The very first day on methylphenidate, I found my mind wandering and said to myself "No, this isn't the time for that - I need to concentrate on something else"... and that's just what I did. And then I phoned my wife and told her all about what had just happened, while crying in a state of half happiness and half frustration that I've missed 40+ years of being able to control what I'm thinking about.
I'm trying to get help right now. Doctor told me to see a counselor. Visited the Counselor who told me that I have been dealing with ADHD and that I should ask for a certain med. I go back and the doctor that sent me there for an answer doesn't believe it. I'm trying to get an official diagnosis so that is no question one way or the other what I'm dealing with so that if it's ADHD, I can get meds and if it's something else I can work on that instead. I just want to know. I feel as though I do know, but my word is not a diagnosis. been going through this back and forth with the Doctor for about 3 months now. I'm 49
@@DuncanCunninghamgo to a new doctor, if a counsellor can’t give you some sort diagnosis certificate or proof, then your doctor is just going to keep doing this. Go to a new doctor or even report this doctor because he is not expressing your concern with you.
@@DuncanCunninghamgo to a psychiatrist! That seems to be the standard. I saw one who was pretty much saying anxiety from the get go and didn’t feel like I really was able to talk. saw another who asked about my whole life and she said yep! ADHD. I’m so at ease now I can’t believe I never really knew what “calm” or “relaxed” was. It’s a blessing!
I haven't heard many people talk about the pain associated with doing things. It's one of those things that sound silly out loud but are very serious when you're dealing with it.
It's completely normal for all humans to experience this. Rachel is misleading her audience by implying that regular people don't have "pain associated with doing things". Actually, regular people do have this. That's why we practice discipline and productivity. ADHD meds are stimulants, they remove the natural friction you feel when doing stuff. That's because you're high on drugs.
@@AlexSuperTramp-OF COURSE every person feels and needs to actually motivate themselves, but this is disproportionate harder for us. I for one suffer from both depression and ADHS and I am not even slightly exaggerating when I am telling you that I can not bring myself to eat unless I am forced to because of hunger related stomach ache. Fuck my life I wish I would simply be a lazy piece of shit, at least I could at least do the shit I perceive as fun then or engage with a hobby for more than 2 months before having to fight every single day to keep up the motivation to do what I actually love.
This is an expression of disbelief in ADHD as a real condition. It's not simply about discipline or feeling high. The stimulants make one feel at ease. Not giddy or euphoric. Please, respectfully keep this vitriolic logic to yourself. It's not helpful. If what you were saying was true, then people without would not get high on stimulant ADHD medication at therapeutic levels... Which is the premise of your argument entirely.
@@DarthJarJar10 I believe ADHD is real. But people shouldn't get a free pass for getting high on stimulants.Then justifying it with pseudo science. If you have ADHD and take stimulants, you will get high and experience the same general effects as anyone. This idea that it "makes you normal" is not true. It makes you high.
I'm a little over a month in on ritalin now and man... I've missed this my entire life? in about a month I've been able to: get a job, get counselling, get benefits for unemployment, get courses for job searching, get better mental health and many more things I've struggled with for so long and I'm only 22! Thing is I'm not really that mad that I've missed out on this. My struggle has given me a unique view on what life can be and what it is and now that I can function exceedingly well I feel like all that struggling might actually help me haha.
@@justindankert7725 started on 20mg in the morning. Now I take either 40mg once in the morning or 20mg in the morning and then another 20mg 5-6 hours later depending on how well I have slept and how good my breakfast was. Little sleep and food can have negative effects such as slight anxiety and jittery-ness for me. It still works like a dream and I’m really starting to get my life in order. Also the anxiety is gone which is unbelievably nice.
That’s really great man. I’m 29 and only just now am wondering if I have this. I never really read into ADHD and some of my friends growing up who I knew had it were different than me and kinda fit into a stereotype so I didn’t see commonalities. I thought ADHD was merely an inability to pay attention, but really it was the hyperfocus aspect I only just learned about that got me on the trail of like “oh wait? People with ADHD can get so focused that they spend hours or maybe an entire day on something? Because I do that shit”
@@dblackout1107 usually if someone has adhd they just vibe really well with other ADHDers, even if their personalities are very different. Look up some tests online and a list of symptoms and see how high you score on it.
Something that resonated with me about the deficiency point: it sounds like the rewards from being able to do stuff (achieving goals etc) helps increase the self-esteem generally. Which sort of snowballs. So even when not on the medication, my outlook on life is more positive and has a tangible direction. Also reduces stress - I know that, if there are things which need to get done, there will be a period in time when I'll have the motivation to do them. Before the medication that period of time was basically 0 😂 Great vid! The coaching is tempting
Yesss, this makes sense! When I have very 'ADHD' days or get derailed and do nothing, it impacts me less because I have more examples now of times when I have been able to do stuff.
I think part of it is being hopeless and depressed. After a few failures begin to snowball I can get into a feeling of having given up. And the fact is, without the meds, it seems that attempts to kickstart things back up are impossible long term.
That realisation of being able to have a day without tension is HUGE. That waking up tense, filled with thoughts about the day ahead is constant for me, and the idea of that going away, even for one day, would be like heaven. Hearing you talk about it, I can feel the relief through the screen ❤ Also the internalised ableism is wild and probably so easy when we are so hard on ourselves
YES! If my kids are acting up, if they take a bit long to do something, if I’m running a little behind I’m not suddenly PANICKING. I can get over an inconvenience or focus on a task without my mind going into overdrive. My husband used to joke he felt like he needed a vacation after our vacations because I couldn’t relax 😅😭
Do you do a lot of exercise? I literally wouldn’t survive without it. Cardio especially I find is the best for ADHD and I wake up noticeably calmer the days after I exercise- which is pretty much every day because I feel so crap otherwise 😅. If you haven’t already then try and find a sport you really enjoy because then exercise doesn’t feel like a chore and instead something to look forward to.
I found this video so hard to watch. I'm 58 and just starting the diagnosis journey. Your description of being able to do normal things literally made me cry. My whole life I felt like I was abnormal or just lazy. Thank you so much for this video!
The grief at "lost time" is real and quite upsetting. But hopefully the positives of finally understanding why life was so hard, and that it doesn't have to be going forward, will make that bearable. I started this at 35 and am still trying to come to terms with the fact my 4th grade teachers suggested my parents get me tested... I learned a lot of coping mechanisms, and i don't have too many regrets, but life was harder than it needed to be.
@@TheCrazycheetahI’d love for you to let me know how you do after starting the medication, I’ve known for years that I had adhd or add or bipolar, I’m 71 have decided I’ve got to stop wasting my life away, my doctor wants to put me on Ritalin this week I thought he was crazy but now I’m willing to try anything which med are you taking I need all the suggestions since I do not trust these doctors, hope whatever medication you take helps you
I few years ago I started concerta as well, and I remember the first day I took it I found myself engrossed and engaged scrolling Instagram. It was different than usual, and I wasn’t getting so bored. I also noticed that when my mom spoke to me, I was retaining everything she was telling me and actively bouncing off and recalling so much information that I didn’t even know I had in my head. It was like a veil had been lifted off, un-dusted library of pieces of myself I didn’t know I had. I ended up talking with my mom for 4 hours, something that I’d never been able to do in my life. My grades at school also shot up almost immediately because it wasn’t such a drag to get started, and during the work I wasnt constantly being pulled away by distractions or that moody feeling described in the video. Unfortunately, I started having pretty bad side affects around a year later, heart palpations along with chronic headaches. So I made the decision to stop medication. Ever since then, I’ve never been able to feel as sharp as I had been, but I also don’t want to be dependent on medication to feel normal. In a sense, I think I value not being tied down to it or relying on it, more than the benefits that it proved to give me. I think a healthier approach for my case is probably to be more gentle with myself and understand where I’m going to struggle. ADHD can make some stuff impossible, but not everything. More hands on mentally AND physically stimulating things I’ve found to be very engaging and I tend to do well in. Whether that’s working with your hands, or playing video games with many inputs so your hands remain busy. This hybrid style of engagement seems to be the perfect sweet spot. Monotonous repetitive labor seems to be too mentally bland. While pure theory seems to get too abstract when not related to something physically. Pure mind is difficult to remain engaged with, pure body is the same. Hybrid seems to be work best.
The same thing happened to me. Concerta was great for reducing my ADHD symptoms, but I also got pretty bad side effects. I'm now on another type of medication (vyvance), and it's not as effective as concerta was
Random mid-video comment: You mentioned swimming and I just had a lightbulb moment: I used to go swimming after work at least once a week for a while at the beginning of the year but because uni and work got so busy I completely forgot about that. I don't think I've been swimming after work even once since starting my meds in summer. I definitely need to try that again! I am now pausing the video to pack my swimming bag to throw in my car tomorrow before work. I may not go swimming tomorrow, but the reduced barrier of having the bag ready (paired with the fact that there is a pool right at my workplace) is the only thing that got me to go before and I really should start that habit again. I hope I remember to finish watching the video after packing my bag.
My first day on methylphenidate I cried. I was diagnosed in my 50s. It was the first time in my life focus on something that wasn't interesting or urgent was not a struggle. I feel like I went through life running through thigh high mud while the others ran on grass saying "it's easy, just focus!, try harder!". It's life changing
I wrote 1/3rd of 2 books when ConcertaXL was new for me. Then after about 3 months I was back to mostly just beating myself up for getting 'distracted' in the hole of a video game or whatever, but it was b/c I didn't want to do long term projects. Concerta in the medium-term basically made me MORE ADHD in a way b/c it made me want to focus on many short term accomplishments. I did become a bit better at work, but then found myself running out of work (Which is normal at this job) and getting SO FREAKING ANTSY! Videogames couldn't sate my antsyness anymore and I would just wander around the house trying to come up with little things to do. Cleaning or whatever. Then my chronic pain would flair up (foot muscle issue) and inflamed that and I had to sit again and now I was extra wired up b/c I couldn't move around but I was SO FREAKING JACKED UP and wanting to MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!! To be clear, I have NEVER EVER had hyperactive ADHD. Just inattentive. I started to wonder if these meds were actually helping and the final straw was when I went driving to the coast down the street w/ my wife and we saw some seals. It was great, something that in the past I'd enjoy greatly with her and be like WOW COOL. Instead, I was like "ugh, great. Who cares. Little dots on the horizon, big whoop, come on lets keep walking gotta MOVE MOVE MOVE!!! and I realized I didn't want to be this person. I wanted my old self back where I was less effective as a productive capitalist worker but actually able to meander around and enjoy my life at the slower speed I prefer anyway. Not being able to appreciate a wonderful, rare moment in nature completely killed my desire to be a medicated person. Concerta also made me irritable to a degree that scared me. With the MOVE MOVE MOVE crack-cocaine effect I think it made me want to use all my muscles. Like my hitting muscles. I had stronger urges towards physical violence than ever before in my entire life, even my adolescence. I would just sit there in my chair when someone did something that annoyed at (my remote career) work and want to SCREAM and slam the wall. Normally I'd just go "Ok weirdo" and go back to whatever it was I wanted to do. Concerta kinda robbed me of the desire to WANT to do things and more like I was suddenly COMPELLED to try to do AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE. I stopped working on my novels b/c progress was way too slow. I was getting tense and frustrated and digging my nails into my palms b/c everything was too slow. The whole experience with concerta left me somewhat questioning if I even really have ADHD! (I never associated with the Hyperactivity bit anyway. I'm infamously sloth-like, everyone who knows me long enough comments on it!) I have my leftover meds and I occasionally take one for a day or two or three but EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! I regret it. I am always left wondering "MAN! Why am I SO AGRO lately?" Then I remember. The little boost on projects is quite great, but I just have had to come to terms with the fact that I am NOT, personality-wise, a 'high achiever' in a monetary, capitalist, mercantile form. And I am too worried about becoming an irate, abusive (verbally, physically) man like my dad always struggled with too. The interesting thing is that I've started to consider I'm more AuDHD (Autism + ADHD... or maybe Asperger's + ADD to use the obliterated terms) than anything. And reading about how autistic bodies tend to be 'fine tuned' and meds can go way strong or do almost nothing seemed to line up with my aberrant Concerta experience. Luckily, I moved departments at work and no longer work with a psycho slave driver boss and instead have a cool, very relatable chill boss and I don't need meds at ALL to succeed now. Goes to show that pills don't solve problems. And I don't have to have these long, awkward silences around my wife anymore when I bring super-agro energy to a question or problem she tells me and scare her anymore! I hate ADHD-medicated me. (But I've been eating edibles and doing art in the evenings and that's been WAY better for my overall life!)
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment. I have an Audhd kid who is really struggeling and we're thinking about meds. You're experience with meds is something I will have to watch out for. I'm aspie without adhd and have the same positive experience with taking edibles in the evening. It's just not something I can give to my kid bc of the negative effects of the developing brain. Thanks again, your comment is really helpful
Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability. I was diagnosed last year at age 53 and when you said, "...medication has given me a massive sense of relief to cope with the day-to-day and without it...I don't know where I would have landed this year... people with ADHD are getting diagnosed as adults because the more years pass by the harder it is to just sustain life when you feel like that...," it really resonated with me. I am glad you have the help you need earlier in your life.
