A Muslim Woman's Guide to Divorce | Saadia Khan
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ต.ค. 2022
- If you're considering divorce, what resources are available to help you figure out what to do? Should you consult a lawyer? Leave the marital home? What if you aren't financially dependent, and your family and friends aren't supportive of your decision? How can you protect your children's wellbeing during this tumultuous time, and will you eventually find happiness and peace? Saadia Khan has a Master's degree in Education and is a certified educator, certified life coach and founder of StrongMuslimah_lifecoach, which provides faith-based coaching for Muslim women. Saadia founded a divorce support group for women while undergoing a divorce herself, and in this video, she offers valuable advice about how to move forward.
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Asalamu alaikum as a father to a daughter I appreciate this video because no matter how perfect our Deen is we humans are not and divorce is a reason why it is allowed in our Deen. May Allah bless you sister
God help those who go through this tough decision. Great what this young lady does for the community
Thank you. Please remember me in your dua.
Most of the negative comments towards this subject are Muslim men who are extremely fanatics. Woman have their RIGHT to decide what is BEST for their lives and especially for safety reasons. I’m a Muslim Man and I follow the Quran and the Sunnah to the T, but I’m also open minded and flexible when it comes to Women’s Right! If a Muslima feels and realizes that all of her efforts and sacrifices has been in vain, and her husband continues to be an arrogant fool and immature and especially abusive then Yes, she has The Right to move forward and make that decision with the help of Allah swt and with the assistance of the Ummah…….
Fanatics and insecure men I know Muslim women in their marriage what they go through. Better to be divorced then being emotionally and spiritually
abused.
Well said, my brother!
@Danny Al you know nothing about me or my work. 75% of my clients are married and we work on building better stronger marriages. Astaghfurallah to every one of your comments.
@Danny Al it's not like she was born into this job. She provides a service that is in high demand because she understands this process having gone through it herself and as a Muslim she is one of the best advocates a Muslim woman can have. She's obviously very thoughtful and educated. She could have any job. She clearly does this to help people.
@Danny Al you are literally making up fantastical things about someone you don't even know. Don't you even care about the Quran? Or is Islam just a political identity to you? Because you are doing things we are told not to do, while this sister is doing what we are told to do.
Omg She taught me in grade 7. Al Salam Alaykom sister saadia this is Layla do you remember me
Indeed I do! Hope you're well. :)
The reality is that people don't choose divorce lightly. It's difficult to navigate this decision whether husband or wife. Our lives are complex. The guidance of the Quraan is not to block the path, but to make it fair and balanced. This is the part our community don't want to deal with. We don't want to help, but we're happy to make things worse by attacking and shaming the people who do.
Thats not true at all. People take it lightly
But women like these wait for their husbands to loose their job so that they can hit on smarter and richer men.
maybe in the past but these days people treat it as a joke
And you are
Love this channel. 👍👍
Sorry but where is Quran speaking in this video? Agreed a good lawyer is a perquisite for a divorce but the lady here doesn’t also seem to be a lawyer to give any sort of professional advise on the legal process and the fine print. So net net, I was hoping to hear something from an Islamic and Quran perspective.
A lot of injustices happen to women in our culture in a divorce; that should be corrected. The mistake would be to go the other extreme, which is committing injustices towards men. The matter of money shouldn't be left until a divorce happen. The matter should be discussed even before the marriage starts. Both spouses should agree on money and careers and they should put that in writing; otherwise, it's never fair for the two of them no matter how hard they try to make it so.
True, also now happening to husbands due to laws
Mashallah tabarak Allah this woman was spot on with everything she said. May Allah forgive her and guide her and comfort her.
I’ve watched my mother sacrifice her health and wellness to try and make my father happy. He is regularly cruel to her, emotionally and verbally. My poor mother is without recourse. Am I to watch her grow old and be mistreated until death?! I am exhausted by the Muslim ummah and our leaders. Look at the comments here. We are lost.
She's completely right about the stages of divorce! Bang on right on that!
However she should have gone into a bit more detail on why one should consider it or not.
Getting a divorce both religiously and legally is almost impossible. I know someone who wasn’t given a Khula for almost ten years. The imams go slow and don’t want to do anything. They won’t even answer my calls or emails. If he won’t give you talaq then we are pretty much alone and without resources. May Allah help us!!!! And this is all with husbands who were arrested for the abuse against us!!!
What kind of abuse? If a husband consistently hit his wife then she can leave the house. No one is going to tie her up with him in the same house. If he dislikes his wife leaving him then he will stop hitting. Bring the wali to consult the husband.
True.
@@NazZ475Do you think it's that easy ? If only.
@@NazZ475both wrong !muslim woman is not allowed to leave the house without his husband permission and husband is allowed to beat his wife until she obeys!plus woman has no right to get divorce!this is man's right!
Khula is women's right in Islam but some people don't want us to know our rights sis u can watch engeenier Muhammad Ali Mirza vedio on this topic. Hope u will get true guidance ❤
Slaam alaikum I wanted to ask a question about divorce as I recently got married after marriage me and my wife had an argument and I said to her let's have a divorce then she said divorce me and give me talaq. So does this count as divorce just by us arguing and talking about it but I never said talaq 3 times or divorce 3 times either is my marriage still valid because I heard someone say if you utter talaq or divorce you once it's over could you give me some advise as I'm really worried just want my marriage to stay valid thanks.
