Sitting here nursing my 3rd baby while my husband is outside playing with our two toddlers. Bawling. I feel everything Shaun is saying. Being a mom is such a hard, beautiful & sanctifying journey. Praying for lots of joy for you & lots of grace for yourself ❤
You touched on SUCH AN IMPORTANT POINT: Depression (prenatal, postpartum, or otherwise) is not a choice, it is not from a lack of gratitude, or lack of resources. You didn’t choose to be depressed. Its not because you weren’t prepared enough. It’s not your fault. Period. Depression is biological, chemical (hormonal), and very much out of our hands. We can try to be preventative but it doesn’t mean it won’t* happen. The thing that stood out for me when I had prenatal (and post) depression and had suicidal ideation was that every doctor and nurse who I told asked me, “was this pregnancy planned?” This just reinforces this idea that depression is from a “lack” of planning, or being prepared, and that we* (mothers) didn’t do something to prevent it. We need to change the narrative. We should be hearing: “you’re suffering and it’s not your fault. I can help you and you will get through this” from our caregivers. Not a question that implies that you accidentally got pregnant so that’s why you’re sad. Thank you Shaun for being so vulnerable and sharing your story! ❤ you’re impacting so many lives. Suicide is the leading cause of maternal death during the perinatal phase of life. (Pregnancy and a year after birth). So many women and their children and families could be saved from so much heart ache and pain just by having more information and destigmatizing mental health. Thank you Andrew for your vulnerability as well. So many partners/fathers are impacted so greatly in this time as well and don’t address it. Your love for your wife is so apparent, you’re a wonderful husband and dad. You made it ❤
💜I wasn't there, so of course I can't be 100% sure of the intent, but as a health professional who provides health care to new Moms and their babies, I/ we ask that Q as part of the screening for PND - def not to blame the mom for not planing the pregnancy. 💜
Thank you for doing a podcast on postpartum depression!! It was not talked about when I had my daughters almost 20 years ago. I couldn’t clean, (which is strange because I have OCD really bad), I couldn’t cook, I just wanted to be left alone in a dark house with the blinds shut, and suicide idealization!! I was told that I was a bad wife, that I was disgusting because I couldn’t bring myself to clean, and worthless!! NO ONE talked about postpartum depression.(I’m remarried now, thank God!) I didn’t realize that I had it until TH-cam channels started talking about it. Keep spreading awareness🤗
So glad you’re happy and they’re talking about it too. Sharing bc understanding mental health conditions and struggles is so important: OCD means you have intrusive thoughts and then compulsions because of them. People who prefer clean spaces or get anxious most often have anxiety not OCD. Lots of people with OCD actually have messy spaces or houses. The only way it would be linked is if your intrusive thoughts are linked to the compulsion of cleaning. Example- if my house is messy my mom will die in a car crash. So I have to clean BECAUSE if not my mom will die and it will be my fault. Or If this carpet isn’t vacuumed daily someone will be murdered bc of it. Unless your cleaning comes from that type of thought/compulsion cycle it’s not actually OCD.
@@jaord530 Love hearing your opinion on this, but I don’t think what you have said fully explains all of OCD. I see a psychiatrist monthly for my mental health. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Extreme Anxiety, and OCD. I was first diagnosed when I was 13 years old, and I am now 38 years old. How my OCD works is that I have to do a certain task, (for example locking the door the correct way), a certain number of times. If I don’t do this, I will think that it’s not done correctly, and will have to continuously repeat the process until it is. With cleaning, I will have to clean the stove a certain way. I will have to sweep the floor in the exact direction it’s “supposed” to be swept, which is towards our garage because it’s dusty. I do not like messes. Not only does the OCD take over at times, but my anxiety couples with the OCD, which makes me clean harder! Furthermore, I have not had any intrusive thoughts about my family passing away, or something bad happening to them since I was in my teens.. I will say that I am aware of some OCD patients having unclean houses, but just because some do, does not mean all! I really hope this broadened your understanding on this subject😊
One of my best friends created a podcast called "Quiet Connection" to try give people a place to talk anout and hear about postpartum mental health. I am so glad it is being more widly talked about for our generation and generations to come. Thank you for using your platform to talk about it.
This was a great episode. Your honesty about how blessed you are but also admitting that things are still hard was refreshing and relatable. Andrew’s advice about continuing to show up every day and know this is just a phase was spot on as well. My husband and I celebrate 15 years of marriage tomorrow. It’s not always easy but it’s always worth it.💜
Shaun, you seemed so uncomfortable through this. It's not a sign of weakness! And I don't think it means you're not past it if talking about it makes you cry. Crying doesn't mean you're still clinically depressed, but you're processing what a painful time it's been. I hope you both continue to feel better and better, and I hope you both know what a positive video you just put out. Your kids are so lucky to have you as are we your listeners.
Yes? She’s definitely still in it! I am too and my son is almost 2. Maternity is hard either if you have the whole town helping you. With your mind no one can help you but you ❤
What a beautiful, honest, vulnerable p, and deeply personal description of your experience with ppd. I also suffered from this with my third, while raising my two other very young children, and going through a painful divorce. God is so good though and He was with me through it all. God bless you both.
I'm in tears watching the true love between the two of you. The way you held hands and at the end how you really looked at each other and really said I Love You. Andrew is right, today may not have gone the way you wanted but tomorrow is a new day and you show up, ready to be the best you can be for God, yourself and your family
Thank you for speaking out! I had PPD after my first. I recognized right away(within a week or so), told my husband, he told my mom, I contacted my doctor and got help right away thankfully. It was such a dark place. It probably took me a year to be comfortable telling people about it. Definitely felt a stigma with it but now when I see a mom struggling a tell them my experience. You don't know what it feels like if you've never gone thru it. With my second I had a plan in place to help with it and thankfully I didn't have it with him!
I had the baby blues with my first baby when I was 23 years old. With my 2nd and 3rd babies, I had no issues. Now, with my 4th pregnancy and baby at 45 years old, my body was so out of whack. I faced post partum psychosis and was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, then they changed it to adjustment disorder and now I know it was post partum psychosis. It lasted literally 9 months. I was hospitalized twice for my mental lapse. But I think in my case it's a mix of premenopause symptoms. I'm just learning about the phases of it all and the more knowledgeable I become, the more things make sense as I'm coming to know myself better. Women's health needs to be talked about more than ever before. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. 😘
I don't know how you two held it together as long as you did. The vulnerability an love is so amazing. Thank you for always bringing Couple Things to the forefront
Over here crying. I have 3 as well. And I agree, those first few months in that transition are soooo hard. You are figuring out this new baby while still have these precious toddlers that need and want you. You hyper focus on this baby and lose yourself and everyone trying to be super mom. Y’all are amazing ! It gets better I promise!! Motherhood is NO JOKE. Your marriage will only be stronger y’all are just going through the trenches now. It feels very isolating as a mom being left behind while dad and toddlers go out but now I have 6,4, and 2 year old and finally able to all be together and have fun!
This is the best episode you’ve ever done! I love your goofy episodes, your celebrations and triumphs, and the information you often share, but in this episode you demonstrated wisdom and grace! I hope other couples will emulate your humility and perseverance in their own marriages as they go through the dark times. As a former pediatric nurse and the mother of a medically challenging child, I know how the dark times can pull couples apart! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest with us!
