I don't know if I'm ADHD specifically. But I do know what one of the kindest things a college professor said to me was. When a classmate tried to rat me out for writing my paper the night before, he just looked at them and said "she may not have written a word until last night, but she has been working on it in her head for weeks." I felt so relieved that, even though my process was different than my classmates', that was ok.
That college profesor sounds god send. I can relate to your work process and am thanking your professor for puttting words to process I find mysfelf to often.For somehtings I really need to write/process in my head (for the amount of time it takes) before I put anything on paper. Just realised a couple of years ago (I am 46) that is not procrestination even it can look like it from the outside (and internalised otuside viev, if that make sense :):
I also do this. I feel like I can not start typing the assignment or plan the lesson (I'm a teacher) until I have planned the content and formatted the order of the assignment in my head.
every time you are working to adopt a way of function. "i got it, i got it... im doing it" then "dang it" or after some time, "when did i stop trying to do that?"
"Reading everything, unless it's for an assignment", same here. The only teacher who understood/appeared to understand was my Year 10 English teacher Mr Anderson. Everyone in the class had to read x number of pages of any book, and write about it in a "reading journal". I did the reading, but not the writing. Everyone who hadn't done it got detention. In detention I was the first person he asked "Why didn't you do it?" - "I did, I read xyz, I just didn't write about it" - "Ok, tell me what happens in xyz"... After about a minute of me monologuing in detail about whatever book it was, he stopped me and said "I believe you, you can go" . After that I never once wrote in the journal and he never gave me detention for it again, he would just check in to see what/if I was reading, bless him
Ya thats kind of what i did except id show up to class and pretend not to understand the question and then they’d start talking about it and i would explain the whole thing and they’d be like ah you know the material and i got a’s and b’s
@@victorialaur omg, this was the most common comment from my teachers! It gave me the constant feeling that I was being lazy so much that I still feel guilty when I’m not doing something.
Thank you, yes, exactly. I've lost count of the times people have told me "You should monetise this [fill in whatever brilliant thing I've just done]!" and I *know* they're being nice and I should learn to accept praise, but it's actually really hard because I know I'm just having one of those days when I can do that particular thing well....
I had a college math professor say, you won't get an A unless you do the (non-graded) homework. And then he went over the homework every day in detail in class. Yeah that was an A, no homework necessary.
I wrote a 12 page essay on Dantes Inferno in 16 hours and got an 85. The first two hours were dedicated to finding my sources. We had a month to write this paper. Never felt so simultaneously accomplished, dumb, and stressed in my life.
My teacher gave a weird question that nobody has answered I got so curious that I almost lost for 3 days then Came up with the answer. He gave me a gift for this. He quoted that -You have potential but somehow you can't do better at the exam hall... Sometimes I tell myself Ahh if I can Focus consistently everyday I might do way better.
As a teacher, thank you for educating me about students playing with things in the drawer! I’ll give those students some quiet fidget toys instead of taking away their baskets in the drawers as I always do.
I have found different ribbons or haberdashery items can act as a quiet fidget. I love the feeling of satin or velvet, so that might also work for some students.
@@randomname1152 I second this! Also marble meshes/boinks, crocheted pop-its (WAY quieter than the silicone ones), and those little flippy ones made out of bike chain. Those are some of my favorite quiet fidgets.
@@randomname1152grosgrain ribbons (the ones with ridges running short ways) are a great texture for fidgeting. Satin ones too if you need it to be smooth
Ooooh, something that happened to me a lot in math was that I would forget a sign in the middle of the problem and mysteriously the negatives would turn into positives just two steps away from solving the equations, so I would end up with the wrong answer. I never thought that had anything to do with ADHD!
Idk if teachers know this now, but doodling during class really helped. I got detention for it and had my “artwork” stapled to my pink slip. Teachers. If someone is quietly doodling during your lesson that doesn’t mean they’re not listening.
I will just check in with them to try and prompt kids to stay in touch with a lesson. If they don’t hear me, then they are lost later and I don’t want anyone missing recess or any of those things teachers used to do to help kids learn.
Yesssssss. i had a few english teachers over the years, and last year, i had a terrible one. I wrote multiple 5s, which is german grades for an E. This year im in 12th grade and have a really cool dude from the UK. Im writing ones again... (meaning A's) :D
@@mistermistero652 I had two very different english teachers back-to-back in school. The first one was really good at holding open discussions with the class and getting me interested in what we were studying. I probably got my best english class grades that year. The next year my teacher ended up assigning us one of the same book. I got a zero on my essay that year.
After no support with ADHD in school, I'm currently an adult learner at a college awaiting an ADHD diagnosis and they have offered me a support person who specifically specialises in ADHD! As well as being allowed to get up and walk around, extra time, use of a computer in an exam and thr ability to pause the clock! In my conversation they mentioned how I had so many strategies, and you're the reason why! Thank you for keeping me afloat🙂
I didn't suspect I have ADHD until I was in my 30s... before that I thought I was lazy and foolish and that's why I dropped out of uni and underachieved evwrywhere. I _am_ lazy and foolish but that's not why I struggle 😄
Agggh so many of these are so relatable. Another one: asking for help from the teacher (usually for math), getting a good, patient explanation, thinking, "Oh, I get it now!", and then immediately forgetting that flash of insight when it came to doing the problems on my own.
Absolutely this one. A sizeable part of why doing homework was like nailing jello to a wall. I couldn't remember how to do the work outside the classroom.
This is completely un-related to the video, but anyways I've been trying to write short stories for about 5 years but every single time i would get distracted with another idea and give up on the story, which would then inevitably happen to the new idea. Finally after about 35(ish) stories, I finally manged to finish one! It's about 2000 words long and I'm so proud of it! That's my achievement for the week.
That's just sooo me, it makes me cry... I fu....ing want to finish ANYTHING! I play the piano for 7 years now, and i still cant play a single piece start to end ... I can play the first 30-60sec of around 20 pieces but thats it. 😞😞😞
excitedly raising my hand in class when i heard only one word the teacher said and my brain filled in the rest. the teacher didn't ask a question or ask for volunteers, but i was super ready for what i thought was going on.
Yeahhh I will randomly say things that I think is the answer even when the teacher is still talking In my college history class this is hard because I get stuff wrong like 50% or more of the time and the professor sometimes stops the listen because they think I have a question
Realizing in the gifted program that I forgot the homework assignment (as always) about personal goals and, as homework was being collected, I scribbled “My goal is my wish that I could remember homework assignments.” Took another 20 years to be diagnosed ADHD. 😅
i was wishing for that feeling which guaranteed me good grades on exams. I never could reliably get there and got reinforcement after reinforcement about my observations. And it wasnt confidence. It was just a flow.
22-year-old me flunking out of a grad program on a project I wasn't super excited about and had NO support with vs 32-year-old me graduating with a Masters degree with a 4.0 on a project I came up with myself (and was super excited about) and asking for (and getting) the support I knew I needed by then.
In eighth grade, I had a joint project between my English and Social Studies(/history) classes, and my lovely English teacher let me pick the subject (I was really into Marvel at the time, and the general topic was WWII, so I asked to do my project on Captain America - she let me do 'propaganda', which included Captain America, Rosie the Riveter, and Uncle Sam). Not only did I really appreciate that, but I /actually worked on the project outside of class/ AND I finished it BEFORE the deadline!!! Then my horrible Social Studies teacher took a point off because I kept saying "uh/um" while I was presenting. I would've had 100% otherwise. This video also reminded me of just how awful that same S.S. teacher was to me because of other ADHD behaviors I displayed, like drawing in class. He actually YELLED at me several times, singled me out, and made me cry. This adult man really told a 14 year old that they were a disappointment to their parents WHILE I WAS ALREADY CRYING. He also never remembered my first name and only referred to me by my last name, since he had also taught my older siblings. Sorry for rambling but I hate that man so much. I heard he recently retired though, so good riddance.
I can tell you did get sad reading about the forgetfulness by the tone of your voice 😢 it really is one of the hardest things to overcome for me because it makes me look like I don’t care at times
@@HowtoADHD Yeah, I still carry an imprint of a fight with my mom decades ago because I f.cking forgot to look at the date and it was her birthday. I knew it, I just didn't realize it was already that day. Still haunts me. Happened again with my husband's bd last year. At least he's the same brain and knows I do care.
The punishing and singling kids out because of their energy/constant questioning- that spoke to me. Yes! I wasn’t a bad kid, I was unsocialized with other kids my age and punished for what resulted. Time outs, red cards, being moved, being told to stop asking questions- I could have been such a more confident person long term. It’s amazing how your perspective changes when you’re told you’re not broken, you’re different.
Also when the teacher's open annoyance at being asked questions encourages the rest of the class to start rolling their eyes and making snide comments until you're shamed into no longer asking questions and spend the rest of the year in class pleasure reading instead of bothering to get invested in the presented material.
“The inconsistency *is* the disability” oh my GOD this is such a good way to put it. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try to be on time for things, the effort put into something seems to have no effect on whether or not I succeed. I was talking with my friend about this since it’s putting strain on our relationship, and when I told her my grip on time is not something I’m really able to control she said “oh, so you’re just not going to try anymore?” I didn’t even have words to further explain myself that was so jarring and hurtful. She didn’t even see how it could be hurtful since she was only seeing the effect and not the immense amount of work I am always doing to just be on time HALF the time.
I relate to this so hard, am always hurt when people around me don't see the imens amount of efort I put into the things I than fail at... And of course they only see the result (that I didn't turn up on time) and not how hard I am trying since ever to manage...
I was the high-anxiety straight-A kind of neurodivergent, but there were still signs. I'm still proud of the day where my Spanish teacher caught me reading a novel under the desk and called on me to answer a question. Without missing a beat, I answered the question and went back to reading. She didn't say anything else. This was how I coped with being bored in classes where I was ahead of everyone else (which was most classes).
This sounds like you were just intelligent, rather than ADHD. I mean, that's sounds just like being a good student and a bit ahead of the class. Where was the anxiety?
I did the same thing in elementary!! My teacher punished me by banning me from going to the library during recess. And taking away other privileges even though I was a good student and at the top of my class, just bored
My family nickname was Jessica-go-to-bed. I always got in trouble for talking in elementary school. During middle school I was absent an average of 1 day per week from missing the bus, sleeping in or deciding I didn't feel like it. By high school, I was pulling all nighters for every paper & did homework only while physically in school but graduated with honors. Abject fear of failure is the only way I managed productivity.
I’m watching this video with wireless headphones on while rushing to get ready for college (It’s 30 minutes after I was supposed to leave) when I realised I didn’t remember where I left my phone. I had to disconnect my headphones and follow the sound of your voice until I found you in the cupboard next to a jar of honey
Im 14, living in the uk and I me and my dad have strong feelings that I have adhd, but the waiting lists here are very long, shortage of medication and not enough research in girls and I don’t get support, but your videos help me manage my room and my mind so much better. Thank you
As a fellow ADHD Brit, but older than you, it's awesome to hear you have this sort of self-awareness during your school years, for me it didn't come until well after completing university! But agreed, the NHS waiting lists are absolutely dire as a result of under-funding for years. If your family is lucky enough to afford a private assessment then I can absolutely recommend taking that route. A good NHS GP and specialist should be willing to accept a private diagnosis with only a little work to make sure the private doctor was working in good faith (sadly there are some who don't work in good faith). You may then be able to get NHS treatment without waiting through the queue for an NHS diagnosis/assessment
Start the process even though it's long! Your future self will thank you! I'm currently 31 and have been trying to get assessment since I was 19. I'm now 4 years into what's expected to be a 5 year wait to the top of the NHS waiting list. It may not help you much while you're at school (although some schools put in accommodations before diagnosis), but even if you get seen at 20 that's still going to be a massive improvement. Being an Adult with ADHD is pretty damn difficult, so it'll be worth the wait. It's also more difficult to get accommodations without a diagnosis for adult things than for school things. The sooner you start the sooner you'll get the help you need. Ask your mum for help if you and your dad struggle to get the ball rolling (Edit: just realised I read your thing wrong and that’s it you and your dad who think you have it rather than you think you both have it, in which case I’m sure he can be the one to help get the ball rolling if he also agrees you’re likely to have it)
@mikaism - as another UK possible ADHDer, please look into "right to choice" its basically going to a private practice through the NHS and will cut down wait times a lot
Yes please get the ball rolling now if you can. Been trying for many, many years instead of just getting treated for depression, anxiety etc. In my 40s now and current dr is useless. Good luck!
