1. Over share or under share 2. Lack of trust - hyper vigilance towards narcissistic traits 3. Being highly triggered 4. Being able to let the past go - ruminating on the past. Trauma loops. Not being present. 5. Being passive aggressive - parent associations
Me (1) - Yes (2) - Yes (3) - No (4) - Sometimes, but only when I around my ex. (5) - Yes/No - sometimes I can't resist the urge to be petty and give back my ex a a dose of her own behaviour ! When I do it, I'm fully aware of what I'm doing as opposed to my ex who is oblivious to her own behaviour and sees nothing wrong when she does it, but she gets so mad if you treat her the way she is treating you. I try to not do it. I'm working on that.
Yes there are triggers. You have to use checks and balances. You need good communication. Narcissists never let us talk about our problems, nothing was ever worked out. Finding anyone who is willing to deal with the baggage is difficult, yes. Yes yes. The isolation was terrible, and covid isn't helping either. And low monetary circumstances makes life really a struggle. Thanks....
I’m 6 years no contact from 16 year of NA. It took years for my nerves to settle. I am still empty inside which brought me here. Some of the many symptoms I’m having : 1)Self isolation- Controlling my environment. 2)Dreams of the narc. -Reliving the trauma bond 3)lack of value because I equate my value with being needed. 4) Hyper empathetic sensitivity.it’s torture. I feel and therefore live everything. I’m 58 years old. my life has been lived in pursuit love from (damaged) people (like me) who can’t love me. A self fulfilling prophecy. Im glad I am comfortable being alone and not stuck in my next horrible relationship.
I started giving into the coercion when I realized he needed the validation. That was only the beginning of a 28 year cycle of abuse. Again and again, the thought of the loss of security and his need for validation were the two reasons I stayed. I loved him and wanted to make him happy and for him to feel secure. So, I kept feeding the monster. My happiness slowly fell by the wayside. The anger? Oh, it must be avoided at all cost. It always became that horribly quick flash of anger followed by invalidation, being pushed away and the silent treatment. It was a knife in my heart to always be avoided or stepped around. At all costs. But it happened anyway, he would always find a reason and everything was my fault, always. Not one friend that I ever made during my time with him was ever good enough in his eyes. He watched me like a hawk until toward the end it became so unbearable I'd make any excuse not to be in the same room with him. And finally, because I knew how narcissistic he was, I used that knowledge to maneuver him hundreds of miles away from me and 3 days later went no contact. And that's when the mental nightmare began. Coming out of what they call the "narcissitic fog" was at first the most freeing and happy few days, but then the 20/20 hindsight hits you like a ton of bricks. And eventually I realized that the only reason I allowed it all to happen was because of my childhood traumas. Working so hard to achieve that wonderful life I know I can have. I have issues with every one of these 5 behaviors. Thanks so much for the insight. I'll be spending lots of time on your channel and when I can afford to pay, I will sign up. You are a blessing.
I'm very conservative identifying narcissists. Some people are on my watch list. But when I decide, this person is a narcissist. It always proves to be right. In that I can predict their behaviour which would otherwise be irrational.
I was a fawn. I didn’t want to confront her or speak up. Afraid of losing her. Did not want to be alone. I had no personality. I had no boundaries. I trusted her in the beginning of the relationship but my gut was telling she was not trustworthy. She wanted to keep her options open for someone better. She wanted space. She wanted Saturdays free. Yep. She.wanted her Saturday free. I am I no contact 8 months now. I’m afraid that I don’t trust again. I want another relationship. However, I find myself ruminating about her. She was a toxic person. I don’t want to think of her. The pain and hurt making me stronger. I am working on myself. I am not a bad person. I was a victim and I am healing.
I will pray for healing and peace for you. Jesus loves us and doesn't want us to be in pain. Give all hurt and pain and anxiety to Him and you will see the change in your heart ♥. I wish I could give you a supportive hug. Jesus loves you and so do I. Your Sister in Christ, Just Jen.
@@elizabethdelavega8304what layers. I am ruminating about my toxic ex who cheated on me, lied to me and eventually dumped me for another man. It's been 8 months...so painful...
The next relationship I got into, I told everyone he was the devil. I saw evil intent in everything he said and did! But he was patient and we took things really slow. He allowed me to vent, to fluctuate, to talk about the past trauma, and he also encouraged me to find my independence. We’ve been together eight years now and I cannot believe how messed up I was back then! Healing took place around year 3.
Hi Michelle, I find after being in a Narcissistic relationship that I am easily offended if a man criticizes anything I do or say and not even in a mean way; for example if a man were to say “I wouldn't have said it like that to the person” I’d be on the defensive because I would feel like they are telling me I didn’t say the right thing I also am easily hurt if anyone laughs at something I said because they thought it was stupid I was always told by the Narcissist that I started all the arguments, that I was too friendly with people, that I couldn’t hang the clothes on the line properly that I was thick in the head and I actually sought counseling to find out how I could stop making him angry
over share, I realize I've had almost all narcissistic relationships, yes, I'm highly triggered, my mind stays in the past, I'm angry at myself, I'm not passive-aggressive.
Yes - this can often happen if the person has a strong fight trauma response. That's why regaining balance of all 4 trauma responses are so important! The difference between that and an emotional abuser like a narcissist is the narcissist intentionally hurts you... someone with cptsd can do the same without the ill intent - but in the end it is still hurts the friends and family of those in cptsd recovery
@@FromSurvivingToThriving I punish myself every day, physically [excessive exercise] and emotionally [unworthy, low self esteem.] I think it has to do with physical punishment from my father with the belt. I've just taken over his role on myself. My brother also was beaten, but he doesn't have the same issues with it. I guess it has to do with emotional reaction and personality differences.
I'm still healing and so are my two children I caught myself getting upset at my kids for things they would say that triggered me. I thankfully saw the problem sooner than later and we are continuing to heal. Thank you for all you do!
Hey! I really appreciate your work! Thank you! I just want to add that this is not healthy when we focus only on our brains to detect what is going on around us (especially with CPTSD). I am relying on my body to help me understand what is going on around and who is this person. I literally trained myself to do this. Now I feel deeper connected to my body. When I sit for a moment next to somone i can sense them much better and know/feel if i want to engage more with them or not. Our bodies are amazing and sadly we focus mostly on the brain, heart chakra systems. But my point is that the all system is communicating to us it is possible to train ourselves and rediscover these natural gifts that we all have. Everything is having a frequency and this is something that can be felt.