Shawn I also think your perfection with gymnastics from a very young age added to this. You work so hard with your new baby to try to help them and nothing works. I have a daughter who is 51 and she had colic for a very long time. I was also , 18, and #4 of nine. I felt with all the babies i grew up with that i was a failure. I know I was depressed but couldn't talk to anyone about it. That was scary and devastating. I want to thank you so much for talking about your experience. Both of you...It will help so many experiencing frustration, guilt, and pain right now today. Asking for help is the most important step...glad you are feeling better..❤😢❤
I think this might be my favorite episode you guys have done. Not for the topic (because postpartum is HARD), but because of you guys's interaction. The understanding, the grace, the building each other up, the helping each other, the long-suffering, the love. Wow. Such a beautiful testimony of faithfulness to the vows "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health." Thankful to the Lord for bringing you guys through such a difficult valley, making you stronger on the other side.
Even through your own pain and struggle. Never apologize for crying or working through things with your spouse. The fact that you could be yourself on this podcast that needs to be talked about more. It just shows how you both have had to learn to communicate with each other even with therapy help through difficult times and it’s perfectly ok to do so. The fact that you do whatever is necessary for your own mental states and your family is what it’s about and sharing this with the world is what we need and others need. I commend you both so very much for this. I also will keep you both and your families in my prayers because that’s what we do when our friends and families need support. I consider you friends even though you don’t know me. If anything we are all family through our father God. Much love and sending big hugs. 🙏🙏🤗🤗🥰🥰
Shawn, I literally cried when you said you felt like you had too much support to be allowed to feel this way. Your experience is valid and you deserve quality care/treatment. PPD is a medical condition that can happen to anyone, including people with self-described "bougie" lives. I hope that each day continues to get a little easier, and when you come out on the other side of this (and you WILL come out on the other side of this!), you'll be able to look back and see clearly that none of this is your fault and that your family still loves you through your darkest hours. And as always, your vulnerability on this podcast is giving others permission to open up about their experiences as well - thank you. Wishing all the best for both of you!
Thank you for sharing your experience!! I delt with a hard time not with my baby but my partner! We were together 8 years before having kids and I felt like we had a very strong connection and communication system. After having our second boy 18 months apart it was a hard transition for us. I felt anger towards him. And felt we were never on the same page. It's a hard season that makes us all stronger! I am so happy you are feeling better Shawn!! I love your guys family!🩵🥰
This is all so valid and sooo relatable! Currently 5 months postpartum with my third and man each experience is so unique and has it's own challenges. Love how real you both are with your sharing. Only podcast I've ever really listened to and stuck with ❤
Shawn & Andrew....Thank You!! Thank you for being just like so many parents out there. I am so sorry Shawn that you felt this way. Your LOVE for each other is just so breathtaking. I have a granddaughter going thru postpartum depression and this is her 3rd baby too. I think she needs to watch this podcast so she knows she is not alone. Andrew your LOVE for Shawn is so undeniable!! You can surely see that her pain is your pain. You both make a tremendous team!! Your babies will be and are amazing little humans because they have 2 beautiful parents to model life for them. I wish a lot of parents could watch you 2....they could learn a lot as well as learning how to love and support one another. ❤Thank you for being so raw, vulnerable and forthright with the good, the bad, the ugly and the absolute beautiful. Love you both 💞
I'm so glad you included adopted parents in this topic. I was 40 years old when we adopted my daughter in 2015. She was out 2nd child and I set out to prove to myself that I could be better this time with no sleep than I did the first time. NOPE.... I was equally the same with no sleep with both biological son and adopted daughter. Which at that time, all I could think is how horrible of a mom I must be. I would be in a great mood one minute and then crying the next minute. Things didn't get better until she started sleeping through the night. I didn't relate it to ppd at that point, but maybe it was.
I am 9 months pp with my second and I went through the darkest, most intense season of my life. I can’t even put it into words because of how traumatizing it was. I’m out of it now, but thinking back on that season still makes me emotional because I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t go outside, be around people, I could hardly shower because the water hitting the wall would send me into a spiral (still managed regardless), and I couldn’t do basic things around the house because I would shake from panic. I would have extreme dread when my husband would leave and the fight or flight mode was CONSTANT. Thank you for sharing your story! You explained it so well! Praying for you and for all the other postpartum mommas who are going through something similar. And if you’re a mom who is going through this, it WILL pass. You’re not crazy or a bad mom. You’re doing your best! Just give yourself grace
PPD is so intense. I had it with my first son. I felt like I missed a lot of his infancy. Medication worked for me and I did not have it the second time. Thank you for sharing
My parenting journey of babies included one colicky, one ball full of energy, one chatty and the miracle of seeing them grow means more than the world to me! My mother and husband took care of me till I could admit to myself what was going on and get help. I absolutely love them and my larger support system. I can’t imagine missing out on any of it. I’m so gratefully blessed. Thank you all for sharing!! You are so brave!
I had post-partum anxiety and depression with both of my babies.....so much (life or death) worse after my second baby. Everything you described about the experience (dark hole, being on an island, through the window, etc.) is exactly how I would describe my experience. I didn't choose ppd, it chose me. I also had the same feelings about shame because I had "life" so good and tons of family support, wonderful husband, etc. I felt like I wasn't allowed to "feel" that way. Thank y'all so much for speaking out about post-partum depression. Definitely encouraging. It does get better.
THANK YOU!!!!!! For being so honest, so vulnerable, and for sharing all this. Don't apologize for any of it. Our daughter is going to be 2 in just a short few weeks, but the newborn stage was the hardest, most difficult experience my husband and I ever went through. My anxiety was through the roof for the first 10 months, she had "colic", gas, and screaming for hours and hours, and I have never experienced anything like it. Hearing people share their experience is so freeing. It's like a virtual hug....not sure how else to explain it. And even though it's a "short" time in the grand scheme of things, it still seems like forever when you're going through it. You guys are amazing individuals and parents, and I so appreciate you putting it all out there ❤
Thanks for talking about this. Having the conversation and getting support is so important. I had two c sections, and the recovory alone was hard, but I felt like I was failing in every way and not knowing why, it was so hard.
I 100% understand what Shawn is communicating here (22:52). The thing is bringing children into the world is difficult for everyone regardless of our circumstances or what resources we have at our hands. Please know you're not alone! Not everyone experiences this darkness but several do. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Shawn, I feel your pain. I’m not a mother, but I’ve experienced aunt guilt which has given me small insight into Mom guilt. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. Blaming yourself. Not getting the support from doctors that you needed. You did EVERYTHING right. I am certain of that. ❤❤❤
So glad you did a podcast on this. It’s not talked about enough. I went through horrible postpartum with my second baby. It was horrible!!!! Luckily I got help and took care of it. This is something that needs a lot more awareness!!!!!
13:48 colic is no joke. My first had it and I was a shell of a person for months. It still affects me to this day. It can truly be a traumatic experience. It’s not the baby’s or parent’s fault, it’s just incredibly difficult.
Thank you for your raw honest vulnerability, love you guys!! This episode was so emotional for me, it reminded me of those dark feelings and thoughts that come with depression, it feels like such a dark hole and digging yourself out and surviving then thriving is like reaching the mountain top that you never thought you’d reach!!
What an incredible amount of courage you both have to share these intimate feelings and emotions. Thank you. I’m 55 years old and had a colicky baby 29 years ago and what Shawn described going through felt like a crushing memory of feeling returning to me. You did good sister! Wrapping you in a hug!
Thanks for sharing your experience! My son was born in October and I felt exactly like you. He also was colicky. I only started to feel like myself the last 3 months or so. My husband felt similarly to me. When I think logically about it, I think anyone who is extremely sleep deprived and listening to crying 24/7 would feel this way. You’re not alone!
