Recognize Narcissistic Contempt: Nasty Ways Hijackals Demean, Dismiss & Discount You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 พ.ค. 2020
- If you're with a relentlessly difficult, toxic person, you know that look. I call it the "Hijackal Smirk." So irritating! It's contempt for you, your thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants.
Today, I clearly define what's going on with that all that so that you can recognize it for what it is, and decide if you want to live with it...or, have your children model it.
First, what is "contempt"? The dictionary defines it as:
"the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn."
Does that about nail it on the head for how you feel you've been treated, spoken to, looked at or otherwise discounted by a spouse, parent, boss, coworker, child, friend or sibling?
Being on the receiving end of that is no fun. It feels icky and can really be hard to think yourself through.
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
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This hit me hard when you talked about after having a baby. My husband was so mad at me when my son was born early. He said I planned it so I wouldn’t have to can the tomatoes we grew. The day after I got home from the hospital he was banging around in the kitchen. Swearing at me. Asking if I felt good that he had to can tomatoes now. Calling me lazy. Etc. I was shocked. I still don’t believe it happened. It was so weird. Why did he care so much about tomatoes…? We could have easily bought a whole case at Costco. It wasn’t dire at all. It was the moment I realized I was dealing with something bigger than anything I’d ever dealt with before.
Quite a revelation about him, wasn't it? Hijackals see children as competition for attention...sadly.
Ahhhh ….. the good old MALE ENTITLEMENT !!! Please stand up for yourself and put boundaries in place immediately .
Makes me sad for you and young tot. You both deserve much more.
I said adios and divorced the creep👍
My former spouse was the same way. I remember one time being sick with the flu, and he said I was faking it so I didn't have to prepare dinner. The worst part about narcissism is that it is so subtle and deceptive, I didn't understand what was happening....like psychological warfare.
I caught my boyfriend shaming his head in disgust at me for simply putting coffee into the shopping cart after he had already done it. They are just horrible people.
Omg..my narc ex used to do very similar to me in the grocery store!!
I’m not allowed to have emotions or express myself. He is entitled to behave and say whatever he pleases, no matter how much it hurts me. I cannot express any disappointment or upset. I am not entitled to be a person. I feel very hopeless. Sometimes I do wonder if I deserve to live.
You absolutely deserve to live...just not in that circumstance. It's abusive. Are you ready to create an exit plan?
You need out ..... you cannot live your life in a space where you are not allowed to be human. You are not allowed to respond to the abuse so you are bring erased at the core level. This is why you are questioning your own existence. I hope you get out of there xxx
Get out Sis
You are not alone you deserve to live this isn't you fault you matter "Say No More"
Thank you, I needed to hear this.
I suffered hijackal from my narcissistic mother. She would treat me like I didn’t matter, dismissed me and discounted me in front of strangers. She would treat total strangers with kindness and would demonstrate contempt for me.
I'm sorry you experienced that. It's nasty, and it takes a lot to heal and recover from it.
Same x
I know EXACTLY the smirk you are talking about. It triggers me just to think about it.
Both my parents. Hostile actions. Well defined here.😢
I feel contemptuous of all the narcissists whose abuse I've endured! 🙄
Here here 😂
Oh they don't like it when you give them back the treatment they gave you...
"Vile, repulsive, subhuman, unworthy of consideration......." Perfect description of the narcissist!! They project their unwanted traits onto us!!
Sadly so! 😞
That is sad. Their caretaker made THEM feel that way.
Oh my lord, I am just out of the fog after a 4 year relationship and this is the most accurate thing I've ever heard, I really couldn't put my finger on what was going on 😭
Hi! I'm glad to hear that you are on your way to clarity, and health. I wish you well.
This was my mother's attitude towards me in a nutshell. She was that Alice in Wonderland Queen. She's passed this attitude onto my brothers and their spouses. Thank God I got away from them years ago.
Good for you! Contempt is nothing to hang around for, for sure.
Same. My sister is the narc now and brother they all live next to each other
Yes I see that look,as total hatred and disgust...It sends shivers down my spine.
Nasty, isn't it?
