What it means when a friend suddenly drops you out of the blue
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ย. 2013
- Usually if a friend slowly distances him/herself over time, it means he has a new group of friends, or has less in common with you and is just drifting apart from you because of life changes. But if this friend all of a sudden, out of the blue, won't take your calls, texts, or simply won't speak to you, then you need to have a chat right away. Because he obviously thinks you did/said something to hurt his feelings. It could be just a miscommunication. But if you don't rectify the situation right away, it will escalate. And if this is a person who doesn't get mad at people easily, and up until now has had your back, then try to find out what is wrong and fix it. But if he/she is a drama queen, that is a completely different story. Then, you need to rethink the friendship or at least put him on the back burner.
- แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
Leave them. They are not the "right" people for you. When the wrong people leave, that creates room for people who will appreciate you. The good thing is you don't have to chase after the "right" people.
Omg that was the best thing I've heard in a while.
I totally agree
I wish my best friend ever called me his best friend
@@highlyunjust bro i feel u so hard, happens to me all the time, i feel like im gonna come out of highschool with no friends
@@manav653 sigh its still going but hey its all good now. it will get better and even if you dont have freinds it really doesent matter bc family matters more.. and when i was writing that i was crying bc all of my freinds made fun of me and reapetedly made fun of everything i did. but they said sorry and its in the past
This happened to me recently and, for the life of me, I cannot figure out what I did wrong. They won't give me the time of the day whereas we were really close and everything seemed normal. If they aren't mature enough to discuss the issue(s), then GOODBYE. That's not a friend I want to have anyway.
Rose Andrews yeah same thing happened to me recently. She mentioned the smallest things she could find to pick on about me, to justify herself not to hang out with me as much. Haven’t heard from her since.
When I have gotten other people’s opinions including a professionals, they said, those things are very small and she was being mean. 🤷🏻♀️. Haven’t done anything wrong. Just glad I have other friends in my life that I share my time with, who don’t treat me like that.
I agree
I have 2 friends it's going to be my birthday and i tried inviting them I first called both of them im blocked by 1 the other hung up I emailed both 1 left me on read the other won't answer what am i going to do there the only friends i have
@@urdad7318 damn that sucks sorry to hear that.
@@jurihan3203 turns out there phones were taken away for smoking weed and the other had her phone shutdown
A real friend wouldn't drop you without communicating with you. That was never a friend.
Agreed
@Valutations333 yes.... let them go!!
I did it only once to someone but it was because the hurt was too deep and she knew exactly what she did, so no words needed.
She came inside my home and tried to flirt with my husband in front of me. The biggest disrespect ever. So even though I'm completely different as a person, I always try to solve problems and be straight forward and honest, in this case I just door slammed her and said nothing. I was feeling disgusted for months and it will hurt until I die.
So yeah, I was a real & loyal friend but SOMETIMES this has to happen and it doesn't always make the one who does it a fake friend.
I get your point though.
If I wasn't sure about someone that they KNOW what they did wrong, I would have talked about it before the goodbye.
Definitely! Thats what I say. There is a reason and season for everything under the sun. And not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime.
If your friend drops you out of nowhere, trust me, you are probably a narcissist. Narcissist are unaware of the toxic dynamic they bring to a friendship and you leave your friend no choice but to drop you out of nowhere.
It's better to be lonely than have bad corrupt company.
Bad corrupt company corrupts your soul.
I'm going to disagree here. A sudden drop of friendship is not always about something you did. It in fact in a lot of cases is due to the mental state of that person. People back off out of intimidation, jealousy, envy, etc. There's nothing wrong with finding out if you did something wrong but I think theres another reason here not being mentioned.
I believe you are right. The person who dropped me also stopped talking to other people and family members for no reason. I feel it could be a mental problem, therefore I am leaving them alone.
Totally agree ! Some people cannot cope with whatever is bothering them ! The best thing to do is let go ! You are the one that gets hurt! I believe you say what is bothering you and leave them alone ! If they return and speak about it , you address it ! If they never nothing you can do !
@@Cometcaz It can be a lot of reasons. However, I don’t think it’s fair to suddenly drop someone without reason. It’s best to bring up the issue first if there was one and see if the friendship can be fixed or at least let the person know that you need some time alone.
@@Cometcaz totally disagree.
💯
It's not always something you did though
True. You don’t have to do anything to make someone stop talking to you. Oh well.
@@lyra9988 haha...4 years later they always come back its true what they say
Yes its. Something happened.
@@gtrot6649 no they don’t.
You haven’t waited long enough the trick is no contact and with time you’ll see I use to think the same trust me. We have sayings for a reason
I dropped lots of toxic friends all in 1 year. 1 of the best decisions I have ever made.
There are reasons when someone cuts you off clean. 100%. It’s not something to dismiss. It’s a time to reflect, even if you never speak to the person again.
Yes, and usually the lack of self reflection is exactly why they were cut off in the beginning.
Or the person blocking someone is who needs to do the self reflecting!
I've done this to a friend- sadly. And yes, its because they did something wrong. Well more like "things" wrong. I just felt I wasn't being treated right. I noticed they never listened to me, never wanted to do any activities I wanted to do, I had to travel to see them. It was just too one sided- it was draining. Simply I didn't feel like a "friend" to them. So I moved on.