@@alexandra1415 this is a very good tip. 2 years into my wait I convinced my mother to get checked too as I could see the symptoms she has. She got seen by Psychiatry UK within a couple months and has had her diagnosis confirmed. Only reason I didn’t do the same was that I didn’t want to lose my spot on my waiting list and was under the false impression that I was already close to being seen (also because the adhd got in the way)
Yeah, in elementary school, I was put in a makeshift cubicle to isolate me and reduce the distractions I caused. My schooling was a product of my time, where the nail that stuck out got hammered down 😢 someone explained ADHD multitasking as being an octopus. For a task that takes two arms, you have to give the other arms something to do or they will distract the working arms.
This sounds like the era I also grew up in: Hammer down the nail that sticks out. And if it keeps popping out, hammer it harder. No one ever thought to look deeper to find the underlying issue that caused said "nail" to keep popping out again ... and again ... and again. I really enjoy an excellent metaphor, because once your listener gets the point, you can often build upon it and broaden their understanding. 🤓🥰 Thanks: I'll have to add Hammering the Nail to my arsenal of handy metaphors. 🤗❤️🩹
I love this analogy! Sorry to hear about your schooling experience. That must have been really tough. It took me a long time to realize I was instinctively working on keeping my extra octopus and busy, and not just being disruptive. As an adult, I've now figured ways to do this in more productive ways.
Yes! I never ever studied, did homework, or even went to class a lot of the time, but I consistently got As on tests - especially multiple choice tests. Part of it was simple process of elimination, but quite often it was entirely based on vibes.
@@kittykittykitty883 once i was in the middle of a end of year standardized test, and got about halfway though and a switch flipped in my brain and i just could not care anymore aobut this test so i then switched to making patterns on the answer sheet, they made me retake the test -_- after a parent teacher meeting where the teacher pointed out the exact place where i "stopped trying"
It me! I got a C in high school physics, not because I didn't understand the material, but because I couldn't memorize the formulas. I could derive them, but we weren't given time to do that. You either had instant recall of them to solve the problem, or you didn't finish the test.
always hated that dimensions were taught as something that we needed to remember to write, like a chore, but not as the insanely useful tools they are.
I feel personally attacked by "reading constantly until it was for a grade", because how else did I get so thoroughly clocked at such a distance? 🤣😭 Edit: AND THE DAMNED BACKPACK FULL OF FINISHED BUT FORGOTTEN ASSIGNMENTS. STOOOOOOOOP. 💀
Totally me. I remember in middle school history the teacher had us open our textbooks and read something. I think it was something about China. Anyways, I was not interested. I started flipping through the book to fidget and saw a chapter on the Olmecs. I was immediately hooked. Something about people who build step pyramids in the jungle. Mesoamerica. I love that kind of stuff. I didn't want to break the rules, so I tried to sneakily read it for a bit before I decided to just stop and follow the rules. And the big bummer is that the textbooks stayed in class. I never did get to read that whole chapter. But now I know a bit on the Olmecs, so I probably already know everything that was in the textbook.
This is so helpful. I am an elementary ESL Teacher who recently found out, has ADHD. I feel like smacking my head because I haven’t done a better job accommodating my students who have ADHD. Thanks for any ideas you have! I’ll put them to good use!
In some ways, I think having ADHD makes it HARDER to accommodate others who do- because we spent our whole lives being told what we were doing was wrong, and to stop our coping mechanisms, without being taught what to do instead. So when we see the problems in others, our gut instinct is to "help" how we were "helped" and enforce the rules that we were taught. Recognizing that was hugely helpful for me, and thinking about what was going on in my brain while I was doing similar things. One hugely helpful tool for me is "is that still helping you or has it become a distraction?' Because our helpful tools can sometimes backfire, and that prompt can help me either mentally redirect or choose a different tool.
Every teacher assessment in elementary school: he has potential but doesn't apply himself he has potential but doesn't apply himself he has potential but doesn't apply himself he has potential but doesn't apply himself
That one was the one that bothered me the most. I've talked about it in therapy😢 bad enough from teachers, then relentlessly repeated by family. We just apply ourselves differently. Hang in there, we got this
This was the worst for me, and like others was told to me at home too :( Finally diagnosed in my 50s, went back for a master’s degree and got a 4.0! What a difference knowing and accepting yourself makes :)
Let me guess - those same teachers never taught you how to (or gave you tools to use to) "apply yourself", right? Same as my middle school and high school. I decided to NOT keep those report cards - they're damaging to my morale!
I'm 45. I've spent most of my life studying and never at any point have I had a teacher do *anything* to support my ADHD. I had a clinical educator who used to stare at me like I was an idiot when I couldn't follow her long, rambling lectures in the middle of a busy ICU in hospital. Ironically, she had a son with ADHD, but because I (a woman) didn't present the same as a 13 year old boy, my struggles didn't count and it was just me not trying hard enough or disrespecting her by not listening. Looking back at the way I was treated by teacher after teacher makes me so mad today.
coupe of things I remember from school: being more focused on 'focusing on the teacher' than actually focusing on the teacher; always being told in my report cards and parent-teacher evenings that I needed to apply myself more; writing things in my school homework diary right at the moment it was assigned but then forgetting about it for like a week or two, and my mum would ask me if I had anything due for my next class in whatever subject it was and I'd go "I don't know". Bonus points for writing out my homework assignments on the wrong due date, or forgetting what my shorthand meant and having to actively go back through my memory to figure out what 'happy dagger essay' meant
5:00 There's a thing called reverse deja vu (or jemais vu) where you randomly forget something familiar, like you get lost in a town you've lived in for years, or become suddenly unable to play an instrument you know how to play, and the repetition actually makes it worse (Like when you say a word so many times that your brain decides it can't actually be real anymore). There's something in the repetition that makes your brain realize that it doesn't actually know the thing anymore, it's relying on another form of memory outside of your conscious awareness (auto-pilot) to do that thing, and spontaneously you millipedes dilemma your way into forgetting how to do it. It also happens under stress and/or lack of sleep (and as a symptom of migraine and seizure auras, as a form of transient aphasia). And there's speculation that it can also be tripped by a dopamine imbalance when your brain is only paying divided attention to something. I have no idea if that's related to the total blanking that happens when I need to remember my own phone number that I've had for 10 years and just gave to the check in desk 5 minutes ago, but it feels intuitively like it might be. I feel like it's still the repetition that breaks it somehow. Our lockers in school had the locks that come off and I just jammed a shim in mine that stopped the little ball/rod from catching, so I could walk up and pull the lock open. I got written up for that and told, "Well, if you don't USE the lock combination, you're NEVER going to remember it."
Crochet and knitting helped me focus during high school, college and languages lessons. I can crochet almost blindly under the table even in the gaps between taking notes. Luckily by then I had my ADHD diagnose and I could explain a bit when asked. Teachers were not always happy and sometimes I got in trouble, but I managed to get my degree so… Once a professor found me knitting during class and asked if it was a specific pattern. I was amazed he recognized it. It was very wholesome. I wish ADHD students were not forced to hide their yarn (or whatever). Doing extra activities does no harm to the rest of the group and it helps us focus. Even nowadays I bring my yarn on rides, to the bank and to the dentist.
I feel so understood! Crocheting by feel so I can let my mind pay attention to (insert important topic that isn't engaging enough to keep my mind from wandering, which is nearly everything). Yes, I have impulse control issues. Now, I'll go back and read the rest of your comment. 😉 ... and probably add more to my reply. 😂 Yep, Edit/Add: For doctors offices and hospital emergency rooms, I almost always remember to take yarn and a hook for the sake of my sanity. 😅 Plus, it's a good conversation starter, especially if someone actually recognizes that it's "crochet" (not knit) and asks more about the item I'm working on. Almost every item has a story. 🤗
In 9th grade I had a teacher who take any assignment with no penalty as long as it came in before the end of the quarter. The day before the end of the quarter I’d turn in 90% of the assignments we’d had, turned out to be my best class cause I could actually work on my own schedule
3:52 omg this unlocked a core memory. I always had a finger stuck in the page where the class was at when it came to reading aloud. And I made mental notes of „which phrases were the page turners“ when passing them. So when I heard it, I moved the page they were at… I also made it a game to see how much further ahead I could get during the lesson and was proud for every 10 page mark…
The locker code thing doesn't go away - it just becomes staring at the keypad on your apartment building's laundry room door, where your laundry is currently in the machines, and being completely unable to remember the code that you obviously knew 20min ago when you brought your laundry in the first place. (I keep the code saved in my phone for when this happens. Just gotta hope I remembered to bring my phone...)
I realized years ago that muscle memory and regular memory were different. If I knew that I had entered a code or password a hundred times already, I would close my eyes and try to let my hand start entering it. It worked about 70% of the time.
I'm 65 yrs old and retired computer programer. I learned early on in my ADHD world, when I can't remember something to stop thinking about it. LOL I would distract myself by thinking about something else. Magically, the thing I couldn't remember I suddenly remembered. I forget how to code something, think about driving home. Forget someone's name, look at their shoes. Forget the combination to a lock, quietly hum a song. Do anything I can to distract myself and 🎉 I remember. Suddenly, I'm distracted from my distraction by the memory of what I forgot. I'm in big trouble if I ever get dementia. 😂
My favorite is forgetting my pin for my debit card. I’ll stand there looking at the machine and that damned number just won’t come to me, despite using it multiple times every day.
8:15 And because of this, I now overcompensate for my time myopia by showing up at least 30 minutes before I need to be somewhere because I can never figure out how long it'll take to get anywhere so I leave early because it's better to be earlier and wait than to be late and face the consequences of that lateness.
Same Here! And then waiting an extra time for the Person who is always late, although you know the Person will BE late as usual - but what If the Person is in time and YOU will be late?!?
I've recognised a lot of ADHD traits in myself watching your videos for the last seceral months but this video made me cry at all the painful school memories that I had suppressed. Thank you.
Releasing the pain of past hurtful memories through tears can be therapeutic. ❤️🩹 Keep learning about neurodivergent brain types, and you may find some survival techniques that improve your chances of success where you regularly struggle.
AuDHDer here - from 4th grade to high school, my teachers figured out that I couldn't disrupt the class if they made me their class secretary. So for like five years in every class I was in, I had a desk next to the teacher's. If you wanted to talk to the teacher before the end of class (like go up to her desk, not raise your hand to ask questions) you had to ask me first. The way my teachers did it - by giving me a special job - actually made me proud of my problem and contributed to me figuring out how to properly engage with my peers.
i manage this as an adult by appointing myself as the note taker/secretary! work meetings. d&d sessions, anything, i pay attention by taking notes. and bonus, it helps me memorize things too!
I literary got my head put under running water in 1st grade because of it. I think that is my earliest memory of something I now know was a sign of ADHD (diagnosed last year, 36 years old, so that is 30! years ago).
I got similar! Mine was always "are you listening/paying attention?" To which the answer was....technically yes, but I'm not processing a single thing I'm hearing.
Reading yes I will read everything until it was an assignment. The homework was always done in the class before. Essays staying up the night before. But every teacher thought every essay was the best. Had to repeatedly teach the rest of the class the info for the essay. Assignments never turned in. Every planner was done for 1 week and then forgotten until the middle of the next year and thrown away. The shoes,🤣was walking at someones house and saw MY SHOES. I thought "those look like mine." They were. I had taken them off without realizing it. When I started college, I wrote out how much time I needed to work, study, school, travel, gym, everything. Came up with needing 26 hours a day. Close enough, I then couldn't figure out why I was not able to live this. Went back, FORGOT SLEEP. When my son was little like two, people would come up and ask me if I had tested him for ADHD. "Sweetie all two year olds have ADHD." When he was seven, his teacher recomended, I then had him tested. After he was tested, I explained to him what ADHD was. He thought for a second and said, "You have ADHD." I was originally diagnosed by a seven year old.
