4 Reasons You Self Sabotage [Overcome Procrastination, Anxiety & More]
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 มิ.ย. 2024
- Whether it’s through procrastination, career, relationships, or something else, we all self sabotage in some way. Neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho explains 4 reasons you self sabotage and how to overcome them.
Buy Dr. Judy's book, "Stop Self-Sabotage" HERE: www.amazon.com/Stop-Self-Sabo...
Take Judy's Stop Self-Sabotaging quiz HERE: www.drjudyho.com/stopselfsabo...
In this episode, MedCircle Certified Educator Dr. Judy breaks down 4 reasons you self sabotage, and how to stop self sabotaging and "get out of your own way."
Plus, self sabotaging behavior isn't as obvious as you would expect - sometimes the self sabotage signs are subtle. Dr. Judy sheds light on what those hidden self sabotaging behaviors are.
Some of what Kyle and Dr. Judy cover:
- Why do we ALL self-sabotage?
- What are the biological reasons we all self sabotage - what turns on that "self sabotage switch"?
- What are the 4 reasons we self sabotage?
- What is low or shaky self concept and how does it lead to self sabotage?
- What are internalized beliefs and how do they lead to self sabotage?
- How does fear of change lead to self sabotage?
- How does excessive need for control lead to self sabotage?
- How can you reach your goals once you identify the reasons WHY you self sabotage?
Kyle and Dr. Judy's interview discussion is not just eye-opening for those proactively looking to overcome fear or how to stop self sabotaging. This chat is also eye-opening for anyone interested in personal development, self improvement, how to figure out their values, and how to reach their goals.
The What's Working show is a MedCircle Production. For more mental health and wellness advice, you can follow MedCircle on...
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How do you self sabotage, and how do you combat it?
Why can't I see the number of subscribers you have?
@@creationanomaly6026 in relationships...My friend, psychologist, pointed that out to me. She asked me Do i choose relationships which are doomed to failure...Then i started questioning myself but i didnt seem to find an answer. Why would i do that? I wouldn't?...or would i?
How do i combat it? I decided not to meet people online but only in person. But since im not social i dont seem to meet anyone. So im assuming i never will. I probably will, but who knows when. (Im 27).
Currently im seeing someone ive met on my last job, but he is 19y older than me and even though we function great together, i cant see our future because the age seems like an obstacle that will later on be more visible (60 vs 40/ 80 vs 60years old)...And that is worrying me.
Ive gone off topic but anyway....The conclusion is that i dont have a coping mechanism.
There are several tips for saving your partnership
Try to communicate more
Help each other out more
Start to give and take more
(I learned these and the reasons they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
I have self-sabotaged with my positions in IT. I either end up getting fired, or quit. I’m not sure why, I guess what I would say is that I find problems in each position instead of also seeing the pros, or the good. I’ve just been in, and out of jobs, and it’s exhausting. I think ultimately I don’t believe in myself. I know I’m intelligent, and have a lot going for me, but I lack the confidence most of the time. Not sure if anyone else can relate.
I have often had the feeling that when someone pressures me to do something I know I should do, I find myself rebelling instead of doing it just because they said I should.
But currently, I am dealing with HUGE change in my life and HUGE increases in responsibilities. I am the sole caregiver for my mother who is in early stages of dementia and my adult niece who is intellectually disabled and needs as much care as a preschooler or even more. She is also on disability and I am having difficulty with keeping up with the paperwork there. Also struggling with paperwork for my mother. I feel like I am self sabotoging there, too.
I procrastinate all the time with school, getting started with my business, some household projects, consistently working out. But I am good with consistently overloading my mind with past mistakes or future disappointments.
Im the exact same way!
Kate Hanley I declare that we are victorious in Jesus Name!
Same tho
Girl, I behave in the same way. I hate it. I want to change.
Ugh me to
I'm starting to realize my own self sabotage. I come from an extremely traumatic childhood and have just now realized I was stuck in survival mode -- avoiding danger -- with no real sense of attaining awards. I didn't think I deserved any rewards at all. It's a tough road coming out of this line of thinking in congruence with taking actual, real steps toward changing my circumstances. But can you believe I'm actually taking steps to go to grad school??? Wow. I'm terrified but still moving forward.
Continue moving forward
@@nurhayat81 Thank you. I am and will. Best wishes.
That's awesome, you got this! Best wishes.
Keep going!! Much love 💚💚
Incredibly inspiring and I hope you're doing well on your journey!
Dog has Masters degree.