Good for you
Why couldn’t you be courageous and let them know instead of just dropping them?
Alexandra A the best thing to do really
I think dropping friends cold turkey is not the best way to handle it but sometimes it’s needed. I’m horrible at confrontation so there have been times I’ve done this but usually the people I’ve done this to truly didn’t care about me and did nothing to stop the fall-out of our friendship which made me realize further that I did need to move on. People who really care will ask questions, see how you are, fight for you ❤️
Alexandra A
I had a best friend of many years who was always flakey. Maybe it was me that did
Something wrong, but I’m not sure. People get on with their lives, you go your own
Way at least for a while and they do too, and the one main thing that gets in the way,
Is that if they get married and have kids, and you don’t, or even if you do, you just are
Not the center of their lives anymore and vice versa. They would rather spend time
With their families. It hurts somewhat for a while, but then you realize you’re not in
The same situation you were years ago with them, and it’s the other way around too.
Some things are worth trying to fix, but it might take a lifetime to fix, and you don’t
Think they’d have time or the energy for it, like you would not. That’s life.
If I have made any mistakes, I'm very open - minded in that you could always tell me, either directly or through text. It's not my responsibility to guess what I have done wrong, what I have done that annoys and irritates them or ask them what is wrong with our friendship. We are busy with our own stuffs and they expect me to guess it on my own while I am being treated with the silent treatment?
Look! If they really value our friendship, they would discuss whatever problems we have openly instead of giving this silent treatment. Since they choose this silent treatment which eventually leads to distancing, they have indirectly given up on our friendship. I'm tired of keep guessing and thinking on my own. I'm not a lunatic or someone without something better to do.
This just happened to me and I just want to say that if they drop you all of the sudden with no explanation it means your friendship was not valuable to them they do not care whether your friends are not. Because I tried to fight for my friendship and show her that what she was doing was hurting me but she ended up blocking me so it doesn't matter if you try and make up or not if they all of the sudden out of nowhere drop you it means they do not care about the friendship.
Exactly
Thank you
They simply are selfish and dont care.
Yep
Exactly. I had to realize this for myself and move on.
Friends? You mean people who only hang around you to see what they can get from you? And once there is nothing else to get they slowly drop you? I don't even bother with people if they drop me, they can keep each other, till they are done with each other.
DEKIKK Yup... I became close with my cousins when I moved to this state in 2010.
I would give them the clothes off my back and they knew it bc I did!
End of 2017 I became pregnant and was really sick and they were the only ones that knew I was pregnant.
I didn’t want to tell others bc I had 3 prior miscarriages.
They disappeared the entire pregnancy
Stopped messaging calling. Fell off the face of the earth.
After baby was born they slowly were trying to creep back in.
I was like NOPE!
At this point I had asked multiple times for them to return an item I had let one of them borrow.
Nothing..
One of them texted me yesterday and she seems sincere but I just don’t trust either of them anymore.
It took me a while but they were just around to see what they could get from me:/...
it does hurt but I hate they try to inch back in as if nothing ever happened.
Even after I told them the reason why I no longer want anything to do with them.. excuse after excuse..
lying as if I wasn’t there to experience it myself..
“but I did this for you and that.....”
When I do something for someone I do it from my heart I would never use it to rub in your face.
Ughhhh soo draining.
You have the right attitude! 👍
To be fair that’s what literally everyone does to every friend. The thing they can get ranges though, from more clout and better connections, to a therapist to vent to, to even someone that is fun to be around and rejuvenates social energy
Exactly! It’s like some ppl think u can read there minds
I don’t have any lasting friendships because this keeps happening and they never give any reasons. I’ve even got ghosted out of the blue by friends of more than 10 years when it seemed everything was going well with them and there was no drama. I kind of don’t want to make any new friends now because the sudden betrayal hurts every time. I think people treat each other as disposable and as soon as you aren’t ‘of use’ to the other person they drop you like a rock.
💔💔💔💔 same 😢😢
Solitude is a bless "
Be happy in you're own company
I feel the same and it's a catch 22 as in order to make genuine friendships you need to allow yourself to show your authentic self and people can tell when you're not being yourself but then at times when I have I'm suddenly left on read, ignored, dropped so I go back to putting my guard up :( I wish there was more support and advice for females living in the age of social media and surface level friendships.
And people do do that . I get ya. But sometimes were safer alone. I always told my kids keep 75% of you and your love for you and share only 25% that way you dont get hurt because people love to play head games like to have control . Love, but not to where it hurts when they leave. Look for people who content and secure or even spiritual, these mostly have it together.
Same for me... I'm sick and tired of it... 😢
I had a good friend and she suddenly stopped talking to me. Like she started blatantly ignoring me. It really hurt my feelings.
This lady has a heart of gold.
MGB, thank you so much for your kind words. It means so much.
@@mariedubuque You may in some areas, though I like the way say some of the things, but only God knows our hearts.
God bless you Marie, and if you have the LORD in your life, may He keep you!
I partially disagree. First: if you’ve upset someone it is NOT your job to figure out what is wrong with them, why they’re mad, etc etc. Each individual person is responsible for his or her own feelings: and PART of that responsibility is, “if _______ hurt my feelings it is MY responsibility to tell them. NOT for me to expect them to be a mind reader and know the feelings that are inside my heart.”
