Saying things like "the highschool-esque facade" or "elaborate scheme, ninja tricks etc" type of thing is so true, I really hope it puts thing into perspective for people lol. Because honestly, your ex's-- are people..not things to be *made* to bend to your will with cunning and tricks like.. it's not only not realistic, it's actually not right. Thank you always for your insights and honesty, while also talking about things that benefit *every person* involved, and suggesting to do what is healthy and.. right. Just morally right. You're awesome, keep it up!
Clay so good! It’s bigger then the relationship. I had no idea how codependent i was and unhappy In my life. I need to turn my life around. And that’s more important then getting my ex back. It hard but important
Listen . Do no contact immediately. Two months after my ex dumped me, she told me that if i behaved better after the break up ( no begging, no apologizing all the time, etc) we have already been back together. Now she lost all respect to me and just wants us to be friends. Biggest mistake of my life not going no contact right away. I didnt gave her the chance to miss me. I should have concentrate on my self and not in chaising her. They always come back, just stay no contact.
@SeminoleWarrior better work on those issues, and cut ties to the things that led you down that path. New hobbies, a better environment, go for a higher position in work that requires you to become better at communicating.
No contact do not work! Don't be fooled! I went through it with a two different relationships, situationships. I have been in no contact for months or even years. That's a waste of time if you count they will be back. Because they don't
The problem is that all of my exes are either Dismissive Avoidant or Fearful Avoidant attachment styles, pathological narcissists, or both- and the abject cruelty of the way they end the relationship is an absolute dealbreaker to my ever letting them into my life again, no matter how good the rest of it might have been or how sorry they may claim to be. My second problem with this type of coaching is that it constantly tells the discarded partner to suppress their own needs to express our justified hurt and anger at the way we were dumped; along with our justified demand for amends and reparations for harms done. Every one of your videos that I've listened to keeps telling the dumpee to shove that all under the rug, then when the ex comes back, "don't act mad at them because they might have a feeling they don't like and go away again." Um, what right does that person have to comfort or convenience after what they did? Why should it be considered normal for them not to have to suffer pain or face any consequences for their actions, and why should we not get to require that they make it right? It's been very useful listening to these and going No Contact, because as I've done so I've realized what I'm simply not going to put up with, and if getting an ex back means having to accept the treatment I got on their way out and act like it never happened, no ex is worth that.
Thank you Clay! I'm on my way to the Gym now 🙃 I'm slowly healing by listening all your videos!! More blessings to you and your family and more power to your TH-cam channel🙏 you are an inspiration!
If you ex is behaving in such a way to maintain control of the decision that they have made, then you cannot communicate with them. If your ex chooses ‘high schoolish’ behavior, then you have to back off and everything that you do is perceived as transparent with the goal of getting back together. So there can be positive results from some other actions proposed by others.
We travelled the world for 8 years before this COVID bullshit She left 6 months ago, I’m living a creative, healthy, passionate life now With or without her Women will always be interested if you live from your passions
My husband who left 3 months ago moved on after 6 weeks, living with her and is now demanding to introduce the children to his girlfriend who he says he is planning a future with and it's the real thing. I'm thinking I've got no chance of a reconciliation at all now. Broken.
I feel your pain. My ex fiancé of 8 years was with another guy a week after she moved out. I wanted the brake up but that hurt. It sealed it for me though. Never going back. This video just happened to pop up. We are not alone in going through this but it still sucks.
Girl I promise you it’s not a done deal. I’ve been through this same situation and I KNOW it seems like the end of the world but they’ll break up WATCH. Just hang tight.
