My Daughter Only Wants To Go To The Expensive College
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ค. 2022
- 💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolutions.com/compa...
I went to a no-name university with 5k per year tuition, graduated with zero debt, went to med school, and now starting residency in Anesthesiology. No regrets!!!
Ahhhhhhh. Isn't medical school like $200k+?
Ya but anesthesiologists make 400-800k so I think he is fine
Same story! It’s possible!
@@ProfessorFinanceOfficial this guy is saying 0 debt for undergrad.
Same exact story! I knew I wanted to go to medical school and that would be a whole “beast” on its own financially, so I chose to go a state school where my undergrad was fully paid for with scholarships. This was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Residency programs really don’t care where you went to undergrad!!
Currently an incoming Anesthesiology intern at one of the top programs in the country. Super thankful..
Parents need to grow a pair and act like parents, not their kid’s best friend.
Best friends dont pay other friends expensive colleges either.
🎯
Right
Exactly! Smh
Medical school shouldn't even be discussed until you see how she does in the first two years of college...at the cheaper school!
One of my first thoughts.
Bingo!
A lot of kids don't even have what it takes to get to medical school and if they did, some might just changed their mind and want to major in something else.
They call it "Pre" med for a reason...............
This is a great point. Those who excel can transfer, too.
At community college. Have the kid finish her general education classes. Then see how committed she is.
Many students who think they want to be pre-med often end up changing their minds after getting a taste of College level chem courses...
Excellent point as I have seen that be the case before as well.
I barely passed kitchen Chem, which ended any medical aspirations before they started
I just said the same. thing.
No lie in this statement
Yup, not just that, Med school takes a lot of time, effort, and extracurriculars. Burn out is also a reason. It is a lot of debt also. Many smart people end up not going as they may also have other responsibilities.
When did 18 year-olds start calling the shots in a household? This never would have worked when I was 18.
Because it’s a once in a lifetime experience. And I have no sympathy for parents who tell their kids their entire childhood “when you’re 18 you can do whatever you want, but right now, you’re still a child and have to listen to me” and then when the kid turns 18 refuse to honor their agreement. The parents made an agreement and a promise and now they have to honor it.
@@johnmartin4641 Oh nonsense, he's the one paying for her college!
@@jeffwvu4602 regardless, if you make an agreement, honor it.
@@johnmartin4641 Did I miss the part where he told her he would pay her way through any college, no matter how expensive? And Socialists want taxpayers to foot the bill for these foolish decisions because it was a "once in a lifetime opportunity." Give me a break. If Princess wants the more expensive college because it's a way from home, then she CAN do whatever she wants. But he has no obligation to pay for it. It seems that you stopped adulting.
@@johnmartin4641
The parents didn't agree for her to attend a more expensive school so the parents doesn't need to honor the agreement since daughter already broke the deal.
She is going to be a caller in a few years as one of the broke doctors with 300k in student loans
You mean in 5-10 years 🤣?
300K? That number will be closer to a million. Im a million dollars in debt but im a doctor making $250k a year
And one that says her parents are on the hook for the bill not her 😂
😂
@@lemongrass3945 Honest question; do you regret it? I can’t imagine you feel like you’re getting a good ROI making 250 with a million in debt. And no offense but $1,000,000 seems high even for a doctor. Probably could have done it more cost effectively.
Tell her if she wants that college education she can apply for scholarships and then pay herself for the rest. Go to the college Mom and dad can afford or do things yourself.
But he didn't say what the reason was why she wanted to choose school B. Not buying "just because she wants to stay away from home". He wouldn't even say the school names. Definitely not a complete call.
@@front331 yes, maybe the program she wants is not offered by the school that he is desiring that she go to. You must gather all the details before drawing a conclusion.
@@BBC600 some conclusions you can draw without knowing more. One of those conclusions is if you’re unable to afford something, you’re unable to afford it.
@@front331 I'm buying it. It also is likely either where her friends are going, or just a prestigious school she wants to be able to say she went to for the name. Kids that age are often not very good at making the best long-term decisions.
BINGO!!
Had a similar situation with my youngest daughter. Same university - on a campus 10 minutes from us - but she wanted to go to their campus 5+ hours away. Same degree both places. I told her if she wants to move for the same degree, Then she needed to make it happen herself. She did - and financed the difference by applying for (literally) hundreds of grants and scholarships to help. I'm proud of her for putting in the work to make it happen.