Oh my God! That's the most honest feedback I think you've probably ever gotten! Was that a confusing thing but at the same time a relief to hear from him? When he said that, did it all click into place?
My wife and I are both high-“functioning” ADHD but we didn’t find out until our daughter was diagnosed at 6 and the doc was asking about family history and was explaining behaviors to watch for
I was 35 yrs old. I am sitting in a counselor office with my 9 yr old son and my wife. Counselor explaining why he believes my son is ADHD. I noticed a couple of fun looking puzzle gadgets on the table next to my chair. I picked one up to check it out. It really caught my attention. In the background, I hear my wife call my name. I turn and look at her and the Dr as they are watching me. The Dr proceeded to explain how he believes I am ADHD. Darn puzzles were bait.😂
1. Books I couldn’t get through as assignments were fascinating when read for pleasure. 2. Forbidden from knitting during boring lectures, meetings and workshops even though I could concentrate better when I did Lots more! Didn’t have a clue that I might have ADHD until age 64, still can’t get a diagnosis.
Also, in college, to make myself write papers about stuff I found boring, I'd find a cool, completely unrelated quote and then tie the assignment topic to the quote throughout the paper. I guess I was gamifying it, but my profs thought I was brilliant, so yay? And yes that was the night before it was due or, sometimes, the morning before. And yes, feel free to use however. ;-)
Mine: getting notes on my report cards about how well I revise my essays when I know I've only written one draft and I finished it at 2AM the night before
You actually wrote a draft? I couln't bring myself to waste time writing it "wrong" and then doing it again; most I'd do was make a scribbled outline for myself (with crossings out and arrows redirecting paragraphs elsewhere) and edit as I wrote my "final" essay.
I don't know why, but I'm unable to watch any of your videos without crying. They make me feel so seen in ways I never have before by any other ADHD content creator, or any other human really. I just want to say thank you for what you do. I don't think you realise just how much of a difference it makes.
Oh gods these were all so relatable. Maybe not so much school related, but i absolutely THRIVED in Air Cadets as a kid for the 2 years I went. The rules were explicitly laid out, there was no room for misinterpretation, everyone was the same, so i could blend in for once. At summer camp I could actually stay organized, because you only had certain items with you, AND the systems to STAY organized were already in place! I was also on Wellbutrin at the time when i was that age (13-14), so maybe that had something to do with it as well a little bit. But we got to go gliding all the time, my second year, I got to be the copilot and fly with the captain. It just ticked all the right dopamine boxes. I'm nowhere near athletic, never have been, yet I still went and did drill team and biathlon. As for the education aspect: Struggling in school, but eventually managing to get into college. When I do, and got accommodations for the first time in my life, all of a sudden things are not a ginormous struggle, and I'm maintaining a 4.0 GPA.
Oh my gosh yes - Jessica's comments about 'fiddling' or 'fidgeting'. This followed me through into my professional life. I got told off so many times for doodling or fidgeting during meetings - it was bad 'optics' . But I was one of the most active meeting participants, and took great notes. As soon as I was told I had to stop doodling, I no longer was able track in meetings and got nothing out of them. This was years ago, I've sorted things out with the upper management now (getting an official diagnosis helped) but it was horrid that it continued even after I'd grown up and was technically allowed to 'adult'!
Mine would be time control! I could just stop all other time, till I am finished with whatever I need to do/want to do/should have had ready some days ago… Ah well, actually, nevermind. I would go totally insane managing real time/slowed down or stopped time…. And remembering to eat and stuff😅
This video is making it so clear for me that ive been dealing with adhd for a long time I always need to re-read exams after completion because there's always questions i forgot to answer or read. I rarely handed in math homework, and whenever i did it was completed in the minutes before the teacher came to class. In both literature and English literature id never know where we were because I'd read ahead. I had an assignment meant to be done over 3 months and i completed it in 2 days. Stayed up until 5am. Felt awful. Cried a lot. Got 98%. Happened to me with several classes with vague homework deadlines as well, because i waited until the very last minute. TO THIS DAY WITH MY JOB TOO, I'm always very close to being late because i never take into account how much time it takes to brush my teeth. Throughout highschool i developed origami as my focusing strategy and now in uni i try not to do it bc of the mess, but it's way harder for me to focus if im not folding too. In one class we needed to draw a scene we learned about. Of course, i drew a comic on a huge panel. In highschool we needed to present a known conflict in class. I turned it into a play. I know no one is gonna read this, but it's fun realizing in hindsight how obvious it was that i needed to get diagnosed.
I loved the large auditorium classrooms in college because I could do homework while listening to instructor. It actually made me retain both better. And was time effective so I could take that afternoon nap (if schedule allowed).
Going back many decades ago with ADHD in middle school . . . I'd fidget with the pages of the textbooks to dog-ear the pages. Had a propensity to be disruptive in classes that bored me. And had a predilection with homework procrastination. Thankfully, I was subjected to a psychology professional to do a workup profile on me. It resulted in being placed in a small class of special needs students . . . basically we were a bunch of misfits, where we got along exceptionally well. The teacher was tremendously patient with us. In high school I was placed back in the academic mainstream. The participation in after-school sports with its strenuous physical activity had a settling effect on me; and I behaved much better. But, I struggled with self-paced course curriculum classes; as well as algebra . How I didn't end up with a "F" in those classes was a miracle.
I heard this excellent quote somewhere relating to school assigments: "there's nothing worse than having enough time". Fits for many other situations as well
For me, sitting near the teacher was something I did voluntarily and continued to do in lectures in uni. Sitting so close made me feel watched as well as made the blackboard or presentation more in my face and the sound of the teacher's voice louder and other distractions less in my field of vision or attention. That combination really helps me to focus a bit more and a bit longer. (That and my teachers accepting that I was still paying attention when I was fidgeting or playing fidget-like games on my phone.)
Your videos made me seek a diagnosis, i've met with a psychologist, now i'm waiting for a doctor appointment, the more i learn about adhd the more i see similarities of it in my own life and struggles and i've realised ppl don't think like i think, thx ❤
Reading anything except what I was supposed to be reading is big. Cleaning anything except for the thing I'm supposed to be cleaning. Cleaning my room and making a bigger mess, because I took everything out of my dresser or off of my bookshelf and now how to figure out the proper way to reorganize it so that it makes more sense, but then get half way through it and end up cramming half of the stuff back even sloppier than before. High grades on tests and in-school work, almost never turned in a scrap of homework. I'm pretty sure the only reason I got through college was because I had a kid and 2 - 3 jobs, so everything was last minute or a cram session. It's been 17 years and I'm almost recovered from it. *Oh, I created my own alphabet for taking notes, because my teachers were boring and so is taking notes. At least writing in a made up alphabet worked my brain out and was way more entertaining and also kind of counted as doodling.
You'll get that on those big jobs. Especially the OCD... CDO? heavy days. I did this, "High grades on tests and in-school work, almost never turned in a scrap of homework!"
About the locker combination story. you asked why we do this and I am not sure this is a 100 percent why, but my therapist once told me that ADHD brains work like a filing cabinet system where we put information. but sometimes we forget where we put it or we file it in the wrong place, so it takes are brains sometimes longer to retrieve certain information. I liked this metaphor so I thought I would share it. hope this helps
I REALLY wish I knew I had ADHD in school🤦♂️ Just hearing the words "gym shorts" made me SO ANXIOUS!!!😱😭🤣 I can smell the cleaner they used, hear that horrible screaching in the basketball court, and over a decade later I'm still nauseous thinking about what they're going to make us do and what's in next period 🤣😭🤣😭
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago at age 43, though I’ve shown symptoms since I was 4. I tend to think of it as a challenge, but also as my super power. My hallmark is hyper focus. That makes me an incredibly fast learner, as long as I’m interested in or motivated by what I’m learning. But if I’m not interested… “squirrel!”. I also drive fast, and get impatient with other drivers. But I’ve never had an accident. Because I’m hyper focused. I don’t speak while I drive because I need to concentrate. Using the GPS on an unfamiliar highway is a HIGH PRESSURE situation for me 😂 (no speeding in those cases). But the thing I hate is that I need to be in my head while working, so I’m terrible in groups, unless I can be the silent participant who only chimes in once I’ve completed my mental brainstorm. I think we have a gift for seeing the big picture and working things out too. But I’m also an introvert, so I’m not sure if certain things are due to that combination. Bottom line is, DSM aside, I don’t see it as a disability. It’s more like an alternative brain functioning. I think neurotypical brains have as many challenges as we do, but in different ways.
Hello sister from another Mister! I relate 100% and omg yes on the gps!😂 my husband doesn't understand why I get so flustered and can't follow instructions from the gps or if we play a videogame I can't play AND read? Nope I'm hyperfocusing on using the buttons who's got brain capacity for reading that's what co-pilots are for 😂 Same for working that's why I went self-employed and remote working 15 years ago. I don't thrive in a group setting like brainstorming the struggle is real, like I'm fine socially but for actual work, no. And I understand you say it's not a disability, but it is when you're in an office environment and you're passed on promotions or even recognition because someone else was able to articulate or input more so on the surface looks like they are smarter or do more work when instead chance is you're actually doing most of the ground work but quietly.
@@MJBsays I NEVER do airport runs because I can never understand my way through the complicated routes to and within the airport itself. You wouldn't believe how many times I'd be driving there... at NIGHT.... be concentrating on the GPS with a route change coming up... AND THEN THE FREAKING PHONE RINGS AND IT'S MY HUSBAND ASKING IF I'M THERE YET. NO, I'M NOT THERE YET! AND GUESS WHAT?! I WAS 3 MINUTES AWAY BEFORE YOU BROKE MY FOCUS, BUT NOW I'VE TAKEN A WRONG TURN BECAUSE I MISSED MY EXIT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM OR WHAT TIME I'M GOING TO GET TO YOU!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫 (He finally gets it). And I definitely hear you on the disability piece, but what you describe so beautifully is systemic discrimination, not a disability. That's like saying being a woman is a disability if we get passed over for a job because a man gets the job because men don't have trouble with self-praise and taking credit (even when the credit is not due). I just hope that society in general, and employers, managers, HR people, start to appreciate the value that different ways of thinking and working can bring to table.
"Yes, do that again!" This one is extremely relatable. So many times I've squeaked by, and the result is I learned this unhealthy method of getting things done.
Having your planner, and writing in the test dates, etc... because that's what you're supposed to do. But then when home forget to look in your planner. When the test comes around the teacher asks you "didn't you write it in your planner?" Well yes, but that doesn't mean I remember to look in it
Doing the exercise part of a textbook instead of listening to the teacher because you already figured it out from the initial explanation and wanted to test it out immediately, and you didn't want to wait for the rest of the class to catch up.
The coolest thing I ever experienced, as a forever doodler, was going to a 3-day work training and they put colouring pages and markers on the tables and we were encouraged to colour DURING the sessions... This was years before my diagnosis, but it was so cool! I was so focused.
Freshman year: I will start working harder. Senior year: I will do better in college. Teacher with ADHD here. When it's due turn whatever you've done. It's way better than nothing.
This is a great video. I am an adult who was diagnosed when my first child was diagnosed over 20 years ago. Even though i have ticked 'yup' to every comment so far, i got distracted halfway thru the video and had to finish it later.
