I've been cheated on before and am in a very good relationship right now. I had many insecurities and fears about being cheated on after starting this relationship and can honestly say one thing. You won't be happy unless you swallow your pride and be vulnerable about these things with your partner. My girlfriend was very understanding and anyone who doesn't understand isn't worth your time.
Yes I’m in high school and I’m obviously nervous of her cheating but we opened up with eachother the other day she came on a family vacation with me and then she was going to fly to her old friends place and she’s going to a party but I opened up to her and told her that I’m nervous and that thought always crept up on me but we also talked about other things but she understand and really assured me nothing is going to happen and I believe her but I told her some is insecurities but she understood and we’re in a stronger place now
I once took back a boyfriend who cheated. Trust was broken and he kept looking at other girls. Relationship did not last and he dated another one who he is still with. If you are not sure, be unsure somewhere else. Once a cheater, always.
anyone who doesn't TRY to understand isn't worth the time. people aren't going to understand you outright. it takes work on your part and theirs to connect.
His advice isn't wrong necessarily. In fact, it's almost definitely ideal/the way to go. But as a woman/psychologist, you should definitely be aware of what happens to most men when they choose to become vulnerable with their partners
I know this video isn't made for me but the situation you're describing is very similar to my own. The feeling of playing a character and the (sometimes irrational) doubts hit close to home. I have been in a 5 year relationship as well and you've given me a lot to think about. You're selling yourself short by trying to reach only men.
It's true that this is universal advice. But from what I've seen, women tend to put far more thought into this kind of thing than men do. I think men need pretty direct messaging about how to advocate for themselves in a relationship and how to make these kinds of decisions.
100% agree. The points he made resonated a lot with me, talking strictly from his perspective makes it feel very authentic and i think it’s the right choice, but ultimately getting to the core questions of a relationship is something that doesn’t need to differentiate between men and women. If you are in a similar situation you can clearly see the parallels
I used to be so amazed that he would rather sit around and come up with delusions that I was cheating instead of putting effort into the relationship by making decisions. I was loyal.
Plus to push us away since they're waiting on Palmela Anderson and can't let you know you're worth 2 bean flicks otherwise what about nonchalance? Imaginary ongoing everlasting popularity?
4:47 i think the most important thing here is not only onowing what you want in the partner, but that in order to achieve this you must know who you are, what your boundaries are and what you want for yourself
Hey man I want to thank you very much for this video, because this resonates with me very much. A year ago I broke up with my first girlfriend. She was perfect in many ways and she really loved me and wanted to be with me. But I had these constant anxious doubts and I was overthinking everything. It was really killing me and also the relationship. I tried to talk about it and opening up about it to her, but in the end nothing changed. Finally I decided to break up because I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and I couldn't do this to her either. I felt she deserved better. What you said about the willingness to change struck something in me, because I think, looking back, that I was afraid to change. Afraid to let go of things. Now I wish that I had done more, because I let someone special go. She has moved on from me and I have been feeling terrible and I have been missing her a lot. I feel like I have failed and I let something precious go just because I didnt have the courage to change. Its hard to move on from this and accept the way things have gone. I'm glad I saw this video. It made me realise that I really need to put more work into self improvement and to take more responsibility of my own shit.
@leonardaarendonk4696 I just went through something similar with my ex. I was his first relationship, and while everything in our relationship was great, he broke up with me for the same reasons. He was just so unsure and didn't want to waste my time. Even though it was incredibly difficult, I let him go as well. Him struggling with those thoughts wouldn't have led him or our relationship to flourish, and that's not something that I would've been able to talk him out of. No amount of steadfastness and love would be what finally put those doubts to rest, and honestly, it was quite anxiety-inducing for myself as well. I think that's something that he has to work through himself, kind of like yourself. It's unfortunate, but at that time, you weren't ready. While it does hurt, you've been able to grow so much through that relationship and afterwards on your own. Now you'll have a great foundation to build from, knowing a lot of what you're looking for and how you want to grow and shape your future. It's a wonderful thing that she has hopefully found someone that is able to fully appreciate her, and that you understand the value that you can find in another. She won't be the only one that will love you and truly want to be with you. In time, I hope you'll be excited to find that person, and that you will be the man that's able to be fully present with her as well, and both of you will be better for it. Good luck, you can do it!!
Your comment soothed me because it's how I wanted to visualize my man actually caring about what happened both leading up to the big trauma event and itself.
I’m trying to overcome this issue with myself of not taking the whole responsibility of my actions. I’m always trying to say to my woman that I’ve been doing more, and watching this video I came to the conclusion that, I didn’t do anything, I was a great man to her a few months ago and I’ve changed, for the worse… Thanks, really thankful for your videos.
Can I ask, if I may, why you were a great man to her a few months ago but then you’ve changed for the worse? I’m currently experiencing this from my partner and I want to understand them as to why they ‘changed’
@@mylifeproject2406look at the attachment theory, avoidant attachment style could possibly be it. First few months they show up as great, then they suddenly change and are worse people, avoiding arguments, responsibility and accountability, dont self reflect, pull away, are inconsistent,… basically unsealed traumas from the past they bring in the present that need to be fixed. Emotional closeness can lead to people acting differently.
A video I wish my ex would watch and understand. But I don’t think he’ll ever understand. I didn’t want much but for him to better himself, and work on himself, while I work on myself so that our relationship could flourish better. But I’m the bad guy. I had to leave. And I’m so heartbroken. Thank you for a video like this.
Been in your exact shoes 3 years ago. It totally sucks, but I do not regret my decision and my life flourished after leaving him. Be patient because there is still a grieving process to grit through, and do know as cliche as it sounds that you will eventually get through it. Keep going! ✊🏼
I'll never get over a damn thing 😮 that's my therapy. I read once consider yourself already dead then make decisions accordingly as in will this matter in 5 min/5 year etc
I'm a divorced guy that is now in a new great relationship with the best girl I could ever imagine besides me, so I don't even care about what you say. I know you are right. This atmosphere is so awesome!
Please share this for women!!! We need healthy communication together, to hear each other speak honestly about our fears so we can understand truly and move forward.
MEN READ THIS: 1st. You'll ask yourself "is shes the one?" so many times especially in a long term relationship and how the relshp progresses youll ask yourself even more. These insecurities and doubts will get louder. This situation is so important bc a lot of men jump into the conclusion of "oh if I have doubts and insecurities then I must not love her". This is not necessarily true. Most of the time there is something else happening. Some kind of fear kreeps inside and wants its resolution. If she makes you a better person, if shes loyal, if you completely trust her etc then you might sit down first with yourself then with her and let her now about your insecurities, fears etc.. Dont avoid hard conversations with her because if you decide to just breakup w/ her without a fight for it then she might be the one that run away and you'll figure it out 5 years when all be too late. 2nd. You may compare the relshp with how it was in the beginning. This is not fair at all. No relshp will ever stay in its honeymoon phase and nothing will ever beat that period of your relshp. Disclaimer: I was in a long term relsh with a guy I thought Ill marry. We were literaly a soulmates. He broke the relsh bc of fear of getting married. He cowardly ended it without wanting to work on it. He never initiated hard and emotional conversations. Guys dont be like my ex. I know one day he'll regret everything. When that happens Ill reply on this comment and let yall know 😅.
