The Uncomfortable Truth About Getting Your Ex Back
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ส.ค. 2021
- The Uncomfortable Truth About Getting Your Ex Back
The Uncomfortable Truth About Getting Your Ex Back
modernlove.life/coaching
In this episode, Clay Andrews talks about THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH ABOUT GETTING YOUR EX BACK.
TIME STAMPS
00:35 Getting Back Together with Your Ex is hard
04:13 Getting Your Ex Back will be difficult
08:00 You Will Have to do things differently to get your ex back
As much as we'd
==========================
Work with me:
Connect and Commit: www.modernlove.life/cc
What to say to turn potentially devastating situations with your ex into opportunities for connection
Ex Solution Program: modernlove.life/esp
Navigate your ex’s emotional world to build a stronger connection and inspire commitment for lasting love
Effortless Connection: modernlove.life/ec
Build the foundation for a strong relationship with more cooperation, connection, and consistency.
Emotional Freedom (Formerly "Compatibility Code"): modernlove.life/ef
Overcome the pain of your breakup to build a new possibility for love with your ex or with someone new
Authentic Dating: www.modernlove.life/ad
Successfully find a new, thriving relationship with your dream partner in 5 first dates or less.
Unstuck Coaching: modernlove.life/coaching
Work with us to develop a custom solution for your current situation or block
Commit Group Coaching: www.modernlove.life/quiz
Apply for our 6 month premium coaching program to get you into a thriving commited relationship where you can be loved for who you are.
==========================
Follow me:
Email newsletter: modernlove.life/newsletter/
TH-cam Subscribe: th-cam.com/users/Relation...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/Clay-Andrews/e...
Facebook: / 2869492189947383
iTunes Podcast: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/c...
==========================
Clay Andrews reveals the uncomfortable truth about getting your ex back in this video.
After helping people with breakups and getting back together for over a decade, there are a few surprising things that we have discovered about saving your relationship that a lot of people may not initially know.
For starters, getting back together is probably going to take longer than you’d like.
There are a lot of people out there that will promise you the world… that some obscure text message or reverse psychology hack will make your ex want you back in only a few days.
However, that’s unrealistic.
The truth is that getting back together will probably take at least a few months.
The second thing is that getting back together is going to be difficult. Maybe one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done.
There are going to be some intense emotional swings. And it’s important to know this ahead of time so that you can have a gut check with yourself to see if this is really something that you want to do or not.
What have you learned about this whole process of getting back together on your journey? Please share your experiences below.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
![คุณอาเรียโต๊ะข้างๆ พูดรัสเซียหวานใส่ซะหัวใจจะวาย ตอนที่ 2 [ซับไทย] 【Ani-One Thailand】](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kbbfYakMY8k/mqdefault.jpg)
![[EP.01] ดูฟรึตอนแรก LOL: Last One Laughing Thailand Thailand หัวเราะทีหลังปังกว่า | Prime Thailand](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/t4KunBRKn3s/mqdefault.jpg)
The highs and lows are terrible. The uncertainty and the doubt is soul-crushing. It feels even worse when the connection is good.
This is so spot on. The highs and the lows of the journey are going to test a person. The growth that comes with genuine self analysis makes the whole thing seem like it was meant to be. The relationship to be gained on the other side of this is the relationship you've always wanted. A person will walk through fire and purify themselves if the love is real.
Lord this is so painful for me right now .. breakup last Sunday just spent the night together last night now I’m back to having to die inside all over again
Nicely put Chris!
I like that. Gotta make them walk through fire if they want you back.
@@tonileolion9702 I've been there. It resets the pain when they come close and then pull away again. What helped me is keeping myself as detached as she was. I stopped having expectations, and with time the emotional playing field was even. I was no longer the person chasing and hoping, but it took time.
@@ClayAndrews your videos are awesome. You're very good at what you do. Thank you so much
Took me 12 months listening to yourself and Coach Lee. After 12 months and alot of self effort finally back in love with the girl of my dreams and hope not to make the same mistakes again . Love Conquers All..... so sometimes with or without effort....fate and Karma can also play a massive part .
Thank you very much 😊
How did you do it?
I’m glad that he pointed out that it’s going to be hard because most people need to get out of their comfort zone and really need to challenge themselves even if they don’t get back with their ex
Absolutely worth it! Anything worth doing is never easy as they say.
