@@christopherrobin361very true. It’s hard to risk that because it could be years of being led on just because you decided to be deliberately open and selfless to someone who was effectively a stranger at the start
@@dblackout1107realest sh*t fr. You think they like you back just as much but in reality they just want to quickly go through you to then move on and leave u like u never meant anything to them.
I'm a gamer. Married a farmer. I love it. Screens are overrated; exploring life and starting a family is much better. You won't remember the hours you played or days you worked, you'll remember the time you spent with your SO and kids..
Nah I definitely remember the first time I fought and killed Miraak. I did not have levels capped and Miraak was a fucking monster who made me genuinely swear. Or the first campaign in Baldurs Gate 3, or the first time I played Diablo. The time I beat the Infamous Series, especially Second Son, hell I have lots and lots of gaming memories. I remember them more fondly than family events because all my elders died so we spread out a long time ago anyway since the organizers died 😂.
As a fellow Gamer I understand what are you saying, but don't speak like gaming is a bad thing it is from a very few thing which kept me shane in Hard times of my life, When there is no one Around Arthur Morgan on His Hourse's back Riding to Rhods is all that supported me fella. No matter what happens at the end of the day it's my alone time with my gaming console which is peaceful than engaging with any Existing Human being around me.
Yall he’s not talking about prioritizing time with your extended relatives or drinking buddies… it’s about an SO, kids, your OWN family and home which is incomparable.
I've learned through my relationship that you can express your needs and desires to a partner, but if he doesn't understand or is too self-centered in his love (ego), you can't force him to change. It's incredibly painful to love someone and to ask to feel special, only to receive nothing in return. Ultimately, you need to walk away. This might be the only way for him to understand, though he might never realize it or care. If he doesn't, it just means he wasn't the right one for you. When someone truly loves you, they want to see you smile and show that they're thinking about you. ❤ great video, I loved it❤
I unknowingly ended up doing this. I never meant to hurt her this way but I did without realising it. Wasn't until 2/3 weeks after she dumped me that I realized I had been a bit of a jackass to her. I apologized for it by sending her a sort of accountability letter
Funny how people with this mindset rarely are with someone together, because in reality there is not THE RIGHT ONE, but rather more compatible, less compatible and not compatible at all. My gosh, this mental gymnastics woman will do is just embarrassing.
@@Apheli0nne You do understand, that this can be justified? I want to figure out, if you‘re both at fault (maybe equally or some more than the other) or if just one party is to blame. Can you tell me, why you dismissed it? Did you dismiss it in the beginning or only later in the relationship, because her „problems“ weren’t actually real problems but she craved drama?
@@luwado Yes, women love this sort of ideas... if only it worked as prescribed!! But we NOW know, it works like this when they are close to 30... no way this works in their teens and twenties. They'll take it waugh, all the cash and prizes and trips etc... but at about 30 they commit to it.
Its important to do things together but also to have separate hobbies, we camp and concert but he loves fishing and i paint and draw, we went through this stage were thats all he wanted to do was sit drink and watch tv it ruined our marriage for 6 years but we are over it now and finally making plans again
This is what killed my marriage with my ex wife. She wanted to do anything and everything together. She didn't have any hobbies, or friends, or anything. No matter how hard I tried to get her to do these things, it just never happened. She'd never take any responsibility for any of her actions, and all she would do is stay at home and be miserable. She refused to let me do anything by myself. I couldn't hang out with friends alone, I couldn't go fishing alone. Grocery shopping alone. And even if I did do any of those things alone, I would have to be constantly texting her. And I couldn't be gone for more than a couple hours.
@@iandouglass8132 I can relate. For a while it is amazing to be with someone who goes for anything you suggest, but after a while it starts to feel suffocating that you can't do anything without apologizing for not bringing them
I agree with this advice, but some people don't enjoy living a very adventurous lifestyles and like finding love in the little things in life like being in the presence of their partner, tackling problems together, doing small gestures for each other. Living adventurously most likely wont be the solution for all couples in this predicament the wider message is just about spending quality time with each other and communicating what that looks like for each partner in the relationship.
Definitely, I think one can interpret the same point towards making sure the activities you do with your partners are ones where you both remain present and engaged with the activity you are doing and the people you are doing it with
ironically he plays into the very same toxic norms as any other "male self help" influencer. Maybe it's okay for men to not have all their shit together. Maybe it's okay to not always be spontaneous and adventurous. Maybe it's okay to be open to different forms of love. Also I love the cognitive dissonance between "if you aren't adventurous she wont be adventurous" while within 5 minutes he's talking about how immature it is to play games. He's playing a game, just one that preys on endorphines rather than anxiety
regardless of whether your enjoy athletics or not you need to be regularly sharing NEW experiences with your partner to not become furniture to each other. if you were content with being furniture to each other you wouldn't have clicked on this video.
@@jeffreychandler8418 exactly, all of this pleasant talk about how the man has to constantly cater to the woman, and break his back every day just to make her happy, is exactly the same as the pushover who has fear of abandonment, this guy is totally uncoscious.
I dont even date since my gf died in covid idk why this video makes me wanna cry. I did I best I could for her. Always trying to be better but idk why this makes me feel so sad
Being egotistical and emotionally detached I struggle to work it out with my girl. Often when we argue I just look how to "win" instead of undestanding her. It doesn't help that we are in a LDR and every moment spent like this is a scarce moment completely wasted. We had a breakup about 1 year into relationship but found our way back together. She indirectly brought me back into religion. I may not be the best man/boyfriend but giving my best to build something just outside of my emotionally percieved reach. Couple of days ago, she broke down in tears as she started to hold more water because of pills. It was my time to show the best of me. I said that I love her and will support her no matter what. The next day we went to a lake and she wasn't anxious anymore because she knew that she can count on me. We decided to loose some weight together. Me, after gym break, loosing some fat after surgery and she loosing the water. We just have to empower eachother in a relationship and beautyfull things can happen, things that can change you sometimes even fundamentally.
I don't care what are your cons, because what matters the most is that you are trying to be the best human version of yourself. Even if you are (or used to be) egotistical or emotionally detached, the fact that you're at the very least trying to improve on that is a HUGE W for you and your future SO
I am unemotional by nature as well. May I ask how you got into a relationship in the first place? That barrier seems uncrossable for me because of the aforementioned problem.
@@Natogoon A girl really wanted to be with me and that was it. I had many girls telling their feelings to me or asking for a number but this time I decided to try relationship instead of saying "ok, and now what?" to her like to many others. I never really was looking for a girl, it just came naturally. I never had to do any pick up lines or anything like that. I guess I was enough as I was for her because we even had our first official date (as in going someplace nice together) 2 years after being together.
@@Natogoon I just learned to be curious about peoples lives and the people started liking me. My gf always says that when she goes somewhere nobody is talking or smiling to her and when she is with me, suddenly everybody is happy and likes to talk. I thing its about the appearance. I appear pretty confident and am on the bigger side (187cm tall, 115kg weight(muscular)) and thus people feel comfotable, especially if you let them shine instead of you
@@percivalyracanth1528 I'm currently a novice in learning German so I had to look up the meaning of the real word to understand the pun. That was a really good play on words!
I’m trying SO HARD to remember this way of living with a wife, 2 kids, and a baby on the way. When we’re able to have a date once or twice a month, it’s so hard not to just relax and go to dinner. But I think this idea of chasing nature is very important, and we’ve both always loved nature… I want to work on crafting my life so that I can take her places with and without the kids. Thanks for this video, man.
I love this video, I started seeing all this “how to manipulate the woman you like” stuff on this platform. I could tell it was toxic. There is a woman I’ve met recently that I’m really into, the feelings appear to be mutual and we’re both in messy places right now. However I think I’m falling for her and I don’t want to manipulate her or not be myself with her. If I have to play games to keep her around then it would never work. Thanks for this.
Damn man. This is great. Definitely taking notes for my next relationship. I’m trying to be the best man I can for not only myself, but for my future relationship.
Bro I thank you for starting your channel because you recently become a daily regimen for me something that I have to have every week. I love that you have the ability to draw out our hearts, I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels your sincerity to the point to where it moves us to actually want to do something.
Great video. I’m a young guy and I’m in a relationship for about a month now and there isn’t anything wrong with us but this video showed me I could show my love for her more than just say it. I haven’t had many role models in my life to show/tell me how to express love to a partner so I really do thank you for making this video.
That's also a sign of maturity. I wish more men also saw that their worth isn't about getting a woman or a hot woman. We are here to find our match, not to impress someone who's hard to please :)
After 7 years of relationship and learning from my mistakes (still learning) this video is amazing and more men especially young men need to hear this. Love is not a passive thing but an action, you have to take action everyday to make your partner feel special ( this goes for both sides) there might be challenging times in relationship and that’s when you sit down and have those challenging conversations to understand each other better and give the support necessary.
Honestly this is for males that werent broken in the childhood ,by the circumstances that they coudnt change..and got ptsp... I m hitting 40 next year..divorced after 11 yrs of mrg,wich was without intimacy,I also at one moment lost interest in intimacy in it...emotionaly destroyed,..i had a lot of mistakes... Finding peace in solitude now...and moments when my son come to me at weekends...I gave up love and intimacy a long time ago..😢😢.. It is what it is....☹️.. Anyhow God bless you bro..
Trust me man anxiety in men comes as a feeling of no control and psychology tried to let you use your past and diagnosis as an excuse but no change is always possible
@@Bene-Ri That's pop-psychology and over-simplistic. There are a lot of details, if you had a rough childhood but otherwise had a role model in life it will have minimum impact on you; if your mother was depressive and cannot tune into you as a baby because her lack of expression then the rough childhood will become a mountain to climb since you do not have the ego strength developed to pull yourself out of that; that is a neurological fact; get some more detail instead of pretending to be Anthony Robbins.