Your ex sounds like me 😂. I was in a 5 year relationship and ended it with her cause I was scared of marriage and change. Still am too. It’s definitely hard and am trying to do better in my new relationship, but nearly ended it with her because of my fear.
I don’t understand how ppl can be afraid of marriage but be in a long term relationship and have all the things a marriage already has except the label. Or is it that you’re with someone you don’t really want to be with? And you’re passing the time with someone else’s heart while you wait for the one?
@@stillnai I dont get it either. But its always painful because you trusted this person with your whole heart and now you got to the point of questioning everything.
that’s why love isn’t enough, make sure that you guys are compatible in your life goals too, in how you think like whether you want a marriage or prefer the freedom
I know this video is geared towards men, but I see the wisdom in it for us ladies as well. It has good insights into the man's pov. I wish more women's life advice videos were as concise as this video.
"If you had done EVERYTHING, that means you would have got the outcome that you wanted." That is actually quite a deep quote. Even if that means truly exhausting everything in the relationship and coming to the realisation that things need to be ended, then even that decision is the outcome you wanted (in the end) as you have actually realised they are not the one after all and you can look for your true soulmate elsewhere.
The algorithm really being a homie with this one. Thank you for this paramount video for me brother I wish for nothing but more success for this channel, Thank you for being real. I felt like I had a one on one with someone my age.
I must say, what you said about being a warrior rather than a hero, will forever have an impact on my life. So grateful to have stumbled upon this video. Blessings to you good sir ❤️
Overthinking, anxiety, fear of past events and even the no contact I feel like I self sabotaged my relationship of 4 years after the break up.. it’s been a weird 6 months she already told me she’s done with this relationship but I think can’t stop thinking about how much I want to fix it
@@danaparfitt2491 it had to do with always drinking like with my boys or just after work but she asked me to stop or slow down kept lying about it and she used that to break up with me but eventually found out she’s been seeing the guy she told me not to worry about and instead of crashing out I just been focusing on me like yeah I’m mad but that’s not gonna do anything
Thank you for taking your time to make this. My girl and I are having a very important conversation in 2 days about where we are at. I’m very nervous and stressed but trying to stay confident that it will go well. If we weren’t having this conversation then we wouldn’t want to be in the relationship
the most difficult thing for me is battling a combination of my trust issues, past experiences/insecurities around a relationship, being too controlling because of this, but also letting my boundaries be crossed and forgiving because i hope they will change and grow. so i'm at a point of not knowing when to continue and hold on hope for change but being unsure if i will just have to forgive a mistake again or knowing what should or shouldn't be forgiven. i've lost where the line is and ive almost blurred everything for myself. relationship is 1 year 2 months or so.
i'm to the point that i'm tired of letting it have too much control over me. i have terrible anxious attachment issues and overthinking everything. i want to let go but still care.
Hi. I hope you don't mind me commenting, obviously from a female perspective. Everything you have is basically the whole issue with relationships. It's complicated, both sides have fears and it's hard to work out the complexities. My experience is that you can fiddle with the details, but you also need to look past that and drill down to the core person. Who they are, how they operate, how they see the world, and what makes them tick. And ask yourself, who will I be if I end up with this person? What will my life look like if I commit to thus person? What could we build together? What areas of tension are likely to come up? Examples, you're a planner, she is impulsive. This might cause problems. You're a saver, she's a spender. Or vice versa obviously. Then you are likely to have ongoing squabbles about money. What about how you handle hurt feelings? One of you lashes out, the other goes into long silent treatment sessions. See what I mean? You have to get a core sense of whether your two souls are going to be fundamentally in resonance, or fundamentally at war. This is really tough, and nobody else can do it for you. Basically, what I'm saying is spend less time focusing on what's good about your connection, and take a hard look at your areas of abrasion. That's what could tear you apart, not the good bits. Best of luck to you.
At 36years old I need to take a decision to continue down this road or to choose anther person. The looks are not all, character is key and commitment. Its hard to find this at my age
I'm 34 and it's very hard to find someone decent who's mentally and financially stable who doesn't want to F around only. I feel your pain. I want someone at my level too
we already ended, i just realize after time to reflect i also had a ton of problems that i simply either never realized or unfortunately didn’t see it as a problem until it was too late. We were so young when we first started dating so i hold no resentment towards either of us it was simply a lovely but also occasionally mentally exhausting relationship for us both. We live, We learn and We grow. to anyone else feeling doubt or guilt in or after a relationship just remember only you can control yourself and your reactions, don’t beat yourself up but do acknowledge criticism
I am so happy I found this channel. I screwed up my first ever relationship of 2 years bc I wasn't able to tell her what concerns me and what I really want to do with my life and how it compares with her plans. I just tried to do my best to make her happy, even if long term it was meant to contradict my goals. By the time I understood that not talking about problems (either my or our relationship problems) and not asking for support will not play out, I've already lost the interest in her... I started to not listen to her and argue much more, stopped appreciating the time together. I kinda blindsided her when I asked to break up first time, but we decided to try and work it out. But ultimately when we had to go long distance for a month, I realised that my life alone is... not worse at all. I actually forgot when she was returning. That moment I understood that I'll only hurt her more if I pretend to care. Still kinda sad that I wasn't able to communicate clearly. Sometimes I wish I could return that all, since I felt like it was bound to be a fruitful relationship. But I know I most likely won't reignite the feelings in myself to put in the effort again, even if I feel loved... And the push-pull dynamic, which is bound to settle in case this backfires, seems so abhorrent to me that I don't want to try. It's been enough pain for her and me already. Guess, I just have to learn from that experience and move on (and let her move on gracefully) For the month that passed since I'd pushed her, I thought a lot about what I did wrong. And your videos resonate a lot with my thoughts rn. They are tons better than most advice found online. And don't get me started on blackredwhateverpill youtubers. You're out of their league. Keep it up man, keep it up.
Your comment actually gave me some kind of explanation of what happened with my ex boyfriend. He couldn't tell me exactly what was wrong with the relationship. But most of what you said is what I felt happened to him and it's kind of recomforting having some sort of explanation of why he decided to break up. Because what he said was vague. He didn't have more energy or he didn't feel well. He wasn't the correct person for me. He said he loved me and he wasn't with another person in the country he had to go to work. One friend told me that most likely he saw that he was living a good life in that beautiful island, with a good job and meeting new people and he felt free and good without me and he made the decision.
@@apBUS_amp_K thank you for writing this. I have similar experience with my ex boyfriend, he ended it. No clear reason why. Im curious, what made you lose interest in her? Did you thought you can find someone better and in which way? Or is it something else?
@@BBartistic Mainly, I grew tired of her low self-esteem and having to constantly comfort her, even when she was dealing with day to day problems. And as I've said, I couldn't communicate it clearly for a long time. I did think that I could get someone better, but it honestly was a consequence, not a reason of my loss of interest.
