What Narcissists HOPE Happen To YOU After Discard
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ส.ค. 2024
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this is gold
Same 😊
If you use the word "DISCARD" as a COACH - 1) seek help, 2) get a job!! Ah, one of these no-proper-education-type-turned-into-coach types.... !
5:40 presumably the 'false-self' and the 'protective self', are much the same. The one with Narc traits took on the persona for safety, as does the victim of their ways.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
My mother is angry that I’m doing better. She refuses to believe I’m happier and healthier without her toxicity.
Better at drugs, tattoos, piercings!
@@samwestover9953You’re about as funny as cancer.
My drunken father has sent yet another flying monkey to violate me blocking him. No more.
and she will do anything to pull the rug, in best case covertly
My mother has been telling me for years "You're going through a transitional period" for one reason or another and I think "Why are you still saying this? " I swear my family "knows" when I'm doing better and they do something to trip me up. My dad has hardly spoken to me in years with no explanation when I've confronted him with the actual time he's been 'absent". "My sister moved recently without even telling me. My mom was the one who told me she moved and she said to me, "Renee moved, did you know that?" The ostracization is cruel, infuriating, and such a terrible shock to my system. It puts me in a frozen place from where I can barely function. And it's so covert, I can never see it coming.
They think you will die and will never find love after discard .
They truely think they are the trophy and you were just a insignificant pawn in life.
Why would they think that? They should truly want you to be happy
A Narcissist truly wants you to be happy???
Are you one ???
Or have you ever lived with one????
Why do you think that a Narcissist would truly want you to be happy??
They are so entitled. They think everyone should admire them. They hate authentic people, who don’t collect admirers like a video game!! They expose them as frauds!!!
You're absolutely right 💯.
Absolutely! He told me as such. “You’ll never know how good you had it”
They tried to destroy me multiple times for 20 years. I came across the topic and studied it… became obsessed like a psychopath 😅 and without emotion looked them dead in the eye and said, I SEE you.. if this makes you feel superior then good for you, it’s not my problem…I’m going to be around people who love and accept me. They lost their shit…and I said bring it on and bring on your flying monkeys. Now I spend my time getting to know myself, through my value system, clearing the self doubts and having incredible hobbies… It’s a process… they stripped me of everything… but I built it back bigger and better. You can do it too 🙏🏽
Obsessed like a psychopoath... yep, you didn't study enough.
More power to you and well done. The best contact with a narcissist is no contact and the best revenge is for your life to improve after they're gone from your life.
40 years here. Everytime i do well for myself there is more hate
This made my day 🙏🏼 Good for you!
Haha 20 years? Got more lives than a Cat!!
I believe some of these people were DESTROYED from the moment they were born. By narcissistic parenting.
definitely
Compromised behind help
@@toxiccylon It's sad as sometimes I have been able to glimpse behind the papier mache to see the original. I'm NOT fooled tho the layers have calcified.
Yep. Narcissistic family system. Absolutely dysfunctional lunatics with NO COMMON SENSE.
YES its like we never had a chance.
They are hoping for failure and you needing to come running to them. They hope you can never get back to grace.
Work on being happy, authentic, and letting go of the past.
She tried ruin me. This final discard in Dec was awful. Evil. She had new supply cheating on me for months prior. Deceitful woman! Working on my healing despite her online smear campaign going on 5mos now. Im strict no contact 4mos. Please help me Lord heal from this vulnerable female narc.
I was destroyed, i took my time to heal and connect with God. They failed
I healed through God too. Be well friend.
I doubt they care 😂
There does come a time when you simply stop loving them. Unfortunately it can take many years. Then you’re stuck figuring out how to get out. If you can leave now, do so. Even if you still love them. They will just keep hurting you until you don’t. I’m 17 years in, no love left. No voice left. I learned the less I speak the better off I am. 60 years old now and afraid to start over. Leave when you can!
Please leave now Suzicraig1073! After 25 years with him I finally left at 45 years old. I am now 61 and have been so much happier and have peace! You have a long life left to live God willing. Make this your best life ever. My kids were 11 and 13 when I divorced him. He made my life a living hell and turned the boys against me the moment I told him I filed for divorce. Here we are today and over time the boys realized who and what their dad really is. We are extremely close for the last 10 years or so and have very little to do with him. You can do this! You deserve to be happy!