I was in a 14 year relationship with a malignant narcissist, and to be honest growing up I had no idea what a narcissist Was. I have never heard the word narcissist honestly. I ran away with my ex husband when I was 17 years old (3 months shy of 18), to be with my new boyfriend!! Little did I know what I was really getting myself into. My ex-husband literally cheated on me three weeks after becoming official, and when I confronted him to show me his love he tattoed my name on his arm. He loved bombed me at 17 years old and I grew up with him until I was 31. The cheating never stopped, the abuse mentally never stopped, he would ignore me (which was torture), we didn’t have any friends because he would always scare my friends away. He is 3 years older than me (17 and he was 20) We have four children together now, I don’t remember how I found out a part narcissist people, but when I found out what a narcissist was I was shocked and everything hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD WHY HE DID THE THINGS HE DID!! I realized he never loved me, he actually tortured me and made me believe I was crazy. After 14 years he cheated on me as he always did and it was then that I decided this was it!!! My children were 4,5,8, and 9 years old and I couldn’t allow them to grow up that way!! I let him go and rannnnnn as fast as I could. It has been the best decision of my life!!! Sadly I NEVER imagined the things that would happen to me after….I truly believed leaving him and never seeing him again (he remarried a 21 year old and never came back thank god)….I believe that leaving was it…now I deal with cptsd, my head doesn’t seem to comprehend things sometimes. I am so indecisive 😭, I don’t know how to act correctly in a relationship, my brain doesn’t stop thinking!! I doubt everything and everyone, I don’t believe what men say, I feel like I’ve lost it!!! My children don’t know I suffer from this as I act so good in front of everyone. I wish there was someone I could talk to to understand the things I feel. Thank you for making videos like this, please don’t stop, there are people like me who listen to these videos with hope…as this is alll I have is hope for my Brain to heal and for peace in my mind 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Irs terrible not having anyone to talk to, i feel so alone and have no idea what to do. I'm still teying to figure out how to get away from thw narc i live with.
I'm not the same person....lost clients ( hair dresser) and I cannot get THROUGH NPTSD I'm miserable lost friends...IM STUCK and psychiatrist can't help...medication is just a mask and truly doesn't work....I stay in my home and have no contact with anyone around...I'm brain sick😢 10 yrs of horrible narcissistic man...and it sneaks in then you go through all the stages and am caught in a cocoon. I have a service pit and without her with me I'd die
I like how you used brain sick. Me too! My mind is screwed up. Sad isn't it how we have gone from the happiest people to being nervous wrecks. I can't take rejection of any kind and can't seem to move forward. Thank you for sharing. It's been 2 years and I often think I'm at square one
It’s been about 3 years since I completely cut off contact with my narc father. Its interesting because I identify with every point made, but at the same time I’m also able to see how much I’ve healed in this time. I recognize all of these things a lot quicker in my relationships with others whereas I previously didn’t even recognize them. I didn’t think I had a personality from a very young age, until about 23 after lots of work in therapy. Everyday I make mistakes, but I do my best to recognize, apologize, and try to do what I can to do better because I want to be able to have healthy connections now that I’m an adult. I guess all of this is to say that I’m so proud of myself and thank you. Your videos were and still are major part of my healing, and now at 25 I feel like I have my life back.
This is so right on..I realized with all the narcs in my life even getting them out I was distrustful of people to the point I wasn't able to appreciate the positive and caring ones that showed up. This is really a journey that doesn't happen overnight. It takes alot of courage and strength to do what we are doing... LOVE TO EVERYONE HERE 💝 Thank you Michele for helping us...maybe as we all do this together we are helping each other and others in the world. I
I really appreciated everything you said in this video. But the last 2 I especially related to. I’m at the point where, I just stay alone anymore. I tried meeting other people for a little bit, but, I gave up. I’m very lonely, but I can’t see even trying to meet someone new until I get past my last relationship ( the narcissist). And now, after 4 years, he’s trying to get back in my life... ugh... just when I thought I might possibly be ok, he wants to show back up in my life. There’s a part of me that still love’s him. I’m pretty sure that’s the trauma bonding rearing it’s head at me. I never got over him. But damn, I was almost there, and then, he calls me out of the blue. I’m just really confused still. You’d think after all the crap I went through with him that I would just not answer the call. But, damn me... I did. I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago. And I’ve learned a lot since I last saw him. I don’t know exactly what I’ll do, or how I’ll handle this, but he can already sense that I’m different now. Anyway, thank you for a great video ✌️
If he was bad then,he will be worse now. To take him back might embolden him to treat you worse. Be careful and think long and hard,and ask for guidance from our creator.
@@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 yes there is a few other TH-camrs and most are professionals that explain it just like that!!! It’s a created addition to the narc due to them creating dependency for you. Once you get away you have withdrawals and possibly think you either made a mistake ( consider returning and putting up with their behaviors because it feels familiar and you think you know how to handle them) or drop into depression and anxiety cycle because you don’t have a personal foundation of support and deep self care when it goes down. That’s then the negative thoughts and inner sabotage grip at you like the narc did and all you want is relief. Sending you love and blessings for you to take your time, get your needs met and regain who you are ~a beautiful person who knows how to really love people and can love self fully
Get involved in meetup groups or walking/ biking/ running groups to get your self esteem up. Surround yourself with other positive people and build your network of support. Do not go back to him please because after a few weeks it will start all over again! I promise you! It’s all a game to them- not the same meaning as you interpret the relationship! Run away and no contact at all!
Same to people I trusted as time passed he would get ahold of them and convince them of me being crazy and would get out of said person what we talked about then come back and shame me and insult me
These videos weren't around back in the day 1981-1982. Only If I had this knowledge back then thinking's would have been a lot different in handling sick people. Thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative. ❤
I overshare and i am super hyper vigilant. If my second husband so much as breathed in the direction of another female things got ugly. I know this about myself and told the man i am seeing to keep the ladies he likes to himself for the sanity of both of us. He is a narc. So thats another issue. Oh you just got to this. Nope cannot let past go. Ruminate is one of my middle names. I don’t understand how therapy will fix me.i am 58. Been to therapy before had 2 therapists that were helpful.
Yeah, all of this is true. I lost friendships left and right when I had just left a (possibly) narcicisstic relationship with a friend, I was terribly confused over what had happened and every time someone offered to be there for me or someone else just wanted me to show up (like you do in a healthy relationship) my hypervigilance did not allow me to trust anyone or their intentions. It is incredibly hard. I can't believe how long the road is I still have to go. Sometimes I feel like the rumination is making me go crazy.
I definitely have all these symptoms. It’s is so hard to move forward with my life after 2 narcissistic relationships😢 one of 24 yrs and luckily I figured the 2nd one out and got away after a yr and a half. I don’t want this burden anymore!
My sister is toxic, it hurts to know that her desire is to belittle me. It's sad that we can't have a normal and loving sister relationship. It's just like my mother, I've never had a healthy relationship with her. It's better to ignore their bad behavior, step away.
All of the above, nearly all narcissistic relationships from tiny to last year, since I'm learning this way. I'm getting strong, loving myself and no contact with Marc's including my own son. Man that's new and hurts but it is what it is. Saving myself at 55.