@@nielslund8343 I hate when people make the "I had problems and turned out fine" argument because it ignores the entire process of **getting help**. Like, I guarantee all those people had mentors, acceptance, community etc. And the ones that fall apart? well they're like me. They sought help, and everything collapsed around them. It's now just a permanent void. The only reason I continue is spite and comfort in myself, even if no one else will ever understand it.
I fvcked up too. Took me 3 years to finally get a grasp on that simple fact. Context applies, but does not change the one outcome that will always be waiting for us: you are all you can control, so the fault should always be with you and nothing else. Because only that is a productive, positive perspective. The rest is for sad music.
One of the basic principles of stoicism, it's very easy to run around trying to control all the variables so they come out in your favour. The foolish part of it is that there's always another variable. The only thing in your control is how you react.
A flawed perspective. The fault is not always in you, but it's still your respnsibility to get yourself to a happy place. The idea that the fault is always with you lead to toxic bullshit like "it's your fault that you were cheated on".
@@hunivan7672 the fault has to lie with you for the simple reason that "you" are the entirety of things you control. It is of zero use to seek the fault elsewhere, so you focus on your part. It's not a moral issue, but a practical one. Comparing it to someone else cheating on you means you are missing the point.
@@jibberism9910 The issue is that you’re not all knowing, people lie, manipulate or even tell their deluded perception of themselves. Further, you don’t have even absolute control over yourself. Truth is over practicality and in the LONG RUN its more practical, because reality doesn’t work that way.
I usually to not watch videos addresses to men but something about this "brutally honest video" had me intrigued! To be quite honest, I expected to find some "red pill" woman hating and bashing video... Instead I found this gem... This is truly a wonderful video with an gem of wisdom and advice for a great and respectful relationship! Just wanted to let you know that men following your advice will be defenetly in a happy and successful relationship with their woman of their dreams! So, thank you for posting this video! 🙏❤️🙏
I have been in so many relationships with women who either were not good for me or I was not good for at the time. Only just recently did I finally decided to take a break after trying to find love for years and start learning to be more loving towards myself by doing things that are good for my soul and body, and let the rest fall into place, whether I meet a new woman or not. This video helped a lot man, thank you
Unfortunately for some men like myself, it takes losing a good girl to make them realize they need to change. I hope most men that watch this video learn from you. I wish I watched this vid before letting things go with my ex.
Not in a relationship right now but started working heavily on myself at the start of this year. I'm super greatful to have access to this advice at 23 even to simply reinforce the healthy life I want to live. Alot of the lessons that enabled change for me this year tie in so nicely with what you've said, and having you frame them from your relationship experience is invaluable. The taking responsibility/accountability is such a big leap that everyone needs to make in all stages and areas of their life. It's truly liberating when you realise that you can often improve those situations/hardships that seem insurmountable. At the very least approaching them with accountability puts your best foot forward in any scenario. Thanks for taking the time to share this.
I’m also 23 and struggling on where to focus my energy in self improvement. Could you please share your sources for these lessons you’ve learned or a good place to start?
@@ianfussinger356 Check out the book The Five Levels of Attachment by don Miguel Ruiz Jr. It's a good launching point for learning self-love, which is the first step in self-improvement.
Currently watching this video 10 months after breaking up with the love of my life. Amazing video - i wish i heard this back then. I’ll take these lessons with me in case we ever work things out
Me and my partner already split up but this video really helped me reflect on the ways in which I failed and should have taken greater accountability, which I've been really struggling to reflect on. Thank you and I hope I can apply the advice you've given me in future relationships 😊
I pressed on this video because I always like to hear and learn more about relationships, I myself have been in quite a few relationships. And a lot of them I had issues like the ones you mentioned, however my current relationship made me realise that all the games and bad women that treated me bad were not for me. I realised quickly and always left the relationship early. But now I'm in a 9 months already committed relationship. And I've been doing my part. Everything you mentioned in this video is exactly what I do and I can tell my gf is happy and feels love. Yes her situation does happen to make her depressed a lot and in a bad mental state. But every time she is with me she tells me she feels happy and loved so I believe I'm doing my part, and so does she. Your video is very well structured and well made. And yes I have seen a lot of men who do the things you said. I've done it as well with previous relationships, some people really don't understand how they're the problem. And use their partners as chores buddies or a more demographic way of saying it. Using their partner like a "slave" the respect and love nowadays is very bad because both sides of the gender don't understand and get offended easily and don't communicate their feelings. Good video you earned a new sub and I hope you have a good day siree!!
I thought this was gonna be some BS video, but some of his points actually made me rethink some things, helped me realize I've stopped doing some of the things that I used to do. that reminder at the end was also something i needed to hear, cause he was totally right, I did feel accomplished after watching a 20 minute long video of some random dude talking, but I haven't done anything and nothing has changed yet. gonna make some changes now, spread the love everyone, god bless.
Great stuff, if you have a woman who enjoys the outdoor life. At 44 she has never enjoyed the outdoors. However I love hiking, camping 4wd, fishing, diving. She prefers netflix n sleeping. Totally agree that doing these things together is much better.
I totally understand you, my woman has social anxiety, so I have a hell of a time trying to get her outside the house. And because of that I feel a large disconnect because of that. Sadly when I married her I thought I was receiving an activity partner, but I was shamefully mistaken 😢
@nathanislove Wow, mine has anxiety, too. I think a big challenge today is finding a spouse, partner that doesn't have some form of mental depression, trauma, anxiety, etc. I think it's not so much "how to have a happy marriage" but to raise happy children in a loving family. They, in turn become happy adults, prepared to enjoy a truly loving relationship with another adult.
If she have children, work and at home do all the daily cooking and cleaning then she is... tired! Average woman is by 30% physically weaker than average man which means she can tolerate less weight of life until she gets burned out and there is no energy left for hiking or bedroom and other stuff. If you add more burden to her than what she had under her own or parents roof before she began to live with you then this issue is caused by you.
@rengurenge, I thought women were strong and independent and could do everything a man can do? 🤔 Is she a holocaust victim because she has to take food, clothes, and dishes and out them into machines that do the work for her, and all she has to do is push a button? This kind of a life is what she voluntarily signed up for. Nobody told her to be a mom and a girl boss at the same time. Nobody told her to adopt the mental load she has. She chose that all on her own. Therefore the issue lies with herself and no one else. So if she has no energy to do the fun stuff or the bedroom or anything else that maintains the relationship, then that's all on her. She's responsible for her own life.
@@rengurenge not doing any of these kinds of activities will just make you lazy and bored. Ofcourse there are times when you or your partner are tired but making time for these things regularly will make it better, not worse. Especially when your partner has anxiety you want them to get out once in a while, fewer social interactions and unique experiences will only increase the anxious mind's resistance towards initiating those kinds of things. It like how it's much easier to go to the gym when you're already going regularly.
You're the man bro! I am where I want to be with my girl, and have learnt and apply the same lessons you talk of already, but I watched the video because I was curious what you'd say, and how you'd say it. And you did it perfectly, man. I learn't alot, and I'm happy you're putting these ideas out there. A good influence.
I am so happy that I found this video! It was an eye opener that as a man I am simply not willing to put in so much effort into something that I experienced several times to be heartlessly fragile. Hopefully one day this changes.
I've been in a relationship for 15 years. We met in our 20s and we're soon going into our 40s. We've been through a lot together. Parent deaths. Losses of friends. Money lows. Money highs. Illnesses. Accidents. Emergency trips to the hospital. I still have days the anxiety overcomes my security and I question why my partner still bothers to love me. Even though I just need to look back to know that's a silly question.
Thanks for this video. Ever since my ex dumped me(after 5 years of being in a relationship) i always wondered what got us there and what made it end. This video explains good why it all stopped and what i have become. Time to change, Thanks.
My 6-year relationship came to an end just a few days ago. This video made me realize where I went wrong and what I should have done differently... If only I could turn back time :( feels so sad man.
Thanks for your words Man! I really feel what you say, but, loving your partner everyday and making she radiant should be mutual, because we also radiate when we receive ❤
I’ve been changing my life the last six months. I cut drinking alcohol from every day, to around maybe twice a month. I started writing down my thoughts, from random things to my PTSD from the military. I got on an SSRI and talk through my issues. I went from traveling powerline work to Union Ironworking, so I can build a better future and be home more. I’m still unsure about myself, and I’m still in my head from time to time. But I’m working on being the man I want to look at in the mirror, for myself and for my lady.
Man this hit me hard. I lost my girlfriend of almost 5 years cause I got completely lost in this Pick Up techniques. She was literally this anxious woman who did everything for me and she went to hell and heaven with me. Its brutal to realize my mistakes and I am very ashamed about it. At a point she even had panic attacks. Fuck me. It almost breaks me but I will keep strong to be a better man in the future. That video helps me on my path.
This video is honestly a toxic mess of a self-helping masculinity. You're not perfect and you will never be. You will make more mistakes. If woman loves you, she will love you with your mistakes, as long as you try your best to minimize these. By god, be a better man in the future, but only be as good as you can be. Don't try to be better than you can be.
My girlfriend had crushing anxiety. She never comes out to my family’s cottage in the summer for a vacation, she never wants to go to sit down restaurants, she can’t hold down a part time job because she has panic attacks(take into account that we’re college students so it’s not as big a deal now, but it will be), we still haven’t had sex even though we’ve been dating for over 2.5 years since high school, her family treats her like shit and she is always struggling with finding motivation to ever do anything, so she’s very lazy. I love her to death, but these issues have become maddening to me overtime since we’ve dated for over 2.5 years. I want to do more things with her “inside the bedroom and outside”, but it seems that she never gives me anything to work with. I think it’s affecting my psyche too because I find myself getting very easily angry whenever I’m with her. She complains about every little thing, yet she never puts in any effort to do anything to fix the problem. I don’t know what I should do. One part of me always feels like she was my soulmate and I could picture her being my wife, but another part of me feels like we already are married because we never have sex, we bicker constantly and we don’t do any “adventurous” things together. Every time now when we have a happy moment together, it always ends up being unraveled by one thing or another by the time we part. I know I should be doing more, but she’s sucking the life out of me and she gives me nothing to work with, so it drains my motivation to even try anything else at this point. If anyone in the comments has any advice for me then I would appreciate it greatly. I really don’t want to lose her, but it seems that losing her might be the only option in order for me to possibly find happiness.
