Why I Was Afraid to Disclose My ADHD (ft. Dr. Patrick LaCount)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
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Today we're interviewing Dr. Patrick LaCount -who didn’t feel comfortable disclosing his ADHD diagnosis as an ADHD researcher. This is what masking ADHD through academia was like for him.
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Hey, it's Patrick. I wanted to hop on and let you know that I've been reading all of your comments and am overwhelmed by your love, stories, and supportive notes. You really know how to get a guy in the feels. I've bookmarked this video to keep me motivated and boost my spirits on tough days. You all have given me an incredible gift--thank you 🥹
When it came time for me to get my diagnosis (at age 42) I picked my psychiatrist because he had ADHD.
I chose well. He is passionate about his work and patients. He uses “we” and “us.” Working with him, I feel like a whole person instead of a problem that needs to be fixed.
Working in an area that you have a connection to doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
P.S. Props to your mama! ; - D I'm glad you got an encouraging one! ❤
My therapist also thinks he probably has ADHD but is also feeling like you did about the professional implications so he never got a diagnosis but he is the only therapist I’ve ever actually clicked with!
On another note I’m currently working on my biology BA and it’s hard because I’m kinda isolated due to living far away so I don’t have any study groups but I know I will manage 💪🏻
I am currently doing a research project on ADHD and giftedness in the classroom, specifically how gifted students will go without a diagnosis and struggle as a result. I am curious if you can either speak to this or have research that would help in this endeavor!
Brother, perhaps some insight on why you hid your diagnosis from even people like the host of this channel: When we do something for so long, it becomes a part of us and how we process/act within the world. It becomes a 'thing I do,' and after a while becomes reflexive. Each of us is maintaining a wall to some degree, and part of yours is hiding your ADHD, a skill which served a purpose at one time which you thought to be precious---for better or worse---when you began to act that way. I have my own versions of this and thinking of them this way helps me find perspective without the self-judgement I've been prone to for most of my life. Best wishes in your journey forward!
“Not ADHD enough” is definitely a mood for those of us who brute forced our way through some kind of post-grad/professional degree.
mfa stage design here ... but never knew i had adhd.
Yep. Always did well in school, but it was absolute chaos behind the scenes.
I'm in two programs right now and totally drowning but pushing through. I'm in my doctorate program rn along with a certification program. This has been sooooooooooo stressful.
I barely survived my Master's in math, and omg the "not ADHD enough" internalized shame is still so strong.
Med student….. yes. Totally
It's quite disheartening to hear that even at places where ADHD is studied, people with ADHD are discriminated against, support options are not considered, and we only focus on the potential negative sides. How great would it have been if the response would have been: "I'm sure we can support him/her with potential roadblocks, and it's actually great to have someone on the team with associative out of the box thinking."
As Patrick also described, I think its a problem with ableism in academia as a whole... you need to always present yourself as this superhuman figure who has the ideas, the drive, the follow-through, gets the grants and publishes the papers. So masking any issues you might have is part of the unofficial job description, even though its unrealistic and unhealthy even for most neurotypical people. As an academic you are building your brand and trying to sell your unique intellectual ability, so you avoid any suspicion that your brain may not be up to the task.
Yes, and I've been grappling with this as a teacher myself. I'm in Education, not necessarily "academia." I don't do studies and try to earn money for a research team or anything like that, but I do write grants for my school and I do work with hundreds of students and dozens of other teachers, principals, admin, support staff, etc., on a daily basis.
I've told a handful of people, but I have been toying around with the idea of doing a PD (Professional Development) presentation on it. I know the struggles these kids face, and I want to present myself as a specialist who can really tap into the minds of these children because I know first-hand what they need and I know first-hand their struggles.
What are we teaching these kids if we show them that their diagnoses make them unemployable adults? No. I refuse to sit back and let that happen. I want to help be the catalyst for change in the adult professional world.
Thank you so much for opening up about ADHD in academia! I was diagnosed half way through my doctorate (!). When I first brought this up to my psychiatrist he dismissed it, saying "No way you have ADHD. You're half way through your PhD program! You're just exhausted; get some sleep." Then I asked my therapist to help me out, and lucky us - she also has ADHD. This meant that she knew what kinds of questions to ask in order to get me to UNMASK during our sessions. So instead of asking: "Do you struggle with homework?" (which is such a vague question), she would ask: "Do you struggle GETTING STARTED on tasks that require multiple steps?" Whoa. What a difference that question made. Eventually my therapist wrote a letter to my psychiatrist, who eventually prescribed Adderall, and is now (finally) convinced that I have ADHD based on how well I'm doing in my every day life. THAT BEING SAID, I still struggle to finish my doctorate. However, I've disclosed it to my school, and know what to ask of my professors (i.e. mini progress deadlines throughout the semester instead of a final deadline for the final project, which will never get done). I wasn't afraid to disclose my diagnosis with my school or with my boss. However, my family still can't accept it. They still think ADHD is just "a western excuse for laziness" :)
the fact that your therapist asked do you struggle with getting started on tasks that require multiple steps shows me this therapist understands
I hope he reads these comments....
Because he's EXACTLY the healthcare professional we need. I was diagnosed at 27 as a student pursuing an engineering degree. And I can identify with 95% of what his experience has been, my difference is I tell/ told everyone after I was diagnosed. But can definitely understand the stigmatized perception of his field.
I shared this with him. It meant a lot. Thank you so much! He was super nervous about putting this out!
💯 Psychiatrist told me, "I can tell you do NOT have ADHD.” after reviewing my background of achievement, and ZERO diagnostics (her 1st words, no questions/conversation). I did not want to be ADHD but I did want the truth… others have confirmed an earlier tentative diagnosis of ADHD by a clinical psychiatrist who (modestly) acknowledged she was not qualified to offer a definitive diagnosis.
I was so relieved my therapist immediately looked at me and said “you’re classic presentation [female] ADHD!” High achieving, overladen with extra activities (I was grad school president while getting my Ph.D) with tons of stress-related issues… gee. I just had no idea this was a way ADHD could present - or what masking looked like. 🤦♀️
Absolutely, what a great encouragement for his patients and for everybody watching this!
I was masking through my undergrad and didn't know it until years later. I got excellent grades by burning my mental and physical health to a dangerous level. I cannot imagine taking the "just work harder" mentality through multiple degrees. Dr. LaCount is truly an academic warrior.
I really relate to not feeling “ADHD enough.” I kinda thought I had it for most of my life but at the same time felt like I wasn’t “bad enough” to count as ADHD. I struggled with focus and worked twice as long to get things done but my life wasn’t a disaster so I thought maybe I’m just bad at doing stuff. When I started hearing more about it and really identifying with the struggles I told my mom I thought I had it and she said “You can’t have ADHD! You got a PhD.” Several people have expressed surprise or incredulity. Between masking and running myself into the ground I managed to be reasonably successful but struggle so much. I finally got diagnosed at 40 but I still bounce between questioning my diagnosis and frustration that it shouldn’t be this hard to empty the dishwasher or take four hours to grade a few papers.