I started methylphenidate 3 and a half weeks ago increasing slowly every week. Same life changing experience, glad I watched this and I'm now aware of the possible burn out so I can try to avoid it. Definitely aware that now I feel capable I have to teach myself new skills in managing myself. I've never had the luxury of feeling able before, like anything was possible 💕
I started methylphenidate today. Feeling hopeful and nervous. Thank you for making this video. Its given me a bit more reassurance giving this a go. I am really hoping it will help me function better
@@qwjd8s693pt4kaun it was okay. My doctor has me trialing dexamphetamine at the moment before I settle on one. So far I think dex is better for me. Quieter mind but don't feel as edgy or weird
I cried. I need to go and be diagnosed properly. Because how you describe the negativity is so real. Thank you. This is my first video of yours. Thank you
I was undiagnosed till I was in my mid 40's and went on Vyvanse and I understand completely how you feel. I didnt know life could be easier. It lifts my anxiety and imposter syndrome and allows me to function like a normal human.
Big this. It makes you more confident in yourself and its easier to actually have conversations with people because you arent anxious that you will say something stupid. Ive been off a year and my life has been rough, but hoping to get back on meds soon.
@@Humbledone. the withdrawal is hard. For someone like me I would not always take it on the weekend. Without taking it, I couldnt really do anything but sleep. And then there is the thought you know you arent operating right, and you may feel a little more hopeless.
The way you speak about ADHD is not only relatable to me and refreshing in its vulnerability, you often offer me new ways to regard myself and my ADHD diagnosis. Thank you for everything you do. I am quite glad I found your work.
You're one of the first people that I've ever heard describe their ADHD in the same way I experience it. Non-stop tension, like constantly trying to stick your hand in a pot of scalding water, even for things you like, the constant stand-by mode, all of it. I was like you as well, I didn't believe the diagnosis until the meds worked and that was life changing. Sady Vyvanse was working for me but ended up triggering strange neurological symptoms so I've had to pause it, and that's been really hard, struggling with the ADHD symptoms but also struggling with feeling like a junkie (I know that's harsh language but you gotta feel the feelings and process them). But yeah, the day when I had to walk away from the meds was hard in a way I never expected. That being said I'm working with my GP to see if Concerta can work, and honestly it's skills and pills and 1 month of Vyvanse has given me access to skills and understanding that I will carry forever, regardless of whether or not I can keep taking stims. Thanks for sharing!!! Your content has been the most helpful ADHD content I've come across 🩵
Thanks so much for saying that! And for sharing your experiences too. It's so helpful to read how things have and haven't worked for you, and how you're dealing with those feelings 💛
I've just started my Concerta a couple months ago, I explained it to my therapist that it was like I was treading water my whole life and now I've finally gotten out of the pool. Also thank you for mentioning the PMS thing, I noticed that with me too, I haven't had a chance to talk to my doctor about it yet but it's good to know I'm not alone in it.
I watched your 30 days video first, then was recommend this one. WHAT a difference a year makes! It seems like you've grown 2 decades worth of self awareness. ❤ Makes me excited for the possibilities after my psych eval in a few days.
That it me very hard when you said that life is harder to sustain the further you go in life living without stimulants. I was diagnosed at a young age, but stoped treatment not long after and lived my life untreated. Being an adulte with responsabilities and kids makes it really hard to go through a day because it requires me to spend so much mental energy for what I concider "basic" tasks and actions.
I’ve recently had my 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with ADHD and I was 31 at the time. I’m not currently on any meds because I’m trying for a baby. But this video is so helpful to have, if I one day decide to go on medication. Just want to say, I related to so much you said and it makes me feel seen. A big thank you ☺️
I wish I would’ve been diagnosed before having my kiddos! I had countless days my husband would have to get off work because I’d be so overwhelmed I’d have panic attacks, or couldn’t handle my kids! They’re still little though so thankfully I can now be patient and parent with reasoning, not emotions in overdrive.
Your videos have really helped. Diagnosed at 48 privately after waiting over 4 years on the NHS. Have always had a chequered work history, got stressed and left jobs, got fired etc. Have struggled with anxiety, OCD, depression. In the last 2-3 years my (inattentive mainly) ADHD got a lot worse due to the perimenopause - alot of people don't realise this can make ADHD a lot worse I said I can tell you now I don't have ADHD, but did the intitial screening and answered yes to most of the questions - I didn't know about Inattentive ADHD. The stereotype of the small boy runing around made me think they were barking up the wrong tree. Things are still challenging, but I think meds are helping to some extent. My diagnosis explains much, and by the time I finally got it I was pretty certain I had ADHD. Can't beleive how hard it was trying to get a NHS diagnosis. Thank you for being so vulnerable on here and so very eloquent in your descriptions of ADHD and how you feel. Do you have a website for coaching or somewhere I can get more information on your fees etc. Thanks
70 year old…official diagnosis age 68. Adderall one year…big help but is not the total answer. I am also going to need increase in dosage and you are right about different strategies for on meds versus off. Face reality as well a neurodivergent person on meds is not neurotypical! Yes, validation is so important ! This is why TH-camrs like yourself are so helpful. You articulate my feelings. I am less alone.
Finally got diagnosed at 34 and started Concerta about a month ago. Your "one month in" video really resonated with me and it sounds like we have similar "flavors" of ADHD. Noticing the massive improvement from these meds has been a lot to process. My primary caregiver thought ADHD was "fake" and did not listen to my school teachers when they said to get me evaluated. I didn't have ADHD, I just wasn't disciplined enough! After years of being told I was lazy, undisciplined, spoiled, I really started to internalize those messages. Took me decades to realize I needed to seek diagnosis and treatment. With the meds, so many things are so much better. There is certainly no going back for me.
OK, so, I'm very in that ADHD PMSing zone of the feels right now, and I've already been crying all day. But this video, your story, and your journey have brought me hope for my own journey. ❤ and so many more tears 😭 I was only diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago at 44, and I've been really debating taking meds for it. The idea of something NOT being hard is just so foreign to me! I can't imagine actually being able to do something I want to do without having to DRAG myself along to get it done! 🤯 Your video has given me so much HOPE for my future. It really IS going to be OK. ❤
Can relate to this a lot, it's probably been around a year on my medication as well, the shame and embarrassment hits differently on medication, because it feels like the road block that was there is gone...therefore no excuses therefore if im not being productive feels like i'm being genuinely lazy...also looking back on how I was pre meds, and then the time when im not on meds now, i still feel like I have the brain of a toddler. Around the right people I can laugh about it more now because I know its not "permanent"' but the difference between me on and off the meds can give others whiplash if they don't know. Got to be patient with yourself, an like give yourself permission to slow down when needed to avoid burnout, find out how neurotypical people rest, even they need rest. As for the heavy feeling on deficiency when not on meds, not feeling trust for yourself that's definitely a good point, there were some days where I wrote on my daily planner that it was a bad brain day...so I didn't get everything done even when on meds, I treat the meds as not the only net to catch me, while on them I'm also forming routines, and good habits that I know once ingrained will persist at least in my mind when I'm not on meds to cut through the chaos and something I can rely on. We've been "catching ourselves" all of our lives, and since meds I actually notice how good I got at it, and can now actively see how I did that, all the strategies I put in place before medications to catch myself when my brain got distracted, we have almost got faster reflexes an our internal voices are louder because they've had to be for so long to survive, I think it's something we can kind of be proud of ourselves for. Those instincts and reflexes I've found haven't gone away, and they can help you remember to trust yourself when not on meds, because you did survive all that time, with meds its now more working on thriving than just surviving, being able to catch up on the things that you wished so badly to do but couldn't before. Still moving forwards, just able to run now instead of walk, not being on meds just means you're back to walking, after be able to run, its going to feel slower, maybe like you're not moving at all in comparison but you are moving forwards, sometimes walking when your muscles are tired is exactly what you need to do. There's I quote that I have that I look at very often "if you get tired, learn to rest, not quit" supposedly its from the artist Banksy. It helps me a lot. We're all in this together, so don't give up just continue to move forwards, one step at a time. Another helpful quote "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", or "keep on keeping on" as my family puts it "just one foot in front of the other :)
I LOVE this. Thanks for sharing!! Love what you said about catching ourselves and how good we've got at it - you're right, definitely something to be proud of.
Personally, as someone who loves to go see friends, I am realising it’s that burn out of dealing with the overload of so much going on (that I love) in a busy London pub talking to mates. I am realising that it’s not about that evening, it’s about how much i have left in the tank and how much I have been on top of my game 🙂
it‘s so wild to me now that i know i have adhd that other people feel this too. it‘s like you‘re taking my problems i‘ve experienced my entire life and are putting them into words… holy crèpe
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm trying to understand more so I can help my teenage son. We are about to get a consult for meds and I want to be informed whether most people have positive experiences as they look back. Thank you for being open to us all.
I only found your channel this evening and have binge-watched for the last couple or so hours, randomly back and forth in your time journal. My god how you’ve grown and changed by the time you made this. You are so much more coherent, together, rational, everything about you has grown. Sharing your journey so openly, ‘warts and all’, has been so informative and inspiring, and gives such insight into the challenges, positives and pitfalls along the way that we may expect while embarking on a similar journey. While at the ‘beginning’ of my ADHD discovery, at the age of 60 I’ve had a lifetime of dealing with this stuff without knowing what it is or that other people experience it too and understand what is going on in my head. So for me, while I may at some point regret not finding out sooner, I can only see net positives overall if I can experience some of the improvements that you’ve shared and are evident in your presentation, but with your help I may anticipate some of the challenges I may face. I have far fewer years left to make the most of and I finally have some hope that a better life is there if I keep pushing for it. Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly and may you continue to grow and help others.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's great to hear about your journey and the positivity and promise you are seeing! I also really appreciate your perspective on how I've grown, from watching my videos. Because I'm living it, I kinda forget about the videos I did a year ago and I forget to pause and be like, oh wow yeah, look how things have changed! Thanks for being here!
I'm over 40 and am about to take Concerta for the first time tomorrow. I'm nervous for a number of reasons, but, right now it's potential side effects and just the reality of the positive being possible. I've lived my whole life with certain troubles (not sure where a learning disability ends and adhd begins), and I've cried so much just thinking about the possibility that I might be able to do...anything. Decades of things have piled up. Working a normal job seems almost impossible. I've had a bit of a mid-life crisis, probably triggered somewhat by my dad's impending death and passing. I thought a lot about where I am now, what life is. I want to feel like I've lived properly, and to be a person dad would be even more proud of. Here I go. Wish me luck.
Good luck. Please tell us how is going? My 10 year old son started today and I have so many mixed emotions and worries. He has been struggling with adhd for so long so I do pray to god the medication will help him fast.
What you shared about the thoughts/feelings that come after starting medication, as well as on the days you didn’t take it after a while, are spot on my experience also. There is a weird thing that happens when you’re on the meds, they’re working, then you don’t take them one day and experience your “default” setting. It’s often depressing.
I'm getting my assessment early next year and I'm kinda praying that I'm one of the people that meds work for, because the people that none of the meds work for make me all nervous about that. No clue when I'll start trying meds since my study and exam phases are really weird next year and there aren't a lot of full months where I can just try out something that might give me headaches or make me jittery. Wish me luck (both with the person that assesses me and meds once I do have the diagnosis)
The odds are very much in your favor. About 90% of people find meds help and a large majority of those don't have significant side effects (remember, comments sections for a video like this will have an over representation of people who have had poor results with meds, as those whose meds are working great are less likely to be watching ADHD videos). When titrating initially, I doubled up one day to see what would happen re efficacy versus side effects and found that I just felt jittery for a couple of hours, but no more productive. Anecdotally, usually people report knowing from the first pill if that medication/dosage helps them. Taking a stimulant medication for a month, to see what happens is a very conservative approach. Some family doctors are extremely (irrationally?) cautious and titrate at much slower rates than current research would suggest is necessary, given the low abuse potential for modern stimulants such as Vyvanse. Talking with friends here in Canada who have recently started meds reveals that doctors range from a week to a month at a dose before assessing effectiveness versus side effects (if any). Good luck!
Thanks for taking the time to make these videos! You inspired me to go get diagnosed for my ADHD today.. At the ripe old age of 36.😊 I start on 10m adderall XR tomorrow for 14 days to see how I react. I’m a little worried about the possibility of abuse and becoming dependent on it for obvious reasons, but if that’s what I need to start forming a structure to my life then I believe it’ll be worth the risk. Thank you again for sharing your experience and I wish you the best in your future endeavors!! ❤🎉
I came across the original video where you shared your experiences with stimulant medication. I'm 29, and have an extreme strong suspicion I have inattentive ADHD. I haven't got a diagnosis yet due to extreme long waiting lists and high price of diagnosis for adults where I'm from. With my master thesis deadline being a week away and me still not making enough progress, I needed a drastic soluiton. I went to my GP and got a prescription for Ritalin. This is quite extreme for me as i wanted to get help after a diagnosis to learn the skills to cope without medication. But the thesis being so stressful and me struggling with executive dysfunction, I decided to do it after all. I've taken three tablets of 10 mg today. The first time in my life and to say that I feel different, is an understatement! Your videos have helped me process and name some of those feelings. Thank you!