Start your healing journey and if she is by your side during that process, wanting to heal all of her wounds as well, then you both can grow together and the relationship will improve. If you began your healing journey and she does not want to do that, then its normal for people to grow apart. Eventually you will align with someone who wants the same things as you, because it’s worth it. Feeling like you and another can feed off eachother’s energy in positive ways is the most fulfilling part of being in a healthy relationship. A relationship should be inspiring, especially while you’re young and still figuring out what’s best for you longterm.
Leave her im in an 8 year relationship like that, i get more fever than sex even that im doing most of the work in the relationship, sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze and then you wonder where all those years went, she thretens with suicide every time i try to bring breakup. Might aswell kms so the bitch cannot bother me anymore.
Honestly? It seems that you already know the answer yourself. If you haven't had sex for 2.5 years, she is draining your energy, don't want to do anything etc., then what's the point? She clearly needs to work a LOT on herself, and in the end she is the only one in control of where she will go in life. It's not your responsibility. You need to worry about YOU! You can't save a person, that doesn't want to be saved. And as cold and cynical as it may sound, I'd say that an ultimatum is necessary here: either she do her very best to get her sh*t together, or she is on her own. And if she truely wants to be you, she will listen to you and take action. Otherwise you need to move on. If you don't, it will eventually suck the soul right out of you. And there are simply too many girls out there to let one ruin your happiness. I know it might be tough and brutal, but sometimes life is just a b*tch. And you have to do things that really sucks, but simply are necessary. Anyway, that just my two cents, all the best to you. I'm sure you will figure it out. Stay safe.
I’m married to a chronic depressive person for 27 years. Don’t expect your girlfriend to get “fixed”. You need to think about yourself and your own future wellbeing because your girlfriend ain’t.
Thank you Bene… It’s nice to realize that the thoughts I’ve been having recently aren’t just me bringing myself down, but instead taking accountability for once in my life. I wish I understood this before my last relationship… But at least I understand it now whereas so many other people live their whole lives never figuring it out at all. I know what I need to improve on and what to stop doing. I’m not enough of a man as I thought and I still have ways to go… but I finally see the path I need to take after so many years and I hope God gives me another chance and I promise that I won’t mess up a third time…
I never thought that the relationship advice most people need is from a german (a guess) guy who suggests people to jump off a cliff with their lover. On the serious side, you are truly speaking facts and I hope that your messages spreads through the world and sticks in people’s mind to make their life better. And of course appreciate you for attempting to change lives of others’
I have struggled with mental illness due to an abusive household as a child and genetic factors. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and physically can’t move or even speak sometimes. It’s something I’m working on with mental health professionals. I’ve also lost almost 60 pounds, found a gig that at least pays something (while not a lot it’s becoming more lucrative each day), deleted social media off my phone (except TH-cam), and several other habits I’ve started to change my life and turn it around. However, my wife does not see these improvements. Or if she does, they are not enough for kind words. She still puts me down, criticizes me, raises her tone with me, and generally has a negative attitude towards me at all times. Is it too late for us? Did I ruin our marriage already and she will never see me as a good husband again?
Wtf bro, she sounds mentally ill herself. You probably didn't do anything wrong, she's most likely just using you and bullying you for her pleasure. Honestly you might be better off leaving her
1. You have mental health issues stemming from past abusive parents 2. You're wife doesn't "SHOW" support for the goals you have obtained and in fact pushes you down 3. You want to be a "good" husband in HER eyes tells us you "FEEL" unworthy = low self-esteem 1. Children from abusive parents often seek the same traits from their current partner unconsciously... but why??? Because it makes us feel at home when we receive the same abusive pain/trauma. It is a cycle broken through by understanding/accepting who you are and why. 2. Your wife is taking advantage of your weaknesses by attacking your self-esteem. She doesn't love you, she loves the feeling of being ABOVE you. Each effort you make to become stronger 💪 threatens the power dynamics of your relationship. She's afraid to give you command of leadership. It's uncomfortable when you see someone learning how to play a game better than you thus causing you to try and push them down emotionally. 3. You fear losing wife due to being a poor husband. You arent a "poor" husband, you were already perfect in the beginning. You need to realize you are just as important as everyone and stop feeling small. Your opinions and differences are the best parts that make you special. You wish to be with your wife, a wife who treats you better, who supports your goals. What you are wishing for is actually the image of the woman you'd like to be next to, not the current wife you have. Chances are, you've already knew all this but you just needed someone else to push you over the tipping point. We all like to live in fantasies in hopes that things will get better. But it all depends on ourselves to choose a better path which you have already started.
@@jiashialee8154 this is incredible. I don’t have words to thank you enough for this. I don’t hear any of this stuff in my day to day life really and I end up just falling back into the negative thought cycle because it is normal and what I know.
I just love the background ,scenery, editing, and effort you put into this video, thank you for the nice talk in nature. I believe its this serenity you talked about in everything you do as a couple that defines a meaningful relationship. Thank you have a great day!
Can I have some advice? I'm gonna keep this as brief as possible but I'm 23 and had my first girlfriend when I was 20. I'm an optimist, happy (mostly) and an enthusiastic kind of dude. I actively pay attention and listen and stay present with whoever I'm with and enjoy laughing and having fun with them. I go on dates, to sunset spots, or go drive up above the clouds to watch the stars. I like all of that stuff. I don't play games over text or in person. I feel I have a high level of emotional intelligence. But I can't seem to hold onto a relationship. Small things manifest into large negatives in my perception of them. They seem happy, but I don't feel happy and it ends. Never done this before and it feels weird but any comments would be really appreciated!
These were very eye-opening points and I appreciate your perspective, man. I'm in a 6 1/2 year relationship myself and I found what you shared very insightful. Thank you for making this video
man u helped me fully realising shit that ive been thinking off for 2 years i think im finally over it and i see that it was my fault but now i know what 2 do thank u man
13:30. Theres a ton of really good stuff in here, especially your first point about adventure in the bedroom starts with adventure outside of the bedroom. But the point you made about buying her stuff is huge. When I learned this lesson, and instead of buying her stuff, I gave her experiences instead, it was a total game changer in our relationship
I must admit that I don't really feel great after watching this video. I'v been keeping myself from engaging in romantic relationships with women for the last three years because of several of the things you are voicing in this video. It's great advice, and the fact I don't feel good after watching this video goes to show for the truth of your words as well. I'v never seen any of your videos before. Thank you for taking up such an important mantle. Men today need good guidance, especially from other men. Thank you!
I think there’s something wrong with me because despite having a pretty good amount of success with women I’ve never ended up in an actual relationship and while I do get lonely sometimes I watch videos like this and all I can think is that it sounds like so much work. I can’t imagine being so emotionally intertwined with someone. I’ve been alone my entire life (in terms of stuff like this, obviously have friends and family) and I just don’t know how to function otherwise. I love being alone and independent. Am I broken? Avoidant? Autistic? I don’t know. I know it’s not right to view relationships transactionally but I can’t really picture the returned benefit of having to do all this stuff of making sure someone is taken care of, meeting their emotional needs. Sex i can take it or leave it, emotional intimacy, I convinced myself I don’t need it. I would be a terrible boyfriend and I would feel terrible for any girl that ended up as my girlfriend.
It is a lot of work. Most people will continuously fail at having good relationships. The important question is , do I want a life partner (and children) or not? People who desire this will continuously fail, but derive enough from the pursuit it will probably be bearable.
Emotional vulnerability will generally be a great cause of suffering, so it is wise to be wary. The returned benefit from all this effort is having children for a reasonable amount of money and the higher chance of having a monogamous partner in your old age. Very rarely people strike gold and find a partner that really loves them and objectively make their lives better (I roughly estimate this to be somewhere between 5-15% of marriages). Hopefully, this can be fuel for reflection.
I mean some people just don’t really need to be in a relationship. I don’t know you, so I have no idea if that’s the case for you, but it’s worth at least considering whether you actually would be happier dating or if you’re good with just hanging out with friends
Yea man, I agree on the gift part man. I give my girl an expensive bracelet and a Personal Note. She cries over the personal Note I gave her. Buying a gift could make her happy but you need to make it special for her too.
holy fuck this video popped up for me at the right time bro. thank you so much, its validated all the beliefs and actions ive been investing into this new relationship I’m in. and after watching this, i think i’m doing just fine but that doesnt mean i can’t keep improving.
This is something that I wish I had watched just two weeks ago! Hahaha! I think that I had a chance that I let slip through my fingers. I feel that it was this week that I really pushed it to the point where there's no going back. It just so happened to be that the first point was plaguing me, and I so so so wish that I had seen this video sooner. THANK YOU!!!