Typically kids want to eventually move out of their parents house
@@emmarose6590 that's our hope - as a parent speaking. 🤣😁
As long as you’re ok with the fact she’s getting ridden more than Seattle Sleu
@@charlesg7926 not sure what you mean by that. Her BF moved with her and they shared an apartment (and have since gotten married after they both graduated). What are you implying?
@@HarmonyHollowApiary Let’s put it a different way: She ain’t paying thousands of extra dollars just so that you won’t catch her with her long-term boyfriend
The moment he said that the rate of acceptance to med school was the same, there was no justifying the payment of an extra $100k.
I guessing a very good state school. It just happened to be in the same state her family live in.
I suspect he is full of crap. He would have used the actual names of the universities (and we could have easily fact checked him) if he wasn’t full of crap.
@user-hn9qw7ou8d He didn't want to reveal his family's location. Like you did not want to reveal your identity, so you used a bull crap username.
@@rayj.9568 Yeah, if he would have said the names of the universities, we would have easily identified him, thus endangering his family. Brilliant point.
I remember wanting to go to a more expensive school straight out of high school. Parents said no 🤣 and I went to community college first before transferring to get my bachelors. I thank God they didn’t listen to me, saved me so much money
Cool, then she can pay for it.
Doesn't fix the problem just creates a new one. When she's drowning in debt, she's probably gonna blame you for letting her make that decision.
Periodt!
And parents should NOT cosign either for a loan
Easy right
Exactly, the audacity oh her smh
Considering that it's only an undergrad for applying to med school, going the more expensive route is unnecessary. Med school itself tends to be quite expensive.
She's entitled to her choice but she should pay for the difference if she wants to go to the more expensive one.
That's true but also they are her parents. It is irresponsible for them to not strongly counsel her against the poor choice that will lead to her having $120k of unnecessary debt to pay off.
@@maxrice6990 honestly by 18, they missed their chance for that.
That's what I told my daughters: Here is what we have planned for your college education. If you want to spend more than that, it's on you. I did the same thing with their clothes in high school. I budgeted for Walmart jeans; if they wanted Express, they were responsible for the difference.
@@michellerichardson3090 Ehh, easier said than done, Michelle. Lots of kids that are bright and hardworking take out debt because it's easy to be oblivious to the value of the dollar at that age, even if you're raised right for the most part. And there is still a lot of growth to be had from age 18 to mid-twenties. Some encouragement in the right direction from parents is great at that age, as long as the parents understand it is different than dealing with a 16 year old or 10 year old.
She’s entitled to her choice of college but she’s not entitled to going to college. She needs to fund it for herself or not go to college.
This should have been a 20 second video. Your daughter can attend any university if she pays for it.
Except she will probably fall into the student loan hole. Which then sets back the parents too.
@@mrjack8849 no effect on the parents... unless they co-sign.
@@ricm96 doesn’t matter if they’re in a loan or not. If the kid is broke, where do you think she will come to for money or housing first? Much less if something happens to them and they can’t take care of themselves. These parents don’t sound like they would abandon their kid.
You can say one word: No. You got the loan yourself, you pay for it yourself. There is this magical thing called a ✨️job✨️
The value analysis was good.
You don't need Dave Ramsey to help make this decision for you. This is when you are a parent, teacher and the provider put your foot down.
Some of these kids are so entitled! If my parents said to me I can pay 100% of your college tuition if you go to a reasonably priced one, I would have jumped for joy and gladly went to whatever school they could afford!!
Same here, had to pay all my college myself and also my first car, my parents never offered me anything.
OMGosh! Same Betty! Same! 🙌🏾
Entitled? Have you seen who Bernie’s supporters are? It’s not the children of successful parents who pay for everything that support Bernie and demand the taxpayer pay for their college. It’s the children of parents who don’t give them enough and refuse to pay for their college that feel they’re entitled to have their college paid for by you and me because their parents refuse to do their jobs. Every young Bernie supporter I’ve come across has student debt because their parents didn’t pay. Every single one.
Then she can apply for all the scholarships, grants, loans, and work a job or two to pay for it.
EDIT: If she has no concept of the cost of living on her own, I’d say have her live off-campus while attending the more affordable college. She’d have to support herself (getting a job to pay rent, utilities, transportation, etc.) and get an idea of what it takes to be on her own. After a year, she can determine if she can afford to support herself and pay herself through the far-from-home college.
Good idea.