Thanks for sharing, I think this gives me insight to my ex as well. I would always have to start the tough/deep convos because I was communicating what I needed in the relationship and what changes I needed. He never brought up the “hard” convos, and never really communicated what he needed. I had a feeling his long term goals weren’t aligning with mine so I would ask him about it a few times but he never gave an answer. Eventually I didn’t see the changes I wanted; the emotional connection was weakening. He wasn’t visiting me or calling me as often. This affected my self-esteem and I started wanting more reassurance. Finally I got an answer from him on his long term goal, and sure enough we didn’t align. I recently broke up with him, it’s disappointing. When I’m ready to date again, I’ll be looking for communicative and emotionally available men. ✌️
Modern people overcomplicate things. When I met my now-boyfriend he was quick to know I was the one and we are planning to get married. Dear women, a man who truly see you as his dream girl wont waste your time like that. You deserve more than a man who is unsure about you. Do I think men shouldn't make decisions at their own timing? No. Men are free to do anything. I'm just telling women that, you shouldn't let men who don't make the best effort, have access to you be it your sex, labor, finances, and ESPECIALLY kids. Modern people would say that I am entitled and don't deserve the great treatment that I receive from my boyfriend. Come again? Not having sex before marriage is entitlement? Yall have been lied to by progressive men. Also by the way, your standards as a woman, MOTIVATES your man. Yes the whole "willingness to change" in a man mostly comes from you, because being with you (and keeping you) requires dedication, effort and change. Only AFTER he reaches the milestones, you can reciprocate with your natural, nurturing qualities. Men can take their time, be unsure, do whatever but during this period they are not entitled to women's bodies and labor. Men who gets mad at this comment, think about your daughter. Imagine she's rawdogged almost every day with a possibility of her getting pregnant with a man who cannot convince both YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER that he is responsible. If you don't like the thought of that don't do it to someone else's daughter.
'Quick to know I was the one' how quick? A lot of men that are not mentally stable get into marriage fast because once you are married, you don't easily escape, you're trapped. So, quick is not always good.
@@susanguche good thing I require him to buy an apartement under my name. I also ask for mehr money (Islamic dowry) and I can use it as emergency. These are the conditions of marrying me. We are also gonna live apart for a while before he can bridge the gap (we live in different countries). I also continue to work, though choosing a more flexible work hours. So he knows I can quite literally run. This type of approach is still many times safer than letting a man acess you without him convinving you that he is safe.
They will bond more by solving problems together than by physical closeness or oxytocin bonding. Take on a project together or find a problem to solve together, and they'll take less space. This is vasopressin hormone connection which they respond to.
plan some things to do together. At least if they know you meet up at a certain time of the week, they can't run away. If they still run away from planned events, then maybe they're not the one for you
This is where I’m at in my relationship. I’m not sure if we’re on the same page as to where we are currently emotionally and physically but these are great points that you brought up. Going to analyze my situation and hope for the best. Thanks for the motivation to do so! And yeah I watched the whole video
Fellas, don’t waste time when you can get the feeling that she’s one of the good ones. I wasted so much time, and now she’s moved on. I am so broken inside I want her back, but I hurt her in a lot of ways. Be better than me guys 😔 learn from my mistake, and if you feel sparks and know she’s worth it, then do everything you can to keep her and don’t waste a minute ❤️
It would be great to date a guy who fallows advice of your video :) I've never experienced that unfortunately. But now I know my ex bfs just didn't want to create the best relationship for us.
This is my new favorite self help channel. Your wisdom resonates with me as I feel like I have recently come to these revelations myself and to hear it put so eloquently by someone such as yourself gives me confidence I am moving in the right direction. I wish I had learnt these lessons when I was with my ex, but now I know I will never repeat the same mistakes again.
I’m a woman and I watch this whole video till the end and I really wish every man would understand this if they did I wouldn’t have ended so many relationships and be on the continual search for the right kind of man
I honestly wish my ex would have seen this video half a year ago. Even if he would have come to the conclusion to break up anyway, at least he would have had to think about it and really sit with it (instead of whatever the f.. his way of handling things was)
Can I just say something here, please? At around the 3:45 mark, he’s talking about sitting down and having a serious talk with a significant other. He says, “if she gives you some half asked response, than that tells you everything you need to know.” Personally, I am a fearful avoidant and confrontations like this make me very, VERY nervous. I tend to deflect in many situations or change the subject. It’s not because I don’t love my partner any less…… it’s just because I’m not good at talking about/ discussing emotions and feelings. Please don’t think that’s “a sign” just try a different approach. Thank you
I like your idea of hero vs. warrior but wish you had delved a bit deeper into those concepts because (as a woman who dates men, and who also displays these archetypes sometimes--because I think it's a very human tendency) I think there is something very important missing from what you mention. It is crucial to learn honest vulnerability in an adult manner. To keep your immature childish self in check while tuning into childlike vulnerability. The immature childish self is entitled, arrogant and demanding. Which is unattractive regardless of gender or sexual orientation. No one wants to parent their partner, and it's not a fair expectation. The authentic vulnerable childlike self on the other hand: admits pain and asks for help. Gives their partner the option to help, realizes that no one owes them anything, but also realizes that if we never open ourselves to the possibility of being hurt, and never reveal our most tender parts--we will never fully connect with anyone. Women (and most people) do not like crocodile tears, or people who constantly pretend to be on top of everything and shut us out all the time in order to create an overly idealized image of themself. It may create lust in the short term, but it's also a barrier to intimacy if it becomes the entire relationship dynamic. Being in a good relationship is a constant balancing act, and nobody's perfect, so let's be kind to ourselves and each other while we're on this bizarre and confusing journey we call life. A lot of the things you say are specific to male problems in the 21st century and I respect the way you break issues down for men and boys. On the other hand, like others have mentioned: many of the things you mention are also applicable to everybody!
basically you are from another better planet, i only meet guys who want to put as little effort as they can. it is so frustrating, because all i want as a woman is actually a gut who will be sure
I was in a very good relationship but only put in 10% of the effort & she left because of my fear of letting people in. I had a chance to give it my best & I let her slip away. She left Tuesday August 27th.
Mann this is soo me, I needed this soo much.....Ive recently started learning this about myself. I want to say this is crazy how on time this was! A lot of this stuff that is straight up is very needed. Much appreciated
Its nice hearing others affirm the conclusions you have independently come to. Was just telling someone the other day that women think they want "freedom" but what they want is a man they respect and someone they TRUST to make good decisions. If you dont trust them to make good decisions, you will never truly respect them nor will you have a true partner or be able to truly relax with them. But women are so unwilling to give control because men are letting us down and not proving that we can trust them (And on the flip side, some women are trusting the wrong men who let them down over and over!) We as a society need strong trustworthy men!!
Thank You for that video, and this hard truth... I am currently in a relationship and we almost break up, but we talked and wanted to try again. Those words that I thought I did A LOT but I didn't really .. struck me. I am very bad overthinker and cant believe that someone like Her can love someone like me .. thats fking hard man. Thank You for that video
I'm unsure if I'm ready for a relationship in my current life, I'm not even quite 18 yet and I have found an amazing woman but I feel so undeveloped In the rest of my life. I feel like I need to level up for some time before I find the right time to commit to a relationship. Maybe I'm weak, Maybe I'm insecure. Maybe I'm just confused between my wants and my emotions.
