also recognized that there are other people in the world who have/had it worse than I did. In the end, I am back to the person I was before (with a strengthened character) and she is a bitter old woman (because of her entitlement attitude).
Being alone is being FREE ! Stay away from those who want to take up / waste your time, with their problems/ & stuff. Time wasted is time you will never get back ! I am a senior now ... for younger people, my recommendation is ... learn how to say 'NO' and get comfortable using this word. It will change your life ! ... you will be in more control of your life !
thank you 1. The world doesn't own you anything You must be able to build yourself with what you have and be able to strive for success despite the setbacks. 2. They won’t focus on something that they can’t control There are things that we can control and there are things that we can’t control, we should focus on something that we can control since things that we can’t control aren’t worth the time to spend time on. 3. Don’t make the same mistake. Strong-minded people learn from their past and improve on their future, since they don’t make the same mistake.
Its a hard thing to swallow that evil is pervasive every where through the world. I have been having a rough time lately graping the fact people are not who i thought they were and not trying to control a situation. But i guess all i can do is keep trying to brutally force forward progress. Been super negative feeling lately letting the world and people get too me and my life. Tomorrow is a new day and just remember when i open my eyes tomorrow just keep at it, not let the world or people win. Hope everyone has a good day self reflection is super important can be very scary to do tho.
John Mora mate I feel you there. I’ve spent a lot of time being passive however and I can’t say it’s been effective or helped my mental health. At a certain point you have to deal with people in your life.....
THIS message is my lesson of the 2021 for me. I want you to know (Mrs Amy Morin) that this book of yours truly reached out so deep into me. Thank you for this summary productivity game
My suggestion is to let it out. Women often go through a monthly cycle in which part of it allows you to wallow, for a day. Do that. Feel what you feel. Then set a goal of moving forward, tackling the problem that made you upset in the first place. Once you have a plan, allow yourself to relax. As long as you have a plan and are moving forward, you should feel some relief. Good luck. We don’t all have the same backgrounds, skills, support network. We don’t have the same chemistry. Unfortunately, even though we have lots of meds that supposedly tackle depression, we really don’t have a handle on it yet.
I don't think this is about mental ilness. These are dysfunctional behavior patterns all of us develop and which we need to adress and unlearn in order to live a better life.
This is all true and I have a very challenging life like Amy ; May be more than Amy’s life. I believe in God even though I don’t still understand that why certain horrible & uncontrollable things are happening in some people’s life and others lives are going in a smooth way. I think , no one can get the answer on this except God. So, I stopped to ask questions to myself and I will ask God one day . Having said this, remarkably, I have these 13 things in the life and I believe that God gave me such a big strength to go ahead. I can enjoy the life more now because I stopped to worry about tomorrow. Life is a gift and don’t waste time for unnecessary thoughts in our lives. I never give a shit on people’s judgements on me and I can laugh at them all the time. I know who I am and that’s why others cunning mental torture opinions will not affect me. So many people who got a smooth life, are mourning all the time for a small thing and I always stunned to see that . Their minds are so weak and vulnerable. Actually their life is so miserable than mine , even though their life is more smoother than mine. So, a tough life or tough experiences are making us more strong in the life . Also, Humans never get satisfied for anything actually ! Be thankful all the time and I always compare my life to the people who are living more badly than me. Then immediately, I thank to God and try to pray for them. Empathy is very important in our lives . So many people have sympathy, but not having an empathy!! We all need a healing time for any horrible experiences in the life , but Trust in God and he would always show the right path to overcome. That’s exactly happening in my life.
These thirteen examples show the power of inner humility and the practice of rationality. Inner humility is not the public display of being humble (false humility) but the acceptance of ones finite and precarious existence and valuing the opportunity to exist regardless. The courage to live knowing that you will suffer and die. Using your life to make a contribution and a statement in the face of all that is random and terrifying. Greatness comes out of this yet rarely will it be seen as great and that is OK because we do it for ourselves anyway.
Very well done video!! Thank you!! A different way of stating what mentally strong people don't do is that they don't play victim (victim to circumstances, other people etc.). Instead, they take accountability for their life. They figure out how to thrive no matter what cards were dealt to them.
Life is not finite. Life in this body on earth is. both true. But doing a bad thing can have a good thing resulting from it. Doing a good thing can have a bad thing as result. Choices can result in all kinds of possibilities - and there isn't one absolute good or bad choice. This reminds me of people who live in darkness and people living in light - the ones in the light are thinking that the ones in darkness should live in the light. Truth is there is light everywhere, so is darkness.
Serve. Control. Reflect. These are the components to the mindset of the mentally strong. - Flip viewing the world as owing you for something to being indebted to the world. Serve the world to add value, focus only on this to remove resentful thinking. - Focus on what you can control, the locus of control. You can't control external things, the past or future, you don't have full control over thoughts either. You control right now. You control how you respond to upset. - Reflect on your failures. Don't run from them, aim to learn. How can you improve?
If such a list of things existed, a person may find that adhering to this list restricts them in one way or another. Every person is different; each person is better off to customize his or her own path to leave a negative situation behind in order to move forward in their life. Nonetheless, here is an idea for mental strengthening that may appeal to you: develope your self-respect AND your respect for other people so that these two respects balance each other out. The idea is to prevent your self-respect from becoming so strong that it transforms itself to self-righteousness. And, when other people realize that you respect them, they will return this respect. The beauty of '13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do' is that it is very geneeral in nature and therefore applies to everyone.
hello there, Mr. Nathan, I hope this message finds you well can you share your way on how to read and summarize the books you read thank you and have a great day
I knew I'd pass this with flying colors. A very positively minded person just automatically do not do these things. The key to happiness and positivity is progress. Progress in anything or things. I started playing guitar when I was 15 and never quit. After the Army at 21 I started training for natural body building competitions. I rose to a high level here in the DFW area. After that I got into other hobbies. Pool, TX Holdem. Doesnt matter what it is, as long as you're always doing something and getting better.
wow so the "world does not owe you anything" line always annoys me. I think its possible to say that people deserve to be treated on a certain level and don't deserve to have cruel things happen to them, while still conceding that these bad things will happen no matter what. We can still acknowledge injustice i.e someone did not deserve their pain, while conceding that unfair things will always happen. The problem with the "world owes you nothing" narrative is that is an ultimatum. If the world owes me nothing, I owe the world nothing. However, living like that would be crazy, clearly to some degree I owe it to people to treat them with dignity and they me. But, of course unfair things always happen. It is true that reward for your hard work is not certain. This leads to the philosophy that being good/responsible is useless since you'll receive no real reward. This means that due to all this uncertainty working hard/being good is kinda stupid and we should focus on our own selfish current desires. And this philosophy is on that I think is negated. Sometimes being selfish is healthy. I see to many older middle aged people who have sacrificed a lot doing a job they hate/stuck in marriage/family they don't like due to a sense of responsibility and the deep bitterness when they receive no reward. However, this "live selfishly now because you owe no one anything" can be dangerous for obvious reasons.
To cheetah: wow you present formidable arguments. From your comments and mastery of English, you seem to be highly intelligent and educated. A welcome relief from the majority of commenters.