Thanks so much for making this video, today i felt like i was missing something in my relationship, i really needed a voice to tell me what i was doing wrong, and god i can relate to all of this stuff, im now going to be better than before. ❤
I knew you were German! The background and your accent did it for me. Anyways dude this is a great video and I certainly needed to hear this. Been in a relationship for 3 years and it’s my first real one too. I’m 21 now and still learning how to be a man. This just gave me the confidence to leave all that childish shit behind and change my mindset. Danke bruda 🙏🏽
I had a relationship for five years. Come to a close on mutually OK scenario Financially, for an extended period of time in my lifestyle is kind of unusual and that I mean, most people would consider it unlivable… When you started talking about causing effect, self responsibility and self agency, that’s what I’m looking for because before I ever get in another relationship I need to know that I’m doing for myself too Some of what you’re talking about is beyond simply the bond between two people About knowing where you want to get to in life going there living life with quality instead of the prisoner of routine … The language we carry and use daily in our heads spoken written, however I’m in major process of metamorphosis. I don’t think Mike conditions really qualify to give you that call. I wanted to write this and say thank you for constant that is valuable and meaningful for people who actually put the effort the attention into this. Have a great weekend
First-time watching you lad. That was really genuine and from your experience too which makes it hit home harder. After watching some of the other push/pull stuff recently this was refreshing and hit home more. Thanks 🙏🏻
I wish I had seen this video when it came out. I started dating a girl and she's the only girl I've ever been with, she's such a unique beautiful interesting human being, exactly my type. We didn't have amazing chemistry from the get go but it was growing over time. The relationship only lasted 6 weeks because I discovered she was seeing another guy since before we got together. It hurts so much, part of me believes if I had been doing these things something could've been different. I work 4 hours away so I stay in hotels during the week and would only see her on the weekends which made it even harder. She lied to me the entire time and I still don't know why. I'm not without fault, I was doing some of these things but not to my fullest effort and others hardly at all. I still miss her dearly and only want the best for her despite her using me throughout what I thought was genuine. I can't make the same mistakes with any other woman in my life. Thank you.
As a woman I say don't take the blame here. She was clearly at fault, having another man all along. I understand you miss her but know that you will learn about your own standards from this experience and build a truly connected and loving relationship in your future with a person that deeply loves you.
Mega krass - dein englisch ist sehr gut. Bis zu dem Punkt wo du gesagt hast, dass du deutsch bist war ich fest davon überzeugt, dass das deine Muttersprache ist Sehr cooles Video. Leider ist das ganze nicht immer so einfach. Im Grunde hast du auf jeden fall Recht besonders was die sache mit der Angst angeht. Follow ist da :)
I'm in an amazing relationship with and amazing fiance but i really wish i saw this video years ago. Im 33 but I made all these mistakes for the first 30 years of my life. I really hope some young guys are watching this. Also, cows sneezing are hilarious
Thanks for this I was unloyal to my ex girlfriend and i regretted it, never saw her side of things and argued her all the time. Lied about her to my parents who hate her know but things have changed and we’re talking again and meeting soon. I really want to make it work n all. I still suffer from panics attacks and depression from what happened before but so is she and we’re working on it It just feels right when talking to her again I’m currently in alcohol withdrawal from becoming an alcoholic again and im doing it for her and myself to better myself for her and to better my life I’m also quitting smoking for her I get so anxious about everything and i feel lightheaded most the time and sick but i push through and am getting help Seeing videos like this inspire me to become a better man Thanks dude
This video really resonated with me. I am a little more than a month into my first relationship and have noticed myself overthinking a lot due to my insecurities. I think I'm very similar to the old you, with an anxious attachment style. Luckily no damage has been done to our relationship and everything is going great. Thanks for this wake up call, I've got a lot to work on.
I was with my Ex for over 6 years. The one thing I learned is you’re not going to know it all like you think you do. Don’t be afraid to give love a try just because you think you’ll f*ck it up. Just be the best husband, boyfriend, fiance, and best friend YOU can be for that girl. One thing I take pride in from my last relationship was that I did a lot of positive things for her, and I was able to set her up for success. That’s all that matters
Just remember guys, you can fix a relationship and help it grow into something beautiful. You cannot fix a person who refuses to help themself or fix themselves however. If you have trully tried and given your all yet things remain the same its time to ask yourself if you should leave not only for you but for your partner, so you dont continue to be a crutch. Do not give yourself away to make someone else feel slightly better.
@@maxpain178 it’s easy, just gotta be in the right place, have social skills, smell good and be in shape. The hard part comes after u get the girl. It’s like a job you cannot take a brake from. You can do it king, loving is something wonderful.
@@paulosuarez1907 thank you for the advice, but sometimes there are simply times when some people don't get along with one another. I am a very complex person who does so much that I literally wouldn't find time for myself to look for anyone, and that's fine by me. Anyways, don't want to brag too much about it, but wish you well too!
At the end it’s important how you make somebody feel. That’s how you deeply connect with someone. You need to know how your partner feels. Funny thing is…Same applies for yourself. Treat yourself good everyone.
Don’t play games. Treat him with respect. Treat others with respect. Be authentically lovely and nice, gracious and firm. Know your own mind and don't compromise on your boundaries. Give him your all as he gives to you. If he stops giving you his all, stop giving yours.
Let me ask you this, I'm genuily interested and wanting for an answer: what makes a woman worth all that hassle? Or is that not an hassle? And how come? But even if it's not an hassle, why have a woman (besides for raising a family)?
If you find the proper woman everything just works dude, speaking as someone who found her. She’s my best friend and closest ally in the war against life.
@@KanyeKetchup i don't like that. I don't want to treat people in an expendable way and I also don't want to be used and thrown out. I connect emotionally too fiercely. I have a past of enmeshment. I find women such a disappointment.
Bingo. He's right, you can do anything to a woman but bore her. Is the constant jester work and tireless sacrifice, leadership, etc. worth it? 99/100, no.
hey there, i had 2 relationships with 5 years, each, the actual is the last, ive never seen stronger relationships than mine, now we are kinda facing new challenges, and we might spend time on netflix, but we are facing the challenges, and trying to overcome them, this video might be harsh for a lot of people, but, thats your ego trying to protect you, if u cannot go to the mountain, show you are getting out of the comfort zone, atleast inside the house, this will make her happier, if you cannot be adventorous outside your house, be adventorous inside your house. simple, this principle comes from getting out of the comfort zone.
I think I finally met a great girl, and we're going for a date! Ngl all u said it's something I felt/knew in a unconscious way. But I still learned a lot! Thank you!
I’d argue most men do, but women don’t have interest in those ones because they aren’t an exciting loose cannon. They’re traditional and therefore boring. Welp I and anyone else that way can’t help that. Nor should we really have to “help that.” Not like it needs to be changed. Because then you’re not authentic either
Adventure is the furthest from my worries!!! Safety is the most important in bedroom so no contradictions! No lies even small ones! Classy men is the only important thing in life! We don’t plays games and we hold back all we have for once we are secure completely even the best sx and all!! We can’t afford to give all to the wrong person so we slowly unfold!
Ego, selfishness, not working on fixing yourself, emotionally unattached, close minded, not being humble are killers to a relationship with anyone.
Being selfless to grifters is a fool's errand.
Don't be selfless but exercise caution. Be open but not exposed. There's a difference. @@christopherrobin361
@@christopherrobin361very true. It’s hard to risk that because it could be years of being led on just because you decided to be deliberately open and selfless to someone who was effectively a stranger at the start
these are German values for maybe German women. American women do not find humility attractive
@@dblackout1107realest sh*t fr. You think they like you back just as much but in reality they just want to quickly go through you to then move on and leave u like u never meant anything to them.
I'm a gamer. Married a farmer. I love it. Screens are overrated; exploring life and starting a family is much better. You won't remember the hours you played or days you worked, you'll remember the time you spent with your SO and kids..
Nah I definitely remember the first time I fought and killed Miraak. I did not have levels capped and Miraak was a fucking monster who made me genuinely swear. Or the first campaign in Baldurs Gate 3, or the first time I played Diablo. The time I beat the Infamous Series, especially Second Son, hell I have lots and lots of gaming memories. I remember them more fondly than family events because all my elders died so we spread out a long time ago anyway since the organizers died 😂.
stardew valley sebastian is that you?
As a fellow Gamer I understand what are you saying, but don't speak like gaming is a bad thing it is from a very few thing which kept me shane in Hard times of my life, When there is no one Around Arthur Morgan on His Hourse's back Riding to Rhods is all that supported me fella.
No matter what happens at the end of the day it's my alone time with my gaming console which is peaceful than engaging with any Existing Human being around me.
@@LaztheLax Hehe even though I have never played that game I can understand each thing u said.
Yall he’s not talking about prioritizing time with your extended relatives or drinking buddies… it’s about an SO, kids, your OWN family and home which is incomparable.
I've learned through my relationship that you can express your needs and desires to a partner, but if he doesn't understand or is too self-centered in his love (ego), you can't force him to change. It's incredibly painful to love someone and to ask to feel special, only to receive nothing in return. Ultimately, you need to walk away. This might be the only way for him to understand, though he might never realize it or care. If he doesn't, it just means he wasn't the right one for you. When someone truly loves you, they want to see you smile and show that they're thinking about you. ❤ great video, I loved it❤
I unknowingly ended up doing this. I never meant to hurt her this way but I did without realising it. Wasn't until 2/3 weeks after she dumped me that I realized I had been a bit of a jackass to her. I apologized for it by sending her a sort of accountability letter
@@Apheli0nneDude, please. Why do you think you were a jackass? Elaborate further.
Funny how people with this mindset rarely are with someone together, because in reality there is not THE RIGHT ONE, but rather more compatible, less compatible and not compatible at all.
My gosh, this mental gymnastics woman will do is just embarrassing.
@@SayfumaniMyG I discounted her feelings and failed to make her feel heard and understood
@@Apheli0nne You do understand, that this can be justified?
I want to figure out, if you‘re both at fault (maybe equally or some more than the other) or if just one party is to blame.
Can you tell me, why you dismissed it?
Did you dismiss it in the beginning or only later in the relationship, because her „problems“ weren’t actually real problems but she craved drama?
In times where Andrew Tate is a big influence on young men, people and youtube channels like this are even more important and beautiful to see.