We need to talk about the mindset that says acknowledging limitations is weak or making excuses. I know parents intend to inspire their children to great things but it backfiresby robbing those children of the opportunity to be their authentic selves. It can drive them to burnout, substance abuse, and even suicide.
Thank you Dr. Patrick for sharing your experience with us.
There's a fine line between acknowledging limitations as a problem to work around (and solve, if possible) vs. using them as an excuse. If I am to do this it will be more difficult and I need to do X, Y, and Z (which most other people don't need to do) to make it happen vs. "I can't."
@@jliller sometimes "I can't" is the acknowledgment and not an excuse. "I can't come in to work today because I'm having a flare up of my ulcerative colitis," is a valid limitation and not an excuse. I know a young woman who had dropped out of university because her cancer treatments have left her too exhausted to cope. It is not an excuse eventhough other people dealing with cancer have not had to drop out. Everyone's situation is unique to them. We need to stop judging people.
Yes. This is a new way of thinking. Something that this channel is trying to promote and Dr. Patric is a success story. I know Jessica feels surprised and maybe a bit disappointed that he didn't come forward sooner but it just speaks to the power of the old mindset.
@@roadrunnercrazy I'm not seeing cancer and ADHD as an apt comparison.
"We need to stop judging people."
When people stop making excuses and faking problems (see "emotional support animals") then we can stop judging.
I hear you. What makes neurotypical academics think they have objectivity, though? The same argument could be applied to them for not having experience personally with ADHD. The rigid and shaming part of academia has always been off-putting.
As a professor with ADHD I feel this struggle so much.
One of my professors kept making fun of his own ADHD. I realized he was describing my life which is why I got diagnosed in my late thirties. So many questionable life decisions got partially explained during that process.
As a Patrick who is ADHD and doing his dissertation, I appreciate this so much. Thank you for sharing with us!
Stick with it. You'll finish.
Not a Patrick, but doing my dissertation (for far too long already), looking to get assessed for ADHD. A while ago when I questioned again if I could actually have it, I literally googled "ADHD as PhD possible"... so this was exactly the video I needed for some assurance that having dropped out of college is not a requirement for an ADHD diagnosis, even though many doctors still seem to think so. Also, best of luck with your thesis!
@@JoHouse533 One day we're gonna be free [of these dissertations!]
I still keep my diagnosis to myself. Instead I usually just tell people what I need or what I struggle with, without calling it ADHD.
I tried that but there's always that one person that's going to make the faux pas to ask what my diagnosis is....what do you answer to that?
that's great when you know specific accommodations to request, that are actually helpful to you when available. glad you have that info, and i hope it continues to serve you well. really.
@@DeeLuscious I try to make it a mutual gain. Partly because of ADHD, I also have qualities that are very valuable for my job. But I’m not good at time and people management (I also loathe it). Yet most of the time there’s a young ambitious colleage that is more than willing to fulfill that particular role for me, so I can focus on my better qualities. People don’t see that as me asking for an accomododation. So no one ever asks me about diagnoses.
The idea that studying what you have is biased is such a strange concept to me. Our realities as ADHD'ers have always been skewed by neurotypical interpretations. I think it is vital that we have ADHD'ers in the field who know what the experience is like. Plus, the idea that we can be unbiased in social sciences is a questionable one. I think it is better to assume subjectivity and strive for intersubjectivity to get the whole picture. Humans are not dry data, and humans can't study other humans as objective agents. You are always a part of the society you live in. Someone without ADHD who studies ADHD will have other biases.
Yes! Thank you.
Exactly!
Wouldn't a more ideal research team for mental health conditions include people with the condition, people without the condition, and even people who have a different condition which can be confused with the first condition? As in doing a thorough examination akin to a differential diagnosis to capture the full nuance of the condition itself.
I had the same thought. What a recipe to ensure that you unintentionally misunderstand, stigmatize, or even erase the experiences of the people you study...
I just assume every ADHD expert has ADHD. Why else would you find it so interesting and want to devote so much time to it? This is largely my own projection because I struggled with ADHD my whole life and when I finally learned the tools and strategies to overcome my challenges I am so inspired to share and help others.
Some experts have children, friends, partners, etc with adhd.
@@Aranoura Oh true. Daniel Amen's wife has ADHD and I think that inspired his book on the topic.
A lot of them don’t. They don’t know the suffering from the stigma from being called mentally ill or “Neuro divergent. “
When the euphemisms sound euphemistic, it’s time to stop
@@richardleetbluesharmonicac7192 I too noticed that a lot of experts do not have ADHD. Euphemisms, too true! What I perceive when the euphemisms start flying is a cold, detached even smugly superior attitude. While I appreciate the research that the experts bring to the subject-- and especially any helpful/useful tools that come from it -- I find many of the experts, especially those who do not have ADHD, to be very very difficult to listen to or to read their books.
Some seem to be a bit lifeless and boring to me. Others try to empathize but fall short. Still others I have encountered (either via TH-cam or in person) can't seem to contain their rather smug and superior attitude (again the euphemisms, and just the overall way they approach the subject). Some seem to try not to be smug or superior. But I think they are driven by that superiority complex to "fix" us. There's almost a condescending "pity" that some ADHD experts exude. Am I projecting stuff? Maybe. But, without a double-blind test or the like to challenge my hypothesis, I would just ask the following: Why is it that some experts come off as smug and others do not? Correlation does not equal causation. True. But... I suspect that there is at minimum a correlation between an expert in ADHD who also has it, and the ability to communicate ADHD research and strategies to us "lay people" without coming off as smug or paternalistic.
Well when I first learned about it from the WIRED article back in the day, and recognized myself in that article, I followed up with the early books written by Drs. Ed Hallowell and John Ratey, and Thom Hartmann. I appreciated their internal understanding, in the way it informed their writing deeply. I see in other responses here that other expert writers have family members with ADHD, and I get how that can be an inspiration and a source of deep empathy and understanding for those writers. I feel that deep personal connection is really valuable.
I've had people tell me I don't have ASD. That's hard. People are usually surprised when I tell them I have ADHD, too, but I've experienced the most doubt over my ASD. My dad believed “labels” like ADHD or ASD were belittling, and provided an excuse. I had to get past that too. It took me until Grad School to officially get diagnosed, but I'd known for a while.
Unfortunately, the autism community has contributed to the public perception of ASD because they're so focused on low-functioning children. And if the big autism advocate organization don't know/care how why would the general public have clue?
