Why Trauma-Bonding is SO Confusing
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- Am I in love or trauma-bonded? Did my parents love me or was I trauma-bonded? Trauma-bonding IS confusing, and essential to recognize!
Understanding trauma-bonding--what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like--can help you end the confusion and see clearly. Then, you can make good decisions about the Hijackals in your life and choose healthy relationships.
Note: at 48:13 there's a little glitch for a minute or two, please just skip to 50:12!
Trauma-bonding is addictive, and it takes strength and courage to turn away. You CAN DO IT!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
What is trauma-bonding
Why you can be confused by it
Why trauma-bonding can be mistaken for love WHICH IT IS NOT!
Ways to recognize trauma-bonding conversations
See the cycle: Manipulate. Abuse. Manipulate.
I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @forrelationshiphelp
* Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Website: www.EmergingEmp...
Podcast: www.SaveYourSan...
EE Community: www.JoinInToday...
Work with Dr. Shaler: www.beaclient.com
Subscribe to Newsletter: www.hijackalhel...
Blog: www.narcissismb...
Facebook: / hijackals
Twitter: @RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: / rhobertashaler
Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler
Pinterest: @RhobertaShaler
TH-cam: / forrelationshiphelp
Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
Take my free checklists: www.forrelatio...
Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on TH-cam to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.. When you're ready, let's talk.
You can take advantage of my one-time. new client introductory Consultation here (only $97 for a full hour)
www.BeAClient.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WANT A SAFE PLACE-- off social media--
TO TALK, ASK QUESTIONS, GET EXPERT ANSWERS & SUPPORT?
Join my Emerging Empowered Community, online:
www.JoinInToday...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Explore my eCourses to build your confidence in dealing with narcissistic people.
for-relationsh...
#traumabonding #boundaries #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This content has been created and recorded for the general interest and information of the viewer/listener. Nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice, or personal advice of any kind. It is entirely informational, offering readers, viewers, subscribers, followers, and members educational resources, anecdotes, case studies, and stories.
Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind. - บันเทิง
The physical effect I got from trauma bonding is I was shaking inside and I think the hijackls can take it away
It's been almost 2 years since I walked out of the marriage and at the time it felt as though I was tearing myself in half. I had been documenting his behaviors almost the whole 2 years we were together so I couldn't deny the fact he was emotionally abusing me. I'm so glad I did, it helped me leave. Last month I told him in text exactly why I left, he told me I was being petty and because of what I did, walked out, he had lost all trust in human kind! What a laugh! I can't wait to file the divorce papers with a domestic abuse lawyer.
Everything you mention in this video is so true to my story, thank you.
It is hypnotic I was hypnotized. They hypnotized me and if they told me to act like a chicken I would of . I was the way she wanted to be. I thought I DID IT BECAUSE I LOVED HER.
The low self esteem I lost and how she guilted me for being insecure. (just like you say)!! And then she compared me and tell me how confident her rich and powerful friends. She compared how I walked, talked, looked (meaning things I could never achieve). How I coached sports. And there was things that I did do good and they ridiculed me. All the while hiding our money
One of the best explanations I have heard of the trauma bond broken down simply ro a clarifying reason thank you Dr I have been in this multiple times I'm ashamed ro say but it is a sneaky kind of abuse and I recognize it now and shut it down quick but I do question why I have been in this sad situation I do think it has to do with child hood trauma& feeling familiar definitely. God Bless
I was trauma bonded to my abusive hijackyl large family. Including aunts and uncles. My family was enmeshed with so many. I should of went no contact when I was 18 from my family. Then I married a hijackyl when I was 24. She became the leader by adding all the rich hijackyls we met through our sons. Was it the whole community in Canada for You? Like it is the whole community for me.
No one would believe a word of what I say! About him and my family. 😢my family is their flying monkeys now, they do the work for him better than he could do it ever himself to lose my identity all together. How do I believe in myself then 😞
My adopted mother adopted an infant with later diagnosed bpd. He was diagnosed at a young age with this disorder as well as a comorbidity of schizophrenia. I was adopted later when they knew there as an issue with his behavior. Speaking of the physical consequences of being around any individual with a mental and emotional disorder, my mother had heart problems, back issues, and cancer in his later years. All I can take away from this experience is that some people you just have to love from a distance. But I feel I have the right to comment on this issue since I was put into this environment with no way of escaping its effects. I recommend to anyone wanting to adopt a child with a mental disability to become very educated on these matters and consider all of the information available to you in an objective manner. This child turned into a full blown abusive man who just “couldn’t help it”. Well, in my opinion, if he couldn’t understand the consequences of his actions, then he should have not been expected to live in a home with other humans who had to suffer them for him. I call him Pinocchio and it’s sad he couldn’t be turned into a real boy. But boy, was he good at lying to cover up what he didn’t understand about himself. Or his mother wouldn’t make him accountable for. People will do some amazing things to hide what they’re really afraid of. And being able to make someone afraid of what they’ll do only gives them all the power. He should have been removed from our home. Because his mental illness was the only things in control. And this is what we hope we’ve left. But we unfortunately were too young to see how harmful an emotional abuser truly was. Very scary people. Especially when you see how they destroy an enablers sense of reason. I love your channel and I thank you for warning people about the dangers of these abusive people. They’re quite a sight to behold. And to always watch out for in our future. It’s unreal to think about being thought of as a thing. But that’s how they see the world and that’s very scary to me.
