I love what Radical Honesty is.... Lying can bring trouble, and honesty can bring trouble... it's about choosing what kind of trouble you want, good or bad...
His book radical honesty changed my life. I’ve read and listened to so many books on spirituality and the brain/trauma and his blew me away within the first half hour. EASILY my favorite
16:09: "..When you experience an experience, it comes and goes. When you resist experiencing an experience, it persists. The major form of resisting your experience is by thinking." …Nice!
I love this description of enlightenment. Noticing vs thinking. I literally had this experience on a boat today. When I was thinking I just thought of all of the terrible things that could happen, but when I was just listening to my music and feeling the movement of the boat I was able to relax and feel calm, even though the movements were crazy, because I wasn't relating the movements to any future outcome, I just noticed them. It's meditation.
Roaming With Rahema i think you just described the concept he is trying to present perfectly. I’m half into the video and I’m not r e a l l y getting what he’s tryna say but with your comment it made sense. Tbh he’s not great at explaining meditation nor the connection to being honest... it’s a messy talk
100% noticing is presence & awareness through observation. Thinking is distraction & confusion, it’s impossible to observe when distracted. Improv comedy is great at training your brain to be present in the now & observe. It never works when you preplan responses. The one & only reason we try to preplan responses is fear. We subconsciously worry about approval from others & we overthink. Genuine observation allows us to understand our own internal state & pick up on cues from others. It’s amazing how much we can guide others in even the hardest conversations when we have the ability to not think(assumptions spawn here) & to notice instead. We are more inquisitive asking questions to clarify the things we notice in others & more objective to their responses not taking everything so personal.
Sharing honesty with a person who has a vast amount of humility is painlessly easy, especially if you are a humble, person as well. What seems to be difficult for people is being humble enough to accept, analyze, and build off of the honesty received from others in order to better themselves. In other words, if you dish it, you should also be able to take it. Before we can be honest with others, we need to be honest with ourselves. Not everyone is honest enough with themselves to positively utilize honesty in order to better themselves, or to better understand others.
Yes but in most mindfulness practices you do not then tell other people honestly how you are feeling. The radical honesty part is what is important here. Mindfulness is merely the noticing part which is easier, the telling the truth to others about what you are feeling and thinking is the challenging part because we are all lying, to ourselves and others all day long. In the roles we play, the repression of emotions that feel etc.
No, he isn't. By saying that you're just reducing his life's work and immensely valuable wisdom down to single word that is already so poorly understood by so many.
The Dutch have mastered this. Sometimes it can be relieving, and other times the truth can really be painful or breaks your heart. Straightforwardness and honesty can really be a double-edged sword.
Around 14:40 I can relate. My brother died and I cried and felt so much relief afterwards. Still grieved but it took so much sadness out of me. Made me think about past experiences and I see the truth in what he said. No matter what the pain after crying and coming to terms and accepting it you feel sort of free.
Yes! Honesty truly is a necessary practice for any relationship of any kind to thrive. We often blame others for our inability to be honest with them. They are just going to get mad, can’t handle the truth, etc. That’s actually the sorry excuse we tell ourselves because we lack the courage needed to be vulnerable &compassion needed to deliver the truth. It’s not what you it’s how you say it that poses an issue. Even with someone who repeatedly gets offended by truth. If you consistently deliver the truth in a nonjudgmental way & let your genuine intentions know that it’s to provide a benefit to this person they will be conditioned to feel reward not punishment with you. We all have the power to be successful in mastering communication & honesty when we challenge our own intentions first. Honesty isn’t our personal opinion it can be our personal interpretations. I think people confuse what’s truth with what’s preference and that’s when conflicts happen. Now others can misunderstand you creating conflicts but having conviction in our intentions & making them clear is hard to argue with if intentions are noble.
around 12:30 - "... offend people... hurt people's feelings... stick with them until they get over it... only takes 90 seconds..." Words to Live By: Honesty and Truth is the best way!
Incredibely interesting what that man has to say. He definetely knows stuff! I can understand his thinking because I can refer to most of the things by myself. He continues his thoughts and goes a step further, which is really what is so interesting for me, because it feels like I've learned alot about myself after this little talk. Also I like his humor he seems like a down to earth person even with his "brutal honesty"
Years I’ve been trying to explain just that!. I stumbled across this video and he summarized what I’ve been trying to put into words in less than five minutes!!!
@@riverratrvr9225 Ok (and I am an over-thinker and will strive to let go), but “action” with respect to a certain moral code, right? Interesting philosophical and ethical considerations for us societally and individually: freedom from what others might think, but ‘actions freeing ourselves to be our best selves’ and not ‘actions just for action’s sake or complete disregard of others; the roles of tact, compassion and understanding. I guess it depends on the lens in which you see the world. I would like to hear him talk about the space between a person being upset from hearing your truth to them getting over it.
I used to be honest with everybody. Then I learned that it is not always good to be honest. Since then my relationships with everybody improved like 400 % :D
OneRingToRuleThemAll So there you have it...many counterfeit fellowships with lots of small talk and pretense. Very draining for those of us who love being who we REALLY are, and telling the truth about that.
I try to process my thoughts as I watch this video, I mostly feel happy and I just pray... that the past doesn't get in the way of my happiness... and that all my stresses don't overwhelm me... and... there's a person I want... I want them to want me, just as I am. I pray for true love.
i did that all my life, didnt work. cause most people dont care about my intentions, and the exact words im saying, only about their assumptions of it.
Commenting before watching the video fully. I think it is okay to lose things while being honest. Honesty will replace people that is attracted to your true self and change your true self or of bad things. You will enjoy those things.
Totally enjoyed this concept which resonated within me, made me feel good, i just listened without thinking, writting it down, enjoying knowing i have just gone further than before. The Mantra was spectacular. I knew it, hahaha, Perfect. Thank you Brad Banton. I will begin my practice now knowing i have the recipe to cure restlessness & dis satisfaction.
Whilst reading these comments, it occurred to me in how they did such a perfect job of being great examples of his 3 minds breakdown, by showing on what different levels (or minds sets) people were in while watching the video, and therefore what they took away from it. It also appears that honesty is really scary to many people...
Being an introverted intuitive I can definitely agree thinking is messy and noticing is more important. As I tell people, "My intuition is always right, but that doesn't mean I am". I can think myself in the wrong direction or even in circles if I'm not careful about listening to my intuition; which is great at noticing.
Although I completely agree with his views on honesty I was very disappointed with the misleading title of this talk. Really has nothing to do with getting over shit to be happy which I was looking forward to hearing. Even the written description never mentions it. This seems to be more and more of a common problem with the Ted channel lately. Extremely frustrating and annoying. Do a better job with your titles Ted!!
+Law Turley Thanks for replying.. I deleted my commentary, you made me realise it was a mistake. I'm glad it worked for you (the Radical Honesty approach). It certainly made things a lot better and deepened the relationship between me and my parents, released a lot of guilt and so on. But with strangers.. It's a life of doom, of everyone against you. Life is already as hard as it is, being jobless and mocked by everyone just because you believe the ''Zen"' perception of yourself being the momentary experience and not the self-created image is not making it better. And telling the truth "'helps"' the others ? Why would I give a fuck about others and make my life a misery to help them ? And I doubt Blanton is telling the truth everytime like he claims, he's certainly smart but I'm sure he's full of shit.