You are misleading some people. Also, Narcisists do this. They DROP a friend who is no longer needed.
I agree that this plays a part in what they do as well. Still doesn’t make what has happened hurt any less, especially when you haven’t even done anything wrong.
If I have made any mistakes, it is my responsibility to apologize. It is NOT my responsibility to read their minds and know what they are thinking or know what I have done that irritates them. It is also not my responsibility to keep asking and thinking what I have done wrong.
If they truly value our friendship, they won't even give this silent treatment but instead discuss this problem openly to settle this down. Instead they choose to give silent treatment and expect me to treat them like a king or queen and live according to their whim? Like I will die without finding out how they feel?
So true
Exactly
I strongly agree with this. This is a tell tale sign of narcissistic traits in a person. They'll surprisingly praise you for being a good friend to them and suddenly a week later drop you out of nowhere and not tell you why. They use projection and manipulation to get what they want.
What sucks is when they start talking to someone you know and barely talk to you. Without letting you know if you did or didn't do anything right or wrong.
I think a lot of people that walk away without explanation or anything are usually either dealing with their own traumas or narcissistic types. I know I've walked away from people without any explanation after I've been abused or continually put down Either way...rejection hurts...especially when you care about someone. One of my friends put it thus way...sometimes when you raise your vibration and grow...not everyone continues on your journey. Its still hard so hug to everyone feeling crappy BC domeobr else
And sometimesl
If they drop you they were not a friend in the first place. They were using you, but now you've lost your value or they replaced you. The excuse they give you is a lie. You should be judicious about people you spend time with and these leeches belong off your back
If they were a "friend," and they suddenly drop you as one, yet you don't know or understand why, let that person go. Don't waste your energy chasing that problem. They're certainly not wasting theirs. If they call to tell you its not working out, don't ask for any forgiveness. Just hang up. If you say you're sorry, they're gonna leave anyway. If they couldn't tell you what you didn't wrong in the first place and it wasn't obvious, then you don't need that person as a "friend" anyway.
This happens at church. I’ve seen where people will win someone to the lord and or get them to join the church. They will act like they’re there for you but drop you once you joined the church or you accepted the lord. Very sacrilegious.
My ex best friend and I were friends for almost a decade. She was pretty jealous/toxic. I didn't have many friends so I didn't think much of it but I really did cross oceans for her when she wouldn't even cross a puddle for me. One day I decided I would be better off so I politely texted her how I felt of no value to her and we should just stop spending time together and she pleaded for forgiveness. Come a couple years later, she cut me out of her life cold turkey. Not gradual at all. We were literally together not long before. What is worse is she chose to cut me off right after I told her that I had lost my second pregnancy..a time when I needed a friend and she started ignoring me completely. I know I'm better off but it hurt and bothered me for a long time and I even had to avoid a mutual friend of ours to avoid her. She has never given me a reason.
I had a friend for over seven years avoid and give me the silent treatment for no apparent reason. I was so hurt. I later invited her to my home as an olive branch with mutual friends. She blasts me in a text as to why I decide then to talk to her. She completely flipped it. There's no way I could have a rational discussion with her. I had to end it.
MustardSeedish that happened to me about 5 years ago and that was the friend that I've had for 32 years she flipped the script on me and she finally cut me off but she has no idea that she's actually done me a huge favor. Now I know what type of human being she truly was or at least turned out to be
james b 32 years is a long friendship for that to happen without understanding why.. ?
I am so sorry. Dealing with irrational people is so hard. She isn't being fair with you
My friend violated my boundaries repeatedly. I told her and she ignored me. She was possessive. And honestly I realized that asking someone to change who they are entirely because they made me miserable was not even worth my time. No regrets, don't miss her one bit.
I just dropped my friend out of nowhere because she has been disrespectful to my face a couple times and I can tell she's getting too comfortable and I don't find the need to tell her what she is doing wrong so I'm just going to cut her off she's older than me anyway so she should know better
If the friend drops you out of the blue without giving you a chance by talking about it, that is toxic. Bye, Felicia.
Sometimes, a friend drops a friend when the friend is tired of trying to talk to the friend who won't listen. People get tired. That is also a possibility. Sometimes when a friend has tried so many times, he gives up. In my case, i was being breadcrumbed left and right. The temperature of our friendship was highly dependant on the temperature he shared with his "best friend". Example: They have bad days, he's constantly on me, like white on rice. They have good days; he doesn't really reach out. So many times have i addressed that, even in gest. So i had to walk away without a fight.
I am subscribing. This is the therapy I have been seeking out
you're what i've needed all along.. why do you not have more subscribers? you deserve so much more. thank you for taking the time and helping other people, seeing all of the other people on here who can relate to my situations is like therapy to me.