Waalekum assalaam bhai, your nikah is still valid if you have not said TALAQ with the intention of divorcing her.
Talking about it isnt same as divorcing.
Also I suggest you consult a mufti for this type of discussion or follow some scholar on youtube.
May Allah swt make it easy for yu akhi
Thank you
Shouldn't we be looking at the provisions of the sharia in dealing with this matter and not the Canadian legal system? Is the Canadian legal system better or more effective than sharia in modern times?
A lot of people turn a blind eye to this.
The word opposite to Islam is Kafir's reference to the defect of the so-called infidels, and when the defect becomes opportunity or neutrality the so-called infidels immediately associate themselves with Islam. According to the philosophy Kafir has nothing to do with Islam itself, it contains facts and values, so the Qur 'an is descended for the salvation of mankind. as David Hume said chance or neutrality caused by flaws has nothing to do with the thing itself. Thanks to the great philosopher who shook Europe for 300 years and laid the foundation of Europe. Praise Allah for allowing Muslims to once again witness the great Qur'an that He sent down with the goal of saving mankind.
The sister thinks about marriage and divorce like a business transaction. Islam made marriage and divorce very simple. We don't have to think about it like strategy, project,.... and all the terms she threw.
Important topic. Well done. Will you be showing advice from a male perspective?
The Quran speaks on what should be done by men.
"When you divorce women and they have almost reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or let them go honourably. But do not retain them only to harm them or to take advantage of them. Whoever does that surely wrongs his own soul. Do not take Allah’s revelations lightly. Remember Allah’s favours upon you as well as the Book and wisdom He has sent down for your guidance. Be mindful of Allah, and know that Allah has perfect knowledge of all things." [2:231]
"O Prophet! Instruct the believers: When you intend to divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period, and count it accurately. And fear Allah, your Lord. Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave-unless they commit blatant misconduct. These are the limits set by Allah. And whoever transgresses Allah’s limits has truly wronged his own soul. You never know, perhaps Allah will bring about a change of heart later." [65:1]
What if the muslim woman doesnt feel the same love anymore that she felt when she got married to her spouse?can that be a valid reason reason for a divorce?
Of course not
Yes you can leave love is important work on it, but if no effort you make decision
@@M_A_R_K_23 what do you think does the same apply to man? Can he divorce his wife if he doesn't feel the same loven anyomre?
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu!
The content of this video is very informative. Divorce is so ugly and there is no real winner. However, the real losers in divorce are always the kids. They are the victims of the decisions made by the parents.
It is awesome to see a platform for Muslims to talk about such delicate matters such as divorce. I hope there is a part 2, 3 and so on for this specific topic. It’s a big subject that is not always addressed properly in our local mosques for either party.
We need more specifics on this topic. I do not mean what this sister experienced exactly, but real examples of toxicity to see if something warrants a divorce. Not infidelity, that’s been discussed so much, but other issues such as family, money, work to life balance etc.
I would love to see a man’s position as it was done for this sister. I think that’s fair. There are a lot of broken men that are afraid to open up for many reasons.
This is exactly what our communities need. An open channel such as this one where we can all grow together. Keep up the great work! May Allah (SWT) bless everyone involved with the work being done on this channel.
❤
I am harunur Rashid and muslim. Really I love you madam saadia and America
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah. I am the speaker in this video and I would like to clarify some things.
First of all, for everyone who thinks it's OK to talk badly about someone just because you're on a TH-cam comments page, thank you for your good deeds! I encourage you to look up the rules/consequences of backbiting in our religion.
Secondly, just because I focus on women here does not mean good men don't exist, that men are always the problem or that men don't go through manipulation and pain. Of course they do! May Allah Protect both men and women. Ameen. I know of many good Muslim men and further to that, sometimes two good people are better off divorced. This doesn't mean they are bad people. It means they are incompatible. If you don't believe me, please feel free to read more about this in the seerah of our beloved Prophet sas.
Third, the women I talk to are NOT simply ending a good marriage because they enjoy divorce or because they're men-hating feminists. Maybe those women exist but I don't know a single one. This video is about women who have tried everything, exhausted every option, sought help for years and still feel unfulfilled in their marriages because some basic right is being unfulfilled or they are suffering some kind of perpetual injustice/oppression and being patient is no longer working. If your rights are not being fulfilled in Islam, Allah (swt) Himself gives you the option to seek divorce. If you are being abused, you have every right to leave. In Islam, people have rights. If a man is not fulfilling your rights as a husband or he is creating a situation where you fear you cannot fulfil his rights or you don't enjoy basic protection, you have the right to seek divorce. This is in the Qur'an. This is also clear from the sunnah of the Prophet (sas). This doesn't make me pro-divorce or encouraging divorce either. I will always be pro-marriage and am happily remarried alhamdolillah. But why do we try to make something haram which Allah swt Himself has allowed? Our religion does not teach perpetual suffering. Women are not expected to endure neverending abuse or neglect, or forego their rights to basic provision or protection "for the sake of Allah." If you think this, you haven't understood our religion.
