I was financially abandoned when I was young. my dad lost his job, his insurance and started having heart attacks. My mom hadn't had a career ever. So all the kids had to go to work without any consideration to our age or legality. I can't agree with Dave anymore on this topic. Learning the value of a good work ethic at 9 years old has helped me accomplish more than my parents could have ever dreamed of financially speaking. I poured my heart and soul into my craft and many odd jobs because I was afraid of homelessness. Now at the age of 35 I'm debt free home and all, have numerous retirement accounts fully funded. And could retire in few years. Thank you Dave for sharing your wisdom!
Heck, I applied for premature majority way back in 1967 so I could go to college on my own as an adult and I was granted this! Had to work and get scholarships to survive. At one point, I lived in a closet with some students then bought a 55 Chevy panel truck and lived in it while in school. I loved doing this!
I never went to Jr college. I won scholarships to very good schools including a scholarship to study in Germany, all before age 18. Due to brain damage when I got the Hong Kong Flu, I ceased being 'top of the class' or winning competitions and became normal which, in retrospect, was a good thing, I think.
He’s a child. The divorce is mentally affecting him and he wants out. If this were me I would take him in. I would get him a bike to ride to school or take the bus and possibly a part-tjme job if finances are an issue. I would require a certain amount from each of his paychecks but I would personally save this money for him for college or to get his own place when he is older and ready. I almost went through this situation with my nephew. Although I’m not rich I am stable enough financially to take him in. I was once that child and if a child reaches out to you as their safe space without lashing out or running away from the problem, LISTEN.
You definitely take your brother in if you can offer him a loving, stable home life. He'll have to work to contribute, but you do whatever you can to help family out when they're in need. And this isn't the kid's fault at all. Yes, do it. Even if it sets you back in Baby Step 2. You take care of your little brother.
Exactly help family especially if they would do the same for you , but her brother is 16 I wouldn't make him get a job but I would give him chores and help out in the house and get a job if he wants .
He's so expecting him to pay rent is inappropriate. He should work for his car though. But if they are taking care of him, they should get child support from the parents. It sounds like he is in a bad situation.
I lived 3 miles from my school and I was considered too close for a bus. There ain't any snow where i'm from, but there is sweltering humidity and hurricanes.
When you have children and a family of your own, your siblings are not your priority. Just facts. Doesn't mean she shouldn't help him -- she should -- but it's not wrong to ask for guidance.
It’s family. He’s 16. You already know the answer. This will be a pivotal time in his life that you and your husband will be a part of. The car is only the small lesson in all of this. Don’t have any doubt. Good job!
As long as the 16 year old little bro has a good head on his shoulders and is pointed in the right direction, I'd do it. If that slows down the baby steps a little, so be it. He's 16 years old, if he was a rocket he'd be at T-minus ten minutes, just about to launch. A stable launch pad is vital right now.
That's not funny. Millions of people are just wearing themselves out in the daily grind and literally losing 10-20 years off their potential lifespan. The average person works harder and more hours today than in the 1950's. Society needs to change somehow.
@@Neoquaker1 abuse of labor isn't funny but that's not what he's referring to at all. He's saying if you're in a situation that you can work your way out of then get to work. This kid has a shot and needs to not blow it. Also, with so many people not working at all, that does leave more of the work for those that do, but to say we have it worse is a stretch.
@@SupernovaFallout Ramsey clearly made a joke about working yourself to death, as MANY people do. Why do you think women live longer than men? Aside from a few minor biological factors, a major reason is women take the high road and don't work themselves to death. Women are smart and make men work for them, just like the top 5% make the bottom 95% work for them. That said, yes this kid should work in some capacity, but not more than 20 hours while in high school.
I agree, take him in and he gets a job to buy his own car. Make sure you get paperwork to show you are his legal guardian so that if medical or legal issues arise you can take care of them.
@@ryanjohnson5882 Hmm Ryan maybe you should study a bit more. Is 60 hours > than 40 hours? Yeah I worked around 50 hours for most of my highschool years, but they I had bought a car by 17 so the money was flowing out nearly as fast as I was making it. It was difficult most of the time to maintain that pace.
A 16 year old kid can’t work too late on school nights. A Saturday or Sunday job would be more practical. Considering Dave is all about students applying for college scholarships, he SHOULD be concerned about grades. Maybe a 20 -30 hour a week job would be better for a student who wants good grades to qualify for college scholarships.
Ya’ll need to lighten up. He didn’t mean literally 60 hours. He was just telling the caller that it’s ok for a 16 year old to work hard - and he’s right. Between school and a part time job he should plan to bust his ass all day and that’s a good thing. Don’t worry about counting the hours just get out there and hustle
Take your brother in. Seems like the parents have given up on their marriage AND parenting. His grades won't tank if he works a part-time job. I worked at 16, drove a clunker, was in Highschool & College and still graduated with high honors. It can be done. He just needs the stability of both parent figures at this age.
This lady needs to remember that, compared to her own kid(s) who still require daycare, a 16 yr old male has the kind of energy that can move mountains. He can do it (lots of kids without his options have moved out of nasty situations by working their tails off). His grades don't matter as much as knowing he has a stable home to go home to.
His grades matter exceptionally as a high schooler. Great grades equal full ride scholarships... I earned a full ride- tuition, room and board, books, etc- by making good grades and my college experience set me up for life.