Sounds like something clay talks about in other videos called psychological displacement, trying to play catch up to where the previous relationship was. This is a very visible sign that with enough patience and improvement, you may have the upper hand
My ex said with growth and letting the relationship grow well see but she also said the same thing she wants to be friends for right now. She literally doesn't talk to anyone except these 2 close friend girls... She doesn't even reach out.. but when I reach out to ask if we're friends and everything is ok she says yes we're friends.. and then I asked her is it just at the moment you don't wanna hangout because we haven't been hanging out, and she's like it's just at the moment I don't want to. I got concerned because she wouldn't reach out and she hasn't been wanting to hangout.. but she says it's at the moment she's doesn't want to and it's been like almost 3 months. She always responds so that a good thing
New to your channel.... I’ve upgraded my life joined the military and started a non profit and all my exes are back. The problem is while I was growing the through the hurt I’ve built up a wall so high I’m afraid to let anyone in. Do you have a video on that?
I noticed that you are guarding yourself from the possible hurt and other negative experiences that a relationship may bring. It sounds like a limiting belief that you may have to work on. We cover that topics inside the Emotional Freedom course. :-)
Great video. How or why should I change, if the sole reason my almost girlfriend stopped dating me, is that my sister's friend was in the city and I let her stay at my and my sister's place and showed her the city without any flirtatious intension, but also without my sister accompany us? My almost girlfriend was also upset that I told her just 2 days before that friend arrived.
Getting back someone who you dumped is far easier than everyone else in this channel. Just initiate contact with the dumpee, be direct and open, do not play mind games. Unless if the dumpee has moved on. You need more work. But still the work is easier than getting back a dumper.
Varmika yes it is just as difficult for the dumper in the fact that yes you can just initiate the first contact and apologize......from that point on you need to wait for the other person to sort of et you know slowly if the interest is there, but first, that person needs to heal....so....remember that when you try to speed up stuff. Also try not to talk about the break up right away...just make contact, meet up, spend time together at first...then in a week or so....explain yourself...and set some clarification...without using words that may hurt your love ones...try not to mess up
My ex broke up with me after 13 years in the 3 months after ive been thruogh every emotion shes pulled and torn me down in all ways sleeping with me then telling me to go talking about other men infront of me multiple times sayin all sorts of hurtful things her excuse well I'm single now i can do what i want and me been so in love with her still sat there and took all this emotional abuse so one night i was there and pretended to be on the phone to my friend and him saying a girl was interested in me she heard what i wanted her t hear and she hit the roof and told me to leave and never speak to her again funny that isn't it even tho on the pretend phone call i made it clear i wasn't interested in the slightest her reaction was anger and she turned cold straight away after all the shit i had to listen too we where trying to be friends but even though she knew it upset me she still found every opportunity to rub this in my face soon as i said one thing not even close to her bullshit she flipped and kicked me away she wanted her cake i think after this i am 100% out and away as hard as it is i cant do it anymore i have no fight left in me the rejection and disrespect even tho she knew it was hurting me was a sign of the women she really is a selfish nasty person
Hi Clay! My husband and I have been seperated for 11 months. We talk and sometimes go eat together. I know that's wrong. So this is complicated but we just talk because we are being nice with each other and continue to communicate we have bills together. Prayer of course has helped very much!. But I want him to come home now. I want him to chase me and look for me so he can come home.. so what am I doing wrong? I really don't tell him to much about me. He ask to aks what I'm doing or where I'm at.. I trying not to be available to him.. he'll look for me and text me. I rarely call him. So what is my next step?
HI Martha, Continue to work on building positive connection with him. Remember that getting back together is a process that you and him has to go through. Have you checked our Connect and Commit program? It might be helpful on your journey. :-)
My ex was super jealous whenever a girl would like my pic or even look in my direction… a mutual friend revealed that her new boyfriend (it's only been 2 months since our breakup) is adding local single girls he doesn't even know, as well as local prostitutes (yes, you read that correctly... prostitutes) to his Facebook, and she doesn't care at all… Why the difference?