Maybe it would annoy you less if you understood the meaning, if you are a strong person you are responsible for your life and the way you live it...nobody else. It goes without saying that if you are weak (drug addicted or homeless) strong people will take care of you in some way...compassion, taking money out of my paycheck, etc.
cheetah 3012 Hello cheetah, are you fast ? Lol, I appreciate your viewpoint and it got me thinking !! Oh boy )) The world owes us nothing, we owe the world nothing hmm when we’re born, not by our choice, how can we be in debt already? And how can the world suddenly owe us, I think both concepts are thin. Do we help others to make ourselves feel better or because we think they need us ? I know I don’t like to be helped if I can do for myself. I think in being the best we can be we are by virtue the best help for others, people can draw inspiration from our example, I know I gain this from others, even people I never met ! Also I think the concept of fair that is practiced and taught by parents is ludicrous. It gives false expectations, how can the world possibly be fair if you take an objective look at it, I’m glad it’s not fair, fair is boring, we would all have to be clones for it to exist. Not a single philosophy ever even speaks of the concept of fair and parents should take note! Of course less than 1 percent of the population ever reads from the greatest minds of history. It should be the first thing we’re taught once we’re capable of understanding concepts, without logic and reason how can we learn anything else or know if new information is valid ? Just some musings, enjoyed your prose, Jake Good day
These things listed have NOTHING to do with mental strength (or weakness) , but show that how you think about the world affects your chance of being happy. What the hell does the term "Mentally Strong People" even mean? Having said that, I agree with the things listed. They can be learned by anyone.
Whats wrong with not being mentally strong? As we get older we learn these lessons anyway. I was terribly unconfident in my twenties and not mentally strong at all, but I muddled through and learnt my lessons, and dealt with unkind and mentally unwell people, and was rejected a few times and had my heartbroken. And over time I learnt three main things, 1.Don't be so hard on yourself, we screw up. 2. Be the friend you would like to have. 3. Forgive and let go and accept that not everyone will be kind, but know that they are hurting at times too. I'm in my forties now and more patient and accepting, I'm still a work in progress, but with time you will ok. Be kind to yourself and others.
I was afraid of alienating my friends back in Uni. So I hung out even if that made me uncomfortable. I’m an infj. I need to be alone sometimes to fully recharge. But my friends didn’t give me that. She always stood right next to me in every single class. Wanted to spend time outside even though I wanted to go home. So I begun to take some space between little by little. A year later I was alone in a table doing what I want with no one to bother. It was liberating. However I felt bad for acting like that to her even this day. This situation lasted for 2 years until graduation. Somehow I successfully alienated myself from the class. Then another wave of depression hit me. Informations didn’t come at the right time. I was lagging behind informations that were important. I couldn’t go back to my friends. Maybe I was using them after all. It was fun when it lasted. Now I’ve graduated. After graduation first two years felt lonesome because I was too used to being alone that I felt like an antisocial. Then I started to stop worrying about anything and just let go of myself. Duh. I gained weight but I also learned again how to communicate like a normal person. Now I feel like getting into control again because I’ve left myself free for too long. That’s how I stopped fearing loneliness and actually let go of useless thoughts. Now barely nothing amazes me. I dunno if it’s good or bad but somehow I felt good about being alone during the time when I needed the most.
You lost me at "...our parents quickly resolved the injustice." My Mom taught me these simple rules; The only one that you can truly rely on is yourself. Always look for the best in others but don't waste too much time on it. It usually isn't there.
The world is unfair, but, feel that you are being treated unfairly is normal and not a fault. By experiencing the unfairness, you can do better to treat people more fair in the future. Just thinking that ‘the world is unfair’ and that’s it, is just accepting the condition, focus only to urself, yet, you are given a chance to improve world’s behavior.
Happened to come across your channel.....O oooh God! its a pure gold mine for principles in every field! Thank You Nathan... Please do "TRACTION " by Gino Wickman
Hm, I really don't think it works that way at all. Mentally strong simply means that you've build up some strong compensators for handling hard mental impacts whatever the compensators may be, patiently focusing on long term horizons on top of it but not expecting anything. Plus being able to see matters in prespective all the time. We've learned that things in life can come as they come, processing them balanced perspectively for moving on.
I've never disiked a TH-cam vid before, or at least never said so. Not having read Ms Moran's book, I can say nothing negative about it, but the gentleman summarizing it is certainly not speaking from his own experience. He is an Armchair Strong Person (ASP). How dare he come here and lecture us! Some of us HAVE gone through these experiences, which is how we can tell he hasn't. I'd love to hear Amy Morin's summary. If PG wanted a part, he could set up an interview to lead her to talk about her pain and her resilience in her own voice. NOT CLIFF NOTES!
Was really into it until you listed feelings and thoughts as things you cant control. Over time they can surely be bridled as much as the heart or tongue. All said the whole is pretty good stuff. Thanks
That might work lots of times, but not in extreme cases though. In a book Inviting Monkey to Tea, it's said you can't always control your feelings but you can control how you feel about your feelings. I think that's deep. For example some people going through an extremely rough situation (for example, victims of repeated abuses / extreme hate crimes) can't help feeling sad or scared, it's not healthy to bottle up or force yourself to not feel anything. A healthy way is to acknowledge these sadness or fear etc., tell yourself that it's ok to feel the way they feel, see them from a 3rd person perspective / as just a matter of fact. Once the feelings are addressed and dealt with, they will subside. These are just from my personal experience that works, yours might be different.
No. 14 write a book that implies they're mentally strong and suggesting that people who don't meet their said criteria are somehow lesser, and possibly mentally weak....
2:30 i dont agree with that at all!! dont compare yourself with people who are worse off than you, like you dont compare yourself with someone better off. That will just lead to shame for being depressed. You dont have to feel entitled to allow your self to feel bad. Its Ok not to be Ok. These are also legitimate emotions, mentally strong people persevere thru it- maybe with a little help from therapy. Its not about who had it worse (or better). DONT PLAY MISERY POKER with the world. You will loose!
PS. There are so so many people who dont ever speak up about their problems because they feel that they shouldnt complain while so many others are suffering. If everyone thought like that, only one person in the world would be allowed to admit they were hurt, who ever is dying in the worst possible way. You have the right to your own pain. Nothing would change for the better if we arent allowed to voice what is wrong in our own lives, dictators would rule and more ppl would die. I hate that mind-set. Its isolating and dangerous. People commit suicide because of it. Mentally strong people are the ones who can admit that they are vulnerable. What you are going thru is important to you, and bad things can be devastating in the context of what is goin on with your life! That is why its useless to compare suffering. That doesnt mean you cant be grateful for what you Do have! But you cant move on if you supress or diminsh what is hurting you. If you are having problems, admit them
If mental health was this simple, then we wouldn't need therapists and psychologists. Nice bullet points, but please try not to take this as gospel for how to avoid depression or some wild nonsense like that. Its title should present itself as "Mental Stamina" instead of 'Mental Strength'.
It is a theory if anything. A person has the power to change. The negative ideas and turn into positive concepts. You my friend are coming off like you could've written a better book. Many thinkers have proven you can be your own therapist. Do remember the crisis we are facing called covid-19. So social distancing was all the great thinkers thousands years ago. This the consequences of human behavior an or duality. This is very much like a double edge sword is sharp. However the person that holds must a expert to be skillful. This is only possible through practice and at the same time not looking for a challenger. Simply put the second amendment which says the right to bear arm. In short my fellow sentient beings. Get hold of yourselves and most of all get a grip.