I thought the same thing. If there are cheap apartments available, she can move out even with the cheaper school. My kid didn't learn about how much food, rent and life cost when parents aren't paying for it.
Yea. Told my daughter the only way i’d spend to educate her was to buy her a stripper pole. Best investment ever, she payin my bills now
I agree. She can be away from home in the same city.
Whats more insane is they're not even talking about med school yet which will be another 100k-200k
I had this crossroads. The more expensive school was more exclusive and had a twice as good student to teacher ratio. I loved school, but I am still paying for it 18 years later. I don't think it was worth it.
Yea. Told my daughter the only way i’d spend to educate her was to buy her a stripper pole. Best investment ever, she payin my bills now
@@Kaktus965 lol. Is it more lucrative than a medical degree?
Kaktus she’s paying your bills until she’s 30 and “ages out” of her stripping career.
A year ago I was having this EXACT conversation with my daughter. I don’t want to project too much on this caller, but I’m thinking he’s Latino, I’m Caribbean. Fathers in this position can have a tendency to spoil their kids for their own selfish purposes and to show the outside world “hey, look at me, I came up and can do for my kids everything you’re doing for your kid!”. This can lead to entitlement.
I came to this country at 8yrs old and it was just my mother, brother, and I. I worked hard to get an education and a good job such that my wife didn’t have to work. She was home with the kids about 80% of time growing up. Fast forward to 2021 and our little angel is graduating high school and wants to “get away from home”. The plan was always for her to go to the same state school her mother and I went to, but nooo she wanted to go to her “dream school” and have mommy and daddy fork over $200K more than the state school. Not happening. Everything worked out because she got a full, four year scholarship for her “dream school” and shut daddy up. :)
Congratulations
Caribbean, Latino yada yada has nothing to do with it, we put way too much emphasis on nonsense......
That's 'Dads' period..... dude's name name was Manuel let's not over stereotype him......same conversation and situation if guy was named George or Jorge
@@geminieric1662 Nonsense? Lol. I get what you're trying to say, but the motivations of someone that walked barefoot before they came to the USA are more often than not, extremely different from those who are native born.
@@geminieric1662 youre sounding like one right now 😂🤣
Yes!! My dad was low key like this (Mexican) and he always wanted to give us the best in life (he was an orphan). But when I got around to going to college I expected him to pay for it and got a rude awakening when he said he didn’t even have a penny for college 😅😂… it’s not worth going into debt for universities especially. I’d say get an associates at a community college and then see how you feel once you get through thay
As a young adult, this was really insightful how Dave walked him through the pros and cons of each situation. I hope to teach this to my future kids as a first generation college student myself.
easy solution, hey daughter you can go to whatever school you want but we will only pay the amount for university A. If you choose to attend university B, we will only cover the amount that university A costs. You can make whatever choice you want.
I would take it further. Dear daughter we will pay $x for school A. If you choose to attend school B then you pay for everything. Love you!!!!
@@kennethlowrey2902 YES, THAT’S the perfect solution .. 👏
@@SO4JTV In my opinion there is nothing wrong with influencing an adult child when it’s your cash on the line.
If the parents paid any part of the more expensive university B while having her take student loans for the difference, they'd be funding her stupidity. That's why Dave said they shouldn't pay anything for university B.
@@kennethlowrey2902Absolutely correct.
I’m from Connecticut we have some of the most expensive colleges above 70K a year. Get a degree that is worth something at bachelors level don’t hope graduate will work out when it cost 200k to get there. As long as you take pre -reqs and clinical experience and you can apply to MED school. I know many who became
doctors starting at community college don’t be fooled by establishment.
I agree, its mind blowing that they would even consider 208K just to get a biology or chemistry degree. Medical school is the only field in medicine that she needs to even pay for this after she is done and that is not inlcuding the the cost of medical school which is not guaranteed she will get in. She will be half a million dollars by the time she finishes a medical degree its crazy. It better be a surgeon or something
Gender Studies
I worked at a med school for 8yrs and I can say they don’t only care about the school you graduated from, they also are looking for higher MCAT scores. By the time she finishes med school, between all STEP1,2,3 tests, travel, interviews etc she will have a huge debt. She will not be able to work during med school because it’s a full time career. I saw many students with scholarships struggle. She should think this through.
My ex had a scholarship in an MD,PhD and she developed depression.. definitely hard.
I wonder how much of a call like this stems from a person who is unable to simply tell his child what is happening with authority. He isn’t talking to his wife, there isn’t a “that’s the end of the conversation.” He’s the parent, he has the power to dictate terms, and I wonder if he’s just always been hesitant to do so.