It’s been my first two days on concerta instant and it this medication is incredible, it was just impossible for me to work before, havin to sit at my desk and focus on work would feel like I was crushed by 200 tones. It felt like in insurmountable thing, like you, this didn’t stop for work, but for any type of thing I need to do, I constantly left everything I needed to do for later, this got me in a lot of trouble in my life. Whenever I took concerta it felt almost like it was fun to work, and I am a fucking machine , I get super motivated while at my desk, I think something building up on this is the prospect of knowing that now I have a medication when I just feel I can’t do anything, and this makes it work even better I think. I hope tu is will continue and I’ll be able to actually have a life
Yessss, there's definitely a comfort in knowing that you have the option to use your medication. Like it shows you what's possible, which sometimes has a knock on effect on doing more even when not medicated
My history with stimulants: 6-13 methylphenidate IR (Ritalin) mostly 10 mg 2x/d: probably overdosed; emotionally flattened complicated by abuse and psycho-emotional issues. Possible hypo manic withdraw symptoms at the end of it. 25-26: Concerta mostly 54 mg/d: worked at 36 mg for 2 weeks then stopped working at all worked for 2 weeks at 54 but made me jittery then stopped working at all and still made me jittery. 27-28 Dexamphetamine XR: basically the same as Concerta but an even worse ratio of jittery all the time over working only at the beginning. 36-37 Focalin XR: basically the same as Concerta but a slightly better ratio of jittery all the time over working only at the beginning. ~40 Focalin XR: basically the same as first time.
Damn that's rough. What do you think the problem is, that your tolerance goes up really quickly? Wonder if having it every other day would allow it to be more effective for longer
Your symptoms are very much what I have had through my life too - just not wanting to do things, even after being enthusiastic in the interest phase of an idea, just not wanting to follow through at all - not just forgetting to follow through but actively feeling dredd of following through on a plan. And the same with those thoughts of "i don't want to go, don't want to go", the same thing - a social plan sounds good in the initial idea stage but just never want to do it when it comes up (and often don't). I have my ADHD assessment coming up this month so i hope, at nearly 50 thinga will change and I'll actually do some stuff in my life i want to.. it's only taken 15 years to get around to sorting out the assessment!
Concerta (methylphenidate) increased my anxiety, but Focalin (dexmethylphenidate) works well for me, so please don't give up if the first thing you try isn't the right fit. My stimulant ADHD medication helps me with focus, executive function, and mood regulation - plus it's easier to fall asleep and stay asleep at night because my brain has traction during the day! And I rarely feel anxious anymore! I notice, identify, and address feelings and emotions infinitely better: such as oh, I'm hungry, and going and making toast and eating it within 5 minutes, instead of crying for an hour first. 12:30 As for PMS, the Focalin helps a bit, but my PCOS still had severe PMS wrecking me up to 14 days a month, so now I also take a daily progesterone only pill and just have mild PMS for a couple days (and it's not noticeable most months). I've heard it's also a lifesaver for folks with heavy bleeding or endometriosis.
This video was soo helpful! I’m waiting for my adhd and asd assessment which should be happening next year, and my plan was to just refuse medication and request coaching instead because I don’t see myself as ‘that’ disabled, and also I have health anxiety which includes anxiety around side-effects. Because it’s so normalised to me, I didn’t realise adhd traits like that feeling of tension you mentioned and being unable to do tasks was something NT’s don’t get. This video really put into perspective the positives of being on medication for adhd, and also going forward I’m going to try and address my internalised ableism too.
I have generally been incredibly anti medication. For example, with aspirin or Tylenol, if the pain is low enough for over the counter pain relief, I should be able to just push through. With antidepressants, I am sad because of X, I would be mentally ill if I was not sad. I pursued the diagnosis primarily to get medication. I always thought ADHD was the squirrel chasing dog in the movie UP. and I could deal with that distractibility. (I did, and I think I did OK) But then I found out, through TH-cam videos like this, that procrastination and emotional dysregulation were other effects of ADHD. Those I did not deal well with. Those are why I wanted medication. The procrastination is not gone. The emotional part is MUCH better. So, to all anti med people, I get it, but these meds have helped me. (And to bother me internally even more, I need a high dose of a couple types for them to work for me)
Is it too personal to ask if you’ve had any side effects from the meds? The ease and ability to handle your daily tasks sound so so appealing- I want that for myself! But I’m nervous about taking an Rx, especially because I have children and a family who rely on me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! ♥️♥️ Really spoke to my heart.
My doctor recommends physicals to check on your health and heart. That being said, I’m on stimulants and my heart feels better than it did previously. I was always high strung and stressed, and overusing caffeine to the point my chest would often hurt.
Side effects were a lot more noticeable in the first couple of months. Dry mouth, very bad appetite, headaches, couldn't touch caffeine. Stable now and they help me but I'm vulnerable to energy swings between doses or as they wear off in the evening. They make it easy easier to cope with the kids during the day but I become more sensitive to over stimulation from them as they wear off. They do still screw with my appetite though so I give myself the grace to just eat out drink stuff that I want sometimes to get c the calories as it's harder to eat something I'm more Meh about.
Thank you for this video. I'm a bit scared about how my ADHD testing and possible medication is going to play out this summer, and knowing people's experiences like yours is really helpful. I really hope this is the right answer to all the mental health issues I've been facing, and the more I search, the more i find people describing exactly what I'm going through... I really appreciate this video
Got my diagnosis at age 24 yesterday. Walked out the door with a prescription for methylphenidate and what do you know, your videos show up on my home page! Thank you for documenting your journey❤ I hope to also see the world a bit differently after trying these little pills :)
Thanks for sharing. I really relate to your video. I just started Concerta and it makes me feel like I can do basic things without an intense sense of frustration. I am hopeful that it keeps helping me.
Just diagnosed inattentive dominant at 44. Still need to get an assessment and meds, but its already easier to stop the negative self talk and my anxiety doesnt stay on top of me for so long. I just hope my wait isnt too long and they pick a winning medication for me.
This was a great watch. I haven't had a chance to go on more than brief periods of medication in the past few years and I appreciate getting a look at your experience.
I agree on the starting things actually feeling physically hard / painful. I'm still figuring this one out, medication has improved focus and slowed my brain down a bit - but the motivation is still a real struggle. In saying that, I'm in early days of figuring out titration, so hopefully that'll change as we get the dose right and I begin to implement some strategies for managing ADHD related challenges.
I’m coming to this video straight after watching that first one and this is a mid video comment because I got distracted but these videos have put to words things I’ve never been able to verbalise (the grasping for air one especially) and I’m so thankful to have found someone describe these experiences and I’m now more sure than ever I need to seek a formal diagnosis after years of avoiding it/not really believing when drs and others have voiced concern over me possibly having adhd. I thought everyone’s brain worked like this and I was just uniquely shit at managing it. The physical pain from boredom or like normal life things I genuinely thought everyone experienced until talking with my partner about it and now watching these videos. Thank you for sharing your experience, truly I can’t thank you enough.
Just listening to the part re PMT - makes sense, I only became aware of my likely neurodiversity when starting perimenopause. And it’s brutal. On HRT now but that just brings me back to where I was, which with awareness now I see as not fully functional. Do not have access to ADHD meds. So, I would definitely urge younger women to keep developing as many coping strategies as you can for managing ADHD, because the permanently low oestrogen state of menopause and thereafter (as well as ‘peri’) really can make you feel right back at the bottom of the mountain again. (Plus online seeing the shock and difficulty neurotypical women are experiencing when suddenly experiencing symptoms I realised were my ‘norm’, when that was my baseline I was heading downhill from could be heard to read at times). Of course the tricky bit for clinicians/supporters being that just like neurodiversity, hormonal impacts come in many nuanced forms and impact people differently (or not at all apparently, for some?!). Anyway, good luck all!! “Keep on trucking…”and know it’s not your fault, to help with finding the resolve to push through to ways to manage what comes at you 🙂
Thank you a lot for your videos, and this one just fell a week before my next appointment with my psychiatrist which is especially helpful. I am Autistic and have ADHD, and have been diagnosed in 2020, I am 29 years old. Until approximately two monthes ago, I never did interest myself on the ADHD part of my diagnostic, and never realised how much disabling it was on me, why I struggled so much stuffs, all the things you talked about and knew about. And I fell and took a look at your videos during these last times. Just knowing about it already helped me and made me relieve myself of guilt from not succeeding in doing stuffs. Another french fellow ADHDer just made a video I will watch right after you, looks like you all come at the same time! Thanks a lot for all your testimonies! We already began to talk about the medication with my psychiatrist, and will talk to her if I we can begin the prescription during our appointment next week. I'm very conscious of all the other problem I can have, settled lot of them, and do not worry about what consequences there can be. Thanks to testimonies from you and others, I'm conscious of what can happen, what traits could become more prominent, and what to be cautious about, since I'm very self consious about how I work internally, so all I need now is to begin this so I can finally get myself to move and do things instead of just staying there not knowing what to do or having hard time doing stuff or chores that I actually want to do. Alll the testimonies, and knowing my struggles did comfort me to try it. And to be honest, just being there waiting to have my appointment and not being able to do stuffs is kind of frustrating, but we had to see some stuffs before begining all this, and thing I'm in a good enough state to begin. Thanks a lot for all your testimonies again, I hope the medication will help as much as it did with you, future will tell :)
Wow! Just found your video.. I’ve watched many on a research to find myself.. but your explanation and experience is an eye opener! ❤ thank you so much! I’m going to get my shit together and get diagnosed.. my son has autism with ADHD, my mother is deeply depressed and hoarding to an extreme, and very dirty house .. I started family therapy and found many eye openers.. because it’s genetic.. I started looking into it for myself and now also listening to you I find my mother must have this too.. “not being able to get things done” , “moody teenager, please don’t make me”, “it’s too hard, so I’ll leave it”, many things I “suffer” from but also my mother with years of deep depression escalated to an extreme that I’m really scared of becoming the same.. with a big relationship break up, I got so depressed and could not function for months on end, stopped working and self medicated with drugs and alcohol, and buying lots and lots of stuff to get a high.. cost huge amounts..I felt so depressed and suicidal.. I could not snap out of it.. everything was too overwhelming… I was totally burned out with emotions and life, all my childhood traumas became much clearer and I had many eureka’s.. but I also became manic and so very very anxious! Were I then totally broke down and it was a scary time, became suicidal.. never knew I would feel this deep and so depressed I begged my doctor for antidepressants, but didn’t work, later got Ambilyfy because I thought I was literally going crazy from grief..anti hallucination....which was totally wrong for me.. wrongly prescribed..and got off them.. I knew something was wrong and acted on it.. I realised I this when I wanted to get rid of all my furniture and buy everything new! I stopped myself just in time! …and got most of all my huge purchases and returned them to the shops I eventually “got through” it by getting emergency psychiatric help and psychologists helping me take my meds and making myself feel positive and eventually could get back to work, the need for structure in life is so important! I’m still always feeling anxious even when I’m at a “relaxed” state.. it’s said with women it gets worse with getting older.. so I need to self care now that I’ve found I’m not depressed as many of us girls, women get wrongly diagnosed..! ❤❤❤ As you said “I didn’t believe adhd was/is real” nor do others believe me and the struggle was in fact a struggle and not normal, being aware of it.. I’m 48 now.. listening to you and others even at this age.. getting diagnosed as an adult is mind blowingly possible to at last find some kind of mental peace and relieve the anxiety to an extent and get things done.. that your brain stops going on and on, that you can get clarity.. at last ❤❤❤❤
Thank You, Rachel, for the video! I relate so much it's unvelievable. I'd like to comment in more detail, but I prolly won't come back and do it. :D Either way - it's so heartwarming to know there are people in the world whose inner head experience is so similar. I am not alone! :))))
At the 21 min. mark; That a lovely / beautiful soul as yourself was able to “prime yourself for rejection,” breaks my heart. We live in a world that can be so cruel sometimes. The medication seems to have helped you in the way a cast would with a broken bone (or maybe in this case, a better analogy might be replacing a severed limb….making you more “normal” for the world around you). Too much yammering on from me. But, I’m happy for you, and am glad that the medication has helped. Much love from Nashville, Tennessee.
An interesting thing to look into is The Medical Model of Disability. It uses a "deficit" approach to looking at disabilities. The social model is an asset based approach which I'm trying to adopt when looking at "disability". It was my diagnosis and medication at 36 that made me start university and look deeper into the neurodevelopment of ADHD and ASD people, I find it fascinating. Though as toxic as it might be, I do attribute a portion of my success to the medication...without it I wouldn't have had the confidence to find that I am actually book smart. I just needed something to say "yeah, you had it in you the entire time" T-T
Concerta was great for awhile! I almost graduated my 3rd attempt at college. It started giving me bad headaches, irritability, heart palpitations & my boyfriend, a NP, told me I needed to stop & that it probably took 10 years off of my life. Best wishes!
It comes and goes. Coaching does help but it feels counter productive after a while. But it is necessary. Friends with ADHD are extremely important and helpful… they get it if they are able to be there for you when they are. Regardless of the medication that you need… WE need help with creating systems and strategies that support OURSELVES. Had a lifetime of my diagnosis and I don’t ever fully understand myself due to the lifestyle and changes of my life. Not to mention the nature of the disorder doesn’t help me remember why I started something that was working but taking it away suddenly made me realize I definitely was dependent on a routine, support, and structure.