If they dropped you suddenly, depending on the person, they probably already communicated with you several times but the issue kept happening, so they find no need to give you access any longer. Most times, people know why they’ve been cut off, but they want to have further discussion with you to try to manipulate a way to continue to stay in that person life to continue to be a toxic person to make them accept their behavior, actions and words without change. No one owes anyone anything. Maturity and discernment are what some people have, so they won’t do that song and dance with you. Most real people look to achieve peace, dream goals and a better quality of life in a very positive way and if your shoe don’t fit, nobody has time for games, jealousies, envy, covertness, competition or anything else negative. You only get one life and if you’re wise beyond your years, you’ll utilize your time wisely, pick a good tribe with the likes of you. That’s it! Thanks for this video.💛🙏
I thank you for the advice about this. I had a combination of a friend slowly distancing themselves from me but they dropped me out of the blue when I least expected that.
i dumped a freind today becuase he was manipulating me , using me since two months and had a bigger plan to use my time and resources to complete his personal projects and when i talked about mine he everytime showed disintrest . so instead of arguing or pointing out reasons i send him a 4 line message and didn't replied anything after that .
I know you said this 3 years ago, but I am literally going the exact same thing! My coworker/friend asked me to join in on one of her work projects. I respectfully declined because I will no longer have people pick me up and put me down when they see fit or want to recognize my abilities. She has not spoken to me since and walked right past me twice. The good news is, I’ve been praying to break away from her anyway. So, I guess it worked out.
I did this to a person.. whom I think was not worthy of friendship.. I felt like he was takin’ me for granted.. so I suddenly dropped out
I’ve recently tried to “phase out” of a friendship I’ve had for a number of years. I’m a giver by nature, but have been taken for granted - and taken advantage of - by many, including this latest friend. Has very little time for anything other than their career, so that’s the sacrifice they have made. It’s not my responsibility to pick up the slack for their continued neglect. Good riddance. Regret that I didn’t see it much earlier.
You hit the nail on the head with my situation, I gave them a second chance but they decided to see what they can get out of me again...so I dropped them and they blew it up big time and I ended up dropping them.
I have been friends with this person for 7 years. They moved recently and to be honest i dont think we were amazing friends and they wernt the most loyal person in the world. I noticed that they wernt replying to my text messages so after a couple says i moved to snapchat to ask them if they were okay. I check it later and they read it but didnt respond. I messaged again the same thing. I then said that if they didnt want to ge friends or didnt want to talk anymore then thats okay. But they still havnt responded. I am okay will not being friends with this person and i feel like i will do better if i let this person go. But after 7 years of friendship i just need to know how to deal with the loss of this friend. It stings.
This is why some woman I know don’t like having friends. If there life changes- that’s not your fault. Loyalty or nothing. I am loyal- if they not loyal back- it shows you- they are no good, you sound like we need people- we don’t- unless they are good people- end of story.
She got married moved away and then text saying she didn’t want to be friends anymore. She said she has no respect left for me.
I had a friend who had been phasing me out slowly and i just dropped her because I can see thru all that fake busy stuff. That not texting me back and being fake busy but posting online hurt my feelings..fine I'l cut you off.that's what you want right? Fasho
Tired of being one-sided for years..so I food value the friendship more than them..its not always true that dropping ppl suddenly means you dont care..sometimes having ppl who dont care makes you want to drop them
Already did this with a friend who got triggered over an off the cuff remark, apologized even though it had nothing to do with her. She continued to go on about "herself" as usual and wouldn't drop it. I stopped talking to her. I have my own health issues, I have no time for it. Bless this lady though!
@Marie Dubuque Your videos have helped me a lot. Your advice is very helpful. You are the best lifecoach and a down to earth person
My Friend of 15 years whom I considered my best friend suddenly stop talking to me when she found out I had cancer I didn't know what to cry over most, my cancer or the loss of our friendship
Oh my gosh that is horrible 😢 that’s the last thing you need when you have cancer
how can you try to talk to the person about it if they refuse communications with you in the first place? i remembered this happened to me once and when trying to clarify the situation they just weren't interested in speaking at all.
Nihilanth1982, try texting or emailing. Or if they completely refuse any type of communication from you, try having a trusted friend tell them that you want to know what you said or did to offend them and would like to talk! That's all, because you are putting the blame on yourself not them, until you find out what really is bothering him/her.
Yes. 90% of the time is because you did something that upset them a lot. This has happened to me - I was perplexed why a good friend suddenly dropped me but it took a few years for me to see what I did and they had been right. I behaved like an a**hole without realising it.
This is true. I recently cut off a friend that after planning well over a month with, blew me off the day of.
This comment is spot on!
People have to stop shaming the friend that drops them suddenly, its not a personal thing that they have wrong with them but more so because of something the other friend has done over a period of time which has worn them down. Pay attention also to peoples vibes and how they respond to making effort with you, if they cant check on you or give you a sense of comfort after communicating then you may be at that time to pull away from that friendship
Well said, thank you.
This year my best friend dropped me out of the blue. We never got into arguments, we were very close. I noticed that we never talked in the beginning of the year, and he purposely started to avoid me. Soon after he started to call me a “Stalker” and make hurtful and false comments.
He never made an effort to talk to me, and whenever I would make an effort he wouldn’t even look at me. He can’t even look at me now, which is heartbreaking. I still don’t know why he doesn’t talk to me. I try to communicate from time to time like write letters, (don’t get a response) talk, (doesnt say anything) and I’ve just given up.