My bf of 18 months, is a massive procrastinator. He delays every single task he has to do and of course that affects our relationship. We are still young, 4th year in university. He hasn't worked yet nor went to military (where i live its mandatory for men to go there for 6months). So I hope that when he goes through these he'll mature and change his habits. Be on time. Have a plan. Have goals and actually achieve them without moaning about being unlucky when in actuality he's just lazy! Sometimes I think by just telling him what the problem is, that things will change and that's not true But I love him to death, and I recognise that I am imperfect too, in so many ways...
Im saying this from experience, dont date someone because of how you hope they might change. Dont date someone based on one potential of who they might be. Its wasting both peoples time. He will only change into what he wants to if he wants to.
I had doubts ,I gave all my soul..found out..evrything was a lie from someone close to her who is also my brother's future wife.she told me the truth about my ex...done with love and bs
Sorry to hear that, man. Genuine question: when you look back now with the rose coloured glasses off, are there any signs that you missed? Is there nothing that you can learn from that experience, and apply that information to a new framework from which you can safeguard against dishonesty? I've said I'm done with love before. We all know there's no end to love, though. All we can do is try to get better at it.
Don't lose sight of the fact that it was just that one person and not all of them. Real love is out there and it is better to than to never at all. Sincerely a person who was also done with love and BS.
What to do when your partner still did not trust you when you tried to prove yourself by responding in time and satisfying his needs, never cheating and allowing him to check my phone whenever he asked?
Sounds like a him problem. If he's unwilling or unable to trust you, then ask yourself if you are willing to be in a relationship with an untrusting man. If not, leave posthaste
I love this guy ´s perspective on relationships and the dynamic between masculine and feminine energies he explains. I would love to be in such a relationship and i do want to do my part and learn. Does anybody know about any female mentor with similar philosophy on love? Thanx🧡
Hi brother, appreciate your videos youre awesome, have this dilemma here, I’m moving out the country for the next 2 years to Germany actually hahaha so I decided to break up with her, it sucked to make that choice because I love her but I knew that it was the best for both, she was willing to do long distance but the problem is that I’m not sure if I’ll ever comeback and she’s not sure if she wants to move in with me, talking about your 4th point, I know that I probably could’ve given more and continue with the relationship but when do you know it is better to probably end it and continue with your life? we both agreed to keep our contacts and to try it again if things work our way in the future but still want to be with her although I know that it is healthier to break up.
I would like some advice i have talked to my girl about her going to bars and that i dont like it but she decides not to care saying that she does not want to be at home like a prisoner. How should i aproach this? What could i do differently
It sounds like you guys want and have different expectations and wants in your relationship. A follow up question would be, does she take you to the bar with her or at least invite you. Are there drinking problems present? If she doesn’t care about your opinion, then that’s a pretty red flag in and of itself. Just my opinion, hope your problems get sorted out!
I only get invited when i ask she does not even think about it and tbh she has not given me any reason to think she would cheat and she usualy goes with 1 or max 2 friends and it is basically all she does other then work, shopping and going to the gym, so at the same time it is the only time she can turn her mind off@@ryandowd7108
I think the reason why she does not invite me is because i have told her that i dont like places like that, it is just a waste of time and money to me, i would rather build skills or progress in some way rather then get drunk for the fuck of it@@ryandowd7108
I’m making an assumption here that you’re insecure about her going to bars in case she meets other guys or has fun without you? I make that assumption just because it isn’t really up to you what other ppl enjoy as a hobby, plus she’s referring to home as a prison. Make sure your focus in this relationship is on loving her, not just not losing her, because she will feel this and it will be like a self-fulling prophecy where you push her away. And careful with expecting her to do things just to make you feel comfortable as this leads to isolation and can strip your partner of their identity and passion. Look at your own insecurities as that’s the real issue here, if my assumptions are correct but even if they aren’t like I said it’s not your place to dictate others’ hobbies. If you are more trusting of her, you will see the relationship improve. And she will trust you more too.
This video is ace, but sometimes situations are meant to fizzle out. Ultimately a TH-cam video shouldn’t b difference between relationship working or not 😢
Took me way too long to understand that; Relationships are not found, they are built.
Duh... you don't discover someone, you decide to be with someone.
Oooohh
@@muffemodoh my god you’re so smart! As soon as you said “duh” I just knew you were a great person 😊
That’s the formula but is ok everything is so complicated
I've been cheated on before and am in a very good relationship right now. I had many insecurities and fears about being cheated on after starting this relationship and can honestly say one thing. You won't be happy unless you swallow your pride and be vulnerable about these things with your partner. My girlfriend was very understanding and anyone who doesn't understand isn't worth your time.
Happy for you. Sounds like you got out of a possible pattern of being with emotionally unavailable women. Wish you both the best 🙏
Yes I’m in high school and I’m obviously nervous of her cheating but we opened up with eachother the other day she came on a family vacation with me and then she was going to fly to her old friends place and she’s going to a party but I opened up to her and told her that I’m nervous and that thought always crept up on me but we also talked about other things but she understand and really assured me nothing is going to happen and I believe her but I told her some is insecurities but she understood and we’re in a stronger place now
You’re lucky and I agree with your advice
I once took back a boyfriend who cheated. Trust was broken and he kept looking at other girls. Relationship did not last and he dated another one who he is still with. If you are not sure, be unsure somewhere else. Once a cheater, always.
anyone who doesn't TRY to understand isn't worth the time. people aren't going to understand you outright. it takes work on your part and theirs to connect.
As a woman and a psychologist neuroscientist- thank you. Guys - please drop red pill and all coaches - listen to this wise advice 🥺 he knows !
thank you :(
His advice isn't wrong necessarily. In fact, it's almost definitely ideal/the way to go. But as a woman/psychologist, you should definitely be aware of what happens to most men when they choose to become vulnerable with their partners
@@FumeRunnerthen it is truly the wrong partner if that does not work.
@@FumeRunner what happens?
@@BBartistic breakup
Doubts really stem from within ourselves. It is involuntary self sabatoge in many cases
Agreed.
Yea
Exactly.
I know this video isn't made for me but the situation you're describing is very similar to my own. The feeling of playing a character and the (sometimes irrational) doubts hit close to home. I have been in a 5 year relationship as well and you've given me a lot to think about. You're selling yourself short by trying to reach only men.
It's true that this is universal advice. But from what I've seen, women tend to put far more thought into this kind of thing than men do. I think men need pretty direct messaging about how to advocate for themselves in a relationship and how to make these kinds of decisions.
Nah women are more infidel/promiscuous than guys. Yall have way to many options to monkeybranch. No sympathy for you honestly.
It's from experiences as a male, so it makes sense it's targeted specifically towards other males.
You dont belong here. This is a safe space for the boys. Move along
100% agree. The points he made resonated a lot with me, talking strictly from his perspective makes it feel very authentic and i think it’s the right choice, but ultimately getting to the core questions of a relationship is something that doesn’t need to differentiate between men and women. If you are in a similar situation you can clearly see the parallels
I used to be so amazed that he would rather sit around and come up with delusions that I was cheating instead of putting effort into the relationship by making decisions. I was loyal.