+Lucian Z. I really appreciate your honesty and the way you express yourself, and I imagine you feel angry and resentful about how RH hasn't had a similarly beneficial effect on your life. I'm not sure the RH always helps others (did Brad say that in this talk? I can't remember), because I think others have to be in a place to receive that kind of help for it to be helpful :P For some it is just hurtful and confusing to hear unfiltered thoughts and feelings, and their reaction may well be anger which they express by ridiculing you. I am still in the early days of implementing RH throughout my life - outside of my immediate circle of family and friends - but I do believe I'm in the right place to accept and weather whatever comes my way in terms of negative feedback. You don't sound as if you are there yet, and I imagine that because of the way you describe RH as making your life a misery and saying everyone is against you. Maybe they're not against you Lucian, maybe they're just scared as hell of the idea that we should all put down our masks and be who we are inside. I feel like chatting more to you about this, so please do add me as contact if you feel the same :)
Law Turley Edit: I got past my severe social anxiety phase thanks to admitting the faults I had and was embarrased of to those close around me. I admit I'm kinda ugly and socially awkward. So what ? People still kiss my ass calling me handsome and stuff even after I admitted I know and embrace the truth. I was as honest as I could at a course I'm currently participating in, and people see me as arrogant , anti social etc. I only shared my true opinions on certain topics of discussion , I wasn't criticising them personally. Imagine if I applied the technique 100%.. Bye bye job interviews, bye bye oportunities ! I think Brad Blanton is full of shit when he claims that this is the only way people ahould live. I'm interested in meeting honest people but not fat schmuck gurus to recruit me in their army, to change the world, to pay 500$ for them to see my dick and all of us laugh about it. Sorry for the grammar mistakes, I'm from Romania. I wish you good luck on your way! This comment is only my opinion coming from my life experience so far (i'm 21). Sorry if It offended you or anyone.
+Law Turley That's good, because I can barely afford to pay the internet anyway. For 3000$ you can learn how to say everything that comes to your mind, which is f*****g hard, when thinking about the consequences, not when applying the shit. Have a good day Law, I'll keep practicing !
A concrete example would have been worth its weight in gold here! A real-life example. It feels like he was saying some profound concepts but this short talk failed to bring it home, so to speak. I was so frustrated when it ended without an example.
This makes me cry laugh, because that's my instinct and way of being. I'm the buzz kill, analyzing, criticizing family member. No one enjoys being responded to with a person's true perception. If they did, I'd be the happiest person in the world. Mind you, wording and approach with the honesty is critical, still being the reality checker isnt the job with a happy face rating. Personal option, based on personal experience. Take it how you please.
I almost gave up on this about two min in... I’m glad I didn’t. This man just explained to me why none of the approaches I have taken to calm and organize and carry out my thoughts and plans have worked. They were coming at it the wrong way. Well, I was. I have a very hard time, every single day, not living in my mind. It’s obsessive, uncontrollable, life altering and can become misery. It’s so hard to put this into practice, what he is saying, and I wonder if other people suffer as I do or if I’m just blowing it out of proportion to myself. 😥
Whit here with you in the misery, you're not alone. In my mind all day every day. Makes it hard sometimes to interact with others, many times I have trouble sleeping because of too many thoughts. But I'm still hopeful that things can get better, trying to accept that things are the way they are now, I am the way that I am, but I don't always have to be like this. I practice all kinds of techniques, sometimes they work, other times not so much. But still hanging in there and doing my best not to over think it haha. He made some good points in his talk, hope it will be helpful for you. Don't give up hope ✨
In the same boat with you brother. I have been able to not completely destroy my cognitive space only because of the practice of meditation. Had it not been for that, I’d be so far down the rabbit hole of the stories in my mind that they would’ve had to surgically remove me from down there. So yeah, this talk makes a lot of sense and brings much insight as well.....
Almost all of us live with this my friend. You are not alone. I recommend that you read a book on Zen Buddhism. " The ways of Zen" by Alan watts is a good one. Zen Buddhism is surprisingly similar in philosophy to this Ted talk.
Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now, changed my life. I also got it on tape and listened to it until I finally learned how to stop thinking. I've never been more productive and happier.
MrMagoo I’ve just started to listen to the audio book. I’m not sure how I’ll get on as it’s the first book I’ve listened too. Any particular parts you found helpful?
Saul Goodman in the beginning of this video he talks about the mind and thinking and eckhart tolles books teach you how to separate from the mind and stop thinking
Absolutely enjoyed this presentation. I laughed I cried laughing so much. I watched it 3 times in a row. I love this Man! What a wonderful way in which he explained it. This guy is a must follow for my blissful ignorance. This talk will be shared among the others in my tribe. Tedx Talks are the best medicine I could ask for. Much respect an gratitude for all you'all do the make this site available for free. It's a lifeline for me. However, I would definitely take out a second mortgage to join if it was a paid subscription.
there needs to be a talk about this? oh man... i've been like this all my life. Im really laughing at people saying "be ready for isolation,awful life etc" if you care about what everyone thinks, then something is wrong If you wanna live a life with fake friends,hypocrites, people that you dont really like or like you, be free, i like my "lonely" group of friends, i like being me, and i like my friends for being them. Honesty sometimes hurts, but it helps ,so much.
"be ready for isolation..." funny that, i'm a loner by default anyway, so what? "...,awful life etc" an awful life doesn't come from being honest, in fact if were not honest to ourselves how could we ever acknowledge that our life is shit or that something must change
So helping and I love him. So sweet, heart felt, and amazingly smart! Thank you. I will you the “I’m listening”. Cause it turned my monkey mind right off. Thank you DR B Blanton🌱❤🌱
People can't be honest. They don't even know what they are. Thus their version of honesty is always changing. Every time they think they've discovered something new about themselves their perspective changes and this results in an inconsistency in their beliefs and their actions. Given the same neurochemistry, DNA, conditioning, environment, family influences, anyone could be one of the very people they often demonize. People are more or less products of society. Without the information put into you by society you'd have no way of contemplating anything, never mind what you are, who you are, and whether or not you're honest or not.
When you start being honest with yourself you will definitely find out who you are. We are all just silly human beings and we make many mistakes during our life. And you will also realize that it's actually mistakes that make us learn and will therefore help us grow. You will start taking yourself less seriously when you find out who you are through honesty. Honesty is the best way to tear down the walls of our ego-construct and it will help us see more clearly who we are. It's actually the best way to be in an ever changing world.
@@Benny_000 The "you" that you seem to know and experience as yourself is a pseudo self, a lesser or secondary self. That so-called self is what you would call the "ego." As there can be but one now, one reality, one all, one infinity, there can be but one SELF, the one that actually is present here, now. Of course, only if one is ruthlessly honest is this clear. Certainly, life is honest with itself. The term "human being" is an oxymoron. The entirety of the purported human experience takes place in time that is never present, never being. Go ahead and try to capture the present in the context of time. Time only deals with what is not anymore or what is not yet. This means time is a field of not, it does not really exist. If one is going to speak on what is real, true, valid, then one must start with that which IS. The word is means, exist, have being. If time never stops to "be" how can there be an entity called a human being within the context of that which is non-being? Can you be honest? Life is now, so only now is alive. Now is not a time, in time, nor a product of time. Time seems to pretend there's a point when it is not now. When is that? Never!
@@junxu7588 What you "think" you notice "honestly." What he is proposing is rooted in thought itself. Even who or what you think you are is rooted in thought.
