5 Core Wounds Covert Narcissists Create
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ค. 2024
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The original Terminator movie quote Kyle Reese:
" _Listen. And understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead._ " sound familiar folks. Replace the word terminator with Narcissist.
Wow!
I've used this exact quote myself.
Yes! Except for the fear...
I have had women try to either kill me, pin felonies on me (prison), or ruin everything good in my life.
Life is hard enough.
Some people NEVER realize that you should not be married to a person who constantly feeds you the things you say you don't like. That's not love. Once a narcissists knows you don't like something, they will heave it on you constantly. They only want control to make up for that sad crazy traumatic out of control child hood they lived through long ago.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO
Ooooh yeah they will repeat it every day
NO ONE SAYS NO TO THE MOLESTED GIRLBEATER 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴
You’re right. Unfortunately most of us don’t realize our partner is a narcissist until years after we’ve already married them… And probably had children with them. The more of a support system you have outside of the relationship the sooner you might figure it out. I moved to a different state from my family and was all alone with my spouse. It wasn’t until years after I divorced him that I learned about “narcissism“. Finally the insanity started to make sense!
@@dyanaberwin5582 UNFORTUNATELY NO ONE SAYS NO TO THE MOLESTED FLOPS
The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com
I always feared my sister visiting my moms house because i knew i would be attacked verbally. It always starts with them saying the classic WHY statement. Why are you watching tv now? Why are you eating now? Why are you washing the car now? It's all carefully setup so you respond and defend ~ That's what they want, to go into gaslight mode on you. You can turn this around on them by saying " WHY ARE YOU ASKING WHY? Then they say " because i want to know " Then you can say " WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW and on and on it goes. Soon they will know that you have figured them out . But more than likely they will lash out with the classic " YOU DON"T HAVE TO BE A JERK ABOUT IT ~ I"M ONLY ASKING YOU A QUESTION!!!
That's some classic manipulative behavior right there. Using bait questions to start something just so they can find a reason to play victim once they wear your patience down enough and your attitude changes.
@@contentomnivore They are sick little monkeys with car keys
If you're able to ask a question without retaliation then consider yourself lucky
The idea that my life can me nourishing to ME is a revolutionary idea. My life starts TODAY!!!
amen!!!
Same here! I'm finally starting to nourish myself and so many things are finally clicking and my life is starting to unfold beautifully. Yay!!!:)
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO
no one ever deserved to be treated this way for sure!!!!!
The way it changed me is I will test anyone I date in the future up from for narcissism and I’ll never get married again 🫡🇺🇸🇬🇧
Excellent post.
That feeling of shame is so torturous. Months after the break up and it’s the hardest part of my healing
It gets better. Keep going. It's worth the growth. Go outside and ground.
Decades of gang stalking torture, sra, and other crimes, and my perps, connected to the police, who likely were the ones who originally broke and entered my home while I was at work, and they had my nervous system, and it's responses in their hands, and sadistically let me know it by setting me up in situations where my stomach would sink, on their cue. This is evil.
They been riding u since birth _ you the meal ticket _ literally the manna from hell_ is people hunting people. As Jack Nicholls says " you can't handle the truth" mommy and daddy had a baby so they can have roast beef for dinner.
Your enslavement on earth _ you have to eat your kids to survive.
Thank you! You helped a lot w reactive abuse. I don’t defend anymore. I limit time around these types. I feel so much better. I avoid events they host. I stopped helping.
I've been in this loop for more than 6 years. When I see your videos , I understand what is happening to me but then I forget it so easily when he talks to me. I keep doubting myself ,my judgement , my sanity! I always end up forgiving him and hurting myself in the process.
I found it helpful to move half way across the country, get a different phone and stay off social media.
You need to get far away and have no or as little contact as possible!
Its hard to see the Forrest from the trees ...bcuz you are in the thick of it and all trees look the same. Its challenging so see with perspective when you're surrounded by the familiar.
Hi Michelle,
After 30 years married to narc and the last 5 years in total social isolation. I started socializing by leaving youtube comments. Im being told that "my tone is irritating" idk how to be around people anymore.
