Clay Andrews: 5 Stages Of Getting Back Together
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
- In this video we are covering Clay Andrews' 5 stages of getting back together.
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Is is a video about the 5 stages of getting your ex back after a breakup.
The emotional experience your ex goes through after a breakup can be confusing and challenging, but if you understand what your ex is experiencing, it can equip you with a better path to getting back together.
You see, your ex may seemingly be acting out of character with the person you know that they are.
It may not really be true, if you take a closer look at what your ex may be feeling on an emotional level as they interact with you and explore what it might be like for them to connect with you and rebuild a relationship with you.
Every ex I have seen over the years fits in to one of these emotional stages. Watch the video to understand your ex's journey as you connect and built a deeper bond with them, and prepare yourself for a wild ride.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
Thanks for watching this video. If you want to learn more about the 5 stages, check out this playlist: th-cam.com/video/qWHF_Qmv1hM/w-d-xo.html
My ex is dating another man but they quarrel all the time she is telling me whenever they quarrel she regrets why she is broke up with me.she is telling me whenever they are together they cannot be like two hours without quarrelling but she is pregnant for him
Hi Clay, need your help here. I’m not sure which stage my ex is in right now.
We broke up 2 months ago. I’ve not done the no contact. I’ve apologized, pleaded, showing care, for the past 2 months and he was very reactive during first month. He chased me away when I went to visit. Second month he mellows down a bit, in tone of voice but still adamant in not patching back. I’ve been texting him this 2 months apologizing & explaining things, he reads my texts, but didn’t reply or replied coldly to certain tasks base topic such as getting things back or asking for his opinion on sports. Once a while he reacted to my texts like “why ask me? Why change now? I don’t need your help”
Recently I tried changing topic to talk as normal, he reads but he didn’t reply. He said things like “I’m not your honey, not your baby” when certain times my text contains such word.
Which stage is he in now and how should I go about it? 😔
What about a situation where we’ve been apart since 2001, but have mostly stayed in touch and gotten along well.
We’re talking, hanging out, even spent the night together (no sex). It’s awkward at times and I’m nervous.
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I am so happy to announce that my wife and I are getting back together!!!!! We separated about two months ago. I’ve been watching Clay’s videos and following all of his good advice, and yesterday she finally told me her decision!!!! Clay, thank you so much for your incredible videos and your approach. My wife went through all of these 5 stages. It was incredibly difficult to keep the focus on high quality interactions and self improvement when I was being avoided and pushed away, but I kept being consistent. Clay, you’re a genius. Thank you so very much for saving my marriage!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That's truly a great news, Shawn. Congratulations on getting back together. :-)
God bless you both.... Never ever get separated for any reason... May God bless u both and keep u happy for ever and ever
Weere you living together while separated?
how did you get past the second stage? i’m stuck there and i don’t know how to connect on a emotional stage
Can you please tell me how painful those two months were? And how you got through it?
I wish everyone luck in getting their ex back. Today is 8 months into my break up and finally realized is over forever.
The no contact has not worked.. we have spoken 4 times..she trapped me into telling her I wanted to get back together. .after she was talking about all the fun he had together over 17 years. Though it still hurts after 17 years just have accept the fact it's not going to happen. Good luck everyone. Thanks Clay for all that you do for us.
James G did you guys have kids?
No it was the second marriage for both of us.
Did anything ever happen? Or did you move on? She move on?
How are you feeling now
What I like most about Clay is that it feels like he’s just a friend giving you an advice. It doesn’t feel like he’s just reading his notes. He explains everything and just seems very genuine.👍🏼
Wh@tsapp him🌷🌷
1. Wall of Reactance
- Non communicative
- High levels of reactance
2. Test Drive
- Willing to talk to you
- One or two word answers
- Little depth
3. Riding the Dragon
- hot and cold behavior
- relate to their confusion
4. Crisis Point
- your ex realizes they still have feelings for you
- they may discourage you / test you
- let them know you’re serious
5. New Beginnings
- back together
- have that conversation to seal the deal 😉
I think i am still at riding the dragon for how long not sure the pandemic kinda is making things go slowly
I can confidently say i am pass steps 1 and 2
Melissa Miller
That’s great! We recently got back together 🥰. Best of luck!