Being intelligent and having ADHD is difficult since one can pass off as being somewhat normal to the untrained eye, especially if one's presentation is mostly inattentive and one's case isn't too severe. The negative attitude towards the medication used to treat the disorder doesn't help the matter either. I don't tell people because it's often passed off as personality differences or there's no way I could have it because I'm too smart. My parents are in denial to this day. They've tried to pass off my problems as depression or divorce related trauma even since I was a young child.
Stereotypes can have a strong impact on how someone perceives you. In my senior year in high school, I was voted as the "Class Bookworm", yet I can count the number of books I've "read" on one hand (using the term "read" loosely).
I didn’t learn that I had ADHD until after my grown daughter was diagnosed. It helped me understand so much of my past. I was already out of the workforce. I’m an RN. The last time I tried to work I self disclosed, after being hired, that I had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). They let me go after only 2 months! God forbid a nurse have a genetic disease!
Well, nursing is a physically demanding job and from what I've read, both of those syndromes can impact your physical performance quite dramatically. I don't know how it was in your case, but going from what I know NOW, your hospital may have been right to let you go if it seemed like you could not perform your job adequately, your job includes a high responsibility for vulnerable people. You may just be putting unfair expectations on yourself, I mean, you wouldn't demand from somebody with a propensity for heart attack to work in a hot warehouse, right?
Shame though that they didn't offer some sort of accommodation or anything, just letting you go sounds like bad negotiating on their part.
@@Nala15-Artist some nursing roles are differently physically demanding than others, from what i've heard. it might not have been about inability to do the work reliably and well, though of course that's typically basically impossible to prove.
I wish my own mother was more like you. She too is a medical professional and I'm 110% sure she has ADHD, she's even worse than me on some symptoms. Yet she cannot accept my diagnosis because if there was something "wrong" with me, that would mean there is something "wrong" with her too. Therefore she has to deny and reject, even though I too have a genetic condition where ADHD is significantly more common and even though her brother was such a stereotypical ADHD child even she admits he probably has it.
@@ozok17 I work in healthcare, and yes, this can be true to a point. However, stress is a strong factor of the job no matter your role. And that can be just as physically taxing as actual labor. And yes, and I'd say even more so with two months only, how well or poorly the ability to work well might have been affected is very difficult to prove.
@Lady Sara I'm sorry you went through that! As someone who also has ADHD and Ehlers-Danlos (and orthostatic hypotension) it can be so dispiriting that some employers consider the minor inconvenience of providing basic accommodations too much trouble (even though it's the LAW and basic human decency). - If you haven't seen it yet, there's some promising research suggesting a possible role of mast cells in some cases of h-EDS that might interest you as an RN (see below). Wishing you well! ❤ : - )
Hasty list--please forgive the fragments and any typos!
- "Some cases of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome may be rooted in mast cell activation syndrome"
Special Issue: Ehlers‐Danlos syndromes, Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders, and Associated Co‐Morbidities:
December 2021
- A researcher from the Norris Lab at MUSC studying genetic markers for hypermobile EDS mentioned that the rodents in the study showed mast-cell-like signs
- EDS expert Dr. Clair Francomano has successfully reduced EDS symptom load even in some EDS patients withOUT overt allergic signs with over-the-counter allergy meds
- "Mast cells crucial to causing osteoarthritis" [possibly also an explanation for hypermobility "flares" in EDS?]
Stanford Medicine
"Mast cells - infamous for secreting allergy-triggering chemicals - also secrete a cartilage-degrading enzyme. Blocking mast cell development, or the activity of the enzyme, protected mice from osteoarthritis in a Stanford study."
- "Recurrent venous thrombosis in Ehlers-Danlos syndrome type III: an atypical manifestation" [I suspect it may be more typical than they think.]
BMJ Case Rep. 2013
- A hematologist working with neurosurgeon and EDS expert Dr. Fraser Henderson reported a higher-than-average percentage of h-EDS and classical EDS patients had blood markers suggesting a propensity for blood clotting.
- Mast cells are found in endothelium and play a role in clot formation
- "Common allergy drugs may prevent blood clots"
Medical News Today
"Deep vein thrombosis is a dangerous yet preventable condition. Conventional treatment poses a serious risk of bleeding, but a new study offers hope for a different therapeutic approach and prevention strategy."
- "Mast cell disorders in Ehlers-Danlos syndrome"
Volume175, Issue1
Special Issue: The Ehlers‐Danlos Syndromes: Reports from the International Consortium on the Ehlers‐Danlos Syndromes
March 2017
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a 35 year old adult. I think a lot about my mom too, as I’m quite certain my mom had ADHD as well-she died of suicide 6 years ago, from complications of depression, prescription medication addiction, and I think the wrong medication and diagnosis for her mental health struggles. She was a such a strong person, accomplished so much with “brute force.” I grieve for her, that she couldn’t have gotten the correct diagnosis in her lifetime. Even tho my diagnosis came way after school, and later than what would have been helpful, I’m still so thankful I have that diagnosis.
Immense respect for him talking about this. You can see the vulnerability, and I resonate so much with keeping quiet because my mind amplifies the possibility of rejection from others.
Not ADHD enough, I feel that.
I got my diagnosis a week ago and whilst this outcome wasn't unexpected I still don't really know how I feel about it. I'm 38 years old and because I've made it this far in life without being diagnosed, part of me feels like I'm making it an issue or excuse for finding life challenging. Although in reality I am gaining self awareness and understanding of myself. Thanks for sharing this video.
I really thought I'd be singing my diagnosis from the rooftops but now I have it I haven't really shared. I know I will share but I'm not sure why I feel so weird about it when I was certain I had an ADHD brain anyway. I would have been really shocked if I had been told I didn't have ADHD 🤦🏻♀️
Same I knew I had something just diagnosed at 34yr
I relate to your experience but probably due to temperament I'm taking the opposite approach: I'm shouting it from the rooftops to convince myself to believe the evidence. I keep gaslighting myself into thinking the diagnosis is wrong and I'm just back on my BS of making excuses for things that are hard. Solidarity, it's a tough process. I'm 43, found out at 40.
It's okay to communicate it as little or as much as you need. ❤ No right way or rush to disclose! Especially if you have a sense it may be used to harm you somehow. You learning about yourself is likely already helping you show up in your spaces in a better and more impactful way, even without naming this part of you explicitly. You're in the driver's seat and can share whenever and however you want.
And I feel you completely on the fear that I'm making excuses for myself. I worried about that a lot while seeking a diagnosis and then soon after getting it. The fear still pops up sometimes, but it's growing quieter a couple years after diagnosis. I'm 32 now. I can confidently reassure you that our ADHD brains are a reason, not an excuse. And you got this ☺️ 👍🏼
I also want to commend Patrick for putting it out there as well. I am a newly diagnosed ADHD PhD student who went 38 years without knowing that's what I had. Still trying to wrap my mind around it, but the talk about the judgement in academia is already a worry of mine. I have talked about it with my advisor and he's already mentioned it to others about him being worried about me doing this. He automatically forgot I had a successful master's level faculty position for 8 years prior to coming back to school.