Finally, laws vary from region to region and from time to time. Laws are an interpretation. This is why there is no universal legal framework for divorce in Islam. There are guidelines in the Qur'an and sunnah, but the specific rules vary by region and by situation. Your local reality may advise something totally different from the ideas I've conveyed here. And that's ok! I cannot speak to all this complexity in a 15 min interview. You have to consult your local laws to figure out what makes sense in your situation. However, the Qur'an DOES emphasize ethical behaviour and advises generosity & wanting good for the other person. So while we women have rights and one of them is the right to financial support for the children so they don't have to suffer just because the marriage didn't work, this is not meant to punish or create undue hardship on former husbands. That would be wrong and incur the displeasure of Allah swt. And if anyone thinks I would ever advise that, you don't know me.
I hope that clarifies. Please let me know if you have any other questions. If you'd like a more comprehensive understanding of my work, feel free to follow me on Instagram, @strongmuslimah_lifecoach. You can also DM me although please be advised, abusive messages will be immediately blocked & reported.
I am not a scholar or a lawyer, nor do I pretend to be. May Allah (swt) Reward us for our small efforts and Forgive us for our shortcomings. May He ease the hardships of anyone reading this and Help us to remember Him in all aspects of our lives. Ameen.
Thank you for the clarification :) Jasakallah khair
wa alaykum asalam. Don't take religious criticism as bullying. The most important thing is to ask your scholars and imams because we're both neither lawyers nor scholars.
However, I've asked several scholars, Imams and leaders (in private) about divorce theft, stealing assets due to secular laws, and they've told me they're either unsure or its absolutely haram. The Darul Al-Iftaas of several countries, to include Egypt, etc. have ruled that isn't how divorce should go religiously and using the state to steal a ex-spouses assets is haram. That was the only point of criticism I made.
This is important because it negatively impacts the Ummah. Since 2013, 2016, 2018, 2019, even two months ago in 2022 (on youtube nonetheless), Al Magrib Institute, ICNA, InterFaith Studies, even Salams (the "marriage" app) have spoken out about the muslim marriage crisis.
They've all said muslim men don't want to marry western muslims and opt for foreign muslim women. They, and even Salams, say that muslim men don't want to marry divorced women. This is one of _several_ serious issues that aren't being addressed _publicly_ by religious leaders as to why this is. You're a religious leader on this channel, so I wanted to point out the unreligious, callous, unfair and sexist nature of your statement in your video.
@@alextrebek5237 when you use language like "shameful theft" you seem like you're being confrontational. I'm always open to discussion and normally wouldn't confuse a difference of opinion with bullying. Your tone here is very different than your original comment. Still, we will have to agree to disagree. Divorce laws vary depending on where you are and what appears to be "theft" to one person will be another person's very modest "I'm securing the bare minimum my children need to survive." And Allah Knows best.
@@alextrebek5237 as for your other comment about the marriage prospects of divorced or Western women, I'm not sure how to respond. Everyone should marry someone with whom they feel compatible. If you don't like Western raised and/or educated women, don't marry one. As for divorced women, because there was little stigma around divorce in the early years of Islam, Muslim women would regularly and easily find a suitable match post-divorce. Because we now have so much cultural baggage and stigma we associate with divorce, such women don't receive proposals. This often says more about the men in our community then it does about the women. I'm not sure what the talks you're referring to were suggesting but I'm positive none of those organizations would advise women to stay in toxic or abusive marriages. Peace.
Assalamu alaikum @Saadia Khan, I went back and forth on whether I should share my thoughts. This is a charged topic and there are so many misgivings between the genders. I was debating whether it is worth it. Whatever I say as a male will elicit backlash, more than anything else. As a female, you probably have the opposite experience.
Nevertheless, humbly and respectfully:
I want to avoid coming across as contentious as much as possible. So, I'll bring only a few points to your attention:
1. The entire presentation is female-centric. There are implications to this, whether intentional or not. Divorce is difficult for both genders. In female spaces, you'll hear about the ordeals fellow females go through. In male spaces, we hear about the brutal treatment meted out to fellow males.
2. In male spaces, we hear about how males are put through the grinder:
a. by the justice system, where the laws are stacked against males,
b. by lawyers whose vested interest lies not in being "your, the female's, advocate", but in billable hours and in the final amount awarded to the female,
c. by the sundry agencies, whether it is law enforcement, child services, all of whom believe females but take suspiciously anything that the male says, regardless of the weight of the proof.
3. Therefore, it was troubling that in your presentation you mentioned - almost right out of the gate - Canadian (Western) law, but there was no mention of Allah's law.
Aslm, what happen if a wife leave her house without the husband even know.
“Let the Canadian Law speak”
Thanks for saying that- one should be able to tell on the day of judgement that she tried everything still it didn’t work.
When a women was married according to islamic law .When she get divorce through civil court in us. Can she reconcile with her husband after the divorce?
No. Because he signed divorce papers
Ask a mufti ...