As hard as this must have been to record and share, thank you for being so genuine and honest about your experiences. Andrew speaks so eloquently and vulnerably about his love and relationship with Shawn and his kids, and Shawn in turn offers her raw experience to show that no one is immune to PPD. Having PPD after my first baby, I relate so much to this-the upset of feeling like I should be happy and loving every second with baby, when yet, the challenges left me feeling everything but that. Now, I feel like a new person and look back and realize that it wasn’t and isn’t me, but PPD at work. So thank you both, for offering a unique perspective of a wildly successful and popular couple who are human and imperfect, fighting for love and growth in this crazy ride.
Love hearing the experience from both sides. I think you can have all the resources, support, love etc, and post partum depression can still hit you - and hard. As a mother, there is always an internal pressure for perfection and “knowing” the right things to do at all times, and also being able to be your own person and that really feeds depression on top of the hormone changes that impact you as a human. I think a century ago, parents experienced this but maybe weren’t self aware enough to recognize it or it was internalized and now more people are aware and see the red flags. I think implementing ways to combat it is great and also being mindful that it might not help you get out of it faster, but it will help you get through it little by little. There is always an end to it no matter how dark and lonely it feels
Thank you for bringing awareness to something so many women deal with❤ You are both so valid in your feelings but you also help so many people feel validated with their feelings. We love you!😭💕
This was absolutely amazing. I cried through quite a bit as you put words to my own thoughts and feelings I’ve been battling - I’m 3 mo PP also with my third. Thank you for sharing. Sending to my husband to listen to because this sounded exactly like us. He’s been my biggest fan through it all but I know it hasn’t been easy. Prayers and love to you all 🤍
Thank you for being willing to be SO vulnerable with us. I learned so much from watching this and my youngest "baby" is 20 years old. I just kept seeing you on the trampoline, covered in snow and doing flips and it meant so much more....especially after hearing your experiences today. This is something I will share with my kids when they enter this season of life. Again, thx for sharing. ~ Heather Aston (aka Mama🐻 Aston)
Oh my gosh, I had to take a break. Completely heart wrenching to hear. You speak of your inward thoughts, Shawn and seeing Andrew's face and hearing him say he wanted to help you. 😢😢
Man, this hit all the ways I felt and my husband felt after having my babies with PPD. Thank you for sharing. I’m on the other side now, but I cried my way through this video. This video is going to help so many parents.
I love watching y’all and hearing your story on PPD I was crying with Shawn and I love how Andrew reach to comfort you and it was so touching !! I appreciate y’all and I’m so glad that y’all are doing better 💙❤️💗💙💙
This made me cry. Can relate to what Shawn shared so much. The isolation and neglecting yourself. You want to be taken care of but even if people wanted to they couldn’t because you have to be the caretaker. My heart goes out to every mom who goes through this, priveleged or not.
Oh my goodness! Hearing Shaun talking it’s describing exactly how I felt 16 years ago with my first and only child. So good to hear more voices talking about this. It felt like a taboo years ago. Prayers for your family and for my own experience I know this will pass and will make your marriage and family stronger. 🤗
I’m a mental health professional who also experienced PPD with my first, and likely only child as I’m not sure I can go through that again. It is so incredibly hard, and hard to communicate. When you said “I just wanted to curl up in a ball and say someone help me”, that broke me because it’s exactly how it feels. But you feel guilty needing or wanting help when this little human is relying on you for their every need you “have” to be okay, or that’s what your brain tells you. I didn’t come clean to my husband about my PPD until I was over a year post partum. It’s so isolating regardless of what you’re surrounded with. Thank you for speaking out, there are so many women who need to hear this. Sending you love as you continue to navigate this journey. 🤍
31 weeks tomorrow and so excited to meet our little man in September! 💙 This topic has definitely been on my mind though as someone who has walked through a season of depression in the past and has been trying to let go of anxious thoughts. Your open honesty is helpful for knowing what thoughts and feelings might come and that there is hope at the end of it.
The numbers are higher now because people are being diagnosed right. Years ago a lot of women had it but they didn’t even had a name for it and a lot of women were overlooked or even told they were overreacting. Thank you so much for talking about PPD. I also looked all over TH-cam and found little resources and women need this support.
Everything feels so very difficult during depression…you feel like you’re trying to walk through mud. I felt overwhelmed and exhausted…along with the guilt you described because you can’t do or feel better. I had ppd with my 1st baby and then really struggled with my 4th who also had feeding difficulties. Thanks for sharing this ❤
Thank you so much Shawn for sharing your story. It touched me deeply and made me, and I bet for so many women too, feel less alone in those feelings. Thank you again and blessings for you and your family ❤
This was my husband and my experience as well. I feel your grief in all you missed and lost in that time. I’m so glad you’re healing and sharing. You will feel whole again. I promise.
This is such an important conversation! I’ve experienced PPD 2 out of 3 pregnancies and they both were sooo different. Moms need to know they’re not alone and how common this is. Thank you for sharing!
I understand what Shawn went through because I've been through the same experience. Two and a half years later, I would say I'm 95% better. I went from telling my husband I wasn't sure I could have another child to now eagerly wanting a baby. This transformation is a testament to the Lord's grace and favor, and I credit my recovery to His love for me. At one point, I didn't think I would survive, but here I am. I still deal with some related PTSD, which is expected after such trauma. However, I'm grateful for the journey my postpartum depression (PPD) and anxiety (PPA) took me on. It allowed me to reconnect with my faith in a more loving and gracious way, and it's now a topic my family and I are aware of. Shawn, I know it's a challenging journey, but you can overcome it. Overall, more good came from it than bad, and I want anyone reading this to know there's hope for recovery, as I am living proof. Shawn if you ever want to talk, I know you have all the support in the world, but if you just want to talk to someone you can relate to, I am here. Dm me.
This made me cry!! Mum of 4, and this hit hard!! I’m so glad you feel better Shawn. And you both are such a power couple xxx yous got through this hurdle together and that is incredibly special xxx
This was so good. PPD is so hard. I was in a fog for a year with my first. Counseling really helped me. Pain also can just cause you to go into a deep pit. There is no way to plan for it but understanding other people go through it, makes it bearable. Thank you for speaking out. And it is okay if you aren’t completely out of it. Human emotions are like waves…you just have to hang on when their low and wait for it to pass. I am so thankful God held me during those times. It was very scary and it is so nice that it isn’t forever. It will pass. It does.
Thank you for this! I have never been so low as I was with my post partum experience. It’s been 15 months and I am just starting to feel somewhat myself again.
I went through ppd with my 1st. when I was pregnant with my second, my husband and I talked about beforehand, was what I needed from him and what to look for or what to do to get me help. Ppd is not weakness but it shows how strong you truly are. Forgive yourself for hurt you believe you caused.
I had PPA which lead to PPD with my 3rd during Covid. I have never felt farther for myself and couldn’t sleep. A friend told me it was like being in the narrows of a river feeling like you can’t find your way out but you keep going and eventually see the light again. I kept that thought everyday and along with some meds and got through it. Hugs to you!
Thank you guys for sharing your story❤ I feel like post partum depression or rage is so hard because you're told as a parent being tired is normal and hormonal changes and fluctuations are normal which they are. For me I knew i didn't feel like myself but until I was mostly through it I didn't realize how bad things were when you're deep into those feelings in the moment. I remember my spouse asking well why didn't you ask for help or why didn't you say something was wrong and I didn't feel like something was wrong because I didn't know any better and in the thick of it you brush things off and only become hyper focused on your baby.
This was the greatest episode. I've never felt more seen. You guys are so amazing to each other, it's incredibly inspiring. So glad the light is starting to shine for you again ❤
Thank you, for sharing, helping new families navigate life. Something in my era that was not available, but needed. Sharing is caring, enjoy your podcast! Never be sorry.