…totally!!!!😮😢 after 11 yrs of marriage, I literally just lie on the bed zoned out on tv or nothing… with piles of laundry, dishes, bills to pay and I cannot do anything. I try to work out and get my nails done get a pedicure… Plant a flower go for a walk… And I just can’t do anything except go to work?!?
12 years in a fake marriage for me, he blindsided me last year, the divorce is still ongoing. I'm slowly healing regardless but its a painful realization. I wish nothing but the best for you ❤ be gentle with yourself
Maybe just decide to sort out one bill (maybe automate it)? And wash just a few dishes...
Or go see a counsellor for help if you're depressed or shell shocked.
@@ladyvirgo013 🙏❤️☺️ thank you so much!!! Hugs and best wishes for Your healing as well! ( are you taking any of Michelle’s courses?) 🌷
It’s very hard I can relate. It takes years to put the pieces of yourself back together that they tried to destroy. My problem is I’m 64 and I don’t have a lot of time left to rebuild and I’m tired. But just wanted to say I understand and their karma is coming . Revenge is not mine but the Lord’s even tho it doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to happen it will. They wanted to have the good qualities we had but couldn’t .. so it gave them pleasure to try to destroy. Sick people doomed to hell.
@lorirector4127 so true, they are very demented beings. I wish you wellness
Your own body starts doing the work for the narcissist is so true. Anxiety for me was an issue. After introspection and retrospection I realized that the anxiety was a trait that my father had. When I realized that and realized that I felt haunted by my father's presence, I simply chose to ignore his presence, to simply render him and his presence insignificant. I did that as I was driving down the highway. Immediately I felt calm and relaxed, of course I was still acutely aware of the road conditions. This also worked for me in social settings. I did the same thing with a traits that my mother had, the last one is her criticism of me that I could never get anything accomplished. A small task here followed by it's completion, a small success, but never the less success. 😊
A few successful tasks followed by a small project that was a success proved to me that I can complete projects as long as I render my mother insignificant.
I understand that my comment may come across as callus, but when it comes to those who inflict narcissistic abuse unto you, then all the rules go out the window because you are literally fighting to keep you inner child alive. ❤
I think your comment is amazing and helpful. Thank you! Empathetic, healthy people naturally internalize other people so when internalizing someone unhealthy, it’s such a great idea to think of their feedback insignificant. I am going to start practicing this. Again, thank you
This was the most beautiful thing ive read today. thank you for sharing your knowledge. I AM beginning this today.
Self-awareness and believing you deserve to be happy and so important in healing. You don't need to convince anyone that you deserve to be happy in life. Get them far away from you because they will never let you grow.
Good analysis they are manipulative and very dangerous
Oh we gotta get happy
Ahahahaha trying to find happiness again at the moment…
They want us to pine for them forever more.
The truly twisted ones want us to die rather than move on from their supposed greatness.
Yes it's so true. I was discarded this time ( left him twice because he kept giving me the silent treatment) This third time around he had me blocked the whole time , only to unblock me after the discard... When he discarded me I did keep begging for it to not be over . I guess I just didn't want to face the reality that he is a narcissist. The type that in front of family and friends is so nice and behind closed doors they only devalue you and make everything out to be a 'joke'.
In telephone conversations he would do the classic shouting at the other end to make it look like I was the toxic one. Karma will come for him. Horrid evil person .
She was horrible and I'm glad she's gone
I was born into it, father was the Narcissist and he was a functioning alcoholic, violent and destructive. Pitted us against each other. Very difficult life. Trying to heal. Isolated myself, my ex husband used my son to destroy My life. My sister also fed him lies and propaganda then she dropped dead. He destroyed my life continually never stopped. My sister stole him for along with her son. He hasn't spoken to me for the last 3 years. Problem is I don't know how to let anyone into my life and it's very lonely. Painfully lonely.
Starting over feels impossible at times, I witness this struggle for a lot of survivors.
Been there ❤️
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Move on, be strong and do not let them tear you down. No way let them win at any cost.