Brittany Friesen thank you, yeah i have been working on it for months now, it is hard i hope i succeed in winning him back fingers crossed
Melissa Miller
Focus on connecting with him and positive things will happen. 🤗
I am 74. He is 72. It never gets easier.
Hello Mr ( Gabriel ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
Such a useful video! Thank you very much!
This is the most helpful video I have found.
Brilliant! You’re good man
I really love ❤ this video 🙏
Thank you
Much love from Amsterdam..
🌱
Omg ur amazing ur the first coach that explains Exactly what happens after a break up clay ur amazing u gained ur self a subscriber thank you so much i will b contacting u i think my ex us at the crisis point.
Appreciate it! Thanks for watching our videos and please subscribe as well. :-)
Happy to say that we're just entering the new beginnings stage. Keeping it zero pressure and just enjoying more and more time together. Thanks for all your sound advice and videos.
Great video and channel.
I've watched dozens of videos, and this is the first one that relates to my situation. Stage 2. We cared for one another greatly. And our mouths got us in trouble. Bad deal. But there's hope. Thanks
Wow! This is phenomenal!
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
I appreciate your videos Clay and thank you for giving this advice
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
Thank you Clay!!!! Your videos are awesome!
My pleasure!
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
This was really great Clay. Thanks for sharing.
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
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I can't believe am with my love again
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I can't believe am with my love again
Clay is 100% accurate and the best coach on TH-cam. It isn't even close
I love these steps!!! So spot on and no other coach has any quite like these!! So helpful for me bc I think My ex is in the crisis step and it helped me figure it out
So glad! We are happy to hear that you have resonated with our video. :-)
Did you get back together
Perfect advice!! Thank you Clay!
My pleasure! Thanks for watching out videos. :-)
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
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Hello Clay, I have to say that you are really good in what you do. I think you are the only coach on yt who actually explains the mechanism of a breakup into such details. After almost 3 months after my ex bf has left I have started to connect dots and understand why and what happened. It really requires a high level of empathy from you to describe all this human interactions so relevant. Thank you for your work. I wish I didn't come across your videos before my bf said that he need some space - maybe I would have saved our relationship instead of pushing on him. Best Regards from Croatia
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She is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
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Thanks so much, Clay! After 5 years together he moved out in Feb. his mother passed and of course I pushed for answers and communication but he’s an avoidant. Super detached. He responded saying he needed space and time to process things. So I’ve kinda given him time. I’ve screwed up a little bit but for the most part gave him time. He has half his things still here in the garage and keeps coming back to take a few things here and there. Last weekend he took me to grab my car from the car shop and he was really googly eyed and looking at me a lot. We talked and I told him I still cared about him and he said he did too. We hugged and told each court we loved eachother. He pumped up my daughters bike tire and talked with her for a bit. I don’t know what this means but it’s gotta be a good sign.
Thanks for sharing your journey. Sounds like you are both slowly building progress. :-)
These have been very encouraging videos! I was going to do no contact for possibly to long but you've encouraged me to see that reaching out after a shorter time would be a better move. My ex and I just started texting lightly but it feels more so on the better half of the "riding the dragon stage" not entirely sure if I should try to plan a meet up in person sooner than later in the next week. Her birthday is here soon so that also makes me nervous about seeming to pushy rather than wait till after her birthday.
That's great to hear, Kosta. Just take things one step at a time and focus on building the connection. :-)
Will do boss. Thank you.
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
.
ViawhatsApp.
excellent! Thank you!
You are describing the third stage (riding the dragon) we were going through for the last 2 weeks but now I’m hoping we can progress now to the 4th stage 😊 Clay… you explain everything so so well….. thank you 🙏
@Kim Egmore , you are very much welcome. :-)
@ClayAndrews thanks for this video. How exactly do you work past the Riding the Dragon and showing them understanding of their concerns and moving it into next stage?
Thank You Clay, this is so real. So much unconditional love and empathy needed for this process to happen.
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
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I can't believe am with my love again
I broke it off because I wanted her to get herself together she’s actually been taking steps . This video for me at the moment is spot on I’m in phase 2 .
So do you want to get back together with her
Thank you sir... God bless...