The Chinese call it the Number 11 Bus: Two Legs. You walk. A mile and a half walk is nothing for a 16 year old. A down jacket is cheaper than a car. Buy him a lawnmower and a leaf blower and put him to work
I work with a adhd kid from a very dysfunctional house that works over 30hr a week and goes to school. In fact all the kids I work with work that much. It's not an issue.
exactly! we've all done it. around that age i got a whiff of perfume and gasoline, and i was off to the races. i only did one thing my parents found out about (lol), but there are a few things out there they never (i think) knew about. bound to happen at that age. that's a tough age. he's going to be exploring his sexuality, and driving, etc. he's becoming a man. they need to understand that, so i hope they do.
Working will be good for him. He’s 16 and he knows it’s over-he’s on his own now but isn’t old enough to actually be on this own. The more he feels competent and gain increasing independence the better off he’ll be. A solid work history will serve him better than really good grades.
She needs to talk to an attorney. A person, even a sister, cannot just take custody of a minor child whose parents are in the middle of a divorce. The matter of custody will need to be adjudicated in family court. This could get real messy and very expensive.
I had a few jobs at 16. It only made sense. If I wanted bus fare, clothes, and snacks, I had to have one. Take him in, gift him a bike, with the understanding he must have a job
this reminds me of my situation as a youth. the only plus side really is that the brother is only 2 years from adulthood and will be able to fend more for himself. What a great big sister she's trying!
Wow, I cannot get over the husband not wanting to help his brother-in-law, a child! So glad big sis got some outside advice. Parents do not realize how their actions affect their child/children. I wish them all the best! Great advice Dave.
Because it is a divorce starter. Her brother is not 21 he is 16 and that's the complicated adolescent phase, they will struggle and this might drive a wedge between their marriage. I'm not saying don't help the brother, just respect that he'll be a wedge between them.
If you can help your family, you should. That being said, my boyfriend's brother has always had support. He's lived with all 5 siblings at some point in his life. He is currently living with one of the siblings, pushing 30, doesn't pay rent, doesn't contribute otherwise, isn't looking for his own place. Just be sure when you're helping your family, that you're helping them and not enabling them.
@@riverdaletales8457 you are not understanding the husband though. Based on this call, she was wanting to do everything for the kid without him doing anything. Wanted to immediately but him a car so he can go 1 mile instead of looking at a bike to ride. Was scared of him working too much, etc. That's what the husband sees. You can hear it in that phone call. Now maybe the kid is great and is more than willing to work out of the situation, but his sister didn't seem like she wanted him to work.
Have the princess walk. My school system does not bus kids within 1.5 miles. They are expected to walk. Yes, even in the winter. He'll be fine. Get him a nice hat.
Why are people so concerned about teens working and learning skills and independence and making money??? For many years people worked and went to school what happened? Oh I know the government got involved... smh
I think he's more concerned about having to support this kid for the next 10 years or so, based on knowing what losers his inlaws are. If there has to be a court hearing to give sister legal custody, they should bloody well ask the judge for a child support order on the parents as well. They still have an obligation to their son.
Totally agree with Dave here. Alot of cost and responsibility to take someone in, and to the extent that her brother can work and contribute in exchange for a more stable home life and roof over his head, he should absolutley be willing to do that.
Will the deadbeat parents still claim him as a dependent on their taxes? Who will be pouring money into that $1000 car when it ¢raps out on a regular basis? A whole mile to school - why wasn't a BICYCLE even mentioned?? I had a bicycle for school from 6th grade, thru high School.
@@Neoquaker1 this is not an inch. This is him losing the privacy of his home and relationship with his wife. The kid is 16 so her husband will have to fill in the father figure in this complicated adolescente phase, isn't that too much to ask for?
@@Riconeeeeeeect seriously, nobody's even thinking about how this will affect the husband at all. If they take him in he'll be there for at least 2 years which I see as very inconvenient for the marriage, it's not just about the money.
Yeah your brother 16 he needs to be working I’m sorry it might be a little early but it is what it is. If his grades start to drop have him work less hours.
Fuzzy Pink Bunny You’re probably just saying that because I said I’m sorry but I’m sure others would totally agree with me especially if he wants to move in with them.
@@Ka_Gg I don't about anybody else, but I found High School to be a total joke. As long as you paid attention you could make good grades and by 11th grade I already had all my college required courses done and was accepted at the in state college I chose to go to. I was bored out of my mind my senior year. School now from what I've seen is dumbed down even more from where it was 20+ years ago so I can't imagine it's much more difficult, plus as long as you can do the bare minimum and get a 3.0 you can usually get an in-state scholarship pretty easily.
@@TeKnoVKNG23 preach about high school being a joke. I think I slept in half my classes. As long as you just do the homework that is assigned, you're guaranteed and easy c in your classes. I wish I would have just got a GED when I was younger and started college early... Aside from potentially missing memories with friends
Take him in yes but be mindful of it affecting your marriage, sister already making excuses for him. He cant live in such a situation at home and come out unscathed, there most likely will be compliance motivation or behaviours to address as it sounds like hes been left to his own devices. He will need firm boundaries not pity, so glad he had family who cares. Firm boundaries will give him yhe security he needd
You need to be careful not to overwork him too. Teachers can report to cps if they have concerns he’s working too much and his grades are dropping. He’s 16. A part time job should be fine. He can pay for his own gas and do chores. He doesn’t need to work more hours than normal adults.