Is a muslim marriage in an Asian country get a valid divorce in Australian court?
There is a set criteria for khula , if it’s not meet then a women can not take divorce.
Question: if a husband or wife is no longer sexually attracted to each others, and one side doesn't want to stay married, isn't it better to get divorced? Nobody wants loveless marriage
Why they are not attracted to each other anymore? They probably need to stop looking at non maharrams outside and on media.
@@NazZ475
There were some issues in the past, if both hurt each other, and one is no longer intrested in another, or outsider is in her mind, then in that case, its better to depart a part & look for someone who values each other.
@@aryanjan2736 Divorce is a very serious matter. The way we feel always keep on changing because it’s just feelings of our hearts. The couple can bring their fathers or senior family members and talk about their particular situation with a people of knowledge or sheikh who studied under salafi scholars. He/she cannot have someone in their mind if they are lowering their gaze. This is definitely not a valid reason for divorce but if they are verbally/emotionally abusive to each other or don’t have physical capability to fulfill each other’s rights which I heard also includes looks then there might be permissibility. But again they need a fair mediator who can speak with them to figure out each other’s shortcomings with the intention to resolve it. May be the husband and wife first try to please each other and look at each other’s faults. We are humans not angels and we can work on ourselves to become a better spouse and parent with the help of Allah subhanuwata’ala. They should make a lot of Du’a for themselves and for each other.
@@NazZ475
Thank you. None of them is verbally or physically abusive towards each other. The guy is a hardworking man, who doesn't smoke neither does he drink. He's a good man.
@@NazZ475actually it is a valid reason for divorce
Basically what happened was me and my wife got in to an argument I said to her let's do a divorce then she said okay give me divorce talaq then we both said okay then. But I didnt utter talaq or divorce you 3 times or I'm leaving her only said let's divorce after that we said sorry to eachother and started talking that day making up she wasnt on her menses at the time then we had intercourse which we both took eachother back. Someone said in the Quran it says if you divorce your wife you have a chance to reconcile get her back by sorting it out not sure exactly what Quran says or hadith on my situation which looks like a hard one to give answer to just want to know out of all this argument situation my marriage still valid even though we made up straight away that same time.
You're not divorced since you didn't issue TALAQ. You just spoke about out of anger. Talking about TALAQ and giving direct TALAQ without being under pressure or duress, is not considered TALAQ AT ALL. Especially when you and your wife reconciled and became intimate....So don't stress out about it... Next time when you get angry just step outside and cool off your anger..but never ever talk about TALAQ....
what are the ways to get divorced have a valid divorce?
Thank you for this video. Its such an important topic. Can we get a more in-depth/longer talk? It does sound like this is mainly helping women with divorces with the assumption that they are in a situation of victimhood. It is important, can we also get something that covers other bases of divorce? Perhaps when a female can be wrong? or how a man should go ahead with a divorce?
Please see my response above. JAk.
Where is the Quran speaking here? I just hear what she did in her divorce & want other women to do the same as a Canadian.. what about as a Muslim?
What if tomorrow, Saudi Arabia could change it's laws by introducing pubs and massage centres. Will you justify it by saying that Saudi Arabia is just modernizing like the west?. You either take money from the husband before or after the marriage. You can't use your husband like a lottery machine.
👍👍👍👍
9:00
Is someone there to save us from getting seperated??? Who can guide us and explain to us what is the role of husband and wife plz reply me and i will contact you where you want ofcours....thank you
Narrated Ibn 'Umar (RA):
The divorce of a slave-woman occurs by saying it (the divorce word) twice, and her 'Iddah (waiting period) is two menses. [Reported by ad-Daraqutni].
Book 8, Hadith 177
English translation : Book 8, Hadith 1125
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar:
A woman was my wife and I loved her, but Umar hated her. He said to me: Divorce her, but I refused. Umar then went to the Prophet (ﷺ) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: Divorce her.
Grade: Sahih (Al-Albani) صحيح (الألباني) حكم
Narrated Thawban:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.
Grade: Sahih (Al-Albani) صحيح (الألباني) حكم :
Reference : Sunan Abi Dawud 2226
"When you divorce women and they have almost reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or let them go honourably. But do not retain them only to harm them or to take advantage of them. Whoever does that surely wrongs his own soul. Do not take Allah’s revelations lightly. Remember Allah’s favours upon you as well as the Book and wisdom He has sent down for your guidance. Be mindful of Allah, and know that Allah has perfect knowledge of all things." [2:231]
"O Prophet! Instruct the believers: When you intend to divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period, and count it accurately. And fear Allah, your Lord. Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave-unless they commit blatant misconduct. These are the limits set by Allah. And whoever transgresses Allah’s limits has truly wronged his own soul. You never know, perhaps Allah will bring about a change of heart later. [65:1]
@@MitchJohnson0110 this verse PROVES that three talaqs are THREE. The nikah is broken with ONE talaq.
This was the best video.
You know that's something that was not mention here. And I understand you know you can cover everything. You know even in religion no matter which one it is. Some woman's they feel they are educated in their would like to practice and work. But now Many religious people are fanatic and they don't wonder woman to work at all to just take care of the kids you know we live in a society where things are changing excuse the language but we don't live in the Stone Age
You are the stone age. Any woman who works all day and then comes homes to work AGAIN is a SLAVE.