Ok
Probably just sus by way of cheating his damn self ( both figuratively and literally) .
Plus to push us away since they're waiting on Palmela Anderson and can't let you know you're worth 2 bean flicks otherwise what about nonchalance? Imaginary ongoing everlasting popularity?
4:47 i think the most important thing here is not only onowing what you want in the partner, but that in order to achieve this you must know who you are, what your boundaries are and what you want for yourself
Hey man I want to thank you very much for this video, because this resonates with me very much. A year ago I broke up with my first girlfriend. She was perfect in many ways and she really loved me and wanted to be with me. But I had these constant anxious doubts and I was overthinking everything. It was really killing me and also the relationship. I tried to talk about it and opening up about it to her, but in the end nothing changed. Finally I decided to break up because I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and I couldn't do this to her either. I felt she deserved better. What you said about the willingness to change struck something in me, because I think, looking back, that I was afraid to change. Afraid to let go of things. Now I wish that I had done more, because I let someone special go.
She has moved on from me and I have been feeling terrible and I have been missing her a lot. I feel like I have failed and I let something precious go just because I didnt have the courage to change. Its hard to move on from this and accept the way things have gone.
I'm glad I saw this video. It made me realise that I really need to put more work into self improvement and to take more responsibility of my own shit.
@leonardaarendonk4696
I just went through something similar with my ex. I was his first relationship, and while everything in our relationship was great, he broke up with me for the same reasons. He was just so unsure and didn't want to waste my time. Even though it was incredibly difficult, I let him go as well.
Him struggling with those thoughts wouldn't have led him or our relationship to flourish, and that's not something that I would've been able to talk him out of. No amount of steadfastness and love would be what finally put those doubts to rest, and honestly, it was quite anxiety-inducing for myself as well. I think that's something that he has to work through himself, kind of like yourself.
It's unfortunate, but at that time, you weren't ready. While it does hurt, you've been able to grow so much through that relationship and afterwards on your own. Now you'll have a great foundation to build from, knowing a lot of what you're looking for and how you want to grow and shape your future.
It's a wonderful thing that she has hopefully found someone that is able to fully appreciate her, and that you understand the value that you can find in another. She won't be the only one that will love you and truly want to be with you. In time, I hope you'll be excited to find that person, and that you will be the man that's able to be fully present with her as well, and both of you will be better for it. Good luck, you can do it!!
Your comment soothed me because it's how I wanted to visualize my man actually caring about what happened both leading up to the big trauma event and itself.
Good for you!
Please set up a site containing single men willing to do this work looking for partners. We women are waiting for you.
Here I am
I second that
How do we find each other 😭😭😭
@@emmaallred2097 hi
You'll find most guys are. When they dip out they realize the girl isn't bothered in growing herself
I’m trying to overcome this issue with myself of not taking the whole responsibility of my actions. I’m always trying to say to my woman that I’ve been doing more, and watching this video I came to the conclusion that, I didn’t do anything, I was a great man to her a few months ago and I’ve changed, for the worse…
Thanks, really thankful for your videos.
I can bet that you taking accountability and sharing this with your woman, would mean everything to her.
@@jenesilies6102yessss
Can I ask, if I may, why you were a great man to her a few months ago but then you’ve changed for the worse? I’m currently experiencing this from my partner and I want to understand them as to why they ‘changed’
Was it addictions?
@@mylifeproject2406look at the attachment theory, avoidant attachment style could possibly be it. First few months they show up as great, then they suddenly change and are worse people, avoiding arguments, responsibility and accountability, dont self reflect, pull away, are inconsistent,… basically unsealed traumas from the past they bring in the present that need to be fixed. Emotional closeness can lead to people acting differently.
A video I wish my ex would watch and understand. But I don’t think he’ll ever understand. I didn’t want much but for him to better himself, and work on himself, while I work on myself so that our relationship could flourish better. But I’m the bad guy. I had to leave. And I’m so heartbroken. Thank you for a video like this.
I have a lot of empathy for the broken hearted. I recommend reading a book called Bittersweet by Susan Caines.
Been in your exact shoes 3 years ago. It totally sucks, but I do not regret my decision and my life flourished after leaving him. Be patient because there is still a grieving process to grit through, and do know as cliche as it sounds that you will eventually get through it. Keep going! ✊🏼
@@LittleLoLo7 thank you! I’m already feeling stronger and glad I also made the decision too because I deserve better. I’m realizing a lot of things.
Where do things stand now?
I'll never get over a damn thing 😮 that's my therapy. I read once consider yourself already dead then make decisions accordingly as in will this matter in 5 min/5 year etc
I'm a divorced guy that is now in a new great relationship with the best girl I could ever imagine besides me, so I don't even care about what you say. I know you are right. This atmosphere is so awesome!
Please share this for women!!! We need healthy communication together, to hear each other speak honestly about our fears so we can understand truly and move forward.
MEN READ THIS:
1st. You'll ask yourself "is shes the one?" so many times especially in a long term relationship and how the relshp progresses youll ask yourself even more. These insecurities and doubts will get louder. This situation is so important bc a lot of men jump into the conclusion of "oh if I have doubts and insecurities then I must not love her".
This is not necessarily true. Most of the time there is something else happening. Some kind of fear kreeps inside and wants its resolution.
If she makes you a better person, if shes loyal, if you completely trust her etc then you might sit down first with yourself then with her and let her now about your insecurities, fears etc..
Dont avoid hard conversations with her because if you decide to just breakup w/ her without a fight for it then she might be the one that run away and you'll figure it out 5 years when all be too late.
2nd. You may compare the relshp with how it was in the beginning. This is not fair at all. No relshp will ever stay in its honeymoon phase and nothing will ever beat that period of your relshp.
Disclaimer:
I was in a long term relsh with a guy I thought Ill marry. We were literaly a soulmates. He broke the relsh bc of fear of getting married. He cowardly ended it without wanting to work on it. He never initiated hard and emotional conversations.
Guys dont be like my ex. I know one day he'll regret everything. When that happens Ill reply on this comment and let yall know 😅.
Your ex sounds like me 😂. I was in a 5 year relationship and ended it with her cause I was scared of marriage and change. Still am too. It’s definitely hard and am trying to do better in my new relationship, but nearly ended it with her because of my fear.
@@Crunchynipps_26 uh I feel you but please start working on yourself. Ask for help if needed. This way you are compromising your own future too!
I don’t understand how ppl can be afraid of marriage but be in a long term relationship and have all the things a marriage already has except the label. Or is it that you’re with someone you don’t really want to be with? And you’re passing the time with someone else’s heart while you wait for the one?
@@stillnai I dont get it either. But its always painful because you trusted this person with your whole heart and now you got to the point of questioning everything.
that’s why love isn’t enough, make sure that you guys are compatible in your life goals too, in how you think like whether you want a marriage or prefer the freedom
I know this video is geared towards men, but I see the wisdom in it for us ladies as well. It has good insights into the man's pov.
I wish more women's life advice videos were as concise as this video.