It's really sad. I've gone through similar situations. It's like they suddenly believe that you can't accomplish anything or for example, I've been asked how did you graduate if you have ADHD? My advice is, don't listen because you know yourself better than anyone. Don't let their doubts become your doubts. Show them you're more than your diagnosis.
Patrick’s “tell me I can’t do something.. I’ll crush it… I might be barely breathingn at the end.. but I will show you.”
Is my: “I’ll do it and I’ll finish the task… I’ll struggle with it on my own… but I’ll get it done. It will be done.”
Probably why, I personally feel so tired and burnt out when finishing tasks.. and I almost always feel like “I never want to go through that again.”
Acceptance is hard especially when you’ve been masking unknowingly for the longest time… thank you for sharing your story.. I feel less alone in my journey.
I empathize with so much of this story. To anyone watching this and reading the comments like I did, (re)thinking about whether academia has a place for their ADHD self, I can at least say that a career is possible (but the burnout is very real). I have a hard time being most of my authentic self as Faculty, but I am always open about my ADHD. My hope is that my example keeps someone who is struggling from giving up, as academia could definitely use a bit more neurodivergence. ADHD can be a superpower, and no one should have to hide it.
So long as you have someone to be authentic with. You don't need to overshare with other faculty or coworkers. i found out early in life that just because your coworkers are "friendly," doesn't mean they are true friends. You met them at work, you get along with them because of the importance to do so when you work together. but you met them at work, and it's very likely that the job still comes first for them. So be aware that your "work friends,," because of the need to bond and be friendly with them, aren't the same as the friends you've had over the years. Unfortunately,, you won't know if they are true friends until you leave that work and move on. If they remain in contact with you AFTER the need to be friendly is gone, there might be a real friendship there.
I was undiagnosed until after I graduated. I white knuckled my way through college, finished my master’s in Creative Writing two years ago. I never felt understood during writing workshops, often not understood by professors. I couldn’t keep up with writing journals, rarely finished books, and wrote 20 page essays the night before they were due.
My favorite part of the program was being able to teach, but my contract ended. I’m still recovering from burnout, working a low income job that doesn’t use my degree, getting rejected from every teaching position I apply for. And I barely read or write even though I thought it was my passion 😕
7:55 ADHD doesn't define what you *can* do, it explains why you do some of the things you do. It's not an excuse, it's the thing to acknowledge so that it can be worked around.
"oh this is why I act this way in this situation, now I can come up with an alternative strategy to get the same thing done, just in a different way"
To me, someone studying/researching/treating/counseling ADHD who actually has ADHD has far more credibility and more valuable insight than one who doesn't. Nothing helps a helper better than firsthand experience. But big academia holds appearances and formal credentials to be much more important than knowledge acquisition and creation, and useful, practical outcomes. It's heartening to see that this paradigm has begun to shift in the past decade or so, but there's still a lot of better left to do.
I understand his annoyance when his gf would say, "Well, you do have ADHD" when he would struggle with something. When people learn you have ADHD, they can start to attribute any issue you're having with your ADHD, instead of the fact that you're also a human being and as such will from time to time make mistakes or have struggles. But I also understand what she might have been trying to convey - don't beat yourself up about it, accept yourself and find ways to work with what you have.
This is so incredibly easy to relate to and helpful to hear. I got my PhD with ADHD, too. I'm part of the generation that came of age during the time that "hyperactivity" was a new diagnosis, and lots of people thought it was just a fancy new excuse for being lazy and undisciplined. I still hesitate to tell people my age or older.
As a med student with a recent adhd diagnosis…. I felt it.
Look forward to watching it.
When he spoke about not feeling like he could freely talk about his ADHD because he felt he didn't have it severely enough, that hit home quite hard for me. For several years now, I've been suspecting I have ADHD. I didn't get myself tested because I feel like I found sufficient ways to deal with it so I don't think I need to, but that also sort of feels invalidating in a way. Who am I to say out loud that I think I have ADHD because I have trouble focussing sometimes? It almost feels insulting to suggest I'm going through the same sort of hardships as people who obviously struggle with much greater problems than I do.
Thank you, dr. LaCount, for speaking so frankly. It helps me sort out my own thoughts and doubts, and that is really valuable to me right now.
I resonate with the “not ADHD enough”. I made it through a bachelors degree, medical school, and halfway through my MBA degree program before I sought help and got diagnosed. I fought through my concerns being dismissed by two different clinicians. I still struggle regularly with the thought of whether I truly have it but it always comes back to yes.
Thank you for being so open about this. Feeling like you're not "ADHD enough" is sadly a very relatable experience. It's basically advanced Imposter Syndrome. Often it's made worse by the fact that you're told "There's nothing with you. You're just lazy".
completing my PhD with undiagnosed, quite bad ADHD, teaching as part of my funding and looking for a job. the only problem is, that dissertation ain't writing itself. oh, and I don't have a life.
Can I just say how much I appreciate this as a grad student? I just made the decision to get diagnosed officially to let my professors know why I am falling behind. I have an appointment in 3 weeks. I have the symptoms of ADHD but I have been afraid to get diagnosed because I dont want the medication. However, I want to be successful in my courses. Since last year, I have been especially struggling. However, I am not sure if my professors will understand my problems or if classmates will treat me differently or look for different cues. I feel like my mind is in a headlock most of the time.
I will say, I originally got my diagnosis after deciding to go back to school for my master's degree, after 15 years away. I had not intended to pursue medication, I just wanted to be able to access any assistance that might help me succeed more easily than I had with my BA. I did decide to give meds a chance, though, and it makes SO much difference for me. I feel much more able to focus, and though it's not a magic solution, it's still WAY better than trying to struggle through grad school without it. I can, and have, managed without medication at times, but I'd definitely recommend at least giving it serious consideration.
I agree that I would try medication. I tried it with the attitude that "I can always stop if I want to, but I will try it." It was the first time that I have gotten A's on my midterms in my entire life. I went from being a C student to an A or B+ student. It was such a HUGE difference for me. I remember reading the tests, and for the first time I was like "oh I understand what the question is trying to ask me for once, so now I could actually answer it correctly." I could answer it correctly because I could finally decipher what the heck the question was actually trying to ask me. I did not change how I was studying, I was just finally able to read the question. Life forever changed.
I got tired of rereading pages in my physics text book over and over and not being able to maintain focus long enough to understand relativity simple concepts. I went from wondering how I was going pass to getting a good grade and in the process I discovered one of my favorite subjects. Now I’m thinking about a graduate degree in physics even though I got an engineering degree. Medication was key.