We celebrated 10 years living together this month, then he let me choose a couple of cheap rings(I had 3 minutes to choose), then 2 weeks later he broke up with me by text, and tried to make up the next day. I then found we were in poor financial conditions for most of the time because he was secretly supporting his 30 year old son after he graduated and refused to work. So now I am secretly, slowly and peacefully preparing to leave.
Delete this comment he can find out and don't let you know about it but punish you later for trying to leave
@@seomeiyup
Wish u all the best. Go go girl.
For the past few years I did feel completely destroyed mentally, physically and emotionally so I always took him back because it was easy, and I've been isolated in a small town, but I'm finally ready to walk away and build myself back up, and never let him back in again.
I did the same. I walked away twice because he loved to give me the silent treatment. This time I was discarded
Same, 4 times. Finally discarded me for someone else recently and now im free. Getting support and going to get back on my feet in life and never look back.
We live in a personal trauma zone until we have realized our own awareness, when you have discovered who you are as a person you will see how fast this narcissist is gone from your life. They tend to become obsessed with you and would do everything to have your way of being you. We can heal from that and we have to do it with solitude, we can't give up that easy because they were stuck with you for a reason. You have something they don't have and you need to see it as a strength. When you see that strength inside of you then you will leave the narcissist without even saying good bye. Think of this as a treat that will boost you up and not to let others like that person into your life again. For some people they can't see that coming before it have happened, and if you manage to see that before it is too late then you are ahead before the storm.
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Barryinvestigation@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
Wow...my ex wife was EXACTLY as you described..down to the stomach aches. And sure enough, left me for a married man because she was in an "unloving" marriage.
Talk about a mind freak...in previous relationships with other women, intimacy was NEVER a problem. Talk about crazy making...I tried to bring up the lack of intimacy early in our marriage and she promised to do better but that never happened.
I'm sorry for your experience. I am living the same thing now. The lies are unbelievable. Telling me he hates me. I'm looking forward to meeting the man who loves me like I can love him. And what's with the creepy phone thing? Same thing here! What a jerk!
I'm losing interest anyway!
Currently Down Resting & Watching This Will Get Up & BE MY SELF AGAIN Just As Soon As I'm Ready...
I noticed a lot of people really have trouble admitting that they are doubting God, or that they have confusion or fears or anything any kind of vulnerability. It does seem to be an epidemic with people in general, their lack of ability to be completely authentic.
True. Prayers Psalm 23 -73; Luke 12:11-12; Luke 18; Luke 8; Proverbs 5 6 7 26; Matthew 19 Mark 10 🙏🇯🇲👑👋
I don’t think my ex friend is a narc (they were diagnosed BPD) but they absolutely had crossovers with covert narcissism, and I find it interesting that the last conflict we had, I told them that I felt they were very critical of me and I felt like I was walking on eggshells for the smallest things…and they got very upset and said I was accusing them of undermining me. I never even used those words but hearing you describe how narcissistic individuals ‘knock out’ your foundation…well that describes her perfectly and it’s so interesting that she actually was the one to say it. It’s like she knew exactly what she was doing and yet she couldn’t admit it. Somehow it became my fault when she was nitpicking 90% of what I said.
my mother occur to be BPD cormobid with Covert narcissism, and she has tricked me for 33 years, i supplied her and thought she was the victim- kind unhappy good women , just with some scary sadistic hysterics sometimes which my brain deleted, now i am shocked when she showed her true colors and she was an Oscar level actress for her whole life- she tricked me, her parents, all people around- it was hard to understand that she USED me and my love and empathy and has never loved me, just play the love like in movies, i had friends like her too, ended badly(one friend still appears sometimes in nightmares. i am so grateful for the knowledge about this monsters, it is helps to understand why they are so cruel and envious
Narcs are extremely jealous ,and I’m sure she was jealous of you specially if you’re an empath, they hate it they only like destruction
Many narcs are that way because their narcissism prevents them from becoming borderlines. The narcissism masks deep feelings of inadequacy. When something extreme happens to rip away that protection, narcs decompensate and become borderline.
Their accusations are usually a confession
This is one of my favorite videos of yours so far. It's so true and important to remember.