"If you had done EVERYTHING, that means you would have got the outcome that you wanted."
That is actually quite a deep quote.
Even if that means truly exhausting everything in the relationship and coming to the realisation that things need to be ended, then even that decision is the outcome you wanted (in the end) as you have actually realised they are not the one after all and you can look for your true soulmate elsewhere.
The algorithm really being a homie with this one.
Thank you for this paramount video for me brother I wish for nothing but more success for this channel,
Thank you for being real. I felt like I had a one on one with someone my age.
I must say, what you said about being a warrior rather than a hero, will forever have an impact on my life. So grateful to have stumbled upon this video. Blessings to you good sir ❤️
This is like an oasis. Thank you for giving hope that men like you exist out there.
This channel needs more views. Thank you for this video. It is a godsend
Overthinking, anxiety, fear of past events and even the no contact I feel like I self sabotaged my relationship of 4 years after the break up.. it’s been a weird 6 months she already told me she’s done with this relationship but I think can’t stop thinking about how much I want to fix it
@@circadian_sleep were you the one who break the relsh?
@@BBartistic she did and tried to blame it on my drinking habits
@@circadian_sleephm what if ...it was your drinking 😮
Mine got all wild and strangled me the other week then panicked and called the police making it sound like he feared for his goddamn life from me
@@danaparfitt2491 it had to do with always drinking like with my boys or just after work but she asked me to stop or slow down kept lying about it and she used that to break up with me but eventually found out she’s been seeing the guy she told me not to worry about and instead of crashing out I just been focusing on me like yeah I’m mad but that’s not gonna do anything
Thank you man. Your channel is a hidden gem
Thank you for taking your time to make this. My girl and I are having a very important conversation in 2 days about where we are at. I’m very nervous and stressed but trying to stay confident that it will go well. If we weren’t having this conversation then we wouldn’t want to be in the relationship
How did it go my guy? I’m in a similar spot myself
the most difficult thing for me is battling a combination of my trust issues, past experiences/insecurities around a relationship, being too controlling because of this, but also letting my boundaries be crossed and forgiving because i hope they will change and grow. so i'm at a point of not knowing when to continue and hold on hope for change but being unsure if i will just have to forgive a mistake again or knowing what should or shouldn't be forgiven. i've lost where the line is and ive almost blurred everything for myself. relationship is 1 year 2 months or so.
i'm to the point that i'm tired of letting it have too much control over me. i have terrible anxious attachment issues and overthinking everything. i want to let go but still care.
Hi. I hope you don't mind me commenting, obviously from a female perspective. Everything you have is basically the whole issue with relationships. It's complicated, both sides have fears and it's hard to work out the complexities. My experience is that you can fiddle with the details, but you also need to look past that and drill down to the core person. Who they are, how they operate, how they see the world, and what makes them tick. And ask yourself, who will I be if I end up with this person? What will my life look like if I commit to thus person? What could we build together? What areas of tension are likely to come up? Examples, you're a planner, she is impulsive. This might cause problems. You're a saver, she's a spender. Or vice versa obviously. Then you are likely to have ongoing squabbles about money. What about how you handle hurt feelings? One of you lashes out, the other goes into long silent treatment sessions.
See what I mean? You have to get a core sense of whether your two souls are going to be fundamentally in resonance, or fundamentally at war. This is really tough, and nobody else can do it for you. Basically, what I'm saying is spend less time focusing on what's good about your connection, and take a hard look at your areas of abrasion. That's what could tear you apart, not the good bits.
Best of luck to you.
At 36years old I need to take a decision to continue down this road or to choose anther person. The looks are not all, character is key and commitment. Its hard to find this at my age
I'm 34 and it's very hard to find someone decent who's mentally and financially stable who doesn't want to F around only. I feel your pain. I want someone at my level too
Man same here. I feel like if they are willing to go through the battles then that’s a sign that you should continue working on it
46 - gonna say it's hard at this age as well.
we already ended, i just realize after time to reflect i also had a ton of problems that i simply either never realized or unfortunately didn’t see it as a problem until it was too late. We were so young when we first started dating so i hold no resentment towards either of us it was simply a lovely but also occasionally mentally exhausting relationship for us both. We live, We learn and We grow. to anyone else feeling doubt or guilt in or after a relationship just remember only you can control yourself and your reactions, don’t beat yourself up but do acknowledge criticism
Self awareness and reflection is such an important trait, good work. Hope you continue to inspire people
Much better than the other role models that are out there, keep it up!
Bonkers timing
Fr
I am a woman, and I'm crying watching this video. Thank you.
I am so happy I found this channel. I screwed up my first ever relationship of 2 years bc I wasn't able to tell her what concerns me and what I really want to do with my life and how it compares with her plans. I just tried to do my best to make her happy, even if long term it was meant to contradict my goals. By the time I understood that not talking about problems (either my or our relationship problems) and not asking for support will not play out, I've already lost the interest in her... I started to not listen to her and argue much more, stopped appreciating the time together.
I kinda blindsided her when I asked to break up first time, but we decided to try and work it out. But ultimately when we had to go long distance for a month, I realised that my life alone is... not worse at all. I actually forgot when she was returning. That moment I understood that I'll only hurt her more if I pretend to care.
Still kinda sad that I wasn't able to communicate clearly. Sometimes I wish I could return that all, since I felt like it was bound to be a fruitful relationship. But I know I most likely won't reignite the feelings in myself to put in the effort again, even if I feel loved... And the push-pull dynamic, which is bound to settle in case this backfires, seems so abhorrent to me that I don't want to try. It's been enough pain for her and me already. Guess, I just have to learn from that experience and move on (and let her move on gracefully)
For the month that passed since I'd pushed her, I thought a lot about what I did wrong. And your videos resonate a lot with my thoughts rn. They are tons better than most advice found online. And don't get me started on blackredwhateverpill youtubers. You're out of their league. Keep it up man, keep it up.
Your comment actually gave me some kind of explanation of what happened with my ex boyfriend. He couldn't tell me exactly what was wrong with the relationship. But most of what you said is what I felt happened to him and it's kind of recomforting having some sort of explanation of why he decided to break up. Because what he said was vague. He didn't have more energy or he didn't feel well. He wasn't the correct person for me. He said he loved me and he wasn't with another person in the country he had to go to work.
One friend told me that most likely he saw that he was living a good life in that beautiful island, with a good job and meeting new people and he felt free and good without me and he made the decision.
@@apBUS_amp_K thank you for writing this. I have similar experience with my ex boyfriend, he ended it. No clear reason why.
Im curious, what made you lose interest in her? Did you thought you can find someone better and in which way? Or is it something else?
@@BBartistic Mainly, I grew tired of her low self-esteem and having to constantly comfort her, even when she was dealing with day to day problems. And as I've said, I couldn't communicate it clearly for a long time. I did think that I could get someone better, but it honestly was a consequence, not a reason of my loss of interest.
@@apBUS_amp_K thank you for the answer. I must say your writing is clear and enjoyable.