Leah C Me too!!! I tend to overshare when I write comments on these videos as well, but I've noticed that many others do and it's meant to be a safe place after all. I started drinking coffee again, in the form of cappuccinos, which isn't helping either. I started oversharing after I went to see my first counsellor when I was in my 20s, then at AA and NA meetings and mainly Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) meetings. I'd talk to people out of those spaces as if they were all on similar wavelengths, or as if they had empathy, yet it wasn't always the case. Mind you, there are a lot of highly narcissistic and even dangerous people at AA and NA meetings, hence why I stopped sharing altogether there and ended up leaving. And I've just done it again...😩
@@cyndigooch1162 thank you for over sharing because I do it too! But crap.. when you have literally no one else to talk to about this stuff, it’s like a way to get it all out. And make other people feel less alone and like their feeling and experiences are valid.. and maybe get some validation yourself. I had to cut off the coffee completely, but have one for me. Haha
I dated a girl who was diagnosed with cptsd. I believe she might have borderline but it’s so similar. All of these behaviors she exhibited. Hyper vigilance to everything I said. She was extremely jealous, to the point she disliked any of my *attractive* friends or coworkers that are girls. She was triggered by various things. She had double standards in regards to social media, because I was a guy. Trying to tell her I wasn’t like her ex boyfriends, showing her different logic or having her see my point of view based off MY experiences was impossible. I loved her even with all these behaviors. I still do. I made mistakes of my own, and especially because of her hyper vigilance my language and communication style didn’t work for her. I wish she hadn’t gone through as much as she did when she was younger. I wish I didn’t go through what I did either. I wish I could talk to her, but she excommunicated me. She is probably under the impression I’m a narcissist. I can’t tell if I am or if she just was projecting these things onto me as a response. I always considered myself codependent. I miss her a ton.
@@faa1412 it helps to have others see those points as well. It’s been a while since I wrote that message and some other things have happened since then that kinda secured my thoughts that she is higher on the narcissistic spectrum. Two months after we broke up she called me at 5 in the morning. Didn’t answer or call back and realized a week later it’s bc she was already seeing someone else. She had blamed me and our relationship for her not taking care of herself and said she wasn’t ready for something else. All lies.
Idk but it feels like you are aware of abuse but don’t want to say it’s them because they start to express the same feeling as you then we say “maybe it’s not them who is abusing me” because if it were them they wouldn’t be feeling what we’re feeling…
They are the abuser - I'm not scared of saying that. But understanding that fact will not heal you - it will make you aware of why you are suffering but it will not heal the suffering. We first look at them and understand the abuse... then the next stage of healing is to look inside and heal the wounds within!!!
Me too! I suspect that it’s because I want to be seen and heard and validated, and in truth co-dependents want similar so we migrate to each other in our still fresh wounded ness thinking we are better off, not realizing we needed to work on ourselves and heal our broken heart and past. Learned that the hard way!
I'm 7 months no contact. I over share. In the beginning things were good but at 2 months things got worse 😢 I didn't know what was happening? Why was it getting worse? I vaguely thought it was PTSD but I was just focused on staying the course. I was still freaked out by the demonic attack that happened (yes, it really happened 😳) but now I realize about the triggers. I'm bound and determined to never be with him again and yet I keep ruminating about him. I just want to get off the merry go round 😢
I lost both parents by the time I was 5. The government put drug addict child molesters to raise me. My siblings used me as a scape goat. We were all abused but I was the most because I was the youngist . Now we are adults I'm 55 and none of us get along. They all left me there for the monsters . My sisters verbally attack me . I'm like Cinderella. With the 2 ugly sisters. My bother doesnt talk to us and everything is always my fault. I have to cut them out of my head and my heart. We never had a relationship. I have no family. I cant be around people anymore. My last job I quit. My gay boss was a narcissist. He told me I'm nothing. What's wrong with these people. It's like they want me dead.
Great video and a lot of this rings true for me! I was very isolated from friends over the course of my relationship and when I broke up with my boyfriend after five years, it was difficult to try to get out and meet people and reconnect with people again. I think I tend to under share in relationships. It takes me awhile to trust people and I find that not a lot of people have the patience to take the time to get to know me better before I feel comfortable to open up.
I'm a "fawner". This is actually exactly why my mom is upset with my currently... I didn't "overshare". Even though I actually did. Now I'm being "terrible" due to not oversharing. It's a serious sickness.
I was in a narcissistic marriage for 22 years it was the hardest thing I did was to get a divorce. I am now remarried to an incredible spouse the first year of marriage I had highly triggered responses. He has been amazing in being supportive and positive in his responses we have gone and sought out additional help together but I still feel like I am fighting daily with negative thoughts and fears of doubt and trust with my partner feeling like waiting for the show to drop.Though it comes in waves and my spouse rolls with the punches I hate it. I've done NLP which has tremendously helped but I just hate it and just want it to go away and don't feel it's fair to my spouse. Any resources would be greatly appreciated.
way to find see or recognize. They call the hypervigilance...in events the availability heuristic. Not sure about spelling. It seems just like a prior experience, so the two become similar and may not be any connection. So yes it needs to be considered...it's difficult at first.
It resonated. I am living what you described. I am hyper vigilant and I can recognize a narcissistic. I feel like a wounded animal as you said. I do not trust easily. I go to sleep and wake up having flashbacks of what my ex husband has done to me. I set bondaries but the contact can not be zero. I am getting better but I am scared of people. I do not allow any person to come close.
I'd like to know more about the RAS and nightmares and bad dreams. Do nightmares and bad dreams ever go away. While anxiolytics and muscle relaxers may help, who wants a lifetime of that? Also what is the role of RAS in daytime ruminating?
I heard there has been some positive results with somatic release with the vagus nerve. Also there is a book called the body keeps the score. To me it sounds like as you are healing and processing through it all the body isn’t processing it to clear it out. Our body biochemically could be continuing to keep the score to this day and hijacking your ability to get rest and let go of the actual trauma responses. Just wanted to share. Sending you peace and restful sleep!!!
I am fawning,hyperventilate..triggert..and for so long oversharing..but i want to share something about oversharing in my case my mother is a covert narcissist..for as long i can remeber she told me i was a lier..she forst me to tell her everything who was in my live what i was doing..told me she knew me better then myself and i was not a good person..and everyone who got to know the real me would never liked me..this made me oversharing so much about everything even my mistakes regrets..because i believed my mother and tought i will worn people about me..its crazy i now.