Oh my goodness that is a very toxic thing to say, and also very unwise. There is strength in vulnerabilty. Flexible things bend, hard things snap. Whats natural and normal and strong is to feel, and be supported and support others. Grow and help others grow to create webs of strength. Humans wouldnt survive without the suppport and love from parents, family, and other people. I know its hard to remember that especially if you had an unkind upbringing, but its absolutely true. Healthy life shows there is a balance of soft and hard, flexibilty and structure, independence and connectivity. There is nothing weak about reaching out for support. Its part of what makes us human.
@Francisco Duran It takes a great deal of strength to go to a therapist. That means you have decided to fix something that you now know is wrong with you. You are not leaning on a therapist. Therapists help to clarify your thinking and help you make good future decisions by serving as a sounding board. You go to a therapist to find peace within yourself and trust yourself to make good and better future decisions. Therapists are trained to listen carefully and help you learn the art of critical thinking. They are healers. Weak people would not go to therapists due to fear. Strong people admit that they are not yet capable of helping themselves, so they take responsibility for their well being and future. Be kind, be focused towards your own growth, and don't hesitate to search and find help when you need it. It will make you very strong. I know. I'm 69 years old and I sought out therapists when I was 21 and went from there. Be a life-long learner and be gentle with yourself and others. You will grow into an outstanding person and your heart will be in the right place. You will become a role-model and maybe even a leader. Trust good people. Learn to trust yourself.
Speaking as someone with an anxiety disorder this is easier said than done. If people could do this easily, mental illness would not exist. But thanks for the 13 reasons why...
that rule could apply in any system and I have experienced this from places I've worked for ( generally run by sociopaths so its a mindset of a weak person ) to cover their asses so they dont have to pay for their errors.
Summary of 13 things successful people are NOT doing. @7:46:
1. Stop feeling the world owes them anything
2. Stop feeling sorry for themselves
3. Stop resenting other people's success
4. Stop wasting energy they can't control
5. Stop dwelling in the past
6. Stop letting other people's opinion dictates their life
7. Stop worrying about and pleasing everyone
8. Stop making the same mistakes over and over
9. Stop shying away from changes
10. Stop fearing about taking calculated risks
11. Stop expecting immediate results
12. Stop giving up after a first failure
13. Stop fearing about spending time alone
Thuy-Hong Nguyen thanks! You saved me ten minutes. 🙃
Thuy-Hong Nguyen the kind of hero we all need
I checked 11out of 13. I'm always told that I'm very mentally strong. I always watched situation that happened to my family and friends and learned from their mistakes.
Thank you!
Thanks!
Mentally strong people make mistakes. Be gentle on yourself.
Strong men also cry. The Big Lebowski
They make mistakes and learn from it.
Francisco Duran weak people pick on others so they would feel strong
@@cat_atouille thank you!:)
jennifer blake 😊
Everyone reading this may you live a Successful life. Your brother is praying for you.
Mr. Jadoun you too!
@@JoshAngel Thanks
ok
@@Q_QQ_Q 👍🏻
@muhammad shoukry Thank you ❤
“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness."
-DALE CARNEGIE
Books In Review boom! 🎤👋🏼 should be written in gold!
100% truth!💪
revenge solves nothing
hatred sharpens the mind, keeps others in line.
If only someone can tell this to NBA Hall of Famer Michael Jordan so he can stop hating another NBA Hall of Famer Isaiah Thomas.
“If you want to avoid repeating a mistake, spend some time studying it. Set any negative feelings you might have aside, acknowledge the factors that led up to your misstep, and learn from it.”
― Amy Morin, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do.
This is what I am doing after I mistreated my friend due to a reason I thought was genuine, I have asked for forgiveness and been forgiven but am in the road to forgive myself which is awfully painful.
I'm going to make a more concerted effort to be more creative in my mistake making. Not being smug either. I really think this might be important.
Summary for myself:
1) Mentally strong people don't feel the world owes them anything: Just because you are a 'good' person, does not mean you deserve something more than another. Something bad happened in your life? Think about others who have it worse and what you have in your life to still be grateful.
2) Mentally strong people don't focus on things they can't control: This is similar to the 'circle of influence' concept. Focus on the things you CAN control and how you react to situations.
3) Mentally strong people don't make the same mistake over and over again: They ask 'why' the mistake happened in the first place and then determine ways to prevent it happening again.
Rish great value! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you!
And, they don't wonder, why is there so much focus on 3 things, when there are actually 13.
Where are the other 10?
so rape is okay right? because they keep making mistakes?
I hope you read this
You have changed my life a lot
Thank you very much
Stay safe and stay blessed
Arvind Ramachandran awesome! What’s the biggest change you’ve seen so far Arvind?
without effort my heart sometimes breaks on its own ... I think not getting what you wish for can also be a blessing
Lost my young wife, son, brother, some close friends in disease and accidents and moved on without regreting my life choices who ended up like that. And that paper burning thing wont work att all. Its in your mind if you stay in the land of sorrow or move on. Not in smashed or burning things. When you look back. Look at the happy moments and not the bad and give full throttle to the next thing in life. Its all to short already to dwell in the past. But i agree in, learn by your mistakes and treat those moments like an experience of things who didnt work out that good for you or maybe was just great. And dont forget, listen to friendly advices but in the end make your own. And last, smile sometimes. One day its over no matter what. Take care. ♥️👍
Thank you, you have a very good point.
I agree I thought a lot of this smash this and burn that was just a bunch of tripe...
PS sounds like advice given from a young person who hasn't really lived...
@@williamrichards3707 56 and not feeling that old yet 😊. Life isnt all about age when most are about experience. Some gets old but have never lived and some say goodbye rather young but have seen much. I was born in the sixties and see a many times doubtful world today with sometimes young people running around and acting violent in a strange upset way to trying to find the truth behind it all. They wont find it in that violent way. But maybe if they listen from time to time over the past and think for their own a minute. Some do when others dont. You have a nice day on the other side of this Internet. 👍
@@fonziebulldog5786 with age comes experience. I'm 66 years old with six children first one at age 31 last one in 53. 16 and a half years in the combat arms. Raise the first three of my six children by myself. They were seven and a half, 5 + 1/2, and 6 months old. I went from GI Joe to mr. mom in 2 weeks. In the 31 Nations in every state in this country. The advice that young man was giving was as I said a bunch of tripe.
I needed this video now more than ever ! Thank you youtube recommendation. Amongst everything happening in this world due to COVID 19, I am about to loose everything I worked for in the past 3 years. My life has come to a stop. And I can't find a way out. I have been angry and frustrated. With no one to talk to. This gave me some comfort.
Take it one day at a time.
You're not alone!
I grew up in foster care.
When I was 19 I was doing volunteer work for a shelter while trying to get out from under homelessness.
At the time I met many homeless who were in despair as they lost their factory jobs. Many had cabins and boats and took annual vacations. They had it all and lost it all. Many wouldn't volunteer, they just stood in line for soup and bread and waited for cots to sleep on in the gymnasium. They old and probably in pain and tired and really had no future to look forward to . I had come out of foster care and homelessness but i was young and had nothing anyway so I lost nothing.