*Noticing involves all the senses.* I can notice that I have particular thoughts or that I am lying to someone. I can notice how that feels in my body, and then I must make a decision (choose a thought) about what I will do next. I do not believe that we can truly separate our thoughts from our emotions and sensations since they impact each other. If I notice that I am nervous or afraid, that too, comes from a thought - regardless from what part of our mind that comes: the thought is "I am in danger or under threat." I believe it is also critical to consider neuroscience here as well as psychology. A deficit in a particular neurotransmitter will also cause particular emotions, thoughts, desires and sensations such as anxiety, crying, cravings, and so forth. These deficiencies might be the result of a lack of nutrients, stress, chronic stress, alcohol, insomnia, and so forth. Look up the work of Julia Ross. *Noticing can also be deceiving.* I notice that I am experiencing anxiety in my body as a figure of authority speaks to me. Does that imply that he/she is wrong or bad? Does that imply that I should resent them when in fact, only when I choose to analyze my bodily sensations (via thought) am I able to understand that this visceral response is the result of trauma or my thought "This person reminds me of my abusive father" even if they have done nothing wrong. *We also lie to maintain social relations, and because we need connections with other people; we need to belong and be accepted to a healthy extent.* Yes, children state what they feel often without filters but those same children learn to lie not because they saw their parents do it, but rather because they learned that to get what they want and to avoid getting in trouble (which would result in pain, punishment, disconnection or lack of love) they needed to lie. That is the way we all learn to lie, I believe! Finally, while lying might relieve us it is not always in the best interests of the other person or the relationship with the other person. I teach it is best to speak your truth with compassion but it is also critical to pause and ask yourself "Is what I am about to say in the best and highest interests of both of us. Many years ago, my mother said to me, "You think I am an awful mother, too, don't you?" I replied, No. Mom. I don't think that at all." It would not have helped my mother to reveal my own issues with her - she was not able to receive that since she already suffered from deep self-loathing. I do not in any way regret having lied or withheld the truth from her. And I am glad that I told her "I love you, mom!" versus ranting about her failings. Instead, I chose to do my own inner work to deal with my own resentments towards her rather than hurling them at her. *I am at peace. Radical honesty applied to me being honest with myself, not with her.* *Finally, I do not believe in absolutism.* Radical honesty may work in some settings and some relationships, but not all, and no, telling someone the reasons you resent them in person will not result in peace all around after 90 seconds as the speaker Blanton suggests. That is falsely based on the presumption that we are all the same, at the same level in maturity, emotional intelligence, personal accountability and free of all of our insecurities and trauma.
@@Bogeyman19DidNotScareMyAss sorry you had such a hard time comprehending my comment.. should I correct the spelling, just for you? Just so you'll be satisfied with yourself?
7:50. I was on sick leave for 40 days, I had extremely stressful situations at home, I got anxiety and insomnia over it. I lost 17 lbs, and looked sick. I was supposed to return to work or retire. ( I NEVER WANTED TO EVER RETIRE).. I put on my uniform and looked into the mirror,.. and I totally FREEKED OUT!!... I was home alone.. my 1st thought was " I CAN'T GO BACK TO WORK LIKE THIS "!!... I called and retired. I had a breakdown and was hospitalized. I couldn't believe what I had done.!!! I wasn't able to return... and went into depression!, and horrible regret. My minds betrayed me by the look in the mirror! I didn't have to retire myself!, I could have took more leave without pay. The Stressed brain with insomnia couldn't think on the positive situation and thought only negative outcomes. It has ruined my life.. I haven't recovered from this traumatic mistake. I lost interest in life... don't go anywhere or do anything... im actually in stuck mode.., like shock!.. I don't leave the apt anymore also... What happened to me.?? Why did I freak out so bad? Why did I retire myself! ( knowing I never ever wanted that) Why now, am I in denial and still cannot believe this happened. My life is in stuck mode! Unable to let go and move on. It's been 4 months 5 days... will I ever Snap out?.. and accept?... 🙏
So weird. My radical honesty got me into big trouble and now my friend hates me for it and is doing everything she can to deny reality and come up with ways to “disprove” the truth. It’s so hard for us humans to be honest with ourselves and be ok with not being perfect. Just admit your flaws, then work on doing better.
Pursuing, upholding, and defending truth is more important than any of us individually. If we don't protect honesty then our systems break down, or the bad versions of them grow. Individuals rely on our systems of individuals, so we have to think of all the people we're connected to if we lie or are honest and what those two do to the whole.
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but she was never friends with you, only the person you pretended to be. And I agree, it is hard but nothing of value in this life comes easily. Finding meaning and a deep sense of connection can be the most difficult thing to achieve. Not money, nor fame, nor the most amazing body can ever replace the work that one must do to feel deeply connected to one's self or another.
Ive just discovered RH and I am fascinated. I want to be radically honest. I want to be with radically honest people. I HATE bs and it abounds everywhere.
I went to a workshop last week. For me, this is the best thing that one can do if one looks for Self-expression. I've done a lot of workshops and this one is the top. We, people, connect mostly through language, so the way one interacts with others largely depends on the quality of sharing. One can test it himself/herself and have his own conclusions after that. The energy that one gets with honest communication is quite high. Still, a workshop helps a lot to get the nitty gritty part. It could become too theoretical just by watching this clip. I love it so I am going to keep going. I have better relationships with most of my relatives. For the others, it's just not happening. It gives me great relief to realize that is something they have chosen since I gave my best to connect. One can't change others but can change himself. Thanks Brad Blanton.
Hei, yes... Actually, they told me things I never knew so with all the people around me the connection deepened even more. I want to hear the truth actually. There is something in being honest. Overall the level of satisfaction is a lot more since I don't have the thoughts of hiding. My mom is still worried as usual but I am not that much. It's a great way to try it out. It's just a different way of living. I see it's not for everyone. And it's fine. Don't know if I answered your question...
@@thefeelingmethod Yes you did. Thanks for your answer. My thought was that we only hear about the benefits of BEING radically honest and little about the effects of RECEIVING it.
it's like everybody knows honesty but only few really practicing it in to reality like this guy... everybody else in the world is dishonest, including me... honesty can really really put our lives in a simple and easy way....
This guy has one of those voices that lulls you into a sense of false security with its velvety soft southern accent then rips it away hilariously when he curses.
People are scared to be really honest. I am practicing this in my life and it’s amazing. Honesty has been great in clarifying the distortions. And I love that this life is full of troubles. What kind of trouble do you want to be in. Telling the truth is the best trouble to be in. 😂 😆 😝
Hahaha! "What's the best kind of trouble?" Better to be honest and be in trouble with somebody else than to betray yourself and lie and REALLY be in trouble with you.
I'm an INTP, and radical honesty is the fundamental cornerstone of my personality. I can tell you from a lifetime of experiences being completely honest, that this is NOT always the correct course of action. An early example being a teacher that asks you why you weren't in class. If you tell her the truth, that you skipped because you simply didn't want to go, you will suffer consequences. Although I'd proven my penchant for honesty, she lost her trust in me. Are you prepared to suffer real consequences for your actions? Another, and more disastrous outcome, involves the consequences you'll suffer when revealing truths to the people that you love. You may be prepared to suffer the consequences of their disappointment and/or scorn, but are THEY prepared to handle it? In this instance, your pursuit of radical honesty is a selfish act. Honesty may liberate you, but may harm those that are not yet on your plane of heightened self awareness. Are you willing to admit to your dying mother that you're an atheist, and do not believe that her death will take her somewhere you'll be able to see her again? My atheism was called out on her deathbed, and I regret my stoic faith in radical honesty in that instance. It would have been kinder to allow the dying woman before me, my own mother, the solace that I believed what she believed. That she wasn't really leaving existence forever, and we'd see each other again. In a perfect world, everyone would appreciate, respect, and accept radical honesty. The truth is that this isn't a perfect world, and the vast majority of people will revile and reject it. This isn't to say that you should lie about things that will have a genuine positive impact on the world regardless of how it will affect you (whistleblowing, or standing up to an employer that takes advantage of their employees, for instance). Learn to recognize when honesty is a selfish act that only benefits yourself, and when it will do real harm to those unprepared for it.