This actually made me cry for a moment because I never understood why school was such a challenge and why I struggled yet I could still get good grades. I would literally forget I had homework until I was in the Quad before school and everyone would mention it then I would be desperately trying to get it done before classes. The organized color coded planner was what made me cry. The true attempt and optimism I would stay organized this year to completely fall off in the first month. I still struggle with this. I think my contribution to this would be even getting to graduate with a diploma. I was in the "no child left behind" era. Now truly I did not understand math. I also had teachers that didn't care to help to help. I failed the proficiency exams every year. Your senior year you had multiple chances at the exam. Every exam I failed by just a few points. I think passing was 240 and I was always in the 230 range. I struggled. I stressed. Finally we had ONE last chance about a month before graduation. My school put together an after school program to help us 3 days a week to study. The teacher, who I wish I always had, understood how to help teach me and taught me more in the month of after school classes then I had my whole hs career. The one on one really helped focus where i struggled. On the last attempt I passed with an above average score only a few points off of the 300 max score. Talk about that last minute adhd cram. Whe it's urgent and when you're in crunch with your back against the wall. I've never been so proud or cried so much. I thought I was going to graduate a B student with a "certificate of completion". But i actually got my diploma. But then there is memory loss immediately. I did actually understand the questions on the test. But then I needed to test into college math and did not so great again because I didn't retain all that information. 🙃 Moral of the story. I hate math and adhd probably didn't help. But my math profiency exam story is the extreme example of how I always have run and still had no idea i probably has ADHD. I didn't even put two and two together until recently in my 30s. Also this is probably so incoherent I almost don't want to push send so hopefully I made any sense.
Don't worry, this made perfect sense. You're not alone. I have ADHD too, and ironically, I work as a tutor at a technical college...but I don't do math. That's the one subject I cannot tutor beyond basic stuff like fractions and decimals. Anything having to do with algebra or above? Forget it! Thankfully, I have coworkers who are gifted in math, so I can focus on helping with other subjects. But I completely understand and feel your pain. Math sucks!
ADD diagnosis. I was a huge underachiever. The rare times I was inspired to do my best, I got accused of cheating. So signs from the school years - You were accused of cheating when you didn't.
Feedback from a teacher my parents once got: "David seems like he's never paying attention in class, but then when I call on him with a question he always knows the answer".
10:09 yeah one of my professors in college asked me to stay after class and told me to stop drawing in her class because it was rude that I wasn’t paying attention. I told her I was listening with my ears and showed her that I had everything from the board in my notes and then some, and told her to “take it up with the disability office, it’s right upstairs”
I loved what you said about universal classroom design! It would be great to have a video about that topic, both as a resource for teachers and also for those of us with ADHD so we can better advocate for ourselves.
I couldn't cope with School Assembly. So I would do vision mixing (in the US it's called video switching) and direct the assembly in my head . I had a crew of 4 cameras, and using my fingers on my lap, I would invisibly cut between the imaginary cameras and even have a conversation in my head with the imaginary crew. It was the only way to get through that 30 minutes. Looking back, and finally understanding it now, I am so proud of that little guy.
When I was doing my A levels (British qualifications you usually do aged 17-18) I got a D in my first year English, mainly because I couldn't make myself read the book my coursework was based upon. I wouldn't get into Uni with a D. In my final exam, I crammed and crammed and came out with an A, which brought my total up to the C I needed. That turned out to be the highest grade I got in any of my A levels exams over 2 years. I never understood why I could only achieve grades like this when the pressure was on.
Not related to this video specifically but youve really helped me at a point where i was struggling big time. Its made me feel a lot more certain and encouraged me 6 months off turning 30 to actually try and get a diagnosis.
those times in class where we'd go around a circle and each person would read a paragraph were THE WORST - so painful and the quickest way for me to have zero empathy for struggling readers. i was three pages ahead when it got to my turn and then i'd have no idea where we were. this is also why I can't watch tv with subtitles on - it just ruins the timing of everything. high school English classes were quite bad for me even though I love reading and love books. i failed so many reading quizzes because I couldn't make myself get through wuthering heights or the hobbit.
The putting-your-shoes-on-time is so real and is STILL something I struggle with! Forever grateful to my bus drivers through the years who would wait an extra minute so I could catch up at a dead sprint (we were the last stop on the route, so it didn't make anyone else late)
Hey, would it be feasible to add captions to these kinds of videos in other languages? I couldn’t help but think this would be a great way to help my mom (a primarily Spanish speaker who I think also has ADHD) and others start to understand ADHD-you provide concrete examples with explanations and commentary on how ADHD can manifest and why. Also…maybe an exploration of ADHD in other languages and cultures? That sounds like a topic good for at least a few videos and possibly dozens if you have the right connections…
This is a fantastic video! So relate to the one about getting moved for talking in class. I remember my teacher was so exasperated that she tried everything to keep me from talking to my best friend. First, she put him in the back on the other side of the room and we talked across the back of the classroom. When she got tired of us distracting the whole back of the room, she sat him at the front of my row and he would turn around to talk to me and we'd disturb our entire row of desks. When she got tired of admonishing him for always seeing his back, she finally gave up and let him sit next to me, cause if we were next to each other in the back, at least we weren't disturbing everybody else...
I haven’t been diagnosed yet because finding someone who diagnoses adults is hard. But for me it’s that I love starting projects but I hate finishing them or don’t finish them at all (smaller projects are usually fine). Puzzles, sewing, crocheting, drawing or work for school or university. No matter how early I start I won’t finish it until the very last moment. I have multiple projects lying around that I need to finish, but the initial excitement is gone
Holy hell the point you make about the COST of our high performance made me remember why I subscribed in the first place. YOU GET IT and it so comforting to know other people understand.
In middle school, I used to pull apart and play with my mechanical pencils and use the tops as the "heads" of people. Really just any pen or pencil, if I could disassemble it, I would. And there was some sort of dramatic story going on in my head as to why the pen was being disassembled and then reassembled. It was always a romantic adventure drama
I can relate to so many of these lol. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 42. It explained so much about my life lol. I love your channel and listened to your book on Audible. It's awesome and I recommend you to everyone to learn more about ADHD. Thank you so much for what you do :)
Time management is hard. I block everything out in hours. It might only physically take 20mins but I tell myself it's a hour to give myself the best chance of getting there on time. It's nice to have a place and people that know how it feels to live with adhd
What's funny is that I do this in church, too. Literally will read what the preacher read, then will read an extra two chapters for some reason. Didn't think about that until this video 😂
@@angemarie12 daydreamed in church a lot as a kid. Was a struggle to sit still, and refrain from chatter. Felt like I was focused more on paying attention rather than understanding and my head would hurt. After? I'd gallop run outside out of relief the times I could get away with it 😂
@@angemarie12 daydreamed in church a lot as a kid. Was a struggle to sit still, and refrain from chatter. Felt like I was focused more on paying attention rather than understanding and my head would hurt. After? I'd gallop run outside out of relief the times I could get away with it 😂
OMG I resonate so deeply with all of these, especially the reading ahead because I was BORED and avoiding actual reading assignments because I was reading something else! 💀 I was so 2e that teachers would ask me to help other kids with their homework but then I would constantly forget to do/turn in my own homework. I would also constantly fall asleep at my desk because I couldn't get my brain to shut up so I could sleep the night before.
4:56 I think the part about doing something repeatedly during a day and then forgetting it on the 5th try is because you were either doing something out of muscle memory (opening a lock) and started to pay attention on the 5th term which could cause you to have to consciously think about what you’re doing and overthink the steps so you forget how to do it / become anxious about the thing… or you were only remembering how to do it with your working memory and you’ve forgotten now
As someone who was first moved away from my friend, then put behind a partition to block me from whomever I was next to, and eventually moved out into the hallway for talking in 4th grade I can fully attest to it not only being hurtful but it also laid the groundwork for feeling like I was fundamentally not wanted around by anyone.
A really big one for me was the constant need to be moving. I was either shaking my leg or wriggling in my seat or drawing or whatever other thing got my motor skills used. I needed my the input of my body moving to help center my focus.
I did my homework but would forget to turn it in, or it would magically not be in my backpack. That, and reading an entire book at 2:00am because the book report was do the next day.
I wish people talked more about how to cope with working and ADHD 😭 I hope that topic can be the focus of your next video. I have been fired from several jobs because I had the gall to be ADHD presenting (and unmedicated, undiagnosed)
What made me not lose my binder was, weirdly enough, being emotionally stable and regulated. Like, I'd forget everything and hate myself for it last year, but now that my life is better and I'm working on myself, I'm forgetting a bit less now :) oh, and getting a test paper gives me excitement, so i immediately reach for my binder under my table to go put it in. it's like i'm collecting 'em! Edit: Taking notes can also be stimulating for me, which I'm lucky to have :,)
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I don't know if I'm ADHD specifically. But I do know what one of the kindest things a college professor said to me was. When a classmate tried to rat me out for writing my paper the night before, he just looked at them and said "she may not have written a word until last night, but she has been working on it in her head for weeks." I felt so relieved that, even though my process was different than my classmates', that was ok.
That was a hater. Lol
I have done that so many times!
That college profesor sounds god send. I can relate to your work process and am thanking your professor for puttting words to process I find mysfelf to often.For somehtings I really need to write/process in my head (for the amount of time it takes) before I put anything on paper. Just realised a couple of years ago (I am 46) that is not procrestination even it can look like it from the outside (and internalised otuside viev, if that make sense :):
I feel seen.
I also do this. I feel like I can not start typing the assignment or plan the lesson (I'm a teacher) until I have planned the content and formatted the order of the assignment in my head.
“The inconsistency is the disability.” That hit hard.
+
Me too. It’s such an issue.
Yes!
so much promise and talent
every time you are working to adopt a way of function. "i got it, i got it... im doing it" then "dang it" or after some time, "when did i stop trying to do that?"
"Reading everything, unless it's for an assignment", same here. The only teacher who understood/appeared to understand was my Year 10 English teacher Mr Anderson. Everyone in the class had to read x number of pages of any book, and write about it in a "reading journal". I did the reading, but not the writing. Everyone who hadn't done it got detention. In detention I was the first person he asked "Why didn't you do it?" - "I did, I read xyz, I just didn't write about it" - "Ok, tell me what happens in xyz"... After about a minute of me monologuing in detail about whatever book it was, he stopped me and said "I believe you, you can go" . After that I never once wrote in the journal and he never gave me detention for it again, he would just check in to see what/if I was reading, bless him
oof, I go further ... I read a LOT... but not for assignments... IF I did manage to read something for an assignment, I'd forget what I read...
this would have helped me so much... I was the same in school.
The continued trust he gave you once you demonstrated you'd done it makes me well up almost to tears. Thank you for sharing that.
Ya thats kind of what i did except id show up to class and pretend not to understand the question and then they’d start talking about it and i would explain the whole thing and they’d be like ah you know the material and i got a’s and b’s
That is an accommodation now though! You can choose to dictate your work or record it or just verbally explain it or have someone scribe for you
Every SINGLE report card containing some variation of "she's very bright but could achieve more if she focused"
Same! 😢 sending you hugs 🤗
Oh, gosh, yes! "Talks to much" was common on mine.
Ditto
Yes, a teacher told my mother that I was smart, “if only she would apply herself.”
@@victorialaur omg, this was the most common comment from my teachers!
It gave me the constant feeling that I was being lazy so much that I still feel guilty when I’m not doing something.
I truly appreciate you reminding us that “the inconsistency IS the disability”.❤
The inconsistency seems to be the only consistent thing about it, really 😅
Thank you, yes, exactly. I've lost count of the times people have told me "You should monetise this [fill in whatever brilliant thing I've just done]!" and I *know* they're being nice and I should learn to accept praise, but it's actually really hard because I know I'm just having one of those days when I can do that particular thing well....
@@1midnightfishI feel this completely
@@brendatomlinson Thank you ❤
I don’t even remember her saying that
When did she say it?
"You can't finish this project in a day, start on it early"
-Challenge accepted because it has never been a problem before
I got through grade school and high school that way, but college was a rude awakening for my study/project habits.
@@buffalo_expat_bill That happened to me too!!! 😱😮
I had a college math professor say, you won't get an A unless you do the (non-graded) homework. And then he went over the homework every day in detail in class. Yeah that was an A, no homework necessary.
I wrote a 12 page essay on Dantes Inferno in 16 hours and got an 85. The first two hours were dedicated to finding my sources. We had a month to write this paper.
Never felt so simultaneously accomplished, dumb, and stressed in my life.