Jus don't get married
Hi! Can a Muslim divorced woman ask her ex- husband to marry her again?
If they are irrevocably divorced, then she will no longer be permissable to her ex husband.
However, if she happened to meet and marry another man, they become husband and wife, are sxexually intimate with each other, and later in life for whatever reason he too divorced her, then she is allowed to marry her first ex husband again.
But she is not allowed to plan or premeditate this as in marrying a man for the purpose of getting divorced so she can marry her first ex husband again.
Where is the Islamic perspective or advise in this?
Iman/Islam/Ihsan
This topic requires a far greater conversation between the general Muslim jurists, spiritual leaders etc and applying it to western modern world.
Agree. Please see more in my response above
I agree. We don’t need bad influences like Saadia when our sisters are already misguided by the liberalism and feminism in the world.
@@TheMrpalid how easy to say this about someone without understanding anything about their work or intentions.
@@TheMrpalid why? Do you want women to suffer in domestic violence?
@@Nevebrowniewho said that?
Yeah this is 🗑 good luck. Please please people go to a local scholar or your community Imam.
How is adultery treated in Islamic family court? Can adulteresses financially devastate men like in the West?
Canadian legal system doesn’t prevail over the shariah process. A civil union is very different from an Islamic marriage contract. Shaitan also has a huge hand in pushing people to divorce.
only quran no bakharis hadiht
A women needs a good lawyer.
Your statement reminds of a wounded bird trying desperately taking off with one wing. NO WAY
I am in a trapped marriage for many years my husband won’t divorce me. he told me if i leave him he will commit suicide 😢
Why u want to leave him ? For the sake of God don't abandon him.
That's emotional manipulation and if he does, call the police or ambulance and tell them about it so they can check up on him. You don't deserve to be manipulated like that and if he is suffering, he needs professional help
@@maryiamhussain6415 why are u encouraging her !? Lots of men commit suicide because of wife. Its not a joke.
@@sorais8130well for one he seems unstable and needs to seek help, she has the right to leave a marriage she doesn’t want to be in
Let him commit suicide. WHO THE HELL CARES.
im shocked by the way this lady is being treated on this comments. did youppl even watch the video or listen to anything? She said it's a last resort. Some women get abused !!! shoud they just get beat everyday and be happy? Such rude comments from men who think they are defending islam but only showing there tru colours! men have to support they're children, of course! u don't respect Allah or women !!! fear Allah
Why is it always seen as the woman is making more of a sacrifice, when getting married? The man has to work for the rest of his life to take care of his wife and parents and children/daughters and not expect help from anyone. Why is that not seen as a sacrifice as much as what woman sacrifices, if not more
exactlt women are have it easy..
Feminism and liberalism is killing our sisters while pretending to save them. Allahu Al Musta’an
Becauseof the agenda against men
Because of childbirth. It’s very painful.
Please see my response to this. JAk.
Marry Parker for Anomalies , can't be as bad as your first Hated It , at least you'll know it's gonna be a perfect more terrible you can believe in
The word DIVORCE should be disliked.
Allah has never instituted DIVORCE. It's man made by the Europeans and we practice it.
DIVORCE is s not a part of Islam and it goes against the belief that Allah has set for us.
Amazing how it all comes down to the money. Being a mother or father is not a job. It's a gift from Allah to be responsible for a child or children that He has allowed us to birth.
Women do not need to give up their careers and lives for children!
No , you just be a worthless slave instead. Be a dog.
How muslim women can get divorce? Imam said husband has to agree and said it verbal in front of witnesses, women can ask for divorce, only muslim judge can do khula. If husband does not want to divorce then women are stuck
She’s not a slave she can leave if she wants. Why would someone want to be in a marriage with someone that wants out
She has to spend money and get a khula provided the reason is valid
@@M_A_R_K_23because the husband wants to control his wife, wants to punish her, or is too humiliated to allow her to be divorced. this happens all the time. men will refuse to divorce women they abuse.
Stop using the title "let the Quran speak" your misrepresenting Quran.
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ الْعَاصِ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَقْبِضُ الْعِلْمَ انْتِزَاعًا يَنْتَزِعُهُ مِنْ الْعِبَادِ وَلَكِنْ يَقْبِضُ الْعِلْمَ بِقَبْضِ الْعُلَمَاءِ حَتَّى إِذَا لَمْ يُبْقِ عَالِمًا اتَّخَذَ النَّاسُ رُءُوسًا جُهَّالًا فَسُئِلُوا فَأَفْتَوْا بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ فَضَلُّوا وَأَضَلُّوا
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah does not withhold knowledge by snatching it away from his servants, but rather he withholds knowledge by taking the souls of scholars, until no scholar remains and people follow ignorant leaders. They are asked and they issue judgments without knowledge. Thus, they are astray and lead others astray.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī
Take your knowledge from the People of Knowledge; those with knowledge of the Qur'aan, the Sunnah and the Shariah.
