Unmasking ADHD | Hayley Honeyman | TEDxSFU
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ค. 2024
- Hayley is a Vancouver-based Internet Personality with over half a million followers across platforms. She focuses her content on ADHD, Autism and Mental Health Awareness, all while being goofy, comedic and her authentic self. Hayley also runs virtual programs around Mental Health for adults. With hundreds of attendees from around the world each month, she is working towards creating global change around how we manage our mental health as individuals and in workplaces. Hayley spends her time outside of her advocacy work reading, writing music, rock climbing and practicing wellness and mindfulness practices to continually improve her own mental health. You can find Hayley on her socials @hayleyhoneyman Hayley is a Vancouver-based Internet Personality with over half a million followers across platforms. She focuses her content on ADHD, Autism and Mental Health Awareness, all while being goofy, comedic and her authentic self.
Hayley also runs virtual programs around Mental Health for adults. With hundreds of attendees from around the world each month, she is working towards creating global change around how we manage our mental health as individuals and in workplaces.
Hayley spends her time outside of her advocacy work reading, writing music, rock climbing and practicing wellness and mindfulness practices to continually improve her own mental health.
You can find Hayley on her socials @hayleyhoneyman This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
It was an absolute pleasure sharing my experience with unmasking. I wish the 10 year old in the Hallway on a verge of a panic attack could see me now 🥺💛
Proud of you :) , I can't imagine how daunting do a ted talk is. And thank you for giving such an amazing talk
Love this! Honestly, your TEDtalk is probably my favourite. Thank you, for putting the things I have gone through in words I never could, neurospicy fam. I don't feel as alone as I used to, thanks to people like you Hayley.
@@ThatElfTorunn 😭 thank you so much
Beautifully done, so grateful to have found you on YT in the past year, and to be learning this aspect of your story 🤍 seeing you on this major stage is wonderful! Wish the audience were more responsive to your humor, what a flat crowd…
But YOU rocked, Hayley!!
Brava HAYLEY. what a Ted Talk debut! A supa dupa well done from Ireland with love and total acceptance to your unmasked self. I am a Subscriber to your YT channel and gain insight into myself, my best friend, and those around me who have ADHD x!
"When you live the most foundational years of you life behind different masks, you never really become a whole person." - I am crying. I was one of those thriving kids, intelligent, kind and hardworking. I have a good and supportive family. I could never find a reason why after beginning to struggle in early adulthood, it never really stopped being hard. I am a very well-reflected person, but this sentence is the explanation I couldn't come to by myself. Thank you for making us feel seen, Hayley❤
I sat down with my afternoon tea and toast, stoked to see my favorite TH-camr had done a TedTalk. I did not expect to be bawling into my tea for 15 minutes. Hayley, your channel, which I only discovered a few weeks ago, has already made such a difference in my life. This spoke to me... beyond words.
I was diagnosed as autistic and ADHD at 32 years old. At 37, I am deep in the unmasking process. It is terrifying, and confusing, and some days I don't know how I make it through. But I want you to know, you inspire me. Your words make a difference. Feeling seen is such an important aspect, and you make me feel seen.
Deciding to unmask is a commitment to vulnerability on the highest level !☆
I stared in 2018... WiP and SO worth it!
Seriously I sometimes mask even when alone
After finding Hayley on TH-cam, my life changed! no therapist i went to (in germany) really understood my struggles or could really dive in to solutions i would have needed. Thanks to Hayley i can heal and reset my mindest around myself and other struggles i face. I see my ADHD problems with more humor and love ♥
Thank you so so much and finally it was possible to see the TEDtalk yay!🥳
Same for me. It's so hard to even find a therapist who even remotely knows more about ADHD and autism than the DSM-V or ICD-10 talk about. 🙄
You absolutely killed it Hayley! Was an honor to share the stage with you that night 🙏🏽
Thanks Micky!! You as well!!
I'm actually crying. I've been watching your videos for so long. I needed to hear this today. Thank you Hayley.
Same thing here ❤️
Thank you so much for your bravery!
Despite the audio difficulties i love this TedxTalk! You did such an amazing job! I'm a big fan of you on TH-cam and I'm so glad you're out there representing us ADHD women in such a powerful and relatable way.
I hope this TEDx talk reaches audience around the world who can relate to what Hayley has gone through and what they themeselves have gone through having ADHD.
Hayley, you truly are a hero to the Neurodivergent community! I, too, went through almost exactly what you described, down to being a victim of abuse. It led me to finally feel more comfortable taking off my mask. Ironically, I collect carved wooden masks that I hang on the wall. Maybe it's symbolic or something. Anyway, you are the $hit 😊 Thank you so much for sharing your story and wisdom. Keep on being your beautiful self❤ 💗
I always thought I had the super power of "blending in" and "adapt" to people...... Now I know, I was masking!! 😂 😂 😂
This really feels like it was meant for me, and left me with a tight feeling in my chest. I got my official diagnosis yesterday at 30 years old, and I'm ready for change.