My teacher gave a weird question that nobody has answered I got so curious that I almost lost for 3 days then Came up with the answer.
He gave me a gift for this.
He quoted that -You have potential but somehow you can't do better at the exam hall...
Sometimes I tell myself Ahh if I can Focus consistently everyday I might do way better.
As a teacher, thank you for educating me about students playing with things in the drawer! I’ll give those students some quiet fidget toys instead of taking away their baskets in the drawers as I always do.
Thank you for caring!!
Thank you for recognizing an action that could change to better help students! ❤
I have found different ribbons or haberdashery items can act as a quiet fidget. I love the feeling of satin or velvet, so that might also work for some students.
@@randomname1152 I second this! Also marble meshes/boinks, crocheted pop-its (WAY quieter than the silicone ones), and those little flippy ones made out of bike chain. Those are some of my favorite quiet fidgets.
@@randomname1152grosgrain ribbons (the ones with ridges running short ways) are a great texture for fidgeting. Satin ones too if you need it to be smooth
I, unhh, clicked on your video while I was watching your video... restarting the video. 🤔
I literally just did the same and then saw this comment 🤣
Lol! Ditto! And my kids too!
omg calling a new semester ADHD new years is so accurate haha😆
Also the classic "There's a BACK SIDE OF THE WORKSHEET?!"
Ooooh, something that happened to me a lot in math was that I would forget a sign in the middle of the problem and mysteriously the negatives would turn into positives just two steps away from solving the equations, so I would end up with the wrong answer. I never thought that had anything to do with ADHD!
I had a mini heart attack in class when I saw there was a back side of the worksheet- luckily the questions were super easy lol 😅😆
Idk if teachers know this now, but doodling during class really helped. I got detention for it and had my “artwork” stapled to my pink slip. Teachers. If someone is quietly doodling during your lesson that doesn’t mean they’re not listening.
I was NEVER not doodling.
I do that frequently!
I had to doodle to! That sucks… wow.
Mine knew I was paying attention thankfully
I will just check in with them to try and prompt kids to stay in touch with a lesson. If they don’t hear me, then they are lost later and I don’t want anyone missing recess or any of those things teachers used to do to help kids learn.
Having your grades in the same class fluctuate massively because of a different teacher. The one you love paying attention to and the one you don't.
Yesssssss.
i had a few english teachers over the years, and last year, i had a terrible one. I wrote multiple 5s, which is german grades for an E. This year im in 12th grade and have a really cool dude from the UK. Im writing ones again... (meaning A's) :D
@@mistermistero652 I had two very different english teachers back-to-back in school. The first one was really good at holding open discussions with the class and getting me interested in what we were studying. I probably got my best english class grades that year. The next year my teacher ended up assigning us one of the same book. I got a zero on my essay that year.
After no support with ADHD in school, I'm currently an adult learner at a college awaiting an ADHD diagnosis and they have offered me a support person who specifically specialises in ADHD! As well as being allowed to get up and walk around, extra time, use of a computer in an exam and thr ability to pause the clock! In my conversation they mentioned how I had so many strategies, and you're the reason why! Thank you for keeping me afloat🙂
Aw thank you for saying that!! I needed that today 🥰
I didn't suspect I have ADHD until I was in my 30s... before that I thought I was lazy and foolish and that's why I dropped out of uni and underachieved evwrywhere. I _am_ lazy and foolish but that's not why I struggle 😄
I never even thought of letting my College know as an adult...
I would read ahead, and then get lost and then be behind 😂
oh wow that would have been so helpful, I didn't know I had ADHD until last year, way after college
Agggh so many of these are so relatable. Another one: asking for help from the teacher (usually for math), getting a good, patient explanation, thinking, "Oh, I get it now!", and then immediately forgetting that flash of insight when it came to doing the problems on my own.
Yes. Omg. I even attended after school math help sessions and would STILL completely forget by the next day. 😅
Absolutely this one. A sizeable part of why doing homework was like nailing jello to a wall. I couldn't remember how to do the work outside the classroom.
This is so like me...
Word!
This
This is completely un-related to the video, but anyways
I've been trying to write short stories for about 5 years but every single time i would get distracted with another idea and give up on the story, which would then inevitably happen to the new idea.
Finally after about 35(ish) stories, I finally manged to finish one!
It's about 2000 words long and I'm so proud of it!
That's my achievement for the week.
That's so relatable - congrats on finishing one! 🥳
That's just sooo me, it makes me cry...
I fu....ing want to finish ANYTHING!
I play the piano for 7 years now, and i still cant play a single piece start to end ...
I can play the first 30-60sec of around 20 pieces but thats it. 😞😞😞
Hooray! Super proud of you!
That my friend is worthy of a year achievement!!! Or life. I am so so so proud of you!!!! Im yet to finish a painting haha
the amount of notebooks I had with like one chapter of a fantasy series I totally wanted to write...
excitedly raising my hand in class when i heard only one word the teacher said and my brain filled in the rest. the teacher didn't ask a question or ask for volunteers, but i was super ready for what i thought was going on.
Omg that's so relatable!!
Yeahhh I will randomly say things that I think is the answer even when the teacher is still talking
In my college history class this is hard because I get stuff wrong like 50% or more of the time and the professor sometimes stops the listen because they think I have a question
Yes in nursing school I was punished for asking questions and only allowed 2 per class I felt so ashamed ( I was a 40 year old and unaware I had ADHD)
@@angelikafieseler741that’s horrible! It’s so important to ask questions, to actually limit questions is so problematic!
Realizing in the gifted program that I forgot the homework assignment (as always) about personal goals and, as homework was being collected, I scribbled “My goal is my wish that I could remember homework assignments.” Took another 20 years to be diagnosed ADHD. 😅
i was wishing for that feeling which guaranteed me good grades on exams. I never could reliably get there and got reinforcement after reinforcement about my observations. And it wasnt confidence. It was just a flow.
💀😂
22-year-old me flunking out of a grad program on a project I wasn't super excited about and had NO support with vs 32-year-old me graduating with a Masters degree with a 4.0 on a project I came up with myself (and was super excited about) and asking for (and getting) the support I knew I needed by then.
This!
In eighth grade, I had a joint project between my English and Social Studies(/history) classes, and my lovely English teacher let me pick the subject (I was really into Marvel at the time, and the general topic was WWII, so I asked to do my project on Captain America - she let me do 'propaganda', which included Captain America, Rosie the Riveter, and Uncle Sam). Not only did I really appreciate that, but I /actually worked on the project outside of class/ AND I finished it BEFORE the deadline!!! Then my horrible Social Studies teacher took a point off because I kept saying "uh/um" while I was presenting. I would've had 100% otherwise. This video also reminded me of just how awful that same S.S. teacher was to me because of other ADHD behaviors I displayed, like drawing in class. He actually YELLED at me several times, singled me out, and made me cry. This adult man really told a 14 year old that they were a disappointment to their parents WHILE I WAS ALREADY CRYING. He also never remembered my first name and only referred to me by my last name, since he had also taught my older siblings. Sorry for rambling but I hate that man so much. I heard he recently retired though, so good riddance.
I can tell you did get sad reading about the forgetfulness by the tone of your voice 😢 it really is one of the hardest things to overcome for me because it makes me look like I don’t care at times
same!! it's one of the biggest misunderstandings I have to combat, we DO care we just struggle sometimes
@@HowtoADHD Yeah, I still carry an imprint of a fight with my mom decades ago because I f.cking forgot to look at the date and it was her birthday. I knew it, I just didn't realize it was already that day. Still haunts me. Happened again with my husband's bd last year. At least he's the same brain and knows I do care.
@@the_ecips9692❤
The punishing and singling kids out because of their energy/constant questioning- that spoke to me. Yes! I wasn’t a bad kid, I was unsocialized with other kids my age and punished for what resulted. Time outs, red cards, being moved, being told to stop asking questions- I could have been such a more confident person long term.
It’s amazing how your perspective changes when you’re told you’re not broken, you’re different.
Also when the teacher's open annoyance at being asked questions encourages the rest of the class to start rolling their eyes and making snide comments until you're shamed into no longer asking questions and spend the rest of the year in class pleasure reading instead of bothering to get invested in the presented material.
“The inconsistency *is* the disability” oh my GOD this is such a good way to put it. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try to be on time for things, the effort put into something seems to have no effect on whether or not I succeed.
I was talking with my friend about this since it’s putting strain on our relationship, and when I told her my grip on time is not something I’m really able to control she said “oh, so you’re just not going to try anymore?”
I didn’t even have words to further explain myself that was so jarring and hurtful. She didn’t even see how it could be hurtful since she was only seeing the effect and not the immense amount of work I am always doing to just be on time HALF the time.
I relate to this so hard, am always hurt when people around me don't see the imens amount of efort I put into the things I than fail at... And of course they only see the result (that I didn't turn up on time) and not how hard I am trying since ever to manage...
I was the high-anxiety straight-A kind of neurodivergent, but there were still signs. I'm still proud of the day where my Spanish teacher caught me reading a novel under the desk and called on me to answer a question. Without missing a beat, I answered the question and went back to reading. She didn't say anything else.
This was how I coped with being bored in classes where I was ahead of everyone else (which was most classes).
i did the same thing in my english class! LOL. but now as an adult i can bately focus on one thing
Me too! Only in English and history
@@SilverTwilight that brings back core memories of school, I would do something else and still be able to answer the question
This sounds like you were just intelligent, rather than ADHD. I mean, that's sounds just like being a good student and a bit ahead of the class.
Where was the anxiety?
I did the same thing in elementary!!
My teacher punished me by banning me from going to the library during recess. And taking away other privileges even though I was a good student and at the top of my class, just bored
My family nickname was Jessica-go-to-bed. I always got in trouble for talking in elementary school. During middle school I was absent an average of 1 day per week from missing the bus, sleeping in or deciding I didn't feel like it. By high school, I was pulling all nighters for every paper & did homework only while physically in school but graduated with honors. Abject fear of failure is the only way I managed productivity.
Hard relate
I relate sooooo much
I’m watching this video with wireless headphones on while rushing to get ready for college (It’s 30 minutes after I was supposed to leave) when I realised I didn’t remember where I left my phone. I had to disconnect my headphones and follow the sound of your voice until I found you in the cupboard next to a jar of honey
Im 14, living in the uk and I me and my dad have strong feelings that I have adhd, but the waiting lists here are very long, shortage of medication and not enough research in girls and I don’t get support, but your videos help me manage my room and my mind so much better. Thank you
As a fellow ADHD Brit, but older than you, it's awesome to hear you have this sort of self-awareness during your school years, for me it didn't come until well after completing university! But agreed, the NHS waiting lists are absolutely dire as a result of under-funding for years. If your family is lucky enough to afford a private assessment then I can absolutely recommend taking that route. A good NHS GP and specialist should be willing to accept a private diagnosis with only a little work to make sure the private doctor was working in good faith (sadly there are some who don't work in good faith). You may then be able to get NHS treatment without waiting through the queue for an NHS diagnosis/assessment
Start the process even though it's long! Your future self will thank you! I'm currently 31 and have been trying to get assessment since I was 19. I'm now 4 years into what's expected to be a 5 year wait to the top of the NHS waiting list. It may not help you much while you're at school (although some schools put in accommodations before diagnosis), but even if you get seen at 20 that's still going to be a massive improvement. Being an Adult with ADHD is pretty damn difficult, so it'll be worth the wait. It's also more difficult to get accommodations without a diagnosis for adult things than for school things. The sooner you start the sooner you'll get the help you need. Ask your mum for help if you and your dad struggle to get the ball rolling
(Edit: just realised I read your thing wrong and that’s it you and your dad who think you have it rather than you think you both have it, in which case I’m sure he can be the one to help get the ball rolling if he also agrees you’re likely to have it)
@mikaism - as another UK possible ADHDer, please look into "right to choice" its basically going to a private practice through the NHS and will cut down wait times a lot
Yes please get the ball rolling now if you can. Been trying for many, many years instead of just getting treated for depression, anxiety etc. In my 40s now and current dr is useless. Good luck!