Thank you so much
God bless you! You explained 18 years of betrayal, sexually, financially, mentally, physically abused. I'm a fighter though. What has happened is that I have been so abused, I'm not sure that this person knew that I didn't even care and I still don't if I have to fight him until my death. I will not allow any one to try to make themselves feel better on account of trying me! My anger is at its peak. However, I am not a danger to anyone or myself! To leave this selfish animal.. is to be extremely determined! Therapists and professionals always say never let them know you're going to leave. Kiss me and almost killed me. Will win my world loves the truth because he is the truth or she is the truth and I have the truth in me and I have faith I will survive. I am going to fight him. And the only way to do so is to finally fine get financially I don't care if I have to work any jobs I don't care I will be independent in order to leave him. He is a living nightmare. Cheating, beating, irresponsible, it's just lying a million beautiful women on his Facebook but I'm not his friend, getting renewed at his retirement savings and gambling it all away in a year and suddenly after 18 years going to his homeland in Peru with femicide is number one in the world. Well he met his freaking match! Because this is America. He's already assaulted me so many times and been arrested but, I have had to say oh it's because I was drinking and it's because I was financially abused and I am being so financially abused and never included never ever get to know what he has for money. He wants control. But when I leave it means I win! He has no idea that I am one step ahead. He's not going to know the exact moment. He thinks I'm threatening him. I have every intention on leaving this piece of s*** for the rest of my life! And I don't like calling anybody that. But they really are people the only harm others. I am convinced that he is a sociopath. Hiring prostitutes saying that oh well you're this you're that you don't cook and I'm in school full-time, I quit drinking, I quit smoking cigarettes, everything and what does he do? Buy his mother's house in Peru on stilts above the Amazon River he had $250,000 freaking dollars a year ago from his annuity. I got to go to the hairdresser once, and I was paying three credit cards that equal 24 00. He went to the bank purposely before Christmas last year and it was even after I had put him on the account and said they were fraudulent. He got his 2400 back, with through 2000 and every single payment on the credit cards on Christmas Eve was rejected and I ended up owing all of my f****** credit card company. He doesn't realize I wanted good credit in order to get away from him I do not want to be with him. This man is incapable of love. He uses money in order to call the shots and look like the hero with strangers. He is nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing! He will say oh it doesn't matter if you don't want to have sex with me I can just hire a $20 hooker like this man doesn't use drugs or drink! I'm going to be completely frank. I would rather be with my son's dead father heroin again like I was a long time ago then ever have had to endure this. But, that's just something I'm saying right now. I have faith in God and because of this darkness and this deceit in this vile perversion of love, I know that God has a plan for me and I am so happy I quit smoking cuz my life is going to be so beautiful someday. I know it. And if God has forgiven me oh absolutely he has for my sins because I am not perfect at all. But I'm saying they're really are some people that really don't have a soul! Everybody needs to have discernment if they want to keep themselves from being betrayed. I will never allow anybody to do this to me ever again. Yes, I had to go back to him. He made sure all of the bills were in my name. I couldn't afford to not go back to him. I just couldn't because he had screwed my credit up even before! This is someone who doesn't even do drugs or drink. You know something? I'm tired of society undermining drug addict and alcoholics intelligences just because they want to feel better about themselves. Meanwhile, they're looking over at the suburban neighbors driveway that's getting new pavement and they're actually looking their hair out because they want they have driveway paved too? Sick sick sick thinking what is right is wrong what is wrong is right! The entire planet is inverted., I am certainly not one of them. My plan is to get my degree finally I know I'm old I know I'm 46 years old but I have continued my education through these terrible hurdles after I didn't even want to be with him I had a son and his father was a heroin addict and I wanted someone that had a job and he offered security he would not stop giving me money I had no idea why I found out for years later getting divorce papers in the mail I couldn't believe it. He did that before someone in Peru after having five children. Listen I'm going to say something really controversial. They are not bringing their best