Now I'm as old as they were and things are same for me. I have my own business. Just something I do alone , no employees. I have a house and live with my wife and dog. She has no income. I'm desperate for work and I'm afraid of ending up homeless again. And I have physical pain I didn't have before. But I know that if the worse happens I have to volunteer again so I don't sink into the despair I witnessed in others in the past.
I know it will be 10 times harder though for my wife. But some how we're going to have to pick up the pieces and move on and stay as positive as we can under the circumstances. Meanwhile think think think what can I do to reinvent myself, continue being self employed etc.
I can't just quit. I've already put the whole suicide question behind me a long time ago. I've filled those synapses over with commitment to myself and my wife that I'm in till my last breath and that includes fighting for my right to pursue success.
Never give up but always keep an open mind and always seek out the good and the positive no matter what the circumstance.
Lookup Joseph Prince's latest sermon clip
archii bags so many people have faced such difficulties due to this horrendous pandemic......I’ve missed cancer scans, I had an asthma attack and had to be treated on a stairwell rather than go into hospital today.....I was supposed to be moving to my new home in April.....Look at the loved ones lost too....We are all in this together my friend, look around you, go on social networking sites it’s everywhere....Let’s all pray and comfort each other....Sending you love and peace....💕✌🏻🙏🏼🇬🇧
Instead of saying, "no more", say, " I want to know more." The power of knowledge is a most remarkable thing. Also, a mistake is not a mistake if it is corrected.
it serves you when creating new ways to cope that can be successful - stay curious to what I could have said would be the best solution that changes life as we know it for the better ...
A mistake is a learning opportunity that was not learned from.
The part Amy missed is, it's not just mentally strong but emotionally strong as well- this is where people excel the most. I love the saying "protect your heart, your mind and your wallet".
One of the most helpful things I have found to avoid getting pulled down into the muck of someone's words or actions is I have learned to minimize (I won't say "not care") the importance of what other people think of me. If I know I am doing the best I can in any circumstances, that is all I can do. If my best isn't good enough for them, then it is out of my control. Trying to please people who disagree with us is the wrong path. When you keep high standards of behavior and thought, you don't need to make someone else your master.
Oh oh oh...
I read this book 2 months back, and LOVED it !
After watching your video, I realized that this would be the PERFECT time to re-read this book, during these difficult days. Let me get my kindle!
Thank for a great video, and a beautiful choice of book at this time!
We need all the mental strength we can muster at this point of time!
SomeOther Name amazing! You’re so right, now more than ever we need to develop mental toughness!
All of these insights were great and very helpful. As a psychologist and counsellor I found this very nicely summarised and succinctly put. My only criticism is of the title of the book and this subsequent video, namely because using the title mentally 'strong' by it's very nature suggests that people who do not do these things, are in the opposite 'camp' and are therefore mentally 'weak'. Weak being opposite to strong, this is not a good starting point for people to begin from, to be told that by not thinking a certain way, that they are 'mentally WEAK'. Apart from this shortfall, this is an excellent article.
This incorporates the most important parts of Stoic philosophy which was around in the third century BC.
I don't agree with comparing on thinking of the people who are less fortunate just to feel good about yourselves. For sure even the person in a dire situation has also something to be grateful.
It's not meant for you to "just feel better about yourself" but to see things from a different perspective and realize things are not as negative as they seemed.
I kinda prefer the grass is always greener. It goes in both directions and helps one see that even those that seem more fortunate are just as likely to engage in distorted thinking or suffer from actual crisis.
@@juanpennisi1202 , I agree. It's a tool that we have to show our depressive brain that there are things we can be grateful for when we just can't find any otherwise.
I'm pissed about this lock-down, but when I see that in third-wold countries many are hungry, search for essentials while dodging brutal police officers, and are otherwise struggling to survive, I realize that I have MUCH to be grateful for.
Joy Gaudiano yes and we can also think of others that are more fortunate too.....✌🏻
I agree. Thinking of others' misfortunes certainly doesn't make me feel better! And that dismisses the REAL issues people are having and suffering with - you don't have to justify your pain, it is relative and it is real, even if you're from a more advanced nation! Focusing on Gratitude for what you do have is what helps.
This was timely. I had watched her TED talk and forgotten some of its passages, so thank you for reminding them.
I LOVED this video and was going to share it with my clients who struggle with co-occurring addiction and mental health issues. The ONE part where you say that you're not like the alcoholic that keeps going back to drinking, over and over.... doesn't fit. Addiction, being a chemical dependency on an external substance, is not just a "mistake" they can just quit.
Love the video, but I won't be sharing with them sadly. Aside from this one thing, it's well done and will work for the right population.
I am therapist trying help people not give up with organic medicine and things they can do at home such as yoga/ stretching.
I would like to join u I am a Special Education teacher
Can't stretch the bull shit out of a F=/%=ed up capitalist society.
@@theacmemovement9677 😂😂😂 oh good one!!
@@Melinda8162 you should visit the comment section at the PBS news hour. I would not waist much time watching the show. The truth always pertains...i find it most often from a jag off comedian and his guest at the Jimmy Dore show.
@MsSilentlightning Snopes has debunked all that shit already.
At this point I would like to make a distinction. You have one metaphor for experienced equestrians, and another for novices and those who have never ridden. The "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on again." saying, applies to experienced equestrians because they know why they hit the dirt every single time and unless you are trying to be an experienced equestrian it fits poorly. If you are a novice, then it fits but only occasionally. If you are a nonequestrian who is trying it out, it is inadvisable unless you are being coached by someone who has the fruit on the tree. If you are in any stage of becoming a Rodeo Cowboy or Cowgirl, then you damned well better do it.
As a metaphor for life it works because laying down, becoming depressed and giving up all come from the same source, inactivity and not understanding. A senseless feeling of pain that robs you of the will to do.
Amy Morin may be a trained psychotherapist but she is mixing her metaphors and I do not trust her ability with good reason. I don't need to list my setbacks, losses, tragedies and the times I was betrayed by someone I trusted and loved, to know that ""Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on again." works and you have plenty of time to think about why you bucked off in between the time you hit the dirt and when you get back in the saddle. I won't say it doesn't hurt, when someone you love dies or your business partner embezzles the money from your company, or you get a divorce, because it does.
What I will say is pain and tragedy is no excuse for not moving forward. If all you can do is crawl, then crawl forward. If all you can do are baby steps, then baby step your way forward. Eventually, you will run if you just don't quit. 9 times out of 10 people quit when they could have won; could have pushed through the pain. The 10th time they were in a no win situation through no fault of their own, and most of the time, if we are honest, we get into no win situations because we made hasty, ill advised or just plain bad decisions. Like this one it screams bad decision making paradigm, "I am waiting for my ship to come in." If you want to know why, just say this, "That's great. When did you send your ship out?" Then watch as they give you a blank stare.
Amy Morin in saying "they don't make the same mistake over and over." is oversimplifying the problem, then she make that stupid statement about a saying. Also women can't always control their thoughts and emotions, but men can. It has to do with the number of neural pathways that connect the halves of the brain, and it is biology. I can just shut my mind off and think about nothing. All men can do that, but with time and practice I learned how to turn off my emotions and my thoughts. It is like how you cannot be afraid and angry at the same time. And all the women reading this will disagree, but it is true for men. But you cannot control the consequences of a decision, another person's reaction to what you do or say, no matter how you phrase it, or what is done to you by another person.