Cecilia Rodriguez I had a friend like that and I hate to say it but I think he was an ass-hole all along and I didn't know it or we weren't as close as I thought we were. I knew him for over 10 years and I wasn't hurt by him but I was very disappointed I just decided to leave him alone. Last time I spoke to him or tried to reach him was right before the holidays of last year I'm done to hell with him too
Im going through this right now. One of my coworkers always be two faced. Talking about me then acting cool when he's not around anyone. Once I caught on lately, I have been extremely quiet! Hes been looking over at me and just by his face reaction, I can tell he's wondering why I haven't said much to him. So yeh Ima make him realize
his mistake why not?🤷
I recently ended an old friendship that resurfaced. I found myself observing negative energy coming from the friend. Nothing I could say would change the narrative that she was so committed to stating. I found myself to be negative towards this person dreading her calls. The relationship felt like a conflict and constantly seemed to chastise me just for speaking. I couldn't take it anymore and blocked her calls without explanation. I don't think this makes me a bad friend but I do feel like it gives me peace of mind.
No No No. I didn’t do anything wrong. We were best friends for 34 years. We never had any arguments, not one. We were like sisters. We both said if we did have a problem we would never let it break us apart. We were always honest with each other. We had so much fun. We shared everything. We told each other I love you, we hugged when we saw each other and when she or I had to go home. I’d go stay with her for a few days and every single time she begged me to stay longer. And vise versa. Suddenly, no phone calls, no texts, no emails. No response when I texted her, wouldn’t answer my calls. I was severely depressed for a year and then some. I’m a lot better now. But because I don’t know what the hell happened, I cannot help wonder what caused her to do this to me and our friendship. Knowing her the way I did, if I had done anything she would have spoken up. BTW, we were not lesbians. We both have been married for a long time. How can someone just throw away 34 years of the kind of friendship and closeness we had?
i feel like most people cut off their friends when they are being needy. like if you emotionally rely on them. i havent had a loyal bestfriend in years and we ended bc of me. after seeing so many people loose friendships u really just cant trust that anyone will stay around (unless they are family)
About 1-2 months ago, my BFF started to ignore me a little bit. I kind of noticed it at first, but ignored it. She met this new girl, and they started always whispering when I wasn't around. I felt betrayed, but didn't do anything. I didn't want to lose her. Today, I heard the girl talk to my BFF saying I did something, but I don't know what. Now my friend isn't talking to me, and I don't know what to do. I miss the times where we would have fun. 😔
I dropped my friend INSTANTLY.. after the endless.. " I don't mean to cut you off... but, would cut me off. I was fed up with the endless phone calls that were always about DRAMA.. Her drama.. I understood her challenges, but she was always on the verge of DYING. A flipping roller coaster of crazy. I was a very good friend. Very. She lost a friend. I did not.
Dropped my friends recently. Been going on for months, talked about it. I felt left out and they kept doing it.
Dropped them all cause i dont wanna talk about it cause last time the things they said they didnt care at all. I'm not a person that needs drama in my life... i found this video cause i was searching for an answer why i dont care about cutting them out.
I did this to a friend recently because my friend only texts about herself and does not even say 'hi how are you?', she always says 'I bought this, I went to, I interviewed...always starts with 'I...' never 'How are you?'
That sound like a needy person. If the person is truly a friend they will tell you, you don’t have to ask what you did wrong.
My friend got upset over a cat-sitting situation. She offered me the job, I said yes. In the meantime I have an elderly mom. She met my mom. I agreed to cat sit while she was on vacation. Two weeks ago she wanted to confirm I was still doing it which of course I said yes. She pressed me if I was sure. Since she seemed really anxious I said if something happened to my mom would be the only reason but have a backup just in case. Of course no one can see into the future. When I suggested that about a backup she said she couldn’t talk about it anymore. Next day she told me she cancelled her trip. It was done and no use talking about it. But she also said she made her trip for a later date and got a pet sitter. She said she’s not mad at me but had not initiated any contact with me since this happened. I feel misunderstood and sad and don’t know what to do. My sister advised me not to contact her. Let’s see if she contacts me first so I don’t appear desperate. What’s your advice? Thank you.
I had a situation kinda like this. She probably felt you’d leave the cat alone if your mom needed you and she needed someone dependable for her pet so she wouldn’t worry about her cat. cats cant be left alone for days, the same as children cant. Animals fully depend on humans. Especially domestic pets.
But she did find someone else and she said shes not mad, but give it a few days and see if you guys can make peace if thats at all possible.
Really needed this. I'm struggling
I did this bc a person's children were not disciplined to listen. If you said no, that meant yes. They would look right at you and try to destroy items. Tired of my things getting damaged. It was deliberate on the kids part.
But what if it's already been a year and you're left blaming yourself because you didn't do anything about it, and are too scared to now, and don't know if they even remember you anymore
I needed this my friend and I had a simple fight and he ahsnt talked to me since. I tried to talk to them. Text and call. Still nothing.
I have a best friend who’s been distancing herself from me since I very angrily broke off a friendship with our other mutual friend who had been emotionally manipulating & without my knowledge jealousy competing with me. They are still friends, and I can’t help but wonder if my best friend is being manipulated into cutting me off or if I actually did anything. I feel very uncomfortable with the whole thing, and angry.