10:18 not sure my trauma response but I don’t think I’m a fawn? I am hyper aware of how he’s feeling even when he doesn’t say anything. I’ve been told I’m in fight or flight a lot
I prefer to look on the bright side of people as we all endure broken relationships. There's no reason to make it obvious but you do know (however they've been affected) they are going to enjoy some really great new experiences that will be sure to blow them away. Pain could be the freshest means to encourage new found joy. Just you gotta be certain to catch it while it does. The main thing is you don't let others get themselves robbed of it including most particularly ones own self. Part of blocking CPTSD is finding and applying the compensatory elements just at the right time. It lowers the reactivity.
Yes I do both under share and over share but the older I get the more I have a firm form of standing up for myself and putting my best foot forward.I go slow and give little parts of trust now instead of tons of it at first
hey , at around 5 minutes. you mentioned that healthy people dont react well to others oversharing. i have been diagnosed with cptsd and i love hearing people share deep stuff cause it makes me feel safe around them. or is that something narcc or toxic in me or is that for most with ptsd where we dont notice it being abnormal to "overshare / tell the deep stuff to people, ? or are wwe just out of match on feelings of closeness
I can’t find a counselor in my country who knows about narcissistic abuse and doesn’t victims blame you into even more trauma bonding … I started to get panic attacks I never had before but I’m still living in the abusive family system.. maybe my body could handle the abuse better before I knew it was abuse.. I hope I’ll gather the strength to heal and let go and break off all contact 💕
Your already healing reaching out and taken time to understand what's happening one day hoping soon for you everything will just be a experience and you will have true happiness, sending love ❤️
My parent fed me tasty, tasty, delicious poison. She designated me Golden Child, while scourging around the town, dissapointing her own kid with her vices, making me be this therapist, while she instilled a false sense of empathy within me. My brother decided to have a career, become busy, and have his own life and family. But she's "the mother". And she pretty much ramped up her aggression at my brother until even I had to take notice. It was explained to me that Mom gave me such a calm demeanor because I am Autistic and she feels I am easy to trick.
So, after watching Dr. Ramani weekly (whom I’ll more than likely.praise until the day I die), as well as personally educating myself via individual (as well as couple’s) therapy, countless books specific to the topic, etc.--HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS PERSON YET?! What a blessing you are. I’ve already subscribed and watched 3 of your videos in entirety and each one has caused me to think multiple times, “I couldn’t have said it better myself..” thank you! 🥂🏆🫶
Wow! You really don’t know how the abuse really screws you up until you lose the love of your life. I realize that I have unhealed childhood traumas. I have been triggered by my spouses step father and her mother. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I’m asking for Creators guidance and direction and strength to get through this in a good way. I know there is good in all of us. My healing journey continues …
1. I grew up mostly under sharing. But after a traumatic experience in my 30's I began to Over share. 2.I have Always been hyper vigilant, but I have not been so lucky to notice the Narcissist traits; I wish I could have. 3.I am sure this happens.... 4. ABSOLUTELY ON POINT!! 5. This one is I believe for me is off and on true
How about Father, mother,husband, divorce, kids don’t want you in their life now that they have their lives. Yes now how to live my life. Thank you. Been out since 2013
Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU. Your examples and explanations are some of the best and most helpful for understanding & healing that I’ve heard after hours and hours of listening to videos on CPTSD
Gosh. I love you..❤️. Your help is so good.. I think it’s especially good coming from a lovely attractive woman..lol. So good. How did u end up getting into this…???
It’s really strange after I spend a day with a narcissist, they will dredge up memories that are really traumatic and these thoughts will stay in my mind for days to follow. These invalidating or negative thought will be so obsessive. I’ve just really begun to notice this. It’s exhausting
I see them everywhere, including my Boss at work. It's aweful. I used to be Sooo optimistic about the silver lining in every situation, Now, not sure what to do with my pain.
I am currently stuck in fight or flight mode. Also my body freezes heart palpitations my brain freezes that I can’t even think straight when someone’s talking to me when ever have I have a social interaction I think I may be suffering from severe CPTSD I come from a family of narcissists and I was the scapegoat in my family system. My entire lifetime I’ve recently realized most of my relationships/friendships have been with abusers/toxic individuals. I feel so broken now at 24, I used to be the life of the party and now I can’t leave my house. I recently got out of a relationship with a sociopath/malignant narcissist where I also became the scapegoat at some point in his family system. I also am stuck living with a narcissistic mother that verbally abuses me on a daily basis I see no escape from the abuse it’s like genuinely everywhere I go I seem to attract the same people that now I have severe trust issues I don’t even want to get to know anyone. They ruin lives may we heal and may they pay one day for their shameless sins against innocent good souls I really don’t know how to heal I feel so lonely no one around meunderstands truly
1. Over share or under share
2. Lack of trust - hyper vigilance towards narcissistic traits
3. Being highly triggered
4. Being able to let the past go - ruminating on the past. Trauma loops. Not being present.
5. Being passive aggressive - parent associations
Being unable*
There I am
Me
(1) - Yes
(2) - Yes
(3) - No
(4) - Sometimes, but only when I around my ex.
(5) - Yes/No - sometimes I can't resist the urge to be petty and give back my ex a a dose of her own behaviour ! When I do it, I'm fully aware of what I'm doing as opposed to my ex who is oblivious to her own behaviour and sees nothing wrong when she does it, but she gets so mad if you treat her the way she is treating you. I try to not do it. I'm working on that.
Yes there are triggers. You have to use checks and balances. You need good communication. Narcissists never let us talk about our problems, nothing was ever worked out. Finding anyone who is willing to deal with the baggage is difficult, yes. Yes yes. The isolation was terrible, and covid isn't helping either. And low monetary circumstances makes life really a struggle. Thanks....
I’m 6 years no contact from 16 year of NA. It took years for my nerves to settle. I am still empty inside which brought me here.
Some of the many symptoms I’m having :
1)Self isolation- Controlling my environment.
2)Dreams of the narc. -Reliving the trauma bond
3)lack of value because I equate my value with being needed.
4) Hyper empathetic sensitivity.it’s torture. I feel and therefore live everything.
I’m 58 years old. my life has been lived in pursuit love from (damaged) people (like me) who can’t love me. A self fulfilling prophecy.
Im glad I am comfortable being alone and not stuck in my next horrible relationship.
I started giving into the coercion when I realized he needed the validation. That was only the beginning of a 28 year cycle of abuse. Again and again, the thought of the loss of security and his need for validation were the two reasons I stayed. I loved him and wanted to make him happy and for him to feel secure. So, I kept feeding the monster. My happiness slowly fell by the wayside. The anger? Oh, it must be avoided at all cost. It always became that horribly quick flash of anger followed by invalidation, being pushed away and the silent treatment. It was a knife in my heart to always be avoided or stepped around. At all costs. But it happened anyway, he would always find a reason and everything was my fault, always. Not one friend that I ever made during my time with him was ever good enough in his eyes. He watched me like a hawk until toward the end it became so unbearable I'd make any excuse not to be in the same room with him. And finally, because I knew how narcissistic he was, I used that knowledge to maneuver him hundreds of miles away from me and 3 days later went no contact. And that's when the mental nightmare began. Coming out of what they call the "narcissitic fog" was at first the most freeing and happy few days, but then the 20/20 hindsight hits you like a ton of bricks. And eventually I realized that the only reason I allowed it all to happen was because of my childhood traumas. Working so hard to achieve that wonderful life I know I can have. I have issues with every one of these 5 behaviors. Thanks so much for the insight. I'll be spending lots of time on your channel and when I can afford to pay, I will sign up. You are a blessing.