😂😂😂
I needed that laugh so bad 🤣😂🤣
Probably in her tummy 🌝
Good one!@@hotpotato4023
I recognize that I procrastinate. Like I have a certification exam (which could totally level up my career)..in less than 1 week but for some reason I’m barely studying for it. I feel the block but I’m unsure why it’s here.
When the quiz asked "what do u like about urself" and I couldnt respond, that's when i realised that i need to get my life in check
When 2020 started I began with this system: I chose 6 areas of my life which I would like to improve and devote one day of the week to improve myself in one of those. For this month at least I chose:
Monday: Pleasures.
Tuesday: Academia.
Wednesday: Aesthetics.
Thursday: Body.
Friday: Temperance.
Saturday: Socialization.
Sunday: Review what happened throughout the week and prepare for the next one.
I can't say it's been perfect so far but I am making progress!
Great plan❤️
💯
How's it going with your system?
how do you execute this?
Beautiful
The pursuit of happiness is an illusion, the purpose is to be content with who you are and what you're purpose is. I self sabotage bc i dont feel worthy, therefore i work on accepting myself, knowing that with each goal met, each instance of my life Im exactly where I'm supposed to be. Everything changes, nothing is permanent. Namaste
Thank you 🙏
Agreeing with them while eating my second bag of m&m’s. 😆
That's really encouraging thanks
Haha lol I can sympathize
Once you start a pack of M&Ms you may as well finish them off. They are you rfriends. They want to be eaten. Do it! (Darth Sidious)
My relationships. Having a core belief of never being good enough always makes me think that somebody will cheat on me or leave me again for another person. So I self sabotage great relationships to protect my heart.
I’m exactly the same it’s horrible than they get sick of my shit and leave every time
I relate to this.
Yes me too!
I do not waste time , I do not take my mental emotional and physical health lightly , I pray , I am self compassionate n kind to others , all these help me stay ahead of the curve
Good for you?
"Get unstuck, so your life doesn't suck." Luv luv luv!
*You self sabotage as a result of your self image.* Your self image is like the thermostat of your results. keeping your results the same on average, be that your body weight, hygiene, income, health etc.
when you make a change at the identity level, it is much easier to take new, better actions consistently
Thanks.. next I’m researching & checking TH-cam videos on improving self-identity
Daniel, how do you make the change at the identity level ?
I don’t go to bed on time, knowing it sabotages tomorrow. 🤦🏻♀️
Me too! All. The. Timel
I don’t know why I procrastinate. I see the big picture, and I want to achieve the big picture. But I don’t feel motivated to take the baby steps that need to be taken in order to achieve the big picture. I’m bad at keeping routines. And I often make lists of things that need to be done. But sometimes I wake up, I think about everything that needs to be done, and I choose to stay in bed for as long as possible. Why do I avoid it? And so many times I procrastinate until I can no longer avoid it. And so I either scramble to do it at the last possible minute, or I just can’t get it done. I choose to do it the chaotic way, even though it’s soooo stressful.
I used to be like that but got rid of that by using subliminals which help get rid of procrastination (I played them for several days/nights straight and they acgtually over helped as I then just could not stop doing things, if I thought of something I just had to go and do it. I had to stop using them just to get more rest).
Self Sabotage is a HUGE issue for me. In my business/career I procrastinate, and constantly under deliver. I do ok at the start of a project and then somehow I shit the bed by being late with my work & unresponsive. I am talented and smart, but I have a demon inside sucking the life out of me. When I procrastinate I end up in my bed hoping that I will feel better when I wake up, but sometimes that takes days.
I sabotage my relationships in different ways, depending on the relationship. I just can't handle when things are good.
I think that deep down I just don't think I am worthy of love and success so I automatically/subconsciously destroy my chances.
I don't know how to combat this, but I keep searching for answers. I wish I could afford therapy.
I *just* had an interesting insight as I have been typing... I thought that if I loved myself enough I just wouldn't do these things, but many I need to figure out a way to stop doing these things FIRST, in order to illustrate that I love myself. Hmmmmm..... After all, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Despite my self-sabotage I'm proud to say that I do rank quite high in honesty as a value, which I think is good.
Just start saying to yourself while looking at yourself in the mirror, I love myself , over and over again. A few minutes in the morning and evening.
Watching the host heal is so amazing. He goes from a level of envy (self doubt) and moves towards an admiration and respect (higher security in himself). It's self soothing to me. I recognize pieces of my growth in such. I love being human and being fallible. We all suffer from the same human condition in various forms. Love you all! *hugs*
Number 1 value is spirituality
It’s because I didn’t know who I was for so long, that I’m clinging onto it strongly now. Maybe too much, but whose to say really, because this could be the best version of me that I will ever become
You can't change what you're not aware of...😌
My number 1 value is spirituality, 2 trust and 3 humor!!! Much love Kyle, Jydy and MedCircle!!