A huge thank you to Patrick for opening up and being so vulnerable! It was incredibly helpful, especially since I haven't been "fully" diagnosed and the first question is always, "How did you do in school?" I was brilliant except homework would take me 4x longer than it should or I'd rush through it in the few minutes before class started and be burned out constantly. And this was one of the few times I felt validated, so thank you 💜
I was diagnosed at 42 years old. My boss is a wonderful and understanding person and I was still afraid to tell him that I was diagnosed with ADHD. For some reason I had this idea that the years of good work that I had done would be superseded by a diagnosis. I did tell him and he just went, "okay".
Good on ya Doc! The "excuses" and "not ADHD enough" resonated hard. Welcome to the openly-ND ranks of the Tribe :)
This video was so validating!
I'm currently in a phase of "rebalancing my work-life balance." It's great because I'm much less anxious, but it's hard because I'm not getting neaely as much work done as I did before. I was working 60 hours a week just to do what I thought I should be doing in 40 hours.
PhD student, adult diagnosed here. Struggled through my life. Still struggling. Our group is 100x more friendly than academia usually is. My supervisor knows, I told him, he's supportive. Told another senior researcher who does some work on ADHD children (not her main field). She said "oh you don't have adhd". I don't know how I feel about it, but I shut my mouth about it in front of any senior researcher since then.
But I want to be open about it. I feel it's the only thing that can move things forward in a better direction, that people like me, who are lucky enough to be able to speak about it, speaks about it.
I was raised with the same mindset, "do the thing, whatever it takes". I spend so much more time trying to catch up with emails and planning and organizing so that I can even do my (academic) job. It's exhausting. I managed to get through my PhD and only got dx'd 4 years into university teaching position. When I told my boss in passing, he gave me a funny look then shrugged. My students really really do appreciate my opened about my AuDHD though.
'Not ADHD enough'
That's what's keeping me from actively persuing a diagnosis
Thank you for being brave and sharing your diagnosis with us! We don't think any less of you, and in fact, I bet you'll help inspire so many people here!
I've known about my ADHD since childhood and it was kinda just understood, because it was comorbid with my Tourette's. But when I was diagnosed with autism a few years ago (at 40 years old!), suddenly so many things had context that they didn't have previously.
I totally empathise Dr Patrick's feelings. I'm glad he disclosed and became more confident too.
It was because of creators like you, Jess that I became more confident to address my neurological needs with my doctor and my workplaces. It's made me a better practitioner and spoken word artist. Thank you for the courage you give people
10:00 "out run or out work the ADHD"
So often Jessica absolutely nails the situation with comments like this.
Aw thank you 🥰 I love that you saw that. I’m still new to interviewing people and feeling out how much to listen/talk so I appreciate the encouragement!
I was diagnosed in 2021 at age 33. I was immediately open and truthful about it to everyone. I faced extreme prejudice at work from management to the point where it was such a toxic environment that I felt obligated to quit... on christmas eve. I connected with a coworker who also had ADHD, then accidentally outed him to others, which ruined our relationship, and the last semblance of normalcy in that place before I left. I guess the point I am trying to make is that it is a double-edged sword, as it can be freeing to share and learn about it, but it can hurt your relationships and career.
It doesn't reflect well on psychology that a bunch of doctors studying ADHD couldn't detect it in their own colleague. And, it makes sense. Like, if they're systematically ignoring the first-person perspective, they're not going to understand the people they study.
I have adhd and bpd. I find it easier to tall people that I have adhd, but not bpd.
I am thinking to start a channel as well but about bpd, yours is sooo good!. However, I'm afraid to publicly having to tell to anyone that I have this. At work nobody knows.
I think there's less of a stigma about ADHD than about personality disorders.
I was diagnosed with ADHD late in life after grad school, and had it first brought up in therapy while in grad school; and even though I related to others with adhd I told myself I couldn't have it. I was finishing up grad school, I was a straight A honors student, so how? It wasn't until after my worst burn out depression at the beginning of the pandemic that I started accepting it more and got an official diagnosis.
Such a great interview and thank you Patrick LaCount for being willing to share your story! As a 49-year-old who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, it was helpful to hear a thoughtful discussion about the added anxiety that surrounds disclosure. In my limited experience, I'm finding it has mostly been positive and helpful for the people around you to know your struggles so they could potentially better understand you. I'm a graphic designer/musician/DJ. In those creative worlds, my ADHD has been widely accepted and in fact, has made for new connections with others who also struggle with ADHD or other neurological conditions. However, I can now look back at some other situations in my life where perhaps revealing my struggles could have hindered my efforts. I can totally understand Patrick's reluctance to let folks know. That why it's so important that we find the right kinds of spaces and people that accept our true selves and are down to foster our growth. Otherwise, it is so exhausting to try to maintain the appearance of being as productive as everyone else can seem to be.
Welcome to the loud and proud club! I 100% understand this feeling that you couldn’t be ADHD enough to deserve any support because you’re in grad school. I went through educational testing as a Ph.D student teaching 2 classes a semester because I was hoping to get audiobooks to help manage the 4 or more books I was expected to read each week. The woman who tested me accused me of malingering because I could not possibly have had such an impairment and been able to be successful in grad school.
As someone who has ADHD and getting a PhD it’s really nice to see others like me 🥰💜
Thank you for sharing. ❤ I hid my child's ADHD from family members because I didn't want him to be judged. I get it.❤
It is pretty weird that he didnt mention it waaaaay sooner but we have to respect his decision to not disclose. Everyone deserves the opportunity to “come out when their ready” so to speak.
Patrick: I think it's a BONUS for you to have the thing you're studying (at least for the people you will help)! I know it's a faux pas in academia but I can't tell you how invalidating a therapist without adhd can be, even if they supposedly specialized in adhd. You have it, so you get it. You will have extra insight into whatever you are studying or whoever you are helping, and I think that gives you an advantage even if older institutional academics can't see that.
Running away from your adhd is very relatable...and it never ends well, unfortunately. It's like running away from yourself.
internalised ableism is so hard. academia especially pathologises a lot of what it studies in the name of "objectivity". thankfully the importance of lived experience is finally being understood.
Thanks for this great interview. I have really felt the cost of succeeding as well. I thought "trying my best" meant depriving myself of sleep, etc. to get the job done. In the end I've had to learn that it's not worth it to sacrifice my mental or physical health to achieve academic/work goals. Great content as always!
Your Superpower is being Solution-Driven!! Keep doing the work Self-Actualization is Self-Care!! Embrace and Much Strength to you!!
It's the big-time masking for me. ... ouff... me so much.. even now. The, "don't tell me I can't do this", attitude really will get you burnt out... you will get some great stuff done.. but at what coast? I feeeeeeel you on this so much!! Thank you for sharing!