What's hard to take is being treated with contempt while people around you aren't. And it's frustrating if they do it to you privately. Ever tell someone what the Narc has said and they come along and say something entirely different to you about the matter in front of the person you confided in?
Oh, yes, Hijackals always want to be in control of the narrative, and will contradict you in a heartbeat...or less.
@@ForRelationshipHelp or they change the conversation or overpower it
Omg YES‼️My mother is currently fighting for her life in the hospital. I was by her bedside day and night rest broken jumping at every twitch of her and body and spoken command only to to watch her treat the hospital staff with the upmost courtesy, kindness, and respect.
She dismissed me in front of total strangers. When I spoke up about it she started gaslighting me completely changing narrative. She treated me with distain and made it clear to them that I was nothing to her and that I was to be disrespected, devalued like I don’t exists for absolutely no reason.
For years I have been saying to him this is crazy making. This is exactly how I have been feeling, this is exactly what I have been experiencing, and it has become traumatically, difficult to break the cycle of trauma bonding.
Trauma-bonding is difficult to break, and certainly can be done. It takes clarity, strength, and stick-to-it-iveness, for sure!
Wow, this is my Mom and brother and father. They are all contemptuos. If I tellthem that they way they talk to me is hurtful, they will just respond with even more contempt! It so crazy. But they act like they are the best people ever. What a rabbit hole! I am 47. I always knew my family was disfunctional, but never saw it so clearly for what it is exactly. Thanks for spreading this awareness. It is really life changing. :)
You're so welcome! It IS a revelation when you see the patterns, for sure.
Mother and sister here! I feel for you...
Mother brother and sister too..... Dad was too..... Painful thing was I lost my little sister and it was so traumatic...yet my family turned on me and older sis Manipulated my mother not to see me as she would be....: Jealous '...my mother said if she saw me more than her!!!! Weak enabling mother after I lost my little best friend.
The best gift is knowing there’s a name for this behavior and that we can educate ourselves to respond differently. That was half the battle for me. No more head scratching because they’re predictable, and I’m less offended because it’s really not personal.
I call that look “stink face” I’m glad I’m not alone
You are SO not alone!
The three must haves to be in a healthy adult relationship: Equality, reciprocity and mutuality. The problem with these hijackals is that they often know how to act the part of those traits while simultaneously feeling superior and contemptuous underneath. They may play act the part because they expect to benefit from the relationship at some future date. For example, gold diggers if your parents are wealthy and getting old. It's so important to pay close attention to subtleties, and see the person clearly for who they are.
I agree-my daughter treats me well in front of others and like dirt when we’re alone. I don’t like to be alone with her anymore.
@@beaglerescue5281, Make sure you have witnesses to her behaviour. Avoid being alone with her - a good move on your part. She'll probably notice a change in your behaviour, but that's good. You have all the right to protect yourself.
This is EXACTLY how my adult daughter treats me. I have to get away, permanently....
Mine too
I hear ya - 😢
Where'd she learn it?
My mom and dad and brothers are all narcs 😩 I have some tendencies as well but some have only recently appeared, I guess it feels like when no-one ever has paid attention to or met any of your emotional needs (or worse devalued them and you for having them) you sort of end up apathetic towards and resentful of other people's needs... It's difficult to not be cynical and see people as trying to use you all the time... I used to have so much to give but lately I'm suspicious of anyone who needs anything from me no matter how minor.. I'm WELL aware of how narcissistic this must come accross to others but I'm stuck in trigger land :/ Help?
You're on the right track in your thinking. Good for you.
If you think it's time to get some help to deal with triggers, let's talk. www.beaclient.com
You might have disordered thinking. People with narassistic traits are very insecure and use this state of mind as a coping strategy in my opinion. People think that narcs can't change, but I think they can behavior modify. Usually people think perception is their reality, but I think with proper help - perspective can become reality.
Discover the joy of having contempt for the Narcissist.
Lol! It would be easier if it was a girlfriend or friend, but its hard to really enjoy having contempt for your immediate narccistic family.