Always welcome :-)
I hope 101 tips for getting your EX back on the horizon 👨🏻 Seriously, you are awesome Clay, when going thru rocky moments listening to you is very comforting. God bless❤️
Thanks for showing support and watching our videos. We truly appreciate that. :-)
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
.
ViawhatsApp.
Very good video. I’m in stage 4, girl is in a rebound, and told me she’d call it off. Now she’s on a road trip and in crisis. I need to chill and keep doing what I’m doing.
You definitely got this!
Clay Andrews thanks. Do you just sit back and wait? Or do inquire as to if she did it? I mean we’re going for walks, hooking up, I’m definitely winning, but am trying to stay chill.
Update. The rebound didn’t stand a chance. Silly to be freaking out like we do. It’s haard to make a connection and she came back. Things are better than ever and I’m laughing at the other guy. She was recently divorced so giving some room was required. Don’t re-act, stay cool, and be the prize.
Love youuuuuu, thank you Clay !!
My pleasure!!. :-)
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
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ViawhatsApp..
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Subscribed and thumbs up… per your request.
Awesome thank you!
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Can you do a video on successful New beginnings and the success rate of them staying together and possible marriage
We have that in our Connect and Commit course. :-)
Say a prayer God helps you sustain it and I'm very happy for you I wish u nothing but the best
Thank you!
You're welcome!
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
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I can't believe am with my love again
I’m currently dealing with a situation but we didn’t ended it on a bad note and we both didn’t cheat. She decided to say we both should be friends. We both work together and it was just a person who decided to throw me and her under the bus saying we both were dating due to her and my girlfriend having some issues with one another work related. I have things at her house and she didn’t mentioned anything about me coming to get my stuff. Also, when she said we both should friends, she wasn’t to upset towards me or anything. Hopefully we both can try to fix things to get back together. She definitely pushed me to go back to school and did a lot for me as well as me doing a lot for her. I just decided to not hit her up first to see where she stands.
First, u d best will apply the advice you just gave me in the community
Thanks so much! Remember to show her you understand :)
My husband left me 18 mos ago. We were married for 35yrs. Together since teens. He has ran out of the country and won't talk. I sent emails for 17 mos. He read them but would only reply to some regarding business with only one sentence. I've finally given up and have gone into no contact. I still can't believe he did this.
Move on
Meanwhile throw a party every night BYOB
I’m so sorry to hear this. That’s so heartbreaking, but I believe you will get through this and come out strong, and you will love again and be loved properly.
Thank you for giving these advices many coaches show how to play games instead of understanding the phycological parts of the breakup.
Hi Clay I watch your videos everyday and you are totally different from other TH-cam coach. We broke up 6 months ago. Before we decided to officially break up, we did no contact for a month. Then he asked me to break up but still friend because I have a really good relationship with his family and friends and he said I was too good. We still go to the same gym, sometimes he picks me up. Besides when I asked him to go out for a walk or go somewhere with me he still agreed. Last week I came to his house. We made love, and he asked me to get back together and I said “we will get back together when you’re ready”. However the next day he asked me to stop acting like we still are couple and move on, “what happened yesterday was my mistake” he said that. He told me that he didnt want a relationship and he just wanna focus on his job right now and I had to find a serious relationship for getting married and settle down (he’s 23 and I’m 25). He doesn’t want me to be miserable. What can I do now? I’m so sorry for my bad English this is the very first time I leave a comment on a relationship expert channel. Thank you so much.
This sounds rough. I wonder if you just need to continue to ride this dragon!
Currently at the Ride the Dragon stage. It’s hard but hopefully it works out. She keeps saying she’s confused and is hurt and wants my comfort.
Is it common to go back and forth between the different stages? I can recognise behaviors from stages 1-3!
If I had money I’d definitely book a session.
Where to book it?
You can book your sessions with me (Clay) through the
link modernlove.life/coaching
Me too sorry i cannot afford your program
Clay Andrews same if i had the money, i totally would book a session to get my ex back
The ad timing at 13:50 was golddd 😂😂
Any tips on getting the conversations to a deeper emotional level? I think we’re at surface level right now! But hey he’s responding and asking me questions~
I'm so excited my broken marriage has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me and our kids for another woman. I was so happy to me how mr ose help many people to bring there lover back
Wh'atsap him...
I and she have been broken up for two months, the 1st month no contact whatsoever. She texted me out of the blue and asked me to come over which I did.