I'm autistic and don't have ADHD, but I also use stimulants to help get stuff done, specifically coffee. One of my antidepressants also has similar effects to a stimulant. I consider myself to be sensitive to caffeine, as if I have any, it *will* affect my sleep. But sometimes I feel it is necessary to have in order to be able to focus on what needs to be done, even at the cost of good sleep. I feel like I have caffeine and then I have about 30 minutes to point the "focus laser" and whatever I'm focusing on then will be the thing I do. I would personally argue that even if you are "cheating" by using stimulants, you exist in a world where lots of other people "cheat" the same way. Is it cheating if it's meta? That is to say, how many people need to do something for it to become the game rather than an exception to the game? Most people don't worry about having coffee, and I personally think it's okay for you not to worry about having your medication. Though, I have a feeling you still will anyway, that is the nature of brains. :P But also, while you and perhaps I am very aware the changes stimulants can bring, I do believe that we have more difficulty than other people in the "getting stuff done" department. So while you may be "above average" on your medication, I also think it's fine to exist as "above average" on medication than "below average" without it. People deserve to be able to function. And when there's a relatively simple solution to help someone function, I think it would be cruel not to offer it and let the person decide if they'd like it or not, guilt-free.
@@Truerealism747 The doctor who late-diagnosed my autism also screened for ADHD (and depression, and lots of other stuff) and while I'm not aware of the exact list of things she looked for, my impression was that she was very competent and very up-to-date on different presentations of the typical co-occurant diagnoses, so I personally have full belief that her assessment was correct and that I am only autistic. I wouldn't say I have difficulty pointing my focus in a desired direction or a sense that I want to do one thing but my brain is stuck on another thing. But I do still feel like caffeine is a stimulant that enhances my ability to focus and feel energized.
I need your room ❤❤❤. 😮also I’m soo surprised of your journey you seem like a different person . Very excited for you . Working in a pharmacy I see this a lot unfortunately because of the shortages . If you ask for generic, depending on the generic because some of the generics are also on shortage . What may be best for you is to discuss any alternatives with your MD, until you can get that med again.
I'm very thankful that my psychologist was very insightful when I brought up an interest in medication to shift the conversation framing into a different context. I am struggling to find the focus and energy to start tasks I genuinely want to do and will bring me joy and improve my life, which is why I wanted to pursue medication. But shifting that context; reframing it to spicy food, really helps clarify things. In that context, I am struggling with stomach aches and ulcers but I genuinely love and want to continue to eat an extremely spicy diet of carolina reaper peppers and looking for a medication to help with the stomach problems. The problem isn't that my stomach, or in reality my focus, but that I'm not moderating my life and engagement in tasks. I was seeking medication to give myself the energy to remain toxically productive, which inevitably would result in burn out. She wasn't against medication for me, agreeing it would probably achieve the results I wanted, but reframing it helped give me the drive to try and adjust my life to give my mind more breaks, not more work, so that when I am ready to pursue my hobbies I'll have the energy.
I’ve been thinking a lot about seeing a therapist after my little brother was diagnosed with adhd and started taking medication for it. Seeing how well he is doing, makes me want to stop trying to do it on my own. I’m fairly certain that I also have adhd. It would explain a lot of what I’ve noticed in myself that you described so well in the video about your experience without medication. I now feel encouraged to take that leap. I have many other issues such as poor coping skills, so I’m hoping therapy can teach me better ways of dealing with my problems as well. Thank you for sharing!
Last year I found out that I was born with a visual impairment and had to wear glasses. When I put them on, I suddenly saw the world in HD. Now it turns out that I was treated for depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders. One psychiatrist claimed that I had a narcissistic personality and another an emotionally unstable personality. I became addicted to drugs, I changed places between Poland, where I was born, Iceland, Great Britain, the Netherlands, and the USA. I spent 6 years in prison. I'm not mentally ill! I have ADHD, after 41 years I found out what's wrong with me!
I was recently diagnosed an started taking stimulants a few months ago. i'm still figuring out its effects and re-figuring out my own conception of myself. i found recently that it helped reduce a sense of overwhelming dread. where i had been feeling overwhelmed to the point of not getting out of bed, on stimulants i was not full of dread.
Dread. Dread. Overwhelming dread. From when I lift my head, till I fall back into bed. Dread. Dread. Overwhelming dread. I assume it is my life, never ending till I'm ded. I can't imagine what it feels like to not feel that every day, even on weekends, even on holiday, in the middle of the night, when I wake up to pee or just wake in a panic. That and the tinnitus...
How would you go using some natural sources of caffine, ie Green Tea, Acai or even a super strong coffee? I have heard that the super strong coffee used to be the stimulant of choice for treating ADHD especially where pharmaceuticals aren't available... best wishes 🙏
I am also coming up on my 12 months and the same meds. I think I actually went through some of the same experiences with being able to get things done. Its so strange to all the sudden being able to do stuff which seems to be impossible(very very hard) before. I can feel the difference in the morning when I have a challenging day ahead, where it can feel overwhelming, but when the meds kick in, its still a challenge, but I can face the challenge...I can now cope with some challenges I could not before...
This is like my 15th video about ADHD meds. I've never gone to get diagnosed, but I know I've lived with it my whole life. The reason I haven't even gone to therapy is that I'm scared. I'm afraid of being on medication all the time, and I'm scared because I don't have a choice about which meds I could take. In my country, only Concerta is available, and I'm afraid that if it doesn't work, I'll be stuck with it forever. ADHD is interfering with my work and life now more than ever, but I'm still paralyzed by it. So my question is, how do I overcome this fear? I'm aware of the problem, but it's so scary for me to just go and see a psychiatrist.
You don't have to take the meds at all. You are still you :) Once diagnosed, yherepy will teach you how to implement strategies. You won't get rid of it, but you will work around it. And if therepy is too expensive in your country, there are plenty of videos online that can help a little bit :) Use alarms for everything!
I'm 38 years old, can relate to all the symptoms so much but never got my ADHD diagnosis, let alone medication. You will be able to handle without meds, but yes, it's a constant struggle.
I still need to fine-tune my dosage but I think my experience on Concerta XL has been very similar to yours. It is a strange feeling to finally be able to...just DO stuff. I think about doing something and I just get up and do it...wild! Unfortunately, it doesn't last for my full work day so I probably need a topper like you're using for PMS days. The burnout is real however. I generally cannot take my meds for more than 3 days straight or else I get completely exhausted and can't function. I'm probably trying to cram too much into my day while I'm on my "let's do all the things" mode and need to figure out how to slow down or how to take breaks without going down a rabbit-hole. Hopefully I can figure it out this year; I've only been diagnosed for a few months after all.
man i relate to everything u say, its insane. especially that internalized abilism point. i struggle to be proud of what i achieve or do because I feel like im cheating and that if anyone had the meds i had, it would be the same for them ...
( min 6:50) wow i completely resonate with what you said about swimming, i love swimming too, and yes swimming helps me get in a very relaxed state, not tangled thoughts, no anxiety, i’m so calm and relaxed and not in my head, it’s amazing 🤩. where i go now to swim i have the big blue beautiful swimming pool and hot tubs, and i alternate between swimming and relaxing in the hot tub, sigh of joy, ❤
how cute, floating around near a duck 🦆 😊. i like open water swimming better too, now because it’s winter i have to go to the indoor swimming pool, i,m lucky i have one close to me. the not so good part as you said is getting there, especially now in my city there are modernizing the roads , streets, and i can’t go to the entrance of the spa, i have to park at some distance and walk through dug asphalt. when i get there i,m so happy, it’s worth it. I was just thinking to go when your video pop up and i watched it because i like your videos and now i,m getting ready to go. thanks for your cute comment 😊
What you said about serving others and focusing your energy into people pleasing has really spoken to me I have done this in previous relationships running round like a chicken for people who would do the bare minimum for me or maybe i guess what is normal for people in a relationship I don't know it just seemed normal but looking back I would be going above and beyond because I had made that person the most important in my life and I guess the one that was the previous "best" was annoyed at that and did everything they could to end my relationship with that person because i guess they noticed their control of me slipping fucked stuff man
The cheating life thing hit me so hard. My meds changed my life and they improved so many things. Very recently though I had a mental breakdown (probably hormone/PMDD related) and I didn't take them for 4 days and I noticed I was so much happier without them. I'm not sure what to do, I'm scared that if I stop taking them my life will fall apart. I think for the moment I need to trial going stimulant free. There's so much experimentation and trial and error needed to get the right balance.
I have a hard time stopping and not being guilty if I am not busy. I think a lot of it comes from feeling guilty for not being able to complete tasks or staying on task when I grew up.
I was on concerta a year n half been a year off them now .. I found the same I kept doing so much stuff what's good but I found it messed my appetite up so bad n when I had covid I felt I needed nutrition but didn't get any .. I started getting major anxcity from it when they wore off.. iv been off them a yr n am now the heavyist iv ever been n get depressed if I don't have something to focus on but it's okay.. I accept myself more from my medication experiance
No idea how I got here. But it was interesting to hear about how ADHD feels and it helped me understand how my colleague works. Edit: I want to add something interesting I noticed. He and I are both very productive and hard working. But for me it is effort and coming up with the energy to do it and for him it is more like he needs to channel energy that is always there.
I have autism as well as adhd so I just assumed all the adhd symptoms I had were part of my autism, and when I went to autism groups I sometimes felt like such a failure because I lacked the focus that people had, my special interests flip flopped so much whereas most people at the group had one for a very long time so became experts, I've only recently been diagnosed with adhd and I'm realising so many things, I used to be like how tf do people manage to do housework, keep a job, have hobbies, have a social life, sleep and take care of themselves and I can't, what the hell is wrong with me, but now I realise the combination of autism and adhd I feel less like a failure and I have some hope that I may be able to get medication to help because it feels like my autism and adhd fight, it's like omfg pick a struggle please brain lol
I feel similar. Right now i was referred on suspiction that i have asd. I did score high on the preliminary tests. But i do identify with the feeling of lack of motivation, dread and outright chaos that ADHD fellows describe. Lets see whats up in my case. I might very well have both like you and others 😅
i feel that . except for me it was the opposite. my autism got undiagnosed because i thought my symptoms were all just adhd . it is just crazy how diagnosis can make you feel less alone and take away alot of self jugement . i still call myself lazy sometimes and tell myself to stop
I’m the same - but remember that it’s called the autistic spectrum for a reason, everyone is different, so having adhd on top creates even bigger differences
I've had a deep skeptical feeling about the different meds make 18 months on.... I remenber the initial feeling of sludge clearing, but I have to remind myself I'm not going to have the same response given I'm not in my natural state! I often forget to take them after my first and ignore my triggers to actually take them. Partly because of ADHD, and partly because of the disbelief and reluctance to rely on something external.... I don't like taking meds as a rule. So after being totally honest with my psych, I decided to put the deep feelings aside and give it a proper go. Its certainly a journey, and trial and error....
Thank you for sharing - yeah I definitely relate to these different feelings, it's a complex mix! I haven't enjoyed taking them last week, even though they were working amazingly the week before - but I think maybe that helps me see that they serve a specific purpose which does and doesn't help in certain situations. To make it sound even more complicated haha
The part of being off medication and feeling worse because you lost the ability to deal with your natural state is one thing Im really trying to prevent by not taking it every day and only when its really necessary. Thats also partially how I can keep tabs on if meds still work. And my god, it does.
Congratulations! Have you found yourself to be less jittery and agitated on the medication? Has it quieted your mind and even helped your anxiety? Thank you again. Well done!!!!
first 2 hours taking ritalin, Im working in my computer and I have not stand up to go to the kitchen 10 times to snack something lol first good thing, my head feels a bit too light tho, I hope I dont get dizzy.
The very first day on methylphenidate, I found my mind wandering and said to myself "No, this isn't the time for that - I need to concentrate on something else"... and that's just what I did.
And then I phoned my wife and told her all about what had just happened, while crying in a state of half happiness and half frustration that I've missed 40+ years of being able to control what I'm thinking about.
I'm trying to get help right now. Doctor told me to see a counselor. Visited the Counselor who told me that I have been dealing with ADHD and that I should ask for a certain med. I go back and the doctor that sent me there for an answer doesn't believe it. I'm trying to get an official diagnosis so that is no question one way or the other what I'm dealing with so that if it's ADHD, I can get meds and if it's something else I can work on that instead. I just want to know. I feel as though I do know, but my word is not a diagnosis. been going through this back and forth with the Doctor for about 3 months now. I'm 49
@@DuncanCunninghamgo to a new doctor, if a counsellor can’t give you some sort diagnosis certificate or proof, then your doctor is just going to keep doing this. Go to a new doctor or even report this doctor because he is not expressing your concern with you.
@@DuncanCunninghamgo to a psychiatrist! That seems to be the standard. I saw one who was pretty much saying anxiety from the get go and didn’t feel like I really was able to talk. saw another who asked about my whole life and she said yep! ADHD. I’m so at ease now I can’t believe I never really knew what “calm” or “relaxed” was. It’s a blessing!
im in my second week of methylphenidate, and i can really really really relate to this
How is it going for you now? Still effective?
I just started it today. Feeling good so far and hopeful. But a bit nervous about longer term.
I haven't heard many people talk about the pain associated with doing things. It's one of those things that sound silly out loud but are very serious when you're dealing with it.
It's completely normal for all humans to experience this. Rachel is misleading her audience by implying that regular people don't have "pain associated with doing things". Actually, regular people do have this. That's why we practice discipline and productivity. ADHD meds are stimulants, they remove the natural friction you feel when doing stuff. That's because you're high on drugs.