I'm very conservative identifying narcissists. Some people are on my watch list. But when I decide, this person is a narcissist. It always proves to be right. In that I can predict their behaviour which would otherwise be irrational.
Same here. They have this coldness and void to them that is hard to miss
I was a fawn. I didn’t want to confront her or speak up. Afraid of losing her. Did not want to be alone. I had no personality. I had no boundaries. I trusted her in the beginning of the relationship but my gut was telling she was not trustworthy. She wanted to keep her options open for someone better. She wanted space. She wanted Saturdays free. Yep. She.wanted her Saturday free. I am I no contact 8 months now. I’m afraid that I don’t trust again. I want another relationship. However, I find myself ruminating about her. She was a toxic person. I don’t want to think of her. The pain and hurt making me stronger. I am working on myself. I am not a bad person. I was a victim and I am healing.
You’re not ready…if you’re still ruminating that’s a clear indicator to continue healing and growing. Go through the layers, you’ll get there🙌🏼
Wow... I didn't think I'd read a comment of something exactly similar to what I was feeling or went through
I will pray for healing and peace for you. Jesus loves us and doesn't want us to be in pain. Give all hurt and pain and anxiety to Him and you will see the change in your heart ♥. I wish I could give you a supportive hug. Jesus loves you and so do I. Your Sister in Christ, Just Jen.
@@elizabethdelavega8304what layers. I am ruminating about my toxic ex who cheated on me, lied to me and eventually dumped me for another man. It's been 8 months...so painful...
How to heal from such toxic person? I ruminate everyday.
The next relationship I got into, I told everyone he was the devil. I saw evil intent in everything he said and did! But he was patient and we took things really slow. He allowed me to vent, to fluctuate, to talk about the past trauma, and he also encouraged me to find my independence. We’ve been together eight years now and I cannot believe how messed up I was back then! Healing took place around year 3.
What you focus on grows. That's just something I have noticed in my own life.
Hi Michelle,
I find after being in a Narcissistic relationship that I am easily offended if a man criticizes anything I do or say and not even in a mean way; for example if a man were to say “I wouldn't have said it like that to the person” I’d be on the defensive because I would feel like they are telling me I didn’t say the right thing
I also am easily hurt if anyone laughs at something I said because they thought it was stupid
I was always told by the Narcissist that I started all the arguments, that I was too friendly with people, that I couldn’t hang the clothes on the line properly that I was thick in the head and I actually sought counseling to find out how I could stop making him angry
over share, I realize I've had almost all narcissistic relationships, yes, I'm highly triggered, my mind stays in the past, I'm angry at myself, I'm not passive-aggressive.
The first trauma response resonates heavily with me.
I undershare.
Question? Can someone with complex ptsd become abusive themselves?
Yes
Yes - this can often happen if the person has a strong fight trauma response. That's why regaining balance of all 4 trauma responses are so important! The difference between that and an emotional abuser like a narcissist is the narcissist intentionally hurts you... someone with cptsd can do the same without the ill intent - but in the end it is still hurts the friends and family of those in cptsd recovery
@@FromSurvivingToThriving I punish myself every day, physically [excessive exercise] and emotionally [unworthy, low self esteem.] I think it has to do with physical punishment from my father with the belt. I've just taken over his role on myself. My brother also was beaten, but he doesn't have the same issues with it. I guess it has to do with emotional reaction and personality differences.
I'm still healing and so are my two children I caught myself getting upset at my kids for things they would say that triggered me. I thankfully saw the problem sooner than later and we are continuing to heal.
Thank you for all you do!
Hey! I really appreciate your work! Thank you! I just want to add that this is not healthy when we focus only on our brains to detect what is going on around us (especially with CPTSD). I am relying on my body to help me understand what is going on around and who is this person. I literally trained myself to do this. Now I feel deeper connected to my body. When I sit for a moment next to somone i can sense them much better and know/feel if i want to engage more with them or not. Our bodies are amazing and sadly we focus mostly on the brain, heart chakra systems. But my point is that the all system is communicating to us it is possible to train ourselves and rediscover these natural gifts that we all have. Everything is having a frequency and this is something that can be felt.
Where did you learn this? I’d be interested in learning more.
I was in a 14 year relationship with a malignant narcissist, and to be honest growing up I had no idea what a narcissist Was. I have never heard the word narcissist honestly. I ran away with my ex husband when I was 17 years old (3 months shy of 18), to be with my new boyfriend!! Little did I know what I was really getting myself into. My ex-husband literally cheated on me three weeks after becoming official, and when I confronted him to show me his love he tattoed my name on his arm. He loved bombed me at 17 years old and I grew up with him until I was 31. The cheating never stopped, the abuse mentally never stopped, he would ignore me (which was torture), we didn’t have any friends because he would always scare my friends away. He is 3 years older than me (17 and he was 20) We have four children together now, I don’t remember how I found out a part narcissist people, but when I found out what a narcissist was I was shocked and everything hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD WHY HE DID THE THINGS HE DID!! I realized he never loved me, he actually tortured me and made me believe I was crazy. After 14 years he cheated on me as he always did and it was then that I decided this was it!!! My children were 4,5,8, and 9 years old and I couldn’t allow them to grow up that way!! I let him go and rannnnnn as fast as I could. It has been the best decision of my life!!! Sadly I NEVER imagined the things that would happen to me after….I truly believed leaving him and never seeing him again (he remarried a 21 year old and never came back thank god)….I believe that leaving was it…now I deal with cptsd, my head doesn’t seem to comprehend things sometimes. I am so indecisive 😭, I don’t know how to act correctly in a relationship, my brain doesn’t stop thinking!! I doubt everything and everyone, I don’t believe what men say, I feel like I’ve lost it!!! My children don’t know I suffer from this as I act so good in front of everyone. I wish there was someone I could talk to to understand the things I feel. Thank you for making videos like this, please don’t stop, there are people like me who listen to these videos with hope…as this is alll I have is hope for my Brain to heal and for peace in my mind 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Irs terrible not having anyone to talk to, i feel so alone and have no idea what to do. I'm still teying to figure out how to get away from thw narc i live with.