She vented out and told me that she was angry and emotional and couldn’t let it go. We hang out almost every day, we go for walks, we eat dinner together, I help her clean her house and we have been texting back in forth on a daily.
She tells me that she wants me to be consistent with her and prove to her that I can make changes in my life. She sends me selflessly of herself out of random and it confuses me. The thing that hurt was her telling me that her parents said you’d be stupid to take him back. And she teared up not knowing what that meant. I don’t understand, why would she call me to come to be with her for days straight. Is she playing mind tricks or getting closure from me ?
Stage 3 for 6months -I am ready to walk away .
My love has been riding the dragon since the break up... i got upset by it.. thank you for speaking into that - i have told him i care and love for him so much and i believe ive been consistent with expressing that i want to rekindle.. longest no contact has been 7 days ... no calls , just texts (2months of separation) after 1 year of beinh together every single day... he ended things saying i could do better cos i wanted marriage and he wasnt ready ... i dont know what to do now .. hes not responded for 4 days now 😢
I've been in the wall of reactunce of 4 months now
The depth of this content is striking; much like a book I found enlightening. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
I feel like I've been stuck at the riding the dragon stage and then I got tot the crisis stage and I almost got my relationship back and then we fought and now we back slid to him wanting to be friends and wont give me chances. i only discovered your stages about emotional connection and really wanting to implment this.
First step is the other person needs to want this. Period. 🙏🏽
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
💯
Give them a reason to want this.
the most important thing is to keep moving on with your life, there is so much going on.
Thanks for the insight. We truly appreciate that. And part of moving forward is learning the life skills as it adds value as we reach a level of self-awareness. :-)
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
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I can't believe am with my love again
My ex broke up with me and so I went NC. After a couple weeks she called and said she wanted to work things out and was really loving and we agreed to come up with our expectations moving forward. A couple days later she started being cold like stage 2 where she’d just give one word answers. I asked her if she was still interested after a week of that and she said it was too soon to answer. I’m trying to connect with her but it doesn’t seem like it’s getting anywhere. She said she doesn’t want pressure, but outside of asking if we were still on the same page I haven’t pushed the issue.
Treat her as if she doesn't exist.
She is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. ❤❤
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I smothered the guy I just started seeing because it had been so mutually, soulfully intense and then he got angry for not having space. So I totally did the wrong things, poured my heart out, chased him and he told me he needed space. So I have it to him, dropped contact and then a month later he said 'sorry for being rubbish, life gets in the way and I needed to check out for a bit, hope you're well?'
I didn't know what to make of it, I'd been so heartbroken and I left it a couple days and replied 'it's been busy but I've benefitted from the space, -hope you're well too?'
I think this might have been me with my defenses up - I didn't want to validate his dropping out like that.
I still miss him it's been about 2 months now. Every day I debate whether to drop him a line, and what tone that should take?? Of course, I've been working through my issues and enjoying my own life too but, we kinda rushed itt and it would be so good to reconnect.
How?!
Great content! I have a question/concern. I understand the notion of rebuilding a connection with your ex and enjoying and building on positive experiences. But shouldn't there be a conversation about what the goals or intentions are at some point? I'm asking because just because an ex reaches out, says I miss you or suggests to meet up still doesn't mean it's genuine or they don't have selfish motives. It could be ego or to keep you as a placeholder. How do you determine without having the convo? should you have the convo?
This is a great question
I feel like me and my ex immediately went into stage 3. We are talking. Yes, she runs hot and cold and got real mad when she founs out i want on a date. Tonight, though I'm heading to her place to wrap presents. I'm taking the friends approach and just trying to maintain a connection.
Hey Clay,, love the vids they really help a lot :) my ex unblocked me yesterday after about a month and a half and she's been quite mean and indifferent towards me. We ended things in January and i made the mistake of begging. In February however she almost came back to me after we shared Valentine's Day together,, but then she decided against it. I dont know what to do and i hope you can help me :)
I’ve had pretty much the same time frame. We ended in January, I begged, and we started talking again on Valentine’s Day (she messaged me)... We were connecting really well, I could almost see us together again until I messed things up. Not only did I mess up any chance of reconciliation, I messed up my chance to be her friend. I was still focusing on the relationship, and not focusing on the connection we were spending together. It was selfish of me to do so.