I am hearing you say my own thoughts out loud after I had baby #2. Thank you for being vulnerable and helping the community of parents feel not alone in these times
Wow,it has been 34 years for me, I really had all the feels. I have 3 grand babies by my daughter (3 under 3) and preparing for the next one. I hope it does not get that extreme for them, but if it does,I saved this and will send to her. Gonna learn to not take it personal if the emotions run their gamete, just be there as much as possible for them next time. Best podcast yet!
Thank you for sharing your story. Dont ever feel quilt for having ppd. It's so hard having a colic baby. My son was colic and under weight. He was born early was in the NICU for about 4 weeks and my milk ever came in due to the stress. I thought maybe if i didn't through my pregnancy would have given him more time. Rich or poor everyone has experiences and feelings. Your amazing and did the best you could.
This was powerful, guys. Seriously! Had me crying with you, but I’m genuinely inspired to share more of my postpartum experiences now. Y’all are precious! Very proud of you!
Thank you for doing a post on this and talking about it. I know it’s always not fun and kinda can be awkward but I really appreciate sharing your insight for moms to unite as well. We’re all in this together and just trying to make it for our babies!
We raised 5 kids. Our 3rd baby was by far those hardest! We are our worst critics. We expect 100% of ourselves. We have to give ourself grace and know that 20 % at times is ok! Bless you!
I told my husband (we are now divorced) that I loved our son and our daughter, but I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That I felt like I was going crazy and needed help. He walked out of the room, telling me I was just being hormonal (he is an RN). Literally shattered me to pieces. Because it took everything in me to even say those words. I was asking for help and he walked away. It’s a moment that still breaks my heart. I always check on my postpartum mama’s even after three years because you can still have postpartum depression into the third year. I remind the dads that they can always ask for help. And I’ll talk to them about the warning signs. Because even if you know the signs, once you’re in it, you can’t really see it. It’s too close.
Loved this episode.I too suffered PPD with both my daughters (they are now 30 & 25) With my second daughter I was hospitalized in the psychiatric unit and put on antidepressants.I knew I needed help but I felt like I was in the wrong place for it.I wish I would have been with other women going through the same thing.After two weeks I started feeling happy again and went home.We would've liked to try for a boy but we had two beautiful healthy daughters and neither one of us wanted to go through PPD again.Keep your head up Shawn each day gets better! You have a beautiful family ❤
The two of you together have created a beautiful family. And I think you both are so good at putting your relationship first. Because if you don’t do that, you can’t raise well adjusted and happy kids.
This was the most beautiful, most honest episode, and yet I'm sure it was not easy being this vulnerable for all of us!! Sending you both so much love.
Such a tough subject but to see/hear you address this with such honesty and grace is awesome and needed to help others empathize and support loved ones going through it! Thank you
Oof. This one hurt. Our first was colic for months. You saying you felt ashamed was the most spot on thing. I couldn’t ever put a word on it. I’ve crushed everything in my life, & I work very hard. I too focused on “fixing” & couldn’t focus on anything else for a long time. He’s just about 2 & im honestly afraid of another baby but also think we can do anything now 😅 but we’re here! & so happy you’re on the other side. & so appreciative of you talking about this. I always liked the phrase my baby didn’t cause this, my need to fix & care to have a happy baby when everyone else’s baby was so happy & calm was the hardest part ❤
Not someone who usually comments. It hit me when Shawn said “someone help me!” I feel that way baby #3, I have 2 toddlers and baby is almost 4 months i’m burned out but really I’m depressed. This is really a reality check for me.
Thank you for sharing. I think that's also a big thing that people think PPD is just wanting to do harm or not wanting your child. It's WAY more then that, including anxiety. ❤
Infancy period with a baby who is unsettled/colic/etc is BRUTAL. The lack of ability to connect, bond, and form attachment with your new baby is the most unsettling feeling ever. Your story is so similar to ours, and so many others who go through infancy with a baby with colic. (Or whatever term one might use) The endless crying makes mama feel like she can’t connect and begin to know her own baby. The bonding is slow and truly baby steps. For me, I felt it played out like this. - A baby who can’t connect, bond with, and form an attachment with its mother, doesn’t feel safe, settled, and secure. A baby who doesn’t feel safe, settled, and secure, doesn’t sleep. This cycle for mama is almost unbearable. It rips you up from the inside, and the feelings of guilt, failure, stress, anxiety, and shame, are a massive weight. Now that my baby and I are truly connected, bonded, and in love, I can honestly finally say without shame, that it took her and I almost a whole year to truly fall in love. Almost a whole year! A year of still having doubt and anxiety regarding our bond, and how it would effect her later in life. All this to say, it was the hardest time I’ve gone through. A big A men to this podcast topic. So important for moms to hear this who are going through it
I had ppd with both of my boys. My first didn’t get officially diagnosed by a doctor but my sister is a clinical social worker and and was very confident that’s what I was dealing with. It lasted until he was about 7-8 months old. My second I was pretty sure I was experiencing it again and I was diagnosed by a doctor when my youngest was about 3 months old I didn’t start medication right away I wanted another 2 months. That was in 2021 and I didn’t come off the medication until October of last year. Thank you for talking about this because like you said it’s not something that’s talked about very often and it needs to be.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I struggled soo badly with PPD with a colicky baby and the guilt that came along with it.. I felt like no one could relate and people would think I was ungrateful for my baby. It broke my heart..
Shawn, please give yourself grace. Our daughter who is now 16 I know I had PPD with as she had a a horrible bout of torticollis that my husband and I are not aware of for the first few months of her life. In our eyes babies we're supposed to have "limp" neck muscles, but when I tried to breastfeed her she would scream bloody murder. These problems led to my supply going down, but at the time I did not know that was the cause. I felt like a horrible mother because every day I just kept telling myself just get through this day just get through this day and by the time I actually was able to figure out what was going on 4 months of her life had passed where I can truly say I never bonded with my baby. I still cry to this very day 16 years after the fact thinking back on how horrible those for 6 months of life were. To this day I still feel like an awful mother because of those thoughts went through my mind. My prayers are with you and all moms who has struggled.
Wow thank you for being so vulnerable! I just had my second baby and this resonated with me. I had some of those feelings that Shawn had. Mine wasn't anywhere near her extent but wow.
Also want to add, the temperament of your baby plays a huge part in this. I read a post once that said “your baby’s temperament directly relates to your experience postpartum” 100% truth to that. Postpartum OCD also a huge thing in learning many people experience but is not talked about nearly enough.
There are some things that will affect anyone no matter how privileged they are. And unfortunately depression of any kind is one. I applaud you guys for talking about ppd and being so honest
Absolutely awesome video! Thank you for your transparency and honesty about the joys and struggles of growing your family. We send our best from Houston Texas
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 89 | คู่เอก "ยอดไอคิว vs คิริลล์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Z3vYkHJ_5Ig/mqdefault.jpg)
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
Sitting here nursing my 3rd baby while my husband is outside playing with our two toddlers. Bawling. I feel everything Shaun is saying. Being a mom is such a hard, beautiful & sanctifying journey. Praying for lots of joy for you & lots of grace for yourself ❤
You touched on SUCH AN IMPORTANT POINT: Depression (prenatal, postpartum, or otherwise) is not a choice, it is not from a lack of gratitude, or lack of resources. You didn’t choose to be depressed. Its not because you weren’t prepared enough. It’s not your fault. Period.
Depression is biological, chemical (hormonal), and very much out of our hands. We can try to be preventative but it doesn’t mean it won’t* happen.
The thing that stood out for me when I had prenatal (and post) depression and had suicidal ideation was that every doctor and nurse who I told asked me, “was this pregnancy planned?”