I'm not the same person....lost clients ( hair dresser) and I cannot get THROUGH NPTSD I'm miserable lost friends...IM STUCK and psychiatrist can't help...medication is just a mask and truly doesn't work....I stay in my home and have no contact with anyone around...I'm brain sick😢 10 yrs of horrible narcissistic man...and it sneaks in then you go through all the stages and am caught in a cocoon. I have a service pit and without her with me I'd die
I like how you used brain sick. Me too! My mind is screwed up. Sad isn't it how we have gone from the happiest people to being nervous wrecks. I can't take rejection of any kind and can't seem to move forward. Thank you for sharing. It's been 2 years and I often think I'm at square one
It’s been about 3 years since I completely cut off contact with my narc father. Its interesting because I identify with every point made, but at the same time I’m also able to see how much I’ve healed in this time. I recognize all of these things a lot quicker in my relationships with others whereas I previously didn’t even recognize them. I didn’t think I had a personality from a very young age, until about 23 after lots of work in therapy. Everyday I make mistakes, but I do my best to recognize, apologize, and try to do what I can to do better because I want to be able to have healthy connections now that I’m an adult. I guess all of this is to say that I’m so proud of myself and thank you. Your videos were and still are major part of my healing, and now at 25 I feel like I have my life back.
That is amazing
I think I can relate to that a lot
Wish you a lot of learning and healing and peace
Congratulations 🎉
I am proud of you and look up to your process. I'm in a similar boat and it is not easy. Pat yourself on your shoulder ❤
@@julsisisi Thank you! I'm wishing you the very best in your healing
This is so right on..I realized with all the narcs in my life even getting them out I was distrustful of people to the point I wasn't able to appreciate the positive and caring ones that showed up.
This is really a journey that doesn't happen overnight.
It takes alot of courage and strength to do what we are doing...
LOVE TO EVERYONE HERE 💝
Thank you Michele for helping us...maybe as we all do this together we are helping each other and others in the world.
I
This is a great video! I do have Fawn and Freeze response. I’m giving myself more time to understand all of this trauma.
Highly triggered is one of the aspects that I am dealing with right now!
You really have some next-level insight into the narcissistic mind, arguably the best on TH-cam
Your name is Michelle Lee Nieves. Don’t diminish yourself by introducing yourself like you’re a good server or receptionist.
Thank you so much for sharing, truly appreciate you. God bless you 🙏🏽👌🏿🦋
Such a useful video! Thank you.😊
I grew up in a family system and not knowing I’d be married to one.. going through some emotional rage especially at night
I really appreciated everything you said in this video. But the last 2 I especially related to. I’m at the point where, I just stay alone anymore. I tried meeting other people for a little bit, but, I gave up. I’m very lonely, but I can’t see even trying to meet someone new until I get past my last relationship ( the narcissist). And now, after 4 years, he’s trying to get back in my life... ugh... just when I thought I might possibly be ok, he wants to show back up in my life. There’s a part of me that still love’s him. I’m pretty sure that’s the trauma bonding rearing it’s head at me. I never got over him. But damn, I was almost there, and then, he calls me out of the blue. I’m just really confused still. You’d think after all the crap I went through with him that I would just not answer the call. But, damn me... I did. I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago. And I’ve learned a lot since I last saw him. I don’t know exactly what I’ll do, or how I’ll handle this, but he can already sense that I’m different now. Anyway, thank you for a great video ✌️
If he was bad then,he will be worse now. To take him back might embolden him to treat you worse. Be careful and think long and hard,and ask for guidance from our creator.
@@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 yes there is a few other TH-camrs and most are professionals that explain it just like that!!! It’s a created addition to the narc due to them creating dependency for you. Once you get away you have withdrawals and possibly think you either made a mistake ( consider returning and putting up with their behaviors because it feels familiar and you think you know how to handle them) or drop into depression and anxiety cycle because you don’t have a personal foundation of support and deep self care when it goes down. That’s then the negative thoughts and inner sabotage grip at you like the narc did and all you want is relief. Sending you love and blessings for you to take your time, get your needs met and regain who you are ~a beautiful person who knows how to really love people and can love self fully
Get involved in meetup groups or walking/ biking/ running groups to get your self esteem up. Surround yourself with other positive people and build your network of support. Do not go back to him please because after a few weeks it will start all over again! I promise you! It’s all a game to them- not the same meaning as you interpret the relationship!
Run away and no contact at all!
BLOCK HIM!
I overshared with the wrong person. They reported back to the Narcissist.
Same to people I trusted as time passed he would get ahold of them and convince them of me being crazy and would get out of said person what we talked about then come back and shame me and insult me
These videos weren't around back in the day 1981-1982. Only If I had this knowledge back then thinking's would have been a lot different in handling sick people. Thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative. ❤
I overshare and i am super hyper vigilant. If my second husband so much as breathed in the direction of another female things got ugly. I know this about myself and told the man i am seeing to keep the ladies he likes to himself for the sanity of both of us. He is a narc. So thats another issue. Oh you just got to this. Nope cannot let past go. Ruminate is one of my middle names. I don’t understand how therapy will fix me.i am 58. Been to therapy before had 2 therapists that were helpful.
Yeah, all of this is true. I lost friendships left and right when I had just left a (possibly) narcicisstic relationship with a friend, I was terribly confused over what had happened and every time someone offered to be there for me or someone else just wanted me to show up (like you do in a healthy relationship) my hypervigilance did not allow me to trust anyone or their intentions. It is incredibly hard. I can't believe how long the road is I still have to go. Sometimes I feel like the rumination is making me go crazy.
I definitely have all these symptoms. It’s is so hard to move forward with my life after 2 narcissistic relationships😢 one of 24 yrs and luckily I figured the 2nd one out and got away after a yr and a half. I don’t want this burden anymore!
Better off watching your videow than going to a therapist who interupts every 3 sentences
My sister is toxic, it hurts to know that her desire is to belittle me. It's sad that we can't have a normal and loving sister relationship. It's just like my mother, I've never had a healthy relationship with her. It's better to ignore their bad behavior, step away.
All of the above, nearly all narcissistic relationships from tiny to last year, since I'm learning this way. I'm getting strong, loving myself and no contact with Marc's including my own son. Man that's new and hurts but it is what it is. Saving myself at 55.
Your voice is therapy Michele 🙏♥️
Riiiight???😌
Needed to hear this today 🙏🏼💜
Thank you 🙏💗✨
Oversharer 😳🙈😭💔
Leah C Me too!!! I tend to overshare when I write comments on these videos as well, but I've noticed that many others do and it's meant to be a safe place after all. I started drinking coffee again, in the form of cappuccinos, which isn't helping either.
I started oversharing after I went to see my first counsellor when I was in my 20s, then at AA and NA meetings and mainly Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) meetings. I'd talk to people out of those spaces as if they were all on similar wavelengths, or as if they had empathy, yet it wasn't always the case.