Although an understood reaction because coping comes in the form of many faces, an unfortunate backfire of having contempt for the narcissist is that the scars can easily stay. Then without intending, one can display the same characteristics of the abuser but now it is directed at an innocent or "innocent" party. Don't exchange evil for evil, it is a steep price to pay
@@icriedwolves5379 You know this as a fact do you?
@@Pfsif it's just a potential outcome! Of course not always and best case scenario it won't. But also as a potential, it's a fair outcome to know. I've seen a lot of people not anticipate this and then in some unfortunate circumstances, it happens. So I just wanted to share that with you and then whoever happens to read this comment. Maybe it'll help someone stuck against a narcissist one day
These things were in the Bible all along (but hidden by our psychopathic controllers). Too bad we didn''t read the Bible growing up....At best we sat in a pew and let religious hijackals feed us lies.
"Our soul is exceedingly filled With the scorn of those who are at ease, With the contempt of the proud." Psalm 123:4
"Let the lying lips be put to silence, Which speak insolent things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous." Psalm 31:18
Wow well said my friend
Thank you Reese
Proverbs!!!
@@timameye7687Have you read the Bible?
“What has been will be again, what has be done will be done again; there’s nothing new under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 1:9 KJV
@@beaglerescue5281look for thruth within yourself, not from an outside source. be free. create your own ideas. Life is so weird. Albert Camus.
As someone that had a long history of these relationships, got out of the last one 1.25 years ago, and is on the way out of the deep dark forest, this video makes so much more sense now. Yes, I see it exactly how she explains it. This is all perfectly aligned with my experience. So much so, that I was laughing at some of her statements from the congruent validation. If you're in a relationship like this, she speaks the truth. Please, get out. All those hopes, desires, and love you have for each other were slickly implanted by your partner. They're not yours. They aren't who you are because you didn't originate them. Be you. You're likely an awesome person because a hijackal chose you to steal your personality and strengths. Imagine what you could be and do for the world if you were unleashed from a monster. GET. OUT.
PS - You don't owe them anything. They've already taken more than their unfair share. Ethically/morally speaking, you're free to leave ❤
You can still receive some type of help from a friend or family, thinking they really cared, then have them dump you with no explanation or reason. I learned who I can trust and who I can’t trust, I found out the hard way. I understand what you’re saying about this subject. The best decision I made was to ignore and walk away from people who show contempt, act and treat me as I’m insignificant. I have no patience for that kind of behaviour.
My experience so far: 1.) The smirk :when they have to listen to something meaningful and truthful!
2.)Relentless is the word, they can repeat their one demand 100 times in a minute, just so you give up and say ok fine! I’ll do it! This is crazy! I have stopped doing it without fearing if he leaves
3.)NEVER SHARE YOUR PAST/SECRETS with them, they’ll use it against you for sure! They will be sweet while asking audacious questions about your past relationships, even ask how many times you made love to that ex 😅, don’t try to be an honest person to them, be smarter. You don’t have to share every detail just because you’re a loyal person! They will even contempt your past, when they weren’t even there.
4.) show them you don’t fear their abandonment when they go silent / disappear, their tantrums will lay lower than usual.
5.) do not empathize with their bad behavior, show them the consequences of their bad behavior. Don’t accept their fake apologies in a minute.
6.) they don’t care about your health when it comes to their happiness. They will let you take poison pills, if they could fulfill their desire to make love without protection, and have zero remorse!
They are the worst!
My husband just say " you have to listen to me, it can't be 2 capitains in a boot" or he will say " yes we both finished University but, I am the one workig and draging all this baggage", after he poushed me to quit my best job in other to take care of the 5 kids at home.
This exactly my mother! My mother lived and modeled this to her children. I have keep falling prey to individuals who are ‘hyjackyls.’ It is CONTEMPT!!! I never could name this until seeing this video!
Wow, just wow! My eyes nearly popped out of my head when you said contempt shows up as racist. My daughter is part NZ maori and does not recognise any part of her European heritage. I have always felt that she is ashamed that I am non-maori and that is one of the problems between us. This podcast was a real eye opener, thank you.