@@thediso4a4t56 pretty sure my ex has borderline personality disorder. The things she did to me while we were in a relationship is supposedly common for those with BPD. Oh well, good riddance to her.
i refuse to get in shape for my ex for 2 years if we get back together. when she dumped me, she went for a rebound relationship to this loser guy and she gave him the world. and i mean the world. she would doll up so much to the point where it looked like she was modeling for forever 21 or victoria secret or what have you. just this outstanding beauty, and she would post so many pictures of herself and her rebound on facebook, and she never did that for me. and he's a goofy chubby guy who lives with his mom. so yeah, When we get back together, i absolutely expect her to doll up and post excessive amounts of dolled up pictures of her on social media while i neglect my physical physique for 2 years, and then i will put on mass for her. But she has to give me what she gave him first before i put that kind of effort back. i expect the same energy that she gave her rebound regardless how long it's been. if she wants me to provide a roof over her head, she will, at the very least, give me the same energy as her rebound.
Saying things like "the highschool-esque facade" or "elaborate scheme, ninja tricks etc" type of thing is so true, I really hope it puts thing into perspective for people lol. Because honestly, your ex's-- are people..not things to be *made* to bend to your will with cunning and tricks like.. it's not only not realistic, it's actually not right. Thank you always for your insights and honesty, while also talking about things that benefit *every person* involved, and suggesting to do what is healthy and.. right. Just morally right. You're awesome, keep it up!
Clay so good! It’s bigger then the relationship. I had no idea how codependent i was and unhappy In my life. I need to turn my life around. And that’s more important then getting my ex back. It hard but important
Listen . Do no contact immediately. Two months after my ex dumped me, she told me that if i behaved better after the break up ( no begging, no apologizing all the time, etc) we have already been back together. Now she lost all respect to me and just wants us to be friends. Biggest mistake of my life not going no contact right away. I didnt gave her the chance to miss me. I should have concentrate on my self and not in chaising her. They always come back, just stay no contact.
How long was you with her? How long did you beg for? What’s your situation now with and without her?
I doubt mines coming back. Did some stupid stuff in the end
@SeminoleWarrior better work on those issues, and cut ties to the things that led you down that path. New hobbies, a better environment, go for a higher position in work that requires you to become better at communicating.
No contact do not work!
Don't be fooled!
I went through it with a two different relationships, situationships.
I have been in no contact for months or even years. That's a waste of time if you count they will be back. Because they don't
@@Photo-ms1mo It depends on your situation with your Ex's. My Ex's do come back few times. So Ex's do come back with some people.
The videos are so genuine, I don't understand why there are not like million views!
That's totally fine, what is important is that viewers are realizing the value of each video. :-)
He’s kinda new, but he’s great, authentic and likeable.
The problem is that all of my exes are either Dismissive Avoidant or Fearful Avoidant attachment styles, pathological narcissists, or both- and the abject cruelty of the way they end the relationship is an absolute dealbreaker to my ever letting them into my life again, no matter how good the rest of it might have been or how sorry they may claim to be. My second problem with this type of coaching is that it constantly tells the discarded partner to suppress their own needs to express our justified hurt and anger at the way we were dumped; along with our justified demand for amends and reparations for harms done. Every one of your videos that I've listened to keeps telling the dumpee to shove that all under the rug, then when the ex comes back, "don't act mad at them because they might have a feeling they don't like and go away again." Um, what right does that person have to comfort or convenience after what they did? Why should it be considered normal for them not to have to suffer pain or face any consequences for their actions, and why should we not get to require that they make it right? It's been very useful listening to these and going No Contact, because as I've done so I've realized what I'm simply not going to put up with, and if getting an ex back means having to accept the treatment I got on their way out and act like it never happened, no ex is worth that.
I need to get to this point 💯😑
Thank you Clay! I'm on my way to the Gym now 🙃 I'm slowly healing by listening all your videos!! More blessings to you and your family and more power to your TH-cam channel🙏 you are an inspiration!
You're welcome, Rhea. We truly appreciate your nice words. :-)
If you ex is behaving in such a way to maintain control of the decision that they have made, then you cannot communicate with them. If your ex chooses ‘high schoolish’ behavior, then you have to back off and everything that you do is perceived as transparent with the goal of getting back together. So there can be positive results from some other actions proposed by others.