It took me 6 months to write this post about procrastination.
I did the quiz too: it's the first test ever on which I scored so high.😂 I'm so screwed!
We are so critical of ourselves anyway because of all the perfect pictures and stories we have been seeing on TV, Movies and Magazines...and then come along outside people who are jealous, competitive..in fact it can happen inside the house with family members also. We as people have an unsafe environment to navigate in the urban world. In villages where people don't even have electricity, I have seen children with large smiles and gleeming eyes.
I am happier alone when hiking in nature.
Your videos are so personal yet universal.
This particular video is such a wake up call to me at age 64.
My Bucket List includes facing up to my procrastination habits.
Thank you so much for your efforts to educate us and simply lead us to a much better place.
LIFE
Thanks again.
I love these interviews with all the on point, no nonsense, common sense approaches to so much information (that seems encouragingly doable!)! Lol! I got chills and had a good laugh out loud when he said "take my hand"!, I was so done I had to put this comment!! Gosh....! Me too! Take my hand,lol! Happy 21 everyone and God bless you all!!
We all self-sabotage, whenever we sense a feeling more of avoiding threats rather than attaining rewards. We're not aware of most of the thoughts but the negative emotions, because our brains filter out the thoughts. And to achieve more, we should often assess our values and be driven by them, and not only try to find out the "balance".
thank you that really helped
Love this! Number one value is not betraying value.
I'm a professional procrastinator pretty much to an art. I could open a professional course on how to procrastinate or waste money. Definitely need to find the cause and fix it
Thanks Dr. Judy
This whole video was gold and really helped me reflect on the areas where I self sabotage, but the self as a continuum concept at 21:46. I'm speechless- that is something I really needed to hear.
i quit my job today no notice, i then felt instant anxiety and ruined my career . i have very low self esteem, watched this to figure out why i do this,
Number one for me living life with contentment & gratitude
AMAZING WORK !!!!!
Thanks for sharing your knowledge🍃
share these content to the world!, the world needs it!!!!
Super helpful interview and way to hold space for your guest and their knowledge
I am the avoidance king!!! Worship me!!! I am an incredible procrastinator and underachiever. I have been doing it since me early teens...and now i'm 52. I feel i'm getting too old and tired to change my spots...
Compassion, kindness. Care
AWESOME CONTENT! Betterment is my #1 Value. 🙏❤️✨
This video definitely resonates
with me!
L.I.F.E. - I found this very helpful. I'm grateful I found this channel. Subscribed.
Keep up the great work.. bless your efforts 🙏
bless your amazing souls
I love that Callie is the host and Kyle is the co-host. I laughed way too hard!
On another note, why isn't this posed by Medcircle. I appreciate the content; I'm just curious.
Oh, I answered my own question. It's Kyle's (Ehmm, Callie's) TH-cam channel.
No, no, it's a "Medcircle Production"
definitely!!! absolutely great
This was one of the hardest things to watch I ever seen. For no other reason than the fact that so much of what there talking about hits way to fuckin close to home.
Awesome conversation, thanks so much. I’m in all area of L.I.F.E.....so I gotta get that book for a better understanding of myself.
I'm a student in my last year grad school for mental health counseling, I subscribed for research
This new version of presenting your episode is very entertaining to me.
Thank you, thank you for this exceptionally valuable and lifesaving knowledge!!!!!
Thank you ❤!!! That helped a lot
Amazing video
Fantastic! 💝
Lovely!
Finally a vid that makes sense, is applicable and to the pt
Strengthen my spirituality is my main value now. Also my family.
I have struggled with this all my life and I'm now 60 facing serious crisis in my life. It has utterly broken me.
Successful feeling too good!👍
very good book to read and take action
One of my most valuable values is Transparency
8:25 the dog is thinking: yeah, OK, but I'm in the middle of a nap, here
Kindness
Time management/procrastination!
I’ve been powering through probably too many interesting medcircle videos but this one is too relevant so it’s going in watch later until I’m ready haha
Omg such a nice puppy 🐶💜
I thought the boxes sliding in with text was my lungsss . Very good video!
Legend has it Callie has been telepathically feeding Kyle all the knowledge he speaks
I have realized that all painfully moments are still with me, its just on and off time to time. When its on i have flashbacks, so to move on i need to go through all of them once again and only then im ready to. When its off i do self-sabotage
I dont go out walk or hike any more out of fear of running into drama. Not only I stopped doing something I love my health has been affected.