This video is truly problematic on many fronts. Please, dear viewer, do yourself a favour and study the fiqh re: marriage/divorce/rights of spouses/nushooz from from spouses/Quranic injunctions re: dealing with marital conflict/etc. before taking any steps.
Allah musta'aan...
سلام
I agree with what she says having been divorced and I initiated it. My only criticism would be we can’t ignore men and the pain they suffer. This is why the majority of suicides are men. We have little support
Please see my response dear brother.
Salam Aleykoum sister where can I find your response?
Please sister don’t be too upset by some of the negative responses by some men.
We can not please everyone in this life.
Allah knows your intentions.
May Allah bless you and your family
I believe the sister is speaking of husbands who abuse their wives, in which I have no sympathy for. If these men are suicidal, then they must seek professional help, but they can't have it both ways, abuse their wives and then talk about being suicidal. In fact that's a scary scenario because they may decide to kill their wife.
@@rashadabdulazeem5387 Salam Aleykoum brother thank you for your response. I am not critical of our sister I agree with her. There are a lot of men here who are intimidated by her because she is a strong independent woman. I was in a very toxic marriage to a very emotionally abusive woman. My point being men also suffer and in general there is little help for men or little recognition of this. It is because of this that male suicides far exceeds female suicides. I did not mean any disrespect to anyone. I hope this makes my point clearer for you. May Allah grant you ease.
Nowadays, alot of married Muslim women cheat on their hardworking husbands... That's why tge men have to give them Talaq.. and their divorced wives will be used as paper towels by other men..I will take any divorced woman to do NIKAH, if she was honest and a good woman, but her husband was bas to her...
Kchick lsmiilt
The reason family is not encouraging of divorce is because they feel you are making whimsically emotional decisions. No family member will encourage you to stay through persistent abuse.
Am like Muslim community odvot but Muslim woman marriage me divorce women no problem
Is triple talaq allowed in Quran?
it is not the question of allowed, it is not the correct method, but if someone does say it three times it does happen THREE times. just because something goes against the sunnah does not mean, in any way, that it has not come into effect.
@@razamughal4582 I am confused. Not helpful answer. Sorry
@@tablebook-dg6vh because you dont know the rules regarding talaq and nikah. Three talaqs are THREE. Its no good saying the Quran gave a certain method. Islam gives a method for a lot of things.
@@razamughal4582 I dont know thats why i am asking.
@@tablebook-dg6vh i understand that, but you need to specifically write a question so that i can know where you are confused. Three talaqs are three. Allah ordered man to give one, but if they do not listen, and issue three, then no one can say logically, that it is not three. It still will be three.
Sadia
You can't justify theft
Don't be a evil person
Don't encourage theft
Don't be foolish
May Allah guide u ameen
Divorce is not good, compromise is better.
Even prophet muhammad (saws) was angry with his wives Ayesha and hafsa but he didn't Divorce them. Surah Tahreem.
God doesn't like Divorce.
1 Corinthians 11:12
Islam does not permit western court divorces unless husband agrees to it. And wife should apologize to husband and give him the position of head the family which Islam has given him and obey him but you're being inspired by western standards of happiness in marriage then divorce from women is inevitable.
What is wrong with you!?
@@waymilky442 I'm perfectly fine go to Saudi Arabia and ask how a wife can seek divorce
@@jahangirsamtio8690culture vs religion. Husband doesn’t own wife. If she wants to leave she can. Why would you want to force someone to stay with you that wants to leave sound weak and pathetic
@@M_A_R_K_23 are you divorced?
If he signs a west divorce paper TALAQ DOES HAPPEN
@3:12 this is shameful theft disguised as religion. the madhabbs say food, shelter and clothing are provided to the wife for up to 2 years, IF she wasn't at fault. That amount also varies depending on who's religiously at fault for marriage. If she decided to divorce (khula), or was nushuz, or worse, then she's not entitled to anything. Child support is just for food and clothing for the children.
The terms of a divorce is by law not religion.
Divorce is a personal decision; only Allah knows who is right and who is wrong; no one owns the other. Many marriages happen without truly knowing the other only through sheer attraction or through family connection - it takes a life time to know someone and people change. It is hopeless to stay in an unhappy marriage. No religion allows for unhappiness or for one party to take advantage of the other in a marriage.
Please see my response above. JAk.
No it doesnt. You pay mahr to the wife. Thats it. And she gets three months of accommodation for free in her iddat.
This woman literally said that Muslim women need to know that (at minute 3:29):
... you are providing a service .....
really?
So the woman in the Muslim family is one who is providing a service ????
What kind of service ????
How can a woman wearing a hijab in a Muslim channel come to say that the Muslim woman within the Muslim family is a service worker?
You are out of your mind in all respects.
Canadian culture has damaged your brain in an irrepressible way I would say!
I think the sister is speaking legal jargon as far as Muslim women providing a service for the family. She meant no harm.
Now, if a Muslim woman seeks legal counsel in the matter of divorce, should she seek a Muslim attorney or a non-Muslim attorney?