Thanks for sharing, I think this gives me insight to my ex as well. I would always have to start the tough/deep convos because I was communicating what I needed in the relationship and what changes I needed. He never brought up the “hard” convos, and never really communicated what he needed. I had a feeling his long term goals weren’t aligning with mine so I would ask him about it a few times but he never gave an answer. Eventually I didn’t see the changes I wanted; the emotional connection was weakening. He wasn’t visiting me or calling me as often. This affected my self-esteem and I started wanting more reassurance. Finally I got an answer from him on his long term goal, and sure enough we didn’t align. I recently broke up with him, it’s disappointing. When I’m ready to date again, I’ll be looking for communicative and emotionally available men. ✌️
Modern people overcomplicate things. When I met my now-boyfriend he was quick to know I was the one and we are planning to get married. Dear women, a man who truly see you as his dream girl wont waste your time like that. You deserve more than a man who is unsure about you.
Do I think men shouldn't make decisions at their own timing? No. Men are free to do anything. I'm just telling women that, you shouldn't let men who don't make the best effort, have access to you be it your sex, labor, finances, and ESPECIALLY kids.
Modern people would say that I am entitled and don't deserve the great treatment that I receive from my boyfriend. Come again? Not having sex before marriage is entitlement? Yall have been lied to by progressive men.
Also by the way, your standards as a woman, MOTIVATES your man. Yes the whole "willingness to change" in a man mostly comes from you, because being with you (and keeping you) requires dedication, effort and change. Only AFTER he reaches the milestones, you can reciprocate with your natural, nurturing qualities.
Men can take their time, be unsure, do whatever but during this period they are not entitled to women's bodies and labor. Men who gets mad at this comment, think about your daughter. Imagine she's rawdogged almost every day with a possibility of her getting pregnant with a man who cannot convince both YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER that he is responsible. If you don't like the thought of that don't do it to someone else's daughter.
'Quick to know I was the one' how quick?
A lot of men that are not mentally stable get into marriage fast because once you are married, you don't easily escape, you're trapped.
So, quick is not always good.
@@susanguche good thing I require him to buy an apartement under my name. I also ask for mehr money (Islamic dowry) and I can use it as emergency. These are the conditions of marrying me. We are also gonna live apart for a while before he can bridge the gap (we live in different countries). I also continue to work, though choosing a more flexible work hours. So he knows I can quite literally run. This type of approach is still many times safer than letting a man acess you without him convinving you that he is safe.
Part of the effort required with avoidants is giving space. But constantly having to give space is so draining as an anxious... How do we solve this?
They will bond more by solving problems together than by physical closeness or oxytocin bonding. Take on a project together or find a problem to solve together, and they'll take less space. This is vasopressin hormone connection which they respond to.
@@lionnonny What kind of problems or projects? I dont think girls are into the same kind of problems to solve than guys?
@@lionnonnyThank you! May I know where you learned about this? (I want to learn too). Or is this based on personal experience?
@@ustadchen You're welcome. Adam Lane Smith.
plan some things to do together. At least if they know you meet up at a certain time of the week, they can't run away.
If they still run away from planned events, then maybe they're not the one for you
This is where I’m at in my relationship. I’m not sure if we’re on the same page as to where we are currently emotionally and physically but these are great points that you brought up. Going to analyze my situation and hope for the best. Thanks for the motivation to do so! And yeah I watched the whole video
Know thy self.
Fellas, don’t waste time when you can get the feeling that she’s one of the good ones. I wasted so much time, and now she’s moved on. I am so broken inside I want her back, but I hurt her in a lot of ways. Be better than me guys 😔 learn from my mistake, and if you feel sparks and know she’s worth it, then do everything you can to keep her and don’t waste a minute ❤️
Damn but I could have used this 2 years ago. This is a good message to spread!
It would be great to date a guy who fallows advice of your video :) I've never experienced that unfortunately. But now I know my ex bfs just didn't want to create the best relationship for us.
This is my new favorite self help channel. Your wisdom resonates with me as I feel like I have recently come to these revelations myself and to hear it put so eloquently by someone such as yourself gives me confidence I am moving in the right direction. I wish I had learnt these lessons when I was with my ex, but now I know I will never repeat the same mistakes again.
I’m a woman and I watch this whole video till the end and I really wish every man would understand this if they did I wouldn’t have ended so many relationships and be on the continual search for the right kind of man
What A Legend, iconic timing
Can every dude on this earth be like this and use their brain a bit more 🙏🏽✨ I’m a girl but this video still helps thank you for the information
I honestly wish my ex would have seen this video half a year ago. Even if he would have come to the conclusion to break up anyway, at least he would have had to think about it and really sit with it (instead of whatever the f.. his way of handling things was)
The last point hit hard.
Can I just say something here, please? At around the 3:45 mark, he’s talking about sitting down and having a serious talk with a significant other. He says, “if she gives you some half asked response, than that tells you everything you need to know.”
Personally, I am a fearful avoidant and confrontations like this make me very, VERY nervous. I tend to deflect in many situations or change the subject. It’s not because I don’t love my partner any less…… it’s just because I’m not good at talking about/ discussing emotions and feelings. Please don’t think that’s “a sign” just try a different approach. Thank you
I like your idea of hero vs. warrior but wish you had delved a bit deeper into those concepts because (as a woman who dates men, and who also displays these archetypes sometimes--because I think it's a very human tendency) I think there is something very important missing from what you mention. It is crucial to learn honest vulnerability in an adult manner. To keep your immature childish self in check while tuning into childlike vulnerability.
The immature childish self is entitled, arrogant and demanding. Which is unattractive regardless of gender or sexual orientation. No one wants to parent their partner, and it's not a fair expectation.
The authentic vulnerable childlike self on the other hand: admits pain and asks for help. Gives their partner the option to help, realizes that no one owes them anything, but also realizes that if we never open ourselves to the possibility of being hurt, and never reveal our most tender parts--we will never fully connect with anyone.
Women (and most people) do not like crocodile tears, or people who constantly pretend to be on top of everything and shut us out all the time in order to create an overly idealized image of themself. It may create lust in the short term, but it's also a barrier to intimacy if it becomes the entire relationship dynamic.
Being in a good relationship is a constant balancing act, and nobody's perfect, so let's be kind to ourselves and each other while we're on this bizarre and confusing journey we call life.
A lot of the things you say are specific to male problems in the 21st century and I respect the way you break issues down for men and boys. On the other hand, like others have mentioned: many of the things you mention are also applicable to everybody!
basically you are from another better planet, i only meet guys who want to put as little effort as they can. it is so frustrating, because all i want as a woman is actually a gut who will be sure
I was in a very good relationship but only put in 10% of the effort & she left because of my fear of letting people in.
I had a chance to give it my best & I let her slip away.
She left Tuesday August 27th.
Go get her back and let her in 🖤🙏🏾
Mann this is soo me, I needed this soo much.....Ive recently started learning this about myself. I want to say this is crazy how on time this was! A lot of this stuff that is straight up is very needed. Much appreciated
Its nice hearing others affirm the conclusions you have independently come to.
Was just telling someone the other day that women think they want "freedom" but what they want is a man they respect and someone they TRUST to make good decisions.
If you dont trust them to make good decisions, you will never truly respect them nor will you have a true partner or be able to truly relax with them.