I only got my ADHD diagnosis in my last year of undergrad and even now so many years later I still doubt it because it feels like an excuse for why I struggled with procrastination and low motivation, rather than an explanation.
I some how managed to get two bachelors degrees in college and work a full time job (12 years to get both degrees). I don't really ever talk about my ADHD with anyone. I go out of my way to not talk about it. Most people don't know I have it. Some of the reasons Dr. LaCount gives are similar to mine. Shame is a major one. I don't want sympathy is another major one. I don't want people thinking of me differently, nor do I want people to start treating me different. Another reason I don't talk about my ADHD is, even though I'm 41, I don't like having ADHD. I want a cure. I want to be like the people who don't have ADHD. I don't want my ADHD to define me. I hate every bit of it, always have. I don't know if I'll ever accept it.
Your comment just broke my heart a bit :( on the one hand, I feel similar sometimes, on the other hand (during good moments) I do like how ADHD doesn't allow me to ever get stuck in a life that is just so-so, I MUST do things I really enjoy and MUST always keep working on myself just for survival. It's exhausting, but also somehow special.
But of course that is just my personal experience and I have no idea what you went through. And generally I do hope treatment options will improve in the future!
but you must accept it, embrace and love your authentic self with ADHD. You don't have to share your diagnosis (especially with people from your parents generation). Please realize if you hate that part of you, you will raise children who hate the less attractive parts of themselves, as well. I imagine you wish people weren't so judgmental or so ignorant. Please remember, change begins with you, your generation needs to see better, be better so society is eventually better. 😃
Thank you so much for sharing your experience in academia!! I'm getting my PhD right now (in physics) and I relate to this so much. I was diagnosed when I was little, but didn't really start treating it until after COVID (mostly because I was able to get by through most of college and didn't really feel like I needed to). I've tried being open about it with my advisors and even though they're wonderful and understanding...I still feel like I'm struggling to live up to the expectations of academia. It really feels like my choices are to fall behind or fall behind but working 24/7. And I feel like I can't really complain about it because everyone struggles in grad school and it was just very validating to hear your experience!
You know the symptoms, you probably can recognize other students with ADHD. I would choose those people, your peers, to share with and "complain" to. They will understand and sympathize with you. You just may have to work 24/7 to get through school (although i suggest getting a therapist who can help you to learn coping strategies), but most of the adult "real world" won't require the kind of pressure that academia does. You will find your place professionally that suits you the way you are. Hang in there and try to begin to get comfortable with your "label." It is just a label, and labels mean nothing (in a better world). Be grateful you have had the endurance to make it this far and remember the injustice you experience and raise your children to be authentic by being an authentic parent. Change starts with you. 😄
Patrick thank you for sharing your story. It was scary but you did it anyway, and I really admire that.
If it were an option I would hire you as my psychologist because of your ADHD not despite it.
❤
Thank you for sharing! I can definitely relate... Feeling like I'm "not ADHD enough" and trying to hide my symptoms. I am finishing my PhD in the next couple of months, and it was a really awful ADHD/Autistic burnout halfway through grad school that led to my diagnosis. I gave my advisor my Disability Access paperwork, and he actually yelled at me. That was when I got angry and decided I wasn't going to sit down and be quiet anymore. 😂 Anyway, I can understand not wanting to disclose, because it is so SO hard, but I'm glad I did, if for no other reason than to maybe make things a tiny bit easier for the ADHDers who come after me.
It really bothers me being pushed to hide my adhd. Even the past few years having mental health professionals get upset I disclosed at work or dropping diagnosis for college. It feels descriminating or setting me up to fail.
I love that I got got diagnosed recently and my doctor was saying have you watched How to ADHD on TH-cam I was shocked that she too knew your channel. I was like I was already love her videos and was searching about/finding more about adhd and came across your videos on TikTok. Love your strategies to deal with adhd and not be ashamed of it and try not to hide it and embrace it.
I dropped out of college... Twice. I didn't have the focus and with the stress of life and such... I didn't even know it had a name at the time. I am now 32, diagnosed at 30. My parents have admitted to knowing I had it, although they never got me tested... So many things could be different if I'd had the help and meds back then. Honestly, though, I wouldn't be where I am now, the growth I've accomplished, the people I've helped, my amazing wife and son... These things wouldn't be. Split thought, for sure, but what could have been different if I had known? Yanno? I love my life now, but it most definitely would have been easier knowing. Too many regrets that I know now weren't my fault... My brain just doesn't think that way. 🤷🏻♂️ ADHD is part of me. I struggle, but I thrive as well. Thanks for sharing! Love this channel. Has helped me more times than I can count. Tears and laughter = healing ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your story. This is such an important topic and I really needed to hear this. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 16 was on meds for awhile and went off them in college bc "Im not that bad" and "I can survive without it" Now I'm in my third year of medical school and STRUGGLING!!!!! My mask is coming off no matter how hard I try to hide my ADHD. But like Dr. LaCount said everyone in professional school/academia is struggling so you write off your problems and are too scared to tell your friends bc they might not understand how your struggles are any different from theirs.
I also think for many primarily inattentive types we struggle to feel like anyone will believe us when we say we have ADHD bc our problems are very internalized and not always obvious.
Feeling inspired to tell some of my close friends in med school (many of which want to go into pediatrics and psychiatry who would be super understanding and supportive) and go back to see a psychiatrist.
At first what made u to take a diagnosis at age 16 ?and wt were ur masking techniques that failed in med school ?
I heard several times that there was at least one in my family who went to college 'got brain fever' and had to drop out. He must have had ADD/ADHD. I am 74 and self diagnosed at about 50. I was on generic Ritalin for about 20 years. In 1955 when I started 1st grade nobody knew what ADD was or how to treat it. Sometimes I do tell acquaintances I have ADD. Meaning, I will tell almost anyone I have it. I am retired so there is no competitiveness. It is just part of me. I also was told I could do anything I wanted, but I couldn't. I never did very well in school. I went to college and did just so so. 20 years later, I went back to college to get a BA. I taped every class. I listened to every tape at least twice after class. I was on the Dean's list and graduated with a 3.5 GPA. Sometimes it is employing a tool that nobody else uses. Find the right tool for the job.
Exactly, it's just "part of you." I hope it doesn't take 74 years for our children and their children to STOP it with the labels. "Brain fever" that's awful, It sounds like a disease. I hope it's not contagious. lol. Good for you for going back to school later in life and learning what it would take for you to be successful (recording every lecture). You ought to be proud of yourself and grateful for your accomplishments. What matters is that we face our adversities and learn to work around them. 😃
Question to you, did it ever get easier to plan stuff or doing chores? Do you have any life hacks?
@@MathildaMolanderMolin I end up with piles. They bother and nag at me. Apparently after the 20 years on Ritalin, I have adapted some of my processes. My bride of 38 years would be better to ask how I am different. When I turned 70 I stopped the drug. Planning is not my strong suit. Miraculously, my position before retiring was Chief Engineer for a radio station which requires LOTS of planning.
