How to Stop Enabling a Narcissist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2020
- Because you are good, kind, compassionate, or pleasing person, you may not realize the ways in which you are enabling a narcissist to continue behaving badly.
You know that you cannot stop their behavior, but you can take positive steps to stop enabling their behavior, and take your own power back. Listen in for the how-tos!
Here's an early episode of my podcast on this topic too:
• Is It Possible That Yo...
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
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It’s just such a stressful situation because regardless of your decision, you’ll second guess and beat yourself up for it
With help, you can stop second-guessing yourself and beating yourself up. Then, you can gain clarity and make different decisions.
Yes make yourself priority so important self care
Yes, do that!
@@ForRelationshipHelp ❤️
When I listen to all your videos it makes my mind truly understand it wasn't all about me. Letting go becomes easier when we face the truth of who they are and who we are.
I don’t owe people anything and they don’t owe me anything either, rule number number one is don’t expect anything from anyone,turn people loose when they don’t reciprocate . When people show who they are first time believe them. I don’t enable people anymore.
You're figured out some very helpful things for having better quality relationships, for sure!
My husband said he should move back in with me because he will make my life better. 😆
Well, how self-centered and narcissistic is that! I suggest you tell him to make your life much better for a year before you consider letting him move back in. Only sustained change over a long period of time will do, in my books. How are you responding?
Awareness of how you might enable them, they are takers, make you wrong for not giving them enough, they wanted an over giver - you !
Don't give them benefit of doubt !
Don't be too ready to give them too much
Have boundaries & don't go beyond them
Don't rationalise or justify their poor behaviour because of their stress etc - they can get help if they need it
Don't feel sorry for them when they run the victim lines by you - you didn't break them you can't fix them
Don't make excuses for them as it's not healthy l
Confront the behaviour (although they will never accept their bad behaviour )
It means you will put upfront a difference of opinion
Enable means give someone authority to do something or makes something possible for them to continue their bad or destructive behaviour
Public picture - perfection
Private picture - difficult rude bad behaviour and controlling
I pulled back from a taker. I believe he. took my kind heartheartness for being a easy target. Met online...long distance. Never met. He took and took and i caved in. He was relentless. I am doing full break. Its my life not his.
Yay! Good for you! You're right. You owe him nothing but silence.
I stand up to it. I always tell them they have no excise or they can justify it it can be exhausting
Exhausting, for sure!
Thanks
Yesterday i enabled them and i totally regretted it. i lost my dignity and i think she felt it. I got smaller she got bigger
Good insight! Now, you know you'll not do it again. That's the beginning of reclaiming your personal power!
@@ForRelationshipHelp she made me believe her lies through guilt trip. I'm confused, I don't know what's true anymore. She gashlights and i dont speak up to avoid this gashlighting. I'm afraid I'm losing my authenticity. I have an extreme stomachache three days now
Thanks $Trillions, Earth Angel! We Love You Soooooooh Much! One Love! 👏🌌👣
I understand that i enable.. my question is why..?
It could be that you have a inbalance between compassion for others and compassion for yourself. You may be afraid of saying no to a Hijackal. You may need to be needed (co-dependence.) You may feel that having boundaries with consequences is "tough on people." (And, no. It's healthy!) SO many reasons.
How clever are they
Enabling is helping that really hurts everyone - don't turn into a doormat,
Where is the equality ?
Plus they get away with poor behaviour & they can continue abusing you
Absolutely true!
What if you feel you may have some of these tendencies when you didn't before you meet the narcissist? But my parents was also.
That's what's known as Hijackal fleas. You get them from being around Hijackals. Because you can recognize that you acquired these, you can usually change these tendencies into some that are healthier and will make you happier with your self and in life. I wish you well.
@@ForRelationshipHelp I'll look to see if you have a video on this. I find your content very helpful to me. Thank you for all you do.
How clever
I have to stop on one penny. Because that is what I got paid during the pandemic staying at home and working for my husband.
I'm sorry that you were so affected by this pandemic. Unfortunately, you have company. I wish you well.
@@ForRelationshipHelp i put that penny tails up under his side of the bed
You stop narcissists by not obsessing about them