The hot and cold is the worst!! 🤦🏽♂️
Awesome video clay
This! Thank you so much for your insight.
This one was perfect clay. I’m going through a lot of what you just spoke about. I’ve been coming into our interactions with positive vibes and great energy because she is the woman I truly believe I’m suppose to be with and I honestly love her but like you said the ups and downs are killing me. We have 4 kids together and everything but when I find out or found out that she was still involved with her rebound relationship which ended terribly I start to feel really stupid for wearing my heart on my sleeve and fighting for our relationship. Most of the time it feels as if I’m the only one that wants this to work but at some point when I distance myself in order to heal my broken heart that’s when she comes back breadcrumbing me and I fall for it ever single time.
Right now I am only 12 days into my breakup and hopefully I can get her back. I know in my heart I truly love her and she does seem interested in seeing if I do actually improve and become better. Her exes never made an effort to realize their downfalls and try to be better so I think I have that going for me the fact I am dedicated to trying to fight for something instead of giving up like all who came before me. Least that's what I know of her long-term exes short term flings are whatever but the ones that lasted when they failed those guys just delved deeper into what made it fail or became so angry she gave up entirely. As far as I am aware I am the first to apologize and attempt to fix what went wrong. I dunno if it gives me any good chances I hope it does but it has to count for something I would think. In any case Clay you have been a great help your videos fill me with some sort of hope I can either get her back or at the very least be better prepared for whomever may come next. For now I think my best bet is just trying to get my own life together and getting to a place where if we do reconnect in the future I'm 100 times the man she once fell in love with it's all I can do right now.
This video gives me hope! We have now been broken up 6 months and I felt like it was too long. Other coaches make it seem like it would take a lot shorter period of time. I’m glad that you make it seem like it’s not too late. Thanks!
Clay's definitely correct about this. My ex and I have come together and fallen apart a few times now. Currently apart, as she suddenly got married just weeks after she caught me at the end of a bad day, where my internal BS demons had a field day despite my efforts, and the interaction did not go well at all by any means. That aside, the past 2-3 years have been an emotional rollercoaster. The good news is that eventually you'll learn how to deal with those changes to some degree, once the shock wears off.
Yep, very difficult… especially when hurtful things were said post break up. Apologies were issued, but I think time and space can be the only thing to help with that.
Thanks Clay this is so true!
Glad it was helpful!
I have been watching and liking all of your videos! Thank you for your amazing info! Keep up the awesome work! You really made a difference in our lives!
I appreciate that!
I’ve been broke up for 6 months and started working on getting back together 3 months ago and we are finally on talking and meeting once a week but I am still not back at the house and no intimate contact just hugs so long way to go
Oh gosh this is so me right now. I believe it's worth it so I'm dealing with the dips. It's not easy, but I did tell myself I'm honestly putting 100% for my growth too. As I knew Rebuilding trust was/is difficult. Any guidance on that part???? I'm happy & have grown from within for myself and today I' can say inner growth & peace is awesome
Keep the faith ... good luck with everything
Clay even though it has been having less and less of an effect on me. I still appreciate the emails, and somehow I guess, she might come back, but up until that point ur emails are pretty good!
Any luck
im doing everything "legally" to just see him again. but its just not happening maybe someday ill at least get a glimpse, but we are all stuck in a circle that we cant get out of.
Hi Clay! Thanks for making this I actually appreciate it. I think the time frame is surprising. My challenge is of course long distance so I think and thank you for giving an average time frame because I feel like it is going to take forever. I somewhat have some hope all though we are currently in little to no contact and wondering what to do next. I was wondering how to start contact again since he wants to start out as friends.
Hey I’m actually going through the same thing. We’re 2 hours apart which is still long distance and that’s the only way we’ve ever known each other. She told me we need foundation and need to start as friends first before we could take any further steps. For a couple of days I tried being closer and being friends but she read through that. She saw that I wasn’t ready for a friendship. She told me she doesn’t think I will be until I can understand the importance of being friends first. A week later I talked to her telling her I’m ready and she still felt I wasn’t. We kind of got into a disagreement a few days after. She was ignoring my text and I tried talking to her about it. She got fed up on me not understanding she wanted space and I went into damage control mode sending multiple text and asking to talk it out. Next day I sent an apology text and let her know I understand her feelings. I told her I’m sorry and I’ll do my best to be better. She didn’t want to talk so I told her when she’s ready I’ll be here for her. It’s been a month of ANC now. It sucks missing her but this time apart I think is what we really needed. To work on ourselves and to take a step back before we can really start fresh.