1.5 miles is NOT "A HARD WALK ". Walked 2. 5 miles everyday in middle school pass crackheads and bums. He will just have strong legs and appreciate a car more when he helps to pay for one
I wish my parents had made me work while I was in school, wish they had made me work for the car instead of giving it to me, wish they would’ve made me work for my first year of college, one of the worst mistakes we ever made in my life was that my parents didn’t make me work for things and I never understood the value of a dollar. This kid is finally getting into a good family if the husband would be OK with it… tearjerker of a story…
God bless her, from the bottom of my broken heart ❣️🙏. i initially was like "nope." but hearing the story, i'm down. if she can do it she should. that will change both their lives, and he'll never forget it. she just might need him someday too.
Riding a bicycle in Nebraska in the snow & ice, in winter, isn’t doable...I lived there. He could likely bike to school every month except Nov, Dec, Jan, and Feb tho.
If little brother wants to work part time at 16 so he has some spending money and isn't going to be a huge drain on the household economy I think it's ok. Obviously she wants to protect her brother, but I'm guessing the husband sees the bigger picture and realizes the divorcing parents could cause more drama at their home now if little brother is there. Divorcing parents can get really bad/dramatic and there's probably worry there that they will drag little brother into it or be showing up there, so I totally get his perspective. Tough situation overall and they have to realize he's going to be a dependent until he's 18 and beyond, so there needs to be a plan in place. Are you going to pay for little brother's college? etc. More enjoyable video today without any sidekicks or John giving his impressions on it, need to go back to just you Dave.
It's your brother, help him and get him on the right path to being a young adult. Let him get a job and support him emotionally. Work helps establish self worth and makes you confident especially at that age. It will help alleviate some of the pain of the parents too.
David Ramsey always keep it real. I, personally, would not have hesitated bringing him in as long as he adheres under the terms and conditions of our household.
If this lady was my wife, she would need to realize that he would be privileged to live with us. If she wanted to be too cushy and/or if he was a punk, that would not be good.
My thoughts would be, help the kid...he’s your underage brother. Your husband should have thought the same way regardless of your current financial situation. I get it, your trying to stay on track financially but life throws curveballs at you and I believe helping a defenseless child in this situation could be an exception and shouldn’t have taken much thought. Don’t let the kid suffer because Mom and Dad didn’t fulfill their duty as parents, give him a second chance at a better life, teach him some stuff, responsibilities and be a big sister!
You're completely missing what the husband is worried about. The sister wanted to immediately buy her brother a car because she was scared of him walking out in cold weather. She never mentioned anything about getting him a bike or walking to school. Then she said she was scared of him working and making money due to grades. the husband probably sees it as they will be doing absolutely everything for him.
Ka Gg no, I didn’t miss this point. I totally understood both sides husband and wife, I’m just simply saying get him in, lay the rules and foundation for him and let him choose. As Dave said, if he’s desperate enough he will follow the rules. He’s her brother, not a project. Iron out the details after you get this kid out of a unhealthy environment is all I’m saying
If I'm the husband I'm taking in my wife's 16 yr old little brother without question. Even if he sucks, I'll teach him to be responsible and have him get a job and do whatever I can to help him out of that god awful situation.
He can’t just go live wherever he wants. This is up to the courts to decide. Also, she has a responsibility to keep harmony in her home for her own kid and husband’s sake. Working a part time job isn’t going to solve his problems and prevent bad behavior. Divorce is devastating for kids and he is going to act out.
I think Dave should have mentioned how to have a conversation with the boy's parents. In most states you can't just take a 16 year old child from his parents without parental consent or family court. Unless
Why do parents always say that if you have a job in HS your grades will suffer. It's not true. If their grades fall it's their fault. A job does not cause bad grades. This is the perfect opportunity to teach how not to be like his parents and for that matter you, and not go in debt. That will do so much for him. But it feels like the husband is against the kid. But 60 hours for a hs student at least where I live is illegal for HS students. Max is part time up to full time with school permission. But this is commiefornia Nebraska would be better if he could. 5 hours each day after school, and 8 on Saturday.
I started working as soon as I turned 16. I still maintained good grades. I paid attention in class like always. I had good time management so I could complete my work in the evenings I wasn't working or do it during study hall if I did have to work.
Why do parents always say that if you have a job in HS your grades will suffer? Went home at 3 did 2 hours study, dinner, then 2 more hours, sleep 6 days a week. My parent were poor. They told me "If you get a 1500 on the SAT, someone will pay for your college" A former alumnus asked if he could pay for my education, I said YES. I have a Process Engineering degree from a #1 School.
Agree. My grades actually improved when I started working full time while in high school. It’s a mind thing. Makes you want to improve yourself, I guess.
@@julieraymond4963 he said a mix of work and school for 40 hours. That isn't hard to do at all. He has a chance. I don't understand why having a kid work is setting him up for failure?
The fact that a husband would even bring up “the financial burden” in this situation when we’re talking about a 16 year old is sad.. Your food bill will go up a little, and your water bill might be $10 extra a month.. come on.. we’re not taking about bringing on a set of 3 year old twins.. smh
Your average sixteen year old, who has poor and divorced parents, probably hasn't learned any kind of work ethic. If he moves into his brother in law's house under Dave's kind of rules, he's in for a shock! GOOD LUCK!
5:25 60 work hours a week while in high school?! Dave you're being too soft on him. Make it 90 hours of work, 30 hours of community volunteer work, on top of his 40 hours in school and 30+ hours for homework/projects/extracurriculars/sports. That'll turn him into a real man and leave him with a solid 2 hours of sleep per day!