Once I was going to do something with some " friends, " and the group canceled our plans so I was very disappointed that our group of "friends" had decided without me that none of them were going to something we had previously agreed on. When I expressed my disappointment I saw the smirk you described...I will never forget that. My disappointment was her pleasure...
I clean and one of my clients is a classic narc. She had me 3 times a week and literally wanted me to do ALL her hpusechores.. i cant really stand working for her and recently cut out one day... One day we were talking about jewelry and she said." YOUR mother had nice jewelry"? She just rubs me wrong all the time.. im not new to all this..by a long stretch. Thanks for this video. Blessings everyone.
I hope you can soon replace the income from her and not have to face that each week.
Felt this all my life from narcs, it confuses me and I am left, with I cannot believe they did this. It is a very important topic. I get this from my narc mother and my neighbours. I would understand it if I did something bad to them, but it often happens a lot when I challenge their wrong doing ie them blocking my driveway. They devalue my feelings and gaslight. They may even say sorry but they don't do anything to rectify it. I have also been in the workplace where colleagues don't talk to me, but they talked to someone else who was in the exactly same position as me, they treat me differently I have noticed in shops where shop keepers are talkative and friendly to other people, but not cold to me. Sometimes I think it can be because you are an invisible older person and are worthless to them . A colleague who gave the silent treatment unless he wanted something, I used to hear him 'tut' Excellent video, you are so right, it is madness. Glad I have the word for this selfish craziness #'england
Hi,
People who are dismissive, or ones who are patronizing to your face and do whatever they want following, are a sad lot. However, the result of their behavior can leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and unaccepted. Not good!
Do you speak up?
Rhoberta
Ok ok a&&¡0&&°&@$?? Bb to do it p
And you can just simply see things differently, have a different point of view and the cycle begins without you even knowing you did anything to set i off.
@@izi.z2384 Treating you like sh!t and expecting you to give them the highest level of respect and love
Never ever ever admitting to being wrong. This includes apologizing for anything.
Be prepared to be blamed by society for protecting yourself. Understand this: anything you do will be wrong. Some of it is downright astonishing. But nothing you say or do will change things.
Validation is the elusive Gift you will never receive with a Malignant Narc. Their Love is conditional. Their Hate is Unconditional.
The eye opener for me was your video on Micro Aggression. What a horrible way to treat someone.
I like to say that this stuff does not discriminate, that’s for sure.
I agree . All of them are USERS !!!
Many hijackels are in politics and other institutions. Such contempt for the regular person is mind boggling.
It doesn't feel. It doesn't tire, or have empathy. It doesn't feel remorse or second guess itself, it won't hesitate to trample anything good that makes you unique or freedom from it. It needs and feeds off of your light, your empathy, your goodness, your nurturing nature. If you don't practice putting yourself first and self care, IT will be the death of you....
My husband said the same thing about my narc daughter
Thank you 🖤🙏🏻
I'm so exhausted and depressed. I've been married since I was 18 so now 23 yrs and I've become so controlled and dependant on him that I feel hopeless & stuck. I've been sleeping in the living room for the past 3 years on a futon. No intimacy for the past 4 yrs at all because I have no desire to be around or close to someone so nasty to me. We both have been on methadone and we have no insurance so it costs us 400 a month for each of us. So 800 a month. And that's another thing that makes it hard to leave. I want nothing more than to leave him in the dust but it just isn't that easy. And I have no one else in this world but him which makes it all feel so impossible.
That sounds difficult! Are you dependent on him for the funds to pay for the methadone, or can you handle that on your own?
@@ForRelationshipHelp
At the moment I can't do it on my own. But I'm trying to change that.
Pray to Jesus. Be humble and bow your knees and head. Cry out to the Savior of the world for help. I promise you. He will help. And when he does be sure to thank him and tell others what he did for you. Finish your prayer by saying “In the name and power of Jesus I pray this prayer.”
It has taken 20 plus years and two awful relationships to learn this but I’m done with walking on eggshells. I am getting out but it is taking more time than I expected. Currently he is threatening to throw my belongings away and punish me for standing up for myself and child.
This hit home for me. Thank you Dr. Shaler.
Wow! Hijackal - I never knew such a distinct situation was defined! This is very true! So helpful... 💕🙏 so painful.