I understand it’s more complex than that, but I wonder.
How did she get in her mind that it was reasonable as an upcoming adult to expect that from her parents ?
Princess syndrome
By being a spoiled brat her whole life aka it's her parents fault
It's the sickness of this generation. Remember that they are taught that they can do whatever they like.
Exactly
I paid about the same for my daughter’s undergrad and I have her in medical school right now. I paid a lot more for one of my other daughter’s undergrad. From the moment you find out your wife is pregnant, you have about 19 years to work, save, and invest. It’s not a big deal for us parents to pay for, but it is for the child because they obviously can’t work, save, and invest from the moment they are conceived.
This girl is entitled. The things the father said gives away the fact that they raised her this way. I never thought to myself that my parents will pay for any of my education. I worked since my freshman year of college and took out some loans to help pay for it and worked to pay off my own debt. Notice he had no concept of the fact that he could choose to withhold funds altogether. Add to that he said "we" when mentioning tackling med school costs for her.
I’m sorry that that’s what your experience was, but no one should put their kids in a position to start their careers off in debt, especially with college as expensive as it is now. Studies show that people who have all of their college paid for by their parents become more successful than those that pay their own way. That’s the whole reason we encourage our kids to go to college: to make more money. If you’re going to put them in a position to where they’re going to make less money, that defeats the whole purpose of them going to college. Entitled? Have you seen Bernie Sanders supporters? It’s not the kids that have all of their college paid for by their parents that support Bernie and feel they’re entitled to free college. It’s the kids of parents who didn’t help them and didn’t give them enough. I have never come across any young Bernie supporter that had their parents pay for all of their expenses at the colleges of their choice. Not one. Every single one of them have student debt because their parents didn’t help. Their parents didn’t give them enough, so they turn to taxpayers like you and me to give it to them. Also, from the time the parents find out they’re pregnant until the day the kid starts college, they have about 19 years to work, get promotions and raises, save, and invest. It’s not that big of a deal for the parents. It is very difficult for the child though because they obviously can’t work, get promotions and raises, save, and invest from the moment they’re conceived.
Agree with you and also dislike the sense of entitlement. Got to have a mentality to rise above canned societal beliefs. A person with a student loan debt is not destined to be less successful than those without one. I too paid my own way. Did have minor, partial help from employer education benefits. Build character and a sense of responsibility early.
I knew I wouldn't have help from my parents so I decided to go to Community College out of Pocket and I'm so glad I did one of the best choices I ever made
@@johnmartin4641 yo I wasn't expecting to get emotional reading this comment but you pulled heart strings. Someone who understands.
You are the opposite of entitled tho that word gets thrown around. Your parents should have helped you darling. I’m sorry it was so hard for you. I suppose it put hair on your chest to do it on your own but geez. They could have helped
Me as a dad: if you dont choose university A i guess your going to have to pay it on your own
@@aytcs its the parents money not hers, nowadays there is alot of spoiled kids
It’s my money as a parent, don’t like it, leave
@@aytcs
Spoken like an entitled broke person. (Not referring to OP)
@@aytcs no a wise parent. Makes no sense to pay more than you are willing or even have to give. It is called having boundaries. The child can figure out how to pay for the rest themselves...this is called working to get what you want/discipline.
@@R_W_Goodson 🤣my first thought. Sounds like a child/adult who wanted their parents to give them everything they wanted then resented them if they said no.
How do you convince her? Just say, "I'm not paying for it." Period. "I love you very much."
I worked as an academic advisor for 20+ years at a state university. My most memorable student was a young lady who said to my face that this particular university was, where she came from, "the bottom." In her high school they posted the colleges each graduating senior was accepted into--she was accepted into a very prestigious school, but her parents told her they couldn't afford it. So, a freshman raging against her parents and the state university. One year later, she had joined the crew team and loved, loved, loved the state university and was glad she went there.
Someone like that needs to work in the real world for a few years or at least pay a few big bills on their own. It will probably shock their system and realize that maybe a small state school is the best option. Having no debt and having a decent income starting out is huge. Tell her she would have enough money to go on nice vacations instead lol. But in the end if she wants to apply to expensive schools, realize she needs to pay for it or take out a loan and suffer the consequences. This is her first big girl decision at 18. This why it is important to work for a year or two before you go to college to get real world experience.