Not your friends. Same thing happened to me..I'm still upset but in therapy BC it really hurts
Most likely this will NOT work 90% of the time don’t get your hopes up
I don't think a good person does that unless you're an actual d*ckhead to them every day. And if you are, why were you friends in the first place?
A good friend will approach the issue directly and fairly. I don't agree it has something to do with you having done anything horribly wrong to upset them. That person is trying to control you, and when you stand up for yourself and set boundaries, they will wait for the first petty reason to cut you off.
Right before our friendship ended, my ex-friend was literally picking fights with me daily and bringing up topics we didn't agree on until they decided to drop me for "not understanding" and "not listening". Playing the bigger and rigteous person when, in reality, they were a toxic nasty hypocrite, unworthy of my time.
I never apologised (because there was nothing to apologise for), and I only saw later how toxic the friendship had always been. I cut them off right back, and we haven't spoken in 3 years.
Anyway, please don't teach the victim of this abusive behaviour that THEY are the problem and have done something wrong. It definitely goes both ways, but these other a**holes are the bigger problem if you ask me.
Yeah- & if the other person (who is doing the dropping), really doesn't want to work it out, there's not a whole lot you can do.
More times than not it's really not personal- you get dropped for reasons that other person really DOESN'T feel they CAN share, or WANT to share, or whatever. Kinda sucks..but sometimes people feel they need to drop whole groups of people to grow, or be mentally healthy, or whatever.
Sometimes it's not even personal- they are waaaay too self oriented to create ANY sort of deeper relationship to others..in a way, it's best they move on-rather than develope a closeness to a person who doesn't have enough room for give and take that friendships can and usually require..kind of hurts initially but in the long run, saves you misery.
Good video!!
That's exactly what happened to me.. ugh
I love your hair!
An act of a coward.. Research it..
8 months ago I went on vacation with a very close friend of mine and never heard from him since and it still hurts. This person struggle with mental health and was acting more distant than usual on vacation but I thought we left on good terms. Never imagined it would be the last time I'd see or hear from him but I decided to move on and not reach out because I don't want one-sided friendships and now with distance between us I can see all the red flags I ignored that other people tried to warn me about. I wish him well and hope he finds a way to heal but I have to continue working on my own healing.
Those were the exact circumstances my best friend left me. Took a vacation with her (I treated her & paid for everything myself), she spent all of our vacation by herself in the hotel, left the trip early without telling me why, and blocked me when she got back. I still have no idea what I did, and why treating her to a vacation angered her so much. I’m heartbroken.
@@mcookiecandylover sorry to hear that you went through that but sometimes when people leave it's a blessing in disguise. I have so much more peace now that I accept people walking away because we deserve having the same energy and effort invested back into us
im going to give advice to ppl who have been cut off bc "moving on" is easier said then done.... chances are if you are being cut off you may feel lonely and rejected. in AA and other groups that makes one better themsleves, they say to put yourself through 6 groups. as in go out and find club sports, youth groups, social events, volunteer, do bible study, help the youth. just find something to consistantly be apart of... will you meet your bestfriend? who knows but that aint the goal. the goal isnt to replace your friend but do something spontanious. meeting so many people and being apart of new groups will fill you up and help you move on and ( hopefully ) you will have fun! hope this helps :-)
This happened to me today. They randomly dropped me for their mental health and I don't understand why. I know I was more absent in the last few months, but I explained to them that I was going through a lot. We weren't friends for years and suddenly rekindled our friendship. But I feel like they are expecting me to be as talkative as we used to be back then. But I have bigger priorities that make it harder to communicate with them every day.
So I'm not sure what happened, but they said goodbye, which I appreciated. The other person who dropped me didn't even give me the time of day and said nothing. I'm not sure what happened, but I'm confused.
I decided to leave it as it is and apologize to them through another person. I said if they wish to talk, I am happy to, but if they do not wish to, I understand. I just hope they are okay.
I stopped talking to a friend because she was always copying everything I did and everything I wore . Which is very weird to me …
Sounds like she was envious of you 100%
What if you've been hurt by your friend so many times and u're just fed up?
Leave in peace. Dont have to be hateful. If they turn out being hateful cause of it,then its on them. Nothing more you can do.
I had a friend for two whole years, I told her I loved her, I gave her money when I never had to, I did so much to prove to her I was willing to have a open relationship with her, but when the second year hit, she started making questionable decisions, she isn’t the girl I used to know anymore, or maybe she isn’t who I thought she was, something she told me long ago was that even if you’re alone god is always with you, but how can I feel that way when the person I loved most at this point in my life leaved me and cut off all communication from me? I don’t feel that at all, I just feel cold and hopeless, it’s hard to accept someone that I had all these emotional moments with just slipped away, and I remember the last thing she probably saw me say to her was “Te quiero” which means “I love you” and I pray every single day just for a miracle, but part of me knows that a miracle will never happen, it’s like a burden you can’t get off your shoulders, I never deserved what she did to me, and I know she will come to regret what she did to me in the future, if she truly comes back and stays for once, I want her to promise me she will never do that again
my friend and i had a fight. and he said hed take a few days to a week break. its been a month and 15 days now. i dont know whats the matter. i reached out a number of times in all platforms i have him on. amd hes been avoiding me.
and all i want is for him and me to talk about stuff. truth be told, i really like being his friend. hes very dear friend.
but with ghe way hes been procrastinating talking to me, idk what to think. it feels like he doesnt want to be friends anymore. and it really hurts. bc i dony know what happened. idk what else i can do ive done everything.
hes ghosted some of our other friends too tho. but the rest they get to casually talk to him and they told me hes been ok.
i really dont know what to do anymore.