You still have learning to do, I appreciate your honesty and I am always learning as well. I'm just curious being honest and excepting others differences should go hand in hand, respecting them as well. Love is the most powerful gift.
@@angelajohnson1902 I'm 38, I've done plenty of learning. I think you misunderstand what I'm saying. I understand and accept others because I understand and accept myself so freely. The problem is that others aren't always on the same level of self-acceptance, and they're unable to be thankful for, or process, the unadulterated truths about themselves. Sometimes it's a kindness to refrain from complete, blunt honesty, even when it goes against your own values.
Fosterliberty lol. Yeah let's just rub each others egos till we all don't even know what's true and what's not. Who gives a fuck about having a huge social network. Being honest to yourself and those around you is more rewarding than having 10,000 "friends". I say, if you have to lie to your friends or stretch the truth, they aren't real friends.
Such a hard audience ... but I get it , we all made so many negative experiences by truly speaking our minds that it’s like : yeah dude go on. But he is so right, with his thoughts!
The one thing that kinda hit me about this was just not thinking and feeling things out, i think that went over most peoples heads but being me, i think too much about social interactions and that stops me from having them at all
Wow. So many of you are saying such mean things about this kind man who genuinely believes he's on to something good and is trying to share it with people. Will it work for all listeners? Of course not. But it might work for some. We're all wired differently. I'm sure for some not telling the truth all their lives has caused untold amounts of pain for them. Maybe i5s their BIG THING. Maybe they haven't even realized it until this lecture and they walk away better people for the experience. I happen to be one of those who blurts out unsavory words without giving it a second thought. Maybe this lesson isn't for me or you but I give the man credit for his kindness and his attempt to make the world a better, kinder place, unlike so many who here who have clearly gone out of their way to make this particular spot on earth a place of ridicule and judgement. Haters gonna hate no matter what. Peace.
His idea is good but you have to remember this: "Absolute honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings.". I know we want the truth but unless people just get the fuck over it and move on and deal with it, we won't ever be able to be there.
Cri354 in an interview he sayd that it's critical and better to offend others by telling what is, by telling the truth, (to offend others) because only in that way you will create an intimate and profound relationship with the other person.. and you'll get over the shit together..
Vasile Surdu I used to live on a commune where we practiced radical honesty, and that was precisely the idea. It was pretty painful for the first five or six months, but when you get used to it, it opens up a whole dimension.
but we have not tried honesty, we know we are not honest and that is what we have been comfortably practicing. i would say most experiments would be suitable for africa because they are new people their society has no grid they barely know the beauty of their country while others have established such thing long ago which stands to this day. plus we have immigrant in europeans nations now lets see if the same opportunities bare significance for them as it did is and will be for us
In regard to awareness, there is at least one more type which exists than the 3 which he stated. For instance, the eve before 9/11, I know someone who spoke out and described a feeling of terror gripped them. It was extraordinary--an awareness that something was coming. As a result, this person insisted that their out of town guest go directly to the airport and get on a flight home that night. The guest managed to get on the last flight out of SFO. The rest is history. I would call this awareness premonitory. Just my 2 cents. This is an awesome video and tremendously helpful. Grateful it was posted!
It took me a while to find which one you were talking about. When I finally saw him over there in the corner, I emitted a real laugh. Thank you Jesus for thy sharp eyes.
“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.” Loa Tzu
Powerful
Soooooo true!
Tao Te Ching is my favorite book !
I see that's true now. When you cared for someone's opinion and became their prisoner how do you get back from that point ?
Amen to that friend!
I love what Radical Honesty is.... Lying can bring trouble, and honesty can bring trouble... it's about choosing what kind of trouble you want, good or bad...
This guy was amazing. The crowd wasn’t on his level at all. He’s dropping jewels for real.
The audiences on a lot of these psychological TED talks must be medicated. I've seen livelier undergrads in required lectures at 8 a.m.
In their defense, that voice in a dim-lit theatre setting is primed for dozing off.
His book radical honesty changed my life. I’ve read and listened to so many books on spirituality and the brain/trauma and his blew me away within the first half hour. EASILY my favorite
@@WorkerBeesUnitethank you for the book reference
I've been subconsciously searching for this discussion for a long time, now I feel like I have another piece to the puzzle. Thank you Brad.
Did you already read his book "Radical Honesty"?
16:09: "..When you experience an experience, it comes and goes. When you resist experiencing an experience, it persists. The major form of resisting your experience is by thinking." …Nice!
Solid gold
“If you’re trying to stop your mind, it’s the best way to keep it going.”
PREACH!!!
And then he says "Stop thinking" :D
Yes! Especially at 2 am
I love this: diplomacy is what causes war. Agree. Another word for diplomacy is bullsh*t or dishonesty.
I love this description of enlightenment. Noticing vs thinking. I literally had this experience on a boat today. When I was thinking I just thought of all of the terrible things that could happen, but when I was just listening to my music and feeling the movement of the boat I was able to relax and feel calm, even though the movements were crazy, because I wasn't relating the movements to any future outcome, I just noticed them. It's meditation.
Roaming With Rahema i think you just described the concept he is trying to present perfectly. I’m half into the video and I’m not r e a l l y getting what he’s tryna say but with your comment it made sense. Tbh he’s not great at explaining meditation nor the connection to being honest... it’s a messy talk
100% noticing is presence & awareness through observation. Thinking is distraction & confusion, it’s impossible to observe when distracted. Improv comedy is great at training your brain to be present in the now & observe. It never works when you preplan responses. The one & only reason we try to preplan responses is fear. We subconsciously worry about approval from others & we overthink. Genuine observation allows us to understand our own internal state & pick up on cues from others. It’s amazing how much we can guide others in even the hardest conversations when we have the ability to not think(assumptions spawn here) & to notice instead. We are more inquisitive asking questions to clarify the things we notice in others & more objective to their responses not taking everything so personal.
Great example
@@melissahusa2650thank you this is something I sorely need.
Sharing honesty with a person who has a vast amount of humility is painlessly easy, especially if you are a humble, person as well. What seems to be difficult for people is being humble enough to accept, analyze, and build off of the honesty received from others in order to better themselves. In other words, if you dish it, you should also be able to take it. Before we can be honest with others, we need to be honest with ourselves. Not everyone is honest enough with themselves to positively utilize honesty in order to better themselves, or to better understand others.
LaconicMuse378 Absolutely accurate! Touché! 🙏👊👏👌
LaconicMuse378 Well stated TRUTH. ✨👌🏽✨
Perfectly put
Magnificent observation.
Very good point
He’s simply describing being present and stepping out of the stream of thinking. Mindfulness.
WL Robinson yes but in a confusing way.....
Yes but in most mindfulness practices you do not then tell other people honestly how you are feeling. The radical honesty part is what is important here. Mindfulness is merely the noticing part which is easier, the telling the truth to others about what you are feeling and thinking is the challenging part because we are all lying, to ourselves and others all day long. In the roles we play, the repression of emotions that feel etc.