I'm a half a foot taller and have at least 50lbs of muscle on my mom and my nervous system still screams at me when I'm around her. Her voice is like a rattlesnake rattle.
Thumbs up, not bcz I approve of the abuse, but rather that you are a fighting, good spirit. You were vulnerable and harmed. I get the instantaneous response. I know it's awful. I hope you heal.
I know. I am a woman but I feel the same. They infuse your cells with poison. They make you think it’s your inner voice, but it’s not. It’s them. Detox that shit out. I found that telling them how you feel helps. It’s extremely difficult, because they never give you an opportunity to speak or give feedback, but those rare moments that opportunity arises (God will provide you one, I swear), you have to tell them all you can. Even if you are scared. It makes you stronger. It sheds light on them and they seem less of a monster.
I had so many "light bulb" moments in this video! THANK YOU!!!!!
You're saving me. One video at a time...
This was so helpful and validating. It’s been six months since the final discard from two years of chronic abuse. I’ve watched a lot of videos about this and this is the first I’ve found that really taps into how I felt the entire time.
You have expressed the experience of narcissistic abuse in terms that go beyond a checklist or a manual. I feel seen. Thank you. 🙏
This is one of the most valuable videos I’ve ever seen on core wounds created by covert narcissistic demons! Thank you!🙏
Totally agree!
This is an eye opener to me. You always explain things in such a way that I can finally understand ..
Excellent information. I can relate to it all. My future ex-husband is a narcissist. Tired of the mental and physical abuse. I lost myself. I wouldn’t put up with it anymore. He finally left and I am still working on healing so that I can finally deal with this creep. Looking forward to ending this marriage for good.
The Six senses , Seeing,Hearing,Touching,Smelling and Tasting ! #6 the third eye of instinct ! The Pineal gland ! That's without the hormones!! I always or for many years I have trusted that if all Senses and Hormones are good,, we should be grateful for this ! We have to be glad that our children are Okay !!!! Blessings to All !❤🙏😇🌹💐🇵🇷🇺🇸🤗
The thing I believe holds me back and often traps me is;
My heart has a difficult time with understanding the truth. That these kinds of people actually exist.
Having been through this kind of emotional torture and nearly to the point of death, this kind of person scares the daylights out of me now.
So, I know this and am aware of the traps but yet, my heart will always give people a chance. Even the ones who can destroy me.
I sometimes wish I’d never gone through this. I no longer walk on eggshells because of any one evil person but now, it’s as if I’m constantly walking in a field of fire hoping never to get burned.
After years of trying to wrap my head around it, I realized that I will never understand twisted, sick people in an empathic way. I can, however, understand them from a scientific point of view. Learn to dismiss what offends your soul. You can recognize narc behaviour without getting into their heads. It's just not worth your time and energy, because there is nothing you can do to stop/change them, and warning others about them is more often than not, futile.
When, you heal the core wounds you will not attract these types anymore.... and if you do, you will be so strong it won't last two minutes. Keep healing the wounds. Everything, is vibration/frequency. Whats been programmed in you, keeps you looping. Wishing you well on your journey.
@@aNnAkt1qw,
Very encouraging. Thank you for your uplifting message.HOPE😁
@@aNnAkt1qw
Good Point 👌🏼💯🎯
When you heal your core wounds your attraction 🧲 shifts towards healthy healed people.
Toxic folks won't resonate with you and you'll clash energetically, mentally and emotionally.
You will feel turned off and repelled around them 😝 You will click with people on your same vibration or energetic match 😅
Thank you so much for the reminders
WOW!!!!!
This is IT
This is an amazing video. I am healing from a narcissistic partner and currently trying to establish boundaries.
You articulate these things so well. Thank you for dropping these videos. I checked all these boxes for 25 years. I have been free for a year but I still struggle with these thoughts. Today has been a rough day and I needed this.
Thank you so much for this video!!! You nailed it! 💯
This is very healing , thank you. ❤️
My covert narcissist mother died 8 months ago, but she won’t be truly dead until I am dead. I am 60 years old , and have learned the damage is permanent and irreparable.