+2347013697836
Thanks for the non-high school advice.
We travelled the world for 8 years before this COVID bullshit
She left 6 months ago,
I’m living a creative, healthy, passionate life now
With or without her
Women will always be interested if you live from your passions
My husband who left 3 months ago moved on after 6 weeks, living with her and is now demanding to introduce the children to his girlfriend who he says he is planning a future with and it's the real thing. I'm thinking I've got no chance of a reconciliation at all now. Broken.
Ouch I’m sorry to hear that
I feel your pain. My ex fiancé of 8 years was with another guy a week after she moved out. I wanted the brake up but that hurt. It sealed it for me though. Never going back. This video just happened to pop up. We are not alone in going through this but it still sucks.
Girl I promise you it’s not a done deal. I’ve been through this same situation and I KNOW it seems like the end of the world but they’ll break up WATCH. Just hang tight.
Sounds like something clay talks about in other videos called psychological displacement, trying to play catch up to where the previous relationship was. This is a very visible sign that with enough patience and improvement, you may have the upper hand
The best advice on TH-cam
Thanks for the compliment. We truly appreciate that.
No contact doesn’t work for all, in my case the ex wanted to be friends and work on things
My ex said with growth and letting the relationship grow well see but she also said the same thing she wants to be friends for right now. She literally doesn't talk to anyone except these 2 close friend girls... She doesn't even reach out.. but when I reach out to ask if we're friends and everything is ok she says yes we're friends.. and then I asked her is it just at the moment you don't wanna hangout because we haven't been hanging out, and she's like it's just at the moment I don't want to. I got concerned because she wouldn't reach out and she hasn't been wanting to hangout.. but she says it's at the moment she's doesn't want to and it's been like almost 3 months. She always responds so that a good thing
New to your channel.... I’ve upgraded my life joined the military and started a non profit and all my exes are back. The problem is while I was growing the through the hurt I’ve built up a wall so high I’m afraid to let anyone in. Do you have a video on that?
I noticed that you are guarding yourself from the possible hurt and other negative experiences that a relationship may bring. It sounds like a limiting belief that you may have to work on. We cover that topics inside the Emotional Freedom course. :-)
I like your way of thinking so much. Thank you for making those videos
You are genuine real in a world of b... s...! Thanks for sharing wisdom and lived life.
Thank you clay , and your videos are on point! Glad I'll be working with you soon
You're welcome, Andrew. :-)
Thank you for being so honest and genuine. Great videos.
Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your ex back to you????
Watzap him now for help........
+2=3=4=8=0=8=4=0=2=3=9=5=5
+2:3:4:8:0:8:4:0:2:3:9:5:5
can't even established contact.... with someone who doesn't reply.
Thanks for your efforts,it was great!
Glad you liked it!
Thanks Clay! Needed this!
Happy to help!
Great video.
How or why should I change, if the sole reason my almost girlfriend stopped dating me, is that my sister's friend was in the city and I let her stay at my and my sister's place and showed her the city without any flirtatious intension, but also without my sister accompany us?
My almost girlfriend was also upset that I told her just 2 days before that friend arrived.
My ex discouraged my civic involvements when we were together. Hmmm.
And we met in medical school.
What if he won’t talk to you
Does this still work if your ex girlfriend is in a recent rebound relationship
Your channel is extremely informative but it lacks this topic “How do you get your ex back when you were the one who dumped him?!?!???!!!”
Getting back someone who you dumped is far easier than everyone else in this channel. Just initiate contact with the dumpee, be direct and open, do not play mind games. Unless if the dumpee has moved on. You need more work. But still the work is easier than getting back a dumper.