Lol
@@AlexSuperTramp-OF COURSE every person feels and needs to actually motivate themselves, but this is disproportionate harder for us. I for one suffer from both depression and ADHS and I am not even slightly exaggerating when I am telling you that I can not bring myself to eat unless I am forced to because of hunger related stomach ache. Fuck my life I wish I would simply be a lazy piece of shit, at least I could at least do the shit I perceive as fun then or engage with a hobby for more than 2 months before having to fight every single day to keep up the motivation to do what I actually love.
This is an expression of disbelief in ADHD as a real condition. It's not simply about discipline or feeling high. The stimulants make one feel at ease. Not giddy or euphoric.
Please, respectfully keep this vitriolic logic to yourself. It's not helpful.
If what you were saying was true, then people without would not get high on stimulant ADHD medication at therapeutic levels... Which is the premise of your argument entirely.
@@DarthJarJar10 I believe ADHD is real. But people shouldn't get a free pass for getting high on stimulants.Then justifying it with pseudo science. If you have ADHD and take stimulants, you will get high and experience the same general effects as anyone. This idea that it "makes you normal" is not true. It makes you high.
I'm a little over a month in on ritalin now and man... I've missed this my entire life? in about a month I've been able to: get a job, get counselling, get benefits for unemployment, get courses for job searching, get better mental health and many more things I've struggled with for so long and I'm only 22! Thing is I'm not really that mad that I've missed out on this. My struggle has given me a unique view on what life can be and what it is and now that I can function exceedingly well I feel like all that struggling might actually help me haha.
What is your dose?
@@justindankert7725 started on 20mg in the morning. Now I take either 40mg once in the morning or 20mg in the morning and then another 20mg 5-6 hours later depending on how well I have slept and how good my breakfast was. Little sleep and food can have negative effects such as slight anxiety and jittery-ness for me. It still works like a dream and I’m really starting to get my life in order. Also the anxiety is gone which is unbelievably nice.
That’s really great man. I’m 29 and only just now am wondering if I have this. I never really read into ADHD and some of my friends growing up who I knew had it were different than me and kinda fit into a stereotype so I didn’t see commonalities. I thought ADHD was merely an inability to pay attention, but really it was the hyperfocus aspect I only just learned about that got me on the trail of like “oh wait? People with ADHD can get so focused that they spend hours or maybe an entire day on something? Because I do that shit”
@@justindankert7725 20-40mg a day
@@dblackout1107 usually if someone has adhd they just vibe really well with other ADHDers, even if their personalities are very different. Look up some tests online and a list of symptoms and see how high you score on it.
Something that resonated with me about the deficiency point: it sounds like the rewards from being able to do stuff (achieving goals etc) helps increase the self-esteem generally. Which sort of snowballs. So even when not on the medication, my outlook on life is more positive and has a tangible direction. Also reduces stress - I know that, if there are things which need to get done, there will be a period in time when I'll have the motivation to do them. Before the medication that period of time was basically 0 😂 Great vid! The coaching is tempting
Yesss, this makes sense! When I have very 'ADHD' days or get derailed and do nothing, it impacts me less because I have more examples now of times when I have been able to do stuff.
I think part of it is being hopeless and depressed. After a few failures begin to snowball I can get into a feeling of having given up. And the fact is, without the meds, it seems that attempts to kickstart things back up are impossible long term.
That realisation of being able to have a day without tension is HUGE. That waking up tense, filled with thoughts about the day ahead is constant for me, and the idea of that going away, even for one day, would be like heaven. Hearing you talk about it, I can feel the relief through the screen ❤
Also the internalised ableism is wild and probably so easy when we are so hard on ourselves
YES! If my kids are acting up, if they take a bit long to do something, if I’m running a little behind I’m not suddenly PANICKING. I can get over an inconvenience or focus on a task without my mind going into overdrive. My husband used to joke he felt like he needed a vacation after our vacations because I couldn’t relax 😅😭
Do you do a lot of exercise? I literally wouldn’t survive without it. Cardio especially I find is the best for ADHD and I wake up noticeably calmer the days after I exercise- which is pretty much every day because I feel so crap otherwise 😅. If you haven’t already then try and find a sport you really enjoy because then exercise doesn’t feel like a chore and instead something to look forward to.
I found this video so hard to watch. I'm 58 and just starting the diagnosis journey. Your description of being able to do normal things literally made me cry. My whole life I felt like I was abnormal or just lazy.
Thank you so much for this video!
Me too David. Let’s hope we find some relief.
The grief at "lost time" is real and quite upsetting. But hopefully the positives of finally understanding why life was so hard, and that it doesn't have to be going forward, will make that bearable. I started this at 35 and am still trying to come to terms with the fact my 4th grade teachers suggested my parents get me tested... I learned a lot of coping mechanisms, and i don't have too many regrets, but life was harder than it needed to be.
I am 57 and about to go on medication. Excited and apprehensive
@@TheCrazycheetahI’d love for you to let me know how you do after starting the medication, I’ve known for years that I had adhd or add or bipolar, I’m 71 have decided I’ve got to stop wasting my life away, my doctor wants to put me on Ritalin this week I thought he was crazy but now I’m willing to try anything which med are you taking I need all the suggestions since I do not trust these doctors, hope whatever medication you take helps you
I few years ago I started concerta as well, and I remember the first day I took it I found myself engrossed and engaged scrolling Instagram. It was different than usual, and I wasn’t getting so bored. I also noticed that when my mom spoke to me, I was retaining everything she was telling me and actively bouncing off and recalling so much information that I didn’t even know I had in my head. It was like a veil had been lifted off, un-dusted library of pieces of myself I didn’t know I had. I ended up talking with my mom for 4 hours, something that I’d never been able to do in my life.
My grades at school also shot up almost immediately because it wasn’t such a drag to get started, and during the work I wasnt constantly being pulled away by distractions or that moody feeling described in the video.
Unfortunately, I started having pretty bad side affects around a year later, heart palpations along with chronic headaches. So I made the decision to stop medication.
Ever since then, I’ve never been able to feel as sharp as I had been, but I also don’t want to be dependent on medication to feel normal. In a sense, I think I value not being tied down to it or relying on it, more than the benefits that it proved to give me.
I think a healthier approach for my case is probably to be more gentle with myself and understand where I’m going to struggle. ADHD can make some stuff impossible, but not everything. More hands on mentally AND physically stimulating things I’ve found to be very engaging and I tend to do well in. Whether that’s working with your hands, or playing video games with many inputs so your hands remain busy.
This hybrid style of engagement seems to be the perfect sweet spot. Monotonous repetitive labor seems to be too mentally bland. While pure theory seems to get too abstract when not related to something physically. Pure mind is difficult to remain engaged with, pure body is the same.
Hybrid seems to be work best.
Have you ever considered going with a different brand of medication?
The same thing happened to me. Concerta was great for reducing my ADHD symptoms, but I also got pretty bad side effects. I'm now on another type of medication (vyvance), and it's not as effective as concerta was
Random mid-video comment: You mentioned swimming and I just had a lightbulb moment: I used to go swimming after work at least once a week for a while at the beginning of the year but because uni and work got so busy I completely forgot about that. I don't think I've been swimming after work even once since starting my meds in summer. I definitely need to try that again! I am now pausing the video to pack my swimming bag to throw in my car tomorrow before work. I may not go swimming tomorrow, but the reduced barrier of having the bag ready (paired with the fact that there is a pool right at my workplace) is the only thing that got me to go before and I really should start that habit again. I hope I remember to finish watching the video after packing my bag.
Did you get to finish the video?
(Tone: trying to be helpful.)
@@that-weirdogirl yeah I actually remembered to do that. 😁
My first day on methylphenidate I cried. I was diagnosed in my 50s. It was the first time in my life focus on something that wasn't interesting or urgent was not a struggle. I feel like I went through life running through thigh high mud while the others ran on grass saying "it's easy, just focus!, try harder!". It's life changing
I wrote 1/3rd of 2 books when ConcertaXL was new for me. Then after about 3 months I was back to mostly just beating myself up for getting 'distracted' in the hole of a video game or whatever, but it was b/c I didn't want to do long term projects. Concerta in the medium-term basically made me MORE ADHD in a way b/c it made me want to focus on many short term accomplishments. I did become a bit better at work, but then found myself running out of work (Which is normal at this job) and getting SO FREAKING ANTSY! Videogames couldn't sate my antsyness anymore and I would just wander around the house trying to come up with little things to do. Cleaning or whatever. Then my chronic pain would flair up (foot muscle issue) and inflamed that and I had to sit again and now I was extra wired up b/c I couldn't move around but I was SO FREAKING JACKED UP and wanting to MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!!
To be clear, I have NEVER EVER had hyperactive ADHD. Just inattentive. I started to wonder if these meds were actually helping and the final straw was when I went driving to the coast down the street w/ my wife and we saw some seals. It was great, something that in the past I'd enjoy greatly with her and be like WOW COOL. Instead, I was like "ugh, great. Who cares. Little dots on the horizon, big whoop, come on lets keep walking gotta MOVE MOVE MOVE!!! and I realized I didn't want to be this person. I wanted my old self back where I was less effective as a productive capitalist worker but actually able to meander around and enjoy my life at the slower speed I prefer anyway. Not being able to appreciate a wonderful, rare moment in nature completely killed my desire to be a medicated person.
Concerta also made me irritable to a degree that scared me. With the MOVE MOVE MOVE crack-cocaine effect I think it made me want to use all my muscles. Like my hitting muscles. I had stronger urges towards physical violence than ever before in my entire life, even my adolescence. I would just sit there in my chair when someone did something that annoyed at (my remote career) work and want to SCREAM and slam the wall. Normally I'd just go "Ok weirdo" and go back to whatever it was I wanted to do. Concerta kinda robbed me of the desire to WANT to do things and more like I was suddenly COMPELLED to try to do AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE.
I stopped working on my novels b/c progress was way too slow. I was getting tense and frustrated and digging my nails into my palms b/c everything was too slow.
The whole experience with concerta left me somewhat questioning if I even really have ADHD! (I never associated with the Hyperactivity bit anyway. I'm infamously sloth-like, everyone who knows me long enough comments on it!) I have my leftover meds and I occasionally take one for a day or two or three but EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! I regret it. I am always left wondering "MAN! Why am I SO AGRO lately?" Then I remember. The little boost on projects is quite great, but I just have had to come to terms with the fact that I am NOT, personality-wise, a 'high achiever' in a monetary, capitalist, mercantile form. And I am too worried about becoming an irate, abusive (verbally, physically) man like my dad always struggled with too. The interesting thing is that I've started to consider I'm more AuDHD (Autism + ADHD... or maybe Asperger's + ADD to use the obliterated terms) than anything. And reading about how autistic bodies tend to be 'fine tuned' and meds can go way strong or do almost nothing seemed to line up with my aberrant Concerta experience.
Luckily, I moved departments at work and no longer work with a psycho slave driver boss and instead have a cool, very relatable chill boss and I don't need meds at ALL to succeed now. Goes to show that pills don't solve problems. And I don't have to have these long, awkward silences around my wife anymore when I bring super-agro energy to a question or problem she tells me and scare her anymore! I hate ADHD-medicated me. (But I've been eating edibles and doing art in the evenings and that's been WAY better for my overall life!)
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment. I have an Audhd kid who is really struggeling and we're thinking about meds. You're experience with meds is something I will have to watch out for.
I'm aspie without adhd and have the same positive experience with taking edibles in the evening. It's just not something I can give to my kid bc of the negative effects of the developing brain.
Thanks again, your comment is really helpful
Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability. I was diagnosed last year at age 53 and when you said, "...medication has given me a massive sense of relief to cope with the day-to-day and without it...I don't know where I would have landed this year... people with ADHD are getting diagnosed as adults because the more years pass by the harder it is to just sustain life when you feel like that...," it really resonated with me. I am glad you have the help you need earlier in your life.
“Don’t want to be doing anything” is such an apt description for how I’ve felt!
I started methylphenidate 3 and a half weeks ago increasing slowly every week. Same life changing experience, glad I watched this and I'm now aware of the possible burn out so I can try to avoid it. Definitely aware that now I feel capable I have to teach myself new skills in managing myself. I've never had the luxury of feeling able before, like anything was possible 💕
I started methylphenidate today. Feeling hopeful and nervous. Thank you for making this video. Its given me a bit more reassurance giving this a go. I am really hoping it will help me function better
How's your experience so far?
@@qwjd8s693pt4kaun it was okay. My doctor has me trialing dexamphetamine at the moment before I settle on one. So far I think dex is better for me. Quieter mind but don't feel as edgy or weird
How has it been going ?
I cried. I need to go and be diagnosed properly. Because how you describe the negativity is so real. Thank you. This is my first video of yours. Thank you
Thanks for being here 💛
I was undiagnosed till I was in my mid 40's and went on Vyvanse and I understand completely how you feel. I didnt know life could be easier. It lifts my anxiety and imposter syndrome and allows me to function like a normal human.
How long have you been on it? I'm 47 and scared I won't be able to cope with the withdrawal
Big this. It makes you more confident in yourself and its easier to actually have conversations with people because you arent anxious that you will say something stupid. Ive been off a year and my life has been rough, but hoping to get back on meds soon.
@@Humbledone. the withdrawal is hard. For someone like me I would not always take it on the weekend. Without taking it, I couldnt really do anything but sleep.
And then there is the thought you know you arent operating right, and you may feel a little more hopeless.
One of the best videos on experience with ADHD medication 👌
Thanks so much!
The way you speak about ADHD is not only relatable to me and refreshing in its vulnerability, you often offer me new ways to regard myself and my ADHD diagnosis. Thank you for everything you do. I am quite glad I found your work.