And since I am commenting as a mentally strong person I will say the following. No they do not make the same mistake over and over, they try different things and make all new mistakes. There is a simple reason for it. We learn by either being instructed by someone who has already made their mistakes and learned from them, or by making mistakes ourselves. IF you are very smart, then you can watch someone who is pretty smart themselves make a mistake and learn that way. But almost 100% of people over estimate their abilities and their intelligence, until after they have made a few mistakes and paid the price for them. (I got that from a clinical psychologist who is very good at his job.) So something is really messed up here, the book or your treatment of it, I can't say for sure which. So Cowboy up, and fix it!
I know my mistakes, my emotions are hard to get around... so I pray , too,
This is an excellent video, which should be taught to schoolchildren whilst young.
It basically summarises everything I learned whilst in the Military some forty years ago.
Unfortunately teaching this would go against the primary reason why we have government run schools, to keep these healthy paradigms. The complete opposite values are at the "core" of their agenda..
I was troubled by this video because I reckon that taking on these mental rules will block people from feeling their emotions...
and I believe that feeling is the way we heal after a troubling situation.
@@Wonderfeel__
You don't 'heal' from a few insults, you only need to heal from physical injury.
I've been terribly insulted over the years, particularly whilst serving in 1970s Belfast, and the words are basically 'water off a ducks back'. It was the petrol bombs, bullets and explosive devices that so many of my comrades were forced to 'heal' from as best they could.
@@cedricworthingtonbroadaxe2287 It's good to have tough skin, but don't you think there's also emotional healing that's needed sometimes, if something does get right through. If something in life (or in combat) is really disturbing. That's when I feel healing is helpful.
@@Wonderfeel__
This is another sensible/intelligent reply, but it also illustrates perfectly the differences between the way men and women think.
In order to (I hope) clarify my point; I'm going to use a couple of personal experiences I had earlier in life.
1.
As part of the British Military deployed to Belfast to 'maintain order' during the 1970's, I was ordered to 'escort' to hospital a lad who'd been knee-capped in both knees by the IRA.
I've never forgotten the obvious anguish/misery of that lad's sobs/screams, words during that helicopter flight; but would it have done anyone/anything any good dwelling on the experience over the next ten/twenty years ? Obviously not, although I do occasionally wonder if he did ever walk/play football again ?
2.
Having left the Military, I spent several years in the Devon Fire Brigade, during which time I was fortunate to be deployed to the Chase-Webb Printers fire; at that time the biggest fire Plymouth had suffered since the Blitz. Having brought the actual blaze under control, I was one among'st perhaps 30 lads ordered to search for the bodies of people 'presumed dead' within the building. I actually found what I thought was one of the bodies and was then ordered to "Grab a shovel and bag up the remains for Forensics."
I did so, but reading the story in the local papers later, was amazed to realize that I'd actually been shoveling up the remains of two people: Angelo Crakadopolis and Angela Barker as a result of a truly heroic action which ended badly for them both.
Having initially escaped from the burning factory, Ms Barker decided to re-enter the cloak-room to retrieve her coat/handbag which contained three weeks holiday pay. When she failed to exit again, Angelo went in to rescue her. He apparently picking her up and carried her to within ten yards of the exit door before being overcome by carbon monoxide fumes and dying alongside her; an obvious hero who deserved a better fate than Life dealt him.
Was I 'traumatized' by these and/or several other such incidents ?
I don't think so,
BUT .... ?
That said; I've never permitted my wife to work, because I believed her to be far safer staying home looking after me and our ten children; which I specifically wanted to bestow the Gift of Life to, because I'd seen with my own eyes just how frail/vulnerable human beings really are when exposed to the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune'.
With all that said, the final summary is this:-
When my four sons came of age, all volunteered for the British Army, and all were turned down. One of my daughters (who'd also attended University and got a Medical Degree) was accepted as a Combat Medic however; and ultimately served three tours in Afghanistan where she was so traumatized at the sight of the injuries suffered by several of the young hero's her team were sent in to extricate/treat, that she's still being treated/medicated herself for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder some eight/ten years later.
So what conclusion can be drawn from these events ?
Perhaps that, despite what Politically Correct/Feminist propaganda may say, men and women look at the world from very different perspectives; and rather that insisting 'all are equal', our Society would be far better advised to recognize these differences rather than determinedly ignore them ?
Mentally strong people still will dwell on losing their job but they won't freak and try to learn from it. Some very mentally strong people will dwell on the past but the difference is they will use the negative and turn into a positive force, perfect example Michael Jordan.He also obsessed of what others thought of him to fuel his fire.
Mihaela B: who the heck cares about michael jordan?? nike??
also can we take a moment and acknowledge sometimes the world does owe you something? Maybe if you employer is treating you unfairly, you should join a union and fight for the rights that are owed to you. Maybe if you are being discriminated against due to you identity, you should stand up for the rights you are owed. Maybe if there's a system that will always put you down due to your gender, you should feel you are owed something more. Or taking the example of losing people you love, I'd like to think we live in a society were it is morally acknowledged that when people lose their loved ones we owe it to them to just give them time to get back on their feet.
We are broken people in a broken world
This world will never be fair and perhaps you should thank your lucky stars that you haven't always gotten what you deserved
Just walk away
Its up to YOU to find your place in the world.
If your job isn't fair, walk away, find another one.
If someone legitimately wrongs you, bring suit and hope for the best, otherwise walk away
We ALL have 24/7/365 until our time comes to move on
Don't waste it on petty fights with petty people over petty things
I have never thought of things I deserve, only what I can achieve thru hard work.
Everything I dont have is because choices I make or dont make
No expectations
Just be
Grateful thankful blessed
💛
when I was growing up, my father told me several times, that the world does not owe anyone anything..
Mark Perugini smart man!
Your dad ✌🏻
Mine said the same.
@@u.p.woodtick3296 It's almost like something they all say.
Mark Perugini I remembering when I was graduating high school my fathers best advice that I remember was, “You have one reputation don’t fuck it up”
I had a tough morning and was thinking about quitting. But stumbled on this. Don’t know how. Thank you. I needed to see this today.
The other side of No1 is feeling you don't deserve good fortune or getting something you feel you haven't earned.
Thank you so much for this. I was sent this video by a friend weeks ago but was putting it off out of fear. I’m ready to take the necessary steps to start living my life
Non-stop tragedies are usually precipitated by generational curses,of persons who are unfortunate enough to be born into secret societies/cults. I circumvented my troubles by prayer and unabashed activism in the U.N. etc. In addition,I cut ties with family who are still cult involved.Things have improved by 75%. Blessings🌈
Carol Stanhope I feel like this needs to be more pubslished stories we never get to hear
TH-cam needs more videos like this.....this is a productive use of online media...knowledge is truth...now subscribed
1) Karma Yoga- give to others and do the best you can do.. dont expect the the fruit of actions
Nathan I personally want to thank you for deciding to make the world a better place.thankd you for creating productivity game and for all the effort you put into doing one page summaries of wisdom hidden books. Thank you for making the knowledge more accessible for those of us who don't like reading or don't have the patience to sit through a whole book. Thank you for joining the force of individuals out there who let trith be their purpose. God bless you Nathan 💕✨
This is the most followed TH-cam channel for me!! For sure the influence is humongous. Thank you, best wishes to you 🙏
I have major anxiety for going out during this pandemic. I he that writing my fears and burning them help me not be so paralyzed. Thanks
What a perfect book to review in our current pandemic crisis. Thank you for doing this for us. It was only a month ago that I used to run along the beach and listen to your book reviews. I can't wait to do that again. I've learned so much from your channel. Be safe and keep going!!!