We haven’t connected like that since... We’ve talked but after that, she finally decided to cut me off. I’ve been stuck in Test Drive for 4 months, and no contact for almost 2 months.
I should’ve acted sooner, but she’s happy with another man now. 🤷♂️ It would be awful of me to break the connection they have for my own goals. Hope everything goes well with you and your ex, maybe you’ll make better decisions than me, lol.
Omg it's JULY! I suggest you move on and date other people.
I wish I would have found your videos months ago.
I appreciate your sentiment, and I'm here to offer support moving forward. Remember, it's never too late to implement positive changes in your life.
@@ClayAndrewsI'm watching so many of your videos to learn. I'm working with someone and they kind of disappear sometimes. I'm trying to figure out what stage I'm in. I plan on going to you in a few weeks. I'm still talking and texting to my person every day it's kind of 50/50. It's tough without her, we even have grandkids. Any way thank you for responding!!
Wow 😲 same thing going on.
3:26 4:55, 6:46, 9:06, 12:51, 17:42
Hey man...thanks for the video content. After 2 months of no contact, I just had a chat with my ex and to be honest it was good and brief after a bad breakup months ago. The chat was going great though I think I made a mistake by asking how she felt about us getting together. She politely said she's not ready for a relationship but from the look of it she's much more receptive to simply have a normal (but not deep) conversation. Do I still have a chance to get things back to normal? Or did I screw things up permanently?
Hi Emmanuel, it's good to hear that she is receptive when it comes to communicating with you. It's a common mistake for most of us to open the conversation about getting back together as opposed to gaining their confidence and trust back. The fact that she keep things in a polite way, start focusing on building positive connection. Chance will always be there but it will depend on how you would bring yourself on your interactions. If you are ready you can check our Effortless Connection course or the Connect and Commit program. :-)
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
Can you do a video on being in the position of the “rebound” in the beginning stages where they have their on again off again ex reaches out to them and throws a wrench in while the new connection was just forming
In my situation he’s told our mutual friend that they aren’t seeing each other romantically but he said he realized he couldn’t be dating again while he’s still entangled with her. He said he wasn’t ready to be dating anyone right now. He said he could see it going somewhere but couldn’t handle it right now and if we’re both open we could revisit dating down the line. But my response was very polite but guarded cause I felt I was being put on the back burner but now I know that they’re not dating again it feels like I wish I would have agreed to being “friends” for the time being to take pressure off dating when he wasn’t ready.
....Been broken up for 3 mo, 2 mo no contact... she wanted to be friends but I didn’t, so I pulled away slowly respecting her wishes. She always said things like “if I don’t reach out to you I’m sure you’d never reach out to me” and now she’s just posting/liking bitter stuff on fb “oh when you move on after the end of a relationship” or “YOURE not afraid of love ur afraid of someone destroying you like the last person” “no one notices when the strong one is tired” etc. I wanted to reach out but now i think maybe I should wait she’s clearly angry and not receptive. It upsets me she’s putting me in a negative light even when she knew I didn’t want this and I was trying/working on myself . I barely post on Social media anymore but when I do I make sure it’s very normal, casual, loving, grateful, overall positive....she always views my stories. I’m trying not to be very affected by this and overall I’ve gotten better at it, but I just think it’s interesting.. When I first broke up it seemed like she was always distracting herself with friends video games etx, but now maybe she’s having more time to think and it’s finally hitting her... I’m not sure what to do
Keep doing nothing. Exes drag people through the mud, it’s normal emotions. She’s clearly thinking OF you in some way and is clearly upset you’ve chosen the no contact treatment. Keep bettering yourself. Either she’s going to decide to reach out and fix things or she’s not and you’ll have spent a lot of time working on yourself and getting better
Hi clay my situation is 1 2 3 and it's a bit of all of them mixed in together but not at 4 or 5, can that happen! Soon as I'm getting somewhere she just go ghosting me is like she is holding back and she doesn't want to admit it its looks like shes made her decision and she's trying to stick with it. She stubborn. We broke up 7 months ago she been on Tinder for 3 months now pretty sure chatting to someone new now, the same times as she would be chatting to me! And I live an hour away from her I'm 37 she's 30 we want the same things in life as well what is your best advice many thanks.