In my personal experience, my narc, after the discard, truly believes that one day, I will wake up, and realise that I made this monumental mistake by doing this, and that I will try to reach out, and reconsider this whole situation, and try to fix this whole situation. And I have to admit, the amount of times he kept telling me how we could talk about this, how we could,.... uh.... "fight for our friendship", I was intrigued to hear what he had to say for himself. But I ask myself this one question, each and every time - "Why did it have to go so far in the first place? Why did it have to come to this, before you came to see the true value of our friendship?", and the answer is pretty simple - *HE NEVER DID!!!!!!!!!!!*
Stop calling them “my narc” it’s very cringe and pathetic
😂😢THIS IS FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE/ C-PTSD, I RELATE TO YOUR COMPLETE JOURNEY. HELP?????😢
You okay?
Literally going outside in the yard and yelling about me to entire neighborhood to teach me not to bring up any challenges or concerns. I ended up sitting in my room, anxious and afraid to say what I wanted to say, definitely living in a protected self. Absolutely they plotted to have others see me as the problem. They had news articles created against me and it helped me because it was apparent then about the extent of abuse to others.
Yes , that's the plan so you look like the crazy one. Mine did the exact same
13:19 I've been both narcissistically abused and gang stalked. The latter, although similar, is much more like being interned, without due process in an open-air prison camp.
Every word you said is on point and very true 👍👍🥰🥰💪💪
"If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you don't have that distinction of before and after, you just have that sense, that you were never allowed to be... you."
that hid hard. 😢 a bit too close to home.
Very true. They'll try and make you feel bad for being yourself, by projecting their bad qualities onto you because they hate that you are the complete opposite of them. If they themselves are insecure or can't function without being in a relationship, they feel that you should be that way as well. Hopefully parents like that unknowingly teach their kids how not to be.
holy cow do you speak the truth ❤
I don’t remember who I was anytime, other than I was content, fine with being alone when my kids or friends weren’t around or just to catch up on what I was into at the time, loved playing guitar and reading, and very proud and satisfied. I’m pretty much none of these things anymore, and I haven’t been like this for more than 15 years.
THANK YOU SO MUCH MAY THE MOST HIGH GOD BLESS YOU AND PROTECT YOU ALWAYS!!!💚💯👊🏽🙏🏽✨🌹
Insane how true this is! My ex girlfriend looking back tried destroying me from day 1. Then when I fought back I caused a narcissistic injury which caused her to attempt to destroy my life. Stay strong out there!
The hope is that we may have lost ourselves for a while but we can be reborn back into our real self. It takes so much work and it’s an extremely slow process. If we once had it, we can reclaim it. Keep pushing 💕
The distinction of who I was "before and after" is completely true! However, I was raised by narcisstic parents, but I developed a strong sense of Self on my own, regardless of that. However, it was "after the narcissist" with a series of bad relationships that made me doubt who I was, and then wondered if my parents had been right? What if I had just been a rebellious teenager, and they were ultimately right? Since everyone seemed to be telling me that I was wrong- and was holding onto my Self was worth it if I was rejected by my family? (Yes, btw!) Which is how I lost my Self. Now, I'm starting this whole process over. I've been single, alone, working in DBT to re-establish who I was, with no or very minimal contact with everyone from my past. I moved to the other side of continent where I knew absolutely no one almost a decade ago, rebuilding a new foundation of friends-like-family who love me for me and I feel at "home." I'm fortunate in that I knew who I was, and I hope to be that person again, older and wiser. But, I'm not the same and never will be. It's a process.
I got away and went total no contact. After reviewing the people in my life it was obvious that I’ve been picking toxic people so I went no contact with all of them and I’m doing what I need to to straighten out my life. I don’t mind spending time alone because I have certain hobbies that only require me. I moved out of state but I’m not done yet. I’m taking time out for me, the only thing is I’ve been getting feelings of fatigue lately and I’m wondering if this is normal after an experience like this. I don’t mind giving myself some downtime but I hope I can snap back. If I don’t do my regular workouts I try to include a good walk. Every now and then I get a flashback of what I went through and then I stop it. I have the book “I Miss Me and I Want Me Back “ but I stopped after trying to write down my core values because apparently I’ve been abused since I was a child so I’m re evaluating who I know myself to be and I’m questioning just exactly what my core values are and what they should be. I don’t believe in organized religion and I’m glad that I found that description that nailed it for me. It’s been a bit confusing when I was baptized Episcopalian and found out that my family on my mother’s side is Jewish. I understand the need for why my Great Grandparents for hiding this. It was very common to do that back in their time frame. I’m not ashamed and I embrace it but I’m not entirely practicing it. That’s my choice and so end of that story. I’m tiered of the religious hypocrites they make me feel sick. 🤢 I’m also Leary of cult religions, very scary people.