No, he isn't. By saying that you're just reducing his life's work and immensely valuable wisdom down to single word that is already so poorly understood by so many.
The Dutch have mastered this. Sometimes it can be relieving, and other times the truth can really be painful or breaks your heart. Straightforwardness and honesty can really be a double-edged sword.
But the point is which to choose of the lesser two evils?!
This guy is as close to a hero as I think anyone is ever going to get for me.
Around 14:40 I can relate. My brother died and I cried and felt so much relief afterwards. Still grieved but it took so much sadness out of me. Made me think about past experiences and I see the truth in what he said. No matter what the pain after crying and coming to terms and accepting it you feel sort of free.
Yes! Honesty truly is a necessary practice for any relationship of any kind to thrive. We often blame others for our inability to be honest with them. They are just going to get mad, can’t handle the truth, etc. That’s actually the sorry excuse we tell ourselves because we lack the courage needed to be vulnerable &compassion needed to deliver the truth. It’s not what you it’s how you say it that poses an issue. Even with someone who repeatedly gets offended by truth. If you consistently deliver the truth in a nonjudgmental way & let your genuine intentions know that it’s to provide a benefit to this person they will be conditioned to feel reward not punishment with you. We all have the power to be successful in mastering communication & honesty when we challenge our own intentions first. Honesty isn’t our personal opinion it can be our personal interpretations. I think people confuse what’s truth with what’s preference and that’s when conflicts happen. Now others can misunderstand you creating conflicts but having conviction in our intentions & making them clear is hard to argue with if intentions are noble.
I love this guy!!!! This is thr best thing I've seen in 2023 so far!!!!
He said that he wants us to go out and practice radical honesty. I don't give a f*** what he wants.
Emm Jones Lmao 😂
Well done you were paying attention
Hahaha funny
Lmao
Good job
around 12:30 - "... offend people... hurt people's feelings... stick with them until they get over it... only takes 90 seconds..."
Words to Live By: Honesty and Truth is the best way!
I have embraced radical honesty in the past year.Its the best thing ever but very hard to reconfigure your brain to do it.
because it is bs. you can find an easier term: accept what is. You dont have to like it.
Incredibely interesting what that man has to say. He definetely knows stuff! I can understand his thinking because I can refer to most of the things by myself. He continues his thoughts and goes a step further, which is really what is so interesting for me, because it feels like I've learned alot about myself after this little talk. Also I like his humor he seems like a down to earth person even with his "brutal honesty"
This man and his message is awesome and amazing
Wonderful.I am radically honest and this made me feel so much better.I have always felt diplomacy was the best form of lying.
Years I’ve been trying to explain just that!. I stumbled across this video and he summarized what I’ve been trying to put into words in less than five minutes!!!
When you resist experiencing an experience it persists and the major way we resist experience is by thinking
Noticing is more important than thinking
Actions over thoughts...
Chris Pregot ❤️
Buddist call it the monkey brain
@@riverratrvr9225 Ok (and I am an over-thinker and will strive to let go), but “action” with respect to a certain moral code, right? Interesting philosophical and ethical considerations for us societally and individually: freedom from what others might think, but ‘actions freeing ourselves to be our best selves’ and not ‘actions just for action’s sake or complete disregard of others; the roles of tact, compassion and understanding. I guess it depends on the lens in which you see the world. I would like to hear him talk about the space between a person being upset from hearing your truth to them getting over it.
I used to be honest with everybody. Then I learned that it is not always good to be honest. Since then my relationships with everybody improved like 400 % :D
OneRingToRuleThemAll
So there you have it...many counterfeit fellowships with lots of small talk and pretense.
Very draining for those of us who love being who we REALLY are, and telling the truth about that.
people pleaser
A person’s response to what you say is not your struggle, it’s theirs.
OneRingToRuleThemAll was it honesty or just blurting?
@@lemostjoyousrenegade preach🙏
I try to process my thoughts as I watch this video,
I mostly feel happy and I just pray...
that the past doesn't get in the way of my happiness...
and that all my stresses don't overwhelm me...
and... there's a person I want...
I want them to want me, just as I am.
I pray for true love.
Oh my gosh thank you so much for doing this tedtalk I sat here wondering for months why I couldn't self analize
Let me summarize: Say what you mean, just don't say it mean.
Laura Tlc, "What the heck d-ya mean? " Jerry Lundegard
i did that all my life, didnt work. cause most people dont care about my intentions, and the exact words im saying, only about their assumptions of it.
EXACTLY!
Laura Tlc, he says to offend people. I disagree. I think its important to say it with compassion.
Laura Tlc be honest to your feelings and express it. Also calibrate when you’re being honest cuz too much honesty is bad and too little is bad too.
Commenting before watching the video fully.
I think it is okay to lose things while being honest. Honesty will replace people that is attracted to your true self and change your true self or of bad things. You will enjoy those things.
Totally enjoyed this concept which resonated within me, made me feel good, i just listened without thinking, writting it down, enjoying knowing i have just gone further than before. The Mantra was spectacular. I knew it, hahaha, Perfect. Thank you Brad Banton. I will begin my practice now knowing i have the recipe to cure restlessness & dis satisfaction.
It's amazing, all the resistance in these comments
It's Complaint Addicts everywhere! 👊
Whilst reading these comments, it occurred to me in how they did such a perfect job of being great examples of his 3 minds breakdown, by showing on what different levels (or minds sets) people were in while watching the video, and therefore what they took away from it. It also appears that honesty is really scary to many people...
I like this man’s analogies. Well job done, sir!
Being an introverted intuitive I can definitely agree thinking is messy and noticing is more important. As I tell people, "My intuition is always right, but that doesn't mean I am". I can think myself in the wrong direction or even in circles if I'm not careful about listening to my intuition; which is great at noticing.
Although I completely agree with his views on honesty I was very disappointed with the misleading title of this talk. Really has nothing to do with getting over shit to be happy which I was looking forward to hearing. Even the written description never mentions it. This seems to be more and more of a common problem with the Ted channel lately. Extremely frustrating and annoying. Do a better job with your titles Ted!!
+Lucian Z. I have gotten over more shit and am happier now than I've ever been, thanks to Radical Honesty. So yeah, nothing misleading here.
+Law Turley Thanks for replying.. I deleted my commentary, you made me realise it was a mistake. I'm glad it worked for you (the Radical Honesty approach). It certainly made things a lot better and deepened the relationship between me and my parents, released a lot of guilt and so on. But with strangers.. It's a life of doom, of everyone against you. Life is already as hard as it is, being jobless and mocked by everyone just because you believe the ''Zen"' perception of yourself being the momentary experience and not the self-created image is not making it better. And telling the truth "'helps"' the others ? Why would I give a fuck about others and make my life a misery to help them ? And I doubt Blanton is telling the truth everytime like he claims, he's certainly smart but I'm sure he's full of shit.
+Lucian Z. I really appreciate your honesty and the way you express yourself, and I imagine you feel angry and resentful about how RH hasn't had a similarly beneficial effect on your life. I'm not sure the RH always helps others (did Brad say that in this talk? I can't remember), because I think others have to be in a place to receive that kind of help for it to be helpful :P
For some it is just hurtful and confusing to hear unfiltered thoughts and feelings, and their reaction may well be anger which they express by ridiculing you. I am still in the early days of implementing RH throughout my life - outside of my immediate circle of family and friends - but I do believe I'm in the right place to accept and weather whatever comes my way in terms of negative feedback. You don't sound as if you are there yet, and I imagine that because of the way you describe RH as making your life a misery and saying everyone is against you. Maybe they're not against you Lucian, maybe they're just scared as hell of the idea that we should all put down our masks and be who we are inside.