Sir service is not a bad word
If we agree to the notion that women do provide “service” to the household by raising children (if they are not working ) then the husband also has perhaps
sponsored the lifestyle and paid all the bills ? So is he then also providing a “service” ? What is the claim to his wealth in this case ? It sounds like a business transaction.
Just wow bro.
@@sunshinelife6934 If the role of mothers is the pillar of every family, it has been assigned by Allah to women as honor and elevation, to the fathers he has assigned the duty to provide for the economic needs of the whole family. In these roles, there is justice and complementarity. In the event of a divorce, the father must still continue to pay the Nafaka for his children, and if he has abused his wife, then the courts recognize the latter a compensation. On the other hand, in the event that it is she who wants to divorce her husband without acceptable reasons from a legal point of view, then it is she who must return the dowry received to the ex-husband. In this there is justice too. Each of them can redo his life. The man assuming the financial responsibility of another wife, and the ex-wife being supported by another husband.
Do you understand brothers what kind of poisons, these two have decided to distill in the minds of Muslim women ????
This is a horrible video, the Muslim mother instead of being the greatest divine honor decided by the creator for human beings, is nothing more than a service, like the plumber or the electrician and for which therefore it must correspond to a cost in canadian dollars (money is actually the only thing that interests this type of women).
I am in shock, incredulous, I have lost the appetite to hear this filth in a Muslim channel.
@@feroserehman5235 You say truth? What the hell of truth you speak about???
Is the woman (mother) within the Muslim family a servant providing a service who must be paid?
Our religion entitles the wife who divorces her husband on her money ???? But what kind of religion are you talking about ???
In Islam, a woman who divorces her husband must return her dowry to him. You understood!
You come across as judgmental, arrogant, argumentative, self-righteous, please get off the comments and live a life. See the divorcees around you, see the reality. Too often our idealistic and imaginative perspectives can seal our heart. Peace to you.
Victims can be both men and women ina marriage. I can’t say for all but I have seen atleast some women who live the life of royalty provided by husband. They are given liberty to hire helpers to do housework and to help take care of children, husband also gives multiple credit cards to use for personal expenses over and above monthly household expense being taken care of. Their careers are also supported and that they are given freedom to study and further their career without the pressure of working and earning a living. After all this then the very same people go ahead and label the marriage as abusive and preach others what a tough journey they had.
@@sunshinelife6934 I don't question the legitimacy of the divorce. What shocks me is that on a channel called "let's Quran speak", they step on and vomit on what the Koran and the sunna establish in the event of divorce in its various types: "Talak", "Tatlik", or "Khul '".
What shocks me is that in this video, Muslim women are actually being invited to exploit the laws of Western countries which are notoriously extremely hostile to Islam.
This channel needs to change its name. I suggest the following names:
How to make money with divorce
Let's anti Quran speak
How to reduce the husband in underware
Astaghfurallah. I don't know what you mean by "these type of women" but you've clearly misunderstood either the video or Islam itself which gives rights and honours women not only as mothers but as human beings. Please see my response above and let me know if you have any further questions. I wish you the best.
What the hell are you talking about!!
Mr.s khan is clueless about laws of divorce!
Women only get small gift in islamic point of view.
Pleasw get someone who knowd what she is saying!!!
Please provide evidence for what you've stated. Especially answer- how on earth are women supposed to take care of their children based on a small gift?
@@saadiakhan9168 okay dont be confuse. child support is different from for money for women as almony. child supoort is given to women only if she is taking care of kids. they are many cases. women do not care of kids and men take it.
its in quraan- when men divorce women. he gived her small goodbye gift. Thats it! any women that takes Unlawful money from exbusband. such as his assests, income forceably thru legal system. just remmeber. you will own this money to him on day of judgement!!!
Well thats all I meant and I would never advise women to seek their husband's financial ruin. In everything we do, we should indeed fear Allah. Many men walk away from any and all financial obligation and simply dump the kids on their wife and this was why I said what I said.
My dear brother, a good discussion should never begin with "what the hell are you talking about." It should also not call another person clueless. Such language is not in the spirit of understanding or good adab.
I wish you all the best.
@@saadiakhan9168 No you didnt. I think you forgot what you were saying.
go watch that video! sure some men do that because some women also givr hard time to men. every case different. and their is 2 side of story!
women are emotional use kids for everage.
SubhanAllah brother. Are you telling me you know what I was saying better than I do? And that I somehow forgot my own point or misunderstood my own logic? Every situation is different but as a woman of taqwa I am firmly against any kind of injustice or unethical behaviour against anyone. Peace.
Any relationship that looks up to these so-called "experts" is doomed to end miserably. Why don't they encourage mutual dialog between husband and wife? Why dont they establish communication and coaching centers for spouses to come and learn how to communicate? Why do these so called "expert" jump in between them to promote their feminist agenda and ruin homes that can be saved by coaching couples? Shame!
Literally one of the first things she said was try everything, and talk to your husband. Looks like you are watching this video from an already biased I am-going-to-bash-the-feminist-mindset-today attitude, only to end up not registering sound advice by a woman who is not a feminist. By the way, there was no man-hating in this video, at all. Please educate yourself instead of exercising arrogance.