I moved back home to care for my parents only to discover that was the reason i needed to understand the covert abuse. Im back in my old bedroom from when I was 10, 50 years ago and they are both 91! Holy moly!
Thank you, Michele.
This is incredible, that's been my role. I don't matter and all I am here to do is to serve you. Never ever praised for any achievement ever but only when I did something for them.
Always hearing the critical and never anything positive is being conditioned with negative reinforcement. Thankfully we can delete and download new beneficial programming.
There's another angle to this. My mom treats others really well but it's really obvious to me that she actually looks down her nose at most or all of these people. I know it from her body language but no one else is sensitive enough to detect it. So, what I hope helps people to know is that we're not special. We are perceived the same as they secretly perceive everyone, even though they may overtly take jabs at us when no one else is around because they've known us longer, have a bugger grudge against us, see us as safer to lash out at because they think we'll always be there, and at the same time perceive us as greater threats. In a way, it's not personal. It's just a biproduct of being close to them. It's not us. They would treat anyone in our position this way I'm lucky because I think mine just has tendencies and we keep things pleasant through letter writing
Excellent informative presentation. Thank you. One comment: He & She. Covert in both forms.
Sick!
My core wounds are so deep that they will never heal.
As long as you believe that, you never will heal. Don't you believe you can, and deserve to heal? Why let what they've done to you keep holding you back? Then, they win. Rise up, and heal. You CAN do it! 🙏
I used to feel the exact same way..... but the amazing thing is we CAN heal from this!!!! Now I wont lie and say it's easy.... but I will say it's possible and worth every ounce of energy and effort!!
I understand too well. The old me is dead. I changed my name even. I'm not her anymore and never will be again. People can keep their shiny happy you can get better crap. A person be broken so badly nothing will put them back together.
Core wounds are based on lies that have been taught to us and we believed them because they came from an authority and we didn’t have the life experience to tell the difference so they feel true even though they are not true. What also makes them stick is if they were helpful in the past (even though they are not helpful now). Once we understand that the thing that is destroying us is not even true then we can find the truth and the truth will set us free.
Follow the pain to the belief and there you will find a lie. Ask yourself how reliable the source was. Ask yourself what the truth is. Now reinforce the truth and your lies will be dead to you. Old survival skills are put down and new living skills are put into practice. That’s how you can walk out of a prison of lies.
@@FromSurvivingToThrivingthank you :)
I am so glad I found your channel. My introduction to what I would later learn was actually a narcissist, was at the hands of my direct “supervisor.” Any connection or repetition interaction with a narcissist is horrible & should be avoided at all cost. Unfortunately, my torture took place at work = livelihood.
I am not sure if you have made a video regarding narcissist in the workplace (your career goal job), if not could you please make a video. More people need to know this REALLY happens across ALL career fields. It doesn’t go away… it only escalates. This way, people can be made aware of what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like… so you can run like hell.
It’s next to impossible to heal without support. If you have support, it makes all the difference. Never give up looking for it. Trust your gut.
I couldn't agree more!!!
I only recently learned of the concept of core wounds. I was the scapegoated child of a single mother. What amazes me is that she managed to inflict all of the wounds that are mentioned. In my case I was not scapegoated because I represented something she didn’t like. I represented something she could never be. She could never get over the fact that her parents were unmarried and related. It is the one thing that when mentioned she has a total meltdown. She hated her sister because she was not illegitimate, and when I was born she was already married for some years. All my childhood my mother would say I am just like her sister and then beat or otherwise abuse me. How much hatred can one person be capable of? It boggles the mind
Demons are involved in this.
I was Rap•ed as a punishment and incarcerated. So it isn’t just imaginary danger.
I was punished for passing a stage-check on a new career.
Listening to you talk helps me arrange things in my (scrambled) mind.
Violated, assaulted, abused and punished for doing nothing wrong is mind bending yet happens more often than people realize. Thankfully these online resources are available to reach those who feel unreachable.
@@casperinsight3524 - yes.