Mind you, there are a lot of highly narcissistic and even dangerous people at AA and NA meetings, hence why I stopped sharing altogether there and ended up leaving. And I've just done it again...😩
@@cyndigooch1162 thank you for over sharing because I do it too! But crap.. when you have literally no one else to talk to about this stuff, it’s like a way to get it all out. And make other people feel less alone and like their feeling and experiences are valid.. and maybe get some validation yourself. I had to cut off the coffee completely, but have one for me. Haha
I wont marry or date after this period!
Great video, you’re awesome! Thanks for your information and passion 🙏
I dated a girl who was diagnosed with cptsd. I believe she might have borderline but it’s so similar.
All of these behaviors she exhibited. Hyper vigilance to everything I said. She was extremely jealous, to the point she disliked any of my *attractive* friends or coworkers that are girls. She was triggered by various things. She had double standards in regards to social media, because I was a guy. Trying to tell her I wasn’t like her ex boyfriends, showing her different logic or having her see my point of view based off MY experiences was impossible. I loved her even with all these behaviors. I still do.
I made mistakes of my own, and especially because of her hyper vigilance my language and communication style didn’t work for her. I wish she hadn’t gone through as much as she did when she was younger. I wish I didn’t go through what I did either. I wish I could talk to her, but she excommunicated me. She is probably under the impression I’m a narcissist. I can’t tell if I am or if she just was projecting these things onto me as a response. I always considered myself codependent. I miss her a ton.
Bless you
I'm sorry but it sounds like she was the narcissist.
@@faa1412 it helps to have others see those points as well. It’s been a while since I wrote that message and some other things have happened since then that kinda secured my thoughts that she is higher on the narcissistic spectrum. Two months after we broke up she called me at 5 in the morning. Didn’t answer or call back and realized a week later it’s bc she was already seeing someone else. She had blamed me and our relationship for her not taking care of herself and said she wasn’t ready for something else. All lies.
Send her flowers, and then write her a letter.
@@faa1412No it sounds like he is
Idk but it feels like you are aware of abuse but don’t want to say it’s them because they start to express the same feeling as you then we say “maybe it’s not them who is abusing me” because if it were them they wouldn’t be feeling what we’re feeling…
They are the abuser - I'm not scared of saying that. But understanding that fact will not heal you - it will make you aware of why you are suffering but it will not heal the suffering. We first look at them and understand the abuse... then the next stage of healing is to look inside and heal the wounds within!!!
Y some people r immune??to narcissist.ive seen coz they r not emotional n deep thinkers they have busy life no time for abuse
So true! And I became this towards codependent people too even if I am still healing my own codependency
Me too! I suspect that it’s because I want to be seen and heard and validated, and in truth co-dependents want similar so we migrate to each other in our still fresh wounded ness thinking we are better off, not realizing we needed to work on ourselves and heal our broken heart and past. Learned that the hard way!
I'm 7 months no contact. I over share. In the beginning things were good but at 2 months things got worse 😢 I didn't know what was happening? Why was it getting worse? I vaguely thought it was PTSD but I was just focused on staying the course. I was still freaked out by the demonic attack that happened (yes, it really happened 😳) but now I realize about the triggers. I'm bound and determined to never be with him again and yet I keep ruminating about him. I just want to get off the merry go round 😢
I lost both parents by the time I was 5. The government put drug addict child molesters to raise me. My siblings used me as a scape goat. We were all abused but I was the most because I was the youngist . Now we are adults I'm 55 and none of us get along. They all left me there for the monsters . My sisters verbally attack me . I'm like Cinderella. With the 2 ugly sisters. My bother doesnt talk to us and everything is always my fault. I have to cut them out of my head and my heart. We never had a relationship. I have no family. I cant be around people anymore. My last job I quit. My gay boss was a narcissist. He told me I'm nothing. What's wrong with these people. It's like they want me dead.
Everyone has to give up on these painful relationships 💔 its PAINFUL as hell
Hard when you start thinking, your children are little narcissists! Then you know you are probably overreacting. Oh boy.
Great video and a lot of this rings true for me! I was very isolated from friends over the course of my relationship and when I broke up with my boyfriend after five years, it was difficult to try to get out and meet people and reconnect with people again.
I think I tend to under share in relationships. It takes me awhile to trust people and I find that not a lot of people have the patience to take the time to get to know me better before I feel comfortable to open up.
I'm a "fawner". This is actually exactly why my mom is upset with my currently... I didn't "overshare". Even though I actually did. Now I'm being "terrible" due to not oversharing. It's a serious sickness.
Pregnant WOMEN not people.
I was in a narcissistic marriage for 22 years it was the hardest thing I did was to get a divorce. I am now remarried to an incredible spouse the first year of marriage I had highly triggered responses. He has been amazing in being supportive and positive in his responses we have gone and sought out additional help together but I still feel like I am fighting daily with negative thoughts and fears of doubt and trust with my partner feeling like waiting for the show to drop.Though it comes in waves and my spouse rolls with the punches I hate it. I've done NLP which has tremendously helped but I just hate it and just want it to go away and don't feel it's fair to my spouse. Any resources would be greatly appreciated.
way to find see or recognize. They call the hypervigilance...in events the availability heuristic. Not sure about spelling. It seems just like a prior experience, so the two become similar and may not be any connection. So yes it needs to be considered...it's difficult at first.
It resonated. I am living what you described. I am hyper vigilant and I can recognize a narcissistic. I feel like a wounded animal as you said. I do not trust easily. I go to sleep and wake up having flashbacks of what my ex husband has done to me. I set bondaries but the contact can not be zero. I am getting better but I am scared of people. I do not allow any person to come close.
ALL his flying monkeys.... Including his children and family.
Omg this is helpful. Number 2 hit home. They all did.
I have found my first gut reaction usually turns out to be true. I tend to give too much benefit of the doubt.
The creation theory...that's kind of proven in my life, just as you described..your eyes are open in a particular
I'd like to know more about the RAS and nightmares and bad dreams. Do nightmares and bad dreams ever go away. While anxiolytics and muscle relaxers may help, who wants a lifetime of that? Also what is the role of RAS in daytime ruminating?
I heard there has been some positive results with somatic release with the vagus nerve. Also there is a book called the body keeps the score. To me it sounds like as you are healing and processing through it all the body isn’t processing it to clear it out. Our body biochemically could be continuing to keep the score to this day and hijacking your ability to get rest and let go of the actual trauma responses. Just wanted to share. Sending you peace and restful sleep!!!