Of course YOU a woman would say that... hahahaha
yup. we cant forget the female equivalents of tate, too
@@luwado
Yes, women love this sort of ideas... if only it worked as prescribed!! But we NOW know, it works like this when they are close to 30... no way this works in their teens and twenties. They'll take it waugh, all the cash and prizes and trips etc... but at about 30 they commit to it.
Why is Andrew Tate a bad influence ?
@@farukgunduz902
Exactly!!
Tate is telling the truth and they hate it. Is he brass and conceited, yes, but what he says is true.
Its important to do things together but also to have separate hobbies, we camp and concert but he loves fishing and i paint and draw, we went through this stage were thats all he wanted to do was sit drink and watch tv it ruined our marriage for 6 years but we are over it now and finally making plans again
I think even though he didn't mention it,
They obysly have individual personalities because relationship can't function without it.
This is what killed my marriage with my ex wife. She wanted to do anything and everything together. She didn't have any hobbies, or friends, or anything. No matter how hard I tried to get her to do these things, it just never happened. She'd never take any responsibility for any of her actions, and all she would do is stay at home and be miserable.
She refused to let me do anything by myself. I couldn't hang out with friends alone, I couldn't go fishing alone. Grocery shopping alone. And even if I did do any of those things alone, I would have to be constantly texting her. And I couldn't be gone for more than a couple hours.
@@iandouglass8132 I can relate. For a while it is amazing to be with someone who goes for anything you suggest, but after a while it starts to feel suffocating that you can't do anything without apologizing for not bringing them
@@iandouglass8132 wow exactly same as my ex wife lol
I agree with this advice, but some people don't enjoy living a very adventurous lifestyles and like finding love in the little things in life like being in the presence of their partner, tackling problems together, doing small gestures for each other. Living adventurously most likely wont be the solution for all couples in this predicament the wider message is just about spending quality time with each other and communicating what that looks like for each partner in the relationship.
Only comment to articulate my thoughts without being rude 👍
Definitely, I think one can interpret the same point towards making sure the activities you do with your partners are ones where you both remain present and engaged with the activity you are doing and the people you are doing it with
ironically he plays into the very same toxic norms as any other "male self help" influencer. Maybe it's okay for men to not have all their shit together. Maybe it's okay to not always be spontaneous and adventurous. Maybe it's okay to be open to different forms of love.
Also I love the cognitive dissonance between "if you aren't adventurous she wont be adventurous" while within 5 minutes he's talking about how immature it is to play games.
He's playing a game, just one that preys on endorphines rather than anxiety
regardless of whether your enjoy athletics or not you need to be regularly sharing NEW experiences with your partner to not become furniture to each other. if you were content with being furniture to each other you wouldn't have clicked on this video.
@@jeffreychandler8418 exactly, all of this pleasant talk about how the man has to constantly cater to the woman, and break his back every day just to make her happy, is exactly the same as the pushover who has fear of abandonment, this guy is totally uncoscious.
I dont even date since my gf died in covid idk why this video makes me wanna cry. I did I best I could for her. Always trying to be better but idk why this makes me feel so sad
Sending support energy for you man, hope you'll get better somewhere in the future
Stay strong bro, keep your chin up. We support you.
“If love was enough, then you’d stay forever”
That's either really unlucky or a really stupid way to die. Either way condolences
@@yasininn76 Fuck off and read the damn room
Being egotistical and emotionally detached I struggle to work it out with my girl. Often when we argue I just look how to "win" instead of undestanding her. It doesn't help that we are in a LDR and every moment spent like this is a scarce moment completely wasted. We had a breakup about 1 year into relationship but found our way back together. She indirectly brought me back into religion. I may not be the best man/boyfriend but giving my best to build something just outside of my emotionally percieved reach. Couple of days ago, she broke down in tears as she started to hold more water because of pills. It was my time to show the best of me. I said that I love her and will support her no matter what. The next day we went to a lake and she wasn't anxious anymore because she knew that she can count on me. We decided to loose some weight together. Me, after gym break, loosing some fat after surgery and she loosing the water. We just have to empower eachother in a relationship and beautyfull things can happen, things that can change you sometimes even fundamentally.
I don't care what are your cons, because what matters the most is that you are trying to be the best human version of yourself. Even if you are (or used to be) egotistical or emotionally detached, the fact that you're at the very least trying to improve on that is a HUGE W for you and your future SO
I am unemotional by nature as well. May I ask how you got into a relationship in the first place? That barrier seems uncrossable for me because of the aforementioned problem.
@@Natogoon A girl really wanted to be with me and that was it. I had many girls telling their feelings to me or asking for a number but this time I decided to try relationship instead of saying "ok, and now what?" to her like to many others. I never really was looking for a girl, it just came naturally. I never had to do any pick up lines or anything like that. I guess I was enough as I was for her because we even had our first official date (as in going someplace nice together) 2 years after being together.
@@KeueKeU You are blessed I guess. Women don't approach me at all.
@@Natogoon I just learned to be curious about peoples lives and the people started liking me. My gf always says that when she goes somewhere nobody is talking or smiling to her and when she is with me, suddenly everybody is happy and likes to talk. I thing its about the appearance. I appear pretty confident and am on the bigger side (187cm tall, 115kg weight(muscular)) and thus people feel comfotable, especially if you let them shine instead of you
The cows aren't Curious...
They're Küherious...
I'll see myself out.
Yes please leave 😂😂
Neuküherig 😎
@@percivalyracanth1528 I'm currently a novice in learning German so I had to look up the meaning of the real word to understand the pun.
That was a really good play on words!
this channel is a hidden gem
Na dude thus doesn't apply to Women where I'm from 😂
@@Rotting12rotting simp
“If you like a flower, you pluck it. But if you love a flower, you water it daily.” 🌹
I’m trying SO HARD to remember this way of living with a wife, 2 kids, and a baby on the way. When we’re able to have a date once or twice a month, it’s so hard not to just relax and go to dinner. But I think this idea of chasing nature is very important, and we’ve both always loved nature… I want to work on crafting my life so that I can take her places with and without the kids. Thanks for this video, man.
I love this video, I started seeing all this “how to manipulate the woman you like” stuff on this platform. I could tell it was toxic. There is a woman I’ve met recently that I’m really into, the feelings appear to be mutual and we’re both in messy places right now. However I think I’m falling for her and I don’t want to manipulate her or not be myself with her. If I have to play games to keep her around then it would never work. Thanks for this.
Yeah you should never have to manipulate anyone for them to like you. If the feelings are shared, I dare say you'll both be naturally drawn to her.
Calling it toxic just means she will get you, instead of you her
his "do adventurous stuff with her..." argument is 100% manipulation too. Manipulation is socially constructed, do what makes you happy
Dude just spit straight fire for twenty minutes.
Damn man. This is great. Definitely taking notes for my next relationship. I’m trying to be the best man I can for not only myself, but for my future relationship.
Bro I thank you for starting your channel because you recently become a daily regimen for me something that I have to have every week. I love that you have the ability to draw out our hearts, I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels your sincerity to the point to where it moves us to actually want to do something.
The way Bene Ri speaks just smashes you back into reality and provides actual value on how to better a relationship. You have me subscribed!
Great video. I’m a young guy and I’m in a relationship for about a month now and there isn’t anything wrong with us but this video showed me I could show my love for her more than just say it. I haven’t had many role models in my life to show/tell me how to express love to a partner so I really do thank you for making this video.
Very nice video I agree I have lost many girls for being a supportive available man and honestly I don't regret at all I have reached better women
That's also a sign of maturity. I wish more men also saw that their worth isn't about getting a woman or a hot woman. We are here to find our match, not to impress someone who's hard to please :)
remember, people have the same 24 hours as you. It's never too late to change.
After 7 years of relationship and learning from my mistakes (still learning) this video is amazing and more men especially young men need to hear this. Love is not a passive thing but an action, you have to take action everyday to make your partner feel special ( this goes for both sides) there might be challenging times in relationship and that’s when you sit down and have those challenging conversations to understand each other better and give the support necessary.
Honestly this is for males that werent broken in the childhood ,by the circumstances that they coudnt change..and got ptsp...
I m hitting 40 next year..divorced after 11 yrs of mrg,wich was without intimacy,I also at one moment lost interest in intimacy in it...emotionaly destroyed,..i had a lot of mistakes...
Finding peace in solitude now...and moments when my son come to me at weekends...I gave up love and intimacy a long time ago..😢😢..
It is what it is....☹️..
Anyhow God bless you bro..
I had a rough childhood as well man! Take responsibility and you will get to where you want to go!
@@Bene-Ri I will ..that is the only way...thank you dear sir for response...
Anyhow Great video and words.
Trust me man anxiety in men comes as a feeling of no control and psychology tried to let you use your past and diagnosis as an excuse but no change is always possible
@@Bene-Ri That's pop-psychology and over-simplistic. There are a lot of details, if you had a rough childhood but otherwise had a role model in life it will have minimum impact on you; if your mother was depressive and cannot tune into you as a baby because her lack of expression then the rough childhood will become a mountain to climb since you do not have the ego strength developed to pull yourself out of that; that is a neurological fact; get some more detail instead of pretending to be Anthony Robbins.
@@nielslund8343 I hate when people make the "I had problems and turned out fine" argument because it ignores the entire process of **getting help**. Like, I guarantee all those people had mentors, acceptance, community etc.
And the ones that fall apart? well they're like me. They sought help, and everything collapsed around them. It's now just a permanent void. The only reason I continue is spite and comfort in myself, even if no one else will ever understand it.
I fvcked up too. Took me 3 years to finally get a grasp on that simple fact. Context applies, but does not change the one outcome that will always be waiting for us: you are all you can control, so the fault should always be with you and nothing else.
Because only that is a productive, positive perspective. The rest is for sad music.