Mr clay. My ex has blocked me 2times.. the first was after a month of our break up then he unblock Las March then the second one is this 2weeks ago cause we had a big fight. Do you think there are a chance to get back together?? But he told me he loves me. Hope you can help me. Thank you
What if you've not fully broke up broke up . Where he pulled away said he thinks he should be single . But then later same day he was confused and thinking about us . Says he loves me , but is scared from past hurts etc. We've went lower contact to give him some space,but talk daily etc. I feel like it's pretty much the crisis point with a mix of the confusion.
Heyy clay. im having a conversation with my ex this weekend. She wants to talk to me 1 on 1, i dont know what to expect. Do you know if this is 1 of these stages? Ty for making this video
Hi Damien, yes it could be one of the phases but of course, you still have to observe any consistent factors in your dynamics. Usually, if our ex slowly opens up with us, it starts with the Test Drive phase. But overall, we recommend to stay in the present moment and enjoy the time together. :-)
Hi Clay!
I’m currently at the last stage. He’s been making the effort to go out with me. At our last meet up, he kissed me goodbye and said “love you”. I paused for a bit and said it back. Things have been going good. We’ve been at this stage for two weeks. I don’t know when I should have the talk about taking the next step. I think I’m scared of being rejected again if I were to bring up the talk. Any advice?
Hey I’m not sure if my Ex is in the riding the dragon phase or the crisis considering he is super hot and cold but we have also met up multiple times In person and had a great time but then afterwards he needs an entire day to himself and won’t talk to me except for saying he needs space so I’m not sure what phase he is in.
It’s possible that we’re in critical stage but they’re not mentioned about maybe we should date another or you are too good like this ? But instead they act like I have to follow their command so if I’m don’t do that they can’t come back?
So how many meetups does this take to get back with my ex? I had 2 meet ups so far and she said shel be in touch for the next one
we were in 4th stage but she told me that part of her wants us to get back together but a more part of her is against getting back together. She counts my good sides and says especially you are very good at this this this and etc. Now she says after we will meet each other (it has been couple pf monthes that we were far from each other in other cities) I will not change my mind even though. What do I need to do in this situation?
I honestly don’t know where I am at with my ex. Eight weeks ago I was blocked, we went from no communication to just a few comments. The other night we texted for almost an hour. She was asking me questions, we were having fun, it seemed like we were getting back to where we were. And now almost ignoring me. Would this be riding the dragon?
My ex said he can't let me go. He loves spending time with me. I think he's still confused. We are trying but it's a bit awkward ❤
Wow...
Currently at stage two and we had a deeper emotional conversation, planning to have more emotional conversation with her
Any updates?
@@letduque5078 we back together, been 2 months now. I just focused on having a conversation that would reconnect us and took her out to places she always wanted to go to, like spa's ,museum, movies ,etc ,planning things with her just made her look forward to seeing me and yeah thats about it
@@MilesLambos-ef1nt so you quite taking everything slow. Thats good to hear! I hope someday i can be as happy as all of you who had experience getting hurt 😭
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It’s been 5 months and she is just now at riding the dragon
Any update?
she broke up after 3 1/2 years to make experiences. i gave her space and went into meditation and spirituality to fix some broken abilities i had from my childhood. one month later she said she had sex with someone else because it was just easy going (we had troubles here for a long time) but she knows now, that she needs love to have sex. she says that she loves me more than anything and that i feel family to her but at the same time she feels free now. i try just to be there for her and talk to her but not in a pushy way, she still has her space but its hurting me a lot and messing up my good/bad energy. its like she/we went through 4 of those 5 stages in a single week now. its exactly 8 days that we have contact again, we met and talked a lot, cried a lot, opened up in a totally new way. she also hopes that we find back together but she feels lost and confused atm. what shall i do? :(
What should i do if they broke up with me and have started dating someone new 2 weeks later? He told me he didnt want to end things but the stress of the relationship meant we needed space from each other. He's since said he doesn't want a relationship with me but wants me in his life... Should i go no contact, or ride it out? I feel disrespected but i want to make it work
I have decided to give up on trying to get my ex back he has rejected me and worst of all lead me on with signals that thought were reconciliation but were lies all along, i have found someone new who i am taking my time with and not rushing things anyways that is all i had to say
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He told me he cares about me but he won’t say he still loves me he says bc I will take it to far. I’m not sure what this means. 😢 we just broke up last month but he keeps trying to find reasons to reach out
My ex boyfriend has been texting me more, saying how well I've been doing and how proud he is of me, liking some of my posts including my pictures. He was gonna go to my best friend's party as he got on very well with them... he wasn't sure if he was gonna go until he asked my friend if I was going? He said then after that he would love to go but unfortunately he couldn't go in the end so he texted my best friend wondering if she could change it to the next day but she couldn't. He said that if they are planning a group event that he will definitely go next time.