This just reinforces this idea that depression is from a “lack” of planning, or being prepared, and that we* (mothers) didn’t do something to prevent it. We need to change the narrative. We should be hearing: “you’re suffering and it’s not your fault. I can help you and you will get through this” from our caregivers. Not a question that implies that you accidentally got pregnant so that’s why you’re sad.
Thank you Shaun for being so vulnerable and sharing your story! ❤ you’re impacting so many lives. Suicide is the leading cause of maternal death during the perinatal phase of life. (Pregnancy and a year after birth). So many women and their children and families could be saved from so much heart ache and pain just by having more information and destigmatizing mental health.
Thank you Andrew for your vulnerability as well. So many partners/fathers are impacted so greatly in this time as well and don’t address it. Your love for your wife is so apparent, you’re a wonderful husband and dad.
You made it ❤
Amen.
💜I wasn't there, so of course I can't be 100% sure of the intent, but as a health professional who provides health care to new Moms and their babies, I/ we ask that Q as part of the screening for PND - def not to blame the mom for not planing the pregnancy. 💜
Thank you for doing a podcast on postpartum depression!! It was not talked about when I had my daughters almost 20 years ago. I couldn’t clean, (which is strange because I have OCD really bad), I couldn’t cook, I just wanted to be left alone in a dark house with the blinds shut, and suicide idealization!! I was told that I was a bad wife, that I was disgusting because I couldn’t bring myself to clean, and worthless!! NO ONE talked about postpartum depression.(I’m remarried now, thank God!) I didn’t realize that I had it until TH-cam channels started talking about it. Keep spreading awareness🤗
So glad you’re happy and they’re talking about it too. Sharing bc understanding mental health conditions and struggles is so important:
OCD means you have intrusive thoughts and then compulsions because of them. People who prefer clean spaces or get anxious most often have anxiety not OCD. Lots of people with OCD actually have messy spaces or houses.
The only way it would be linked is if your intrusive thoughts are linked to the compulsion of cleaning. Example- if my house is messy my mom will die in a car crash. So I have to clean BECAUSE if not my mom will die and it will be my fault. Or If this carpet isn’t vacuumed daily someone will be murdered bc of it. Unless your cleaning comes from that type of thought/compulsion cycle it’s not actually OCD.
@@jaord530 Love hearing your opinion on this, but I don’t think what you have said fully explains all of OCD. I see a psychiatrist monthly for my mental health. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Extreme Anxiety, and OCD. I was first diagnosed when I was 13 years old, and I am now 38 years old.
How my OCD works is that I have to do a certain task, (for example locking the door the correct way), a certain number of times. If I don’t do this, I will think that it’s not done correctly, and will have to continuously repeat the process until it is. With cleaning, I will have to clean the stove a certain way. I will have to sweep the floor in the exact direction it’s “supposed” to be swept, which is towards our garage because it’s dusty. I do not like messes. Not only does the OCD take over at times, but my anxiety couples with the OCD, which makes me clean harder! Furthermore, I have not had any intrusive thoughts about my family passing away, or something bad happening to them since I was in my teens..
I will say that I am aware of some OCD patients having unclean houses, but just because some do, does not mean all! I really hope this broadened your understanding on this subject😊
😭😭😭😭😭 the love in your eyes for each other is palpable
One of my best friends created a podcast called "Quiet Connection" to try give people a place to talk anout and hear about postpartum mental health. I am so glad it is being more widly talked about for our generation and generations to come. Thank you for using your platform to talk about it.
This was a great episode. Your honesty about how blessed you are but also admitting that things are still hard was refreshing and relatable. Andrew’s advice about continuing to show up every day and know this is just a phase was spot on as well. My husband and I celebrate 15 years of marriage tomorrow. It’s not always easy but it’s always worth it.💜
Shaun, you seemed so uncomfortable through this. It's not a sign of weakness! And I don't think it means you're not past it if talking about it makes you cry. Crying doesn't mean you're still clinically depressed, but you're processing what a painful time it's been. I hope you both continue to feel better and better, and I hope you both know what a positive video you just put out. Your kids are so lucky to have you as are we your listeners.
Yes? She’s definitely still in it! I am too and my son is almost 2. Maternity is hard either if you have the whole town helping you. With your mind no one can help you but you ❤
What a beautiful, honest, vulnerable p, and deeply personal description of your experience with ppd. I also suffered from this with my third, while raising my two other very young children, and going through a painful divorce. God is so good though and He was with me through it all. God bless you both.
I'm in tears watching the true love between the two of you. The way you held hands and at the end how you really looked at each other and really said I Love You. Andrew is right, today may not have gone the way you wanted but tomorrow is a new day and you show up, ready to be the best you can be for God, yourself and your family
Thank you for speaking out! I had PPD after my first. I recognized right away(within a week or so), told my husband, he told my mom, I contacted my doctor and got help right away thankfully. It was such a dark place.
It probably took me a year to be comfortable telling people about it. Definitely felt a stigma with it but now when I see a mom struggling a tell them my experience. You don't know what it feels like if you've never gone thru it.
With my second I had a plan in place to help with it and thankfully I didn't have it with him!
I had the baby blues with my first baby when I was 23 years old. With my 2nd and 3rd babies, I had no issues. Now, with my 4th pregnancy and baby at 45 years old, my body was so out of whack. I faced post partum psychosis and was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, then they changed it to adjustment disorder and now I know it was post partum psychosis. It lasted literally 9 months. I was hospitalized twice for my mental lapse. But I think in my case it's a mix of premenopause symptoms. I'm just learning about the phases of it all and the more knowledgeable I become, the more things make sense as I'm coming to know myself better. Women's health needs to be talked about more than ever before. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. 😘
I don't know how you two held it together as long as you did. The vulnerability an love is so amazing. Thank you for always bringing Couple Things to the forefront
Over here crying. I have 3 as well. And I agree, those first few months in that transition are soooo hard. You are figuring out this new baby while still have these precious toddlers that need and want you. You hyper focus on this baby and lose yourself and everyone trying to be super mom. Y’all are amazing ! It gets better I promise!! Motherhood is NO JOKE. Your marriage will only be stronger y’all are just going through the trenches now. It feels very isolating as a mom being left behind while dad and toddlers go out but now I have 6,4, and 2 year old and finally able to all be together and have fun!
This is the best episode you’ve ever done! I love your goofy episodes, your celebrations and triumphs, and the information you often share, but in this episode you demonstrated wisdom and grace! I hope other couples will emulate your humility and perseverance in their own marriages as they go through the dark times. As a former pediatric nurse and the mother of a medically challenging child, I know how the dark times can pull couples apart! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest with us!
Shawn I also think your perfection with gymnastics from a very young age added to this. You work so hard with your new baby to try to help them and nothing works. I have a daughter who is 51 and she had colic for a very long time. I was also , 18, and #4 of nine. I felt with all the babies i grew up with that i was a failure. I know I was depressed but couldn't talk to anyone about it. That was scary and devastating. I want to thank you so much for talking about your experience. Both of you...It will help so many experiencing frustration, guilt, and pain right now today. Asking for help is the most important step...glad you are feeling better..❤😢❤
Past videos I have felt you guys were going through something. I cried watching this and wish I could give Shawn a hug! Thank you for sharing ❤.
I think this might be my favorite episode you guys have done. Not for the topic (because postpartum is HARD), but because of you guys's interaction. The understanding, the grace, the building each other up, the helping each other, the long-suffering, the love. Wow. Such a beautiful testimony of faithfulness to the vows "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health." Thankful to the Lord for bringing you guys through such a difficult valley, making you stronger on the other side.