I went through this tired phase, I still do on and off. I heal a bit then rest, then more stuff comes up to be processed, then rest again. I figured out that my core values were the opposite of my mothers. It helped me to separate myself from her emotionally and see her for what she is. You will get to a place of peace my dear. Just let your mind and body process what happened, just don’t stay stuck there. You have your life to live.
Absolutely I’m working on it 👍
This really hit home. Encouraging.
Yes, you do not feel safe because you fear being gaslighted for the umpteenth time, and also fear losing them when, in actuality, that would be the best thing, but at the time, you do not know they are narcissist nor even understand what that means.
Thank you, yes. Took years to understand I didn’t ever have to do this. I used to, years ago.
🦉
Thank you for sharing your knowledge so freely ...I'm still struggling letting my narcissist go, but I'm closer than before, your wisdom helps me 😢
You completely nailed it. Everything. You know what you are talking about 100. I’ve got to do that inside work because the no closure and repeat trauma isn’t the answer. I have a fruitful life and career. I need to work on feeling it. Thank you Michelle.🙏👊🏽
One of my bosses needs to see this. I work in education. After putting me down, I mentioned that I am preparing to go to Oxford this summer for a conference. No reply. I have the same job as she does, so I compared how I treat my TAs to how she treats me. Night and day. Thank you for your video. It helps ease the pain and clear the confusion.
You have infinite insight in this matter lady.
You’re honest and they’re an expert manipulator… I like how you said that! That’s exactly my situation with my manipulative ex.
My experience: went after my son
& ARE MALICIOUSLY CORRUPT!!
Yes! I was wondering why i was procrastinating....but it's not procrastination. I felt overwhelmed by paperwork or business. To the point i did nothing, from fear? It is the weirdest thing. Usually im on top of stuff but somewhere down the road i got affected in this weird way. I wakeup in fear most mornings. Till I remember where I am. Safe with family. Some male voices startle me because of the timbre. Your correct, there are residual traces all in my life.
I wish I heard your videos before going to court yesterday. Everything you say I relate to. Thank you for your videos and sharing all your knowledge
I needed this. Thank you ❤
These videos definitely got me over the bull I was going thru
Every aspect of this video hits the nail on the head.
Everything you're saying is so true. Been there done that, but ya know what, never let them steal the light from your eyes!!! F them by living well. It truly is the best revenge. It's painful to leave them behind but we gain us back with time. There is nothing better than that. 😊
It's painful to look back at the narcs I had to deal with (and how I felt about it) because they were family.
i can understand and very much appreciate the broken leg analogy. The same for what you say that the +ve & -ve is all supply. 👍👍👍
This is right on!
Thank you so much for this video❤💐 so helpful🙌
Spot on!
So very well said. Thanks Michelle
My overt narcissistic father spends more time with my elderly sisters which are his "pride and joy" literally. But my younger brother and I (which im the middle child) are his thorn on his side and never appreciatived about our accomplishments and no sense of pride from us. My father only emphasize with her daughters, so it's beyond 'daddy's little girls' kind of mentality because he finds them fray and innocent which they aren't. My brother and I are pretty estranged and havent spoke my father for 15 years.
It took me 9 months to forgive him…I was fueled on anger and hatred toward my ex h at the level of dishonesty and deception used against me. Now is the hard work through the c-PTSD and the broken pieces
Michelle this was an excellent video, thank you!! On point!! 🎯
Thank you for this. I don’t know if you believe in God, but I do, and he definitely used you to help me this afternoon. Thank you
I have a friend going through this. However, he's out having fun with family and friends. At least knowing what you are fighting helps. We have his back. I've been through this a long time ago and now I have strong boundaries. Thanks for explaining the head games.
why do I feel anger rising inside me? After all the crawling and appeasing and helping and loving and supporting and so much more ... This ...