@@casperinsight3524 - I just did my instrument check ride. I was offered a job as a corporate pilot. The following week she accused me of pushing her down a stairs.
Holy cow! You are so right! I was in a relationship with a female covert, narcissist, and I was treated so much like this. Not all the time but most of the time. I am going through therapy now, even though I don’t think it’s helping much, but I am getting more from watching TH-cam videos, and reading books on the subject. Thank you for this video.
Thank you 🙏
Beautiful!!!
9:00 was 🎉🎉🎉🎉 everything for me
On point!!!!!
Thank you, Michelle!
My brain cannot keep up with this, information overload.
Love this
So true, always felt like any failings was palpably their bread and butter, without them bringing anything to the table at all. still overwhelmed at times with hardcore feelings of shame for no reason at all, no matter what successes or accolades.
Can still hear them constantly screaming ‘what’s going to happen to you!’ to my grade school self, for no reason.
Man, we deserved and deserve better.
Thanks, pretty close to home right now, helpful! Grateful 👍
Thank you
Geat video. Thanks for my healing Journey.
Thank you.
💯 correct !
Thanks Michele - Thriver's was a real
game changer! Godspeed 🙏🎯😘
Michelle you're glowing :)
Thank you for your help and support on my healing journey 😊❤ God bless you ❤
You look so good- I pray you are as happy as you look💜🙏😘
Absolutely correct.. these break our self confidence and sense of self.. more power to you michelle
Great message! Very clear, concise and well stated. I am sure that many people will relate to and benefit from this video. You've managed to paint 🎨 a poetic silver lining on this dark cloud that affects so many people. Good on you young lady... 👏
That's a really good video
Thanks for this reading, so informative and explains my subconscious blocks. As I always been a doer before I had a long relationship with a covert narcissist. Afterwards it’s easy to see but I didn’t even have a clue prior to him starting acting up and then just vanishing in the thin air.
You are so smart about this subject, everything you mentioned has happened to me.
I have learned so much from you and am glad I’m not the only one who has been through this hell.
A few months ago I thought I was the problem the bad guy because that’s what I am always told. Her whole family is against me because they don’t want to hear anything I have to say only her side.
In their minds there is only one side to a story.
I don’t waste my time with them because they are all one big miserable narcissistic family.
I like your channel you are a very smart and very pretty professional lady and looks like we have the same middle name too 😆👍
Thank you for this amazing video! So much insight and help! Also... you have a magical dog that disappears mid-sentence. I think you might be able to monetize that super-power. :-)
lol - I'll have to check that out! So glad you enjoyed the video!!
Original me did not ever have a shot. In my baby book is "fed by spoon at 13 days" Just one of. Were my eyes even open? Explains the lifelong food/weight issues. I also gave up my Soul to Heaven, via poem in 1987, only realizing. Maybe I did this to give it back. Maybe because I knew I didn't need it. "May her soul be in Heaven, loved peaceful, truly set free."
Beautiful, smart and empathic. Would be nice to find a woman like you, instead of keeping walking into one female narcissist after another.
👍🏼 experimented 40 years . Still
If you’re divorcing one with children, this can happen with your children. They can easy alienate your kids with exactly what she’s talking about :/ I was a stay at home mom - both daughters alienated. Their father traveled 90% of the time and when he was home, he wasn’t very present.
They did a study on monkeys with a real monkey mom and a robot mom- the baby monkeys sided with the robot mom to get the love they got from the real mom -
👍
Yep, nothing makes sense, and you get used to that! And I'm wondering why I'm a little teapot! 🤦🤕
❤❤👏👏👏🙏🙏🙏
🙏💜🙏
In addition to believing all of these negative things because of the way the narcissist responds to you… The fact that they’re so nice to everyone else is also harmful. Any time I would try to talk to someone about my ex-husband‘s narcissistic behaviors, they would always say “but he’s so nice“so, not only is the narcissist working to convince you that you’re unworthy, But everyone else that you and a narcissist have relationships with reinforces that message. It makes you truly feel insane
Ha.. I know everything isn't my fault.