@@sheebadsulthana I take your comment positively and appreciate it. However, you missed the most imp part of my comment that is 'establishing coaching centers'. This is a huge gap that gives couples to come to a decision prematurely. Yes I love bashing falsehood - feminism being just one of them - but here I didn't jump like you said, I would ask again: Why these coaches jump on establishing "Divorce Support System" before 'establishing coaching centers' that can help save marriages? Seems like you too read my comment with a bias (however, I dont mind)
I am actually a coach and do alot more marriage coaching than divorce coaching. My next publis talk is called "7 HABITS OF STRONG MUSLIM MARRIAGES." Most of the women I coach (75%) actually end up staying in their marriages and building a stronger foundation with their husband. And I know many people involved in similar work. They're so busy with it in fact, they have little time for engagign with internet trolls and armchair critics. Please actually know someone and their work before you make assumptions and backbite about them. JAk.
Brother you clearly didn't watch the bideo
@@saadiakhan9168 Heartiest respect for your work sister. I am not a troll, however, just sick and tired of so-called coaches. I take my words back as far as your are concerned cuz you are doing exactly what should have been done; marriage coaching instead of divorce enablement. I apologize, I had ABSOLUTELY no intention to hurt the ones who are REALLY doing the right work.
Divorced is disliked by the LORD work on your marriage. Find out your shortcomings towards one another and fix the,. Dont be like the west
@@workfaith6846
I donot know what are you going on but you should know that nothing is perfect nor on work nor on other thing .
You should alwayes know that
Divorce is a last resort .
If there is a real problem, all other solutions must be tried before divorce.
Is he is beating the women then there is nothing to work out.
If you had actually watched the video you would understand I too consider divorce a last resort after all other options have been exhausted. Of course people should work on their marriage. That goes without saying. But what happens if their marriage still isn't working? Should they continue to stay even though divorce is allowed in our religion? If that's your opinion, you are making something haram which Allah (swt) Himself has allowed.
Here speaks not the Koran, but a Muslim liberalist.
Please let me know how anything I've said contradicts the Quran and I will be happy to reconsider. JAk.
@@saadiakhan9168 you either follow islamic law or Canadian law. Respecting the laws of a country you live in does not mean you can just get rid of the sharia. A husband pays mahr whenever a wife requests it or after a divorce. the mahr is agreed upon before marriage. this is completely different from western law. futhermore No sane father will just leave his children and walk away. there maybe some but generally they dont. he will continue to provide for his kids b4 or after a divorce. you make it seem like only mothers could keep the children after a divorce.
@@mercutio335 you've spent a long time talking about mahr but I've said nothing about this. Must be have an all or nothing mentality? The Quran provides guidelines for some things and strict laws for others. Divorce: guidelines. The prohibition on gambling or usury or the necessity of a mahr : strict ruling. No one is saying "let's reject the shariah." The shariah exists as a fluid entity depending on your local context. Go look at the divorce laws of various Muslim countries. No two are the same. Thats bc the Quran only provides guidelines and the local judges interpret how to apply those guidelines in their local context. This can also change with time. Egypt changed its divorce laws recently to reflect more modern understandings of marriage and divorce. Are they wrong for doing this? No. That's the beauty of our religion! It works no matter where or when you are.
"No sane father would ever abandon his kids." Brother, are you basing this on working in the field or your own imagination? Lots of fathers abandon their kids everyday, including Muslim fathers with multiple businesses or steady jobs making high incomes. Please look at the reality.
@@saadiakhan9168 in that case there are countless mothers who also abandon their children. What's your point ?? I don't care what Egypt has done these are man made laws. All I am saying is you can't twist and turn the religion to fit feminist narratives. There are clear instructions on divorce in Islam period. At the end of the day all of us will stand b4 Allah and be judged and no western courts will save us.
@@mercutio335OK so there's no place for man-made laws in the entire world even if those laws are based on Quranic interpretations? Brother, perhaps you should first learn the basics of fiqh and shariah and how they operate in the real world--not the world in your mind.
Of course women wrong men all the time and some also abandon their children. This is equally wrong. The overarching principles in the Quran are to do the right thing and to practice kindness and good conduct even in the middle of getting a divorce. No one should be dealt with unjustly, not men, not women, especially not their children. I don't know what I've said that you find so deeply offensive or unislamic but this is no longer a good use of my time. Peace to you.
At least change the title of the video, please.
The Muslim woman is the one who voluntarily submits to the will of Allah and not the one who exploits Western laws in striking contradiction with the laws of Allah. It bothers me you can't imagine how much this title.
You are only interested in money, ok, do it but without dirtying my religion out of courtesy.
You have completely misunderstood the points in the video AND women's rights in Islam.
Astaghfirullah. u r giving fatwa for Muslim girls to fight for husband wealth bcoz she work in house. thats ur Islam lady not the Islam we got 1400 years ago. In Islam the individual property should remain to individual n Mehar is the property of wife n thats why Islam allow girls to have mehar for her safety. if she work in house for 5 years, she also get all luxuries and roof n bread for free for 5 years. u r making ur own laws in the name of Islam.
exactly. this is what the world is like now. you have feminists wearing the hijab and plastered with makeup.