Varmika yes it is just as difficult for the dumper in the fact that yes you can just initiate the first contact and apologize......from that point on you need to wait for the other person to sort of et you know slowly if the interest is there, but first, that person needs to heal....so....remember that when you try to speed up stuff. Also try not to talk about the break up right away...just make contact, meet up, spend time together at first...then in a week or so....explain yourself...and set some clarification...without using words that may hurt your love ones...try not to mess up
minute 11:10 of this video address your concern
My ex broke up with me after 13 years in the 3 months after ive been thruogh every emotion shes pulled and torn me down in all ways sleeping with me then telling me to go talking about other men infront of me multiple times sayin all sorts of hurtful things her excuse well I'm single now i can do what i want and me been so in love with her still sat there and took all this emotional abuse so one night i was there and pretended to be on the phone to my friend and him saying a girl was interested in me she heard what i wanted her t hear and she hit the roof and told me to leave and never speak to her again funny that isn't it even tho on the pretend phone call i made it clear i wasn't interested in the slightest her reaction was anger and she turned cold straight away after all the shit i had to listen too we where trying to be friends but even though she knew it upset me she still found every opportunity to rub this in my face soon as i said one thing not even close to her bullshit she flipped and kicked me away she wanted her cake i think after this i am 100% out and away as hard as it is i cant do it anymore i have no fight left in me the rejection and disrespect even tho she knew it was hurting me was a sign of the women she really is a selfish nasty person
My ex still talks to me still but we talk then don't then talk again
It's totally normal to have peaks and lows in in interaction. That is where the Advanced Relational Skills would come in, especially acceptance.
Ex and I are best friends now after much heartbreak, but he has told me we are never trying again as he can't risk losing my friendship.
I don’t think it’s good if anyone is a traveler (by plane) in this day and age, like global warming is not as great as some people might think 🤔😬
Hi Clay! My husband and I have been seperated for 11 months. We talk and sometimes go eat together. I know that's wrong. So this is complicated but we just talk because we are being nice with each other and continue to communicate we have bills together. Prayer of course has helped very much!. But I want him to come home now. I want him to chase me and look for me so he can come home.. so what am I doing wrong? I really don't tell him to much about me. He ask to aks what I'm doing or where I'm at.. I trying not to be available to him.. he'll look for me and text me. I rarely call him. So what is my next step?
HI Martha, Continue to work on building positive connection with him. Remember that getting back together is a process that you and him has to go through. Have you checked our Connect and Commit program? It might be helpful on your journey. :-)
My ex was super jealous whenever a girl would like my pic or even look in my direction… a mutual friend revealed that her new boyfriend (it's only been 2 months since our breakup) is adding local single girls he doesn't even know, as well as local prostitutes (yes, you read that correctly... prostitutes) to his Facebook, and she doesn't care at all… Why the difference?
Same issue with me , still being jealous on me however she got a new dude . and this is confusing as hell .....
@@thediso4a4t56 pretty sure my ex has borderline personality disorder. The things she did to me while we were in a relationship is supposedly common for those with BPD. Oh well, good riddance to her.
She cared about you, he's just a rebound would be my guess.
@@susancovey1168 exactly!
I’m ghosting my ex-girlfriend Tracci Ludwick right now.
A video to say what he's looking for, and to sell his courses 🙄
i refuse to get in shape for my ex for 2 years if we get back together. when she dumped me, she went for a rebound relationship to this loser guy and she gave him the world. and i mean the world. she would doll up so much to the point where it looked like she was modeling for forever 21 or victoria secret or what have you. just this outstanding beauty, and she would post so many pictures of herself and her rebound on facebook, and she never did that for me. and he's a goofy chubby guy who lives with his mom.
so yeah, When we get back together, i absolutely expect her to doll up and post excessive amounts of dolled up pictures of her on social media while i neglect my physical physique for 2 years, and then i will put on mass for her. But she has to give me what she gave him first before i put that kind of effort back. i expect the same energy that she gave her rebound regardless how long it's been. if she wants me to provide a roof over her head, she will, at the very least, give me the same energy as her rebound.