I feel like chatting more to you about this, so please do add me as contact if you feel the same :)
Law Turley Edit: I got past my severe social anxiety phase thanks to admitting the faults I had and was embarrased of to those close around me. I admit I'm kinda ugly and socially awkward. So what ? People still kiss my ass calling me handsome and stuff even after I admitted I know and embrace the truth. I was as honest as I could at a course I'm currently participating in, and people see me as arrogant , anti social etc. I only shared my true opinions on certain topics of discussion , I wasn't criticising them personally. Imagine if I applied the technique 100%.. Bye bye job interviews, bye bye oportunities ! I think Brad Blanton is full of shit when he claims that this is the only way people ahould live. I'm interested in meeting honest people but not fat schmuck gurus to recruit me in their army, to change the world, to pay 500$ for them to see my dick and all of us laugh about it.
Sorry for the grammar mistakes, I'm from Romania. I wish you good luck on your way!
This comment is only my opinion coming from my life experience so far (i'm 21). Sorry if It offended you or anyone.
+Law Turley That's good, because I can barely afford to pay the internet anyway. For 3000$ you can learn how to say everything that comes to your mind, which is f*****g hard, when thinking about the consequences, not when applying the shit. Have a good day Law, I'll keep practicing !
0:56 bottom right, red sweater
LMAO! Nailed it, John.
Oh good lord
PEE WEE HERMAN Type
You da man
Sherb Sherb Sherb Sherb Sherb Sherb
A concrete example would have been worth its weight in gold here! A real-life example. It feels like he was saying some profound concepts but this short talk failed to bring it home, so to speak. I was so frustrated when it ended without an example.
this is the most perfect tedtalk
i've ever seen.
This makes me cry laugh, because that's my instinct and way of being. I'm the buzz kill, analyzing, criticizing family member. No one enjoys being responded to with a person's true perception. If they did, I'd be the happiest person in the world. Mind you, wording and approach with the honesty is critical, still being the reality checker isnt the job with a happy face rating. Personal option, based on personal experience. Take it how you please.
I almost gave up on this about two min in... I’m glad I didn’t. This man just explained to me why none of the approaches I have taken to calm and organize and carry out my thoughts and plans have worked. They were coming at it the wrong way. Well, I was. I have a very hard time, every single day, not living in my mind. It’s obsessive, uncontrollable, life altering and can become misery.
It’s so hard to put this into practice, what he is saying, and I wonder if other people suffer as I do or if I’m just blowing it out of proportion to myself. 😥
Whit here with you in the misery, you're not alone. In my mind all day every day. Makes it hard sometimes to interact with others, many times I have trouble sleeping because of too many thoughts. But I'm still hopeful that things can get better, trying to accept that things are the way they are now, I am the way that I am, but I don't always have to be like this. I practice all kinds of techniques, sometimes they work, other times not so much. But still hanging in there and doing my best not to over think it haha. He made some good points in his talk, hope it will be helpful for you. Don't give up hope ✨
In the same boat with you brother. I have been able to not completely destroy my cognitive space only because of the practice of meditation. Had it not been for that, I’d be so far down the rabbit hole of the stories in my mind that they would’ve had to surgically remove me from down there. So yeah, this talk makes a lot of sense and brings much insight as well.....
Listen to Paul Hedderman. He sheds light on thoughts.
Almost all of us live with this my friend. You are not alone. I recommend that you read a book on Zen Buddhism. " The ways of Zen" by Alan watts is a good one. Zen Buddhism is surprisingly similar in philosophy to this Ted talk.
Hoping ur doing okay now
A book that really helped me was: metamorphsis, the journey through. Would recommend to anyone going through a hard time!
I would have paid DOUBLE to be there in person for this talk. He’s excellent
Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now, changed my life.
I also got it on tape and listened to it until I finally learned how to stop thinking.
I've never been more productive and happier.
MrMagoo I’ve just started to listen to the audio book. I’m not sure how I’ll get on as it’s the first book I’ve listened too. Any particular parts you found helpful?
What does this book has to do with Radical Honesty in your opinion? I mean what moved you to write this in the comment section of this video?
Saul Goodman in the beginning of this video he talks about the mind and thinking and eckhart tolles books teach you how to separate from the mind and stop thinking
Absolutely enjoyed this presentation. I laughed I cried laughing so much. I watched it 3 times in a row. I love this Man! What a wonderful way in which he explained it. This guy is a must follow for my blissful ignorance. This talk will be shared among the others in my tribe. Tedx Talks are the best medicine I could ask for. Much respect an gratitude for all you'all do the make this site available for free. It's a lifeline for me. However, I would definitely take out a second mortgage to join if it was a paid subscription.
there needs to be a talk about this? oh man... i've been like this all my life.
Im really laughing at people saying "be ready for isolation,awful life etc"
if you care about what everyone thinks, then something is wrong
If you wanna live a life with fake friends,hypocrites, people that you dont really like or like you, be free, i like my "lonely" group of friends, i like being me, and i like my friends for being them. Honesty sometimes hurts, but it helps ,so much.
"be ready for isolation..."
funny that, i'm a loner by default anyway, so what?
"...,awful life etc"
an awful life doesn't come from being honest, in fact if were not honest to ourselves how could we ever acknowledge that our life is shit or that something must change
exactly xerron. thank you
+Grimstringer you got skype? I wanna be another one of your friends. I like radically honest friends.
Brian N it's Horrornick, sure, why not :D
Grimstringer Why isn't there anyone that has the same opinion as you have 🙄
So helping and I love him. So sweet, heart felt, and amazingly smart! Thank you. I will you the “I’m listening”. Cause it turned my monkey mind right off. Thank you DR B Blanton🌱❤🌱
People can't be honest. They don't even know what they are. Thus their version of honesty is always changing. Every time they think they've discovered something new about themselves their perspective changes and this results in an inconsistency in their beliefs and their actions. Given the same neurochemistry, DNA, conditioning, environment, family influences, anyone could be one of the very people they often demonize. People are more or less products of society. Without the information put into you by society you'd have no way of contemplating anything, never mind what you are, who you are, and whether or not you're honest or not.
When you start being honest with yourself you will definitely find out who you are. We are all just silly human beings and we make many mistakes during our life. And you will also realize that it's actually mistakes that make us learn and will therefore help us grow. You will start taking yourself less seriously when you find out who you are through honesty.
Honesty is the best way to tear down the walls of our ego-construct and it will help us see more clearly who we are. It's actually the best way to be in an ever changing world.
@@Benny_000 The "you" that you seem to know and experience as yourself is a pseudo self, a lesser or secondary self. That so-called self is what you would call the "ego." As there can be but one now, one reality, one all, one infinity, there can be but one SELF, the one that actually is present here, now. Of course, only if one is ruthlessly honest is this clear. Certainly, life is honest with itself. The term "human being" is an oxymoron. The entirety of the purported human experience takes place in time that is never present, never being. Go ahead and try to capture the present in the context of time. Time only deals with what is not anymore or what is not yet. This means time is a field of not, it does not really exist. If one is going to speak on what is real, true, valid, then one must start with that which IS. The word is means, exist, have being. If time never stops to "be" how can there be an entity called a human being within the context of that which is non-being? Can you be honest? Life is now, so only now is alive. Now is not a time, in time, nor a product of time. Time seems to pretend there's a point when it is not now. When is that? Never!