Those slight disrespectful remarks are one way Narcissists use to put us down and if you call them on it they will say “ it was just a joke “. You have no sense of humor you take everything to heart.
I despise the "it was a joke."
I say "jokes are supposed to be funny, aren't they?"
This week my hyjackle frienemy is going to find out our weekly art day at my house won’t happen anymore.
The smirk. Yes. And people outside the family. Thank you for sharing this valuable info in order to disentangle from it. It is insidious and consuming and requires help to dismantle the impact.
I am still confused as to how things got to where they did… I hope I was fed lies for years, or I am even crazier than I already think I am. Crazy making is for real. The more you suffer the happier they are. Even when you are separated. They will find away.
Sadly, you're right: they feel they've "won" when you are suffering. Things get to these more dire situations by slowly turning up the heat. Most #Hijackals do that. Some, of course, are nasty from the moment they "get you!" Most disappoint you, put you down, deceive, betray, and manipulate more and more over time. Sad, for sure.
14:41 exactly no space, no expression, no breath, exclusion. Thank you for the vocabulary.
My mother is a covert narc snd my father is a gaslighting enabler . My brother and sister have always been indifferent but when I reached out to tell them of the life changing abuse I had experienced at the hands of my parents my sister completely ignored me. She had always treated me with contempt but this was the final straw. I have removed myself completely from their toxic system and I'm slowly healing but stopping the relationship with my sister was the easiest as I'd only ever felt her contempt and indifference and these are not things that we ever miss. There was literally nothing to miss about this person . Life just became more positive and I felt less worthless.
Good for you for moving away from abuse, and recognizing the relationships for what they are.
Same. Narc older sister for years who my narc parents never disciplined
😅@@franceshaggitt3104
Thank you for connecting racism and narcism - cousins - close ones
Thank you for pointing out that narcissism and contempt are the to low of systemic racism. Goddess Bless
You're welcome.
Our true self is in the cavity of our heart. We intuitively know who we are and it’s not the ego based person. The Narcissist denies their true self.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING I NEEDED THIS.I WAS TREATED CRUELY BY THE NARCISSITS HE WOULD BELITTLE ME CRUELY HE WOULD TORTURE ME DURNING TEXTING THIS PERSON HAS DESTROYED MY SELF WORTH AND SELF ESTEEM.
You are so welcome! I hope you are well away from him now, and getting specialized help to recover from narcissistic abuse.
BeAClient.com if you want more help to build your self-worth, self-esteem, and strong boundaries for future freedom. I wish you well.
9:48 When you experience this power move and have the label placed on you for initiating the contempt. When you try to disengage and the miasma follows you. When you are kind and the karma label doesn’t connect with continual respect and kindness. How to save kindness when you are connecting with this element? As time moves along there are so many cumulative experiences of this in and out of the family, it’s off to self-employment and pastoral life.
Wow! I am glad I found your channel. Thank you.
Wow. Grew up with special needs brother. This video explains it all. Thank you for your amazing knowledge. You've helped my family through me more than I can ever say.
What happened to me was I got love and admiration to my face, but even the very next day, I would hear that he would be talking horrible about me to others. It was crazy. When I went no contact for 2 years, he then began to post nasty comments about me. Insane. It's been 1 year now without hearing anything. Thank God
This is important information. When I met severe concept and the other Four Horsemen with a woman, I was attempting to hold her to account for her actions in the community that we both attended. She refused to discuss with me and then went down-hill and started to take revenge rather than take my offers to communicate.
I had so many smirks. I was treated with such contempt for 17 years. It destroyed me. I was nothing when I left.
This brings back so many fine childhood memories. 🤦🏻♀️
He allways remind me (walking after me, by my back ), "hey...if you did not go to school, it would be dangerous for humanity"!
Just WOW!! Thank you Dr.Rhoberta.....well explained and in detail. I had a childhood friend with this behavior and it is really challenging to deal with him. I experience those terrible feelings.
I admire your presentation Dr!!!
Dr thank you for blessing us ❤😂
I am sooo thankful to have seen this video!
Excellent video, thank you.