Even through your own pain and struggle. Never apologize for crying or working through things with your spouse. The fact that you could be yourself on this podcast that needs to be talked about more. It just shows how you both have had to learn to communicate with each other even with therapy help through difficult times and it’s perfectly ok to do so. The fact that you do whatever is necessary for your own mental states and your family is what it’s about and sharing this with the world is what we need and others need. I commend you both so very much for this. I also will keep you both and your families in my prayers because that’s what we do when our friends and families need support. I consider you friends even though you don’t know me. If anything we are all family through our father God. Much love and sending big hugs. 🙏🙏🤗🤗🥰🥰
Shawn, I literally cried when you said you felt like you had too much support to be allowed to feel this way. Your experience is valid and you deserve quality care/treatment. PPD is a medical condition that can happen to anyone, including people with self-described "bougie" lives. I hope that each day continues to get a little easier, and when you come out on the other side of this (and you WILL come out on the other side of this!), you'll be able to look back and see clearly that none of this is your fault and that your family still loves you through your darkest hours. And as always, your vulnerability on this podcast is giving others permission to open up about their experiences as well - thank you. Wishing all the best for both of you!
Very touching, your so strong Shawn. Give yourself another medal, you deserve it. So important to talk about it. Good job momma❤
Thank you for sharing your experience!! I delt with a hard time not with my baby but my partner! We were together 8 years before having kids and I felt like we had a very strong connection and communication system. After having our second boy 18 months apart it was a hard transition for us. I felt anger towards him. And felt we were never on the same page. It's a hard season that makes us all stronger! I am so happy you are feeling better Shawn!! I love your guys family!🩵🥰
This is all so valid and sooo relatable! Currently 5 months postpartum with my third and man each experience is so unique and has it's own challenges. Love how real you both are with your sharing. Only podcast I've ever really listened to and stuck with ❤
Shawn & Andrew....Thank You!! Thank you for being just like so many parents out there. I am so sorry Shawn that you felt this way. Your LOVE for each other is just so breathtaking. I have a granddaughter going thru postpartum depression and this is her 3rd baby too. I think she needs to watch this podcast so she knows she is not alone. Andrew your LOVE for Shawn is so undeniable!! You can surely see that her pain is your pain. You both make a tremendous team!! Your babies will be and are amazing little humans because they have 2 beautiful parents to model life for them. I wish a lot of parents could watch you 2....they could learn a lot as well as learning how to love and support one another. ❤Thank you for being so raw, vulnerable and forthright with the good, the bad, the ugly and the absolute beautiful. Love you both 💞
I'm so glad you included adopted parents in this topic. I was 40 years old when we adopted my daughter in 2015. She was out 2nd child and I set out to prove to myself that I could be better this time with no sleep than I did the first time. NOPE.... I was equally the same with no sleep with both biological son and adopted daughter. Which at that time, all I could think is how horrible of a mom I must be. I would be in a great mood one minute and then crying the next minute. Things didn't get better until she started sleeping through the night. I didn't relate it to ppd at that point, but maybe it was.
I am 9 months pp with my second and I went through the darkest, most intense season of my life. I can’t even put it into words because of how traumatizing it was. I’m out of it now, but thinking back on that season still makes me emotional because I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t go outside, be around people, I could hardly shower because the water hitting the wall would send me into a spiral (still managed regardless), and I couldn’t do basic things around the house because I would shake from panic. I would have extreme dread when my husband would leave and the fight or flight mode was CONSTANT.
Thank you for sharing your story!
You explained it so well! Praying for you and for all the other postpartum mommas who are going through something similar.
And if you’re a mom who is going through this, it WILL pass. You’re not crazy or a bad mom. You’re doing your best! Just give yourself grace
PPD is so intense. I had it with my first son. I felt like I missed a lot of his infancy. Medication worked for me and I did not have it the second time. Thank you for sharing
My parenting journey of babies included one colicky, one ball full of energy, one chatty and the miracle of seeing them grow means more than the world to me! My mother and husband took care of me till I could admit to myself what was going on and get help. I absolutely love them and my larger support system. I can’t imagine missing out on any of it. I’m so gratefully blessed. Thank you all for sharing!! You are so brave!
I had post-partum anxiety and depression with both of my babies.....so much (life or death) worse after my second baby. Everything you described about the experience (dark hole, being on an island, through the window, etc.) is exactly how I would describe my experience. I didn't choose ppd, it chose me. I also had the same feelings about shame because I had "life" so good and tons of family support, wonderful husband, etc. I felt like I wasn't allowed to "feel" that way. Thank y'all so much for speaking out about post-partum depression. Definitely encouraging. It does get better.
THANK YOU!!!!!! For being so honest, so vulnerable, and for sharing all this. Don't apologize for any of it. Our daughter is going to be 2 in just a short few weeks, but the newborn stage was the hardest, most difficult experience my husband and I ever went through. My anxiety was through the roof for the first 10 months, she had "colic", gas, and screaming for hours and hours, and I have never experienced anything like it. Hearing people share their experience is so freeing. It's like a virtual hug....not sure how else to explain it. And even though it's a "short" time in the grand scheme of things, it still seems like forever when you're going through it. You guys are amazing individuals and parents, and I so appreciate you putting it all out there ❤
Thanks for talking about this. Having the conversation and getting support is so important. I had two c sections, and the recovory alone was hard, but I felt like I was failing in every way and not knowing why, it was so hard.
I 100% understand what Shawn is communicating here (22:52). The thing is bringing children into the world is difficult for everyone regardless of our circumstances or what resources we have at our hands. Please know you're not alone! Not everyone experiences this darkness but several do. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Shawn, I feel your pain. I’m not a mother, but I’ve experienced aunt guilt which has given me small insight into Mom guilt. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. Blaming yourself. Not getting the support from doctors that you needed. You did EVERYTHING right. I am certain of that. ❤❤❤
So glad you did a podcast on this. It’s not talked about enough. I went through horrible postpartum with my second baby. It was horrible!!!! Luckily I got help and took care of it. This is something that needs a lot more awareness!!!!!
13:48 colic is no joke. My first had it and I was a shell of a person for months. It still affects me to this day. It can truly be a traumatic experience. It’s not the baby’s or parent’s fault, it’s just incredibly difficult.
22:55 in… Shawn, you even feeling like that shows just how humble you truly are.
Thank you for your raw honest vulnerability, love you guys!!
This episode was so emotional for me, it reminded me of those dark feelings and thoughts that come with depression, it feels like such a dark hole and digging yourself out and surviving then thriving is like reaching the mountain top that you never thought you’d reach!!
What an incredible amount of courage you both have to share these intimate feelings and emotions. Thank you. I’m 55 years old and had a colicky baby 29 years ago and what Shawn described going through felt like a crushing memory of feeling returning to me. You did good sister! Wrapping you in a hug!
When speaking that joy and pain go together, I thought of this; misery turns into ministry. God bless you!
Amen! God never wastes a hurt!
Thanks for sharing your experience! My son was born in October and I felt exactly like you. He also was colicky. I only started to feel like myself the last 3 months or so. My husband felt similarly to me.
When I think logically about it, I think anyone who is extremely sleep deprived and listening to crying 24/7 would feel this way. You’re not alone!
As hard as this must have been to record and share, thank you for being so genuine and honest about your experiences. Andrew speaks so eloquently and vulnerably about his love and relationship with Shawn and his kids, and Shawn in turn offers her raw experience to show that no one is immune to PPD. Having PPD after my first baby, I relate so much to this-the upset of feeling like I should be happy and loving every second with baby, when yet, the challenges left me feeling everything but that. Now, I feel like a new person and look back and realize that it wasn’t and isn’t me, but PPD at work. So thank you both, for offering a unique perspective of a wildly successful and popular couple who are human and imperfect, fighting for love and growth in this crazy ride.