I live in San Antonio and have two kids in college. One is at UTSA and the other just started at the community college. Two years at the community college will cost about $5000 and two years at UTSA will cost about $20k. That's $25k to get a bachelor's degree. They work jobs as well to help cash flow it. It's crazy to spend all of that money just for them to live on campus.
@NomadBachelor that's awesome... Best wishes with your future
Let's not forget to mention the fact of how many kids go to college with one major in mind only to change that major a few years into college....and the great college system which charges you the same price no matter what the degree is in!
Funny, when I was 18, my parents were the ones who made major financial decisions. I feel sorry for any man ending up with this woman. She is going to be expensive beyond rationality
If she’s a doctor making mid six figures might not be too bad
I remember when I was 18 and thought the world owed me everything. Thankfully, my demands never got beyond wanting a 2 door car vs a 4 door because they were sportier looking. Dad told me I could foot the bill for insurance.
My parents ended that with me in 4th grade beginning with telling me I was on my own funding tuition after 18 and to try to get a scholarship and save.
Haha! I remember wanting a 4 door car!! I got one, but I also paid for it
and look at you now, no where close to where youd have been if your parents prioritized your future over their present.
This is about emotions and entitlement. She wants to look down at her high school classmates and floss with her "prestige" university 😎. Out of control emotions get us in debt pretty fast.
We don't even know what the two schools are it may not be a flex worthy school.
I ended up needing some credits after my 4th year at college and assumed my parents would pay. My dad said he would not, and then I was furious... until I thought about it. Then I realized he was right and that I was acting like a moocher. Plus this was the 90s back when college administrators were just regular greedy not like today's DisneyWorld-style mega greedy so the credits were affordable.
It’s terrible that in California public universities students can’t get all their requirements in in four years.
Daughter doesn’t know the value of money.
She obviously does if the dad already told her how much money the schools cost, which he claims he did.
This caller was a cool guy and seems like a good dad. I hope his daughter took his advice to heart.
My son, who is legitimately brilliant, applied to the big name tech schools and got in to some and waitlisted to others. He also got in to our state's highly ranked but lesser known public tech university). As he made his decision, we told him how much we had to pay for college - which is enough to cover the state school with no student loans. And that is all we are going to pay. If he wanted to go to the big name school, he would have to cover the difference with loans. All it took was doing the math, and he chose the state school. It's a no-brainer.
Junior college for as many transferable credits as possible, then transfer to upper level classes. Heck, for the cost difference between the two colleges, she could buy a house! Then how is she paying for medical school??
This girl has no idea how much undergrad and med school costs $$$
Then tell her to take out a loan and enjoy a lifetime of unnecessary debt, and don't co-sign anything for her.
Here’s how you discuss: find someone who graduated with that much debt who had experienced the burden of the payments.
Lots of people who start medical programs don’t finish them for many reasons (including finding it’s not a fit for them)
Very true. Some students are very settled, they shadowed professions, volunteered at hospitals, medical offices, talked to doctor's but others have an "idea" of what it is like. They should also look at stats from beginning to end. Good med prep colleges don't except students in they think will drop out. They brag about 80% up staying the course. It's not about the money, it looks good on paper and gets them more students who are prepared to do the work
I'm with Dave on this one. Bonus: If she goes to School A, which the parents have money saved for her undergrad, then over the course of the next four years, Mom & Dad can continue to put money aside for medical school and hopefully, she can become a doctor with limited student loan debt.
I agree. This makes the most sense. Especially since she's going to be going to med school anyway after her undergrad. 🤷🏾♀️
I don't understand why parents just can't say "NO". Why do they have to draw all the reasons & drama. They can't afford to send her to College B- end of story. I would also bet that this little girl doesn't want to work a job while in college to make up that difference.
Exactly! I don’t understand the father’s dilemma. 😵💫
Right. What’s with these weak mamby pamby parents that let the kids call the shots. Just say no geez
Because if you don't give explanations to kids nowadays. They call you toxic , cut you out of their life
@@spiderpig24321 well
Until they need something 😀
@@spiderpig24321 I'm thinking this girl couldn't survive without her parents. That's what is wrong with this generation. Parents want to be their kids friend & not actually parent their child. That's why their kid ends up being entitled & will struggle thru life as life doesn't always bend to every spoiled childs ways.
I attended a state university for an undergraduate chemistry degree then attended medical school. I have retired from thirty years of laboratory medicine practice. This young female is crazy! Her parents should firmly say no.