You're welcome.
I really wish I knew how to do that so I could throw that contempt back at him and his behavior ,
Diane, I think you don't want to be like him, right? So, you want to do what's healthiest for you which is not to be like him.
My mother doesn't smirk, she makes a scoffing sound. That's her way of dismissing any truth that I dare speak.
You are amazing!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼thank you for your inspiring podcast A+ educational video. Contempt
You are so welcome!
Thanks!
Thank you kindly, Dr Schaler
hijackal ahdddd damn i love it!
i pretty good in psychology but that is a first.... ill be using that a bit more! txs good video
Moving the markers..yes!!!! It's most frustrating
Frustrating, infuriating, defeating, and just plain nasty and sad!
Thank you I never knew the word to it; contemptuous. 😇
You are so welcome
I have no idea why this is happening to me. I am 60 tears old and I am totally broken and find myself absolutely out of sorts.
Thank you for this
You're welcome!
oh this smirk is terrifying, it feels physical
I've a relative who is NARISSISTIC right to the core. she's been that way with me for over 40 years. I've walked away emotionally as her verbal abusecwas almost demonic. I'm happier. she is toxic to me excludes me from the family & tries to control me. to me she is really ill & needs help, I rarely if ever to talk to her, but am onto to her 110% ,& she thinks I don't know, too bad for her. I'm at peace
You just described my neighbors next door. Sad part about it is they feed off the drama and get supply from being involved in the HOA in our small 23 unit complex. They have left a trail of broken relationships and turned many of us away from participation in the process as we just don't want to have to interact with or deal with them.
Narcissic neighbors can cause tremendous harm. Amazing how you aren't safe from it on your own premises.
Just love you. I cried.
Both of my parents are narcissists. They have turned my son against me because they can not stand not being the center of anyone's world. Its all about them and what suits them. Theybonly care about my well being when it benefits them if it doesn't then indont exist. Even my son gave me that hijackle smirk the other day. It terrified me like nothing has ever scared me in my life.
I’m new here thank you 🙏🏽
VAINQUEUR: Please be strong. You can get through it.
Could a daughter be a hijackal?
I get exactly that from Thing One and Thing Two 😳
Yes, saw it from a brother and my daughter.
I'm being accused of being the narcissist now for finally standing up and exposing someone who has been has been badgering away at me and using me for over 40 years.
I was one of those booksmart nerds, and and they had plenty of street smarts.
If you ever get in a place where you are relatively safe physically and mentally, there's no reason not to expose them if doing so corrects many wrongs.
Could even save lives. In this case, it was someone I assisted in fraudulently getting into a lower ranked medical school. Every one was stunned when they actually graduated.
Sadly they proved immediately that they still lack basic knowledge of human biology.
I'm ashamed, but this person caught me at a particularly bad time and had me right there medical school admission SA, they had dropped out of high school to earn the alternative certification later and barely pulled a gentleman's C at undergrad.
That and padded references with money changing hands...
It would rival the University celebrity bribery scandal.
And this is what is wrong with our medical system here in the US and that would include the mental health care professions as well.
That look though . ?? The look turns you on . It's the Clint Eastwood effect .
I had a job like this in another state. I got sick and was off for a week was ready to get back to work to make money and help at the store. When I got back still not feeling to good but had to go back to work because I was staying at a hotel and it was time to get out. So I went back to work. I was then told I messed up on the register and a I know I didn't then they told me that it must have been because I was not feeling well and came back to work early was still sick but I know that wasn't the case. Then I realized while the customers was always love bombing me yet the drama, stress and games was not good for my mental health and I was depressed and I know I didn't belong and I just wanted to try something other that job. It's not about what those people say because me working there it's the fact that the games they played and then would try to manipulate like this is the place where it was going to come together and I was more concerned about my mental health and the games they was playing and it wasn't even worth the money I was making in the first place. More importantly my absence in that place didn't matter but my existence elsewhere and getting on my feet and trying to live a normal functional life paying my bills and having a place to call home of my own with the work of my hands is normal.