Tony Rinaldi amazing Tony! How have you seen your life improve from this channel?
Very good video. To make it though my 8+ year divorce (and the numerous attempts by my ex trying to get me fired from my Departement), many of my friends asked me how I survived the ordeal. My answer, in short, was: one day at time and emotional discipline. I also recognized that there are other people in the world who have/had it worse than I did. In the end, I am back to the person I was before (with a strengthened character) and she is a bitter old woman (because of her entitlement attitude).
I LOVE my alone time !!!
Good! Very Good!
what are the best methods you are using to use your alone time!
Being alone is being FREE !
Stay away from those who want to take up / waste your time, with their problems/ & stuff. Time wasted is time you will never get back !
I am a senior now ... for younger people, my recommendation is ... learn how to say 'NO' and get comfortable using this word. It will change your life ! ... you will be in more control of your life !
thank you
1. The world doesn't own you anything
You must be able to build yourself with what you have and be able to strive for success despite the setbacks.
2. They won’t focus on something that they can’t control
There are things that we can control and there are things that we can’t control, we should focus on something that we can control since things that we can’t control aren’t worth the time to spend time on.
3. Don’t make the same mistake.
Strong-minded people learn from their past and improve on their future, since they don’t make the same mistake.
Its a hard thing to swallow that evil is pervasive every where through the world. I have been having a rough time lately graping the fact people are not who i thought they were and not trying to control a situation. But i guess all i can do is keep trying to brutally force forward progress. Been super negative feeling lately letting the world and people get too me and my life. Tomorrow is a new day and just remember when i open my eyes tomorrow just keep at it, not let the world or people win. Hope everyone has a good day self reflection is super important can be very scary to do tho.
John Mora mate I feel you there. I’ve spent a lot of time being passive however and I can’t say it’s been effective or helped my mental health. At a certain point you have to deal with people in your life.....
THIS message is my lesson of the 2021 for me. I want you to know (Mrs Amy Morin) that this book of yours truly reached out so deep into me. Thank you for this summary productivity game
The summary was precise, visually appealing and informative. Thank you for creating and sharing!
Thank you Productivity Game for explaining important facts in short. Especially because of this video, I feel more motivated than before.
I’m allowed to have feelings and depression that’s how we get on with life we are allowed to feel how we feel
yup, that's the way to empower your misery.........wallow in it
My suggestion is to let it out. Women often go through a monthly cycle in which part of it allows you to wallow, for a day. Do that. Feel what you feel. Then set a goal of moving forward, tackling the problem that made you upset in the first place.
Once you have a plan, allow yourself to relax. As long as you have a plan and are moving forward, you should feel some relief. Good luck. We don’t all have the same backgrounds, skills, support network. We don’t have the same chemistry. Unfortunately, even though we have lots of meds that supposedly tackle depression, we really don’t have a handle on it yet.
That's weakness and a way to garner sympathy, which furthers your weakness.
I don't think this is about mental ilness. These are dysfunctional behavior patterns all of us develop and which we need to adress and unlearn in order to live a better life.
bellmeisterful allowing yourself to feel what you feel is weakness? What a curious idea.
This is all true and I have a very challenging life like Amy ; May be more than Amy’s life.
I believe in God even though I don’t still understand that why certain horrible & uncontrollable things are happening in some people’s life and others lives are going in a smooth way. I think , no one can get the answer on this except God. So, I stopped to ask questions to myself and I will ask God one day . Having said this, remarkably, I have these 13 things in the life and I believe that God gave me such a big strength to go ahead. I can enjoy the life more now because I stopped to worry about tomorrow. Life is a gift and don’t waste time for unnecessary thoughts in our lives. I never give a shit on people’s judgements on me and I can laugh at them all the time.
I know who I am and that’s why others cunning mental torture opinions will not affect me.
So many people who got a smooth life, are mourning all the time for a small thing and
I always stunned to see that . Their minds are so weak and vulnerable. Actually their life is so miserable than mine , even though their life is more smoother than mine. So, a tough life or tough experiences are making us more strong in the life . Also, Humans never get satisfied for anything actually ! Be thankful all the time and
I always compare my life to the people who are living more badly than me. Then immediately, I thank to God and try to pray for them. Empathy is very important in our lives . So many people have sympathy, but not having an empathy!!
We all need a healing time for any horrible experiences in the life , but Trust in God and he would always show the right path to overcome. That’s exactly happening in my life.
this is very much helpful! Thank you. thank you so much! stay safe and blessed!
Junnel Nacional love it! What’s your biggest takeaway Junnel?
These thirteen examples show the power of inner humility and the practice of rationality. Inner humility is not the public display of being humble (false humility) but the acceptance of ones finite and precarious existence and valuing the opportunity to exist regardless. The courage to live knowing that you will suffer and die. Using your life to make a contribution and a statement in the face of all that is random and terrifying. Greatness comes out of this yet rarely will it be seen as great and that is OK because we do it for ourselves anyway.
I appreciate this today - thank you for sharing
Very well done video!! Thank you!! A different way of stating what mentally strong people don't do is that they don't play victim (victim to circumstances, other people etc.). Instead, they take accountability for their life. They figure out how to thrive no matter what cards were dealt to them.
thanks for this.
will get and read this book.
rizza mae ong That’s how you do it! Take action and change your life Rizza! 👊🏻
Loved it, thank You very much
This is so true. Each life is finite in this body on earth.
Life is not finite. Life in this body on earth is. both true.
But doing a bad thing can have a good thing resulting from it.
Doing a good thing can have a bad thing as result.
Choices can result in all kinds of possibilities - and there isn't one absolute good or bad choice.
This reminds me of people who live in darkness and people living in light - the ones in the light are thinking that the ones in darkness should live in the light. Truth is there is light everywhere, so is darkness.
Serve. Control. Reflect. These are the components to the mindset of the mentally strong. - Flip viewing the world as owing you for something to being indebted to the world. Serve the world to add value, focus only on this to remove resentful thinking. - Focus on what you can control, the locus of control. You can't control external things, the past or future, you don't have full control over thoughts either. You control right now. You control how you respond to upset. - Reflect on your failures. Don't run from them, aim to learn. How can you improve?
Great timing for this time in our history. Thank you! 👍🧠💪
Couldn’t agree more! And what’s up with this guy? 👆🏻😂
@Karan A socially-distanced one lol 💋😂Stay well!
@@JoshAngel Everything's possible with social distancing. Well, almost lol 😘👍😷🤷♀️
@Karan 😂😘😉
I’m thankful for this channel.
Can't wait for the sequel:
13 Things Mentally Strong People Do Do.
that bird died all alone - the dodo is extinct and I weep inside every time the dodo is mentioned... ;-(
If such a list of things existed, a person may find that adhering to this list restricts them in one way or another. Every person is different; each person is better off to customize his or her own path to leave a negative situation behind in order to move forward in their life. Nonetheless, here is an idea for mental strengthening that may appeal to you: develope your self-respect AND your respect for other people so that these two respects balance each other out. The idea is to prevent your self-respect from becoming so strong that it transforms itself to self-righteousness. And, when other people realize that you respect them, they will return this respect.