Your vulnerability is deeply inspiring! The world needs more of it ❤️
This was so raw and real! You both have grown so much. God is using you!!
Love hearing the experience from both sides. I think you can have all the resources, support, love etc, and post partum depression can still hit you - and hard. As a mother, there is always an internal pressure for perfection and “knowing” the right things to do at all times, and also being able to be your own person and that really feeds depression on top of the hormone changes that impact you as a human. I think a century ago, parents experienced this but maybe weren’t self aware enough to recognize it or it was internalized and now more people are aware and see the red flags. I think implementing ways to combat it is great and also being mindful that it might not help you get out of it faster, but it will help you get through it little by little. There is always an end to it no matter how dark and lonely it feels
Thank you for bringing awareness to something so many women deal with❤ You are both so valid in your feelings but you also help so many people feel validated with their feelings. We love you!😭💕
This was absolutely amazing. I cried through quite a bit as you put words to my own thoughts and feelings I’ve been battling - I’m 3 mo PP also with my third. Thank you for sharing. Sending to my husband to listen to because this sounded exactly like us. He’s been my biggest fan through it all but I know it hasn’t been easy. Prayers and love to you all 🤍
Thank you for being willing to be SO vulnerable with us. I learned so much from watching this and my youngest "baby" is 20 years old. I just kept seeing you on the trampoline, covered in snow and doing flips and it meant so much more....especially after hearing your experiences today. This is something I will share with my kids when they enter this season of life. Again, thx for sharing.
~ Heather Aston (aka Mama🐻 Aston)
You guys are the most motivating couple for other couples. Your experience would/will help other couples going through the same situation as you guys.
Oh my gosh, I had to take a break. Completely heart wrenching to hear. You speak of your inward thoughts, Shawn and seeing Andrew's face and hearing him say he wanted to help you. 😢😢
Man, this hit all the ways I felt and my husband felt after having my babies with PPD. Thank you for sharing. I’m on the other side now, but I cried my way through this video. This video is going to help so many parents.
I love watching y’all and hearing your story on PPD I was crying with Shawn and I love how Andrew reach to comfort you and it was so touching !! I appreciate y’all and I’m so glad that y’all are doing better 💙❤️💗💙💙
I have never related to someone’s postpartum experience more. Thank you so much for sharing. We are 9 weeks in and still in the thick of it.
This made me cry. Can relate to what Shawn shared so much. The isolation and neglecting yourself. You want to be taken care of but even if people wanted to they couldn’t because you have to be the caretaker. My heart goes out to every mom who goes through this, priveleged or not.
Oh my goodness! Hearing Shaun talking it’s describing exactly how I felt 16 years ago with my first and only child. So good to hear more voices talking about this. It felt like a taboo years ago. Prayers for your family and for my own experience I know this will pass and will make your marriage and family stronger. 🤗
I’m a mental health professional who also experienced PPD with my first, and likely only child as I’m not sure I can go through that again. It is so incredibly hard, and hard to communicate. When you said “I just wanted to curl up in a ball and say someone help me”, that broke me because it’s exactly how it feels. But you feel guilty needing or wanting help when this little human is relying on you for their every need you “have” to be okay, or that’s what your brain tells you. I didn’t come clean to my husband about my PPD until I was over a year post partum. It’s so isolating regardless of what you’re surrounded with. Thank you for speaking out, there are so many women who need to hear this. Sending you love as you continue to navigate this journey. 🤍
31 weeks tomorrow and so excited to meet our little man in September! 💙 This topic has definitely been on my mind though as someone who has walked through a season of depression in the past and has been trying to let go of anxious thoughts. Your open honesty is helpful for knowing what thoughts and feelings might come and that there is hope at the end of it.
I relate so much to when a child is crying feeling like the world stops and it’s all you can focus on. Thank you for sharing Andrew about that.
The numbers are higher now because people are being diagnosed right. Years ago a lot of women had it but they didn’t even had a name for it and a lot of women were overlooked or even told they were overreacting. Thank you so much for talking about PPD. I also looked all over TH-cam and found little resources and women need this support.
I’m also going through PPD with my fist baby. I’m on medication right now and it’s helping me a lot.
Everything feels so very difficult during depression…you feel like you’re trying to walk through mud. I felt overwhelmed and exhausted…along with the guilt you described because you can’t do or feel better. I had ppd with my 1st baby and then really struggled with my 4th who also had feeding difficulties. Thanks for sharing this ❤
Thank you so much Shawn for sharing your story. It touched me deeply and made me, and I bet for so many women too, feel less alone in those feelings. Thank you again and blessings for you and your family ❤
This was my husband and my experience as well. I feel your grief in all you missed and lost in that time. I’m so glad you’re healing and sharing. You will feel whole again. I promise.
This is such an important conversation! I’ve experienced PPD 2 out of 3 pregnancies and they both were sooo different. Moms need to know they’re not alone and how common this is. Thank you for sharing!
I understand what Shawn went through because I've been through the same experience. Two and a half years later, I would say I'm 95% better. I went from telling my husband I wasn't sure I could have another child to now eagerly wanting a baby. This transformation is a testament to the Lord's grace and favor, and I credit my recovery to His love for me. At one point, I didn't think I would survive, but here I am. I still deal with some related PTSD, which is expected after such trauma. However, I'm grateful for the journey my postpartum depression (PPD) and anxiety (PPA) took me on. It allowed me to reconnect with my faith in a more loving and gracious way, and it's now a topic my family and I are aware of. Shawn, I know it's a challenging journey, but you can overcome it. Overall, more good came from it than bad, and I want anyone reading this to know there's hope for recovery, as I am living proof.
Shawn if you ever want to talk, I know you have all the support in the world, but if you just want to talk to someone you can relate to, I am here. Dm me.
This made me cry!! Mum of 4, and this hit hard!! I’m so glad you feel better Shawn. And you both are such a power couple xxx yous got through this hurdle together and that is incredibly special xxx
Awwwwww so raw, vulnerable, and beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It made me tear up a few times. Our baby is 5.5 weeks now.
This was so good. PPD is so hard. I was in a fog for a year with my first. Counseling really helped me. Pain also can just cause you to go into a deep pit. There is no way to plan for it but understanding other people go through it, makes it bearable. Thank you for speaking out. And it is okay if you aren’t completely out of it. Human emotions are like waves…you just have to hang on when their low and wait for it to pass. I am so thankful God held me during those times. It was very scary and it is so nice that it isn’t forever. It will pass. It does.
Thank you for this! I have never been so low as I was with my post partum experience. It’s been 15 months and I am just starting to feel somewhat myself again.
I went through ppd with my 1st. when I was pregnant with my second, my husband and I talked about beforehand, was what I needed from him and what to look for or what to do to get me help. Ppd is not weakness but it shows how strong you truly are. Forgive yourself for hurt you believe you caused.
I had PPA which lead to PPD with my 3rd during Covid. I have never felt farther for myself and couldn’t sleep. A friend told me it was like being in the narrows of a river feeling like you can’t find your way out but you keep going and eventually see the light again. I kept that thought everyday and along with some meds and got through it. Hugs to you!
Thank you guys for sharing your story❤ I feel like post partum depression or rage is so hard because you're told as a parent being tired is normal and hormonal changes and fluctuations are normal which they are. For me I knew i didn't feel like myself but until I was mostly through it I didn't realize how bad things were when you're deep into those feelings in the moment. I remember my spouse asking well why didn't you ask for help or why didn't you say something was wrong and I didn't feel like something was wrong because I didn't know any better and in the thick of it you brush things off and only become hyper focused on your baby.