I was hoping you could answer or make a video about "How to tell between if a girl likes/ is interested in you or if they only like you as a friend?"
GWS, I did that one before, but I will have to update it.
I get what you’re saying but there have been people who I know for a fact I did nothing to and they avoided me.
Facts. Or it's them who acted distant all of a sudden and when you tried fixing the friendship it became too awkward and it ended up with dry conversations.
When I told my friend I’m house hunting and trying to lose weight she stopped contacting me. I’m thinking she might be a green eyed monster.
I left a friendship "out of blue." Not because she did something wrong, but because one of her family members kept sexually assaulting me. I realized it was either I stopped our friendship or I could continue our friendship, but I would keep being harassed. So I sadly had to let our friendship go. So just bc a friend suddenly stops being friends with you, it doesn't always mean that you did something wrong. It could mean something else.
Why didn't you tell the friend why you stopped talking to them?
Report the family member, that's horrible, I'm so sorry!!
You should have told her. If she is left in the dark as to why that is painful
I have a best friend for more than 3 years now and she is one of the most important people in my life....I really like her but she is moody and it has already happened that she treated me bad because of other people which appeared to be more interesting or important for her by that time.
So we actually had a quite good time but since last monday she's been acting all weird towards me in the way of silent treatment and not even looking at me....because she seemed mad at me i prefered not to talk to her immediately and just wait till the next day to be better or even back to normal
But it didn't got better so I decided to call her the next day and ask her what was wrong. First she said "it's nothing" but seriously guys if nothing is wrong she would not act like that and especially not treat ONLY ME that way......well I didn't give up and kept asking what the problem was and then she was like "you have been so calm and shy lately and isolating yourself from our group of friends and I can't deal with that" to be honest I was surprised she took my shyness as a reason to ignore me and idk it just doesn't make sense to me.
About 2 days later she texted me "Wow you're even shy around me" because I wasn't talking to her only because she still gave me mad vibes....so I told her that it's no surprise I'm intimidated by her if she ignores me out of the blue....she answered something like "If you came up to me and ask me why I didn't talk to you, you would have recognized that I didn't ignore you. I just wanted to see if our friendship is important enough to you that you man up and ask me what's wrong"
So let me get this straight what I understood...she doesn't talk to me to test my confidence towards her but after I finally talked to her on the phone she still acted all weird around me
I'm not sure but why should my shyness be a problem for her out of the blue when she already knows me for 3 years and was never really bothered by it
I do feel kinda helpless and don't know what to do about her or how to act around her.....so i would be really really thankful if someone would answer my comment and might even help me in my situation. Thank you already
P.S. I'll see her today in under 2 hours because we have a sleepover at another friend's house in a group of 5 and I'm afraid of awkward silence or just feel really uncomfortable around her
.... Sometimes shit just happens. Sometimes it's not your fault or their fault, sometimes people just drift apart.
Bro i know i didnt do anything to her we've been friends ever since this girl named Kya started being her friend then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me.
I had a friend who we used to do a lot of activities together and we used to talk a lot and play games but ever since I left school (BTW he is still in school) he has stopped communicating with me he just seen zones me and when ever I go online he never even invites me to games or even texts... I don't know what to do??? We were so close also... Can someone give me suggestions... I'm so lost 😢
Thanks heaps this makes lots of sense
ONE of my best friends droped me out, she like got a new friend I'm not jelose but like we were BFFS forever and then the best friends started to go down and down. Now she hates me well I think she does. On the first day of school she saw her best friend I guess.. and she missed her so much that she hugged her. She ain't do that to me. When they did that I went to the bathroom and broke down in tears. She used to be my best best friend but now she just a friend... Please help me I'm fucking crying rn 😥
How to do tell a close friend that you're not interested in them? We've been friends for years now and I'm literary his only friend. He made the conclusion that I must have feelings for him because I am his only friend and I happen to be gay. I've tried to tell him otherwise but it's not working! I really don't want to lose his friendship because we've been friends for 5+ years. But I don't know what to do anymore. I became his friend because he was alone and I felt bad for him. I've even went as far as lying about having a boyfriend just to get him to stop but he doesn't stop.
tito, I think he wants so badly to feel needed by someone. And I would just keep doing what you're doing. Every time he brings up the subject, assure him that you are not attracted to him, but you consider him a really close friend. And then, change the subject. Because it doesn't do him any good to keep going on and on about it. Eventually, if he keeps getting the same response from you, and it doesn't change, he will drop it.
I split up after 3 1/2 years and I made the list of reasons why. She called me drama and said I was always mad. The first thing I wrote down was her lack of gratitude.
Me and my father had moved all her things and kids things when she moved into the house I bought for us. She never thanked me for anything, or said she was ever sorry for anything. Funny thing was I told her when we were talking about marriage one time, I said that if we were together after 5 years I would be into it. I'm so glad we didn't get married, it takes time to see the real person.