Have her join the military and get a scholarship through them. My son is an anesthesiologist courtesy of the US Navy.
There is no way this girl gets through medical school! She needs to get a job and work.
The truth is she wants the full college experience. She thinks she's a grown up. She wants the freedom to party. Get her back blown out without her parents coming into her bedroom.
She sounds like she hasn't earned to money her parents set aside for her education.
its OK to say no to your kids. I told my kids what i was paying, beyond that was on them.
wow 50k a year for college tuition even after scholarships. How did college tuition get so high these days!!!!
Dave: "Sell the kid"
LOL🤣🤣🤣
In many cases, students can take prerequisite classes at a state college, transfer those credits to a more prestigious school and get a degree there. Be sure to verify ahead of time that the credits WILL transfer! This worked out for me, purely by luck.
Exactly! I did this to transfer from University of North Georgia (a community/state level college) to University of Georgia, one of the top state schools in Georgia. I was unable to get in out of high school, but transferred in after a year.
Think the girl just wanted to party.
100%
You should see the drop rate from engineering and pre-med programs when the first intro coursework starts.
It’d make your head spin to see how many “think” they can handle the math and concepts only to be humbled and slide into a business major by the 3rd semester.
The dad I straight up soft, lay your foot down an say it’s either you go to the school I’ll pay for or you pay for it yourself.
I almost feel like this was a useless call, anyone with a brain knows to control their kids rather than have their kids control them.
My kids are gonna be God's just like me
@@musicpro7278 inflated ego much? As unique as your family may seem, I think your implying a meaning to my statement that Im not trying to portray.
@@origins777 lol
Controlling parents usually end up estranged from their children. I know because that’s one of the reasons I’m estranged from my control freak parents.
@@johnmartin4641 control comes in many forms and it doesn't have to be over reaching, I love how you guys jump to the idea that I'm saying parents have to be dictators, simply don't let your kids elevate themselves over you in the family hierarchy, if they don't agree then let them branch off and taste the world for themselves.
I was in a similar situation in high school and the amount in my college fund (which was low) was what helped me make my decision. Living at home wasn't fun but I saved alot. Now I will say that a small amount of debt would be worth not living at home for.
Sounds like our issue with our daughter. She wants the most expensive car possible and we will only buy a reasonable 5k-10k car. Nothing special but works well. It’s been a headache. We have friends who make 1/3 or 1/2 of our income and they are financing 30k-50k cars for their 16 year old. We think they are crazy but it makes our daughter think that’s reasonable or responsible because “they are doing it”. I’m sure college won’t be much different. Everything is set up to dig a huge financial hole for young people.
May be time to explain the total amount you can provide toward car and college and have her think about how to best use the amount. Also, maybe look up a car loan payment calculator to show her how much the total cost of a car is if it has to be financed (and how its value drops after being owned for a while). Good luck!
@@jerimorgan4114 I like those ideas. But I think at that stage of development, they want what they want and feel threatened by what everyone else has. It feels humiliating not be like everyone else. Well, combating this is what parents are for.
Tell her she can pay the difference then.
"well if you really loved me you would allow me to go to University B", would most likely be her reply.
I wonder about their relationship too. Does she feel smothered in some way? I know Dave didn't want his daughter going out of state and he could afford it. Some parents want kids close although adults and know they can't afford it on their own. I was lucky mine had a 3-4 hour window since they knew they wanted to be home for holiday's and occasional weekends without much issue.
went thru this with my oldest child--she flunked out because of excessive partying and is the only one of my parents grandchildren who does not have a degree
200k even after a lot of scholarships??? Wow I can't imagine.
Everybody In college starts off as Pre-med lol
I graduated optometry school and sat on admissions board. Fact: More prestigious schools are highly regarded, less prestigious schools are not. Look into scholarships.
You don't have to EXPLAIN to her. TELL HER WHAT YOU CAN DO. THAT'S iT.
If you don’t explain, it will be received by her as spiteful and destroy their relationship. My parents constantly said “no” to everything I wanted to do and I no longer speak to them.