Awesome Hayley! What a great talk and way to spread awareness about what you are doing. It was an honour to share the stage with you! 😊🎉
really cool to see you using a fidget during your presentation! wish it was more common and socially acceptable
Congratulations on your Ted Talk. I love that you got to show up in Pompeii as your authentic self while your inner child got to explore that intense interest in a positive way. You are beautiful and a great content creator, love your work. Thank you ❤🙏
Omg Hayley you have unlocked a really important door for me in understanding HOW I have masked my whole life and the severe anxiety, overthinking and worrying its caused me and how that's related to my inattentive adhd AND how the masking is quite literally the cause of the anxiety. Masking has honestly been the root issue of so many struggles I've faced that I didn't previously have the answer for. For so many years (going to therapy) I've been trying to understand why I felt so happy and free as a kid but as I grew life, school, jobs, all of it progressively became harder to manage (more so for me than for the average person). For the longest time I felt like a failure and that I wouldn't achieve anything/ haven't achieved anything significant. Unmasking has been a difficult journey for me but listening to your ted talk has given me the tools and understanding and has honestly even inspired me to raise awareness for others too
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD untill I was 35 years old (about a year ago), boy oh boy have the pieces of the puzzle fell into place! I do have to say, I'm still struggling a bit with it. Actually more than before, since I figured it was just my personality. And I had completely come to terms with that, but I was struggling with the overwhelm of having 2 small kids. That's when I started digging and got diagnosed. I still haven't figured out what it means to me, why it has changed so much of how I feel about myself... still finding out how to find my balance again, like before I knew...
This talk hit me in places I did not know existed. Thank you Hayley for your vulnerability! I went down the exact path you described.. finding your videos on TH-cam have lead me to realize that I have been masking my entire life.. so long that I don’t even remember how or when it began. I’m now in the process of getting an adhd diagnosis but even more importantly, now I can show myself compassion for my struggles with time blindness, task initiation, all the ADHD things. Your work and art have changed my life. I am forever grateful to you. ❤ thank you
LOVE the pants
Everyone should listen to this
I was 61 when I got my diagnosis, bitter sweet
😮😅😕☹️🥺🥹
I'm literally crying right now. That's all I want.
4:30 I wish I was 22. You still have your whole life ahead of you. You can do great things. I just got an official diagnosis at 38. I have been trying to pick up my meds for a month for the first time.
This is the only video I've watched at regular speed in years. I felt this video deserved this. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Also thank you for all the wonderful content you make. You've helped more people than you know. 😭😭❤️❤️
As someone that watched all videos in 1.5x speed… That is the highest compliment 🥺 thank you for the love!!
FOR FUCK'S SAKE THIS WAS SO AMAZING! I ALMOST CRIED! AHHHHHH! *excited screaming*
Thanks for sharing your authentic and weird self with us! I learned so much through watching your videos on YT and Instagram alone and I frequently pass them along my neurodivergent found family. I also feel like unmasking as AuDHD made me grow closer to the people that matter and that truly support me. My blood family doesn't validate my struggles even though I try to explain a lot and also give context as to why I wasn't diagnosed as a kid. They simply act both my diagnosis didn't happen. I'm constantly hearing the famous "But that's how everyone is / feels" even from relatives who exhibit CLEAR CUT ADHD symptoms. When I was 18 I moved 300 miles away from them. I'm now 24. I think I really wanted to get out of there even though I didn't have the language to name the reasons or perspective to know how emotional it support from close people looks like. I'm so glad I got out of there. I was back there two weeks ago and istg such a sad lump of dysfunctional people who constantly belittle and force each other to suppress their needs, boundaries and emotions. I feel sad for them but I'm past the point of trying to fix them. I can't fix anyone, I can only hope that living my truth makes some people understand how important it is that we as a society continue to talk about neurodivergence and that we push for more equality until we all can live a safe and comfortable life.
I got a little off track. 😅 Anyways, it's been so amazing to hear your TED talk. Lots of love and appreciation ❤
I’m 52 and just realised I have ADHD. It’s mind boggling
Thank you so much Hayley, you help me so much to understand and accepting myself as an AUDHD girl freshly diagnosed. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Hayley, you are amazing! Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable. This talk made me cry. I've done a bunch of your workshops, but I think it's time for the unmasking workshop....
ADD didn’t exist when I was young. OK, it afflicted millions, but I don’t know if clinicians had invented it as a “thing.” When I first encountered the term I was probably 40, and I didn’t think the diagnosis referred to me because I never had the hyperactive part. (But boy do I relate to your refrigerator comment!)