@@Kulture2k we're only 50 minutes away. I just didnt want to be hurt if he found someone new but at the same time i dont think it would take long. he told me if time was right and things lined up he was open to a relationship again. I wish you nothing but luck
Hi there! Me and my ex in long distance broke up a few days ago and I’m concerned about things
How has it gone for you though?
I love her with all my heart and her son he loves me I will go through it all to get them back she wants to remain close friends we fault yelled it was my fault I need to show her I can give what she want show she is need and wanted
Hey clay,me and my ex we work together in a restaurant,she leaves me many times,all the time she leaves me I am the one who effects everything and now she took me granted,will it be good if I quit my job?
I've always been the one that's done the breaking up. I would never consider getting back with any of my exes, because all the breakups were well thought through. I've even remained close friends with one of them. I was recently dumped for the first time and realized how much it sucked and how badly I wanted her back, but I just don't think it's possible based on my own experience from the other side of this. I'm doing no contact, because it's the only way to stay sane enough to cope. I appreciate your videos, but also looking at how many couples I've known that have split over the years and that only one ever got back together, is this even something that's actually possible? How?
It’s possible my BFF and her bf broke up for 3 years and came back but tbh I don’t and won’t want to give it that much time
It would have to fundamentally be a different relationship. One or both people would have to change, so that they could interact better.
its possible but it takes a lot of self reflection and genuine change to change the dynamic you left behind. We've seen many couples come together and build better and stronger relationships but it relies entirely on the amount of effort you want to put in.
I'm putting in the effort clay & have been more genuinely me than ever before. Will continue to do & keep trying. Just not sure how long I should wait..it was a very dreadful breakup. It's been 2 years & communication is better today but I feel it doesn't occur frequently.
There is nothing that could get me to go back to any of the three exes I dumped.
My breakup was because he wasn't that into me. I was probably his rebound. Or he wanted to keep me around for fwb until his ex came back or until someone better came along. This has been one long dragged out Soap TV
do things differently how??
plz give us a clear conclusive recommendation... you leave is in the dark most of times.
We’ve been broken up for 3 months now, We say Goodmorning still, go out to dinner, go to the gym together, and talk on FaceTime alot. All of this is so damn confusing and hard for me. All I wanna do is tell her that I love her and wanna take the next step with her but I’m afraid it’ll break any progress we’ve made
@@bl1ndr 🤣 you’ve only commented on other peoples posts and haven’t made one yourself. The friend zone doesn’t exist when you’ve been dating for 4 years.
@@bl1ndr also if you know this already then there is no need for you to be watching these videos
How does she feel ... I was in the same boat after a week of my ex breaking up with me and I was so confused ... I lashed out and he was like that’s it no one talking and seeing each other but he didn’t understand how I was so happy but so painfully hurt at the same time ..so hard
@@tonileolion9702 sorry you went through that, we’re still talking and I’m taking her out to a Padres game pretty soon
@@GerbsInDaBuilding we r still talking too😫😫😫😫😫 but seeing each other we can do I txt here and there like just a few mins ago because we were like best friends it’s just hard to let go
Literally no one ever says broken shards of glass man..
Me and my ex broke up about 6 weeks ago. We didn’t talk after the break up for about 3 weeks after. We then went away for a few days with a group. He keeps saying he doesn’t want to be together but acts very close to me when he’s drinking. We got a lot closer in the last few days of the holiday. We were texting a lot when we came home until one night when I was out drinking with friends we started talking about it and he said “if the issues were fixable they will be the biggest mistake of me life” and “ I’ve really been questioning the reasons for breaking up” and “ I wish I tried to talk to you about the problems before I broke it off” the next day he stopped talking to me for about 4 days until I was out again and he started talking to me again and e started talking about it and he said hasn’t confused he was reflecting and he’s sticking with his decision. He said he just didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and wanted space. I decided to stop contact for a while because of hun being hot and cold and me still needing to deal with the breakup a bit more but I don’t know what I should do next
@@joeostrosky8137 nothing like that just like he’s hiding how he really feels but can’t when we’re having a few drinks
My ex broke up with me. It's been almost a year now. It's hard because we have 2 kids together. Anyway she is dating someone else, but she won't leave me alone(not because we have kids either). I don't understand why she won't just leave me alone and focus on him!! I am in love with her and would like to have my family back together ONE DAY!!