A LOT OF PARENTS ARE AFRAID TO TELL THEIR KIDS NO, IT FEELS INCONFORTABLE AND YOUR KIDS WILL ARGUE BUT YOU HAVE TO STAND YOUR GROUND AND BE HONEST. I THINK YOUNG ADULTS NEED TO REALIZE THAT PARENTS DO NOT HAVE TO SACRIFICE THEIR LIFE SAVINGS, TIME AND HEALTH JUST TO PLEASE THEM. EACH INDIVIDUAL HAS TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICE AND YOUNG ADULTS ARE FULL OF ENERGY, ENERGY THAT SHOULD BE USED TO WORK AND GO TO SCHOOL AND NOT TO DRAIN YOUR PARENTS FOR EVERITHING THEY HAVE.
@@johnmartin4641 No one cares that you're mad that mommy and daddy treated you like an adult instead of a spoiled brat.
She’s lucky her parents are even considering helping her. They don’t have any obligation to do so. She needs to recognize any help she gets from her parents are on their terms, not hers.
tell her if she can rustle up a hundred grand she can go if she pays the difference
For the price difference they could buy their daughter a condo to live in while she goes to the cheaper college, then she could live by herself and you'd have an investment.
Yes - but - this girl obviously lacks the maturity to handle that kind of responsibility. She needs supervision.
she should not go to college until she has a concept. it makes no sense for her to go to the less expensive option if she is upset about it
Fair point. Imagine scoffing at $88k
@@mightymouse9001 given her intent is medical school, if she get 88k from mom and dad, borrows 120k, then borrows another 400k+ for medical, that is still viable if she successfully graduates, and becomes a doctor. but if she fails late in the game, then it would be very difficult to pay that debt as other than a doctor. My guess is she has had a moderately comfortable life, may have a some friend with well off parents, but does not realize that her parents are not that well off. not unusual for high school students. Thats why I think a year of starbucks barista will help her get a proper realignment
Too often parents wait until a child's Senior year to discuss funding for college that's when it's too late! The time to start discussing college nowadays with kids is 7th grade!!
Imagine paying these sums of money for education. The American education system is a joke, and needs to change.
I was like his daughter when i was choosing colleges. I was dumb and didnt know better. I dont remember my parents trying to convince me to choose the cheapest school. They didnt have the proper financial education either.
I dont understand how they couldn't give her what they wanted, at a third cheaper college. $80k per year is high price, she could get into a less prestigious school for less AND be moved out.
College In the US is so overpriced. Can go to other country and get a degree for much less and still get into Healthcare industry if you pass US exams. Not easy but I know people doing this and did it.
In the trucking industry the freight rates are the same no matter what truck you have. We have the same issue in this industry where guys with a $200000 truck laugh at guys with a $15000 truck. If both trucks do the same job and make the same money which one of us should be laughing?
Entitlement only works if there are entitling persons involved.
Entitled? Have you seen who Bernie’s supporters are? It’s not kids that have everything paid for by their parents that support Bernie. It’s the kids of parents who didn’t give them enough that feel they’re entitled to have their college paid for by the taxpayers. Every young Bernie supporter I’ve come across had to pay for their own college and none of them had their college paid for by their parents. Not a single one. Their parents didn’t give them enough, so they look to us taxpayers to give them what their parents failed to give them.
I feel like there's a halfway house, couldn't she go to the local college but still live in dorms?
Also med school will almost certainly be further away.
140k debt is honestly not worth it.
I graduated college in 2006, are scholarships not a thing anymore? I graduated with a B.S. in civil engineering without a dime from my parents. Why do kids burden thier parents with paying for thier college.
Because a parents’ job is to provide for their children. Studies show people who have all of their college paid for by their parents make more money than those who pay their own way. That’s the whole reason we encourage our kids to go to college: to make more money. Putting them in a position to where they make less money defeats the whole purpose of college. And us parents have about 19 years to work, save, and invest from the moment we find out we’re having a baby until the day they go to college. Our kids obviously can’t start working, saving, and investing from the moment they’re conceived. That’s why it’s not a big deal for us parents to pay, but it’s a lot more difficult for the kids to pay.
@@johnmartin4641 lol get lost bozo
Then pay for it yourself ... tired of spoiled, entitled children who thus far have contributed nothing thinking they are entitled to their parent's future.
This sounds more like entitlement!
She should be incredibly grateful she's getting any help from her parents. My parents gave me the big goose egg.
I laid out the ground rules for both my kids. I’ll pay for 4 years at a state school or a reciprocal state school. Plus they needed to maintain a 3.0 for continued funding. Any deviation came out of their pocket. They both graduated debt free after 4 years and are living great lives. Nothing wrong with rules.
This parent is a push over. He has a spoiled brat on his hands.
Make her pay for it, and do NOT co-sign!