@@ferdinandalexander8053 The speaker is proposing think less and notice more, and just do our best in reporting what we notice honestly. That is it.
@@junxu7588 What you "think" you notice "honestly." What he is proposing is rooted in thought itself. Even who or what you think you are is rooted in thought.
This is my favorite Ted talk next to Reggie watts. Even at a million views, severely underrated
That´s because we dont give a f*** about his ted talk.
GREAT !!!! and I loved the three-minute path to enlightenment
This man is awesome and amazing 🥰. Such a good statement ❤
*Noticing involves all the senses.* I can notice that I have particular thoughts or that I am lying to someone. I can notice how that feels in my body, and then I must make a decision (choose a thought) about what I will do next. I do not believe that we can truly separate our thoughts from our emotions and sensations since they impact each other. If I notice that I am nervous or afraid, that too, comes from a thought - regardless from what part of our mind that comes: the thought is "I am in danger or under threat." I believe it is also critical to consider neuroscience here as well as psychology. A deficit in a particular neurotransmitter will also cause particular emotions, thoughts, desires and sensations such as anxiety, crying, cravings, and so forth. These deficiencies might be the result of a lack of nutrients, stress, chronic stress, alcohol, insomnia, and so forth. Look up the work of Julia Ross.
*Noticing can also be deceiving.* I notice that I am experiencing anxiety in my body as a figure of authority speaks to me. Does that imply that he/she is wrong or bad? Does that imply that I should resent them when in fact, only when I choose to analyze my bodily sensations (via thought) am I able to understand that this visceral response is the result of trauma or my thought "This person reminds me of my abusive father" even if they have done nothing wrong.
*We also lie to maintain social relations, and because we need connections with other people; we need to belong and be accepted to a healthy extent.* Yes, children state what they feel often without filters but those same children learn to lie not because they saw their parents do it, but rather because they learned that to get what they want and to avoid getting in trouble (which would result in pain, punishment, disconnection or lack of love) they needed to lie. That is the way we all learn to lie, I believe! Finally, while lying might relieve us it is not always in the best interests of the other person or the relationship with the other person. I teach it is best to speak your truth with compassion but it is also critical to pause and ask yourself "Is what I am about to say in the best and highest interests of both of us. Many years ago, my mother said to me, "You think I am an awful mother, too, don't you?" I replied, No. Mom. I don't think that at all." It would not have helped my mother to reveal my own issues with her - she was not able to receive that since she already suffered from deep self-loathing. I do not in any way regret having lied or withheld the truth from her. And I am glad that I told her "I love you, mom!" versus ranting about her failings. Instead, I chose to do my own inner work to deal with my own resentments towards her rather than hurling them at her. *I am at peace. Radical honesty applied to me being honest with myself, not with her.*
*Finally, I do not believe in absolutism.* Radical honesty may work in some settings and some relationships, but not all, and no, telling someone the reasons you resent them in person will not result in peace all around after 90 seconds as the speaker Blanton suggests. That is falsely based on the presumption that we are all the same, at the same level in maturity, emotional intelligence, personal accountability and free of all of our insecurities and trauma.
Easily one of the greatest talks ever. If you disagree with that, your lying.
rocket man you’re
@@Bogeyman19DidNotScareMyAss sorry you had such a hard time comprehending my comment.. should I correct the spelling, just for you? Just so you'll be satisfied with yourself?
love this talk¡ I need to watch it again from time to time.
7:50. I was on sick leave for 40 days, I had extremely stressful situations at home, I got anxiety and insomnia over it. I lost 17 lbs, and looked sick. I was supposed to return to work or retire. ( I NEVER WANTED TO EVER RETIRE).. I put on my uniform and looked into the mirror,.. and I totally FREEKED OUT!!... I was home alone.. my 1st thought was " I CAN'T GO BACK TO WORK LIKE THIS "!!... I called and retired. I had a breakdown and was hospitalized. I couldn't believe what I had done.!!! I wasn't able to return... and went into depression!, and horrible regret. My minds betrayed me by the look in the mirror! I didn't have to retire myself!, I could have took more leave without pay. The Stressed brain with insomnia couldn't think on the positive situation and thought only negative outcomes. It has ruined my life.. I haven't recovered from this traumatic mistake. I lost interest in life... don't go anywhere or do anything... im actually in stuck mode.., like shock!.. I don't leave the apt anymore also...
What happened to me.??
Why did I freak out so bad? Why did I retire myself! ( knowing I never ever wanted that)
Why now, am I in denial and still cannot believe this happened. My life is in stuck mode! Unable to let go and move on. It's been 4 months 5 days... will I ever Snap out?.. and accept?... 🙏
Children learn the skills of diplomacy after their innate honesty gets beaten out of them. That's evolution baby.
Is it evolution or devolution?
That's slavery not diplomacy
So weird. My radical honesty got me into big trouble and now my friend hates me for it and is doing everything she can to deny reality and come up with ways to “disprove” the truth. It’s so hard for us humans to be honest with ourselves and be ok with not being perfect. Just admit your flaws, then work on doing better.
Pursuing, upholding, and defending truth is more important than any of us individually. If we don't protect honesty then our systems break down, or the bad versions of them grow. Individuals rely on our systems of individuals, so we have to think of all the people we're connected to if we lie or are honest and what those two do to the whole.
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but she was never friends with you, only the person you pretended to be.
And I agree, it is hard but nothing of value in this life comes easily. Finding meaning and a deep sense of connection can be the most difficult thing to achieve. Not money, nor fame, nor the most amazing body can ever replace the work that one must do to feel deeply connected to one's self or another.
Ive just discovered RH and I am fascinated. I want to be radically honest. I want to be with radically honest people. I HATE bs and it abounds everywhere.
Thank you so much amazingness all I can feel is thank you so much gratitude.
We need more "greats" like this!!! Wow! Thank you!
I went to a workshop last week. For me, this is the best thing that one can do if one looks for Self-expression. I've done a lot of workshops and this one is the top. We, people, connect mostly through language, so the way one interacts with others largely depends on the quality of sharing. One can test it himself/herself and have his own conclusions after that. The energy that one gets with honest communication is quite high. Still, a workshop helps a lot to get the nitty gritty part. It could become too theoretical just by watching this clip. I love it so I am going to keep going. I have better relationships with most of my relatives. For the others, it's just not happening. It gives me great relief to realize that is something they have chosen since I gave my best to connect. One can't change others but can change himself. Thanks Brad Blanton.
Have you had radical honesty returned by your relatives for eg? If so, did that feel as good?
Hei, yes... Actually, they told me things I never knew so with all the people around me the connection deepened even more. I want to hear the truth actually. There is something in being honest. Overall the level of satisfaction is a lot more since I don't have the thoughts of hiding. My mom is still worried as usual but I am not that much. It's a great way to try it out. It's just a different way of living. I see it's not for everyone. And it's fine. Don't know if I answered your question...
@@thefeelingmethod Yes you did. Thanks for your answer. My thought was that we only hear about the benefits of BEING radically honest and little about the effects of RECEIVING it.
@@toomuchinformation Yes, I get you. Good perspective.
Awesome talk! Thanks Brad :) I love your book too
Good talk. I hate that total honesty is seen as radical, but I wish more people would do it.