This was the greatest episode. I've never felt more seen. You guys are so amazing to each other, it's incredibly inspiring. So glad the light is starting to shine for you again ❤
Thank you for being vulnerable! You are a great example too all parents of new borns struggling through the valley!
Thank you, for sharing, helping new families navigate life. Something in my era that was not available, but needed. Sharing is caring, enjoy your podcast! Never be sorry.
I am hearing you say my own thoughts out loud after I had baby #2. Thank you for being vulnerable and helping the community of parents feel not alone in these times
Wow,it has been 34 years for me, I really had all the feels. I have 3 grand babies by my daughter (3 under 3) and preparing for the next one. I hope it does not get that extreme for them, but if it does,I saved this and will send to her. Gonna learn to not take it personal if the emotions run their gamete, just be there as much as possible for them next time. Best podcast yet!
Thank you for sharing your story. Dont ever feel quilt for having ppd. It's so hard having a colic baby. My son was colic and under weight. He was born early was in the NICU for about 4 weeks and my milk ever came in due to the stress. I thought maybe if i didn't through my pregnancy would have given him more time. Rich or poor everyone has experiences and feelings. Your amazing and did the best you could.
This was powerful, guys. Seriously! Had me crying with you, but I’m genuinely inspired to share more of my postpartum experiences now. Y’all are precious! Very proud of you!
Thank you for doing a post on this and talking about it. I know it’s always not fun and kinda can be awkward but I really appreciate sharing your insight for moms to unite as well. We’re all in this together and just trying to make it for our babies!
We raised 5 kids. Our 3rd baby was by far those hardest! We are our worst critics. We expect 100% of ourselves. We have to give ourself grace and know that 20 % at times is ok!
Bless you!
I told my husband (we are now divorced) that I loved our son and our daughter, but I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That I felt like I was going crazy and needed help. He walked out of the room, telling me I was just being hormonal (he is an RN). Literally shattered me to pieces. Because it took everything in me to even say those words. I was asking for help and he walked away. It’s a moment that still breaks my heart.
I always check on my postpartum mama’s even after three years because you can still have postpartum depression into the third year.
I remind the dads that they can always ask for help. And I’ll talk to them about the warning signs. Because even if you know the signs, once you’re in it, you can’t really see it. It’s too close.
Loved this episode.I too suffered PPD with both my daughters (they are now 30 & 25) With my second daughter I was hospitalized in the psychiatric unit and put on antidepressants.I knew I needed help but I felt like I was in the wrong place for it.I wish I would have been with other women going through the same thing.After two weeks I started feeling happy again and went home.We would've liked to try for a boy but we had two beautiful healthy daughters and neither one of us wanted to go through PPD again.Keep your head up Shawn each day gets better! You have a beautiful family ❤
The two of you together have created a beautiful family. And I think you both are so good at putting your relationship first. Because if you don’t do that, you can’t raise well adjusted and happy kids.
We love you! Thanks for being here and sharing with us. ❤❤
This was the most beautiful, most honest episode, and yet I'm sure it was not easy being this vulnerable for all of us!! Sending you both so much love.
Such a tough subject but to see/hear you address this with such honesty and grace is awesome and needed to help others empathize and support loved ones going through it! Thank you
Oof. This one hurt. Our first was colic for months. You saying you felt ashamed was the most spot on thing. I couldn’t ever put a word on it. I’ve crushed everything in my life, & I work very hard. I too focused on “fixing” & couldn’t focus on anything else for a long time. He’s just about 2 & im honestly afraid of another baby but also think we can do anything now 😅 but we’re here! & so happy you’re on the other side. & so appreciative of you talking about this. I always liked the phrase my baby didn’t cause this, my need to fix & care to have a happy baby when everyone else’s baby was so happy & calm was the hardest part ❤
Hugs for Shawn. Shawn you are a very strong woman, the two of you are a great couple. You just need time to heal now. God Bless your family💕🙏
Not someone who usually comments. It hit me when Shawn said “someone help me!” I feel that way baby #3, I have 2 toddlers and baby is almost 4 months i’m burned out but really I’m depressed. This is really a reality check for me.
Thank you for sharing. I think that's also a big thing that people think PPD is just wanting to do harm or not wanting your child. It's WAY more then that, including anxiety. ❤
You two make a beautiful team❣ So glad that Shawn is feeling a lot better.
Infancy period with a baby who is unsettled/colic/etc is BRUTAL.
The lack of ability to connect, bond, and form attachment with your new baby is the most unsettling feeling ever. Your story is so similar to ours, and so many others who go through infancy with a baby with colic. (Or whatever term one might use)
The endless crying makes mama feel like she can’t connect and begin to know her own baby. The bonding is slow and truly baby steps. For me, I felt it played out like this. - A baby who can’t connect, bond with, and form an attachment with its mother, doesn’t feel safe, settled, and secure. A baby who doesn’t feel safe, settled, and secure, doesn’t sleep. This cycle for mama is almost unbearable. It rips you up from the inside, and the feelings of guilt, failure, stress, anxiety, and shame, are a massive weight.
Now that my baby and I are truly connected, bonded, and in love, I can honestly finally say without shame, that it took her and I almost a whole year to truly fall in love. Almost a whole year! A year of still having doubt and anxiety regarding our bond, and how it would effect her later in life.
All this to say, it was the hardest time I’ve gone through.
A big A men to this podcast topic. So important for moms to hear this who are going through it
Cried with you both! We’ve all been there …in those trenches. We can continue to do this ❤
I had ppd with both of my boys. My first didn’t get officially diagnosed by a doctor but my sister is a clinical social worker and and was very confident that’s what I was dealing with. It lasted until he was about 7-8 months old. My second I was pretty sure I was experiencing it again and I was diagnosed by a doctor when my youngest was about 3 months old I didn’t start medication right away I wanted another 2 months. That was in 2021 and I didn’t come off the medication until October of last year. Thank you for talking about this because like you said it’s not something that’s talked about very often and it needs to be.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I struggled soo badly with PPD with a colicky baby and the guilt that came along with it.. I felt like no one could relate and people would think I was ungrateful for my baby. It broke my heart..
Shawn, please give yourself grace. Our daughter who is now 16 I know I had PPD with as she had a a horrible bout of torticollis that my husband and I are not aware of for the first few months of her life. In our eyes babies we're supposed to have "limp" neck muscles, but when I tried to breastfeed her she would scream bloody murder. These problems led to my supply going down, but at the time I did not know that was the cause. I felt like a horrible mother because every day I just kept telling myself just get through this day just get through this day and by the time I actually was able to figure out what was going on 4 months of her life had passed where I can truly say I never bonded with my baby. I still cry to this very day 16 years after the fact thinking back on how horrible those for 6 months of life were. To this day I still feel like an awful mother because of those thoughts went through my mind. My prayers are with you and all moms who has struggled.
I appreciate you guys so much. I’m older than you two, and don’t really have anything in common with you but I really enjoy your podcasts. Thank you.
Very raw and revealing. It takes a lot of courage to share. Should be sen by every couple going through this problem or about to have a child.
Wow thank you for being so vulnerable! I just had my second baby and this resonated with me. I had some of those feelings that Shawn had. Mine wasn't anywhere near her extent but wow.
Also want to add, the temperament of your baby plays a huge part in this. I read a post once that said “your baby’s temperament directly relates to your experience postpartum” 100% truth to that.
Postpartum OCD also a huge thing in learning many people experience but is not talked about nearly enough.
There are some things that will affect anyone no matter how privileged they are. And unfortunately depression of any kind is one. I applaud you guys for talking about ppd and being so honest
Absolutely awesome video! Thank you for your transparency and honesty about the joys and struggles of growing your family. We send our best from Houston Texas