I needed to hear that. Thank you!
So good hearing this from someone else’s mouth!!! Thank you for sharing this!!!♥️
Your explanation on this topic is the most concise, expert experience and advise I've heard on narcissism! Keep doing what you're doing! The way you get your message across in the ease and comfort it is received will help many!
❤️Thx for the video 🙏💙
Somatic reaction , thx for this info, good video thx, somatic problems is the most bizar feeling!!!!
Yes, Very True. Sadistic and Insidious.
Spot on…. Side note and definitely a red flag also, if they’re doing it to you in YOUR home. YOUR SPACE. Bye.
this is the best video on the topic I've ever watched. I feel like you describe my whole life in these few minutes. I think I'm gonna have to rewatch this once in a while.
This is the best video you have ever made explaining the malignant narcissists (and the coverts) goals towards their targets.
You described it to a ‘T’!
Your voice is so soothing
I 100%agree with you about needing to thrive. And I would do that if he didn’t alienate MY daughter - not his. He didn’t ask for visitation in divorce. Now she lives with him and he has cut off all contact with me. So it is hard. To think about me right now. What is happening to my daughter. 😥
Thank you Michele for speaking truth! Thank you for your wise counsel and advice!
Great job! You are a knowledgeable and great catch as well.
But how can I go from self hate and from feeling totally worthless and unlovable to thinking "I am amazing, I am worthy" ?
Edit: I mean, I already feel bad. I can't just start saying "I am amazing" when it is so far from what I feel! Narcissist made me feel totally worthless like a dirt. I dont think or feel anything good or positive about myself. Words like "you are lovable" and "you are worthy" sounds like a lie. How to change this?
It helped me to start with something that is undeniably true: "I am a real person." And crazily, it has taken me a long time to really truly know this, but I do now. Like she says, focus forward. ..watch out for, and fight the inertia and the false trauma brain habits. "I am safe now."
I'm having a bit of a fear/dread relapse today, but "I am truly safe now." "I am learning to care about and for myself now." Me giving advice here is me advising myself!
You can and will heal. Imagine what that freedom is going to be like!
I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand. Michele understands.
Take one positive, tiny, step today...and every day. 🌱
This was very profound and comprehensible. Great analysis.
Hmmm Interesting. He sincerely tried destroying me but was unsuccessful. I have healed my narcissism and relied on optimism, my identity, and love to make decisions. I held boundaries (which repelled him) but I never lost myself. It will be interesting to see what happens with my silence. I dont think he will hoover or try anymore… but then again, I don’t think he feels like he destroyed me.
About the third point... ive done that mistake trying to prove myself to strangers, i guess its wrong to some degree... but maybe also right to some degree? I mean i kind of want that validation and emotional support. I allready understood many things that my mother did and said were wrong when i was a child and teenager. And yet i just didnt tryst myself. When i heard you guys on youtube talking about this finnally ive started to belive myself. So isnt this to some degree a good thing? Isnt that what were doing now here on youtube looking for emotional support, that were not the crazy and evil ones? Cause i find it really disencouraging that other people believe my mother. But you guys have given me a lot of peace and clarity in mind. My real life still sucks though, im still my mothers slave at 37, jobless etc. But atleast my mind is a lot clearer and calmer now finally.
Yes I do hope they move on and find someone that does it for them after they understand how and what part they played in the relationship ending and give the new person a better version of them and to leave me alone because I don't want them anymore
The relationship was too stressful to remember good times
And yes I guess I am an avoidant. I'm avoiding them
I've always been allowed to be me around my parents and they would call me out when I wasn't acting authentic after being bullied and they had to encourage me back into empowerment telling me don't let people have power over you that isn't grieving with you you
Thank You 🙏
after a year of doing nothing about it, I actually felt worst. I journaled for 3 months and after doing the first journal entry I felt a difference. Journaling is magic. Now I don’t journal and I couldn’t give two fs about the relationship what she did, I actually feel like you would when you see a transient on the street acting stupid, you quickly wanna get away, and you don’t give it a second thought. Thats how I feel about that parasite now lol.
I just want to run away! 🏃♀️ move out in the middle of the day or night!