@@alexandra1415 this is a very good tip. 2 years into my wait I convinced my mother to get checked too as I could see the symptoms she has. She got seen by Psychiatry UK within a couple months and has had her diagnosis confirmed. Only reason I didn’t do the same was that I didn’t want to lose my spot on my waiting list and was under the false impression that I was already close to being seen (also because the adhd got in the way)
"The number of times I avoided a reading assignment by reading something else" is SUCH HIGHLY RELATEABLE CONTENT.
Yeahhh I would so rather read website than have my history textbook read to me
Yeah, in elementary school, I was put in a makeshift cubicle to isolate me and reduce the distractions I caused. My schooling was a product of my time, where the nail that stuck out got hammered down 😢 someone explained ADHD multitasking as being an octopus. For a task that takes two arms, you have to give the other arms something to do or they will distract the working arms.
That is a brilliant and accurate way to describe it!
ha! that's a great analogy, my productivity skyrockets when I have something just distracting enough using my extra arms :D
This sounds like the era I also grew up in: Hammer down the nail that sticks out. And if it keeps popping out, hammer it harder. No one ever thought to look deeper to find the underlying issue that caused said "nail" to keep popping out again ... and again ... and again.
I really enjoy an excellent metaphor, because once your listener gets the point, you can often build upon it and broaden their understanding.
🤓🥰
Thanks: I'll have to add Hammering the Nail to my arsenal of handy metaphors.
🤗❤️🩹
Love this!
I love this analogy!
Sorry to hear about your schooling experience. That must have been really tough.
It took me a long time to realize I was instinctively working on keeping my extra octopus and busy, and not just being disruptive. As an adult, I've now figured ways to do this in more productive ways.
Not studying for a test but figuring out the answers during it. I've derived formulas during exams just based on what units I needed for the response.
Yes! I never ever studied, did homework, or even went to class a lot of the time, but I consistently got As on tests - especially multiple choice tests. Part of it was simple process of elimination, but quite often it was entirely based on vibes.
@@kittykittykitty883 once i was in the middle of a end of year standardized test, and got about halfway though and a switch flipped in my brain and i just could not care anymore aobut this test so i then switched to making patterns on the answer sheet, they made me retake the test -_- after a parent teacher meeting where the teacher pointed out the exact place where i "stopped trying"
It me! I got a C in high school physics, not because I didn't understand the material, but because I couldn't memorize the formulas. I could derive them, but we weren't given time to do that. You either had instant recall of them to solve the problem, or you didn't finish the test.
always hated that dimensions were taught as something that we needed to remember to write, like a chore, but not as the insanely useful tools they are.
@@priestessaranel the neurotypicals are not ready for us
I feel personally attacked by "reading constantly until it was for a grade", because how else did I get so thoroughly clocked at such a distance? 🤣😭
Edit: AND THE DAMNED BACKPACK FULL OF FINISHED BUT FORGOTTEN ASSIGNMENTS. STOOOOOOOOP. 💀
Me too! I would read 20 books a week in summers but you couldn't MAKE ME read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Six weeks dragging it out.
@@turnoffthetv I once wrote 40 pages of a fanfiction (never completed it of course) instead of learning for my exams... 🥴😵
Totally me. I remember in middle school history the teacher had us open our textbooks and read something. I think it was something about China. Anyways, I was not interested. I started flipping through the book to fidget and saw a chapter on the Olmecs. I was immediately hooked. Something about people who build step pyramids in the jungle. Mesoamerica. I love that kind of stuff. I didn't want to break the rules, so I tried to sneakily read it for a bit before I decided to just stop and follow the rules. And the big bummer is that the textbooks stayed in class. I never did get to read that whole chapter. But now I know a bit on the Olmecs, so I probably already know everything that was in the textbook.
This is so helpful. I am an elementary ESL Teacher who recently found out, has ADHD. I feel like smacking my head because I haven’t done a better job accommodating my students who have ADHD. Thanks for any ideas you have! I’ll put them to good use!
In some ways, I think having ADHD makes it HARDER to accommodate others who do- because we spent our whole lives being told what we were doing was wrong, and to stop our coping mechanisms, without being taught what to do instead. So when we see the problems in others, our gut instinct is to "help" how we were "helped" and enforce the rules that we were taught. Recognizing that was hugely helpful for me, and thinking about what was going on in my brain while I was doing similar things. One hugely helpful tool for me is "is that still helping you or has it become a distraction?' Because our helpful tools can sometimes backfire, and that prompt can help me either mentally redirect or choose a different tool.
Every teacher assessment in elementary school:
he has potential but doesn't apply himself
he has potential but doesn't apply himself
he has potential but doesn't apply himself
he has potential but doesn't apply himself
Where did you find my report cards?
This hurts to remember
That one was the one that bothered me the most. I've talked about it in therapy😢 bad enough from teachers, then relentlessly repeated by family. We just apply ourselves differently. Hang in there, we got this
This was the worst for me, and like others was told to me at home too :( Finally diagnosed in my 50s, went back for a master’s degree and got a 4.0! What a difference knowing and accepting yourself makes :)
Let me guess - those same teachers never taught you how to (or gave you tools to use to) "apply yourself", right? Same as my middle school and high school. I decided to NOT keep those report cards - they're damaging to my morale!
I'm 45. I've spent most of my life studying and never at any point have I had a teacher do *anything* to support my ADHD. I had a clinical educator who used to stare at me like I was an idiot when I couldn't follow her long, rambling lectures in the middle of a busy ICU in hospital. Ironically, she had a son with ADHD, but because I (a woman) didn't present the same as a 13 year old boy, my struggles didn't count and it was just me not trying hard enough or disrespecting her by not listening. Looking back at the way I was treated by teacher after teacher makes me so mad today.
coupe of things I remember from school: being more focused on 'focusing on the teacher' than actually focusing on the teacher; always being told in my report cards and parent-teacher evenings that I needed to apply myself more; writing things in my school homework diary right at the moment it was assigned but then forgetting about it for like a week or two, and my mum would ask me if I had anything due for my next class in whatever subject it was and I'd go "I don't know". Bonus points for writing out my homework assignments on the wrong due date, or forgetting what my shorthand meant and having to actively go back through my memory to figure out what 'happy dagger essay' meant
5:00 There's a thing called reverse deja vu (or jemais vu) where you randomly forget something familiar, like you get lost in a town you've lived in for years, or become suddenly unable to play an instrument you know how to play, and the repetition actually makes it worse (Like when you say a word so many times that your brain decides it can't actually be real anymore). There's something in the repetition that makes your brain realize that it doesn't actually know the thing anymore, it's relying on another form of memory outside of your conscious awareness (auto-pilot) to do that thing, and spontaneously you millipedes dilemma your way into forgetting how to do it. It also happens under stress and/or lack of sleep (and as a symptom of migraine and seizure auras, as a form of transient aphasia). And there's speculation that it can also be tripped by a dopamine imbalance when your brain is only paying divided attention to something.
I have no idea if that's related to the total blanking that happens when I need to remember my own phone number that I've had for 10 years and just gave to the check in desk 5 minutes ago, but it feels intuitively like it might be. I feel like it's still the repetition that breaks it somehow.
Our lockers in school had the locks that come off and I just jammed a shim in mine that stopped the little ball/rod from catching, so I could walk up and pull the lock open. I got written up for that and told, "Well, if you don't USE the lock combination, you're NEVER going to remember it."
Crochet and knitting helped me focus during high school, college and languages lessons. I can crochet almost blindly under the table even in the gaps between taking notes. Luckily by then I had my ADHD diagnose and I could explain a bit when asked. Teachers were not always happy and sometimes I got in trouble, but I managed to get my degree so…
Once a professor found me knitting during class and asked if it was a specific pattern. I was amazed he recognized it. It was very wholesome.
I wish ADHD students were not forced to hide their yarn (or whatever). Doing extra activities does no harm to the rest of the group and it helps us focus. Even nowadays I bring my yarn on rides, to the bank and to the dentist.
I feel so understood! Crocheting by feel so I can let my mind pay attention to (insert important topic that isn't engaging enough to keep my mind from wandering, which is nearly everything).
Yes, I have impulse control issues. Now, I'll go back and read the rest of your comment. 😉 ... and probably add more to my reply. 😂
Yep, Edit/Add:
For doctors offices and hospital emergency rooms, I almost always remember to take yarn and a hook for the sake of my sanity. 😅 Plus, it's a good conversation starter, especially if someone actually recognizes that it's "crochet" (not knit) and asks more about the item I'm working on. Almost every item has a story. 🤗
In 9th grade I had a teacher who take any assignment with no penalty as long as it came in before the end of the quarter. The day before the end of the quarter I’d turn in 90% of the assignments we’d had, turned out to be my best class cause I could actually work on my own schedule
3:52 omg this unlocked a core memory. I always had a finger stuck in the page where the class was at when it came to reading aloud. And I made mental notes of „which phrases were the page turners“ when passing them. So when I heard it, I moved the page they were at… I also made it a game to see how much further ahead I could get during the lesson and was proud for every 10 page mark…
The locker code thing doesn't go away - it just becomes staring at the keypad on your apartment building's laundry room door, where your laundry is currently in the machines, and being completely unable to remember the code that you obviously knew 20min ago when you brought your laundry in the first place. (I keep the code saved in my phone for when this happens. Just gotta hope I remembered to bring my phone...)
I realized years ago that muscle memory and regular memory were different. If I knew that I had entered a code or password a hundred times already, I would close my eyes and try to let my hand start entering it. It worked about 70% of the time.
I'm 65 yrs old and retired computer programer. I learned early on in my ADHD world, when I can't remember something to stop thinking about it. LOL I would distract myself by thinking about something else. Magically, the thing I couldn't remember I suddenly remembered. I forget how to code something, think about driving home. Forget someone's name, look at their shoes. Forget the combination to a lock, quietly hum a song. Do anything I can to distract myself and 🎉 I remember. Suddenly, I'm distracted from my distraction by the memory of what I forgot.
I'm in big trouble if I ever get dementia. 😂
Computer passwords are the new locker codes . . .
My favorite is forgetting my pin for my debit card. I’ll stand there looking at the machine and that damned number just won’t come to me, despite using it multiple times every day.
I have "contacts" in my phone to remember things like the size of my air filters
8:15 And because of this, I now overcompensate for my time myopia by showing up at least 30 minutes before I need to be somewhere because I can never figure out how long it'll take to get anywhere so I leave early because it's better to be earlier and wait than to be late and face the consequences of that lateness.
Same!! 😅
I used to do that... Then I had toddlers. 😅
I need to start doing that
Same Here! And then waiting an extra time for the Person who is always late, although you know the Person will BE late as usual - but what If the Person is in time and YOU will be late?!?
This is what I need to do.
I've recognised a lot of ADHD traits in myself watching your videos for the last seceral months but this video made me cry at all the painful school memories that I had suppressed.
Thank you.
Releasing the pain of past hurtful memories through tears can be therapeutic. ❤️🩹 Keep learning about neurodivergent brain types, and you may find some survival techniques that improve your chances of success where you regularly struggle.
Same here
AuDHDer here - from 4th grade to high school, my teachers figured out that I couldn't disrupt the class if they made me their class secretary. So for like five years in every class I was in, I had a desk next to the teacher's. If you wanted to talk to the teacher before the end of class (like go up to her desk, not raise your hand to ask questions) you had to ask me first.
The way my teachers did it - by giving me a special job - actually made me proud of my problem and contributed to me figuring out how to properly engage with my peers.
i manage this as an adult by appointing myself as the note taker/secretary! work meetings. d&d sessions, anything, i pay attention by taking notes. and bonus, it helps me memorize things too!
A common thing I heard was stop doing that and pay attention.
I literary got my head put under running water in 1st grade because of it. I think that is my earliest memory of something I now know was a sign of ADHD (diagnosed last year, 36 years old, so that is 30! years ago).
That might as well be my legal name... lol
@@Timelog88 Whoa! I know you said it was 30 years ago, but that still sounds like something that should not have happened!
I got similar! Mine was always "are you listening/paying attention?" To which the answer was....technically yes, but I'm not processing a single thing I'm hearing.
@@stoodmuffinpersonal3144 lol.
Reading yes I will read everything until it was an assignment. The homework was always done in the class before. Essays staying up the night before. But every teacher thought every essay was the best. Had to repeatedly teach the rest of the class the info for the essay. Assignments never turned in. Every planner was done for 1 week and then forgotten until the middle of the next year and thrown away. The shoes,🤣was walking at someones house and saw MY SHOES. I thought "those look like mine." They were. I had taken them off without realizing it. When I started college, I wrote out how much time I needed to work, study, school, travel, gym, everything. Came up with needing 26 hours a day. Close enough, I then couldn't figure out why I was not able to live this. Went back, FORGOT SLEEP. When my son was little like two, people would come up and ask me if I had tested him for ADHD. "Sweetie all two year olds have ADHD." When he was seven, his teacher recomended, I then had him tested. After he was tested, I explained to him what ADHD was. He thought for a second and said, "You have ADHD." I was originally diagnosed by a seven year old.
Oh my God! That's the most honest feedback I think you've probably ever gotten! Was that a confusing thing but at the same time a relief to hear from him? When he said that, did it all click into place?
My wife and I are both high-“functioning” ADHD but we didn’t find out until our daughter was diagnosed at 6 and the doc was asking about family history and was explaining behaviors to watch for
I was 35 yrs old. I am sitting in a counselor office with my 9 yr old son and my wife. Counselor explaining why he believes my son is ADHD. I noticed a couple of fun looking puzzle gadgets on the table next to my chair. I picked one up to check it out. It really caught my attention. In the background, I hear my wife call my name. I turn and look at her and the Dr as they are watching me. The Dr proceeded to explain how he believes I am ADHD. Darn puzzles were bait.😂
1. Books I couldn’t get through as assignments were fascinating when read for pleasure.
2. Forbidden from knitting during boring lectures, meetings and workshops even though I could concentrate better when I did
Lots more! Didn’t have a clue that I might have ADHD until age 64, still can’t get a diagnosis.
Also, in college, to make myself write papers about stuff I found boring, I'd find a cool, completely unrelated quote and then tie the assignment topic to the quote throughout the paper. I guess I was gamifying it, but my profs thought I was brilliant, so yay? And yes that was the night before it was due or, sometimes, the morning before. And yes, feel free to use however. ;-)
Mine: getting notes on my report cards about how well I revise my essays when I know I've only written one draft and I finished it at 2AM the night before
Smooth bus rides and spare periods are also handy for finishing assignments at the last minute.
@@charlespentrose7834 Absolutely. Also lunch breaks if the assignment is for an afternoon class
You actually wrote a draft? I couln't bring myself to waste time writing it "wrong" and then doing it again; most I'd do was make a scribbled outline for myself (with crossings out and arrows redirecting paragraphs elsewhere) and edit as I wrote my "final" essay.
LOL ME TOO! Even now, I literally type out a fanfic and then just hit post. I go back to correct it and the typos are SURPRISINGLY SPARSE!
I don't know why, but I'm unable to watch any of your videos without crying. They make me feel so seen in ways I never have before by any other ADHD content creator, or any other human really. I just want to say thank you for what you do. I don't think you realise just how much of a difference it makes.
Oh gods these were all so relatable. Maybe not so much school related, but i absolutely THRIVED in Air Cadets as a kid for the 2 years I went. The rules were explicitly laid out, there was no room for misinterpretation, everyone was the same, so i could blend in for once. At summer camp I could actually stay organized, because you only had certain items with you, AND the systems to STAY organized were already in place!
I was also on Wellbutrin at the time when i was that age (13-14), so maybe that had something to do with it as well a little bit.
But we got to go gliding all the time, my second year, I got to be the copilot and fly with the captain. It just ticked all the right dopamine boxes. I'm nowhere near athletic, never have been, yet I still went and did drill team and biathlon.
As for the education aspect: Struggling in school, but eventually managing to get into college. When I do, and got accommodations for the first time in my life, all of a sudden things are not a ginormous struggle, and I'm maintaining a 4.0 GPA.
Oh my gosh yes - Jessica's comments about 'fiddling' or 'fidgeting'. This followed me through into my professional life. I got told off so many times for doodling or fidgeting during meetings - it was bad 'optics' . But I was one of the most active meeting participants, and took great notes. As soon as I was told I had to stop doodling, I no longer was able track in meetings and got nothing out of them. This was years ago, I've sorted things out with the upper management now (getting an official diagnosis helped) but it was horrid that it continued even after I'd grown up and was technically allowed to 'adult'!
Oh, teleportation is my most wished for superpower. When people debate flight or invisibility, I always choose teleportation.
Mine would be time control!
I could just stop all other time, till I am finished with whatever I need to do/want to do/should have had ready some days ago…
Ah well, actually, nevermind.
I would go totally insane managing real time/slowed down or stopped time…. And remembering to eat and stuff😅
My dentist probably wishes I could teleport. I am always late no matter how much I try not to be :/
Yeahhhs I like that teleporting to places you have been physically before would be great and not super overpowered
@@MsDogleaf I always liked the nightcrawler ability. He only teleports to places he can see. But he can do it over and over to travel very quickly.
@@Sam_on_TH-cam I have thought about it’s cool but has dowside of traveling at night or long places
This video is making it so clear for me that ive been dealing with adhd for a long time
I always need to re-read exams after completion because there's always questions i forgot to answer or read.
I rarely handed in math homework, and whenever i did it was completed in the minutes before the teacher came to class.
In both literature and English literature id never know where we were because I'd read ahead.
I had an assignment meant to be done over 3 months and i completed it in 2 days. Stayed up until 5am. Felt awful. Cried a lot. Got 98%. Happened to me with several classes with vague homework deadlines as well, because i waited until the very last minute.
TO THIS DAY WITH MY JOB TOO, I'm always very close to being late because i never take into account how much time it takes to brush my teeth.
Throughout highschool i developed origami as my focusing strategy and now in uni i try not to do it bc of the mess, but it's way harder for me to focus if im not folding too.
In one class we needed to draw a scene we learned about. Of course, i drew a comic on a huge panel. In highschool we needed to present a known conflict in class. I turned it into a play.
I know no one is gonna read this, but it's fun realizing in hindsight how obvious it was that i needed to get diagnosed.
I read it.
I read it, too
Me too 😮
Read it and cried bc it's way to relatable...
I loved the large auditorium classrooms in college because I could do homework while listening to instructor. It actually made me retain both better. And was time effective so I could take that afternoon nap (if schedule allowed).
Going back many decades ago with ADHD in middle school . . .
I'd fidget with the pages of the textbooks to dog-ear the pages.
Had a propensity to be disruptive in classes that bored me.
And had a predilection with homework procrastination.
Thankfully, I was subjected to a psychology professional to do a workup profile on me. It resulted in being placed in a small class of special needs students . . . basically we were a bunch of misfits, where we got along exceptionally well. The teacher was tremendously patient with us.
In high school I was placed back in the academic mainstream. The participation in after-school sports with its strenuous physical activity had a settling effect on me; and I behaved much better.
But, I struggled with self-paced course curriculum classes; as well as algebra . How I didn't end up with a "F" in those classes was a miracle.
Would love a work place edition of this
Completely!!
I heard this excellent quote somewhere relating to school assigments: "there's nothing worse than having enough time". Fits for many other situations as well
😂
The other relevant phrase on this topic is that work expands to fill the time it's given.
As a permanent resident of "the desk next to the teacher", I feel seen.
permanent resident I'm dying 💀
For me, sitting near the teacher was something I did voluntarily and continued to do in lectures in uni. Sitting so close made me feel watched as well as made the blackboard or presentation more in my face and the sound of the teacher's voice louder and other distractions less in my field of vision or attention. That combination really helps me to focus a bit more and a bit longer. (That and my teachers accepting that I was still paying attention when I was fidgeting or playing fidget-like games on my phone.)
Your videos made me seek a diagnosis, i've met with a psychologist, now i'm waiting for a doctor appointment, the more i learn about adhd the more i see similarities of it in my own life and struggles and i've realised ppl don't think like i think, thx ❤
Welp, turns out i have ADHD and damn, everything makes sense
Reading anything except what I was supposed to be reading is big. Cleaning anything except for the thing I'm supposed to be cleaning. Cleaning my room and making a bigger mess, because I took everything out of my dresser or off of my bookshelf and now how to figure out the proper way to reorganize it so that it makes more sense, but then get half way through it and end up cramming half of the stuff back even sloppier than before. High grades on tests and in-school work, almost never turned in a scrap of homework. I'm pretty sure the only reason I got through college was because I had a kid and 2 - 3 jobs, so everything was last minute or a cram session. It's been 17 years and I'm almost recovered from it. *Oh, I created my own alphabet for taking notes, because my teachers were boring and so is taking notes. At least writing in a made up alphabet worked my brain out and was way more entertaining and also kind of counted as doodling.
You'll get that on those big jobs. Especially the OCD... CDO? heavy days.
I did this, "High grades on tests and in-school work, almost never turned in a scrap of homework!"
About the locker combination story. you asked why we do this and I am not sure this is a 100 percent why, but my therapist once told me that ADHD brains work like a filing cabinet system where we put information. but sometimes we forget where we put it or we file it in the wrong place, so it takes are brains sometimes longer to retrieve certain information. I liked this metaphor so I thought I would share it. hope this helps
I REALLY wish I knew I had ADHD in school🤦♂️ Just hearing the words "gym shorts" made me SO ANXIOUS!!!😱😭🤣 I can smell the cleaner they used, hear that horrible screaching in the basketball court, and over a decade later I'm still nauseous thinking about what they're going to make us do and what's in next period 🤣😭🤣😭
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago at age 43, though I’ve shown symptoms since I was 4. I tend to think of it as a challenge, but also as my super power. My hallmark is hyper focus. That makes me an incredibly fast learner, as long as I’m interested in or motivated by what I’m learning. But if I’m not interested… “squirrel!”. I also drive fast, and get impatient with other drivers. But I’ve never had an accident. Because I’m hyper focused. I don’t speak while I drive because I need to concentrate. Using the GPS on an unfamiliar highway is a HIGH PRESSURE situation for me 😂 (no speeding in those cases). But the thing I hate is that I need to be in my head while working, so I’m terrible in groups, unless I can be the silent participant who only chimes in once I’ve completed my mental brainstorm. I think we have a gift for seeing the big picture and working things out too. But I’m also an introvert, so I’m not sure if certain things are due to that combination. Bottom line is, DSM aside, I don’t see it as a disability. It’s more like an alternative brain functioning. I think neurotypical brains have as many challenges as we do, but in different ways.
Hello sister from another Mister! I relate 100% and omg yes on the gps!😂 my husband doesn't understand why I get so flustered and can't follow instructions from the gps or if we play a videogame I can't play AND read? Nope I'm hyperfocusing on using the buttons who's got brain capacity for reading that's what co-pilots are for 😂
Same for working that's why I went self-employed and remote working 15 years ago. I don't thrive in a group setting like brainstorming the struggle is real, like I'm fine socially but for actual work, no. And I understand you say it's not a disability, but it is when you're in an office environment and you're passed on promotions or even recognition because someone else was able to articulate or input more so on the surface looks like they are smarter or do more work when instead chance is you're actually doing most of the ground work but quietly.
@@MJBsays I NEVER do airport runs because I can never understand my way through the complicated routes to and within the airport itself. You wouldn't believe how many times I'd be driving there... at NIGHT.... be concentrating on the GPS with a route change coming up... AND THEN THE FREAKING PHONE RINGS AND IT'S MY HUSBAND ASKING IF I'M THERE YET. NO, I'M NOT THERE YET! AND GUESS WHAT?! I WAS 3 MINUTES AWAY BEFORE YOU BROKE MY FOCUS, BUT NOW I'VE TAKEN A WRONG TURN BECAUSE I MISSED MY EXIT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM OR WHAT TIME I'M GOING TO GET TO YOU!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫 (He finally gets it).
And I definitely hear you on the disability piece, but what you describe so beautifully is systemic discrimination, not a disability. That's like saying being a woman is a disability if we get passed over for a job because a man gets the job because men don't have trouble with self-praise and taking credit (even when the credit is not due). I just hope that society in general, and employers, managers, HR people, start to appreciate the value that different ways of thinking and working can bring to table.
"Yes, do that again!"
This one is extremely relatable. So many times I've squeaked by, and the result is I learned this unhealthy method of getting things done.
Having your planner, and writing in the test dates, etc... because that's what you're supposed to do. But then when home forget to look in your planner. When the test comes around the teacher asks you "didn't you write it in your planner?" Well yes, but that doesn't mean I remember to look in it
Doing the exercise part of a textbook instead of listening to the teacher because you already figured it out from the initial explanation and wanted to test it out immediately, and you didn't want to wait for the rest of the class to catch up.
Yup
The coolest thing I ever experienced, as a forever doodler, was going to a 3-day work training and they put colouring pages and markers on the tables and we were encouraged to colour DURING the sessions... This was years before my diagnosis, but it was so cool! I was so focused.
Brilliant!
1:36 it's not just me! Love reading, most reliable hyperfocus. Get told to read something, nope. I will read anything except what I'm told to
Freshman year: I will start working harder. Senior year: I will do better in college.
Teacher with ADHD here. When it's due turn whatever you've done. It's way better than nothing.
This is a great video. I am an adult who was diagnosed when my first child was diagnosed over 20 years ago.
Even though i have ticked 'yup' to every comment so far, i got distracted halfway thru the video and had to finish it later.
This actually made me cry for a moment because I never understood why school was such a challenge and why I struggled yet I could still get good grades. I would literally forget I had homework until I was in the Quad before school and everyone would mention it then I would be desperately trying to get it done before classes. The organized color coded planner was what made me cry. The true attempt and optimism I would stay organized this year to completely fall off in the first month. I still struggle with this.
I think my contribution to this would be even getting to graduate with a diploma. I was in the "no child left behind" era. Now truly I did not understand math. I also had teachers that didn't care to help to help. I failed the proficiency exams every year. Your senior year you had multiple chances at the exam. Every exam I failed by just a few points. I think passing was 240 and I was always in the 230 range. I struggled. I stressed. Finally we had ONE last chance about a month before graduation. My school put together an after school program to help us 3 days a week to study. The teacher, who I wish I always had, understood how to help teach me and taught me more in the month of after school classes then I had my whole hs career. The one on one really helped focus where i struggled. On the last attempt I passed with an above average score only a few points off of the 300 max score.
Talk about that last minute adhd cram. Whe it's urgent and when you're in crunch with your back against the wall. I've never been so proud or cried so much. I thought I was going to graduate a B student with a "certificate of completion". But i actually got my diploma.
But then there is memory loss immediately. I did actually understand the questions on the test. But then I needed to test into college math and did not so great again because I didn't retain all that information. 🙃
Moral of the story. I hate math and adhd probably didn't help. But my math profiency exam story is the extreme example of how I always have run and still had no idea i probably has ADHD. I didn't even put two and two together until recently in my 30s.
Also this is probably so incoherent I almost don't want to push send so hopefully I made any sense.
Don't worry, this made perfect sense. You're not alone. I have ADHD too, and ironically, I work as a tutor at a technical college...but I don't do math. That's the one subject I cannot tutor beyond basic stuff like fractions and decimals. Anything having to do with algebra or above? Forget it! Thankfully, I have coworkers who are gifted in math, so I can focus on helping with other subjects. But I completely understand and feel your pain. Math sucks!
ADD diagnosis. I was a huge underachiever. The rare times I was inspired to do my best, I got accused of cheating.
So signs from the school years - You were accused of cheating when you didn't.
Feedback from a teacher my parents once got: "David seems like he's never paying attention in class, but then when I call on him with a question he always knows the answer".
10:09 yeah one of my professors in college asked me to stay after class and told me to stop drawing in her class because it was rude that I wasn’t paying attention. I told her I was listening with my ears and showed her that I had everything from the board in my notes and then some, and told her to “take it up with the disability office, it’s right upstairs”
I loved what you said about universal classroom design! It would be great to have a video about that topic, both as a resource for teachers and also for those of us with ADHD so we can better advocate for ourselves.
I couldn't cope with School Assembly.
So I would do vision mixing (in the US it's called video switching) and direct the assembly in my head .
I had a crew of 4 cameras, and using my fingers on my lap, I would invisibly cut between the imaginary cameras and even have a conversation in my head with the imaginary crew.
It was the only way to get through that 30 minutes. Looking back, and finally understanding it now, I am so proud of that little guy.
When I was doing my A levels (British qualifications you usually do aged 17-18) I got a D in my first year English, mainly because I couldn't make myself read the book my coursework was based upon. I wouldn't get into Uni with a D.
In my final exam, I crammed and crammed and came out with an A, which brought my total up to the C I needed. That turned out to be the highest grade I got in any of my A levels exams over 2 years.
I never understood why I could only achieve grades like this when the pressure was on.
Not related to this video specifically but youve really helped me at a point where i was struggling big time. Its made me feel a lot more certain and encouraged me 6 months off turning 30 to actually try and get a diagnosis.
those times in class where we'd go around a circle and each person would read a paragraph were THE WORST - so painful and the quickest way for me to have zero empathy for struggling readers. i was three pages ahead when it got to my turn and then i'd have no idea where we were. this is also why I can't watch tv with subtitles on - it just ruins the timing of everything.
high school English classes were quite bad for me even though I love reading and love books. i failed so many reading quizzes because I couldn't make myself get through wuthering heights or the hobbit.
Studies on psilocybin-assisted therapy for ADHD show encouraging results.
After my trip yesterday, I did understand why mushrooms are praised... you can have some beautiful experiences on them..
Mushroom-based treatments offer new hope for ADHD management.
Golden teachers has been my go-to mushroom for months, it has helped in my recovery journey
please any idea of a good dispenser with a good track record for delivery and quality?
medic_ario
The putting-your-shoes-on-time is so real and is STILL something I struggle with! Forever grateful to my bus drivers through the years who would wait an extra minute so I could catch up at a dead sprint (we were the last stop on the route, so it didn't make anyone else late)
I was late to my physical therapist this morning because... I forgot to take into account the time needed for getting ready to leave 👀
Hey, would it be feasible to add captions to these kinds of videos in other languages?
I couldn’t help but think this would be a great way to help my mom (a primarily Spanish speaker who I think also has ADHD) and others start to understand ADHD-you provide concrete examples with explanations and commentary on how ADHD can manifest and why.
Also…maybe an exploration of ADHD in other languages and cultures? That sounds like a topic good for at least a few videos and possibly dozens if you have the right connections…
9:36 i feel like "they" took every coping strategy away from me, then wondered why I fell asleep in class.
This is a fantastic video! So relate to the one about getting moved for talking in class. I remember my teacher was so exasperated that she tried everything to keep me from talking to my best friend. First, she put him in the back on the other side of the room and we talked across the back of the classroom. When she got tired of us distracting the whole back of the room, she sat him at the front of my row and he would turn around to talk to me and we'd disturb our entire row of desks. When she got tired of admonishing him for always seeing his back, she finally gave up and let him sit next to me, cause if we were next to each other in the back, at least we weren't disturbing everybody else...
I haven’t been diagnosed yet because finding someone who diagnoses adults is hard.
But for me it’s that I love starting projects but I hate finishing them or don’t finish them at all (smaller projects are usually fine). Puzzles, sewing, crocheting, drawing or work for school or university. No matter how early I start I won’t finish it until the very last moment. I have multiple projects lying around that I need to finish, but the initial excitement is gone
Holy hell the point you make about the COST of our high performance made me remember why I subscribed in the first place. YOU GET IT and it so comforting to know other people understand.
In middle school, I used to pull apart and play with my mechanical pencils and use the tops as the "heads" of people. Really just any pen or pencil, if I could disassemble it, I would. And there was some sort of dramatic story going on in my head as to why the pen was being disassembled and then reassembled. It was always a romantic adventure drama
I can relate to so many of these lol. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 42. It explained so much about my life lol. I love your channel and listened to your book on Audible. It's awesome and I recommend you to everyone to learn more about ADHD. Thank you so much for what you do :)
As per usualy: TH-camr: "Would you like (an other) video about..."
Every viewer: "yes, yes, yes, do the thing."
Time management is hard. I block everything out in hours. It might only physically take 20mins but I tell myself it's a hour to give myself the best chance of getting there on time.
It's nice to have a place and people that know how it feels to live with adhd
Reading ahead during class is my number one! Unfortunately ADHD was not "invented" jet when I was at school
What's funny is that I do this in church, too. Literally will read what the preacher read, then will read an extra two chapters for some reason. Didn't think about that until this video 😂
@@angemarie12 I was forgotten about it til Jessica said it in the video. But hey, my school days were 50 years ago 😂
@@angemarie12 daydreamed in church a lot as a kid. Was a struggle to sit still, and refrain from chatter.
Felt like I was focused more on paying attention rather than understanding and my head would hurt.
After? I'd gallop run outside out of relief the times I could get away with it 😂
@@angemarie12 daydreamed in church a lot as a kid. Was a struggle to sit still, and refrain from chatter.
Felt like I was focused more on paying attention rather than understanding and my head would hurt.
After? I'd gallop run outside out of relief the times I could get away with it 😂
1:55 THIS !! Thank you for putting words into it ! "The inconsistency is the disability". So hard to explain most of the time
OMG I resonate so deeply with all of these, especially the reading ahead because I was BORED and avoiding actual reading assignments because I was reading something else! 💀
I was so 2e that teachers would ask me to help other kids with their homework but then I would constantly forget to do/turn in my own homework.
I would also constantly fall asleep at my desk because I couldn't get my brain to shut up so I could sleep the night before.
This was me. Still is at any conference or presentation. I feel like I taught myself everything.
Yes Jess, more like this. It's quite reassuring and fun too x
4:56 I think the part about doing something repeatedly during a day and then forgetting it on the 5th try is because you were either doing something out of muscle memory (opening a lock) and started to pay attention on the 5th term which could cause you to have to consciously think about what you’re doing and overthink the steps so you forget how to do it / become anxious about the thing… or you were only remembering how to do it with your working memory and you’ve forgotten now
As someone who was first moved away from my friend, then put behind a partition to block me from whomever I was next to, and eventually moved out into the hallway for talking in 4th grade I can fully attest to it not only being hurtful but it also laid the groundwork for feeling like I was fundamentally not wanted around by anyone.
A really big one for me was the constant need to be moving. I was either shaking my leg or wriggling in my seat or drawing or whatever other thing got my motor skills used. I needed my the input of my body moving to help center my focus.
Signs I might have a dad? Oh, no, signs I might have dyslexia.
I did my homework but would forget to turn it in, or it would magically not be in my backpack. That, and reading an entire book at 2:00am because the book report was do the next day.
I wish people talked more about how to cope with working and ADHD 😭 I hope that topic can be the focus of your next video. I have been fired from several jobs because I had the gall to be ADHD presenting (and unmedicated, undiagnosed)
What made me not lose my binder was, weirdly enough, being emotionally stable and regulated. Like, I'd forget everything and hate myself for it last year, but now that my life is better and I'm working on myself, I'm forgetting a bit less now :)
oh, and getting a test paper gives me excitement, so i immediately reach for my binder under my table to go put it in. it's like i'm collecting 'em!
Edit: Taking notes can also be stimulating for me, which I'm lucky to have :,)
RE: Locker Combination Research
4:46
Phenomena:
1. Proactive Interference
2. Cognitive Overload
3. Blocking
Disorders Where This Happens More Frequently:
1. Anxiety Disorders
2. Depression
3. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
4. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
5. Dissociative Disorders
6. Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias
7. Chronic Stress
8. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) or Cognitive Impairment