One of the basic principles of stoicism, it's very easy to run around trying to control all the variables so they come out in your favour. The foolish part of it is that there's always another variable. The only thing in your control is how you react.
A flawed perspective. The fault is not always in you, but it's still your respnsibility to get yourself to a happy place. The idea that the fault is always with you lead to toxic bullshit like "it's your fault that you were cheated on".
@@hunivan7672 the fault has to lie with you for the simple reason that "you" are the entirety of things you control. It is of zero use to seek the fault elsewhere, so you focus on your part. It's not a moral issue, but a practical one.
Comparing it to someone else cheating on you means you are missing the point.
@@jibberism9910 The issue is that you’re not all knowing, people lie, manipulate or even tell their deluded perception of themselves.
Further, you don’t have even absolute control over yourself.
Truth is over practicality and in the LONG RUN its more practical, because reality doesn’t work that way.
@@SayfumaniMyG All true, but you are still the one variable you can control.
You simply don't understand my point, and I'm not sure why.
I usually to not watch videos addresses to men but something about this "brutally honest video" had me intrigued! To be quite honest, I expected to find some "red pill" woman hating and bashing video... Instead I found this gem... This is truly a wonderful video with an gem of wisdom and advice for a great and respectful relationship!
Just wanted to let you know that men following your advice will be defenetly in a happy and successful relationship with their woman of their dreams!
So, thank you for posting this video! 🙏❤️🙏
Sincerely, I wonder if there is an equivalent of this video for women. If someone knows just post it here.
Women are perfect its all men fault
@@carloslemos6919curious too
Clicking on a video, because it could potentially piss you off is weird, glad it didn't though 🎉
@@carloslemos6919 likely not as popular in terms of views
I have been in so many relationships with women who either were not good for me or I was not good for at the time. Only just recently did I finally decided to take a break after trying to find love for years and start learning to be more loving towards myself by doing things that are good for my soul and body, and let the rest fall into place, whether I meet a new woman or not. This video helped a lot man, thank you
Unfortunately for some men like myself, it takes losing a good girl to make them realize they need to change. I hope most men that watch this video learn from you. I wish I watched this vid before letting things go with my ex.
always trust your gut. if it wasn't meant to be - it wasnt. most likely you dodged a bullet.
I'm dealing with the same at the moment... I lost a good one due to drinking,, it took me actually losing her to realize that I have a problem.
Not in a relationship right now but started working heavily on myself at the start of this year. I'm super greatful to have access to this advice at 23 even to simply reinforce the healthy life I want to live.
Alot of the lessons that enabled change for me this year tie in so nicely with what you've said, and having you frame them from your relationship experience is invaluable.
The taking responsibility/accountability is such a big leap that everyone needs to make in all stages and areas of their life. It's truly liberating when you realise that you can often improve those situations/hardships that seem insurmountable. At the very least approaching them with accountability puts your best foot forward in any scenario.
Thanks for taking the time to share this.
I’m also 23 and struggling on where to focus my energy in self improvement. Could you please share your sources for these lessons you’ve learned or a good place to start?
@@ianfussinger356 Check out the book The Five Levels of Attachment by don Miguel Ruiz Jr. It's a good launching point for learning self-love, which is the first step in self-improvement.
Currently watching this video 10 months after breaking up with the love of my life. Amazing video - i wish i heard this back then. I’ll take these lessons with me in case we ever work things out
Same bro
Me and my partner already split up but this video really helped me reflect on the ways in which I failed and should have taken greater accountability, which I've been really struggling to reflect on.
Thank you and I hope I can apply the advice you've given me in future relationships 😊
I pressed on this video because I always like to hear and learn more about relationships, I myself have been in quite a few relationships. And a lot of them I had issues like the ones you mentioned, however my current relationship made me realise that all the games and bad women that treated me bad were not for me. I realised quickly and always left the relationship early. But now I'm in a 9 months already committed relationship. And I've been doing my part. Everything you mentioned in this video is exactly what I do and I can tell my gf is happy and feels love. Yes her situation does happen to make her depressed a lot and in a bad mental state. But every time she is with me she tells me she feels happy and loved so I believe I'm doing my part, and so does she. Your video is very well structured and well made. And yes I have seen a lot of men who do the things you said. I've done it as well with previous relationships, some people really don't understand how they're the problem. And use their partners as chores buddies or a more demographic way of saying it. Using their partner like a "slave" the respect and love nowadays is very bad because both sides of the gender don't understand and get offended easily and don't communicate their feelings. Good video you earned a new sub and I hope you have a good day siree!!
I thought this was gonna be some BS video, but some of his points actually made me rethink some things, helped me realize I've stopped doing some of the things that I used to do. that reminder at the end was also something i needed to hear, cause he was totally right, I did feel accomplished after watching a 20 minute long video of some random dude talking, but I haven't done anything and nothing has changed yet. gonna make some changes now, spread the love everyone, god bless.
Great stuff, if you have a woman who enjoys the outdoor life. At 44 she has never enjoyed the outdoors. However I love hiking, camping 4wd, fishing, diving.
She prefers netflix n sleeping.
Totally agree that doing these things together is much better.
I totally understand you, my woman has social anxiety, so I have a hell of a time trying to get her outside the house. And because of that I feel a large disconnect because of that. Sadly when I married her I thought I was receiving an activity partner, but I was shamefully mistaken 😢
@nathanislove Wow, mine has anxiety, too. I think a big challenge today is finding a spouse, partner that doesn't have some form of mental depression, trauma, anxiety, etc.
I think it's not so much "how to have a happy marriage" but to raise happy children in a loving family. They, in turn become happy adults, prepared to enjoy a truly loving relationship with another adult.
If she have children, work and at home do all the daily cooking and cleaning then she is... tired! Average woman is by 30% physically weaker than average man which means she can tolerate less weight of life until she gets burned out and there is no energy left for hiking or bedroom and other stuff. If you add more burden to her than what she had under her own or parents roof before she began to live with you then this issue is caused by you.
@rengurenge, I thought women were strong and independent and could do everything a man can do? 🤔
Is she a holocaust victim because she has to take food, clothes, and dishes and out them into machines that do the work for her, and all she has to do is push a button?
This kind of a life is what she voluntarily signed up for. Nobody told her to be a mom and a girl boss at the same time. Nobody told her to adopt the mental load she has. She chose that all on her own. Therefore the issue lies with herself and no one else.
So if she has no energy to do the fun stuff or the bedroom or anything else that maintains the relationship, then that's all on her. She's responsible for her own life.
@@rengurenge not doing any of these kinds of activities will just make you lazy and bored. Ofcourse there are times when you or your partner are tired but making time for these things regularly will make it better, not worse. Especially when your partner has anxiety you want them to get out once in a while, fewer social interactions and unique experiences will only increase the anxious mind's resistance towards initiating those kinds of things. It like how it's much easier to go to the gym when you're already going regularly.
You're the man bro! I am where I want to be with my girl, and have learnt and apply the same lessons you talk of already, but I watched the video because I was curious what you'd say, and how you'd say it. And you did it perfectly, man. I learn't alot, and I'm happy you're putting these ideas out there. A good influence.
Bro. From now on, i will listen to this over and over and over again. This is the motvation i need. Thanks a lot!
This needs to be broadcast to the whole world! Absolutely fantastic and insightful advice
I cried watching this. I really wish for such a secure man to come in my life who knows and dedicates his time for me
I am so happy that I found this video! It was an eye opener that as a man I am simply not willing to put in so much effort into something that I experienced several times to be heartlessly fragile. Hopefully one day this changes.
All I can say here is thank you man, your words came and resonated with me at the most perfect moment
I've been in a relationship for 15 years. We met in our 20s and we're soon going into our 40s. We've been through a lot together. Parent deaths. Losses of friends. Money lows. Money highs. Illnesses. Accidents. Emergency trips to the hospital.
I still have days the anxiety overcomes my security and I question why my partner still bothers to love me. Even though I just need to look back to know that's a silly question.
Thanks man. A lot of these things I noticed on my own. She wants me to listen to her. It's amazing when you sit there and listen.
Thanks for this video. Ever since my ex dumped me(after 5 years of being in a relationship) i always wondered what got us there and what made it end. This video explains good why it all stopped and what i have become. Time to change, Thanks.
Thanks man, this made me realise a lot of things. I wish this video will be seen by a lot more people, because all you said are facts.
My 6-year relationship came to an end just a few days ago. This video made me realize where I went wrong and what I should have done differently... If only I could turn back time :( feels so sad man.
Single 22, finished the entire video
This might help me some day 😅
😂 Same
All valid points young men should listen to. There are few if any channels encouraging and teaching woman how to be a good partner.
Thanks for your words Man!
I really feel what you say, but, loving your partner everyday and making she radiant should be mutual, because we also radiate when we receive ❤
Okay… you said that at the end
I’ve been changing my life the last six months. I cut drinking alcohol from every day, to around maybe twice a month. I started writing down my thoughts, from random things to my PTSD from the military. I got on an SSRI and talk through my issues. I went from traveling powerline work to Union Ironworking, so I can build a better future and be home more. I’m still unsure about myself, and I’m still in my head from time to time. But I’m working on being the man I want to look at in the mirror, for myself and for my lady.
Man this hit me hard. I lost my girlfriend of almost 5 years cause I got completely lost in this Pick Up techniques. She was literally this anxious woman who did everything for me and she went to hell and heaven with me. Its brutal to realize my mistakes and I am very ashamed about it. At a point she even had panic attacks. Fuck me. It almost breaks me but I will keep strong to be a better man in the future. That video helps me on my path.
This video is honestly a toxic mess of a self-helping masculinity. You're not perfect and you will never be. You will make more mistakes. If woman loves you, she will love you with your mistakes, as long as you try your best to minimize these.
By god, be a better man in the future, but only be as good as you can be. Don't try to be better than you can be.