As long as the kid isn't a bad apple, you take him in. I don't know about the rent thing for a 16 year old though. Seriously encouraging him to work and having him help with food is fine, but this is still a child. I can see where the husband would be reluctant, but you make sacrifices for family. Don't destroy your dreams over it, but the older you get, the more you realize family is more important than money. I was in a similar situation to this kid, and I will tell you a caring person that took me in, and joining the military, changed my life for the better.
Gotta love America. I just watched a documentary called “Most Dangerous Ways to School” where kids in different countries have to travel for hours through jungles, swim across rivers, cross deserts to get to school. I don’t see why this kid “needs” a car to go 1.5 miles and why he can’t work a few hours a week. If it’s that bad, he can get a bicycle for less than $100. I suspect this idea of I “need” everything under the sun contributed to her parents’ financial difficulties. I commend her for looking out for her brother though.
Clouded Colour I didn’t hear the part about 60 hours but I’m sure he probably misspoke. Adults don’t even do that so he probably meant 16. I worked in high school and college and somehow I managed.
How is this even a question? I understand the technicalities and the financial concern - any sane person would consider that, but hes FAMILY and he is a teenager not an adult. Goodness
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I was financially abandoned when I was young. my dad lost his job, his insurance and started having heart attacks. My mom hadn't had a career ever. So all the kids had to go to work without any consideration to our age or legality. I can't agree with Dave anymore on this topic. Learning the value of a good work ethic at 9 years old has helped me accomplish more than my parents could have ever dreamed of financially speaking. I poured my heart and soul into my craft and many odd jobs because I was afraid of homelessness. Now at the age of 35 I'm debt free home and all, have numerous retirement accounts fully funded. And could retire in few years. Thank you Dave for sharing your wisdom!
Heck, I applied for premature majority way back in 1967 so I could go to college on my own as an adult and I was granted this! Had to work and get scholarships to survive. At one point, I lived in a closet with some students then bought a 55 Chevy panel truck and lived in it while in school. I loved doing this!
This is reality. Either you work for your future or you stay where you are forever.
@@emsnewssupkis6453 California in the 1960's, junior college was free! Was this your case?
I never went to Jr college. I won scholarships to very good schools including a scholarship to study in Germany, all before age 18. Due to brain damage when I got the Hong Kong Flu, I ceased being 'top of the class' or winning competitions and became normal which, in retrospect, was a good thing, I think.
Wonderful
He’s a child. The divorce is mentally affecting him and he wants out. If this were me I would take him in. I would get him a bike to ride to school or take the bus and possibly a part-tjme job if finances are an issue. I would require a certain amount from each of his paychecks but I would personally save this money for him for college or to get his own place when he is older and ready. I almost went through this situation with my nephew. Although I’m not rich I am stable enough financially to take him in. I was once that child and if a child reaches out to you as their safe space without lashing out or running away from the problem, LISTEN.
Did they say they are going going through a divorce
Good point about the bike.
This is one of the reasons I love Dave... He’s all about being financially strong, but recognizes money isn’t the only factor for making decisions.
You definitely take your brother in if you can offer him a loving, stable home life. He'll have to work to contribute, but you do whatever you can to help family out when they're in need. And this isn't the kid's fault at all. Yes, do it. Even if it sets you back in Baby Step 2. You take care of your little brother.
Exactly, set ground rules, and not everything is about baby steps.. but if he exploits it, then one should not feel guilty throwing him out..
Exactly help family especially if they would do the same for you , but her brother is 16 I wouldn't make him get a job but I would give him chores and help out in the house and get a job if he wants .
If he gets a job, he should be able to pay $300 per month in rent. That's a win/win.
@@deanalbertson7203 yeah
He's so expecting him to pay rent is inappropriate. He should work for his car though. But if they are taking care of him, they should get child support from the parents.
It sounds like he is in a bad situation.
A mile walk? He’ll be fine. I used to have to walk home from school in the winter when my parents were at work.
I lived 3 miles from my school and I was considered too close for a bus. There ain't any snow where i'm from, but there is sweltering humidity and hurricanes.
Uphill both ways right?
Also, the bicycle has been invented.
Fnordium Endures that works too! He doesn’t need a car unless he’s going to be working. I didn’t get my first car until I graduated high school.
While dragging your balls across broken glass and fighting off a pack of wolves everyday?
Why is this even a question? He is your LITTLE BROTHER. What the heck
The way she is acting tells a LOT about the quality of the parents.
Her husband said no.
When you have children and a family of your own, your siblings are not your priority. Just facts. Doesn't mean she shouldn't help him -- she should -- but it's not wrong to ask for guidance.
@@Maloha486 I would agree if the sibling was an adult. Hes a child in a horrible situation
@@TimeisUp22 it’s family dude ain’t even 18
Says something about the husband also
It’s family. He’s 16. You already know the answer. This will be a pivotal time in his life that you and your husband will be a part of. The car is only the small lesson in all of this. Don’t have any doubt. Good job!
A mile and half to school is not far 😂 walking that will encourage him to save for a cheap car!
Get a bicycle, a decent used one costs about $25.
As long as the 16 year old little bro has a good head on his shoulders and is pointed in the right direction, I'd do it. If that slows down the baby steps a little, so be it. He's 16 years old, if he was a rocket he'd be at T-minus ten minutes, just about to launch. A stable launch pad is vital right now.
Nice analogy!
I honestly like just having Dave provide answers. Straight to the point and not a lot of rambling.
And no "Political Correctness" nonsense.
He’s family and underaged. Non-negotiable.
My sister took me in at age 16. I can't imagine how horrible my life would have been had my sister not taken me in.
I lost it when Dave said when you're bout to die from work, you pass out first 😂
Amen to that!