I am fawning,hyperventilate..triggert..and for so long oversharing..but i want to share something about oversharing in my case my mother is a covert narcissist..for as long i can remeber she told me i was a lier..she forst me to tell her everything who was in my live what i was doing..told me she knew me better then myself and i was not a good person..and everyone who got to know the real me would never liked me..this made me oversharing so much about everything even my mistakes regrets..because i believed my mother and tought i will worn people about me..its crazy i now.
I was already in c-ptsd triggers when i met my narc. Im overwhelmed constantly with a drinking problem to cope.
Those all apply to me. Precisely coaching I was looking for. I’m not sure I will ever be in a relationship again. It’s been five years.
10:18 not sure my trauma response but I don’t think I’m a fawn?
I am hyper aware of how he’s feeling even when he doesn’t say anything. I’ve been told I’m in fight or flight a lot
Thank you for caring… I have ALL of them. I thought I was fine but trying to date and now I don’t know
A million like 👏👏👏👏
Every time you revealed your personality you were punished 🤯
I prefer to look on the bright side of people as we all endure broken relationships. There's no reason to make it obvious but you do know (however they've been affected) they are going to enjoy some really great new experiences that will be sure to blow them away. Pain could be the freshest means to encourage new found joy. Just you gotta be certain to catch it while it does.
The main thing is you don't let others get themselves robbed of it including most particularly ones own self. Part of blocking CPTSD is finding and applying the compensatory elements just at the right time. It lowers the reactivity.
I only have work friends but it’s only at work I would love to get together with them but my husband would get in the way somehow
Yes I do both under share and over share but the older I get the more I have a firm form of standing up for myself and putting my best foot forward.I go slow and give little parts of trust now instead of tons of it at first
hey , at around 5 minutes. you mentioned that healthy people dont react well to others oversharing. i have been diagnosed with cptsd and i love hearing people share deep stuff cause it makes me feel safe around them. or is that something narcc or toxic in me or is that for most with ptsd where we dont notice it being abnormal to "overshare / tell the deep stuff to people, ? or are wwe just out of match on feelings of closeness
I can’t find a counselor in my country who knows about narcissistic abuse and doesn’t victims blame you into even more trauma bonding …
I started to get panic attacks I never had before but I’m still living in the abusive family system.. maybe my body could handle the abuse better before I knew it was abuse.. I hope I’ll gather the strength to heal and let go and break off all contact 💕
Your already healing reaching out and taken time to understand what's happening one day hoping soon for you everything will just be a experience and you will have true happiness, sending love ❤️
@@staceyx341 thank you ❤️
This is amazing information. I cried. I need to hear these things and realize I'm not alone and it's a real thing. Thank you so much ❤
What are the times the daily Thriver Group meets ? (California, US time) Christine
My parent fed me tasty, tasty, delicious poison. She designated me Golden Child, while scourging around the town, dissapointing her own kid with her vices, making me be this therapist, while she instilled a false sense of empathy within me. My brother decided to have a career, become busy, and have his own life and family. But she's "the mother". And she pretty much ramped up her aggression at my brother until even I had to take notice. It was explained to me that Mom gave me such a calm demeanor because I am Autistic and she feels I am easy to trick.
I am 37. My brother's older.
So, after watching Dr. Ramani weekly (whom I’ll more than likely.praise until the day I die), as well as personally educating myself via individual (as well as couple’s) therapy, countless books specific to the topic, etc.--HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS PERSON YET?! What a blessing you are. I’ve already subscribed and watched 3 of your videos in entirety and each one has caused me to think multiple times, “I couldn’t have said it better myself..” thank you! 🥂🏆🫶
So So true I ketch myself and I hate it people take it and use it
I have always thought there was something extremely wrong with me as an adult i had nervous breakdowns cause it finally caught up to me
Wow! You really don’t know how the abuse really screws you up until you lose the love of your life. I realize that I have unhealed childhood traumas. I have been triggered by my spouses step father and her mother. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I’m asking for Creators guidance and direction and strength to get through this in a good way. I know there is good in all of us. My healing journey continues …
Isolation from my own children and friends and family. I Fawn AloT now.
How do I find the one on one live counseling appointments
Great video, thanks Michele.
They constantly bullied me to keep me from healing 😪 💔 but im going to keep healing no matter what happens to me.
Yes. I have had a strong defense reaction. 13:42
30 years here. Since we were 14 & 15. I resognate with it all and realize how much im still in a very active toxic marriage & diagnosed cptsd
Yeap right on, everything thing you said
Id be like umm i dont know where to go from here ....
I suffer from all of them.
Yep forced to be someone you dont want to be
1. I grew up mostly under sharing. But after a traumatic experience in my 30's I began to Over share.
2.I have Always been hyper vigilant, but I have not been so lucky to notice the Narcissist traits; I wish I could have.
3.I am sure this happens....
4. ABSOLUTELY ON POINT!!
5. This one is I believe for me is off and on true
How about Father, mother,husband, divorce, kids don’t want you in their life now that they have their lives. Yes now how to live my life. Thank you. Been out since 2013
Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU. Your examples and explanations are some of the best and most helpful for understanding & healing that I’ve heard after hours and hours of listening to videos on CPTSD
🕊
Fawn
I've also had the freez and triggered
Gosh. I love you..❤️. Your help is so good.. I think it’s especially good coming from a lovely attractive woman..lol. So good.
How did u end up getting into this…???
I didnt know i had cptsd... i do know now
It’s really strange after I spend a day with a narcissist, they will dredge up memories that are really traumatic and these thoughts will stay in my mind for days to follow. These invalidating or negative thought will be so obsessive. I’ve just really begun to notice this. It’s exhausting
I see them everywhere, including my Boss at work. It's aweful. I used to be Sooo optimistic about the silver lining in every situation, Now, not sure what to do with my pain.
Does having anxiety and anxiety attacks fall in line with CPTSD? I get them all the time now.
Yes. However, anxiety can also be caused by a lot of different things.
@@Delacari Thanks. I never got these until discarded like a piece of trash
I am currently stuck in fight or flight mode. Also my body freezes heart palpitations my brain freezes that I can’t even think straight when someone’s talking to me when ever have I have a social interaction I think I may be suffering from severe CPTSD I come from a family of narcissists and I was the scapegoat in my family system. My entire lifetime I’ve recently realized most of my relationships/friendships have been with abusers/toxic individuals. I feel so broken now at 24, I used to be the life of the party and now I can’t leave my house. I recently got out of a relationship with a sociopath/malignant narcissist where I also became the scapegoat at some point in his family system. I also am stuck living with a narcissistic mother that verbally abuses me on a daily basis I see no escape from the abuse it’s like genuinely everywhere I go I seem to attract the same people that now I have severe trust issues I don’t even want to get to know anyone. They ruin lives may we heal and may they pay one day for their shameless sins against innocent good souls I really don’t know how to heal I feel so lonely no one around meunderstands truly
Excellent video with good examples. I look forward to watching more of your work. Thank you. ❤