@@robincross4625 wow im impressed, and glad you got help. What did your medication do for you? Otherwise, Would love to hear what your bride say about your jurney
Fabulous interview. Thanks so much for sharing. It is scary to share it because people really don’t understand what you’re dealing with. It is also exhausting to hide it. I’m so glad you have this channel.
It's so easy to be kind of socialised into gaslighting yourself. I'm starting to recognise that that is probably what I am doing myself, but it isn't stopping that thought pattern from happening
I truly believe that if my partner had not shared that part of himself with me, we would not be in a relationship now. If he had not shared his perspective and experience, I would be a much worse manager and a more judgmental person in general. I would never have found my way onto a channel like this and learned as much as I have to become a better, more accepting person. I remember one of my aha moments that strengthened our relationship. I learned about ADHD and closing cabinet doors. I went from 2 years of passive aggressively slamming them shut when the whole kitchen was awry, to gently closing them as an act of service. It clicked that he wasn’t leaving them open to be annoying- his brain had just moved on faster than the time it took to shut the cabinet. This is just one of the many examples that I have experienced that allow me to love him the best I can.
I can relate I went though the military, received my bachelors in psychology and a MBA. I have had many struggles even in work now. I'm under employed for my experience and degree. I'm both ADHD and on the spectrum. Between channels like this, starting therapy, and medication. It has been a big change in my personal life.
As someone with ADHD, I totally relate to Patrick's story. Struggled in my schooling years, got diagnosed with ADHD in the first semester of Freshman year of college, and while I am not in academia, I did a lot of masking in my professional years. Thanks for sharing this!
As someone who brute force through one degree and then another before being diagnosed as an adult... I feel that. I have people tell me that I seem so normal/functional like it's a compliment, but it just makes me question my diagnosis/fall back into the shame of, "maybe I'm just making excuses," when I feel like i'm treading water.
9:43 THIS! Doubting and denying ADHD distracts from finding the tools that can actually help! ⭐"Instead of just being like, 'Hey, this might be a part of ADHD--how can we work around that?'⭐It was like 'NOPE! Figure it out, [...] work harder.'"
I am so disappointed in academia after listening to this. As an anthropologist, who I am and my ADHD experience will always be central and a part of my research. I’m sorry it wasn’t the same for you 💔 I promise we are trying to change that!
❤ wonderful words!
Wow, your story hit way close to home. I learned about ADHD in uni while studying psychology. A few years later I got diagnosed. That’s almost 10 years ago now and I’ve only told a handfull of people, not even my family. I am so afraid that everything I do will be judged in light of my ADHD and then never bee seen as equal. Before my diagnosis I talked alot about my suspicions, but after I just stay silent. My mother had to know as she was part of the evaluation. She was bad before but after she’s questioned my diagnosis and also told me I need help when I set boundaries for her. It might be her judgment and treatment of me, that just have put a fear in me where I just can’t get my self to open up. I’m so scared of people seeing me as less valuable because of my brain, that admittedly is a bit weird, but I wouldn’t want another one. Whenever I meet people who are open I find myself jealous, and also justifying why it’s ok for them and not me. I have several acedemic degrees, and I’m smart and I have a job with much responsibility. I don’t know, but I feel like the stakes are always so much higher for me if I tell.. anyways.. I just needed to rant. I’m so happy for you, fir finally being brave enough to let the world see you and accept you for who you are.
Hopefully you do have someone you trust and can tell. But i suggest you are cautious about opening up to people from your mother's generation. We just weren't raised with authenticity being a priority because our parents (mostly) were raised by parents who always wore their masks. YOU begin the generational change by being authentic with your peers and those younger than yourself. With that, your generation will raise children who are authentic (so long as you have made it a priority and habit by then. (Read Brene Brown's recent books. She teaches how important vulnerability and authenticity is.) Be the parent you wish your parents were. With a little luck, your grandchildren will thrive in a generation where the vast majority of people have realized the importance of authenticity so it is just the "norm." Change is so slow but it starts with you. 😁
you should make a video on behavioral issues with ADHD. like when i was younger i ripped off keys on laptops at school and today i was in an office room alone and i wanted to rip them off
Thank you so much for talking about this candidly because I'm in the exact same boat. PhD in psych, afraid to tell anyone, frustrated with working harder to mask than to actually learn the material. So glad to hear I'm not alone in this.
Hits home. I just withdrew from my final unit in a master's with an HD ave because my ADHD has overtaken everything and left me overwhelmed and unable to engage.
I started my journey towards an adhd diagnosis towards the end of my first year of uni. 4 years later, I've graduated with my masters and I'm planning to start a PhD in September. I sincerely hope I have a diagnosis and/or helpful treatment plan before then because dragging myself through my undergrad degree undiagnosed, untreated and with terribly unhealthy coping mechanisms, was the hardest thing I have ever done, even with tbe few accommodations I was able to get on grounds of poor mental health.
I am in my 50s not yet diagnosed, am awaiting an assessment. Didn’t realise I had ADHD until both my sons were diagnosed and when the Dr was explaining the signs/symptoms of this my wife recognised that I have it too.
Until recently didn’t tell my work, I have subsequently disclosed and some of my supervisors have been supportive but others when I explain why I sometimes struggle just look at me blankly.
Not sure how they would react if things went badly wrong because I was having an off day, must admit at work I really mask which is exhausting. Thank-you for the video though I never went to Uni left school went straight into the military then left had a number of jobs before working where I am now.
1:33 this is how i feel about CFS right now. i definitely have crashes 2 days after i exhausted myself, but there are so many other people who struggle much more than me. a couple of months ago i doubted that i really had it, but every time i had these doubts sooner or later a crash would hit me. it's weird how the brain thinks sometimes.
I resonated so much with this. Growing up, I really struggled in school, and sadly in college, I dropped out after years of struggle.
Omg my mom is the same way I relate to the working so hard for little productivity as well as the difficulty planning shopping lists and stuff the struggle is real. In academia it’s definitely hard
This! I still feel this in my bones! I haven't connected with someone this much in a while. I was diagnosed last year at 31 while returning to school, and it still doesn't feel like it is real. But this is exactly how I feel! 8:37
For me it's more of dad guilt. I use CBD gummies for my girl, she's five and they're working great for her. She's improving and I'm really happy. I'd suggest you try them.
@@mikeroach5065 how do i get any of those..?
@@jeffreybrinker5367 From albovegateway
...On Instagram, you can look them up
Hi, thank you for the interview. I was diagnosed ADHD in my late 40s. I told everyone. Why? Because my diagnosis answered a lot of questions I had since childhood. Explained why I got fired from every job I had. My last one lasted 12 years. But the last General Manager didn't want anyone like me, unless I could go a whole year and not make any mistakes. Then he would make me Credit Manager. Yeah right.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!! I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for you sharing this and how much I relate to this.