My girlfriend had crushing anxiety. She never comes out to my family’s cottage in the summer for a vacation, she never wants to go to sit down restaurants, she can’t hold down a part time job because she has panic attacks(take into account that we’re college students so it’s not as big a deal now, but it will be), we still haven’t had sex even though we’ve been dating for over 2.5 years since high school, her family treats her like shit and she is always struggling with finding motivation to ever do anything, so she’s very lazy. I love her to death, but these issues have become maddening to me overtime since we’ve dated for over 2.5 years. I want to do more things with her “inside the bedroom and outside”, but it seems that she never gives me anything to work with. I think it’s affecting my psyche too because I find myself getting very easily angry whenever I’m with her. She complains about every little thing, yet she never puts in any effort to do anything to fix the problem. I don’t know what I should do. One part of me always feels like she was my soulmate and I could picture her being my wife, but another part of me feels like we already are married because we never have sex, we bicker constantly and we don’t do any “adventurous” things together. Every time now when we have a happy moment together, it always ends up being unraveled by one thing or another by the time we part. I know I should be doing more, but she’s sucking the life out of me and she gives me nothing to work with, so it drains my motivation to even try anything else at this point. If anyone in the comments has any advice for me then I would appreciate it greatly. I really don’t want to lose her, but it seems that losing her might be the only option in order for me to possibly find happiness.
Start your healing journey and if she is by your side during that process, wanting to heal all of her wounds as well, then you both can grow together and the relationship will improve. If you began your healing journey and she does not want to do that, then its normal for people to grow apart. Eventually you will align with someone who wants the same things as you, because it’s worth it. Feeling like you and another can feed off eachother’s energy in positive ways is the most fulfilling part of being in a healthy relationship. A relationship should be inspiring, especially while you’re young and still figuring out what’s best for you longterm.
Leave her im in an 8 year relationship like that, i get more fever than sex even that im doing most of the work in the relationship, sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze and then you wonder where all those years went, she thretens with suicide every time i try to bring breakup.
Might aswell kms so the bitch cannot bother me anymore.
Honestly? It seems that you already know the answer yourself. If you haven't had sex for 2.5 years, she is draining your energy, don't want to do anything etc., then what's the point? She clearly needs to work a LOT on herself, and in the end she is the only one in control of where she will go in life. It's not your responsibility. You need to worry about YOU! You can't save a person, that doesn't want to be saved. And as cold and cynical as it may sound, I'd say that an ultimatum is necessary here: either she do her very best to get her sh*t together, or she is on her own. And if she truely wants to be you, she will listen to you and take action. Otherwise you need to move on. If you don't, it will eventually suck the soul right out of you. And there are simply too many girls out there to let one ruin your happiness. I know it might be tough and brutal, but sometimes life is just a b*tch. And you have to do things that really sucks, but simply are necessary. Anyway, that just my two cents, all the best to you. I'm sure you will figure it out. Stay safe.
You already lost her
I’m married to a chronic depressive person for 27 years. Don’t expect your girlfriend to get “fixed”.
You need to think about yourself and your own future wellbeing because your girlfriend ain’t.
Thank you Bene… It’s nice to realize that the thoughts I’ve been having recently aren’t just me bringing myself down, but instead taking accountability for once in my life. I wish I understood this before my last relationship… But at least I understand it now whereas so many other people live their whole lives never figuring it out at all. I know what I need to improve on and what to stop doing. I’m not enough of a man as I thought and I still have ways to go… but I finally see the path I need to take after so many years and I hope God gives me another chance and I promise that I won’t mess up a third time…
This guy is amazing, he knows exactly what I’m thinking
I never thought that the relationship advice most people need is from a german (a guess) guy who suggests people to jump off a cliff with their lover.
On the serious side, you are truly speaking facts and I hope that your messages spreads through the world and sticks in people’s mind to make their life better. And of course appreciate you for attempting to change lives of others’
I have struggled with mental illness due to an abusive household as a child and genetic factors. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and physically can’t move or even speak sometimes.
It’s something I’m working on with mental health professionals. I’ve also lost almost 60 pounds, found a gig that at least pays something (while not a lot it’s becoming more lucrative each day), deleted social media off my phone (except TH-cam), and several other habits I’ve started to change my life and turn it around.
However, my wife does not see these improvements. Or if she does, they are not enough for kind words. She still puts me down, criticizes me, raises her tone with me, and generally has a negative attitude towards me at all times.
Is it too late for us? Did I ruin our marriage already and she will never see me as a good husband again?
No I ain’t she just why she shouldn’t be in ur life no more and why you can get even better by retaining your semen and focusing on your growth
Wtf bro, she sounds mentally ill herself. You probably didn't do anything wrong, she's most likely just using you and bullying you for her pleasure. Honestly you might be better off leaving her
1. You have mental health issues stemming from past abusive parents
2. You're wife doesn't "SHOW" support for the goals you have obtained and in fact pushes you down
3. You want to be a "good" husband in HER eyes tells us you "FEEL" unworthy = low self-esteem
1. Children from abusive parents often seek the same traits from their current partner unconsciously... but why??? Because it makes us feel at home when we receive the same abusive pain/trauma. It is a cycle broken through by understanding/accepting who you are and why.
2. Your wife is taking advantage of your weaknesses by attacking your self-esteem. She doesn't love you, she loves the feeling of being ABOVE you. Each effort you make to become stronger 💪 threatens the power dynamics of your relationship. She's afraid to give you command of leadership. It's uncomfortable when you see someone learning how to play a game better than you thus causing you to try and push them down emotionally.
3. You fear losing wife due to being a poor husband. You arent a "poor" husband, you were already perfect in the beginning. You need to realize you are just as important as everyone and stop feeling small. Your opinions and differences are the best parts that make you special.
You wish to be with your wife, a wife who treats you better, who supports your goals.
What you are wishing for is actually the image of the woman you'd like to be next to, not the current wife you have.
Chances are, you've already knew all this but you just needed someone else to push you over the tipping point. We all like to live in fantasies in hopes that things will get better. But it all depends on ourselves to choose a better path which you have already started.
@@jiashialee8154 this is incredible. I don’t have words to thank you enough for this.
I don’t hear any of this stuff in my day to day life really and I end up just falling back into the negative thought cycle because it is normal and what I know.
I just love the background ,scenery, editing, and effort you put into this video, thank you for the nice talk in nature. I believe its this serenity you talked about in everything you do as a couple that defines a meaningful relationship.
Thank you have a great day!
A relationship is a teamwork, if you wanna win, you gotta work together.
This video made me cry man. You sir just gained a subscriber 🤝🏾
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF TRUTH!
Can I have some advice? I'm gonna keep this as brief as possible but I'm 23 and had my first girlfriend when I was 20. I'm an optimist, happy (mostly) and an enthusiastic kind of dude. I actively pay attention and listen and stay present with whoever I'm with and enjoy laughing and having fun with them. I go on dates, to sunset spots, or go drive up above the clouds to watch the stars. I like all of that stuff. I don't play games over text or in person. I feel I have a high level of emotional intelligence. But I can't seem to hold onto a relationship. Small things manifest into large negatives in my perception of them. They seem happy, but I don't feel happy and it ends. Never done this before and it feels weird but any comments would be really appreciated!
Yo, just read this. Message me on IG
instagram.com/bene_ri_
@@Bene-RiSent you a message, the last 3 characters of my username are "dge"
These were very eye-opening points and I appreciate your perspective, man. I'm in a 6 1/2 year relationship myself and I found what you shared very insightful. Thank you for making this video
man u helped me fully realising shit that ive been thinking off for 2 years i think im finally over it and i see that it was my fault but now i know what 2 do thank u man
13:30. Theres a ton of really good stuff in here, especially your first point about adventure in the bedroom starts with adventure outside of the bedroom. But the point you made about buying her stuff is huge. When I learned this lesson, and instead of buying her stuff, I gave her experiences instead, it was a total game changer in our relationship
I am looking for the fenale equivalent of this honesty and insight that he has. Does anyone know a trustworthy source? Thank you!
I must admit that I don't really feel great after watching this video. I'v been keeping myself from engaging in romantic relationships with women for the last three years because of several of the things you are voicing in this video. It's great advice, and the fact I don't feel good after watching this video goes to show for the truth of your words as well.
I'v never seen any of your videos before. Thank you for taking up such an important mantle. Men today need good guidance, especially from other men. Thank you!
I hope I find someone with your integrity and clarity
I think there’s something wrong with me because despite having a pretty good amount of success with women I’ve never ended up in an actual relationship and while I do get lonely sometimes I watch videos like this and all I can think is that it sounds like so much work. I can’t imagine being so emotionally intertwined with someone. I’ve been alone my entire life (in terms of stuff like this, obviously have friends and family) and I just don’t know how to function otherwise. I love being alone and independent. Am I broken? Avoidant? Autistic? I don’t know.
I know it’s not right to view relationships transactionally but I can’t really picture the returned benefit of having to do all this stuff of making sure someone is taken care of, meeting their emotional needs. Sex i can take it or leave it, emotional intimacy, I convinced myself I don’t need it.
I would be a terrible boyfriend and I would feel terrible for any girl that ended up as my girlfriend.
It is a lot of work.
Most people will continuously fail at having good relationships.
The important question is , do I want a life partner (and children) or not?
People who desire this will continuously fail, but derive enough from the pursuit it will probably be bearable.
Emotional vulnerability will generally be a great cause of suffering, so it is wise to be wary.
The returned benefit from all this effort is having children for a reasonable amount of money and the higher chance of having a monogamous partner in your old age.
Very rarely people strike gold and find a partner that really loves them and objectively make their lives better
(I roughly estimate this to be somewhere between 5-15% of marriages).
Hopefully, this can be fuel for reflection.
Relationship are give and take,an only give or only take relationship is called king and servant.