She’s using you as an emotional crutch. Only talk about the kids. Keep it short and cordial. Act like you’re not affected.
I fell in love with my fwb guy . Hee told me many times he loves me to but how can he drop me so fast when his ex came back. We have been seeing each other for 3 years. We Never argue
Hi Tammy, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. We understand that there are risks that may happen if we are FWB with a person. There's a possibility that despite the length of time, you were being rebounded. At times, being FWB, we have to be clear with our own boundaries.
Follow the New Testament parable of finding the lost coin, which involves alot of inner cleanup.
I Give Up, I Caught My Ex On The Phone Last Night Talking To Another Woman And He Stormed Out Of The Bedroom Talking About He Needed To Get Some Air, I Can’t Do This Anymore IM DONE!!
Sounds like he is done too, honey. I’m so sorry. Move forward without him to protect your peace.
Sometimes we get so down and it looks like all hope have been lost. Prostrate cancer almost ruin the life of my husband. It was a hard time for my family but thanks to a friend who directed me to a very powerful and kind man doctor IYAYA on TH-cam who helped my husband with the cure for Prostrate Cancer. he have helped so many people with cure for so many sickness and diseases thank you so much doctor IYAYA
@@MyDarlingRocsi Thank You and I Will!
I’m so so sorry I know that hurt u . I hope and pray ur doing ok
I’m trying we have been on a break for almost a month now we still talk every day and say we love each other. I just get the hot and cold treatment from her when we see each other in person and seems like everything is perfect but she just doesn’t want to see me every day anymore.
Give her space.. When you talk to her don’t talk about get back together or the break up.. Act normal!! I been in this situation for a year now.. We just started sleeping together again. But she don’t/not ready to start over 🤦🏽♂️
@@dnpaker84 how did you both come together after so many months /years off? We’re any questions asked or topics brought up from the past or clean slate like a new person relationship
I fear the most that I might just give up one day. That's why I don't want to let go of the pain. I'm afraid that I one day just say "ugh, you know, it would be nice, but it's just too hard" and then stop. I'm not good at doing difficult things and I have very low patience, so this journey might be one of the hardest things I could do.
I hope that it will turn out right. That I better myself tremendously and then can build that connection again
I know what you mean. It is really hard and I myself am in an inbetween state of wanting them back and moving on. I just don't know what to do anymore. This seems so hard, it would be easier to lose hope. But i don't want to lose hope.... or maybe i want. I feel so conflicted
@@vladimirtokarev9292 I don't want to give up. Like I said I feel like it's hard, but I'm so afraid of giving up. I know I can accomplish this if I really stick to it.
Ask yourself if it's worth it to fight for her. What makes her so special to you? Does she have something only she can give you. Like for example you could talk about everything or you had that strong bond together or where a phenomenal team.
In the end, and I know this for me too, no matter how this turns out, it will turn out good. Either we stop trying or we get back together. But in the end we will be happier than now. It will just take time. And that's so fucked up. Being trapped in the now.
Nevertheless, it will be an awesome journey
@@MonotoniTV Your'e not wrong ^^ No matter how this turns out, it will end great. Let's just hope it will me the best outcome
@@vladimirtokarev9292 for sure, let's work on it 💪
How long have you been broken up?
@@MonotoniTV Only 1 month, but it feels like an eternity
What are the things we need to do differently?
What if my socmed blocked
In time you will be unblocked
Basically she has to WANT me again despite what her family feels
Ditto
My granddad once said to me, when you brush the dirt off something try not to get it dirty again and make a fresh start.
This pertains to getting back together with an ex.
Ex`s become ex`s for a reason, mainly because a couple were not compatible in the first place.
In life, if one door closes another door of opportunity opens.
Why would you want your ex back? The past is the past for a reason.
Because that’s not always true! 🤷🏾♂️
@@dnpaker84 How you figure that?
@@brandonoats3493 because people change. We try to get our beloved persons back, not the broken rekationship. We all are here because we want something new with someome familiar, not because we want something back
@@vladimirtokarev9292 Believe that if you want to.