This is happening right now to me. I did nothing wrong and didn’t say anything to offend her. A week ago she got sick. 2 days into her sickness I asked how she felt and asked if we can FaceTime. She didn’t want to she wanted to rest so I texted her the next day and didn’t answer. I haven’t texted her for 6 days. She hasn’t answered my texts at all. I was there for her and helped her through the tough times. She either is dead or she doesn’t wanna be my friend or she got Covid and is in the hospital on a ventilator
Close friend of 3 years drops me out of the blue and then (since I told her who my crush is) told him that I hate him and never wanna be by him again, turns out he told me and said that since what I said (that friend) he wants the same, I was confused until another friend of mine told me she had heard what happened and she told me what that friend told my crush...
i was cut off because a friend simply mistook a text message , it couldve been avoided , 3 months later, i still cant believe it, AND , the person apparently thinks im a nice guy, but doesnt wanna communicate anymore.. figure that one out..
I had a friend like that who just wouldn’t listen properly and took everything out of Context plus they had a short fuse
it was like stepping on eggshells..
Its been 2 weeks now. I said something that she took the wrong way over text and she hasnt text me in 2 weeks. I've tried texting her ut she hasnt text me back since. What do i do?
I've tried to work on things with her, tried to talk about the issues and she just brushes it off and says nothing is wrong. But how she acts makes me think so. She never wants to talk anymore, and she blows me off constantly. It's weird because she is still keeping me there kinda, but it's very one sided. She'll say passive aggressive remarks to me and make jabs at me, it's subtle but she does it all the time. When I tell her anything about personal improvement she has to cut me down a peg. Makes me sad because it's not like I can force her to work things out with me, honestly I don't even really know what I did wrong. At this point I'm just not going to try anymore...it feels like nothing I ever do or say will fix the friendship we once had. We've been good friends for almost 8 years, and honestly she's my only friend. It just really hurts...
Sounds like she could be jealous. The woman who did this to me, also made passive aggressive remarks to me and subtly put me down. I think she did it because she felt like crap around me. Not that I made her feel that way. I gave her attention, fed her, invited her. Sometimes they need to be more aware and grow.
They maybe always thought you were super annoying from the beginning, but other things were overriding it at first.
But now they've gotta face it, because it's not enough anymore.
Been there, done that.
My best friend has began to devalue me and take me for granted because I am in a friend group of 3. She is really nice to me when it's just us but really mean when she's around this other person. I have a really good friend but she is in a different class and I don't want to be alone when I'm in class. These other 2 girls including my best friend are in my class. What should I do.
Walk away because no amount of grovelling will rectify the scenario, whether you or they are the actual cause of the problem. Very often a partner is behind the real issue and their views and opinions in the bigger picture prove to be unhelpful and damaging.
Every time I even begin to connect with someone and think I'm actually beginning to make a friend. That person will literally just stop talking to me randomly and be short with me when I acknowledge them. I Can't even think of what I said it just happens randomly. Whenever I just meet someone new I just know their going to stop talking to me but I try anyway because I have hope then I'd be right all along. I don't know what's wrong with me, what am I doing wrong?
You probably aren't doing anything wrong. But next time, take the friendship very slowly. It takes time to become close to people. Don't text them until they have returned your text. It also could be you aren't picking the right people to be your friend. Look for people who are kind and considerate and would have your back. You will have good friends in your life. Be patient!
Marie Dubuque thank you
What if you know the person is a toxic person or narcissistic? I’m ignoring because I think my friend looking for a reaction.
It happened with me 14 years back.My best friend just stopped talking with me and started talking bullshit behind my back.And it happened within a week...I didn't understand why..!!!.
So I asked her but she didn't tell me anything.I was confused and very much hurt by her behaviour but I moved on...... Everything got on track .. I have so many lovely friends and family now.
But out of no where she wants to talk with me now.. she found me on facebook and sent me a msg that she wants to meet me and talk about why she stopped talking. To be very honest I am very happy in my life and don't want to meet her bcz it will bring bad memories.So I told her that it was a teenage phase ,its gone now.she should forget everything and move on.. like I did.
But she is forcing me to meet her just once. I am scared now. Don't want to meet her bcz she is so desperate like some psycho person. What should I do?
peengoo In the end, did you meet her?
Ela Zorzoana No, honestly I am kinda scared to meet her .... She lives with her husband in the same town where my parents home is... I went there for few days but I wasn't comfortable to text her about my arrival. But I have decided that I'll meet her someday for sure :)
Aniya Monroe Ahh ... trust me its scary. Out of nowhere when suddenly that person is so desperate to meet you... but I'll meet her someday when I'll be confident enough
If it brings you pain...don't meet. It sounds like you have peace. However if you want closure...ask her to write you a letter vs meeting BC you have been hurt and need to protect yourself
Y’all defending yourselfs without questioning your acts first, if they cut you off then stop reflect on your actions of you can’t come up with nothing then reach out.
My friend blames me for the breakup of her and Dave.Somebody,supposedly me told him about all the men she slept with.She lost everything.I have broad shoulders,but not that broad.It bothers me that I am being used as a scapegoat,while she projects all her crap on me.She has not reached out and I have no intention on getting in touch.
It was the last straw. Found out she was sabotaging me behind my back. Couldn’t take her petty envy anymore 😏