Gosh brilliant I am all 4 🤷♀️ damn !!!
I appreciate the way Dr. Judy tied values (what you stand for) to priorities and decision-making. Your life will be more fulfilled as you nurture your values.
As a psychologist myself, I take baby steps and make sure that each step makes me happy as well as helps others when available. Every chore I start I make sure I finish in record time. Being thin, I grew up eating fruits and vegetables and very little meat. As a result, I've never been sick even at 70. Never even been to a doctor. Of course I also never drink, smoke, take drugs or meds. Why? Because I'm not self-destructive. I thought I made that point clear.
1.follow and respect time.
Listening to time makes life easier
Assalamoalaikom! You’re doing a very good job. 👍. I always do self sabotage otherwise i’ll get hopeless and after that I’ll get some psychological problems.
Walaykum salam
I self sabotage as part of my disorder so it's in all areas of my life and has a close relation to my crippling completion anxiety
The WHAT IFs. Speculation. Preventing better behavior. Confidence.
Top Value today: Wisdom
Truth is my value
That's me through and through
I don't use the phrase 'internalized beliefs' with my CPTSD from early life traumas and neglect. I have come to realize that as a small child, I developed ways of coping that are hardwired into my being. Sadly, as an adult I keep looking for ways to talk about these coping mechanisms and their triggers, but, in reality, when they formed I didn't have any of the adult language to think about them as a child. I was just coping and trying to survive. So, as an adult living with CPTSD, trying to understand it through words and adult means, I rarely get the deep reaction or trigger that is challenging now as an adult. So how do we tap into and allow these past traumas and coping strategies when there was no intellectual understanding at the time they formed? Just survival.
Relationships in general, intimacy to be specific.
So I watched this video and did the test.... and frankly a bit scary cause most of A-D I ticked as true.
Lately going through a self assessment of taking my life in prospective and I know I have to make a change cause currently I am on a road of self destruction.
I lack motivation and questioning my self worth thus decided to take a step in approaching professional help to get myself out of the rift I have placed myself in.
As I know because of me not dealing with my issues. It is influencing my day to day life relationship wise, professional wise, etc, etc.
Man!!! All bells ringing
I neeeeeed this! so does everyone who also has about a million emails I can't bear to look at. heheee. I just want all the newsletters
I got 4 As, 5 Bs, 3Cs, and 3Ds. How am I functioning at all?
I think the Ds are because of the Cs. And the Cs are because I've had to unwillingly relocate several times in my life due to my visa status.
For L, I kinda think the opposite in a way that if I am thinking that I am good at something, I procrastinate even more cause I have high pressure on my shoulders.
I've done the same thing. For sure.
How do I know when this is a disability. I do all these things but it's gotten to a point that affects all aspects of my life. I have a hard time keeping jobs relationships etc
So super nice guest in the show. I have such a long list of aha moments after hearing this. Self sabotage is such a b###. It affects the quality of my life and I want to get over those blocks
I try to do it on my own and get hyper focused on what I think will work not what people are trying to tell me might work
That dog bored af lolol great video tho. Needed this
Yeah the dog seems like a downer and is ill/oddly placed. Adds a level to the conversation via visual. The social distance dog.
I like this. All of it. Cheers, Kyle. You so much more than “not have diet drink” but I know what you mean.
I never used to procrastinate, but I have done this now so much since my divorce from a 45 year marriage to a malignant Narcissist. I can't seem to make the decision to stay or move back to the East. It will take so much work and I am not up to that. I am stuck in my life. I used to take these challenges and be brave, " The I'll show you ". Now it's your fear of change being alone. I am also a type A. I used to be in control of parts of my life, now old age and my body is in control. I will probably score high on all in the quiz now.
I think sometimes it just boils down to good old fashioned laziness. Sometimes I just don't feel like it/have the energy to do this or that so I put it off. I'm working on it though.
What is your view on anti depressant meds? I'm on 40 mg of Prozac.
I
HEY MANN,HOW CAN I GET AS CHILLED AS THE DOG,
Fear of change fear of the unknown. Got it! Right on the money! A Lot of past trauma resulted in this fear. My subconscious kicked realization of this back to consciousness. Now to deal with it and keep it in check. #LIVEBESTLIFE
When you get 100% on low/shakey self concept lol...
Came for mental health topics.
Stayed for Callie.
@Lala
The dog being treated like a piece of furniture? Poor dog. Worst idea ever whoever thought of putting this dog through this video after video. Very cruel.
Myself
I haven't had a diet coke yet and it's 2pm 😂 damn you i was doing so well too 🖤🖤