Thank you, very kind of you to say!
You're one of the first people that I've ever heard describe their ADHD in the same way I experience it. Non-stop tension, like constantly trying to stick your hand in a pot of scalding water, even for things you like, the constant stand-by mode, all of it. I was like you as well, I didn't believe the diagnosis until the meds worked and that was life changing. Sady Vyvanse was working for me but ended up triggering strange neurological symptoms so I've had to pause it, and that's been really hard, struggling with the ADHD symptoms but also struggling with feeling like a junkie (I know that's harsh language but you gotta feel the feelings and process them). But yeah, the day when I had to walk away from the meds was hard in a way I never expected. That being said I'm working with my GP to see if Concerta can work, and honestly it's skills and pills and 1 month of Vyvanse has given me access to skills and understanding that I will carry forever, regardless of whether or not I can keep taking stims.
Thanks for sharing!!! Your content has been the most helpful ADHD content I've come across 🩵
Thanks so much for saying that! And for sharing your experiences too. It's so helpful to read how things have and haven't worked for you, and how you're dealing with those feelings 💛
I've just started my Concerta a couple months ago, I explained it to my therapist that it was like I was treading water my whole life and now I've finally gotten out of the pool. Also thank you for mentioning the PMS thing, I noticed that with me too, I haven't had a chance to talk to my doctor about it yet but it's good to know I'm not alone in it.
I watched your 30 days video first, then was recommend this one. WHAT a difference a year makes! It seems like you've grown 2 decades worth of self awareness. ❤ Makes me excited for the possibilities after my psych eval in a few days.
Thanks for helping everybody feel less alone.
That it me very hard when you said that life is harder to sustain the further you go in life living without stimulants. I was diagnosed at a young age, but stoped treatment not long after and lived my life untreated. Being an adulte with responsabilities and kids makes it really hard to go through a day because it requires me to spend so much mental energy for what I concider "basic" tasks and actions.
I’ve recently had my 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with ADHD and I was 31 at the time. I’m not currently on any meds because I’m trying for a baby. But this video is so helpful to have, if I one day decide to go on medication. Just want to say, I related to so much you said and it makes me feel seen. A big thank you ☺️
You're welcome, thanks for watching and commenting!
I wish I would’ve been diagnosed before having my kiddos! I had countless days my husband would have to get off work because I’d be so overwhelmed I’d have panic attacks, or couldn’t handle my kids! They’re still little though so thankfully I can now be patient and parent with reasoning, not emotions in overdrive.
Your videos have really helped. Diagnosed at 48 privately after waiting over 4 years on the NHS. Have always had a chequered work history, got stressed and left jobs, got fired etc. Have struggled with anxiety, OCD, depression. In the last 2-3 years my (inattentive mainly) ADHD got a lot worse due to the perimenopause - alot of people don't realise this can make ADHD a lot worse I said I can tell you now I don't have ADHD, but did the intitial screening and answered yes to most of the questions - I didn't know about Inattentive ADHD. The stereotype of the small boy runing around made me think they were barking up the wrong tree.
Things are still challenging, but I think meds are helping to some extent. My diagnosis explains much, and by the time I finally got it I was pretty certain I had ADHD. Can't beleive how hard it was trying to get a NHS diagnosis. Thank you for being so vulnerable on here and so very eloquent in your descriptions of ADHD and how you feel.
Do you have a website for coaching or somewhere I can get more information on your fees etc. Thanks
Your reflection was helpful to hear. Thank you for sharing it.
70 year old…official diagnosis age 68. Adderall one year…big help but is not the total answer. I am also going to need increase in dosage and you are right about different strategies for on meds versus off. Face reality as well a neurodivergent person on meds is not neurotypical! Yes, validation is so important ! This is why TH-camrs like yourself are so helpful. You articulate my feelings. I am less alone.
Sure my father has ADHD I do and àspergers and fybromyalgia do you have pain symptoms and does it help if fo
Finally got diagnosed at 34 and started Concerta about a month ago. Your "one month in" video really resonated with me and it sounds like we have similar "flavors" of ADHD. Noticing the massive improvement from these meds has been a lot to process. My primary caregiver thought ADHD was "fake" and did not listen to my school teachers when they said to get me evaluated. I didn't have ADHD, I just wasn't disciplined enough! After years of being told I was lazy, undisciplined, spoiled, I really started to internalize those messages. Took me decades to realize I needed to seek diagnosis and treatment. With the meds, so many things are so much better. There is certainly no going back for me.
OK, so, I'm very in that ADHD PMSing zone of the feels right now, and I've already been crying all day. But this video, your story, and your journey have brought me hope for my own journey. ❤ and so many more tears 😭 I was only diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago at 44, and I've been really debating taking meds for it. The idea of something NOT being hard is just so foreign to me! I can't imagine actually being able to do something I want to do without having to DRAG myself along to get it done! 🤯 Your video has given me so much HOPE for my future. It really IS going to be OK. ❤
Can relate to this a lot, it's probably been around a year on my medication as well, the shame and embarrassment hits differently on medication, because it feels like the road block that was there is gone...therefore no excuses therefore if im not being productive feels like i'm being genuinely lazy...also looking back on how I was pre meds, and then the time when im not on meds now, i still feel like I have the brain of a toddler. Around the right people I can laugh about it more now because I know its not "permanent"' but the difference between me on and off the meds can give others whiplash if they don't know.
Got to be patient with yourself, an like give yourself permission to slow down when needed to avoid burnout, find out how neurotypical people rest, even they need rest. As for the heavy feeling on deficiency when not on meds, not feeling trust for yourself that's definitely a good point, there were some days where I wrote on my daily planner that it was a bad brain day...so I didn't get everything done even when on meds, I treat the meds as not the only net to catch me, while on them I'm also forming routines, and good habits that I know once ingrained will persist at least in my mind when I'm not on meds to cut through the chaos and something I can rely on.
We've been "catching ourselves" all of our lives, and since meds I actually notice how good I got at it, and can now actively see how I did that, all the strategies I put in place before medications to catch myself when my brain got distracted, we have almost got faster reflexes an our internal voices are louder because they've had to be for so long to survive, I think it's something we can kind of be proud of ourselves for. Those instincts and reflexes I've found haven't gone away, and they can help you remember to trust yourself when not on meds, because you did survive all that time, with meds its now more working on thriving than just surviving, being able to catch up on the things that you wished so badly to do but couldn't before. Still moving forwards, just able to run now instead of walk, not being on meds just means you're back to walking, after be able to run, its going to feel slower, maybe like you're not moving at all in comparison but you are moving forwards, sometimes walking when your muscles are tired is exactly what you need to do.
There's I quote that I have that I look at very often "if you get tired, learn to rest, not quit" supposedly its from the artist Banksy. It helps me a lot. We're all in this together, so don't give up just continue to move forwards, one step at a time. Another helpful quote "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", or "keep on keeping on" as my family puts it "just one foot in front of the other :)
I LOVE this. Thanks for sharing!! Love what you said about catching ourselves and how good we've got at it - you're right, definitely something to be proud of.
Thanks for this ❤️
Personally, as someone who loves to go see friends, I am realising it’s that burn out of dealing with the overload of so much going on (that I love) in a busy London pub talking to mates. I am realising that it’s not about that evening, it’s about how much i have left in the tank and how much I have been on top of my game 🙂
it‘s so wild to me now that i know i have adhd that other people feel this too. it‘s like you‘re taking my problems i‘ve experienced my entire life and are putting them into words… holy crèpe
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm trying to understand more so I can help my teenage son. We are about to get a consult for meds and I want to be informed whether most people have positive experiences as they look back. Thank you for being open to us all.
I only found your channel this evening and have binge-watched for the last couple or so hours, randomly back and forth in your time journal.
My god how you’ve grown and changed by the time you made this. You are so much more coherent, together, rational, everything about you has grown.
Sharing your journey so openly, ‘warts and all’, has been so informative and inspiring, and gives such insight into the challenges, positives and pitfalls along the way that we may expect while embarking on a similar journey.
While at the ‘beginning’ of my ADHD discovery, at the age of 60 I’ve had a lifetime of dealing with this stuff without knowing what it is or that other people experience it too and understand what is going on in my head. So for me, while I may at some point regret not finding out sooner, I can only see net positives overall if I can experience some of the improvements that you’ve shared and are evident in your presentation, but with your help I may anticipate some of the challenges I may face.
I have far fewer years left to make the most of and I finally have some hope that a better life is there if I keep pushing for it.
Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly and may you continue to grow and help others.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's great to hear about your journey and the positivity and promise you are seeing! I also really appreciate your perspective on how I've grown, from watching my videos. Because I'm living it, I kinda forget about the videos I did a year ago and I forget to pause and be like, oh wow yeah, look how things have changed! Thanks for being here!
I'm over 40 and am about to take Concerta for the first time tomorrow. I'm nervous for a number of reasons, but, right now it's potential side effects and just the reality of the positive being possible. I've lived my whole life with certain troubles (not sure where a learning disability ends and adhd begins), and I've cried so much just thinking about the possibility that I might be able to do...anything. Decades of things have piled up. Working a normal job seems almost impossible. I've had a bit of a mid-life crisis, probably triggered somewhat by my dad's impending death and passing. I thought a lot about where I am now, what life is. I want to feel like I've lived properly, and to be a person dad would be even more proud of. Here I go. Wish me luck.
Good luck ❤ I wish all the best outcomes for you!
How its going on??
Omg this is me at 47. My dad passed in Nov. I'm so sorry. I was diagnosed today. How are you feeling ? X
Good luck. Please tell us how is going? My 10 year old son started today and I have so many mixed emotions and worries. He has been struggling with adhd for so long so I do pray to god the medication will help him fast.
Im starting on wednesday. How was it for you?
girl, i just LIKE you, ya know? you are just so likable! (also, thank you for everything you do on this channel. i am learning loads.)
hehehehe thanks
What you shared about the thoughts/feelings that come after starting medication, as well as on the days you didn’t take it after a while, are spot on my experience also. There is a weird thing that happens when you’re on the meds, they’re working, then you don’t take them one day and experience your “default” setting. It’s often depressing.
I'm getting my assessment early next year and I'm kinda praying that I'm one of the people that meds work for, because the people that none of the meds work for make me all nervous about that. No clue when I'll start trying meds since my study and exam phases are really weird next year and there aren't a lot of full months where I can just try out something that might give me headaches or make me jittery. Wish me luck (both with the person that assesses me and meds once I do have the diagnosis)
Sending you all the lovely luck vibes!!
The odds are very much in your favor. About 90% of people find meds help and a large majority of those don't have significant side effects (remember, comments sections for a video like this will have an over representation of people who have had poor results with meds, as those whose meds are working great are less likely to be watching ADHD videos). When titrating initially, I doubled up one day to see what would happen re efficacy versus side effects and found that I just felt jittery for a couple of hours, but no more productive. Anecdotally, usually people report knowing from the first pill if that medication/dosage helps them. Taking a stimulant medication for a month, to see what happens is a very conservative approach. Some family doctors are extremely (irrationally?) cautious and titrate at much slower rates than current research would suggest is necessary, given the low abuse potential for modern stimulants such as Vyvanse. Talking with friends here in Canada who have recently started meds reveals that doctors range from a week to a month at a dose before assessing effectiveness versus side effects (if any). Good luck!
Thanks for taking the time to make these videos! You inspired me to go get diagnosed for my ADHD today.. At the ripe old age of 36.😊 I start on 10m adderall XR tomorrow for 14 days to see how I react. I’m a little worried about the possibility of abuse and becoming dependent on it for obvious reasons, but if that’s what I need to start forming a structure to my life then I believe it’ll be worth the risk. Thank you again for sharing your experience and I wish you the best in your future endeavors!! ❤🎉
I came across the original video where you shared your experiences with stimulant medication. I'm 29, and have an extreme strong suspicion I have inattentive ADHD. I haven't got a diagnosis yet due to extreme long waiting lists and high price of diagnosis for adults where I'm from. With my master thesis deadline being a week away and me still not making enough progress, I needed a drastic soluiton. I went to my GP and got a prescription for Ritalin. This is quite extreme for me as i wanted to get help after a diagnosis to learn the skills to cope without medication. But the thesis being so stressful and me struggling with executive dysfunction, I decided to do it after all. I've taken three tablets of 10 mg today. The first time in my life and to say that I feel different, is an understatement! Your videos have helped me process and name some of those feelings. Thank you!
Thanks so much for watching and I'm glad you were able to get the support you needed to help with the thesis! 💛
It’s been my first two days on concerta instant and it this medication is incredible, it was just impossible for me to work before, havin to sit at my desk and focus on work would feel like I was crushed by 200 tones. It felt like in insurmountable thing, like you, this didn’t stop for work, but for any type of thing I need to do, I constantly left everything I needed to do for later, this got me in a lot of trouble in my life. Whenever I took concerta it felt almost like it was fun to work, and I am a fucking machine , I get super motivated while at my desk, I think something building up on this is the prospect of knowing that now I have a medication when I just feel I can’t do anything, and this makes it work even better I think. I hope tu is will continue and I’ll be able to actually have a life
Yessss, there's definitely a comfort in knowing that you have the option to use your medication. Like it shows you what's possible, which sometimes has a knock on effect on doing more even when not medicated
My history with stimulants:
6-13 methylphenidate IR (Ritalin) mostly 10 mg 2x/d: probably overdosed; emotionally flattened complicated by abuse and psycho-emotional issues. Possible hypo manic withdraw symptoms at the end of it.