I mean some people just don’t really need to be in a relationship. I don’t know you, so I have no idea if that’s the case for you, but it’s worth at least considering whether you actually would be happier dating or if you’re good with just hanging out with friends
The landscape behind you is so beautiful! Where are you located?
Subscribed. This is the advice I need… in this confusing, toxic red pill space
Yea man, I agree on the gift part man. I give my girl an expensive bracelet and a Personal Note. She cries over the personal Note I gave her.
Buying a gift could make her happy but you need to make it special for her too.
This is brutally true, This is literally my relationship, just mundane. Gonna make some changes!
holy fuck this video popped up for me at the right time bro. thank you so much, its validated all the beliefs and actions ive been investing into this new relationship I’m in. and after watching this, i think i’m doing just fine but that doesnt mean i can’t keep improving.
Thank you! One of the most needed videos ive seen in a long time. Hearing these things was a breath of fresh air ❤
This is something that I wish I had watched just two weeks ago! Hahaha! I think that I had a chance that I let slip through my fingers. I feel that it was this week that I really pushed it to the point where there's no going back. It just so happened to be that the first point was plaguing me, and I so so so wish that I had seen this video sooner. THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for posting this video! From a woman’s perspective whatever you have said is so true.
Thanks so much for making this video, today i felt like i was missing something in my relationship, i really needed a voice to tell me what i was doing wrong, and god i can relate to all of this stuff, im now going to be better than before. ❤
I knew you were German! The background and your accent did it for me. Anyways dude this is a great video and I certainly needed to hear this. Been in a relationship for 3 years and it’s my first real one too. I’m 21 now and still learning how to be a man. This just gave me the confidence to leave all that childish shit behind and change my mindset. Danke bruda 🙏🏽
This really helped me. I will do my best to be a better man for her.
I had a relationship for five years. Come to a close on mutually OK scenario
Financially, for an extended period of time in my lifestyle is kind of unusual and that I mean, most people would consider it unlivable…
When you started talking about causing effect, self responsibility and self agency, that’s what I’m looking for because before I ever get in another relationship I need to know that I’m doing for myself too
Some of what you’re talking about is beyond simply the bond between two people
About knowing where you want to get to in life going there living life with quality instead of the prisoner of routine … The language we carry and use daily in our heads spoken written, however
I’m in major process of metamorphosis. I don’t think Mike conditions really qualify to give you that call. I wanted to write this and say thank you for constant that is valuable and meaningful for people who actually put the effort the attention into this.
Have a great weekend
thanks man this actually helped a lot, i will be using your advice and putting in the courage to go talk to her face to face again like we did before
First-time watching you lad. That was really genuine and from your experience too which makes it hit home harder. After watching some of the other push/pull stuff recently this was refreshing and hit home more. Thanks 🙏🏻
I wish I had seen this video when it came out. I started dating a girl and she's the only girl I've ever been with, she's such a unique beautiful interesting human being, exactly my type. We didn't have amazing chemistry from the get go but it was growing over time. The relationship only lasted 6 weeks because I discovered she was seeing another guy since before we got together. It hurts so much, part of me believes if I had been doing these things something could've been different. I work 4 hours away so I stay in hotels during the week and would only see her on the weekends which made it even harder. She lied to me the entire time and I still don't know why. I'm not without fault, I was doing some of these things but not to my fullest effort and others hardly at all. I still miss her dearly and only want the best for her despite her using me throughout what I thought was genuine. I can't make the same mistakes with any other woman in my life. Thank you.
As a woman I say don't take the blame here. She was clearly at fault, having another man all along. I understand you miss her but know that you will learn about your own standards from this experience and build a truly connected and loving relationship in your future with a person that deeply loves you.
Mega krass - dein englisch ist sehr gut. Bis zu dem Punkt wo du gesagt hast, dass du deutsch bist war ich fest davon überzeugt, dass das deine Muttersprache ist
Sehr cooles Video. Leider ist das ganze nicht immer so einfach. Im Grunde hast du auf jeden fall Recht besonders was die sache mit der Angst angeht.
Follow ist da :)
I'm in an amazing relationship with and amazing fiance but i really wish i saw this video years ago. Im 33 but I made all these mistakes for the first 30 years of my life. I really hope some young guys are watching this. Also, cows sneezing are hilarious
Thanks for this
I was unloyal to my ex girlfriend and i regretted it, never saw her side of things and argued her all the time. Lied about her to my parents who hate her know but things have changed and we’re talking again and meeting soon. I really want to make it work n all. I still suffer from panics attacks and depression from what happened before but so is she and we’re working on it
It just feels right when talking to her again
I’m currently in alcohol withdrawal from becoming an alcoholic again and im doing it for her and myself to better myself for her and to better my life
I’m also quitting smoking for her
I get so anxious about everything and i feel lightheaded most the time and sick but i push through and am getting help
Seeing videos like this inspire me to become a better man
Thanks dude
This video really resonated with me.
I am a little more than a month into my first relationship and have noticed myself overthinking a lot due to my insecurities. I think I'm very similar to the old you, with an anxious attachment style.
Luckily no damage has been done to our relationship and everything is going great.
Thanks for this wake up call, I've got a lot to work on.
This is the second time ive watched this video, second day. It oddly enough helps me not overthink which is kinda weird. But thank you.
Incredible wisdom. Thank you for sharing. I want to be the best man for my wife and I want too see her radiate joy. This was spot on.
I was with my Ex for over 6 years. The one thing I learned is you’re not going to know it all like you think you do.
Don’t be afraid to give love a try just because you think you’ll f*ck it up.
Just be the best husband, boyfriend, fiance, and best friend YOU can be for that girl.
One thing I take pride in from my last relationship was that I did a lot of
positive things for her, and I was able to set her up for success.
That’s all that matters
Thanks man, really motivating. Sometimes it feels good to be reminded of what matters in a relationship.
Just remember guys, you can fix a relationship and help it grow into something beautiful. You cannot fix a person who refuses to help themself or fix themselves however. If you have trully tried and given your all yet things remain the same its time to ask yourself if you should leave not only for you but for your partner, so you dont continue to be a crutch. Do not give yourself away to make someone else feel slightly better.
As a single man, without ever experiencing relationships, find this very relatable
for the love of god check out red pill content. This guy is a simp
That’s good. Don’t treat any girl like that. Just your gf. If she is not, bad idea
@@paulosuarez1907 LMAO!!! Like I'd ever get one
@@maxpain178 it’s easy, just gotta be in the right place, have social skills, smell good and be in shape. The hard part comes after u get the girl. It’s like a job you cannot take a brake from. You can do it king, loving is something wonderful.
@@paulosuarez1907 thank you for the advice, but sometimes there are simply times when some people don't get along with one another. I am a very complex person who does so much that I literally wouldn't find time for myself to look for anyone, and that's fine by me. Anyways, don't want to brag too much about it, but wish you well too!
Already 1:40 in and already very precious advice
At the end it’s important how you make somebody feel. That’s how you deeply connect with someone. You need to know how your partner feels. Funny thing is…Same applies for yourself. Treat yourself good everyone.
This one hurt, but I’m grateful brother
Ok I agree with everything, I now need to learn what I should as a woman (is it different?)
Don’t play games.
Treat him with respect.
Treat others with respect.
Be authentically lovely and nice, gracious and firm.
Know your own mind and don't compromise on your boundaries.
Give him your all as he gives to you. If he stops giving you his all, stop giving yours.
Let me ask you this, I'm genuily interested and wanting for an answer: what makes a woman worth all that hassle? Or is that not an hassle? And how come? But even if it's not an hassle, why have a woman (besides for raising a family)?
If you find the proper woman everything just works dude, speaking as someone who found her. She’s my best friend and closest ally in the war against life.
Just get money. Then it becomes a situation of who's using who.
So then you switch them out for a new one 😊
@@KanyeKetchup i don't like that. I don't want to treat people in an expendable way and I also don't want to be used and thrown out. I connect emotionally too fiercely.
I have a past of enmeshment. I find women such a disappointment.
Bingo. He's right, you can do anything to a woman but bore her. Is the constant jester work and tireless sacrifice, leadership, etc. worth it? 99/100, no.
I would rather try and possibly create something wonderful. The alternative is to not try and not get anything.
hey there, i had 2 relationships with 5 years, each, the actual is the last, ive never seen stronger relationships than mine, now we are kinda facing new challenges, and we might spend time on netflix, but we are facing the challenges, and trying to overcome them, this video might be harsh for a lot of people, but, thats your ego trying to protect you, if u cannot go to the mountain, show you are getting out of the comfort zone, atleast inside the house, this will make her happier, if you cannot be adventorous outside your house, be adventorous inside your house. simple, this principle comes from getting out of the comfort zone.
Thanks Bene
I think I finally met a great girl, and we're going for a date!
Ngl all u said it's something I felt/knew in a unconscious way.
But I still learned a lot! Thank you!
I’m jealous of whoever his gf is. Most men don’t have a damn clue
It’s good advice but she is still an individual that can leave at any time.
I’d argue most men do, but women don’t have interest in those ones because they aren’t an exciting loose cannon. They’re traditional and therefore boring. Welp I and anyone else that way can’t help that. Nor should we really have to “help that.” Not like it needs to be changed. Because then you’re not authentic either
And most women have even less of a clue.
That generalization doesnt help your chances of having a man like him lol
Chances are if you have to make a generalizing about the other gender you may be the problem.
Adventure is the furthest from my worries!!! Safety is the most important in bedroom so no contradictions! No lies even small ones! Classy men is the only important thing in life!
We don’t plays games and we hold back all we have for once we are secure completely even the best sx and all!! We can’t afford to give all to the wrong person so we slowly unfold!
Been so burnt before!
I think the adventure part is for when you feel secure in the relationship. It helps keep that spark alive.