That's not funny. Millions of people are just wearing themselves out in the daily grind and literally losing 10-20 years off their potential lifespan. The average person works harder and more hours today than in the 1950's. Society needs to change somehow.
@@Neoquaker1 abuse of labor isn't funny but that's not what he's referring to at all. He's saying if you're in a situation that you can work your way out of then get to work. This kid has a shot and needs to not blow it. Also, with so many people not working at all, that does leave more of the work for those that do, but to say we have it worse is a stretch.
@@SupernovaFallout Ramsey clearly made a joke about working yourself to death, as MANY people do. Why do you think women live longer than men? Aside from a few minor biological factors, a major reason is women take the high road and don't work themselves to death. Women are smart and make men work for them, just like the top 5% make the bottom 95% work for them. That said, yes this kid should work in some capacity, but not more than 20 hours while in high school.
I agree, take him in and he gets a job to buy his own car. Make sure you get paperwork to show you are his legal guardian so that if medical or legal issues arise you can take care of them.
This uncle has the opportunity to be a mentor this kid will look up to for the rest of his life...
shane scrimshire brother-in-law
A high school kid working 60 hours a week? Sometimes Dave's expectations are simply unrealistic.
It's not unrealistic at all. I was working at Wendy's 40 hours a week while in high school
@@ryanjohnson5882 Hmm Ryan maybe you should study a bit more. Is 60 hours > than 40 hours? Yeah I worked around 50 hours for most of my highschool years, but they I had bought a car by 17 so the money was flowing out nearly as fast as I was making it. It was difficult most of the time to maintain that pace.
A 16 year old kid can’t work too late on school nights. A Saturday or Sunday job would be more practical. Considering Dave is all about students applying for college scholarships, he SHOULD be concerned about grades. Maybe a 20 -30 hour a week job would be better for a student who wants good grades to qualify for college scholarships.
Literally not possible with child labor laws
Ya’ll need to lighten up. He didn’t mean literally 60 hours. He was just telling the caller that it’s ok for a 16 year old to work hard - and he’s right. Between school and a part time job he should plan to bust his ass all day and that’s a good thing. Don’t worry about counting the hours just get out there and hustle
Take your brother in. Seems like the parents have given up on their marriage AND parenting. His grades won't tank if he works a part-time job. I worked at 16, drove a clunker, was in Highschool & College and still graduated with high honors. It can be done. He just needs the stability of both parent figures at this age.
dave said 60 hours, thats not part time, thats full plus school?
This lady needs to remember that, compared to her own kid(s) who still require daycare, a 16 yr old male has the kind of energy that can move mountains. He can do it (lots of kids without his options have moved out of nasty situations by working their tails off). His grades don't matter as much as knowing he has a stable home to go home to.
His grades matter exceptionally as a high schooler. Great grades equal full ride scholarships... I earned a full ride- tuition, room and board, books, etc- by making good grades and my college experience set me up for life.
The Chinese call it the Number 11 Bus: Two Legs. You walk. A mile and a half walk is nothing for a 16 year old. A down jacket is cheaper than a car. Buy him a lawnmower and a leaf blower and put him to work
Hahahaha 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 omg dude the number 11 Bus I screamed at that part hahahaha
I work with a adhd kid from a very dysfunctional house that works over 30hr a week and goes to school. In fact all the kids I work with work that much. It's not an issue.
I hope he shows his brother some grace. Kids will make mistakes.
exactly! we've all done it. around that age i got a whiff of perfume and gasoline, and i was off to the races. i only did one thing my parents found out about (lol), but there are a few things out there they never (i think) knew about. bound to happen at that age. that's a tough age. he's going to be exploring his sexuality, and driving, etc. he's becoming a man. they need to understand that, so i hope they do.
Did he say 60 hours a week!? How is a 16 year old high school student supposed to work 60 hours a week!?
Working will be good for him. He’s 16 and he knows it’s over-he’s on his own now but isn’t old enough to actually be on this own. The more he feels competent and gain increasing independence the better off he’ll be. A solid work history will serve him better than really good grades.
Absolutely!
Dave is so right. Man so many boys need that kind of love. The kind Dave is proposing.
She needs to talk to an attorney. A person, even a sister, cannot just take custody of a minor child whose parents are in the middle of a divorce. The matter of custody will need to be adjudicated in family court. This could get real messy and very expensive.
actually if he gets emancipated she can
I had a few jobs at 16. It only made sense. If I wanted bus fare, clothes, and snacks, I had to have one. Take him in, gift him a bike, with the understanding he must have a job
This young boy is a blessing. He will be so appreciative that he won’t have to walk 30 minutes to school.
Converting from sibling to guardian might be tricky, but she has to take him in.
Get a bike or scooter to go a mile and a half
That's all good but she's worried about the winter weather
@@TaShar16 Then he can walk or get a ride.
Correct, you can do a mile and a half in 5 mins on a bike. Weather not a big problem.
@@TaShar16 yeah and she needs to realize there are these kinds called coats and coveralls. Lol. She was babying him.
@@Ka_Gg no actually shes not you dont know terrain, neighbourhood any of it and that comes into play more
this reminds me of my situation as a youth. the only plus side really is that the brother is only 2 years from adulthood and will be able to fend more for himself. What a great big sister she's trying!
‘That’s a nice little hike’ 😂😂
Wow, I cannot get over the husband not wanting to help his brother-in-law, a child! So glad big sis got some outside advice.
Parents do not realize how their actions affect their child/children.