But women are so unwilling to give control because men are letting us down and not proving that we can trust them
(And on the flip side, some women are trusting the wrong men who let them down over and over!)
We as a society need strong trustworthy men!!
Yes I want him to lead not rule; to make decisions.
Best video I’ve seen on TH-cam in a while!
Thank You for that video, and this hard truth... I am currently in a relationship and we almost break up, but we talked and wanted to try again. Those words that I thought I did A LOT but I didn't really .. struck me. I am very bad overthinker and cant believe that someone like Her can love someone like me .. thats fking hard man. Thank You for that video
I'm unsure if I'm ready for a relationship in my current life, I'm not even quite 18 yet and I have found an amazing woman but I feel so undeveloped In the rest of my life. I feel like I need to level up for some time before I find the right time to commit to a relationship. Maybe I'm weak, Maybe I'm insecure. Maybe I'm just confused between my wants and my emotions.
From 17-21 I was in a relationship where I leveled up the most, don’t let that stop you - right person will help you grow
@@Jordandacosta25 Thank you sir.
@@ashtonnnnnnn follow your heart mate, back then in 2015 there was no manosphere online just go with your head 💪
this video is exactly what i needed to hear right now.
I loved this video 😊 thank you for doing this work
Thank you, 100% correct 👏🏻
My bf of 18 months, is a massive procrastinator. He delays every single task he has to do and of course that affects our relationship.
We are still young, 4th year in university. He hasn't worked yet nor went to military (where i live its mandatory for men to go there for 6months). So I hope that when he goes through these he'll mature and change his habits. Be on time. Have a plan. Have goals and actually achieve them without moaning about being unlucky when in actuality he's just lazy!
Sometimes I think by just telling him what the problem is, that things will change and that's not true
But I love him to death, and I recognise that I am imperfect too, in so many ways...
Im saying this from experience, dont date someone because of how you hope they might change. Dont date someone based on one potential of who they might be. Its wasting both peoples time. He will only change into what he wants to if he wants to.
@@abigailchristenson388 thank you for that! I needed to hear this!!!
@@ονειρο-μ2ω i wish someone had told me that before i wasted 3 years of my life lol. Best of luck 🫶
I had doubts ,I gave all my soul..found out..evrything was a lie from someone close to her who is also my brother's future wife.she told me the truth about my ex...done with love and bs
Sorry to hear that, man. Genuine question: when you look back now with the rose coloured glasses off, are there any signs that you missed? Is there nothing that you can learn from that experience, and apply that information to a new framework from which you can safeguard against dishonesty? I've said I'm done with love before. We all know there's no end to love, though. All we can do is try to get better at it.
Don't lose sight of the fact that it was just that one person and not all of them. Real love is out there and it is better to than to never at all. Sincerely a person who was also done with love and BS.
I love this. I hope he doesn’t doubt it. I want to still make it work
Thank you, man.
Epic. Convicting. Inspiring. Admirable.
Wonderful energy in the video. Tha k you for your openess🙏it allows connection
Hey, keep it up 👍 precious advice. I am begining to follow your videos.
Thank you, King.
Wow my brother just wow. Literally a message from god to me. Beautiful video, thank you.
Gutes Video, sind ähnliche Punkte, die nach 1,5 Jahren bei mir auch deutlich besser geworden sind. Passt perfekt🙏🏼
So much respect for you man
I needed this video, thanks.
What to do when your partner still did not trust you when you tried to prove yourself by responding in time and satisfying his needs, never cheating and allowing him to check my phone whenever he asked?
Its his own problem then
Sounds like a him problem. If he's unwilling or unable to trust you, then ask yourself if you are willing to be in a relationship with an untrusting man. If not, leave posthaste
Might be time to move on. Unless he decides to work on himself and get better. You've done all that you can do it seems.
Thank you
Thank you man
Thank you man , i love you
Good advice..and i am a woman..soms things applies to me too..thanks!❤
Thank you Sir
thanks man, true hard words
Thank you
I love this guy ´s perspective on relationships and the dynamic between masculine and feminine energies he explains. I would love to be in such a relationship and i do want to do my part and learn. Does anybody know about any female mentor with similar philosophy on love? Thanx🧡
so insightful. thank u sm
Hi brother, appreciate your videos youre awesome, have this dilemma here, I’m moving out the country for the next 2 years to Germany actually hahaha so I decided to break up with her, it sucked to make that choice because I love her but I knew that it was the best for both, she was willing to do long distance but the problem is that I’m not sure if I’ll ever comeback and she’s not sure if she wants to move in with me, talking about your 4th point, I know that I probably could’ve given more and continue with the relationship but when do you know it is better to probably end it and continue with your life? we both agreed to keep our contacts and to try it again if things work our way in the future but still want to be with her although I know that it is healthier to break up.
19:27 wow ❤
thanks bro!
Great video!
Good advice.
Do you guys have an exemple of checklists you used?
I would like some advice
i have talked to my girl about her going to bars and that i dont like it but she decides not to care saying that she does not want to be at home like a prisoner.
How should i aproach this?
What could i do differently
It sounds like you guys want and have different expectations and wants in your relationship. A follow up question would be, does she take you to the bar with her or at least invite you. Are there drinking problems present? If she doesn’t care about your opinion, then that’s a pretty red flag in and of itself. Just my opinion, hope your problems get sorted out!
I only get invited when i ask she does not even think about it and tbh she has not given me any reason to think she would cheat and she usualy goes with 1 or max 2 friends and it is basically all she does other then work, shopping and going to the gym, so at the same time it is the only time she can turn her mind off@@ryandowd7108
I think the reason why she does not invite me is because i have told her that i dont like places like that, it is just a waste of time and money to me, i would rather build skills or progress in some way rather then get drunk for the fuck of it@@ryandowd7108
I’m making an assumption here that you’re insecure about her going to bars in case she meets other guys or has fun without you? I make that assumption just because it isn’t really up to you what other ppl enjoy as a hobby, plus she’s referring to home as a prison. Make sure your focus in this relationship is on loving her, not just not losing her, because she will feel this and it will be like a self-fulling prophecy where you push her away. And careful with expecting her to do things just to make you feel comfortable as this leads to isolation and can strip your partner of their identity and passion. Look at your own insecurities as that’s the real issue here, if my assumptions are correct but even if they aren’t like I said it’s not your place to dictate others’ hobbies. If you are more trusting of her, you will see the relationship improve. And she will trust you more too.
@@stillnai I agree with you but not the part of referring going out in bars as a hobby. Going out isnt a hobby.
Of course I get this video after I screw everything up 😢
This is the way
Har har "get the fuck off my channel" 😂
Wish he saw this for me
wish I had this video 3 years ago 😂😂😢
ＢＯＹＳ listen it plz !!! good video for boys 👍
Please make videos for women too
Hello, there is anyone out there like this guy, single and wanna date me? 😅
"Good decisions are not made with more time, but with more information." So true 🫡
Could've used this 2 months ago
It's never too late to reach out, still, the sooner, the better
This video is ace, but sometimes situations are meant to fizzle out. Ultimately a TH-cam video shouldn’t b difference between relationship working or not 😢