My youngest adult daughter is an evil narcissist. She stressed out my husband, her father, so bad that he started crying uncontrollably and asking what he did wrong, raising her, over and over, then he collapsed and took his last breath. He died of a broken heart. I blame her for his death. I went no contact with her. It's been 4 and a half years, and I have been destroyed beyond repair. Living a horrible nightmare. I struggle with the same thoughts. She plays the victim and has me as the bad person. All my family and friends have abandoned me, including our oldest daughter. I don't know what I did wrong raising her. It must have been my fault somehow. So, I am being punished to live a life of misery. So confused 😕 I know I am a good person. Everyone always came first before me. I was the one who went without, either it be food, clothes or whatever they needed.
🌹😘
Narcissists are yhe devil's foot soldiers, the devil wants to make sure you're never happy and that's the mission of the narcissist
I am on a stage with my I think she has narc tendencies where she alsmost blocks me all 1 or 2 days even without really doing anything bad so I dont care and when I then do something which helps me to get distracted from the being blocked on the messenger to write here I love her still and she says I wouldnt or be even gay then I get accused of I dont love her and give no dam cuz I do something which helps me to pass time. Any ideas or suggestions? 8:32 she claiims always I am asking "stupid" questions when I just ask her stuff I sometimes dont understand and she makes a big act out of it and it made me sad in the beginning but nowadays it makes me angry.
Wow amazing 😊 does somatic strategy help heal emotions? Ive never founnd any info on how to heal emotionally
Neural linguistic programming, self-hypnosis (aka meditation), cognitive behavioral therapy and transactional analysis have been around for decades. A combination of these and other methods of healing are very effective. Often, therapists 'preach' one route (think, Dr. Phil with his CBT), and this is too narrow. There's many tools - use all the ones you need. I've learned many from a variety of teachers. Healing is an ongoing and cumulative process. Carry on, and never give up.
Also, look into nutrition and brain health. Neuro scientists and neuro surgeons are marvelous for this. There's a few neurologists on youtube - vitamin B is super important for emotional health, along with other nutrients. Do a deep dive, it's worth it!
fax
How do they treat their children?
What if your mother tried to physically cripple one of your senses to cause a core wound, how do you heal from that, cause the damaged sense is a constant reminder of the core wound
can you be a bit more specific? What sense?
so the opening commercial had something to do with men's balls sticking to their thighs. I passed it after five seconds, but i mean - like wow.
Why do you never talk about narcissistic sibling
Are some of you also so deeply ashamed of the fact that you let narcissists into your life? Besides your parents
I learned about npd faster my wife of seven years discard me like I was an old toaster. I had no clue about this mental disorder and my eyes were opened. I have no reason to be ashamed because I never cheated, lied, disrespected or misrepresented myself. I am not an empath, I know who I am and do not need any validation. She was so ashamed when I finally clued in and called her a liar and a cheating wife. I soon also figured out she had a more serious disorder than just depression as I was made to think. I take full accountability. I chose her as my wife that’s on me. Shame is all I would feel if I let her back into my life Knowing what I know now.
I really like what you have to say. For me, it is difficult viewing your videos, because the jump cuts are obnoxious. I am being sincere and just thought I should express that the jump cuts are not necessary and hurt concentration, at least for me.
Pfffffft helping them making them happy… all it does is give them more to complain about and ammunition to complain and denigrate any effort you put in to “helping”.
What exactly does “knowing your worth” even mean? If we’re referring to “sexual market value” that consists of a set of qualities or parameters dictated by the opposite sex (generally). Because men and women have different “preferences” (generally) these qualities or preferences may or may not be alterable. For example, if you’re a women who has been sexually active with one or more men (and let’s say they’re all toxic) then you’re sexual market “worth” may be lower to the average man. In any case, the truth is you don’t get to determine your “worth” to the opposite sex-they determine that for you. The moral of the story is to understand the preferences of the opposite sex and not make mistakes which lower your value to the opposite sex-regardless of you being with toxic people or not.
NO CONSEQUENCES FOR MOLESTED SAVAGE STALKERS OK EVERYONE
🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