I wish them all the best! Great advice Dave.
Because it is a divorce starter. Her brother is not 21 he is 16 and that's the complicated adolescent phase, they will struggle and this might drive a wedge between their marriage. I'm not saying don't help the brother, just respect that he'll be a wedge between them.
If you can help your family, you should. That being said, my boyfriend's brother has always had support. He's lived with all 5 siblings at some point in his life. He is currently living with one of the siblings, pushing 30, doesn't pay rent, doesn't contribute otherwise, isn't looking for his own place. Just be sure when you're helping your family, that you're helping them and not enabling them.
Husband didn't know he signed up for this 😂😭🤣
You /he should, he needs to love and respect and help his family vise versa , that's what happens when you marry you combine families.
@@riverdaletales8457 would the wife let the husbands sister live with them🤔
@@riverdaletales8457 you are not understanding the husband though. Based on this call, she was wanting to do everything for the kid without him doing anything. Wanted to immediately but him a car so he can go 1 mile instead of looking at a bike to ride. Was scared of him working too much, etc. That's what the husband sees.
You can hear it in that phone call. Now maybe the kid is great and is more than willing to work out of the situation, but his sister didn't seem like she wanted him to work.
@@Ka_Gg the husband said No for a reason 😳
@@ripwins I know I would but each person has their own way of doing things rather it's good or bad
“When you’re workin’ really really hard, right before you die, you pass out. So ya’ don’t really gotta’ worry ‘bout work killin’ ya”
~ Dave Ramsey
Have the princess walk. My school system does not bus kids within 1.5 miles. They are expected to walk. Yes, even in the winter. He'll be fine. Get him a nice hat.
I walked 4 miles to school. Wear a radio and you won't even think about it.
@Sarrah Conley,
Come again?
@@glowblank17 I didn't know until I had I internet that it was 4 miles. 🤣😂
was thinking I biked farther than that in middle school to get to school. And he can't walk less than 2 miles. It will teach him a few things.
1.5 miles in Nebraska to and from. That sucks. Can you imagine the winters
Apparently, you walked right past grammar class. 😂
He can work. I worked starting on my 16th birthday. Some of our kids work at 16. Give it a try. I agree with Dave.
Why are people so concerned about teens working and learning skills and independence and making money??? For many years people worked and went to school what happened? Oh I know the government got involved... smh
We did that for my sister in law she was 14. Good decision
No wonder the husband has reservations....the wife wants to baby and do everything for her little brother.
I think he's more concerned about having to support this kid for the next 10 years or so, based on knowing what losers his inlaws are. If there has to be a court hearing to give sister legal custody, they should bloody well ask the judge for a child support order on the parents as well. They still have an obligation to their son.
Your videos are a part of my daily routine. Thank you Dave!
Totally agree with Dave here. Alot of cost and responsibility to take someone in, and to the extent that her brother can work and contribute in exchange for a more stable home life and roof over his head, he should absolutley be willing to do that.
Will the deadbeat parents still claim him as a dependent on their taxes? Who will be pouring money into that $1000 car when it ¢raps out on a regular basis? A whole mile to school - why wasn't a BICYCLE even mentioned?? I had a bicycle for school from 6th grade, thru high School.
I was thinking the exact same thing. Bicycle would be the way to go. $1,000 car has to be the worst advice I’ve ever heard from him.
@@circle11111 not if hes also working
@Clouded Colour unless you’re extremely lucky buying an $1000 car is an endless money pit.
You have to go to COURT to get custody and thus, any money. Yes, it can be done, I did it in the past.
circle A wow you really don't know much about vehicles do you.
Dave is assuming that the husband will cave after she sets those conditions. I'm not so sure he will.
If he has a heart he will compromise. If he can't give an inch for his wife's minor brother, then how will he treat her and their future children?
@@Neoquaker1 this is not an inch. This is him losing the privacy of his home and relationship with his wife. The kid is 16 so her husband will have to fill in the father figure in this complicated adolescente phase, isn't that too much to ask for?
@@Riconeeeeeeect seriously, nobody's even thinking about how this will affect the husband at all. If they take him in he'll be there for at least 2 years which I see as very inconvenient for the marriage, it's not just about the money.
Yeah your brother 16 he needs to be working I’m sorry it might be a little early but it is what it is. If his grades start to drop have him work less hours.
Fuzzy Pink Bunny You’re probably just saying that because I said I’m sorry but I’m sure others would totally agree with me especially if he wants to move in with them.
Boo hoo, Ive been working since I was in 6th grade throwing news papers on a bicycle. Grocery bagging and other jobs all thru high school.
Dave: “tell him get off his butt and walk!” 😂
I went through a similar scenario myself. I learned a ton from working construction at 15. Dave is right completely.
Worked on a farm from 14-16, then landscaping/masonary until I was out of college. Teaches you a lot of lessons for later on in life.
....bububut what about your grades? Lol
@@Ka_Gg I don't about anybody else, but I found High School to be a total joke. As long as you paid attention you could make good grades and by 11th grade I already had all my college required courses done and was accepted at the in state college I chose to go to. I was bored out of my mind my senior year. School now from what I've seen is dumbed down even more from where it was 20+ years ago so I can't imagine it's much more difficult, plus as long as you can do the bare minimum and get a 3.0 you can usually get an in-state scholarship pretty easily.