My dad is old and he's been so cruel and contemptuous. Angie keep trying to explain things. To no avail..He does it appreciate how much adversity I've had and how I have overcome so much. It's like you said. They want you to.fail. Why would a dad want that? Then my ex when I was giving birth said I got an epidural so he wasted his time in. Lamaze and left me alone
And I* auto
Wow I always thought it was HydeJeckyls!
"A Rose by Any Other Name....".
Narcissist or Hijackal?
Yes, I create the term, Hijackal, so that people would not use clinical diagnostic terms for others. Hijackals may have the traits of those who are passive-aggressive, narcissistic, borderline, sociopathic, histrionic, or psychopathic....sadly.
@@ForRelationshipHelp I find it a relievably more direct term to describe that wider range of symptoms that didn't seem too clinical to me, but somehow didn't hit the mark before to someone like myself who is getting themselves out of semi torture of the years and getting out of friendships, romantic relationship, and family situations all at once one by one try not to do it.. but putting up the boundaries.. haha, just as a voice down, I'm not allowed to say supposedly so I need to take myself out of the equation once and for all!
To be honest... I've no time for people at all... You want a good friend.. Keep with your dog... They are more important...
she also denies she has ever said NASTY things. to me her insincere friendship had always been a LIE. she badmouths me to others. so they don't want to talk to me. & she isolates me from family &;special occasions. it's horrible. but I'm dead to her
When I had a baby my ex got angry that I got an epidural. He left because said I wasted his time. I get everything
i think i have narcissistic contempt towards my mother
I'm HATE MY MOM HERE, so don't ask me. I'm from a nuclear family and my mom started all this BULLSHIT, and I'm 48 and she's hopefully dead at 79.
That's right. I really feel this.
Nasty, isn't it?
Yep . Stand on my head...with err Sorry , I am British ..But I have just found tou and you are resonating vor me .
If I'm honest I've displayed narcissistic traits and empath traits throughout my life. Is the line between narcissism and empathy right down the middle of each one of us as opposed to 2 groups of people types??? Us and them so to speak?
If you have narcassistic traits it's more likely that you have what is called "cold empathy".
What about two narcissist together trying to be better together 😅
Do you have any videos for highjackals who want to recover from this behavior?
No, I don't.
Hijackals often say they want to recover so that you won't leave them. Ones who really want to recover go to very specialized therapy with me, and are prepared to do that for a long time.
@@ForRelationshipHelp thank you for the information! That is very interesting.
I have felt resentment but I've never experienced feeling contempt. Is that normal? To have never felt that emotion?
Why is it the most malignant narcissists at a given moment give you a weird smile. It is not like any other smile you can describe it is a smile completely out of context. Can you elaborate further? And yes it is a smirk.
It is a combination of anger and disdain, an exhibition of superiority, a "gotcha"! They think they are the smartest person in any room and that they can pull the wool over the eyes of everyone. It's such a telltale sign of Hijackals.
@@ForRelationshipHelp I just discovered your channel and I love this "hijackle" term. What a way of encapsulating a paragraph! I need a word like this because I've tried all the other ones like codependent or narcissist, blah blah blah. Basically, "hijackle" covers it all
12:00 "People do not want to believe according to a study that their partners are contemptuous." I can't believe I'm quoting you now because it's all unfolding from minute zero one second, but this is my experience! No one talks about feeling contempted for because it doesn't sound too cool exactly. This is a relief to hear this. I just discarded a friendship where I felt a cop proof that someone was exactly using the c word that has nothing to do with female parts. but now the final escape from a ex-girlfriend who's trying to insincerely Hoover me yet put on a nice face.. but the contempt word is a million dollar word that I am sensing and actually used that word in a few forms on occasion because she was chasing me, not face versa. She's just trying to use me so she can get in drug money. Easy for me, I'm 48, turn it off drugs, but could not move on from her hanging around because I recently get rid of that best friend lately out in this part of the country. Thank you so much for this video! I hope I can ingest it and live happily ever after but there's no more time for messing around with another round of half or quarter half of faith in a contemptuous person only then go through that cycle and have them fake kiss my ass
Duper's delight
Start at 2:25
Thank you for stating this and explaining it❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon