My psychologist has found that in women diagnosed with ADHD later in life who see them in their practice, PTSD in some form is almost guaranteed, because they've been blamed and denied help for most of their life. It's amazing to finally get help!
@@jordanhenshawI'm a man and will say that I can't diagnose myself I'm not a doctor. I'm pretty sure growing up with an ADHD brain in a world meant for neurotypicals and a father lacking empathy and scared by war caused me to have some pretty decent PTSD. I'm only really discovering it recently but oh yea it's there. Have more empathy
Really great talk, you should watch the whole thing! But for anyone who wants to hear about specific topics, I tried my best: 11:38 Distraction: depression or ADHD? 15:13 Percentage co-morbidities; what is common? 18:25 Bipolar 21:47 Overactive Sympathetic Nervous System vs ADHD Symptoms; Mindfulness 24:50 ASD 29:31 OCD 33:30 Secondary OCD, generalized Anxiety 38:38 Anxiety and Sleep 45:34 Substance Abuse, addiction to medication 50:36 Cannabis 54:59 Eating disorders 57:46 (Motor) Ticks 1:00:29 body focused repetitive disorders 1:01:43 Alexithymia 1:05:23 Autism (Autism and ADHD in siblings) 1:06:36 Panic Disorders 1:10:06 Trauma and PTSD 1:19:40 Sensory Issues 1:20:20 Exercise 1:21:57 Parenting ADHD Brains/Preparing ADHD brains for adulthood
@@rachelkarengreen99 Sorry itself isn't a weakness. It is bad to always feel guilty or small, but saying sorry conveys the thought that you are going to try to fix what you are apologizing for, which is very important with interpersonal relationships
Me: I'm not going to share my ADHD diagnosis at work, I'm not going to share my ADHD diagnosis at work. Also me 1 day after being diagnosed: "so I've got something to tell you"
Ugh. Yeah. It's not one of my worst traits, but I clearly remember three times I really should have stopped myself from over sharing. You end up feeling vulnerable and exposed if you do it in the wrong social context
I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD this past year at 31. I was confident about being autistic, but ADHD was a surprise. What you said about your intelligence hit home. My intelligence/IQ has been used against me my entire life, and my ability to find work arounds were major reasons it took me so long to get a diagnosis. Multiple therapists told me they were certain of me being on the spectrum, but discouraged me from seeking a diagnosis because of their worry that it would hinder more than help me.
I live in the UK, I have a degree aged 20 , Pgdip, professional qualification. I have diagnoses of dyspraxia, ADHD and aspergers traits as an adult . I received a diagnosis of ADHD aged 41. I was told the psychiatrist who diagnosed with ADHD, I was well behaved in school. I am intelligent and driven.
I don't really get why not getting diagnosed would help symptoms. You'll have the symptoms no matter what you do, but getting diagnosed allows you to get the help and strategies that you need
I got dx with autism just before my 36th birthday and ADHD just this week at 37. The first assessor didn't think I have ADHD which surprised a lot of people. So I finally decided to get a second opinion and this person agreed with me. Having a dx doesn't make symptoms go away but it sure does make me feel so relieved. It's never too late to get a diagnosis!
@Nazra Rain, I agree, I have been wondering about that myself. Are they worried the stigma will make things worse? I think that the diagnosis would be beneficial so that we can work on strategies that will help with things that are harder for those with a diagnosis vs neurotypicals. I have a friend who is convinced I have autism like her. But the last therapist, who specialized in it, was adamant I didn't. I am pretty positive I have ADHD, but have had a hard time finding a psychiatrist who is accepting new patients. Where I live health care is very limited, and I'm grateful I got in with my current therapist who just stopped taking new patients. She is wonderful so far, but it's only been a few weeks. She asked me if I had ADHD on the 2nd visit, and my close friend has been convinced I have that, too, for a while.
Jessica's forthrightness about her process is so incredibly validating. I hope she knows how much she helps people jist by being her honest self. She is amazingly brave. 💜🖤💜🖤
Has anyone ever looked into the correlation between anxiety/depression in adults with ADHD and negative feedback received during their formative years? I guess I'm wondering if it's a nature vs nurture thing, and if external factors or brain chemistry matters more when it comes to developing mood disorders later in life. I still struggle with poor self esteem in my 30s, and I'm extremely defensive of children with ADHD because I don't want them to have to end up like this. But tbh, I've never met anyone with ADHD who didn't experience near-constant criticism growing up, so I really couldn't tell you what that looks like.
@Hannah Shepherd I believe that studies have found that is a frequent occurrence. I believe Dr. Halowell has spoken about this. Also mentioned by Rick Green. Good for you gaining understanding about this at your age. I've got 20+ years on you. Didn't find out about any of this until late 50s. That leads to issues you thankfully won't have to deal with.
Hannah Shepherd I've actually noticed the same thing! I've got ADHD and grew up with a lot of verbal abuse, and it's been the same with every other ADHD sufferer I've met, at least when I learn about their childhood.
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947 ( It unfortunately still happens.) Being compassionate and kind adults takes practice, and can be quietly done. Maybe those efforts will ripple along to counter the messages someone else got that they weren't enough.
I was so much better at masking my ADHD as a kid and year by year it got more difficult. People used to say I was gifted but a slow learner, as I got older they just started saying I was lazy, not trying hard enough and wasting my gift. By the time I got into college years of being treated like that lead to me getting bad anxiety and depression which caused doctors to miss my ADHD for years until finally one found it. I was kinda shocked, I never knew that ADHD wasn't just having a hard time sitting still, that it's so so much more than that and my experiences throughout my life made sense for the first time.
Thanks haha that was my question. Rn my Brian just won't shut up when I try to sleep at night unless I basicallt run it into the ground so I'm so sleepy I can't even think.
I've always struggled with that, left to it's own devices my brain spins up instead of spinning down so I can sleep. I've needed to have something to focus on, TV when I was young but that's not great because of the ads. An audiobook or low engagement podcast is my go to, or just having the rain or insect noises outside help me chill and sleep.
@@nehamaw it’s weird for me because concerta helps me to sleep. idk how but I can sleep while using my meds regularly but whenever I skip a day I can’t sleep at night I can’t focus on sleeping. I used to say that “I can’t stop thinking” when I was a kid and I got misdiagnosed because of that lol
@@faffinaboot5865 ohh that’s a good one thank you! I fall asleep while watching gameplays of youtubers I know when I’m having bad anxiety. Anything else is just grabbing my attention and keep me up even if I’m constantly falling asleep and waking up over and over
When you said you reread scripts until they’re polished and it’s almost soothing. That hit home. I do the same thing with emails and post. I never really thought about it until you said that, but I take forever to write anything because I reread and rewrite everything a million times.
Coming forever after but on most email systems, you can put a delay when you send emails. On outlook for work, I've set it up so emails leave 3 minutes after I click send. It helps a lot I find
That’s how I wrote essays at school but I could still make silly mistakes by not reading the instructions properly or not answering the question properly
@@Dancestar1981 Me too! It never failed; I’d always miss something, usually a nit picky detail, in the instructions. My brain would just gloss right over it and mess me up every time.
Yes! I will read and reread posts I've made, edit and re-edit. Then I obsess about the comments. But usually only if I think I'm saying something funny or profound. I can tell the posts and comments I don't care about because they're full of typos...but wait ... How did I know they were full of typos if I didn't go back to reread them? 🤦🏼♀️ Forget everything I just said.
I just wanted to say thank you so much to this channel. I have ADHD, Tourrettes, and Dysgraphia and just finished my second to last final of high school. im what you'd call twice gifted at a magnet stem school and so i had to learn early on how to handle my adhd with scheduling, and orginally over scheduling. Even then I always wondered why i felt alone. i was having to study and do everything solo and figure it out on my own bc no one, let alone myself, knew what I was going through. I felt ashamed when couldn't explain to my friends why i had to stick around after class to finsih tests with accomodations, but YOU helped me accpet that hiding it wasnt something i had to. im not ashamed of who I am any more and ive actually helped other people get diagnosed and shown them your channel and am planning on starting a nuerodiversity awareness group in college that goes out to highschools bc so many people go far to long not knowing theres a better way to succeed in school and life without having to give up everything else. thank you so much. you've changed my life
That is an amazing idea and I hope you can move forward with that. I got missed as a kid in high school and didn’t get a diagnosis until my late 30s. Something like that would have been so useful. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your vulnerability Jessica. Along with ADHD, you’re normalizing grief, trauma, AND self-care. Not enough people openly express this. It brought up a lot of emotions for me also. 🙏 Thank you!
For the sleep+ADHD, I’ve found listening to stories makes it easier to fall asleep IF the reader has a soothing voice. LeVar Burton Reads is amazing for me. Kind of like bed time stories for kids. For me, the story keeps my mind engaged, and if I fall asleep to it often enough just the sound of that voice will help calm me down. Not sure this would work for everyone, but it’s the one thing that I’ve found that helps. In conjunction with a sleep mask and weighted blanket.
I personally run audible every night on a book i've listened to multiple times. The monotony of hearing a story i know, lets me follow along in my head and sometimes i'm just out in just minutes. No book.... Many minutes.
1:19:02 The Rick Astley Paradox: If you ask Rick for the movie, *Up,* he won't give it to you because he's never going to give you *Up.* By not giving you *Up,* he has let you down.
@@Talismantra statistically you are here because you have ADHD. Have you put something in an electronic calander that descriptovely lays out the steps to getting to and replying to this comment in 2025 as well as multiple reminders set? Because otherwise, probably, no, no you won't.
@@Celia_Louise sorry but most of us have insanely good long-term memory it’s like karma bc we don’t have any short term one :D so they’ll remember this, in 2025 but most probably they won’t remember why they said it lmao
Calling out this comment. "Janete B QUESTION: what is the refusal to do things because you're told you HAVE to do it, in relation to ADHD?" Because goddamn this is strong, I don't even understand why I have such an extreme reaction to being told I have to do something (on someone else's timeframe, not just a reminder). I literally feel like a mental barrier automatically comes up and it's practically impossible to do the task without being extremely angry during it even when I'm completely conscious of what's happening. It isn't even an authority thing, it'll be something that I want to do or agree with but the timeframe just doesn't align with the plan my brain has (the plan that I don't consciously know, just 'feel'), but it feels like my brain is screaming "GODDAMNIT I ALREADY KNOW, BUT CERTAIN THINGS I DON'T KNOW HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET SO I LITERALLY CAN'T DO THIS". Then there is the authority thing, if I don't understand why something is to be done or I think the justification is weak (e.g I know a better way to achieve the stated goal) I'll explicitly refuse to do the thing.
I struggle with this too. As for the things where I don't understand why it has to be done or if I know a better way to achieve the goal, I may not flat out refuse to do the thing, but there is a reason I have a mouse pad with The Grinch on it that says "I'm NOT arguing. I'm explaining why I'm right."
The worst times are when I tell myself I have to (should) do something.. it's like the toddler inside shouts 'No!' and starts having tantrums. I just can't deal with the noise sometimes.
I think it has to do with how much our boundaries have been violated by others BECAUSE of our ADHD. There could be trauma specifically around boundaries, especially time related ones, in addition to the struggles us ADHD folk already deal with when trying to tell OURSELVES to do the task. It's like the equivalent of someone randomly grabbing another person's wheelchair and steering it for them. Ever been told you were too slow or to do something faster? Ever been given a rigid list of instructions and overwhelmed by the lack of breaks or autonomy? Our boundaries have been violated. Of course we're more unwilling to do something when someone else wants to assert control over us.
Also, that brings in the ableism neurotypical people have pushed on us growing up. I had very traumatic experiences with chores and now it is super hard to do them, and that's in addition to what would have already made doing chores difficult. Thankfully I no longer live with family in my 20's or it would be way worse.
TLDR, it might be easier to reframe the unwillingness to do something someone else told you to do as a strict personal boundary. Telling yourself you're unreasonable for not wanting to do something someone else tells you you have to do, especially as an adult, feels like a loss of what little perceived autonomy we have. And you can probably guess what that loss of autonomy via other people is; a boundary violation.
This is so good!! Dr. LaCount’s explanation of why people sometimes aren’t diagnosed as kids is exactly what happened to me. I went to a small high school so the teachers had made sure I was usually sitting at the front of class and they would often remind me to get back to work because I was day dreaming. I was also fortunate to be fairly good academically. Also my parents were fairly strict and routine and my mon was very organized so they kind of kept me in check as well. I started struggling at university and I did manage to get my bachelors but it was a struggle. Also I realized in hindsight that even in highschool I was exhausted after the school day, like I fell asleep on the school bus and wanted to nap once I would get home. Now I know it was because my brain was working overtime to focus and compensate!
Thank you, Alison! I'd like to think most good doctors are confident in what they know and, just as important, confident what they don't know. Check out the Dunning-Kruger Effect for a cool graph on the relationship between competence and confidence.
That comment: 'I wanted to be a fish when I grew up' brought a smile to my face. You're such an amazing person Jessica. :) And your videos have been so helpful throughout my recent diagnosis and medication titration. I finally feel like my life is getting on track.
When I started Vyvanse at the beginning of this year, my anxiety and depression symptoms, which had been really bad for two years prior, went away. I don't think this is a common result of stimulant medication for people with ADHD but it absolutely had that affect for me and I am immensely grateful!
Funny enough, my doctor wanted to treat my anxiety first before putting me on ritalin and prescribed me ssri meds. For me a lot of my adhd symptoms got better as soon as I started ssri, a bit of a mirror situation to your. But I think that's probably because a lot of my executive dysfunction is rooted in anxiety
My psychologist doctor convinced me to take medication for my ADHD, I was against it because my brother reacted very badly to it several years ago. I have thanked him every day since 💛 Biphentin made me more "depressive", "amorphous", on the other hand, following the bad effects of Biphentin, my doctor prescribed me Vyvanse and revelation. I am much happier alive, I feel so much better about myself, less anxious. My psychologist Dr. clearly told me that he very often sees patients who are less anxious, less depressed, etc. With ADHD medication, what was causing our anxiety would primarily be “side effects” of unregulated ADHD.
I'm interested in learning more about acute stress disorder. I'm definitely someone who will have flashbacks from failures and feel a wave of guilt that is debilitating.
I am very much in the same boat. If you havent checked out Schema Therapy, I highly recomend it. I havent been able to fully break through with it, but I identify with it so incredibly profusely (especially the failiure schema).
Guilt is a useless emotion and a hindrance to having high, healthy self esteem. Truly horrible people don't feel guilty for doing their bad stuff but lots of good people feel guilty over things they shouldn't.....It's so backwards.
Thanks for articulating this in words. I experience the same thing regularly but I have always struggled putting it in words to explain it to my therapist.
Getting diagnosed as an adult really explained a lot of things. I thought "I can sit for hours working on something, how can I have ADHD?" and was quite dismissive at first. But the inattentive type indicators were so clear, and the high sensitivity to rejection dovetailed in so well with the diagnosis. I've always valued my artistic side but found it so crippling to show off my work, is there anything you can recommend in terms of making it easier to put myself out there and ways to better value my time and efforts from a business sense?
They said something about driving and I noticed right off the bat as soon as I started driving a stick shift that it helped immensely with my focus while driving. It made me focus on the shifting which helped with getting distracted. I got in 2 fender benders when I had an automatic and have had no accidents with my stick (been probably 5 or 6 years)
I am so glad to hear about doctor Russell Barkley. He is a beautiful man with his vast precise info. I watched three of his lecture back to back and felt so validated on things I didn't know. Especially in helping children growing through these things and what commonly develops because of untreated ADHD brains. Odd is one. There are several and he is amazingly intense like I struggle to find. It's rare for me to get to a mental state to watch, but so worth it. Even rewatching segments I can't focus through. Don't deter because of my experience, just watch one if you never have, and then watch two more somewhere. He is such a hero being the caliber of person in integrity. It's like Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind level of polish and music just comes from nowhere and becoming encased. Then I'm locked and thinking about what he says as my own to verify and not just mimick what he says. I got to dry my face and get into Walmart real quick. Dang, lol
It's like living in a world of catch 22s. I haven't even started the video yet and I'm already so excited! This is exactly what I need! I have ADHD OCD and PTSD. Comorbidities are always just brushed over like "oh yeah..those happen too." It should definitely be talked about more. From a fellow ging, Thank you for doing this.
I would love this too! I’m dyspraxic and have loads of overlap with the symptoms of ADHD. I love this channel cuz where I struggle to find help videos of dyspraxia I can fill them in with help videos of ADHD. It’d also just be nice to get more representation for these conditions as I often feel like I’m forgotten about in neurodiverse communities.
@@Minecraftathop I'm glad I'm not alone in this club. I have dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, and just been diagnosed with ADHD-I May as well collect the whole set. lol!
An interesting anecdote about the relaxation experienced while submerged: I spent about 3 years of my undiagnosed early 20's learning to scuba dive and later teaching it. A huge part of what kept me hooked was the intense relaxation I would feel from being submerged. I've never really felt anything else like it. And when you have enough control of your movement and buoyancy that you can float effortlessly over bright, colourful coral reefs and pretend you're piloting a spaceship on an alien world, it's like some kind of ADHD nirvana! You could make a half-decent argument that during that period I was treating my ADHD with regular, prolonged submersion.
Best thing is I rather have no friends then have 1 that was not a real friend. I did not have friends. I thought it was me. I found out when I was was about 30 years old it was me I was scare of being hurt I would not let anyone close and also found out people were scare I would joke on then for being so smart to do things bout side the box made then feel dumb those who spoke up mean to me where jealous or scared of me . Normal people are scared to and normal people deal with normal people because they can win if playing by the same rules we come along and can do what normal people do on 2 legs we can do on 1 leg. Even if we fall we look good. A we are worried. The label makes us worry not who we real are.stop living a label live for you you are super.
@How to ADHD. Jessica, I know you hear thIs frequently, but I'll say it anyway. You are a blessing to a lot of people. Being so open about painful personal experiences shows just how committed you are to the community, even to the point of emotional and physical pain. I can see you are in a better place in your life and I'm sure everyone is happy for you. I wonder if sometime in the future you may become a therapist. You are gaining such a wide understanding of neurodivergent issues, what a help to people you are and will be. Thank you for persevering.
OMIGOSH YOUR STORY RESEMBLES MINE. The trauma you experienced highlighted a lot of my problems and I was diagnosed with ADHD afterward. I went world traveling after college (where I also experienced a lot of trauma especially relating to my faith), and I went to Honduras (several sketchy stories) and Alaska. In Alaska I had a nervous breakdown due to my financial issues, and later in that trip I was attacked by a bear (no injuries fortunately). Following that, I returned to my home state where I dated someone who turned out to have family ties to a gang. I was basically afraid for my life frequently through the last 5 years. Getting diagnosed was a godsend, and it set me on the path to recovery. Your channel has played an important part of that!
I really wish I'd been here for this, it's amazing. I've been following you for a little while now, just rediscovering my ADHD which I abandoned the diagnosis as I went to university, which was probably a HUGE mistake, but we can't change the past, eh? The channel has been SO helpful for me as I explore what it really means to me to have ADHD, and what I've just internalised as part of my life without actually understanding it.
how do you stop being afraid of making mistakes? I feel like lifes passing me by because Im too afraid of messing up and I want to change I just dont know where to start. Logically I know everyone makes mistakes and its good to as long as you learn from it, it just feels everytime I personally mess up, i go into existential crisis mode lol
It's difficult when it hits you in the feels, I think realising your doing it and assessing how much the logic of cutting off those choices can be unhelpful even if it feels emotionally protective. Your never alone so if your not sure just ask a trusted buddy is it me or is it ok.
I was super excited to watch this yesterday when I saw it and started watching it…then I got distracted by something less than 10 mins, forgot I wanted to watch it, and remembered 24 hours later. 🙄 Thanks for doing this/posting it!! I loved it!
I didn't watch this live, but I cried along with you. I may not have experienced the exact same things as you have, but what I have experienced have the same results and feelings. So thank you so much for helping me learn about what's going on with me! You've helped me learn more about my disorders with your videos than actual therapists have (and I've had many)! So in my opinion, you definitely deserve that certificate! 👩🎓
This is GREAT!! Thanks for sharing your personal experience! I am especially more comfortable talking about self care since covid, and to hear you say you were going to do some self care validated what I've been thinking about. I struggle with how much is self care and how much is avoiding responsibilities like laundry, cooking dinner, etc.
This my beautiful amazing girl.... You make me feel seen..... I have so much truama and I think the ADHD... Exacerbated the truama so deeply. I need a friend exactly like you girl. It is your channel you videos that made me realize I was undiagnosed all my life. I felt so seen in your story .. Your character of being real makes it ok for me to be real
Thank you so much for the comment about addiction and substance abuse! I was describing the positive effects I saw when I first started ADHD medication (brain fog going away, increased control of my thoughts and time) and someone told me I sounded like an addict. It's been haunting me since then. Your comments really helped put my mind at ease.
I So regret missing this live. I loved watching every minute of that and like usual you helped me have an "ah-ha" moment as well. Thank you for being honest and sharing your experiences with us. I appreciate it so much.
I have liked and subscribed but I didn't know this livestream happened. I may have missed it because I had not found you yet, but I do not want to miss these in the future. At 48, with 15 years of diagnosis and constant treatment, you are changing my life! Thank you
Would love to hear more about parenting teens with ADHD ways to help them but also allow them to be independent. Another episode with Dr. Patrick Lacount ? 😊
@@hayleyhilton5018 I have watched some with him yes. My son is actually only 10 but starts middle school this year and high school is right around the corner. I really have a focus on teaching him to be his own advocate. I am always in his corner but I am not always with him. He is doing fantastic but I like to look ahead bit to to prepare 😊
Could you maybe look into and discuss Maladaptive Daydreaming? It is not currently classified as an "official" disorder, but there is a community of people who have experienced it. In a nutshell it is experiencing intense, vivid daydreams so often to the point that it can negatively disrupt a person's life. I would be curious to know if other ADHDers experienced this or of there is some kind of correlation.
Thank you both so much for this incredibly insightful video! You briefly mentioned OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder). I had never heard of OCPD before I was diagnosed with it in late 2017 (along with ADHD, OCD, anxiety and depression). Can you please teach us a little more about OCPD and ADHD sometime?
The actual thing starts at 7 minutes in! Found it by fast forwarding... I understand it's difficult when live streaming, but a note for the replay might be useful.
I wonder the same thing often, about the relationship between my ADHD and the trauma/chaos of my childhood. I now know I had alexothymia and/or dyslexothymia. It was so hard to function around other people and it lead to me becoming more and more frustrated with no healthy way to express myself. Thank you for your channel. It has been an amazing addition to my ADHD toolkit and has helped me forgive, love and accept myself as I am.
You are great normal people are intendant by us. We think outside the box and find a way to fix everything fast. We may be more messed up but we are real more together then we know
For bipolar, my girlfriend has Type 1 and I have ADHD, and a lot of the things we have been finding out, since we both got diagnosed rather recently, is that some of the theories about the neurochemical components actually mirror each other, specifically dopamine. Tl;dr: ADHD has not enough dopamine; Bipolar (esp. Type 1) has too much dopamine. Both of our medications would be disastrous for the other. It's more complicated, because... brains, but yeah. They present somewhat similarly, so lots of cross-misdiagnoses, but from what I've read, comorbidity is rare. I thought I might have Bipolar type 2 for a while because I have chronic depression that often comes in waves, and so the hyperactivity from my ADHD was suppressed until the depression eased.
Man, when she talked about her mom's accident I had to pause the video for a few minutes. I was in a car accident that killed the driver (my aunt) when I was 2 and wow, that was a big trigger - but I feel that sense of trauma she described on such a deep level that it made me panic. Thank you for talking about this stuff.
Thank you guys! Jessica we are here for you! Thanks for everything that you do for us 🤗 I think another topic that will be interesting for you guys to talk about, it’s how ADHD affects women menstruation cycle! ✨🧡
You are such an amazing creator. You have taught me so much about my ADHD and have helped me understand that my bipolar diagnosis could be better explained by ADHD impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. You've helped me understand myself better and you're an incredibly inspiring person. Thank you so much for making the content you do. ❤❤❤
Oh Jessica, my heart hurts for you. Big hugs. I love your channel *so much* because you allow your vulnerability to be present and you have so much passion for a topic I'm also passionate about. I feel less alone.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late high school years alongside persistent depressive disorder and anxiety. I have been diagnosed with spastic hemiplegia cerebral palsy since I was born due to having a congenital brain injury. Though it feels like a double whammy having both the brain injury and the ADHD because my brain injury actually has caused me to develop some of the same problems that are common with ADHD. My parents and I have always joked that it’s which came first the chicken or the egg? type of situation in my case. My parents and I have also had come to the realization that I might possibly also be on the autism spectrum as well. However I’m not going to pursue an autism diagnosis as my parents and I are afraid that it would jeopardize my eligibility to continue to be in this vocational rehab program that I have been in since the beginning of this year. It’s possible that when I complete the program that I will be able to pursue getting the autism diagnosis, but the fact that my brain injury and ADHD have some overlap with autism has me wanting to look into it more.
Do you think you could do an episode on adhders shutdowns. I tend to shutdown alot of them and they've gotten worse since quarantine. I'd like to know if its a symptom of adhd or something else and if it is what are some adhd friendly ways to avoid shutdowns or work through them.
Could you explain what you mean by shutdowns? I'm wondering if it's the same as mine, lol. For me, after getting overwhelmed by the spinning, I'm done and go take a nap, lol. Now, I'm disabled between mental and physical issues, so I can do that. But when I was working, I'd push through until the end of the work day, and go home and collapse just from the mental exhaustion of trying to be "normal" with people. And I took a lot of mental health days because there were days I just couldn't do it. So I wondered if that's the kind of thing you meant?
My shutdowns are if I'm getting embarrassed or frustrated by not understanding something. I'll just say "stop stop, just forget it. " and won't try anymore and just say I can't do it. For me it's literally a shut off. It's gotten so much worse as of gotten older. I use to be able to push though.
yeeeeeei, I have seen the comorbidities subject in ADHD elsewhere and love that you got to discuss these with Dr. Patrick LaCount, this was a much needed video :D
I am so grateful for this channel and especially you Jessica. I am in complete agreement about how special your vulnerability is. I find it inspiring. I recently told my partner that the venerability you show is how I feel inside and it gives new the opportunity to let some of that emotion out when I cry with you. Thank you so much for being you.
I've noticed that wether or not stimulants lead to increased anxiety is depending on the person but it does happen for sure. When I was on top of everything and using my stimulants to get my work done it decreased anxiety but once things were not going well the stimulants just made me anxious.
Your vulnerability makes you human and real. Polished is great, AND yet leaves a question in a viewer about your humanity/realness. Thanks for being the real you. I see your pain. My elderly mom had a brain injury from a car accident 3 years ago. Fortunately , Michigan had gold standard no fault insurance at the time. She needed 1-1 attendants, 24/7, for 1-1/2 years. We definitely couldn’t have afforded her care. I tried to take care of her for a week & had to cal 911 because she got an infection and I didn’t have the professional expertise to recognize it. She almost died. She is well now except short term memory, and in a good facility (she’s 87). Even though she is stable and happy, her condition is difficult for me to deal with. She went from healthy and vibrant to elderly in one moment. Grief is everything some days.
I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 at 19 and I’ve realized over the last few years that I’m most definitely not. When asked if I was experiencing mania I said yes because I didn’t have the words to describe what I was going through. Hyper focusing and masking. I’ve only realized that I actually have ADHD which I didn’t know at the time runs in my family and I’m almost positive I have ASD as well. I came from a home that told me girls didn’t get that and we didn’t want to associate with those people because it makes us look bad. Awful, I know. It’s why I have depression of course. But I was on medication for Bipolar and ended up dropping out of college and making a lot of bad life choices because of this misdiagnosis. I wish I could’ve had a resource like this channel back then.
One of the biggest rewards I get watching your videos is that I somehow recall tasks I need accomplished and find the motivation to complete them but I have to rewind your videos to catch what I've missed.
About getting to sleep what helps for me is a good night routine (same time, same routine of brushing teeth,etc), no screens an hour before, 'closing off my day' in my journal where I look at the day past, do a brain dump, and plan the next day. But also, what I wanted to add here is in cases where my mind won't shut down and I'm lying awake often times what helps is telling myself stories, like fantasizing and making up stories (fiction instead of reality thinking like ruminating), and if that doesn't help listening to fairy tale audio books or podcasts, so I have some easy story that I don't need to focus on too heavily. I don't know, maybe this would help for others too.
ADHDers are often bullied, which causes PTSD when they are repeatedly abused by peers, parents, teachers. There was an article on ADDitude recently I think.
My sister is a doctor, she does not understand I have dyspraxia, ADHD and aspergers traits. She can’t understand this makes me unemployable. She thinks I am lazy, I can work in a small retail outlet (lots are shutting down even before Covid) and I live in a small town. I apply for jobs and get rejections .She does not take an interest in my conditions.
@Somebody Somewhere I started kicking and screaming in middle school, didn't earn me any friends, or stop me from being abused my whole life for adhd symptoms. But thanks.
I know that my sleep doctor has said that there is often a strong connection between sleep apnea (which I have) and ADHD. So, it's important to have a sleep study done, if you think you are snoring or if you are often exhausted. Very important to treat sleep apnea.
35:27: If it weren't for you mentioning OCPD, I would have never known to look it up. THAT is my "Shadow Comorbidity." My Major Depressive Disorder and ADHD were pretty obvious, but then my OCPD was hiding in plain sight. Brought it up to my Therapist/ADHD coach, and she said "Sounds Plausible." If I feel like I don't have control, I get anxious (or worse, PISSED).
I've been wondering about something. Does anyone else have really vivid dreams? Like so vivid that it could be a movie? I always had them, but lately it's been like my mind is throwing me into a different action movie each night. It's making me dread falling asleep. Though sometimes they're fun and when I feel myself waking up I can sometimes stop it and go back into the dream. Or am I in the Matrix? :D
I do! Or did until I started a special medication for narcolepsy. There’s a lot of overlap with ADHD and narcolepsy symptoms, and vivid dreams is a hallmark narcolepsy symptom. Those of us with narcolepsy lack hypocretin, which regulates sleep/wake cycles. We get thrown into REM without much warning, which creates vivid dreams, sleep paralysis, and/or hallucinations. If you feel constantly exhausted no matter how much sleep you get at night and have episodes of an uncontrollable urge to take a nap at inappropriate times, it’s worth getting a sleep study. You could have narcolepsy in addition to ADHD. Narcolepsy is also often misdiagnosed, so it can go undetected for years.
I´m also someone who dreams up whole movie scripts in vivid detail. Its great when your bf turns into a dragon and you get to fly around and its terrible when giant scorpions are chasing after you...
I do and I think it's a sign we are not getting deep enough sleep. We are spending too much time in the REM cycle. Sounds great but our brain also needs the deeper sleep to rejuvenate.
@Phantom may I ask how long have you been using 5htp? How did that affect you? I have adhd and I wanna get started on it I’m just spooked because of heart-related side effects that some people talk about.
It’s so cool to hear you guys talk about comorbidities and ADHD. I wrote about AHDH and comorbidities following into adulthood for my independent research paper last year. This was a great refresher! I have been seeing a therapist and got diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago at age 20 and I’m still figuring g things out for myself and I’m going to try them this summer before I go back to uni. My dads side of the family struggles with alcohol and substance addictions, I am scared of the effects that different meds will have on me me. My stepdad recommended I try Biphentin, what do you guys think I should take?
The connection between sensory issues and being submerged in water is wild!!! I have always loved swimming underwater, and was diagnosed with ADHD at 26. being under water was always incredibly calming for me, and it was hard to leave the beach at the end of the day.
Is it possible to get the main paper references that Patrick cited today? that would be awesome like BIG TIME. Thank you Jessica, Patrick and the whole How to ADHD team!
For people with sleep issues, I found that putting a podcast on and then listening to that is helpful. It’s stimulating but not that much. Right now I am listening to the entire history of philosophy. Which is interesting but not that much, so I can drift off. I also turn it on and then don’t touch my phone again so there’s no blue light.
Regarding TIC's, it can be mild Tourette's Syndrome that is exacerbated by the stimulants. My son has Tourette's that is usually very mild unless he's taking ADHD stimulant medication then it increases significantly! Tourette's is verbal (noises or words) and physical tics combined. A high number of people are not diagnosed who have Tourette's Syndrome.
To say I had no friends at 3rd grade would be a mistake, however being a basebrat meant friends migrated and making new ones was a test of patience. It felt like I was always wearing people out.
I can relate to this experience as I moved around every few yrs as a child and constantly having to fit in and make new friends was tough. I feel like wear friendships n relationships out also, like I kinda push ppl away. I think depression and anxiety as comorbidities of adhd and ads is a big part of this though. Ppl dont know how to be around unhappy 😕
42:43 I deal with being bored at bedtime by using earbuds and listening to (non exiting, quiet) livestreams. They're entertaining enough that my mind stops racing for stimulation, but boring enough that I fall asleep and stay asleep better with the mild stimulation going on in the background
I wish we could talk more aboit body focused repetitive disorders like they start to around 54:00. I’ve rocked since I was in the crib. I need to rock back and forth in order to fall asleep. But any time I’m laying down I have to do this. They call it stereotypic movement disorder. I Zone out and tend to daydream. While I do this. I’m sure this is a self soothing Behavior. I’m 43 and i have basically been single all my adult life cuz this is so embarrassing. It’s hard and almost impossible to sleep in the bed with others. Help!! Any other body rockers on this thread?!!!
I have asked this question as well. My BFRB is Trichotillomania and I want to know if it's linked to ADHD and the tendancy to be restless, fidgety and such as a way to self-regulate as you mentioned. I am the same as you in that I'm not even aware I'm doing it half the time. This 'zoning out' may be related to ADHD as well. Hope we can find some answers! x
I'm so fascinated by this. This is the first time that I read that someone else does this too. I did it mainly in my childhood. For me I think it was self-soothing, because I was in a poor adoption center as a little baby where they wouldn't give you the care and attention you needed. Although I don't do this anymore now, my body is extremely restless. I feel like I have some type of RLS, which not only affects my legs but actually every body part of me. A weighted blanket has helped a bit tho!
Rocking is also a common thing that people with autism do. I don't rock much, but I pick at "disformities" on me, whether it's a hangnail, scab, or my nails are just "too long"
You are such a blessing to this community! I just listened to the part of your moms car accident, and wanted to just hug you. 🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️ No one should ever feel like that. Thank you for being vulnerable in front of us and sharing your traumas and struggles with us. It helps us to feel not so alone❤️
Does anyone else feel like “quiet is violent,” from the song Car Radio from 21 Pilots? The song explains what I feel so well because I am afraid of silence and the thoughts that follow the silence.
On quieting my dopamine rush before bed - I've found knitting really helpful for calming my dopamine cravings during meetings, tv shows, etc. It can also help me fall asleep. I doing something with my hands that I find soothing and somewhat stimulating (esp paired with audio book), but it's repetitive enough that I'll start to drift off. Also: playing wave sounds has helped me focus on my breathing and fall back asleep when I wake up anxious and would otherwise do the dopacraving anxiety thing. Also: reading using a really really faint light, like a Paperwhite kindle. Reading "Why we sleep" has done good for me, but it can backfire if the book is stimulating (esp emotionally - super sad for instance)
Why can ADHD symptoms change in intensity? My symptoms weren't very visible to others when I was a child. Since my late teens tho, they've become more prominent.
@@GoADHDGo Right. When you're young, the demands on your executive functions are small. However, when you get to a level where you have to organize yourself, need to manage your time, actively NEED executive functions, that's where you tend to see your foundation was actually made of quicksand.
I never had noticeable issues with my ADHD until this year. School mixed with Covid has been really stressful, so I started ticking and having panic attacks. When I went to a psychologist, I found out that I had ADHD and perfectionist anxiety. Stress is a big trigger for executive function issues, as you suddenly have more to deal with. As you get older, the responsibilities you have add to your stress which exacerbates symptoms
Different environmets pressure different parts of the brain that us ADHD people have deficiencies in! As you get older you need to depend on yourself more, and specifically your executive functions.
I want to thank you so much for educating people with ADHD. I’am one of those people for the fact that I have my 9 year old daughter with ADHD, and I know there’s so much that I have to learn🥰❤️👏🏼👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you for the video. I'm studying to be an ADHD Life Coach and I felt your video was very informative. I'm sorry about your mom. Note: There is always a positive that can be gained from a a negative situation. Look inwards and ask yourself how you have grown into a better person as a result of your traumatic past. BTW - according to Additudemag.com lists Bipolar as a morbidity of ADHD.
I'm comorbid with ADHD (inattentive type) and with Bipolar type 2. I obviously have depression since that is part of the bipolar, but I also have anxiety alongside these. It's interesting to hear about others talk about it since I never hear the two in the same conversation.
It's a real comfort for me reading this comment. I have at current the same consistency of mindset/mentality. I try, at best, to say meaning is a personal choice power person so there is "meaning" but not really. For me, I try to attach meaning to my kids NOW as my last ditch effort to hang in there with the socal idea of believing in something... But even with my thoughts with my kids, underneath the responsible nature to do right as a parent of my kids, there's still the overriding thoughts and feelings test I'm only full of crap because nothing means, not much, but anything. This might be more than what you expected as a response to having a thought in common, but this is the first time I've heard this idea spoken of. So, one ADHD brain to another, thank you! 🤙🏿
when someone ask me "what is the matter for you to always look so down?" honest answer "nothing matters, really" so yeah you're welcome. i feel you too
Here is a tip for those who cannot fall asleep because they’re thinking to much. This is what I do. I usually say to myself, “Okay, I need to get to bed, so I shouldn’t think of these things anymore right now.” Then I just kind of meditate by just thinking of the darkness only and listening to my fan blowing. I also count backwards from 500 (I didn’t think this would work, but it actually did for me) When you find your mind wandering. ASAP Bring it back into the present moment and only think of the blackness you see, the sound of the fan, and counting each number backwards from 500. Although, sometimes the thing I’m thinking about is something I don’t want to forget the next day and the thing that keeps me awake is the fact that I know I’m going to forget about it when I wake up. What I do for these moments is write down a list of the things I want to think about the next day and stop thinking about it for the night. You may be thinking, “Okay, great another thing to keep me up. Writing a list.” But if you think about it. Quickly writing a list and not thinking about it anymore may be quicker than still laying there for hours thinking about whatever you’re thinking about. It’s quicker to write down the 5 subjects/ideas you want to think about the next day rather than thinking about those 5 subjects/ideas for hours because you’re thinking about how to use them. Another tip: If you find that while you’re counting backwards from 500 you’re thinking about, “What if I don’t fall asleep before I get to Zero?” You can always raise the number. I’ve raised it to 700 before.
Question: in terms of comorbidity, how common is hypermobility with ADHD? I’ve jumped down the rabbit hole of ADHD research on countless occasions, occasionally seeing if there’s a connection between ADHD and other quirks I have, such as hypermobility. And I found some research that suggests there is a disproportionate amount of people with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Hypermobile type, that are also diagnosed with ADHD. And that the EDS may infact be the cause of ADHD-like symptoms due to abnormal connective tissues, how that affects things like blood vessels and blood flow to the brain, and perhaps the brain itself. If that is the case, the ADHD would be secondary rather than primary. Do you have any insight into the connection between the two, and whether the treatment of secondary and primary ADHD is/should be treated differently?
34:15 I'm 100% sure this is what happened to me. I was able to (intentionally) dodge an ADHD diagnosis for 20 years( because I didn't want to believe it), but I have diagnosed mild OCD. This makes total sense that the Ocd was there as a way to help with the forgetfulness of ADHD
Recently been diagnosed with anxiety/depression alongside my ADHD but many of my symptoms seem to add up to BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I have a history of a variety of trauma. Would be helpful to know what differentiates BPD and ADHD type disassociation, mood swings and RSD as they are present in both and I don't know if there is merit perusing another diagnosis
I was part of a friend group before 3rd grade. But looking back I was on the edge of the group. I was only close to one of them. 3rd grade I was home schooled and lost track of them. My brother in law drew me into becoming friends with one of his friend's daughters, but slowly we lost track of each other. 4th grade I started at a new school and only had 1 solid friend. There was a girl in the special ed class who took a liking to me, but we only saw each other briefly when our recess overlapped. Suddenly the only friend I had in my class snubbed me and went off on her own. Later I learned the other girls wanted her to ditch me and be part of their group. Took weeks before she chose me, but that hurt. She had to think so hard and long to conclude this. I only ended up with friends in middle school because our class advisor pushed them to invite me to lunch. That was my best time for friendships. By the last year of high school there were only 3 of us left, but we were tight. 🤔 They were both in Resource. One of them has ADHD. Didn't have many close friends in college. I kept up with two, but one went her own way after awhile. I have the two friends from middle/high school, one from college, and lots of friendly acquaintances. And we're actually not very close. Sometimes, but not consistently. Ya know...I don't see close friends more than ~3x a year. It is what it is.
I recently read some research about PTSD and ADHD, and there was discussion of how both have a "fear circuit deficit" the two articles were on ADDitutude mag, so I'm not sure how reputable they are, but I'd love to know what you and Patrick have to say on that.
I’m so sorry what happened to your mom. The impact it had on your family. As a survivor from a car accident myself, I get how life changing it can be. My heart goes out to you and your family. May your mother Rest In Peace ❤️🩹
Considering the high cooccurrence of ADHD and dyslexia, why isn't there currently more research existing about hyperlexia and ADHD? Most studies on hyperlexia are only being conducted on children with autism, let alone adults or people outside of the spectrum.
I was lucky to have one good friend in grade school. My ADHD prevented me from having any close friends. Looking back, I think kids were just uncomfortable being around me for very long. Bullies gave up on me because I was persistent in grossing them out, and I'd try to be friends with them.
So I have a lot of Thoughts throughout this so I'm gonna have a lot of comments, bear with me please: For sleep stuff, I used to have a lot of delayed sleep from about 15, and it's gradually gotten better as I age, but the only thing that has really helped is starting my evening routine at sunset every day, so I go to bed really early now and I actually sleep better since light disturbs my sleep a lot
My psychologist has found that in women diagnosed with ADHD later in life who see them in their practice, PTSD in some form is almost guaranteed, because they've been blamed and denied help for most of their life. It's amazing to finally get help!
That’s not going to cause PTSD.
@@jordanhenshaw 40 odd years of being punished for circumstances beyond your control is definitely a thing that can cause PTSD-C
@@FreyaKitten Wrong labels. That doesn't mean your experience is invalid, or not worthy of attention, however.
@@jordanhenshaw I assume you're a licenced psychologist or similar to make such a judgement about the psych terms my psych is using?
@@jordanhenshawI'm a man and will say that I can't diagnose myself I'm not a doctor. I'm pretty sure growing up with an ADHD brain in a world meant for neurotypicals and a father lacking empathy and scared by war caused me to have some pretty decent PTSD. I'm only really discovering it recently but oh yea it's there. Have more empathy
For others who got here well after the streaming had ended, the content starts at 7:08. :)
Doing the good work here!
Thank you for that! ☺️
The real mvp
Thank you good sir 🎩
Thank you!
Really great talk, you should watch the whole thing! But for anyone who wants to hear about specific topics, I tried my best:
11:38 Distraction: depression or ADHD?
15:13 Percentage co-morbidities; what is common?
18:25 Bipolar
21:47 Overactive Sympathetic Nervous System vs ADHD Symptoms; Mindfulness
24:50 ASD
29:31 OCD
33:30 Secondary OCD, generalized Anxiety
38:38 Anxiety and Sleep
45:34 Substance Abuse, addiction to medication
50:36 Cannabis
54:59 Eating disorders
57:46 (Motor) Ticks
1:00:29 body focused repetitive disorders
1:01:43 Alexithymia
1:05:23 Autism (Autism and ADHD in siblings)
1:06:36 Panic Disorders
1:10:06 Trauma and PTSD
1:19:40 Sensory Issues
1:20:20 Exercise
1:21:57 Parenting ADHD Brains/Preparing ADHD brains for adulthood
God Bless you!
Thank yo!!!! ❤️
Thank youu
A huge thank you for doing this!
thank u so much 😭
Never be sorry for crying when you talk about your mama.
Just don't say sorry. It's a weakness.
@@rachelkarengreen99 how about “sorry isn’t necessary”, instead?
@@rachelkarengreen99 What do you mean? Like for anything?
@@rachelkarengreen99 Sorry itself isn't a weakness. It is bad to always feel guilty or small, but saying sorry conveys the thought that you are going to try to fix what you are apologizing for, which is very important with interpersonal relationships
@@rachelkarengreen99 saying sorry can also be a strength.
Who's ready to overshare!?! - I felt that to my core.
I am an oversharing introvert lol
@@amandaguerra3685 me too but it’s situational
Here is my oversharing. Please understand me 🥺
Me: I'm not going to share my ADHD diagnosis at work, I'm not going to share my ADHD diagnosis at work.
Also me 1 day after being diagnosed: "so I've got something to tell you"
Ugh. Yeah. It's not one of my worst traits, but I clearly remember three times I really should have stopped myself from over sharing.
You end up feeling vulnerable and exposed if you do it in the wrong social context
I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD this past year at 31. I was confident about being autistic, but ADHD was a surprise. What you said about your intelligence hit home. My intelligence/IQ has been used against me my entire life, and my ability to find work arounds were major reasons it took me so long to get a diagnosis. Multiple therapists told me they were certain of me being on the spectrum, but discouraged me from seeking a diagnosis because of their worry that it would hinder more than help me.
I live in the UK, I have a degree aged 20 , Pgdip, professional qualification. I have diagnoses of dyspraxia, ADHD and aspergers traits as an adult . I received a diagnosis of ADHD aged 41. I was told the psychiatrist who diagnosed with ADHD, I was well behaved in school. I am intelligent and driven.
I don't really get why not getting diagnosed would help symptoms. You'll have the symptoms no matter what you do, but getting diagnosed allows you to get the help and strategies that you need
I hope that IQ leaves the cultural lexicon bc it is unhelpful and was used to racially profile people in the past
I got dx with autism just before my 36th birthday and ADHD just this week at 37. The first assessor didn't think I have ADHD which surprised a lot of people. So I finally decided to get a second opinion and this person agreed with me. Having a dx doesn't make symptoms go away but it sure does make me feel so relieved. It's never too late to get a diagnosis!
@Nazra Rain, I agree, I have been wondering about that myself. Are they worried the stigma will make things worse? I think that the diagnosis would be beneficial so that we can work on strategies that will help with things that are harder for those with a diagnosis vs neurotypicals. I have a friend who is convinced I have autism like her. But the last therapist, who specialized in it, was adamant I didn't. I am pretty positive I have ADHD, but have had a hard time finding a psychiatrist who is accepting new patients. Where I live health care is very limited, and I'm grateful I got in with my current therapist who just stopped taking new patients. She is wonderful so far, but it's only been a few weeks. She asked me if I had ADHD on the 2nd visit, and my close friend has been convinced I have that, too, for a while.
Jessica's forthrightness about her process is so incredibly validating. I hope she knows how much she helps people jist by being her honest self. She is amazingly brave. 💜🖤💜🖤
She's so fantastic! 😊
Ive just found her today and she's already changing how I see myself. What a powerful woman!
Has anyone ever looked into the correlation between anxiety/depression in adults with ADHD and negative feedback received during their formative years? I guess I'm wondering if it's a nature vs nurture thing, and if external factors or brain chemistry matters more when it comes to developing mood disorders later in life. I still struggle with poor self esteem in my 30s, and I'm extremely defensive of children with ADHD because I don't want them to have to end up like this. But tbh, I've never met anyone with ADHD who didn't experience near-constant criticism growing up, so I really couldn't tell you what that looks like.
Good question!
@Hannah Shepherd I believe that studies have found that is a frequent occurrence. I believe Dr. Halowell has spoken about this. Also mentioned by Rick Green. Good for you gaining understanding about this at your age. I've got 20+ years on you. Didn't find out about any of this until late 50s.
That leads to issues you thankfully won't have to deal with.
In my case, I had supportive parents and a narcissist grandparent... So that was fun.
Hannah Shepherd I've actually noticed the same thing! I've got ADHD and grew up with a lot of verbal abuse, and it's been the same with every other ADHD sufferer I've met, at least when I learn about their childhood.
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947 ( It unfortunately still happens.) Being compassionate and kind adults takes practice, and can be quietly done. Maybe those efforts will ripple along to counter the messages someone else got that they weren't enough.
I was so much better at masking my ADHD as a kid and year by year it got more difficult. People used to say I was gifted but a slow learner, as I got older they just started saying I was lazy, not trying hard enough and wasting my gift. By the time I got into college years of being treated like that lead to me getting bad anxiety and depression which caused doctors to miss my ADHD for years until finally one found it. I was kinda shocked, I never knew that ADHD wasn't just having a hard time sitting still, that it's so so much more than that and my experiences throughout my life made sense for the first time.
“How to get to sleep when your brain won’t shut off” that question itself explains so much about my life more than I could try myself wow
Thanks haha that was my question. Rn my Brian just won't shut up when I try to sleep at night unless I basicallt run it into the ground so I'm so sleepy I can't even think.
I've always struggled with that, left to it's own devices my brain spins up instead of spinning down so I can sleep. I've needed to have something to focus on, TV when I was young but that's not great because of the ads. An audiobook or low engagement podcast is my go to, or just having the rain or insect noises outside help me chill and sleep.
@@nehamaw it’s weird for me because concerta helps me to sleep. idk how but I can sleep while using my meds regularly but whenever I skip a day I can’t sleep at night I can’t focus on sleeping. I used to say that “I can’t stop thinking” when I was a kid and I got misdiagnosed because of that lol
@@faffinaboot5865 ohh that’s a good one thank you! I fall asleep while watching gameplays of youtubers I know when I’m having bad anxiety. Anything else is just grabbing my attention and keep me up even if I’m constantly falling asleep and waking up over and over
Sometimes I just end up creating a dream in the hopes I start actually dreaming/sleeping lol 😂
When you said you reread scripts until they’re polished and it’s almost soothing. That hit home.
I do the same thing with emails and post. I never really thought about it until you said that, but I take forever to write anything because I reread and rewrite everything a million times.
Coming forever after but on most email systems, you can put a delay when you send emails.
On outlook for work, I've set it up so emails leave 3 minutes after I click send. It helps a lot I find
That’s how I wrote essays at school but I could still make silly mistakes by not reading the instructions properly or not answering the question properly
@@Dancestar1981 Me too! It never failed; I’d always miss something, usually a nit picky detail, in the instructions. My brain would just gloss right over it and mess me up every time.
Yes! I will read and reread posts I've made, edit and re-edit. Then I obsess about the comments. But usually only if I think I'm saying something funny or profound. I can tell the posts and comments I don't care about because they're full of typos...but wait ... How did I know they were full of typos if I didn't go back to reread them?
🤦🏼♀️
Forget everything I just said.
Same! I’m a professional writer and drive my copy editor insane.
I just wanted to say thank you so much to this channel. I have ADHD, Tourrettes, and Dysgraphia and just finished my second to last final of high school. im what you'd call twice gifted at a magnet stem school and so i had to learn early on how to handle my adhd with scheduling, and orginally over scheduling. Even then I always wondered why i felt alone. i was having to study and do everything
solo and figure it out on my own bc no one, let alone myself, knew what I was going through. I felt ashamed when couldn't explain to my friends why i had to stick around after class to finsih tests with accomodations, but YOU helped me accpet that hiding it wasnt something i had to. im not ashamed of who I am any more and ive actually helped other people get diagnosed and shown them your channel and am planning on starting a nuerodiversity awareness group in college that goes out to highschools bc so many people go far to long not knowing theres a better way to succeed in school and life without having to give up everything else. thank you so much. you've changed my life
That is an amazing idea and I hope you can move forward with that. I got missed as a kid in high school and didn’t get a diagnosis until my late 30s. Something like that would have been so useful. ❤️❤️❤️
B Garcia Oh my god that's so much like my story!
This is similar to my story, Im incredibly proud of you.
@@kitdubhran2968 40 and just diagnosed
Thank you for your vulnerability Jessica. Along with ADHD, you’re normalizing grief, trauma, AND self-care. Not enough people openly express this. It brought up a lot of emotions for me also. 🙏 Thank you!
For the sleep+ADHD, I’ve found listening to stories makes it easier to fall asleep IF the reader has a soothing voice. LeVar Burton Reads is amazing for me. Kind of like bed time stories for kids. For me, the story keeps my mind engaged, and if I fall asleep to it often enough just the sound of that voice will help calm me down.
Not sure this would work for everyone, but it’s the one thing that I’ve found that helps. In conjunction with a sleep mask and weighted blanket.
I personally run audible every night on a book i've listened to multiple times. The monotony of hearing a story i know, lets me follow along in my head and sometimes i'm just out in just minutes. No book.... Many minutes.
1:19:02 The Rick Astley Paradox: If you ask Rick for the movie, *Up,* he won't give it to you because he's never going to give you *Up.* By not giving you *Up,* he has let you down.
I wasn’t expecting being Rickrolled in a How To ADHD live stream comments lol
*Angrily UPvotes*
Ffs. How very dare you! This will occupy my mind for years to come... I'll be back in 2025 to confirm
@@Talismantra statistically you are here because you have ADHD.
Have you put something in an electronic calander that descriptovely lays out the steps to getting to and replying to this comment in 2025 as well as multiple reminders set?
Because otherwise, probably, no, no you won't.
@@Celia_Louise sorry but most of us have insanely good long-term memory it’s like karma bc we don’t have any short term one :D so they’ll remember this, in 2025 but most probably they won’t remember why they said it lmao
Calling out this comment.
"Janete B
QUESTION: what is the refusal to do things because you're told you HAVE to do it, in relation to ADHD?"
Because goddamn this is strong, I don't even understand why I have such an extreme reaction to being told I have to do something (on someone else's timeframe, not just a reminder). I literally feel like a mental barrier automatically comes up and it's practically impossible to do the task without being extremely angry during it even when I'm completely conscious of what's happening.
It isn't even an authority thing, it'll be something that I want to do or agree with but the timeframe just doesn't align with the plan my brain has (the plan that I don't consciously know, just 'feel'), but it feels like my brain is screaming "GODDAMNIT I ALREADY KNOW, BUT CERTAIN THINGS I DON'T KNOW HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET SO I LITERALLY CAN'T DO THIS".
Then there is the authority thing, if I don't understand why something is to be done or I think the justification is weak (e.g I know a better way to achieve the stated goal) I'll explicitly refuse to do the thing.
I struggle with this too. As for the things where I don't understand why it has to be done or if I know a better way to achieve the goal, I may not flat out refuse to do the thing, but there is a reason I have a mouse pad with The Grinch on it that says "I'm NOT arguing. I'm explaining why I'm right."
The worst times are when I tell myself I have to (should) do something.. it's like the toddler inside shouts 'No!' and starts having tantrums. I just can't deal with the noise sometimes.
I think it has to do with how much our boundaries have been violated by others BECAUSE of our ADHD. There could be trauma specifically around boundaries, especially time related ones, in addition to the struggles us ADHD folk already deal with when trying to tell OURSELVES to do the task. It's like the equivalent of someone randomly grabbing another person's wheelchair and steering it for them. Ever been told you were too slow or to do something faster? Ever been given a rigid list of instructions and overwhelmed by the lack of breaks or autonomy? Our boundaries have been violated. Of course we're more unwilling to do something when someone else wants to assert control over us.
Also, that brings in the ableism neurotypical people have pushed on us growing up. I had very traumatic experiences with chores and now it is super hard to do them, and that's in addition to what would have already made doing chores difficult. Thankfully I no longer live with family in my 20's or it would be way worse.
TLDR, it might be easier to reframe the unwillingness to do something someone else told you to do as a strict personal boundary. Telling yourself you're unreasonable for not wanting to do something someone else tells you you have to do, especially as an adult, feels like a loss of what little perceived autonomy we have. And you can probably guess what that loss of autonomy via other people is; a boundary violation.
This is so good!! Dr. LaCount’s explanation of why people sometimes aren’t diagnosed as kids is exactly what happened to me. I went to a small high school so the teachers had made sure I was usually sitting at the front of class and they would often remind me to get back to work because I was day dreaming. I was also fortunate to be fairly good academically. Also my parents were fairly strict and routine and my mon was very organized so they kind of kept me in check as well. I started struggling at university and I did manage to get my bachelors but it was a struggle. Also I realized in hindsight that even in highschool I was exhausted after the school day, like I fell asleep on the school bus and wanted to nap once I would get home. Now I know it was because my brain was working overtime to focus and compensate!
it's very informative and I like how humble Patrick is. He's willing to learn.
Thank you, Alison! I'd like to think most good doctors are confident in what they know and, just as important, confident what they don't know. Check out the Dunning-Kruger Effect for a cool graph on the relationship between competence and confidence.
part of being a doctor is you are always learning
Yes, I agree with you Alison!
That comment: 'I wanted to be a fish when I grew up' brought a smile to my face. You're such an amazing person Jessica. :) And your videos have been so helpful throughout my recent diagnosis and medication titration. I finally feel like my life is getting on track.
When I started Vyvanse at the beginning of this year, my anxiety and depression symptoms, which had been really bad for two years prior, went away. I don't think this is a common result of stimulant medication for people with ADHD but it absolutely had that affect for me and I am immensely grateful!
Funny enough, my doctor wanted to treat my anxiety first before putting me on ritalin and prescribed me ssri meds.
For me a lot of my adhd symptoms got better as soon as I started ssri, a bit of a mirror situation to your. But I think that's probably because a lot of my executive dysfunction is rooted in anxiety
My psychologist doctor convinced me to take medication for my ADHD, I was against it because my brother reacted very badly to it several years ago. I have thanked him every day since 💛 Biphentin made me more "depressive", "amorphous", on the other hand, following the bad effects of Biphentin, my doctor prescribed me Vyvanse and revelation. I am much happier alive, I feel so much better about myself, less anxious. My psychologist Dr. clearly told me that he very often sees patients who are less anxious, less depressed, etc. With ADHD medication, what was causing our anxiety would primarily be “side effects” of unregulated ADHD.
I'm interested in learning more about acute stress disorder. I'm definitely someone who will have flashbacks from failures and feel a wave of guilt that is debilitating.
I am very much in the same boat. If you havent checked out Schema Therapy, I highly recomend it.
I havent been able to fully break through with it, but I identify with it so incredibly profusely (especially the failiure schema).
Guilt is a useless emotion and a hindrance to having high, healthy self esteem. Truly horrible people don't feel guilty for doing their bad stuff but lots of good people feel guilty over things they shouldn't.....It's so backwards.
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947 so true
Thanks for articulating this in words. I experience the same thing regularly but I have always struggled putting it in words to explain it to my therapist.
Although upon researching, it looks more like anxiety / ADHD hyperactive thinking....
Getting diagnosed as an adult really explained a lot of things. I thought "I can sit for hours working on something, how can I have ADHD?" and was quite dismissive at first. But the inattentive type indicators were so clear, and the high sensitivity to rejection dovetailed in so well with the diagnosis. I've always valued my artistic side but found it so crippling to show off my work, is there anything you can recommend in terms of making it easier to put myself out there and ways to better value my time and efforts from a business sense?
They said something about driving and I noticed right off the bat as soon as I started driving a stick shift that it helped immensely with my focus while driving. It made me focus on the shifting which helped with getting distracted. I got in 2 fender benders when I had an automatic and have had no accidents with my stick (been probably 5 or 6 years)
I am so glad to hear about doctor Russell Barkley. He is a beautiful man with his vast precise info. I watched three of his lecture back to back and felt so validated on things I didn't know. Especially in helping children growing through these things and what commonly develops because of untreated ADHD brains. Odd is one. There are several and he is amazingly intense like I struggle to find. It's rare for me to get to a mental state to watch, but so worth it. Even rewatching segments I can't focus through. Don't deter because of my experience, just watch one if you never have, and then watch two more somewhere. He is such a hero being the caliber of person in integrity. It's like Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind level of polish and music just comes from nowhere and becoming encased. Then I'm locked and thinking about what he says as my own to verify and not just mimick what he says. I got to dry my face and get into Walmart real quick. Dang, lol
It's like living in a world of catch 22s.
I haven't even started the video yet and I'm already so excited! This is exactly what I need! I have ADHD OCD and PTSD. Comorbidities are always just brushed over like "oh yeah..those happen too." It should definitely be talked about more.
From a fellow ging, Thank you for doing this.
Please do a video over ADHD's comorbidity with Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia, and Dysgraphia! Thank you for your channel!!!
I would love this too! I’m dyspraxic and have loads of overlap with the symptoms of ADHD. I love this channel cuz where I struggle to find help videos of dyspraxia I can fill them in with help videos of ADHD. It’d also just be nice to get more representation for these conditions as I often feel like I’m forgotten about in neurodiverse communities.
@@Minecraftathop I'm glad I'm not alone in this club. I have dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, and just been diagnosed with ADHD-I May as well collect the whole set. lol!
Yes please! Me and my brother both have dyslexia and ADHD
And auditory processing disorder!
Yes! This could be it's own TH-cam channel!
An interesting anecdote about the relaxation experienced while submerged: I spent about 3 years of my undiagnosed early 20's learning to scuba dive and later teaching it. A huge part of what kept me hooked was the intense relaxation I would feel from being submerged. I've never really felt anything else like it. And when you have enough control of your movement and buoyancy that you can float effortlessly over bright, colourful coral reefs and pretend you're piloting a spaceship on an alien world, it's like some kind of ADHD nirvana! You could make a half-decent argument that during that period I was treating my ADHD with regular, prolonged submersion.
That is so incredibly interesting! I wanna go take scuba diving lessons now to experience that nirvana. ☺️
"Most kids with ADHD don't have a single friend by the 3rd grade..." oooooof, that just hit me right in the feels. I had a few friends, but very few.
me too i had 1 in second grade and when we got to 7th grade she up and left me
Few and far between, when I think about it in this light or rather context the song by the clash is my childhood friends list
Best thing is I rather have no friends then have 1 that was not a real friend. I did not have friends. I thought it was me. I found out when I was was about 30 years old it was me I was scare of being hurt I would not let anyone close and also found out people were scare I would joke on then for being so smart to do things bout side the box made then feel dumb those who spoke up mean to me where jealous or scared of me .
Normal people are scared to and normal people deal with normal people because they can win if playing by the same rules we come along and can do what normal people do on 2 legs we can do on 1 leg. Even if we fall we look good.
A we are worried. The label makes us worry not who we real are.stop living a label live for you you are super.
Same!
I know...
@How to ADHD. Jessica, I know you hear thIs frequently, but I'll say it anyway. You are a blessing to a lot of people. Being so open about painful personal experiences shows just how committed you are to the community, even to the point of emotional and physical pain. I can see you are in a better place in your life and I'm sure everyone is happy for you. I wonder if sometime in the future you may become a therapist. You are gaining such a wide understanding of neurodivergent issues, what a help to people you are and will be.
Thank you for persevering.
OMIGOSH YOUR STORY RESEMBLES MINE. The trauma you experienced highlighted a lot of my problems and I was diagnosed with ADHD afterward.
I went world traveling after college (where I also experienced a lot of trauma especially relating to my faith), and I went to Honduras (several sketchy stories) and Alaska. In Alaska I had a nervous breakdown due to my financial issues, and later in that trip I was attacked by a bear (no injuries fortunately).
Following that, I returned to my home state where I dated someone who turned out to have family ties to a gang.
I was basically afraid for my life frequently through the last 5 years. Getting diagnosed was a godsend, and it set me on the path to recovery. Your channel has played an important part of that!
I really wish I'd been here for this, it's amazing. I've been following you for a little while now, just rediscovering my ADHD which I abandoned the diagnosis as I went to university, which was probably a HUGE mistake, but we can't change the past, eh? The channel has been SO helpful for me as I explore what it really means to me to have ADHD, and what I've just internalised as part of my life without actually understanding it.
how do you stop being afraid of making mistakes? I feel like lifes passing me by because Im too afraid of messing up and I want to change I just dont know where to start. Logically I know everyone makes mistakes and its good to as long as you learn from it, it just feels everytime I personally mess up, i go into existential crisis mode lol
Oh my goodness I feel that on a personal level...
I think you should check into RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). There's a video about it on this channel.
@@zeruty definitely have RSD due to a lifetime of bullying
It's difficult when it hits you in the feels, I think realising your doing it and assessing how much the logic of cutting off those choices can be unhelpful even if it feels emotionally protective. Your never alone so if your not sure just ask a trusted buddy is it me or is it ok.
I think one of the best things you can do is building self-esteem. With a more secure sense of self you get less impaired by external factors.
Just wanted to say thank you to Jessica for being so vulnerable and open with us, its one of my favourite things about this channel
I was super excited to watch this yesterday when I saw it and started watching it…then I got distracted by something less than 10 mins, forgot I wanted to watch it, and remembered 24 hours later. 🙄 Thanks for doing this/posting it!! I loved it!
I didn't watch this live, but I cried along with you. I may not have experienced the exact same things as you have, but what I have experienced have the same results and feelings. So thank you so much for helping me learn about what's going on with me! You've helped me learn more about my disorders with your videos than actual therapists have (and I've had many)! So in my opinion, you definitely deserve that certificate! 👩🎓
This channel changed my life and the way I look at myself and my ADHD. Thank you both and everyone else who helps keep this channel alive 🥰🥰
There’s also Compkex PTSD from adverse childhood events, which is why it took so long to diagnose me as ADHD. Complex PTSD can manifest as ADHD.
CPTSD is radically different from ADHD.
Furthermore, ADHD is chiefly characterized by attention dysregulation. CPTSD on the other hand is chiefly characterized by identity depletion.
This is GREAT!! Thanks for sharing your personal experience! I am especially more comfortable talking about self care since covid, and to hear you say you were going to do some self care validated what I've been thinking about. I struggle with how much is self care and how much is avoiding responsibilities like laundry, cooking dinner, etc.
This my beautiful amazing girl.... You make me feel seen..... I have so much truama and I think the ADHD... Exacerbated the truama so deeply. I need a friend exactly like you girl. It is your channel you videos that made me realize I was undiagnosed all my life. I felt so seen in your story .. Your character of being real makes it ok for me to be real
Thank you so much for the comment about addiction and substance abuse! I was describing the positive effects I saw when I first started ADHD medication (brain fog going away, increased control of my thoughts and time) and someone told me I sounded like an addict. It's been haunting me since then. Your comments really helped put my mind at ease.
I So regret missing this live. I loved watching every minute of that and like usual you helped me have an "ah-ha" moment as well. Thank you for being honest and sharing your experiences with us. I appreciate it so much.
I have liked and subscribed but I didn't know this livestream happened. I may have missed it because I had not found you yet, but I do not want to miss these in the future. At 48, with 15 years of diagnosis and constant treatment, you are changing my life! Thank you
Would love to hear more about parenting teens with ADHD ways to help them but also allow them to be independent. Another episode with Dr. Patrick Lacount ? 😊
Have you watched Jessica's videos together with your teenagers to show you understand and want to work with them?
@@hayleyhilton5018 I have watched some with him yes. My son is actually only 10 but starts middle school this year and high school is right around the corner. I really have a focus on teaching him to be his own advocate. I am always in his corner but I am not always with him. He is doing fantastic but I like to look ahead bit to to prepare 😊
Could you maybe look into and discuss Maladaptive Daydreaming? It is not currently classified as an "official" disorder, but there is a community of people who have experienced it. In a nutshell it is experiencing intense, vivid daydreams so often to the point that it can negatively disrupt a person's life. I would be curious to know if other ADHDers experienced this or of there is some kind of correlation.
The first 5-7 symptoms listed in the DSM-5 are the same for ADHD and bipolar.
Thank you both so much for this incredibly insightful video! You briefly mentioned OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder). I had never heard of OCPD before I was diagnosed with it in late 2017 (along with ADHD, OCD, anxiety and depression). Can you please teach us a little more about OCPD and ADHD sometime?
The actual thing starts at 7 minutes in! Found it by fast forwarding... I understand it's difficult when live streaming, but a note for the replay might be useful.
I wonder the same thing often, about the relationship between my ADHD and the trauma/chaos of my childhood. I now know I had alexothymia and/or dyslexothymia. It was so hard to function around other people and it lead to me becoming more and more frustrated with no healthy way to express myself. Thank you for your channel. It has been an amazing addition to my ADHD toolkit and has helped me forgive, love and accept myself as I am.
You are great normal people are intendant by us. We think outside the box and find a way to fix everything fast. We may be more messed up but we are real more together then we know
For bipolar, my girlfriend has Type 1 and I have ADHD, and a lot of the things we have been finding out, since we both got diagnosed rather recently, is that some of the theories about the neurochemical components actually mirror each other, specifically dopamine. Tl;dr: ADHD has not enough dopamine; Bipolar (esp. Type 1) has too much dopamine. Both of our medications would be disastrous for the other. It's more complicated, because... brains, but yeah. They present somewhat similarly, so lots of cross-misdiagnoses, but from what I've read, comorbidity is rare. I thought I might have Bipolar type 2 for a while because I have chronic depression that often comes in waves, and so the hyperactivity from my ADHD was suppressed until the depression eased.
Man, when she talked about her mom's accident I had to pause the video for a few minutes. I was in a car accident that killed the driver (my aunt) when I was 2 and wow, that was a big trigger - but I feel that sense of trauma she described on such a deep level that it made me panic. Thank you for talking about this stuff.
Thank you guys! Jessica we are here for you! Thanks for everything that you do for us 🤗
I think another topic that will be interesting for you guys to talk about, it’s how ADHD affects women menstruation cycle! ✨🧡
Ohhh YES!! That would be amazing!
The intro music sounds FANTASTIC at 1.5x speed!
You are such an amazing creator. You have taught me so much about my ADHD and have helped me understand that my bipolar diagnosis could be better explained by ADHD impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. You've helped me understand myself better and you're an incredibly inspiring person. Thank you so much for making the content you do. ❤❤❤
Oh Jessica, my heart hurts for you. Big hugs. I love your channel *so much* because you allow your vulnerability to be present and you have so much passion for a topic I'm also passionate about. I feel less alone.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late high school years alongside persistent depressive disorder and anxiety. I have been diagnosed with spastic hemiplegia cerebral palsy since I was born due to having a congenital brain injury.
Though it feels like a double whammy having both the brain injury and the ADHD because my brain injury actually has caused me to develop some of the same problems that are common with ADHD. My parents and I have always joked that it’s which came first the chicken or the egg? type of situation in my case. My parents and I have also had come to the realization that I might possibly also be on the autism spectrum as well. However I’m not going to pursue an autism diagnosis as my parents and I are afraid that it would jeopardize my eligibility to continue to be in this vocational rehab program that I have been in since the beginning of this year.
It’s possible that when I complete the program that I will be able to pursue getting the autism diagnosis, but the fact that my brain injury and ADHD have some overlap with autism has me wanting to look into it more.
Do you think you could do an episode on adhders shutdowns. I tend to shutdown alot of them and they've gotten worse since quarantine. I'd like to know if its a symptom of adhd or something else and if it is what are some adhd friendly ways to avoid shutdowns or work through them.
Need this!
People with autism and ADHD both can have shutdowns
Could you explain what you mean by shutdowns? I'm wondering if it's the same as mine, lol.
For me, after getting overwhelmed by the spinning, I'm done and go take a nap, lol. Now, I'm disabled between mental and physical issues, so I can do that. But when I was working, I'd push through until the end of the work day, and go home and collapse just from the mental exhaustion of trying to be "normal" with people. And I took a lot of mental health days because there were days I just couldn't do it.
So I wondered if that's the kind of thing you meant?
Thisssssss
My shutdowns are if I'm getting embarrassed or frustrated by not understanding something. I'll just say "stop stop, just forget it. " and won't try anymore and just say I can't do it. For me it's literally a shut off. It's gotten so much worse as of gotten older. I use to be able to push though.
yeeeeeei, I have seen the comorbidities subject in ADHD elsewhere and love that you got to discuss these with Dr. Patrick LaCount, this was a much needed video :D
I am so grateful for this channel and especially you Jessica. I am in complete agreement about how special your vulnerability is. I find it inspiring. I recently told my partner that the venerability you show is how I feel inside and it gives new the opportunity to let some of that emotion out when I cry with you. Thank you so much for being you.
I've noticed that wether or not stimulants lead to increased anxiety is depending on the person but it does happen for sure.
When I was on top of everything and using my stimulants to get my work done it decreased anxiety but once things were not going well the stimulants just made me anxious.
Your vulnerability makes you human and real. Polished is great, AND yet leaves a question in a viewer about your humanity/realness. Thanks for being the real you. I see your pain.
My elderly mom had a brain injury from a car accident 3 years ago. Fortunately , Michigan had gold standard no fault insurance at the time.
She needed 1-1 attendants, 24/7, for 1-1/2 years. We definitely couldn’t have afforded her care. I tried to take care of her for a week & had to cal 911 because she got an infection and I didn’t have the professional expertise to recognize it. She almost died. She is well now except short term memory, and in a good facility (she’s 87).
Even though she is stable and happy, her condition is difficult for me to deal with. She went from healthy and vibrant to elderly in one moment. Grief is everything some days.
I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 at 19 and I’ve realized over the last few years that I’m most definitely not. When asked if I was experiencing mania I said yes because I didn’t have the words to describe what I was going through. Hyper focusing and masking. I’ve only realized that I actually have ADHD which I didn’t know at the time runs in my family and I’m almost positive I have ASD as well. I came from a home that told me girls didn’t get that and we didn’t want to associate with those people because it makes us look bad. Awful, I know. It’s why I have depression of course. But I was on medication for Bipolar and ended up dropping out of college and making a lot of bad life choices because of this misdiagnosis. I wish I could’ve had a resource like this channel back then.
When you realize how much your parent helped prep you despite not being diagnosed. My mom totally did the scaffolding thing with me!
One of the biggest rewards I get watching your videos is that I somehow recall tasks I need accomplished and find the motivation to complete them but I have to rewind your videos to catch what I've missed.
I got this after the live was over. I wish I’d had it sooner.
About getting to sleep what helps for me is a good night routine (same time, same routine of brushing teeth,etc), no screens an hour before, 'closing off my day' in my journal where I look at the day past, do a brain dump, and plan the next day. But also, what I wanted to add here is in cases where my mind won't shut down and I'm lying awake often times what helps is telling myself stories, like fantasizing and making up stories (fiction instead of reality thinking like ruminating), and if that doesn't help listening to fairy tale audio books or podcasts, so I have some easy story that I don't need to focus on too heavily. I don't know, maybe this would help for others too.
ADHDers are often bullied, which causes PTSD when they are repeatedly abused by peers, parents, teachers. There was an article on ADDitude recently I think.
My sister is a doctor, she does not understand I have dyspraxia, ADHD and aspergers traits. She can’t understand this makes me unemployable. She thinks I am lazy, I can work in a small retail outlet (lots are shutting down even before Covid) and I live in a small town. I apply for jobs and get rejections .She does not take an interest in my conditions.
I earnt the respect of my peers by punching on if i was bullied, gotta learn to stand up for yourself :)
@@TheBloggme violence is not the answer...
@Somebody Somewhere I started kicking and screaming in middle school, didn't earn me any friends, or stop me from being abused my whole life for adhd symptoms. But thanks.
@@TheBloggme adhd and combat sports, eh? honestly, us adhd guys are not the ones to scrap with
I know that my sleep doctor has said that there is often a strong connection between sleep apnea (which I have) and ADHD. So, it's important to have a sleep study done, if you think you are snoring or if you are often exhausted. Very important to treat sleep apnea.
I think the underwater thing affecting ADHD could be linked to the mammalian dive reflex. Automatically slows heartrate among other things.
35:27: If it weren't for you mentioning OCPD, I would have never known to look it up. THAT is my "Shadow Comorbidity." My Major Depressive Disorder and ADHD were pretty obvious, but then my OCPD was hiding in plain sight. Brought it up to my Therapist/ADHD coach, and she said "Sounds Plausible." If I feel like I don't have control, I get anxious (or worse, PISSED).
I've been wondering about something. Does anyone else have really vivid dreams? Like so vivid that it could be a movie? I always had them, but lately it's been like my mind is throwing me into a different action movie each night. It's making me dread falling asleep. Though sometimes they're fun and when I feel myself waking up I can sometimes stop it and go back into the dream. Or am I in the Matrix? :D
I do! Or did until I started a special medication for narcolepsy. There’s a lot of overlap with ADHD and narcolepsy symptoms, and vivid dreams is a hallmark narcolepsy symptom. Those of us with narcolepsy lack hypocretin, which regulates sleep/wake cycles. We get thrown into REM without much warning, which creates vivid dreams, sleep paralysis, and/or hallucinations. If you feel constantly exhausted no matter how much sleep you get at night and have episodes of an uncontrollable urge to take a nap at inappropriate times, it’s worth getting a sleep study. You could have narcolepsy in addition to ADHD. Narcolepsy is also often misdiagnosed, so it can go undetected for years.
I have legit wrote a full movie script that I 1000% want to be a thing, to the point of I knew who to cast in it.
I´m also someone who dreams up whole movie scripts in vivid detail. Its great when your bf turns into a dragon and you get to fly around and its terrible when giant scorpions are chasing after you...
I do and I think it's a sign we are not getting deep enough sleep. We are spending too much time in the REM cycle. Sounds great but our brain also needs the deeper sleep to rejuvenate.
@Phantom may I ask how long have you been using 5htp? How did that affect you? I have adhd and I wanna get started on it I’m just spooked because of heart-related side effects that some people talk about.
I do the same with sleep. I cannot do mornings but I get up when the sun goes down and I go down when it gets up.
Great show keep up the good work.
It’s so cool to hear you guys talk about comorbidities and ADHD. I wrote about AHDH and comorbidities following into adulthood for my independent research paper last year. This was a great refresher! I have been seeing a therapist and got diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago at age 20 and I’m still figuring g things out for myself and I’m going to try them this summer before I go back to uni. My dads side of the family struggles with alcohol and substance addictions, I am scared of the effects that different meds will have on me me. My stepdad recommended I try Biphentin, what do you guys think I should take?
The connection between sensory issues and being submerged in water is wild!!! I have always loved swimming underwater, and was diagnosed with ADHD at 26. being under water was always incredibly calming for me, and it was hard to leave the beach at the end of the day.
Is it possible to get the main paper references that Patrick cited today? that would be awesome like BIG TIME. Thank you Jessica, Patrick and the whole How to ADHD team!
For people with sleep issues, I found that putting a podcast on and then listening to that is helpful. It’s stimulating but not that much. Right now I am listening to the entire history of philosophy. Which is interesting but not that much, so I can drift off. I also turn it on and then don’t touch my phone again so there’s no blue light.
I do the same thing! Also I think I listened to the podcast you are referencing (Philosophize This?) as well to fall asleep. It's great!
thank you for the stream and for the openness and honesty you handle the questions with! Well done! ^_^
Regarding TIC's, it can be mild Tourette's Syndrome that is exacerbated by the stimulants. My son has Tourette's that is usually very mild unless he's taking ADHD stimulant medication then it increases significantly! Tourette's is verbal (noises or words) and physical tics combined. A high number of people are not diagnosed who have Tourette's Syndrome.
To say I had no friends at 3rd grade would be a mistake, however being a basebrat meant friends migrated and making new ones was a test of patience. It felt like I was always wearing people out.
same
In my experience it is true. I have 2 kids with ADHD, 7 & 14. each has only 1 friend. It really hurts the 14 year old.
I can relate to this experience as I moved around every few yrs as a child and constantly having to fit in and make new friends was tough.
I feel like wear friendships n relationships out also, like I kinda push ppl away. I think depression and anxiety as comorbidities of adhd and ads is a big part of this though. Ppl dont know how to be around unhappy 😕
42:43 I deal with being bored at bedtime by using earbuds and listening to (non exiting, quiet) livestreams. They're entertaining enough that my mind stops racing for stimulation, but boring enough that I fall asleep and stay asleep better with the mild stimulation going on in the background
I wish we could talk more aboit body focused repetitive disorders like they start to around 54:00. I’ve rocked since I was in the crib. I need to rock back and forth in order to fall asleep. But any time I’m laying down I have to do this. They call it stereotypic movement disorder.
I Zone out and tend to daydream. While I do this. I’m sure this is a self soothing Behavior.
I’m 43 and i have basically been single all my adult life cuz this is so embarrassing. It’s hard and almost impossible to sleep in the bed with others.
Help!!
Any other body rockers on this thread?!!!
Yes. I’ve always done this.
I have asked this question as well. My BFRB is Trichotillomania and I want to know if it's linked to ADHD and the tendancy to be restless, fidgety and such as a way to self-regulate as you mentioned.
I am the same as you in that I'm not even aware I'm doing it half the time. This 'zoning out' may be related to ADHD as well.
Hope we can find some answers! x
@@beth7921 Have you ever tried to stop? Do you feel tension in ur body if you do try?
I'm so fascinated by this. This is the first time that I read that someone else does this too. I did it mainly in my childhood. For me I think it was self-soothing, because I was in a poor adoption center as a little baby where they wouldn't give you the care and attention you needed. Although I don't do this anymore now, my body is extremely restless. I feel like I have some type of RLS, which not only affects my legs but actually every body part of me. A weighted blanket has helped a bit tho!
Rocking is also a common thing that people with autism do. I don't rock much, but I pick at "disformities" on me, whether it's a hangnail, scab, or my nails are just "too long"
You are such a blessing to this community! I just listened to the part of your moms car accident, and wanted to just hug you. 🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️ No one should ever feel like that. Thank you for being vulnerable in front of us and sharing your traumas and struggles with us. It helps us to feel not so alone❤️
Does anyone else feel like “quiet is violent,” from the song Car Radio from 21 Pilots? The song explains what I feel so well because I am afraid of silence and the thoughts that follow the silence.
Same 🖤
I feel that. If someone is talking to me and I go silent but keep staring at them, there's a lot of darkness flitting through my head
On quieting my dopamine rush before bed - I've found knitting really helpful for calming my dopamine cravings during meetings, tv shows, etc. It can also help me fall asleep. I doing something with my hands that I find soothing and somewhat stimulating (esp paired with audio book), but it's repetitive enough that I'll start to drift off.
Also: playing wave sounds has helped me focus on my breathing and fall back asleep when I wake up anxious and would otherwise do the dopacraving anxiety thing.
Also: reading using a really really faint light, like a Paperwhite kindle. Reading "Why we sleep" has done good for me, but it can backfire if the book is stimulating (esp emotionally - super sad for instance)
Perfect my go too
Why can ADHD symptoms change in intensity? My symptoms weren't very visible to others when I was a child. Since my late teens tho, they've become more prominent.
Same but mine started getting more noticeable starting middle school and just got worse from there
I believe they seem more intense because responsibilities and life things become more important.
@@GoADHDGo Right. When you're young, the demands on your executive functions are small. However, when you get to a level where you have to organize yourself, need to manage your time, actively NEED executive functions, that's where you tend to see your foundation was actually made of quicksand.
I never had noticeable issues with my ADHD until this year. School mixed with Covid has been really stressful, so I started ticking and having panic attacks. When I went to a psychologist, I found out that I had ADHD and perfectionist anxiety. Stress is a big trigger for executive function issues, as you suddenly have more to deal with. As you get older, the responsibilities you have add to your stress which exacerbates symptoms
Different environmets pressure different parts of the brain that us ADHD people have deficiencies in! As you get older you need to depend on yourself more, and specifically your executive functions.
I want to thank you so much for educating people with ADHD. I’am one of those people for the fact that I have my 9 year old daughter with ADHD, and I know there’s so much that I have to learn🥰❤️👏🏼👍🏻👍🏻
"Neurodiversity University" Yes!!!
1:13:00 where patrick says “you’re good” it’s so comforting and gentle 🥺
Thank you for the video. I'm studying to be an ADHD Life Coach and I felt your video was very informative. I'm sorry about your mom. Note: There is always a positive that can be gained from a a negative situation. Look inwards and ask yourself how you have grown into a better person as a result of your traumatic past.
BTW - according to Additudemag.com lists Bipolar as a morbidity of ADHD.
I'm comorbid with ADHD (inattentive type) and with Bipolar type 2. I obviously have depression since that is part of the bipolar, but I also have anxiety alongside these. It's interesting to hear about others talk about it since I never hear the two in the same conversation.
How about existential crisis in adhd mind? The thought of everything is meaningless always haunted me
It's a real comfort for me reading this comment. I have at current the same consistency of mindset/mentality. I try, at best, to say meaning is a personal choice power person so there is "meaning" but not really. For me, I try to attach meaning to my kids NOW as my last ditch effort to hang in there with the socal idea of believing in something... But even with my thoughts with my kids, underneath the responsible nature to do right as a parent of my kids, there's still the overriding thoughts and feelings test I'm only full of crap because nothing means, not much, but anything. This might be more than what you expected as a response to having a thought in common,
but this is the first time I've heard this idea spoken of. So, one ADHD brain to another, thank you! 🤙🏿
when someone ask me "what is the matter for you to always look so down?"
honest answer "nothing matters, really"
so yeah you're welcome. i feel you too
not sure if I can offer any insight but definitely feel this one
Here is a tip for those who cannot fall asleep because they’re thinking to much. This is what I do. I usually say to myself, “Okay, I need to get to bed, so I shouldn’t think of these things anymore right now.” Then I just kind of meditate by just thinking of the darkness only and listening to my fan blowing. I also count backwards from 500 (I didn’t think this would work, but it actually did for me) When you find your mind wandering. ASAP Bring it back into the present moment and only think of the blackness you see, the sound of the fan, and counting each number backwards from 500.
Although, sometimes the thing I’m thinking about is something I don’t want to forget the next day and the thing that keeps me awake is the fact that I know I’m going to forget about it when I wake up. What I do for these moments is write down a list of the things I want to think about the next day and stop thinking about it for the night.
You may be thinking, “Okay, great another thing to keep me up. Writing a list.” But if you think about it. Quickly writing a list and not thinking about it anymore may be quicker than still laying there for hours thinking about whatever you’re thinking about. It’s quicker to write down the 5 subjects/ideas you want to think about the next day rather than thinking about those 5 subjects/ideas for hours because you’re thinking about how to use them.
Another tip: If you find that while you’re counting backwards from 500 you’re thinking about, “What if I don’t fall asleep before I get to Zero?” You can always raise the number. I’ve raised it to 700 before.
I turn on white noise loud enough to drown out my thoughts personally
Question: in terms of comorbidity, how common is hypermobility with ADHD? I’ve jumped down the rabbit hole of ADHD research on countless occasions, occasionally seeing if there’s a connection between ADHD and other quirks I have, such as hypermobility. And I found some research that suggests there is a disproportionate amount of people with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Hypermobile type, that are also diagnosed with ADHD. And that the EDS may infact be the cause of ADHD-like symptoms due to abnormal connective tissues, how that affects things like blood vessels and blood flow to the brain, and perhaps the brain itself. If that is the case, the ADHD would be secondary rather than primary. Do you have any insight into the connection between the two, and whether the treatment of secondary and primary ADHD is/should be treated differently?
34:15 I'm 100% sure this is what happened to me. I was able to (intentionally) dodge an ADHD diagnosis for 20 years( because I didn't want to believe it), but I have diagnosed mild OCD. This makes total sense that the Ocd was there as a way to help with the forgetfulness of ADHD
Recently been diagnosed with anxiety/depression alongside my ADHD but many of my symptoms seem to add up to BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I have a history of a variety of trauma. Would be helpful to know what differentiates BPD and ADHD type disassociation, mood swings and RSD as they are present in both and I don't know if there is merit perusing another diagnosis
I was part of a friend group before 3rd grade. But looking back I was on the edge of the group. I was only close to one of them. 3rd grade I was home schooled and lost track of them. My brother in law drew me into becoming friends with one of his friend's daughters, but slowly we lost track of each other. 4th grade I started at a new school and only had 1 solid friend. There was a girl in the special ed class who took a liking to me, but we only saw each other briefly when our recess overlapped. Suddenly the only friend I had in my class snubbed me and went off on her own. Later I learned the other girls wanted her to ditch me and be part of their group. Took weeks before she chose me, but that hurt. She had to think so hard and long to conclude this. I only ended up with friends in middle school because our class advisor pushed them to invite me to lunch. That was my best time for friendships. By the last year of high school there were only 3 of us left, but we were tight. 🤔 They were both in Resource. One of them has ADHD. Didn't have many close friends in college. I kept up with two, but one went her own way after awhile. I have the two friends from middle/high school, one from college, and lots of friendly acquaintances. And we're actually not very close. Sometimes, but not consistently. Ya know...I don't see close friends more than ~3x a year. It is what it is.
I recently read some research about PTSD and ADHD, and there was discussion of how both have a "fear circuit deficit" the two articles were on ADDitutude mag, so I'm not sure how reputable they are, but I'd love to know what you and Patrick have to say on that.
I’m so sorry what happened to your mom. The impact it had on your family. As a survivor from a car accident myself, I get how life changing it can be. My heart goes out to you and your family. May your mother Rest In Peace ❤️🩹
Considering the high cooccurrence of ADHD and dyslexia, why isn't there currently more research existing about hyperlexia and ADHD? Most studies on hyperlexia are only being conducted on children with autism, let alone adults or people outside of the spectrum.
Dyspraxia and / or dyslexia commonly occur with ADHD !
I was lucky to have one good friend in grade school. My ADHD prevented me from having any close friends. Looking back, I think kids were just uncomfortable being around me for very long. Bullies gave up on me because I was persistent in grossing them out, and I'd try to be friends with them.
So I have a lot of Thoughts throughout this so I'm gonna have a lot of comments, bear with me please:
For sleep stuff, I used to have a lot of delayed sleep from about 15, and it's gradually gotten better as I age, but the only thing that has really helped is starting my evening routine at sunset every day, so I go to bed really early now and I actually sleep better since light disturbs my sleep a lot