@@TeKnoVKNG23 preach about high school being a joke. I think I slept in half my classes. As long as you just do the homework that is assigned, you're guaranteed and easy c in your classes. I wish I would have just got a GED when I was younger and started college early... Aside from potentially missing memories with friends
Take him in yes but be mindful of it affecting your marriage, sister already making excuses for him. He cant live in such a situation at home and come out unscathed, there most likely will be compliance motivation or behaviours to address as it sounds like hes been left to his own devices. He will need firm boundaries not pity, so glad he had family who cares. Firm boundaries will give him yhe security he needd
How can he work 60 hours/week while doing high school???
You need to be careful not to overwork him too. Teachers can report to cps if they have concerns he’s working too much and his grades are dropping. He’s 16. A part time job should be fine. He can pay for his own gas and do chores. He doesn’t need to work more hours than normal adults.
@@NT-bz5nh plus does the US not have minumam work hours for teens?
Yea Ramsey is crazy sometimes. 60 hours is too much for anybody, especially for a high schooler.
Neoquaker1 If the kid did work that many hours he would not even need their help lol It sounds like the salary of a whole family
Remember it's summer.
Make him walk .. a car for just for school SMH
1.5 miles is NOT "A HARD WALK ". Walked 2. 5 miles everyday in middle school pass crackheads and bums. He will just have strong legs and appreciate a car more when he helps to pay for one
1.5 miles is not thst far. It also help him still fit and he get some excise.
Walking 1.5 miles is 30 minutes. He'd do that twice a day, taking up an hour. Not ideal
He thought the caller was a male at first lol
Family is thicker than any contractual binding relationship bring your brother in teach to prosper.
Help your brother!!! You can give him a head start on college and life.....if he’s lazy then help him change.
I wish my parents had made me work while I was in school, wish they had made me work for the car instead of giving it to me, wish they would’ve made me work for my first year of college, one of the worst mistakes we ever made in my life was that my parents didn’t make me work for things and I never understood the value of a dollar. This kid is finally getting into a good family if the husband would be OK with it… tearjerker of a story…
God bless her, from the bottom of my broken heart ❣️🙏. i initially was like "nope." but hearing the story, i'm down. if she can do it she should. that will change both their lives, and he'll never forget it. she just might need him someday too.
Take him in. He can get a part time job and get a bicycle. He needs emotional support.
Riding a bicycle in Nebraska in the snow & ice, in winter, isn’t doable...I lived there. He could likely bike to school every month except Nov, Dec, Jan, and Feb tho.
mle011 good point I never thought of that.
If little brother wants to work part time at 16 so he has some spending money and isn't going to be a huge drain on the household economy I think it's ok. Obviously she wants to protect her brother, but I'm guessing the husband sees the bigger picture and realizes the divorcing parents could cause more drama at their home now if little brother is there. Divorcing parents can get really bad/dramatic and there's probably worry there that they will drag little brother into it or be showing up there, so I totally get his perspective. Tough situation overall and they have to realize he's going to be a dependent until he's 18 and beyond, so there needs to be a plan in place. Are you going to pay for little brother's college? etc.
More enjoyable video today without any sidekicks or John giving his impressions on it, need to go back to just you Dave.
As soon as Dave asked about the walk ..... lol
Just get a bike for the mile and half to the school
Mountain bike for the winter
I think she meant 1.5 miles to the bus stop.
@@carloswithac I bicycled to school and back in 1961 when 11 years old and it was well over three miles away.
I come home and walk a mile everyday,, just to walk...
It's your brother, help him and get him on the right path to being a young adult. Let him get a job and support him emotionally. Work helps establish self worth and makes you confident especially at that age. It will help alleviate some of the pain of the parents too.
It’s ur brother it’s family leave ur husband !!!
David Ramsey always keep it real. I, personally, would not have hesitated bringing him in as long as he adheres under the terms and conditions of our household.
If this lady was my wife, she would need to realize that he would be privileged to live with us. If she wanted to be too cushy and/or if he was a punk, that would not be good.
My thoughts would be, help the kid...he’s your underage brother. Your husband should have thought the same way regardless of your current financial situation. I get it, your trying to stay on track financially but life throws curveballs at you and I believe helping a defenseless child in this situation could be an exception and shouldn’t have taken much thought. Don’t let the kid suffer because Mom and Dad didn’t fulfill their duty as parents, give him a second chance at a better life, teach him some stuff, responsibilities and be a big sister!
You're completely missing what the husband is worried about. The sister wanted to immediately buy her brother a car because she was scared of him walking out in cold weather. She never mentioned anything about getting him a bike or walking to school. Then she said she was scared of him working and making money due to grades.
the husband probably sees it as they will be doing absolutely everything for him.
Ka Gg no, I didn’t miss this point. I totally understood both sides husband and wife, I’m just simply saying get him in, lay the rules and foundation for him and let him choose. As Dave said, if he’s desperate enough he will follow the rules. He’s her brother, not a project. Iron out the details after you get this kid out of a unhealthy environment is all I’m saying
@@theGrayArea2 Yes iron out the details for sure. But I bet when the wife brought it up, she didn't mention anything about her brother contributing.
MY BROTHER WOULD END UP DESTROYING MY HOUSE. HAHA. 🔥🔥🔥
If I'm the husband I'm taking in my wife's 16 yr old little brother without question. Even if he sucks, I'll teach him to be responsible and have him get a job and do whatever I can to help him out of that god awful situation.
He can’t just go live wherever he wants. This is up to the courts to decide. Also, she has a responsibility to keep harmony in her home for her own kid and husband’s sake. Working a part time job isn’t going to solve his problems and prevent bad behavior. Divorce is devastating for kids and he is going to act out.