25-26: Concerta mostly 54 mg/d: worked at 36 mg for 2 weeks then stopped working at all worked for 2 weeks at 54 but made me jittery then stopped working at all and still made me jittery.
27-28 Dexamphetamine XR: basically the same as Concerta but an even worse ratio of jittery all the time over working only at the beginning.
36-37 Focalin XR: basically the same as Concerta but a slightly better ratio of jittery all the time over working only at the beginning.
~40 Focalin XR: basically the same as first time.
Damn that's rough. What do you think the problem is, that your tolerance goes up really quickly? Wonder if having it every other day would allow it to be more effective for longer
Sober it is
Ask your doc for combination of stimulant and non stimulant
Your symptoms are very much what I have had through my life too - just not wanting to do things, even after being enthusiastic in the interest phase of an idea, just not wanting to follow through at all - not just forgetting to follow through but actively feeling dredd of following through on a plan.
And the same with those thoughts of "i don't want to go, don't want to go", the same thing - a social plan sounds good in the initial idea stage but just never want to do it when it comes up (and often don't).
I have my ADHD assessment coming up this month so i hope, at nearly 50 thinga will change and I'll actually do some stuff in my life i want to.. it's only taken 15 years to get around to sorting out the assessment!
Concerta (methylphenidate) increased my anxiety, but Focalin (dexmethylphenidate) works well for me, so please don't give up if the first thing you try isn't the right fit. My stimulant ADHD medication helps me with focus, executive function, and mood regulation - plus it's easier to fall asleep and stay asleep at night because my brain has traction during the day! And I rarely feel anxious anymore! I notice, identify, and address feelings and emotions infinitely better: such as oh, I'm hungry, and going and making toast and eating it within 5 minutes, instead of crying for an hour first.
12:30 As for PMS, the Focalin helps a bit, but my PCOS still had severe PMS wrecking me up to 14 days a month, so now I also take a daily progesterone only pill and just have mild PMS for a couple days (and it's not noticeable most months). I've heard it's also a lifesaver for folks with heavy bleeding or endometriosis.
This video was soo helpful! I’m waiting for my adhd and asd assessment which should be happening next year, and my plan was to just refuse medication and request coaching instead because I don’t see myself as ‘that’ disabled, and also I have health anxiety which includes anxiety around side-effects. Because it’s so normalised to me, I didn’t realise adhd traits like that feeling of tension you mentioned and being unable to do tasks was something NT’s don’t get. This video really put into perspective the positives of being on medication for adhd, and also going forward I’m going to try and address my internalised ableism too.
I have generally been incredibly anti medication. For example, with aspirin or Tylenol, if the pain is low enough for over the counter pain relief, I should be able to just push through. With antidepressants, I am sad because of X, I would be mentally ill if I was not sad.
I pursued the diagnosis primarily to get medication. I always thought ADHD was the squirrel chasing dog in the movie UP. and I could deal with that distractibility. (I did, and I think I did OK) But then I found out, through TH-cam videos like this, that procrastination and emotional dysregulation were other effects of ADHD. Those I did not deal well with. Those are why I wanted medication. The procrastination is not gone. The emotional part is MUCH better.
So, to all anti med people, I get it, but these meds have helped me. (And to bother me internally even more, I need a high dose of a couple types for them to work for me)
Is it too personal to ask if you’ve had any side effects from the meds? The ease and ability to handle your daily tasks sound so so appealing- I want that for myself! But I’m nervous about taking an Rx, especially because I have children and a family who rely on me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! ♥️♥️ Really spoke to my heart.
My doctor recommends physicals to check on your health and heart. That being said, I’m on stimulants and my heart feels better than it did previously. I was always high strung and stressed, and overusing caffeine to the point my chest would often hurt.
Side effects were a lot more noticeable in the first couple of months. Dry mouth, very bad appetite, headaches, couldn't touch caffeine.
Stable now and they help me but I'm vulnerable to energy swings between doses or as they wear off in the evening. They make it easy easier to cope with the kids during the day but I become more sensitive to over stimulation from them as they wear off.
They do still screw with my appetite though so I give myself the grace to just eat out drink stuff that I want sometimes to get c the calories as it's harder to eat something I'm more Meh about.
You're an excellent communicator! I would like some day to speak and think this clearly.
Thank you! I went to Toastmasters Speaking Group for a few years, and that really helped. They have them all over the world if you're interested :)
Thank you for this video. I'm a bit scared about how my ADHD testing and possible medication is going to play out this summer, and knowing people's experiences like yours is really helpful. I really hope this is the right answer to all the mental health issues I've been facing, and the more I search, the more i find people describing exactly what I'm going through... I really appreciate this video
Got my diagnosis at age 24 yesterday. Walked out the door with a prescription for methylphenidate and what do you know, your videos show up on my home page!
Thank you for documenting your journey❤ I hope to also see the world a bit differently after trying these little pills :)
Thanks for sharing. I really relate to your video. I just started Concerta and it makes me feel like I can do basic things without an intense sense of frustration. I am hopeful that it keeps helping me.
Thank you for shaing this with us. I can feel what you have when through a fellow ADHD er.
Just diagnosed inattentive dominant at 44. Still need to get an assessment and meds, but its already easier to stop the negative self talk and my anxiety doesnt stay on top of me for so long. I just hope my wait isnt too long and they pick a winning medication for me.
This was a great watch. I haven't had a chance to go on more than brief periods of medication in the past few years and I appreciate getting a look at your experience.
I don’t have to even watch this to know it’s done wonders your video quality now is multiple times better
thank you so so much for posting this. I'm at the beginning of my ADHD medication journey, and it's really helpful to hear your experience
I agree on the starting things actually feeling physically hard / painful. I'm still figuring this one out, medication has improved focus and slowed my brain down a bit - but the motivation is still a real struggle.
In saying that, I'm in early days of figuring out titration, so hopefully that'll change as we get the dose right and I begin to implement some strategies for managing ADHD related challenges.
I’m coming to this video straight after watching that first one and this is a mid video comment because I got distracted but these videos have put to words things I’ve never been able to verbalise (the grasping for air one especially) and I’m so thankful to have found someone describe these experiences and I’m now more sure than ever I need to seek a formal diagnosis after years of avoiding it/not really believing when drs and others have voiced concern over me possibly having adhd. I thought everyone’s brain worked like this and I was just uniquely shit at managing it. The physical pain from boredom or like normal life things I genuinely thought everyone experienced until talking with my partner about it and now watching these videos. Thank you for sharing your experience, truly I can’t thank you enough.
Just listening to the part re PMT - makes sense, I only became aware of my likely neurodiversity when starting perimenopause. And it’s brutal. On HRT now but that just brings me back to where I was, which with awareness now I see as not fully functional. Do not have access to ADHD meds. So, I would definitely urge younger women to keep developing as many coping strategies as you can for managing ADHD, because the permanently low oestrogen state of menopause and thereafter (as well as ‘peri’) really can make you feel right back at the bottom of the mountain again. (Plus online seeing the shock and difficulty neurotypical women are experiencing when suddenly experiencing symptoms I realised were my ‘norm’, when that was my baseline I was heading downhill from could be heard to read at times). Of course the tricky bit for clinicians/supporters being that just like neurodiversity, hormonal impacts come in many nuanced forms and impact people differently (or not at all apparently, for some?!). Anyway, good luck all!! “Keep on trucking…”and know it’s not your fault, to help with finding the resolve to push through to ways to manage what comes at you 🙂
Thank you! I'm a bit late in life being diagnosed (46) and this helps in understanding this process.
Thank you a lot for your videos, and this one just fell a week before my next appointment with my psychiatrist which is especially helpful. I am Autistic and have ADHD, and have been diagnosed in 2020, I am 29 years old. Until approximately two monthes ago, I never did interest myself on the ADHD part of my diagnostic, and never realised how much disabling it was on me, why I struggled so much stuffs, all the things you talked about and knew about. And I fell and took a look at your videos during these last times.
Just knowing about it already helped me and made me relieve myself of guilt from not succeeding in doing stuffs. Another french fellow ADHDer just made a video I will watch right after you, looks like you all come at the same time!
Thanks a lot for all your testimonies! We already began to talk about the medication with my psychiatrist, and will talk to her if I we can begin the prescription during our appointment next week. I'm very conscious of all the other problem I can have, settled lot of them, and do not worry about what consequences there can be. Thanks to testimonies from you and others, I'm conscious of what can happen, what traits could become more prominent, and what to be cautious about, since I'm very self consious about how I work internally, so all I need now is to begin this so I can finally get myself to move and do things instead of just staying there not knowing what to do or having hard time doing stuff or chores that I actually want to do. Alll the testimonies, and knowing my struggles did comfort me to try it. And to be honest, just being there waiting to have my appointment and not being able to do stuffs is kind of frustrating, but we had to see some stuffs before begining all this, and thing I'm in a good enough state to begin.
Thanks a lot for all your testimonies again, I hope the medication will help as much as it did with you, future will tell :)
Thanks for watching and taking the time to share your experiences 💛
@@rachdoesyoutube No problem at all! Thanks a lot to you for sharing yours! It helped out a lot! :D
I’m crying because this is how I feel
Wow! Just found your video.. I’ve watched many on a research to find myself.. but your explanation and experience is an eye opener! ❤ thank you so much! I’m going to get my shit together and get diagnosed.. my son has autism with ADHD, my mother is deeply depressed and hoarding to an extreme, and very dirty house .. I started family therapy and found many eye openers.. because it’s genetic.. I started looking into it for myself and now also listening to you I find my mother must have this too.. “not being able to get things done” , “moody teenager, please don’t make me”, “it’s too hard, so I’ll leave it”, many things I “suffer” from but also my mother with years of deep depression escalated to an extreme that I’m really scared of becoming the same.. with a big relationship break up, I got so depressed and could not function for months on end, stopped working and self medicated with drugs and alcohol, and buying lots and lots of stuff to get a high.. cost huge amounts..I felt so depressed and suicidal.. I could not snap out of it.. everything was too overwhelming… I was totally burned out with emotions and life, all my childhood traumas became much clearer and I had many eureka’s.. but I also became manic and so very very anxious! Were I then totally broke down and it was a scary time, became suicidal.. never knew I would feel this deep and so depressed I begged my doctor for antidepressants, but didn’t work, later got Ambilyfy because I thought I was literally going crazy from grief..anti hallucination....which was totally wrong for me.. wrongly prescribed..and got off them.. I knew something was wrong and acted on it.. I realised I this when I wanted to get rid of all my furniture and buy everything new! I stopped myself just in time! …and got most of all my huge purchases and returned them to the shops
I eventually “got through” it by getting emergency psychiatric help and psychologists helping me take my meds and making myself feel positive and eventually could get back to work, the need for structure in life is so important!
I’m still always feeling anxious even when I’m at a “relaxed” state.. it’s said with women it gets worse with getting older.. so I need to self care now that I’ve found I’m not depressed as many of us girls, women get wrongly diagnosed..! ❤❤❤
As you said “I didn’t believe adhd was/is real” nor do others believe me and the struggle was in fact a struggle and not normal, being aware of it..
I’m 48 now.. listening to you and others even at this age.. getting diagnosed as an adult is mind blowingly possible to at last find some kind of mental peace and relieve the anxiety to an extent and get things done.. that your brain stops going on and on, that you can get clarity.. at last ❤❤❤❤
Thank You, Rachel, for the video! I relate so much it's unvelievable. I'd like to comment in more detail, but I prolly won't come back and do it. :D Either way - it's so heartwarming to know there are people in the world whose inner head experience is so similar. I am not alone! :))))
Thanks for being here! Yesss you are not alone!!
At the 21 min. mark; That a lovely / beautiful soul as yourself was able to “prime yourself for rejection,” breaks my heart. We live in a world that can be so cruel sometimes. The medication seems to have helped you in the way a cast would with a broken bone (or maybe in this case, a better analogy might be replacing a severed limb….making you more “normal” for the world around you).
Too much yammering on from me. But, I’m happy for you, and am glad that the medication has helped. Much love from Nashville, Tennessee.
Thank you 💛
An interesting thing to look into is The Medical Model of Disability. It uses a "deficit" approach to looking at disabilities. The social model is an asset based approach which I'm trying to adopt when looking at "disability".
It was my diagnosis and medication at 36 that made me start university and look deeper into the neurodevelopment of ADHD and ASD people, I find it fascinating. Though as toxic as it might be, I do attribute a portion of my success to the medication...without it I wouldn't have had the confidence to find that I am actually book smart.
I just needed something to say "yeah, you had it in you the entire time" T-T
What did you study?
I really really really hope you can get your meds
Concerta was great for awhile! I almost graduated my 3rd attempt at college. It started giving me bad headaches, irritability, heart palpitations & my boyfriend, a NP, told me I needed to stop & that it probably took 10 years off of my life. Best wishes!
Thats scary…did he mean to say that as a blanket statement about all stimulants?
@@Chocowafers Hi, It was the effect it had on me personally.
It comes and goes. Coaching does help but it feels counter productive after a while. But it is necessary. Friends with ADHD are extremely important and helpful… they get it if they are able to be there for you when they are. Regardless of the medication that you need… WE need help with creating systems and strategies that support OURSELVES.