The beauty of '13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do' is that it is very geneeral in nature and therefore applies to everyone.
@@stevenkatz1057 You may have missed the joke there.
All great suggestions to live by
They don't waste time on crap like this...
I try to remind myself to be kind to my self and to everyone. It feels good
hello there, Mr. Nathan,
I hope this message finds you well
can you share your way on how to read and summarize the books you read
thank you and have a great day
I knew I'd pass this with flying colors. A very positively minded person just automatically do not do these things.
The key to happiness and positivity is progress. Progress in anything or things. I started playing guitar when I was 15 and never quit. After the Army at 21 I started training for natural body building competitions. I rose to a high level here in the DFW area. After that I got into other hobbies. Pool, TX Holdem. Doesnt matter what it is, as long as you're always doing something and getting better.
wow so the "world does not owe you anything" line always annoys me. I think its possible to say that people deserve to be treated on a certain level and don't deserve to have cruel things happen to them, while still conceding that these bad things will happen no matter what. We can still acknowledge injustice i.e someone did not deserve their pain, while conceding that unfair things will always happen.
The problem with the "world owes you nothing" narrative is that is an ultimatum. If the world owes me nothing, I owe the world nothing. However, living like that would be crazy, clearly to some degree I owe it to people to treat them with dignity and they me.
But, of course unfair things always happen. It is true that reward for your hard work is not certain. This leads to the philosophy that being good/responsible is useless since you'll receive no real reward. This means that due to all this uncertainty working hard/being good is kinda stupid and we should focus on our own selfish current desires.
And this philosophy is on that I think is negated. Sometimes being selfish is healthy. I see to many older middle aged people who have sacrificed a lot doing a job they hate/stuck in marriage/family they don't like due to a sense of responsibility and the deep bitterness when they receive no reward.
However, this "live selfishly now because you owe no one anything" can be dangerous for obvious reasons.
To cheetah: wow you present formidable arguments. From your comments and mastery of English, you seem to be highly intelligent and educated. A welcome relief from the majority of commenters.
Maybe it would annoy you less if you understood the meaning, if you are a strong person you are responsible for your life and the way you live it...nobody else. It goes without saying that if you are weak (drug addicted or homeless) strong people will take care of you in some way...compassion, taking money out of my paycheck, etc.
you enter this world with just a body and a name, you leave this world with a body, a name, a reputation.
cheetah 3012
Hello cheetah, are you fast ? Lol, I appreciate your viewpoint and it got me thinking !! Oh boy ))
The world owes us nothing, we owe the world nothing hmm when we’re born, not by our choice, how can we be in debt already? And how can the world suddenly owe us, I think both concepts are thin.
Do we help others to make ourselves feel better or because we think they need us ? I know I don’t like to be helped if I can do for myself. I think in being the best we can be we are by virtue the best help for others, people can draw inspiration from our example, I know I gain this from others, even people I never met !
Also I think the concept of fair that is practiced and taught by parents is ludicrous. It gives false expectations, how can the world possibly be fair if you take an objective look at it, I’m glad it’s not fair, fair is boring, we would all have to be clones for it to exist.
Not a single philosophy ever even speaks of the concept of fair and parents should take note! Of course less than 1 percent of the population ever reads from the greatest minds of history. It should be the first thing we’re taught once we’re capable of understanding concepts, without logic and reason how can we learn anything else or know if new information is valid ?
Just some musings, enjoyed your prose, Jake
Good day
I wish I lived in a world where people actually think, and reason is common place.
These things listed have NOTHING to do with mental strength (or weakness) , but show that how you think about the world affects your chance of being happy. What the hell does the term "Mentally Strong People" even mean? Having said that, I agree with the things listed. They can be learned by anyone.
Great Content man👌👌 thanks for sharing knowledge
Global Education its the best! What’s your favorite takeaway from the vid?
Whats wrong with not being mentally strong? As we get older we learn these lessons anyway. I was terribly unconfident in my twenties and not mentally strong at all, but I muddled through and learnt my lessons, and dealt with unkind and mentally unwell people, and was rejected a few times and had my heartbroken. And over time I learnt three main things, 1.Don't be so hard on yourself, we screw up. 2. Be the friend you would like to have. 3. Forgive and let go and accept that not everyone will be kind, but know that they are hurting at times too. I'm in my forties now and more patient and accepting, I'm still a work in progress, but with time you will ok. Be kind to yourself and others.
Awesome video..thanks for making
VIMU it was awesome!
I was afraid of alienating my friends back in Uni. So I hung out even if that made me uncomfortable. I’m an infj. I need to be alone sometimes to fully recharge. But my friends didn’t give me that. She always stood right next to me in every single class. Wanted to spend time outside even though I wanted to go home. So I begun to take some space between little by little. A year later I was alone in a table doing what I want with no one to bother. It was liberating. However I felt bad for acting like that to her even this day. This situation lasted for 2 years until graduation. Somehow I successfully alienated myself from the class. Then another wave of depression hit me. Informations didn’t come at the right time. I was lagging behind informations that were important. I couldn’t go back to my friends. Maybe I was using them after all. It was fun when it lasted. Now I’ve graduated. After graduation first two years felt lonesome because I was too used to being alone that I felt like an antisocial. Then I started to stop worrying about anything and just let go of myself. Duh. I gained weight but I also learned again how to communicate like a normal person. Now I feel like getting into control again because I’ve left myself free for too long. That’s how I stopped fearing loneliness and actually let go of useless thoughts. Now barely nothing amazes me. I dunno if it’s good or bad but somehow I felt good about being alone during the time when I needed the most.
Life should be enjoyable and fun.. Not being happy rotting on your own.... Everyone deserves a great life...
I felt like the message was not to feel like the world owes you anything, so it might be better to avoid thinking in terms of what we deserve.
People are rotting??
Please define "great life".
@ Jason Lee
Seriously? So Jeffrey Dahmer and Charles Manson deserve to be happy, huh? Thanks for the news. I didn't know that. 🤣🤣😂😂😂😂k
Brother I'm really thank full to you. You just changed my mind set and gives us juice of amazing books which help us a lot.
"Its not that i have what i want, but that i want what i have."
Unknown
4:31 Controll - what I can / what I can't Focus - meaning - behavior - 6:40 Parts work IFS.
God grant me the serenity..
THIS is a treasure chest of positive information. KEEPER!
Love the Idea of the "Why list" - will do this!
I have been following your vids for a long time, keep up the great work :)
FlowStateGG that’s awesome! Knowing your Why for both doing things and NOT doing things is so critical to our happiness and success!
I just checked this out from Hoopla/my library. Thanks for making this video, I think I needed it
You lost me at "...our parents quickly resolved the injustice."
My Mom taught me these simple rules; The only one that you can truly rely on is yourself. Always look for the best in others but don't waste too much time on it. It usually isn't there.
Yeah that one was a little strange.
Sounds like a wise woman.
Thanks, Nathan you are a very smart person for creating the productivity game.
They don't ghost people they are mentally mature & don't run from trouble they face it
The world is unfair, but, feel that you are being treated unfairly is normal and not a fault.