Family is everything, of course to a point. No doubt help this kid.
I think Dave should have mentioned how to have a conversation with the boy's parents. In most states you can't just take a 16 year old child from his parents without parental consent or family court. Unless
This shouldn't even be a question!!! That's little bro..
Why do parents always say that if you have a job in HS your grades will suffer. It's not true. If their grades fall it's their fault. A job does not cause bad grades. This is the perfect opportunity to teach how not to be like his parents and for that matter you, and not go in debt. That will do so much for him. But it feels like the husband is against the kid. But 60 hours for a hs student at least where I live is illegal for HS students. Max is part time up to full time with school permission. But this is commiefornia Nebraska would be better if he could. 5 hours each day after school, and 8 on Saturday.
I started working as soon as I turned 16. I still maintained good grades. I paid attention in class like always. I had good time management so I could complete my work in the evenings I wasn't working or do it during study hall if I did have to work.
Why do parents always say that if you have a job in HS your grades will suffer?
Went home at 3 did 2 hours study, dinner, then 2 more hours, sleep
6 days a week.
My parent were poor. They told me "If you get a 1500 on the SAT,
someone will pay for your college"
A former alumnus asked if he could pay for my education, I said YES.
I have a Process Engineering degree from a #1 School.
Well some people actually take high school seriously unlike you clowns
@@Digger-Nick I did. I got great grades.
Agree. My grades actually improved when I started working full time while in high school. It’s a mind thing. Makes you want to improve yourself, I guess.
Man when I was 16 I wanted to work haha
He can move in but he need to work 15 hours/week at least!
I think the wife said they had a kid. Maybe her brother could help with watching that child when they are working too.
Runs with Dogs he’s 16... give him a chance to finish school
@@julieraymond4963 he said a mix of work and school for 40 hours. That isn't hard to do at all.
He has a chance. I don't understand why having a kid work is setting him up for failure?
Ka Gg it’s fine if the kid is able to sustain school first.
How is this even a question? You take your brother in. You don't abandon him.
Get him on his feet, grad from HS, join the military to get his college paid and of couse get him on Dave's program
The fact that a husband would even bring up “the financial burden” in this situation when we’re talking about a 16 year old is sad.. Your food bill will go up a little, and your water bill might be $10 extra a month.. come on.. we’re not taking about bringing on a set of 3 year old twins.. smh
The question dave should have asked is what is your brother and husband relationship like. If they don't get along it is an auto NO
Your average sixteen year old, who has poor and divorced parents, probably hasn't learned any kind of work ethic. If he moves into his brother in law's house under Dave's kind of rules, he's in for a shock!
GOOD LUCK!
My grandfather was married and had two kids by the time he was 16. Different times I suppose, he was born in 1901 and passed in 1997.
16 needs a car? no bus...............home school, he is old enough to schedule his time, he doesnt need to be mommied
Everything is about money!
No emotions!
Both children suffer for the parent's divorce. They have consequences for parent's failure. Glad Sis is willing to help do the parent's job.
5:25 60 work hours a week while in high school?! Dave you're being too soft on him.
Make it 90 hours of work, 30 hours of community volunteer work, on top of his 40 hours in school and 30+ hours for homework/projects/extracurriculars/sports. That'll turn him into a real man and leave him with a solid 2 hours of sleep per day!
I like Dave's "No Political Correctness" response.
I hate political correctness. thats why I like Dave.
As long as the kid isn't a bad apple, you take him in. I don't know about the rent thing for a 16 year old though. Seriously encouraging him to work and having him help with food is fine, but this is still a child. I can see where the husband would be reluctant, but you make sacrifices for family. Don't destroy your dreams over it, but the older you get, the more you realize family is more important than money. I was in a similar situation to this kid, and I will tell you a caring person that took me in, and joining the military, changed my life for the better.
You don't turn your back on family. Plus, it's not like they are dirt poor.
Gotta love America. I just watched a documentary called “Most Dangerous Ways to School” where kids in different countries have to travel for hours through jungles, swim across rivers, cross deserts to get to school. I don’t see why this kid “needs” a car to go 1.5 miles and why he can’t work a few hours a week. If it’s that bad, he can get a bicycle for less than $100. I suspect this idea of I “need” everything under the sun contributed to her parents’ financial difficulties. I commend her for looking out for her brother though.
daves advocating 60 hours a week PLUS school, sorry but thats not doable
Clouded Colour I didn’t hear the part about 60 hours but I’m sure he probably misspoke. Adults don’t even do that so he probably meant 16. I worked in high school and college and somehow I managed.
1.5 miles, why can't he bicycle to school? Why does it have to be a car?
That distance is pretty short for a bike and should only take him like ~10 to get to school using one.
Parents are absolute failures! To put all the stress and responsibility on the sister. The sister is more of an adult than the loser parents.
How is this even a question? I understand the technicalities and the financial concern - any sane person would consider that, but hes FAMILY and he is a teenager not an adult. Goodness
I let my brother move in with my mother, in a house I purchased to take care of her. He only needed 2 weeks, that was 17 years ago.
Ramsey is the man. Hard and tough, but fair.
Everyone in the comments, hows your day going?
Not fast enough. How’s yours? Happy Friday!
No stimulus cheque which is sorely needed right now
Not all that great. R.ship problems! What about you?
Better than we deserve
Good!!
My brother would eat all my food, no way! XD i hope he sees this one day
That’s why Dave says if your living under my house you’re following my rules.
Kids eat. Denying someone a stable home over food is insane.
🤣🤣🤣
Probably not?