Had a lifetime of my diagnosis and I don’t ever fully understand myself due to the lifestyle and changes of my life. Not to mention the nature of the disorder doesn’t help me remember why I started something that was working but taking it away suddenly made me realize I definitely was dependent on a routine, support, and structure.
I only watched about 20seconds and the FACT you could remember exactly what you started a YEAR ago says allot to me
I'm autistic and don't have ADHD, but I also use stimulants to help get stuff done, specifically coffee. One of my antidepressants also has similar effects to a stimulant. I consider myself to be sensitive to caffeine, as if I have any, it *will* affect my sleep. But sometimes I feel it is necessary to have in order to be able to focus on what needs to be done, even at the cost of good sleep. I feel like I have caffeine and then I have about 30 minutes to point the "focus laser" and whatever I'm focusing on then will be the thing I do.
I would personally argue that even if you are "cheating" by using stimulants, you exist in a world where lots of other people "cheat" the same way. Is it cheating if it's meta? That is to say, how many people need to do something for it to become the game rather than an exception to the game? Most people don't worry about having coffee, and I personally think it's okay for you not to worry about having your medication. Though, I have a feeling you still will anyway, that is the nature of brains. :P
But also, while you and perhaps I am very aware the changes stimulants can bring, I do believe that we have more difficulty than other people in the "getting stuff done" department. So while you may be "above average" on your medication, I also think it's fine to exist as "above average" on medication than "below average" without it. People deserve to be able to function. And when there's a relatively simple solution to help someone function, I think it would be cruel not to offer it and let the person decide if they'd like it or not, guilt-free.
I have autism and innatentive ADHD have you been tested for that type as I thought they only work in adhd
@@Truerealism747 The doctor who late-diagnosed my autism also screened for ADHD (and depression, and lots of other stuff) and while I'm not aware of the exact list of things she looked for, my impression was that she was very competent and very up-to-date on different presentations of the typical co-occurant diagnoses, so I personally have full belief that her assessment was correct and that I am only autistic.
I wouldn't say I have difficulty pointing my focus in a desired direction or a sense that I want to do one thing but my brain is stuck on another thing. But I do still feel like caffeine is a stimulant that enhances my ability to focus and feel energized.
I need your room ❤❤❤. 😮also I’m soo surprised of your journey you seem like a different person . Very excited for you .
Working in a pharmacy I see this a lot unfortunately because of the shortages . If you ask for generic, depending on the generic because some of the generics are also on shortage . What may be best for you is to discuss any alternatives with your MD, until you can get that med again.
I'm very thankful that my psychologist was very insightful when I brought up an interest in medication to shift the conversation framing into a different context. I am struggling to find the focus and energy to start tasks I genuinely want to do and will bring me joy and improve my life, which is why I wanted to pursue medication. But shifting that context; reframing it to spicy food, really helps clarify things. In that context, I am struggling with stomach aches and ulcers but I genuinely love and want to continue to eat an extremely spicy diet of carolina reaper peppers and looking for a medication to help with the stomach problems. The problem isn't that my stomach, or in reality my focus, but that I'm not moderating my life and engagement in tasks. I was seeking medication to give myself the energy to remain toxically productive, which inevitably would result in burn out. She wasn't against medication for me, agreeing it would probably achieve the results I wanted, but reframing it helped give me the drive to try and adjust my life to give my mind more breaks, not more work, so that when I am ready to pursue my hobbies I'll have the energy.
I’ve been thinking a lot about seeing a therapist after my little brother was diagnosed with adhd and started taking medication for it. Seeing how well he is doing, makes me want to stop trying to do it on my own. I’m fairly certain that I also have adhd. It would explain a lot of what I’ve noticed in myself that you described so well in the video about your experience without medication.
I now feel encouraged to take that leap. I have many other issues such as poor coping skills, so I’m hoping therapy can teach me better ways of dealing with my problems as well. Thank you for sharing!
Last year I found out that I was born with a visual impairment and had to wear glasses. When I put them on, I suddenly saw the world in HD. Now it turns out that I was treated for depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders. One psychiatrist claimed that I had a narcissistic personality and another an emotionally unstable personality. I became addicted to drugs, I changed places between Poland, where I was born, Iceland, Great Britain, the Netherlands, and the USA. I spent 6 years in prison. I'm not mentally ill! I have ADHD, after 41 years I found out what's wrong with me!
I was recently diagnosed an started taking stimulants a few months ago. i'm still figuring out its effects and re-figuring out my own conception of myself. i found recently that it helped reduce a sense of overwhelming dread. where i had been feeling overwhelmed to the point of not getting out of bed, on stimulants i was not full of dread.
Dread. Dread. Overwhelming dread.
From when I lift my head, till I fall back into bed.
Dread. Dread. Overwhelming dread.
I assume it is my life, never ending till I'm ded.
I can't imagine what it feels like to not feel that every day, even on weekends, even on holiday, in the middle of the night, when I wake up to pee or just wake in a panic. That and the tinnitus...
Yes, dread. I feel you.
YES YES YES.
@@MetqaI've had tinnitus from 3 is that part of ADHD does meds help to
Is the dread adhd related ? This has been described to me by others with more anxiety leaning personalities.
How would you go using some natural sources of caffine, ie Green Tea, Acai or even a super strong coffee? I have heard that the super strong coffee used to be the stimulant of choice for treating ADHD especially where pharmaceuticals aren't available... best wishes 🙏
This video resonates with me so much, thank you.
Thanks for being here!
This vídeo is sooo inspiring, thanks for share, greetings from Brazil
I am also coming up on my 12 months and the same meds. I think I actually went through some of the same experiences with being able to get things done. Its so strange to all the sudden being able to do stuff which seems to be impossible(very very hard) before. I can feel the difference in the morning when I have a challenging day ahead, where it can feel overwhelming, but when the meds kick in, its still a challenge, but I can face the challenge...I can now cope with some challenges I could not before...
Yesss, I feel like it's almost an extra layer of armour to help other stuff bounce off more quickly and remain more steady and grounded
This is like my 15th video about ADHD meds. I've never gone to get diagnosed, but I know I've lived with it my whole life. The reason I haven't even gone to therapy is that I'm scared. I'm afraid of being on medication all the time, and I'm scared because I don't have a choice about which meds I could take. In my country, only Concerta is available, and I'm afraid that if it doesn't work, I'll be stuck with it forever. ADHD is interfering with my work and life now more than ever, but I'm still paralyzed by it. So my question is, how do I overcome this fear? I'm aware of the problem, but it's so scary for me to just go and see a psychiatrist.
You don't have to take the meds at all. You are still you :)
Once diagnosed, yherepy will teach you how to implement strategies. You won't get rid of it, but you will work around it.
And if therepy is too expensive in your country, there are plenty of videos online that can help a little bit :)
Use alarms for everything!
I'm 38 years old, can relate to all the symptoms so much but never got my ADHD diagnosis, let alone medication. You will be able to handle without meds, but yes, it's a constant struggle.
I still need to fine-tune my dosage but I think my experience on Concerta XL has been very similar to yours. It is a strange feeling to finally be able to...just DO stuff. I think about doing something and I just get up and do it...wild! Unfortunately, it doesn't last for my full work day so I probably need a topper like you're using for PMS days.
The burnout is real however. I generally cannot take my meds for more than 3 days straight or else I get completely exhausted and can't function. I'm probably trying to cram too much into my day while I'm on my "let's do all the things" mode and need to figure out how to slow down or how to take breaks without going down a rabbit-hole. Hopefully I can figure it out this year; I've only been diagnosed for a few months after all.
man i relate to everything u say, its insane. especially that internalized abilism point. i struggle to be proud of what i achieve or do because I feel like im cheating and that if anyone had the meds i had, it would be the same for them ...
I still have to start with my medication so it's all very very interesting to me. Thx for sharing!!
authentic ... thank you for being you! :)
Thank you!
( min 6:50) wow i completely resonate with what you said about swimming, i love swimming too, and yes swimming helps me get in a very relaxed state, not tangled thoughts, no anxiety, i’m so calm and relaxed and not in my head, it’s amazing 🤩. where i go now to swim i have the big blue beautiful swimming pool and hot tubs, and i alternate between swimming and relaxing in the hot tub, sigh of joy, ❤
That sounds divine! I'd like to try more open water swimming. I once went to a swimming pond and it was so wholesome just floating along near a duck 😁
how cute, floating around near a duck 🦆 😊. i like open water swimming better too, now because it’s winter i have to go to the indoor swimming pool, i,m lucky i have one close to me. the not so good part as you said is getting there, especially now in my city there are modernizing the roads , streets, and i can’t go to the entrance of the spa, i have to park at some distance and walk through dug asphalt. when i get there i,m so happy, it’s worth it. I was just thinking to go when your video pop up and i watched it because i like your videos and now i,m getting ready to go. thanks for your cute comment 😊
Looking so forward to be able to try this hopefully in may thanks for sharing!
What you said about serving others and focusing your energy into people pleasing has really spoken to me I have done this in previous relationships running round like a chicken for people who would do the bare minimum for me or maybe i guess what is normal for people in a relationship I don't know it just seemed normal but looking back I would be going above and beyond because I had made that person the most important in my life and I guess the one that was the previous "best" was annoyed at that and did everything they could to end my relationship with that person because i guess they noticed their control of me slipping fucked stuff man
The cheating life thing hit me so hard. My meds changed my life and they improved so many things. Very recently though I had a mental breakdown (probably hormone/PMDD related) and I didn't take them for 4 days and I noticed I was so much happier without them. I'm not sure what to do, I'm scared that if I stop taking them my life will fall apart. I think for the moment I need to trial going stimulant free. There's so much experimentation and trial and error needed to get the right balance.
This is a really good video. Burnout is bad.
I have a hard time stopping and not being guilty if I am not busy. I think a lot of it comes from feeling guilty for not being able to complete tasks or staying on task when I grew up.
I was on concerta a year n half been a year off them now .. I found the same I kept doing so much stuff what's good but I found it messed my appetite up so bad n when I had covid I felt I needed nutrition but didn't get any .. I started getting major anxcity from it when they wore off.. iv been off them a yr n am now the heavyist iv ever been n get depressed if I don't have something to focus on but it's okay.. I accept myself more from my medication experiance
No idea how I got here. But it was interesting to hear about how ADHD feels and it helped me understand how my colleague works. Edit: I want to add something interesting I noticed.
He and I are both very productive and hard working. But for me it is effort and coming up with the energy to do it and for him it is more like he needs to channel energy that is always there.
I have autism as well as adhd so I just assumed all the adhd symptoms I had were part of my autism, and when I went to autism groups I sometimes felt like such a failure because I lacked the focus that people had, my special interests flip flopped so much whereas most people at the group had one for a very long time so became experts, I've only recently been diagnosed with adhd and I'm realising so many things, I used to be like how tf do people manage to do housework, keep a job, have hobbies, have a social life, sleep and take care of themselves and I can't, what the hell is wrong with me, but now I realise the combination of autism and adhd I feel less like a failure and I have some hope that I may be able to get medication to help because it feels like my autism and adhd fight, it's like omfg pick a struggle please brain lol
I feel similar. Right now i was referred on suspiction that i have asd. I did score high on the preliminary tests. But i do identify with the feeling of lack of motivation, dread and outright chaos that ADHD fellows describe. Lets see whats up in my case. I might very well have both like you and others 😅
OMG. I relate so much to this.
i feel that . except for me it was the opposite. my autism got undiagnosed because i thought my symptoms were all just adhd . it is just crazy how diagnosis can make you feel less alone and take away alot of self jugement . i still call myself lazy sometimes and tell myself to stop
@@myname-mz3loare you hypermobile ime add asperger's and fybromyalgia ime hoping ADHD meds help.muscle pain
I’m the same - but remember that it’s called the autistic spectrum for a reason, everyone is different, so having adhd on top creates even bigger differences
I've had a deep skeptical feeling about the different meds make 18 months on.... I remenber the initial feeling of sludge clearing, but I have to remind myself I'm not going to have the same response given I'm not in my natural state! I often forget to take them after my first and ignore my triggers to actually take them. Partly because of ADHD, and partly because of the disbelief and reluctance to rely on something external.... I don't like taking meds as a rule. So after being totally honest with my psych, I decided to put the deep feelings aside and give it a proper go. Its certainly a journey, and trial and error....
Thank you for sharing - yeah I definitely relate to these different feelings, it's a complex mix! I haven't enjoyed taking them last week, even though they were working amazingly the week before - but I think maybe that helps me see that they serve a specific purpose which does and doesn't help in certain situations. To make it sound even more complicated haha
The part of being off medication and feeling worse because you lost the ability to deal with your natural state is one thing Im really trying to prevent by not taking it every day and only when its really necessary. Thats also partially how I can keep tabs on if meds still work. And my god, it does.
Solid vid, just a fair heads up that your recording software is on your AirPod mic instead of your blue yeti
I hope
Congratulations! Have you found yourself to be less jittery and agitated on the medication? Has it quieted your mind and even helped your anxiety? Thank you again. Well done!!!!
Generally yes, less restlessness for sure and less what I would call 'anticipatory anxiety' on the lead up to things throughout the day. Thank you 💛
Thank you so much for this video.
You are very welcome 💖
first 2 hours taking ritalin, Im working in my computer and I have not stand up to go to the kitchen 10 times to snack something lol first good thing, my head feels a bit too light tho, I hope I dont get dizzy.