Is this a great sign that he wants to get back with me?
Hi clay, I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s been 2 months of NC since the breakup. My ex is in stage 1, highly in reactance stage, as he doesn’t want no contact with me. He likes his actual life freedom and he’s even on dating apps (we met 3 weeks ago to get back some stuff left, and I saw the dating apps on his phone). I tried to do the first step 3 days ago, sending him a text to apologize/accountability for my mistakes, let him know I understand how he feels now and what he wants and keeping the door open for a meetup. He didn’t respond since 3 days. What can I do or say to make him talk to me ? Move from a stage 1 ?
Thank you !!
What to do if they’re both not talking to you, responding texts messages, but when you meet them personally they show also signs of the riding the dragon stage like confusion and mixed feelings?
I'm in the same situation. Any updates on your situation?
Haha I love the psychological disclaimer about being who you are and what you deserve. ;-) loll
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ex told me to never speak to him egain when I refuse to be freind with benefit with him nor have him as a freind and 4weeks later he came back telling me to not speak to him egain while I was in NO CONTACT and never reached him,what does that means? :o
How can I communicate, I understand him if we are broke up and not talking?
I could be an idiot in saying this...but I think we're exiting stage 4 and headed for stage 5
My ex is in a rebound relationship. He reached out to me three times during the time he was dating her. One of the times he said he still thinks of me sometimes and wonders what I'm up to. What do you think this means?
It's been a long time since we broke up. I moved to another country and previously I sent him some messages but I was barely getting a response. In December he was really rude with me, and in a rage explosion I told him he was a psycho.
A few days ago I had a new about a friend and I don't know why, I texted him to tell him about the event. He responded a bit confused (regarding the last chat we had) but he kept the conversation (way better than I thought and answering really quick), he asked me if I was back in my home country and how was everything. At the end of our chat, I told him I was very sorry about how I treated him and he said: "don't worry, I know".
I can't stop thinking on him, probably we'll never get back together, but I'm happy that I could tell him sorry and now I feel that the breakup wounds are healing. At the same time I can't stop thinking if he's letting a door open considering I'm going back to my country in 3 months.
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Hi Clay, today I helped my wife move to her new place after 2 months of staying at friends places and co habitating ( which was awful ). We talked well and were nice to each other, she said if we moved on she would like to be friends. She said she wants to only communicate regarding the kids for 6 weeks and then go to marriage councilling. Any idea what she's thinking?
Hi Harvey, it good to hear that you and your wife is beginning to make a progress. We may not have a concrete as to what she is thinking as she is the only person who holds the truth. But the fact that there are some solid plans between the two of you to work on your marriage, that is something that you can focus on. Maybe your question will be answered during your counseling as well, which may come directly form her. :-)
@@ClayAndrews thanks Clay. Will let you know how it goes.
I'm going insane it took so long for me and still hot and cold stage.
Hey!... Is it possible for a person to be at two or three stages at the same time? Like be at riding the dragon,crisis stage at the same time
Probably not altogether, but they can be in between the two. :-)
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If i should approach my ex and shes keep on telling me that shes happy now and madly inlove with her rebound what stage is this and im afraid that if i still contact her it would tell her that im still chasing her? I hope you could answer me so that i know where im starting and know what to do to fix it thanks you have a wonderful video
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I'm in test drive now but how do I get to the next stage?
umm i think im at the riding the dragon stage. he would send me little texts to get my attention again then lmk he does miss me. after we met up he is thinking maybe it was a mistake. has been distant since. he is telling me he is now "confused about his life' and "feels weird" it's been like 5 days of this :( i am just trying to respect his space n hope he comes back soon..
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