I am currently in Grad school for my PhD in Math and I also have ADHD, and it’s been ridiculously hard trying to relate to my peers or instructors. I’ve also been recently receiving tons of flak from one of my professors for how I’m a good teacher, but how “time management always seems to be something you struggle with” (even though I’ve also earned teaching awards at this uni)
I could go on and on, but I just wanted to say thank you, from someone going through a similar journey in Grad school. This was supremely validating. ❤
Wow, your professors time management statement just proves how uneducated he is.
like you should slap down a giant stack of research on adhd and tell him to go study and actually learn about the subject. That he so clearly misunderstandings and mocks and end with the line "learning doesn't end after your last higher education class ends".
yay, maths!
Again, I apologize for most of my generation (I'm 54). We just were not raised to be authentic and to accept that we may not be doing the best, as a professor for example, that we could be doing. Being a professor comes with a sense of pride that eliminates the likelihood of realizing that there is a better way to relate our students and humans in general. You will be a better parent and raise your children to be better parents. So in 40 or 50 years, the professors of your grandchildren may treat them with more compassion. Change SO SLOW for a society, but it is inevitable. 😀 Just keep leading by example.
The earlier you learn about it the better . The more the diagnoses,the combination and interaction, can be intense . If the diagnoses come years apart . There are people who are part of a “lost generation “. Getting post secondary qualifications, without any support. I have dyspraxia, ADHD and autistic traits .
As someone with an engineering degree and currently undergoing ADHD diagnosis, I really appreciate this video. I resonate with so many things that Patrick said. Over the past year or so, I've increasingly suspected I have ADHD after seeing memes and watching videos like the ones from this channel. I always struggled to do homework and school work, but I was clearly smart, so I was always told "you have so much potential if you would just apply yourself" (sound familiar?). I only recently learned that my parents wondered if I had ADHD, but that was quickly dismissed because I "was too smart and couldn't possibly have ADHD". So I pushed through and managed to get a Bachelor's degree and a successful career. But school was hard. It was so hard. Especially with those words in the back of my mind that I knew I was smart but I must be lazy because I just can't sit and study and do assignments. Work is hard, too; paying attention in meetings, hitting deadlines, staying focused.
Through my ongoing ADHD diagnosis, as I'm in between appointments, I've had those same doubts that I'm "not ADHD enough". Maybe I just really am lazy and I don't have the right to be part of this community because, sure, I struggle at work, around the house, and with relationships, but I'm making it work, so the struggles must just be my fault, right? Hearing Patrick talk about his struggle with accepting and sharing his ADHD is validating to me as I go through similar struggles, and I hope he can continue to accept himself as he is and not apologize for the way his brain works. Thanks for sharing your experience, Patrick!
Wanted to comment on here as well. My psychological profile is pretty complex (C-PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression)
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 31 cause I graduated with a Bachelor's Of Science in Applied Mathematics and was told I'm too smart to have ADHD, because I was successfully working a full time job as a Statistician for a Fortune 500 company and had completed a Bachelor's in Math.
It wasn't until I worked through a lot of of my other struggles (and childhood trauma) with my Psychologist after 5 years that it was even brought up due to the history of symptoms I presented in the sessions were recurring despite working through & processing through my Anxiety/Depression/Trauma.
Trying to do Graduate school has been a struggle for me because of this (and working full time). I've been trying since 2016.
My current job is great though and Im given a lot of creativity (and flexibility) to work autonomously. It is pretty understimulating though and I've been trying to look for work in a different department.
Now, my Psychologist is bringing up the possibility of me being gifted or a genius and that adds a whole other dimension to my struggles.
Really appreciate this video. It's always great to hear from others who weren't diagnosed until later in life.
Reminds me that I'm not alone.
I’m really appreciative of this story. I come from a high achieving family. Understanding and managing ADHD in these context has been a uniquely difficult thing. It’s hard to come to terms with a disability like this when you’ve cranked out achievements that other people applaud but they feel like a graveyard of failures.
Oh, this brought me to tears. How brave of you to finally talking openly about it. I hope it brings some sense of relief. Academia sounds extra harsh for ND people, I think it’s crucial to raise awareness about it. Thank you so much for everything you bring to the world. ❤
100% agree!😃
@@renemaurer7829 😊
I'm 30 years old and recently scheduled my first visit to a psychologist to get a ADHD diagnosis after finding this channel a few years ago and realizing everything about ADHD explains my life experiences so accurately. Hearing Patrick speak about the pressure to work harder and try to outrun having a different brain resonates so hard.
I prefer to say "I am ADHD" rather than "I have ADHD". There's something about the word "have" that makes it feel dirty to me. It's not a disease! If I use the phrase "I am" it seems like more of a personality trait and I can even think of it as a super power! 💪
No. That’s not correct. You aren’t ADHD. You are @CanadianOptionsTrader. That’s a semantic misunderstanding of identity generally. I think.
ADHD is part of you, you are not part of it. Why? Because ADHD is a diagnostic. It identifies something about someone. It doesn’t identify someone. It identifies a malady by a set of metrics, and a set of treatments associated with it.
Great if you celebrate the unique ways you are you. We can take a shorthand for the thing that describes you. But it’s like saying you are OCD, when something is bothering you because it’s out of place. But it’s a different use than the Medical term. We have descriptors for who you are already. Creative. Fun. A disaster walking. Those are character traits. Parts of you. Don’t limit yourself like that. And definitely don’t limit others like that. If it’s not a diagnosis, it doesn’t need treated, and therefore is categorically different altogether.
that's really interesting. I actually take the exact opposite approach for a similar sense of liberation. I have adhd but this is more specifically for bipolar. I prefer to say "I have bipolar" rather than "I am bipolar" because I felt like I was losing my identity to the diagnosis and having that seperation allowed me to see it as part of me to learn, understand and use with responsibility as I see fit, kind of like your super power analogy.
@@baksh I also agree with this approach much more
I say "I have" ADHD (and ASD), not "I am" because I have no interest in those conditions defining me.
My twin brother and I both have ADHD and we display in very different ways. He struggled a lot in school and I excelled, and being twins, the comparison took a lot out of him. I haven't told my dad about my ADHD after my adult diagnosis because of that comparison from our childhood.
I didn’t get diagnosed until after I got my associates degree. It took me over twice as long to get that degree than it “should” have! I definitely had the same struggles that he described in this video. I haven’t struggled with ADHD like the “ typical“ ADHD person does, but I definitely struggle being around Nuro typical students. now I am gratefully pursuing a career in the trades! And my life has become so much smoother!
Dr. Patrick, you are an inspiration for many of us in education with ADHD. Thank you.