She can start delivering pizzas early.
Fine example of "intellect doesn't always come with intelligence."
I went to a college in my home town but I still chose to move out to live on campus. Students don't have to live at home in Uni if they want to put in work.
Sounds to me she has a friend or a boyfriend going to school B and that’s the main reason why she’s choosing school B
My parents went thru the same thing with my sister. She didn't grasp the amount of money it costs and that my parents didn't just have that money laying around (and both colleges were about the same distance from home).
Part of what the father needs to also express to his daughter is that things change all of the time. She may go to school and find out that she hates her major. Or she could go to the more expensive school and hate being there. Or she may go to the more expensive school, hate it, and then find that she likes the less expensive school much more. I've seen these scenarios happen all of the time, so it's better to make the smaller financial mistake.
Where I feel for the father is that his daughter sounds a lot like my sister. My dad ended up saying that he would pay for the less expensive school and if she wanted to go to the more expensive school she would have to pay the difference. She ended up seeing his point and still went to the less expensive school, but in the end she never forgave my parents for not sending her to the more expensive school (despite the fact that she loved the less expensive school and met her future husband there).
He may need to have a 'Come to Jesus' moment with his daughter before it's too late and she thinks she's always supposed to get her way and ends up resenting her parents over this.
Yea. Told my daughter the only way i’d spend to educate her was to buy her a stripper pole. Best investment ever, she payin my bills now
Then she can pay for it!
This is very simple to solve. This is what we can afford, take, or let's look for other options. You may have to work. My parents were not able to help me with college, they told me, we don't have the funds to help you, but if you are willing to work and pay for your college, it is great. You will have free housing and food as long you want and need. So, go for it. And guess what? I was working 80 hrs a week, part-time student. Took me a little longer to finish, but I did it, debt free. Do not ask me about college parties or events because I was too busy from my home to work, to college, and repeat. Sometimes, I sleep a couple of hours and, obviously, work every single day, putting over time on weekends. So, things can be done, but you have to do extreme to get that done and reach your goals.
So she’s not considered the OTHER 300 THOUSAND dollars after interest when she is a doctor????
Heartfelt congratulations to the parents for all their planning and steadfast sacrifice in saving nearly six figures for furthering their daughter's education. ❤
She may seem a little self absorbed at this time in her life, however, wait ten more years and you will have a young woman visiting your supper table with grace, dignity and thankfulness.
You have done an incredible job so far! Stay on the straight and narrow path! Prayers for y'all, and may your daughter be an amazing physician, serving her community! 👍❤
What? She’s a spoiled brat trying to strong arm her parents. They need to say NO. She should be grateful for ANYTHING her parents provide. Imagine scoffing at a free education and $88k gift? She’s awful
@@dcg590 Ah, I couldn't agree more. 👍 These parents have sacrificed a lot to save that much. One can hope Little Princess 👸 matures as the years pass, as she will be treating patients. 🙏
I found that paying rent was a bigger cost than tuition going to a great state school in California.
I work with people who went to Ivy leauges and I went to a CA school too.
You do not need to go into huge debt for this! If she wants the away from home option then let her foot the difference for the bill!
If she wants to stay in a dormitory for the first year, pay for her tuition and ask her to go get a part time job to pay for the dorm and daily expenses. That way she can still choose the cheaper school, learn to earn money to fund whatever her expenses are, and get to live outside of her family so she can have the “experience”.
Foolish to burn up a ton of cash for a pre-med cirriculum. Lots of students have that ambition and find out it isn't for them. The major expense is ahead of you, should you realize your dream and get accepted to Medical School. One option for those having a hard time reckoning with the expense is to consider a health profession scholarship. The Army, Navy, and AF all have programs. The selection process is competitive, but they pay tuition, books and miscellaneous expenses and you also receive a monthly stipend (about $2400/month). Yes, you owe them a year for year service commitment, but keep in mind, you come out relatively debt free. While on active duty, you might want to stick around and get residency training in a specailty of your choice, while collecting a decent salary.
Just another way to achieve your dream.
As someone who was in a similar predicament, my mother was able to convince me to go to the university closer to home that we could afford. After graduating college debt free, I am grateful for my mothers decision. I know too many people who have a load of debt, all for an "experience".
No you are not paying for this. Wow! Problem solved. The real problem is she can go into debt on her own, and that’s why she desperately needs an education in economics AND responsibility. If she really wants to live away at home, the military would love to have her.