By experiencing the unfairness, you can do better to treat people more fair in the future. Just thinking that ‘the world is unfair’ and that’s it, is just accepting the condition, focus only to urself, yet, you are given a chance to improve world’s behavior.
Great content! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. Everyone should subscribe to your channel.
jonas abella agreed! 👊🏻
Very good vid! Just what needed because I had to much anxiety times just because I couldn't control everything
I just found out I'm Mentally Strong.
Go you!! I, getting there
Happened to come across your channel.....O oooh God! its a pure gold mine for principles in every field! Thank You Nathan... Please do "TRACTION " by Gino Wickman
Hm, I really don't think it works that way at all. Mentally strong simply means that you've build up some strong compensators for handling hard mental impacts whatever the compensators may be, patiently focusing on long term horizons on top of it but not expecting anything. Plus being able to see matters in prespective all the time. We've learned that things in life can come as they come, processing them balanced perspectively for moving on.
One of THE best motivational video i ever watched..Thank you for wonderful posting
Why are genders used? The use of genders were not recommended from the late 1970s on in copy writing or journalism.
BECAUSE MEN CONTRARY TO WOMEN LACK THE EVIDENCE OF BEING MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE. ... comprendes tu Geoffrey ?
Interesting. Could you please elaborate? Like give an example?
I've never disiked a TH-cam vid before, or at least never said so. Not having read Ms Moran's book, I can say nothing negative about it, but the gentleman summarizing it is certainly not speaking from his own experience. He is an Armchair Strong Person (ASP). How dare he come here and lecture us! Some of us HAVE gone through these experiences, which is how we can tell he hasn't. I'd love to hear Amy Morin's summary. If PG wanted a part, he could set up an interview to lead her to talk about her pain and her resilience in her own voice. NOT CLIFF NOTES!
American speaker: Focus on what you can control and what you can control
Other English speakers: Isn't that the same thing?
🤣
Absolutely! Thanks for the encouragement!
Was really into it until you listed feelings and thoughts as things you cant control. Over time they can surely be bridled as much as the heart or tongue. All said the whole is pretty good stuff. Thanks
That might work lots of times, but not in extreme cases though. In a book Inviting Monkey to Tea, it's said you can't always control your feelings but you can control how you feel about your feelings. I think that's deep. For example some people going through an extremely rough situation (for example, victims of repeated abuses / extreme hate crimes) can't help feeling sad or scared, it's not healthy to bottle up or force yourself to not feel anything. A healthy way is to acknowledge these sadness or fear etc., tell yourself that it's ok to feel the way they feel, see them from a 3rd person perspective / as just a matter of fact. Once the feelings are addressed and dealt with, they will subside.
These are just from my personal experience that works, yours might be different.
Really enjoyed watching this..I plan to add this book to my "to - read" list.
did you manage to read it
No. 14 write a book that implies they're mentally strong and suggesting that people who don't meet their said criteria are somehow lesser, and possibly mentally weak....
Amen, thank you
Probably one of the best channels on you tube
Thank you again !!
2:30 i dont agree with that at all!! dont compare yourself with people who are worse off than you, like you dont compare yourself with someone better off. That will just lead to shame for being depressed. You dont have to feel entitled to allow your self to feel bad. Its Ok not to be Ok. These are also legitimate emotions, mentally strong people persevere thru it- maybe with a little help from therapy.
Its not about who had it worse (or better). DONT PLAY MISERY POKER with the world. You will loose!
True. Just live and be grateful for what you have.
PS. There are so so many people who dont ever speak up about their problems because they feel that they shouldnt complain while so many others are suffering. If everyone thought like that, only one person in the world would be allowed to admit they were hurt, who ever is dying in the worst possible way. You have the right to your own pain.
Nothing would change for the better if we arent allowed to voice what is wrong in our own lives, dictators would rule and more ppl would die.
I hate that mind-set.
Its isolating and dangerous. People commit suicide because of it. Mentally strong people are the ones who can admit that they are vulnerable.
What you are going thru is important to you, and bad things can be devastating in the context of what is goin on with your life! That is why its useless to compare suffering. That doesnt mean you cant be grateful for what you Do have! But you cant move on if you supress or diminsh what is hurting you. If you are having problems, admit them
This video has come at the right time for me, Thank you for making the video
If mental health was this simple, then we wouldn't need therapists and psychologists. Nice bullet points, but please try not to take this as gospel for how to avoid depression or some wild nonsense like that. Its title should present itself as "Mental Stamina" instead of 'Mental Strength'.
I guess he forgot to mention that if you are depressed go load up on drugs from your doctor.
It is a theory if anything. A person has the power to change. The negative ideas and turn into positive concepts. You my friend are coming off like you could've written a better book. Many thinkers have proven you can be your own therapist. Do remember the crisis we are facing called covid-19. So social distancing was all the great thinkers thousands years ago. This the consequences of human behavior an or duality. This is very much like a double edge sword is sharp. However the person that holds must a expert to be skillful. This is only possible through practice and at the same time not looking for a challenger. Simply put the second amendment which says the right to bear arm. In short my fellow sentient beings. Get hold of yourselves and most of all get a grip.
Oh my goodness that is a very toxic thing to say, and also very unwise. There is strength in vulnerabilty. Flexible things bend, hard things snap. Whats natural and normal and strong is to feel, and be supported and support others. Grow and help others grow to create webs of strength. Humans wouldnt survive without the suppport and love from parents, family, and other people. I know its hard to remember that especially if you had an unkind upbringing, but its absolutely true. Healthy life shows there is a balance of soft and hard, flexibilty and structure, independence and connectivity. There is nothing weak about reaching out for support. Its part of what makes us human.
@Francisco Duran It takes a great deal of strength to go to a therapist. That means you have decided to fix something that you now know is wrong with you. You are not leaning on a therapist. Therapists help to clarify your thinking and help you make good future decisions by serving as a sounding board. You go to a therapist to find peace within yourself and trust yourself to make good and better future decisions. Therapists are trained to listen carefully and help you learn the art of critical thinking. They are healers. Weak people would not go to therapists due to fear. Strong people admit that they are not yet capable of helping themselves, so they take responsibility for their well being and future. Be kind, be focused towards your own growth, and don't hesitate to search and find help when you need it. It will make you very strong. I know. I'm 69 years old and I sought out therapists when I was 21 and went from there. Be a life-long learner and be gentle with yourself and others. You will grow into an outstanding person and your heart will be in the right place. You will become a role-model and maybe even a leader. Trust good people. Learn to trust yourself.
It's a guide. Don't over think 🤔 is a good thing to remember. Lol 😂
Speaking as someone with an anxiety disorder this is easier said than done. If people could do this easily, mental illness would not exist. But thanks for the 13 reasons why...
Rule of Capitalism #36: Never admit a mistake when there’s someone else to blame.
Did you mean a rule of socialism?
@@paullambert8701 Yeah- I had to read that twice to make sure I read that right.
that rule could apply in any system and I have experienced this from places I've worked for ( generally run by sociopaths so its a mindset of a weak person ) to cover their asses so they dont have to pay for their errors.
i have one thing to day about Amy Morin's book and this video that summarized her book: STRONG!!!!!!
mentally strong people do not take this video as fact
Thank you. I wanted to see this. Have been feeling everything is going against me lately