Once I realized there was a group of people who were not hyperactive, but had most of the other behaviors, I thought I had the condition.
And when I learned that hyper-focusing and improved concentration in a loud and bustling environment were also characteristic of ADD I knew I had it. I got confirmation from a psychiatrist when I was about 55, and have benefited tremendously from therapy and from Concerta/methylphenidate. I continue to learn from books and research and recently from videos - yours in particular.
Congratulations on this excellent talk.
BTW I haven’t heard you talk about medication, though I haven’t searched for this topic in your archive. I hope you’re not opposed to using this type of help.
Now that I realize what a huge audience you have (all earned! go YOU!) maybe you can help: There has been a major shortage of concerta and adderal for at least 2 years now - very stressful - drug manufacturers/distributors aren’t trying hard enough to fix this!)
Please take care of yourself.
Yeah, you are right, there’s a lot of us adhders out there! Stuff being quiet, let’s show them what we can do!
Unmasking still in progress at 43 years old and diagnosed at 8 years old. 😜 For context I am a researcher, and public speaker with a masters degree. In most settings I can be myself but I find it hard to know how to be myself and let others be themselves at the same time.
My ADHD cant focus because of the odd knocking sound
I agree with what you say. I had discomfort with the knocking sound. But soon, I was able to concentrate and complete watching the whole video.
I hope your ADHD leaves you with some peace for a while and may you pay attention to this beautiful talk.
Wishes of positivity and hope for you.
Regards from a brother from another mother.
@blondefisk I think it’s her earring against her microphone
I can relate to some of your personal experiences. I don’t feel so alone. Thank you for the courage shown going up on stage and telling your story. It helps more than you know.
The song Best Imitation of Myself by Ben Folds to me encapsulates so very well my masking experience. I have zero idea if this was Ben Folds' meaning for this song, but I connect SO much to the lyrics!
Oh the mic rattle is very distracting. Seen this on a few Ted Talks. Wish they would invest in better ones.
Didn’t even know this was a problem! Looking at it I think my earring was hitting the mic. Super frustrating!
Sound problems has made me stop watching their talks before. For something that's all about talking not giving the speakers proper equipment is just unbelievable...
Yeah, it’s a bummer. TED has the funding, they need to do better for these brave presenters.
Luckily, as you keep listening & tune into her words, which are easy to follow yet meaningful, the clicking kind of fades into the background more.
I think it's because her earrings are hitting the mic arm. I have seen this with a nobel prize one with his glasses. It's so simple, make sure nothing is touching the mic.. How many Ted talks have happened? Yes their independently run, but come on is this the first time the organizers have used a mic like this?
Sobbing 😭 I also didn’t get diagnosed until I was 24
Whenever I hear about adhd stories I feel so seen & understood. ❤
Beautifully honest Hayley! Thank you. As a woman at 46 just realising and being diagnosed with ADHD, your struggles made sense to me. All the weird and unique little puzzle pieces suddenly made sense in my life and I understand myself better than I ever have. I'm thinking about those masks, I haven't even quite identified them yet, so your visualisation exercise at the end was very powerful for me. It was great to have it explained so simply and well! Great job!!!
This is such an important topic I think everyone in the community should see. I can relate to this so much and Hayley's videos have been life changing for me ❤ truly an amazing human, well done Hayley.
I feel so broken when I’m in front of my guitar teacher not being able to focus on the chords even though I’ve played it before. I’m so creative and music and books are the love of my life. I believe in myself and my dreams but having only “normal” people around me who put crazy expectations on me hurts. I get told I’m “too much” by the narcissists in my life often. I’m too much myself. I am too much ambitious. Too “unrealistic.” Well it’s people like us, the ones who are “too much” who have beautiful brains, hearts, & creative careers.
So incredibly powerful! Thank you for sharing your story. I know so many people can relate. Coming from another kid told to wait in the hall. 💜💙💖
Wow that 20,000 number hits. And is a really good reminder for me as a dad to not contribute towards that number when my own ADHD feels overwhelmed.
Truly, thank you Hayley.☀️💛
This was great to listen to, loved it!. As someone with ADHD I really relate so strongly to this and feel encouraged and hopeful by it and that these ideas can spread beyond the ADHD community.
Ive been patiently waiting for this talk to be uploaded. Haley has opened my eyes to a whole new world of being. Currently learning to unmask is a little less terrifying with you cheering me on through instagram, and your youtube content. I knew I would love this TedTalk but it was even better than I dreamt ❣️
Keep being your amazing self!love, Andrea
Just came here form the add she is in for Stimagz. So nice to see people with ADHD not only talk about it, but work hard to provide the tools so we all can succeed.