Will they make divorce difficult?? Can I do diy divorce papers? Do I need a lawyer? $5,000 up front! I need out now… 🤔
move in silence, never let them know your next move. he does want to make your life hell
@jacquelinegrace3 - Yes, you need a divorce attorney. Otherwise, you could lose everything.
I see, wow!
Your videos are so helpful and so useful for me I got to say I’m so grateful for you. Thank you, MICHELE
This is the best video I’ve watched on the subject 💥
❤😢 Michele Help, I'm stuck in a Freeze Trauma Response, Cannot leave the House, when I do it's so uncomfortable in my Body, I Run Back to my Comfort Zone. I want to Live My Life, but I feel Stuck, Trapped.................unable to move forward in Living My Life.........Help, Videos on Isolation?????😢
So sorry - believe me I know how challenging it is to be in freeze...... videos are helpful in the sense that they will help you to understand why you may be stuck in isolation despite the desire to move forward with your life.... but for me, in order to heal - you need to combine mind and body learning. Somatic experiencing is one of the most powerful modalities to help people heal their nervous system and get unstuck or unfrozen - I encourage you to look it up!!
Danita, oh this is me too. You are not alone.
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thank You Michele, for answering, I Resonate with your Journey so much. Could you continue doing the Tuesday's Free (Goodie)Webinars? I'm feeling frozen/stuck in all areas of my life, especially Finances. My Goal is to take your courses and become a lifetime member, because it also seems like any progress is in Slow Motion, I seem to jump around not knowing how or where to proceed. I have access to 2# programs, one temporarily on Attachment Styles, the other on Narc Abuse, but I just Identify with your experience so much more it seems. I'm just going to ask our Heavenly Father for His Help, to get in and Focus only on your Program. Then once I feel I've gotten my autonomy/ Identity back, I want to pass on the Blessing/ Gift!!!!♡ Can I get more info on tbe Tuesday's item, it could tbe Email that you do, I'm not sure, Thank You Again!!!♡
@@gazelle3635 I'm glad you here, in the Right Place to Heal n Get cho Life, our Life!!!!♡
Frozen- self sabotaging
Because I was criticized for so many things, nothing was ever good enough. There was no safe direction to go. Now I have difficulties in finishing projects or going and enjoying a night out…social anxiety, I guess.
So I’ve been forcing myself and making plans and not making excuses to stay home. I’ve had fun, but am still dealing with the anxiety, especially if I’m not focusing on something- a positive conversation, playing board games, or doing a small craft (also done to help me learn to finish a project).
I find the more physically active the activity or the more I have to focus on something( like a puzzle) the easier it is to lose the anxiety.
Its not a cake walk, but I’m going to push myself to do it anyway.
I deserve a good life. I’ve worked hard and played by the rules, paid my dues and I need to push myself through this difficult journey RIGHT NOW. Times a wastin’ …and I can’t get that back.
Thank you for this video! I like that the content is brought to the point and still detailled.
First time I left him because of his lies and gaslighting, he hooovered me back promising he changed. But he kept lies, cheating and became worse. I left him second time for good, decided not to go back whatever he says. But this time he never called or message. This is a double trauma because he never loved me. I wouldn't go back but I needed to be missed. The slightest feeling of revenge for what I had been through . It hurts deeply. He kept living his life ingnoring me . I left him, not he. And I forgot to mention that the first time when he hoovered me back I stopped giving him any supply and often he was angry or dislike that. Now I have the feeling he is released and free of me. This hurts too.
Narcissistic people deny reality I had a narcissist woman in my life who told me never to call again so I obliged then I saw them a few weeks later they say why are you ignoring me
Thank you !
So powerfull & empowering ❤
My Ex Narc always toldme that I was more inteligent than him. May be because he could not destroy me. When he tried to triangulate me I always told him that if he thought all those women would make him happy he should go with them, when he acused me of something, I would say that he was proyecting on me. If he mistreated me told him that he did not have the right that to do that and set limits. I did not know what a narc was. Then he descarded me and I found out all his lies and manipulation. I even discovered that he was married and had kids.
I have no idea who I would have been without a narc mom and undiagnosed ADHD. So many of the things I thought made me unique was an ADHD symptom or was groomed to be by my mom