This dude is right on! 5 stars
it's like everybody knows honesty but only few really practicing it in to reality like this guy... everybody else in the world is dishonest, including me... honesty can really really put our lives in a simple and easy way....
this guy just blew my maaaand
all three of them?
lol
matthmatthmatth Lmfao
That cracked me up
This guy has one of those voices that lulls you into a sense of false security with its velvety soft southern accent then rips it away hilariously when he curses.
Dude sounds like an elder Matthew McConehey
Lol yes
Gotta keep livin. L I V I N
Cannot unhear it now
Damned sure speaks fluent Southernese
I love his casual use of profanity. He reminds me of my favorite teacher and my favorite boss.
I appreciated his cas profanity as well. I'm surprised TH-cam hasn't word-nazied this off the planet Earth.
Thanks for the presentation.
People are scared to be really honest. I am practicing this in my life and it’s amazing. Honesty has been great in clarifying the distortions. And I love that this life is full of troubles. What kind of trouble do you want to be in. Telling the truth is the best trouble to be in. 😂 😆 😝
Thank you for the advice.
Hahaha! "What's the best kind of trouble?" Better to be honest and be in trouble with somebody else than to betray yourself and lie and REALLY be in trouble with you.
I recommend you offend people. Praise the Lord for this guy right here what a great talk.
This spoke to me on a huge level.
I'm an INTP, and radical honesty is the fundamental cornerstone of my personality. I can tell you from a lifetime of experiences being completely honest, that this is NOT always the correct course of action. An early example being a teacher that asks you why you weren't in class. If you tell her the truth, that you skipped because you simply didn't want to go, you will suffer consequences. Although I'd proven my penchant for honesty, she lost her trust in me. Are you prepared to suffer real consequences for your actions?
Another, and more disastrous outcome, involves the consequences you'll suffer when revealing truths to the people that you love. You may be prepared to suffer the consequences of their disappointment and/or scorn, but are THEY prepared to handle it? In this instance, your pursuit of radical honesty is a selfish act. Honesty may liberate you, but may harm those that are not yet on your plane of heightened self awareness.
Are you willing to admit to your dying mother that you're an atheist, and do not believe that her death will take her somewhere you'll be able to see her again? My atheism was called out on her deathbed, and I regret my stoic faith in radical honesty in that instance. It would have been kinder to allow the dying woman before me, my own mother, the solace that I believed what she believed. That she wasn't really leaving existence forever, and we'd see each other again.
In a perfect world, everyone would appreciate, respect, and accept radical honesty. The truth is that this isn't a perfect world, and the vast majority of people will revile and reject it. This isn't to say that you should lie about things that will have a genuine positive impact on the world regardless of how it will affect you (whistleblowing, or standing up to an employer that takes advantage of their employees, for instance). Learn to recognize when honesty is a selfish act that only benefits yourself, and when it will do real harm to those unprepared for it.
You still have learning to do, I appreciate your honesty and I am always learning as well. I'm just curious being honest and excepting others differences should go hand in hand, respecting them as well. Love is the most powerful gift.
@@angelajohnson1902 I'm 38, I've done plenty of learning. I think you misunderstand what I'm saying. I understand and accept others because I understand and accept myself so freely. The problem is that others aren't always on the same level of self-acceptance, and they're unable to be thankful for, or process, the unadulterated truths about themselves. Sometimes it's a kindness to refrain from complete, blunt honesty, even when it goes against your own values.
Are you an honest-to-God atheist?
Offer people the truth-in-love. And, please look up the major book where that comes from. 💬😊💜
I absolutely agree with so much of what I'm hearing!! Thank you!
Awesome Mr Brad...just awesome! Thank you 😊
Excellent Ted talk...so full of wisdom
Fosterliberty lol. Yeah let's just rub each others egos till we all don't even know what's true and what's not. Who gives a fuck about having a huge social network. Being honest to yourself and those around you is more rewarding than having 10,000 "friends". I say, if you have to lie to your friends or stretch the truth, they aren't real friends.
noddy3007 have you ever noticed that some of the biggest aholes have the biggest friends list?
I took a quote from kristen Bell, She shared her therapist advice. Her therapist, stated, "honesty without tact, is cruelty".
She did not doin that. And also she misquoted. The quote is honesty without compassion.
@@missygoldstein12 ....this is not English
Such a hard audience ... but I get it , we all made so many negative experiences by truly speaking our minds that it’s like : yeah dude go on. But he is so right, with his thoughts!
His book “Radical Honesty” changed my life
I needed this today 💕
Loved this!
The one thing that kinda hit me about this was just not thinking and feeling things out, i think that went over most peoples heads but being me, i think too much about social interactions and that stops me from having them at all
Wow. So many of you are saying such mean things about this kind man who genuinely believes he's on to something good and is trying to share it with people. Will it work for all listeners? Of course not. But it might work for some. We're all wired differently. I'm sure for some not telling the truth all their lives has caused untold amounts of pain for them. Maybe i5s their BIG THING. Maybe they haven't even realized it until this lecture and they walk away better people for the experience. I happen to be one of those who blurts out unsavory words without giving it a second thought. Maybe this lesson isn't for me or you but I give the man credit for his kindness and his attempt to make the world a better, kinder place, unlike so many who here who have clearly gone out of their way to make this particular spot on earth a place of ridicule and judgement. Haters gonna hate no matter what. Peace.
Just what I need in my life.
Hands down the most important Ted talk. Brad Blanton, you are a hero!
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh....
True enlightenment
He's right you know!
I just can't wait to see this!!! Thank goodness October has finally arrived!!!!!
Gotta get the book. Great talk!!
You have to answer yourself at one point of time. That matters...the most! So why honesty you need.
Excellent. Thank you!!
Excellent talk
Motivational speaker 100%!
His idea is good but you have to remember this: "Absolute honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings.". I know we want the truth but unless people just get the fuck over it and move on and deal with it, we won't ever be able to be there.
Cri354 Did you just quote interstellar? :D
Yes I did, they were onto something with that quote.
Cri354 in an interview he sayd that it's critical and better to offend others by telling what is, by telling the truth, (to offend others) because only in that way you will create an intimate and profound relationship with the other person.. and you'll get over the shit together..
Vasile Surdu I used to live on a commune where we practiced radical honesty, and that was precisely the idea. It was pretty painful for the first five or six months, but when you get used to it, it opens up a whole dimension.
but we have not tried honesty, we know we are not honest and that is what we have been comfortably practicing. i would say most experiments would be suitable for africa because they are new people their society has no grid they barely know the beauty of their country while others have established such thing long ago which stands to this day. plus we have immigrant in europeans nations now lets see if the same opportunities bare significance for them as it did is and will be for us
In regard to awareness, there is at least one more type which exists than the 3 which he stated. For instance, the eve before 9/11, I know someone who spoke out and described a feeling of terror gripped them. It was extraordinary--an awareness that something was coming. As a result, this person insisted that their out of town guest go directly to the airport and get on a flight home that night. The guest managed to get on the last flight out of SFO. The rest is history. I would call this awareness premonitory. Just my 2 cents. This is an awesome video and tremendously helpful. Grateful it was posted!
Great talk!
He just described ultra instinct. Goku already taught me this.
Honesty .... joke .... so funny! Great examples of radical honesty.
Thank you.
what the hell is the guy at the front with glasses doing at 0:56? haha
Lol! Idk how you noticed that but it's so strange haha
He's a human fish
lol xD
He knows something. I do that when I'm trying not to think condescending and high minded thoughts......
It took me a while to find which one you were talking about. When I finally saw him over there in the corner, I emitted a real laugh. Thank you Jesus for thy sharp eyes.