Thank you So much for talking about it. I can relate so much 🤗 Hugs to those who feel alone or misunderstood 🤗
Awesome talk! I do that thing with the fridge all the time. My brain can't seem to work out how to get ingredients to come together to make something to eat unless I have a written plan, not just a recipe.
I recognise the way I put on masks as well, especially around my family. I've always been told I'm too sensitive and too quiet.
My family don't want to see the truth because then they would have to change their beliefs about me, their behaviour and might have to start taking responsibility for their actions and the way they talk to me. They would have to change the stories that they tell themselves and each other. They might even have to change their unrealistic expectations.
At the moment they don't listen or try to minimise my feelings and what I live with. I live with a list of chronic health challenges that may be managed better but that I will have to treat/manage the rest of my life. The health challenges limit what I am able to do and I'm basically housebound at the moment and on a long journey of recovery from being bed bound. My family continue to deny that many of the symptoms I struggle with daily exist, any help they offer is minimal and often when I ask for help I'm told I'm not that sick, I should be doing it myself, etc. I have felt for a long time that any family interaction occurs so they can say that they helped, as a duty or a task on a check list done out of family duty.
I suspect that I have ADHD or something similar on top of my diagnosis of rapid cycling treatment resistant bipolar spectrum disorder. So I'm learning what adhd is, what I can do to help myself and slowly implementing techniques to help me manage.
Thankyou for speaking. Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
Your words broke me and built me back up.
Thank you so so much.
❤
Never in my life did I get gutteral joy from seeing a ted talk title.
Finally ❤❤
AND. Its Hayley. Shes such a good voice.❤
Life is being in a cave under water, Hayley, watching this was finding a pocket of air
Congratulations Hayley! Great job!
You absolutely nailed it Hayley! I watch your TH-cam channel like you mentioned, for relatable AdHd content (and tips/knowledge). Didn't know you were an amazing public speaker too!!! Amazing talk. thanks for sharing it with the world!
Great statistics and information you shared ❤ Yep, I'm ADHD diagnosed at 37! But I had been wondering since I was maybe 15 years old. A mask on all the time. It broke me when I was on projects with no structure... and not cooperating and ignoring co-workers. So I pushed the diagnosis. I was dying to get those meds while awaiting the appointments and report. Just to try to be like the others. I've been thinking madly about visiting Pompei this summer!! 😂😂😂
So interesting, thanks for sharing !!
Thanks for sharing!
Hayley, you are wonderful. Thank you for this
Legit made me cry 😭 Thank you, dearheart ❤
Beautifully done👏 so relatable ,so much love for you!
You are so incredible Hayley! This made me cry 😭 congratulations! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Hayley 💛
hayley, it’s been 3mo since i was diagnosed with adhd and your videos have been so validating and helpful 😭 i never understood why i felt constantly miserable or why i had to try 2x harder than my peers. i feel as if i’m just now understanding myself at 24. thank you for sharing your experiences and tips 🫶🏻
Sorry, absolutely awesome talk all the same. I completely relate. Still do at 45.
Hayley you are amazing!
Loved it! 🥰
Thank you Hayley :)
My mom threw away my elementary papers a few years ago. Based on my ratings for behavior, I could see where the mask started. I was diagnosed at 7 because my brother is Autistic and my mom knew something was off. My 2nd grade teacher was also ADHD, and she was the one who pushed my mom to take me for assessment. Problem was, my school didn't give e a 504, so when I hit middle school and was struggling, my counselor yelled at my MOM, why doesn't this kid have a 504?! My mom told her to talk to my elementary school counselor. They did. They literally called them and yelled at them.
Queen
Yooo I love those pants! They're so cute!
At my first job i was told if i didnt stop showing my faults id be fair game for harm i got tied to a post the next day. They dont like us.
They dont want to.
It wasnt like a one off. My family told me this is why they kept hurting me. I made it fun.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to make it not fun
I’m having a hard time not being distracted with the tapping. For the love of G, Tedx - invest in better audio. ❤AUDHD woman diagnosed @ 48.
Yeah wireless mic alternatives for the win!
@hayley.honeyman, what was the font type that you used in the slide where "Unmask the mind" is written ?.
Jesus. An ADHD talk in which the speaker’s earring(?) is tapping against the mic. Must… keep… watch… ing…
❤❤❤
You are awesome ❤️🫶🥲
I’m renaming you helpful Hayley.
I really want to know what figit toy that is.
probably stimagz, that’s her favorite
@@raehawkins7655That looks right. Thank you so much!
🥹😭❤
Second
It eventially stops
Being disliked by your mother. That’s fun.
I was told “ba kya bari mutum yayi magana” you don’t allow people to speak…….you can talk too much…..